20 Worst Opening Lines in Fiction | 2 To Ramble

[@BOOMshakalaka481]

I will carry “world’s thirstiest gerbil” with me for the rest of my life. Thank you for this gift.

[@2ToRamble]

😂😂

[@financeexplainedgraphics]

So real

[@isaiahrussell5643]

"Ricardo lapping and sucking at felicity's mouth as If she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil" This has to be the single funniest sentence in the english lexicon😂😂😂

[@2ToRamble]

😂😂

[@gary.665]

I wonder how well a "Fan Submitted Openings Lines" video would do, giving good critiques or praise to lines that Ramblers wrote or came up with.

[@excellent.side.characters]

While the line isn't great I still kind of want there to be a real book whose worldbuilding includes people randomly finding small dragons in their boots 😅

[@emersonwright5390]

“Our young hero woke upon the day that he had come of age to receive the gift of his birthright, and so he rolled out of bed, picked up his blade, and ran it through his chest.” - Emerson Wright, 2024: He wrote as he was bored waiting for his Monday to commence.

[@2ToRamble]

Unironically hooked me 😂😂😂😂

[@B-MC]

Please write this "the chosen one didn't want the role and intentionally died" story. Like what happens now to those still dealing with whatever the chosen ones birthright was there to deal with?

[@emersonwright5390]

@@2ToRamble😂😂Dang it! I’m not terrible!….. but thanks

[@OrangeSun55]

damn it the end is so interesting now a wanna read a whole book of this!!!! mission failed successfully

[@OrangeSun55]

damn it the end is so interesting now a wanna read a whole book of this!!!! mission failed successfully

[@abbeyroche2983]

I love watching this channel descend into chaos

[@Brenthias]

Calling Richard out for using laser blaster! Too freaking funny!

[@AstroAves]

I agree with Richard. We need at least a parody/funny short story from Austin. I want to read about juvenile toes buried in snow waiting to get dessert from a mildly attractive waiter.

[@2ToRamble]

😁😁

[@Jonix2000]

Thank you for the bottom of my heart, Ben working 13 hours per day for weeks I needed this, and i didn’t know it before I started listening Thank you

[@valliyarnl]

Just in time as I was sitting down to study. Thanks guys :))

[@2ToRamble]

🙏🙏

[@funkledunkdumber]

Thank you from the depths of my heart for introducing me to Carlton Mellick

[@2ToRamble]

😂😂

[@emersonwright5390]

Please make a video where you guys show off all of your different bookshelves in your house!

[@PistachioGold]

23:47 what in the world 😂😂😂😂 This was incredibly hilarious 😂😂

[@austinoverthere8898]

I love that you guys mixed it up and made it a guessing game. I really like the tier list videos too but this is a fun idea!

[@harrisonlynch4701]

My submission for the worst first sentence: The zombie wasn’t dead like it used to be, it was reanimated by magic or science or something to shamble through the undulating swamp being thankful it couldn’t smell the miasma, or it would be if it could think like it could when it was alive the first time.

[@2ToRamble]

So bad, great job

[@vb.the.b]

35:10 austin and richard holding hands

[@2ToRamble]

😂😂 great catch

[@juancamilocalvache451]

You should look for the metaphors of Jay Kristoff in Never night (He is also the Author of the Empire of the Vampire). Imagine a trilogy full of lines like this, but that is actually a serius story.

[@Sammy00_]

Enjoyed this like a hound enjoys a game of tag with a porcupine, which is all fun rough-and-tumble until it becomes painful, and therefore not fun, as getting quills in the face is a very acquired taste I find myself sorely lacking still. Great video! Next with some absurd pieces of dialogue :)

[@financeexplainedgraphics]

You guys had way too much fun with this one 😂

[@friedchickensavage]

This is my favorite video u guys have ever posted thank u for this lol

[@2ToRamble]

Ahh thankya for watching!

[@a.h.emarketingagency]

Finnalyy You Uploaded😭😂

[@joshuawalkerauthor]

You guys should try this format with some authors on the call too, haha! Brilliant work as always

[@ParaRevd]

I gotta own that book about whats between stacy's legs lol. It unironically sounds really funny. Id also love to see both of you write a bad book, because you're great at writing comedically bad lines. XD

[@2ToRamble]

thank you… i think 😂😂

[@FancyTuna77]

This was great 😂

[@a.h.emarketingagency]

"In a realm of sheer banality, John emerged as the embodiment of dullness, a character so utterly unremarkable that even dust particles yawned in his presence. His life unfolded like a tired script, with each predictable event playing out in a lackluster fashion, as if the universe itself had succumbed to an uninspired slumber." This is actually Bad 😭

[@Morfeusm]

“Dust particles yawned” 😂

[@a.h.emarketingagency]

​@@Morfeusm😂

[@2ToRamble]

I love it 😂

[@randywaldron2715]

My reflection scowled back at me.

