158. Your Flaws Didn't Cause This

When your own adult child cuts you off, it can be deeply hurtful. And part of the reason for that pain is what it feels like their estrangement means.
Many rejected parents believe it’s their personal flaws that prompted their adult children to create distance. They think that because they’ll never be perfect, there’s nothing they can do to repair the relationship.
But estranged adult children don’t need parents to be perfect; just listen to RCP 121 on that point. In this helpful episode, Tina makes the case that parents’ weaknesses per se are not to blame for estrangement.
All parents have flaws; those are simply part of the human landscape. Tina argues that it’s interactions -- through habits, family dynamics and specific behaviors -- that should be the focus of repair efforts. Unlike personality, personal interactions are potentially under our control.
This is good news. You can’t (and don’t have to) change who you are. Specific behavioral changes are far more accessible. They could make a huge difference to you and your estranged adult child(ren).
For more on how to repair troubled relationships with adult children, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.
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