[@drowsy9701]

I woke up in the morning from a deep sleep after going to bed the night before. Carlton Mellick III also has a book called The Baby Jesus Butt Plug…😅😂

[@2ToRamble]

Oh man 😭

[@arettger22]

Great episode! I’m honestly shocked that a book on my TBR (Empire of the Vampire) made the list. Also slightly shocked (and relieved) that the book I sent you two didn’t make the cut lol

[@2ToRamble]

😁😂

[@hitzkooler15]

I read Empire of the Vampire and it was surprisingly good!

[@toledodiazkatyaandrea6148]

How to know Austin wrote it: Awfully weird analogies (eggs, stick, juvenile toes),super repetitive and extra information, and probably would win the contest for the worst line ever. (Love ya)

[@2ToRamble]

The egg one wasnt mine but you may be onto something lol

[@MaxFidler]

I scowled at my reflection. My reflection scowled at me. Screaming defiance as I attempted to tame my wild hair.

[@SkeeterMakesGames]

One of your funniest episodes thus far. I will also say I preferred Austin's lines...we need a short parody story written by him.

[@KALtheHighstorm117]

Writer Austin > Writer Richard Teeter my totter > Democracy is cringe Hair < Bald "Once upon a time, there came a day where the frogs jumped not very high into the air and rain fell like water through the sky that Sir Alan Thrike climbed out of his red, white, purple, blue, and aquamarine shaded bedframe and declared to the world like a kitty cat does not do to the small brown rodent that is its prey, 'Today, I shall swim!'"

[@2ToRamble]

Thats great lol

[@Smileysmiley012]

Another W video!

[@GetmanTheGod]

This was hilarious loved the video. . . . However, where shadow rising?

[@2ToRamble]

Shadow rising is coming - looking like March 😁

[@Jillybeanzxo]

Carlton Mellick iii is the king of bizzaro fic 😂 I would love to see you guys read & review any of his stuff

[@Elricsedric]

"I am the sigma who skibidied all the toilets"

[@2ToRamble]

Oh dear god

[@Elricsedric]

@@2ToRamble I win.

[@trentwilliamson1928]

19:20 A good point. I'd agree with that, as well as many cases where the joke is rooted in harmful misinformation that's spread the more it's told.

[@rkgrkg]

Love what you said about people knowning/appreciating the material well enough to make a great parody of it. Reminds me of the recent Star Trek Next Generation anniversary 'special' cartoons whoever is in charge of Star Trek put out. I saw only clips, but that was too much. Awful stuff. Fans could and probably have come up with much, much better.

[@quattro4313]

Can you guys do a video about judging books by their covers?

[@jakobc07]

WRITE FASTER AUSTIN !!! We need your book ✍️🙏

[@2ToRamble]

🙏🙏

[@studiosrp8860]

PLEASE check out the first line to Night Watch by Terry Pratchett. It's probably my favorite first line of all time. It's perfect.

[@sosoadja7663]

Richard line 5 is adhd thought process in a nutshell.

[@mattiasbt16]

yay (austin read project hail mary)

[@2ToRamble]

🫡

[@koboldmartian4063]

I conspired with the government to rig Superbowl LVIII so I could watch this episode

[@PhreakPhantom]

Oh...that gerbil line was just.......well....NO.

[@2ToRamble]

Succulent?

[@szethsonsonvallano4175]

Petition for a 2ToRamble review on the haunted vagina novel

[@reigtrain]

20:50 contest Damn it

[@redgiant970]

Ever since you guys said that god awful opening line of Red Sister was good I've have reservations about trusting your opinions on opening lines.

[@2ToRamble]

Ahhh damn, we love that line!

[@redgiant970]

@@2ToRamble That one line was enough for me to know there's no way I'll vibe with Mark Lawrence's work. No offense to him but legitimately some of the contest line were better opening lines in my opinion

[@jamesalexander958]

First line of my thriller Dinner Table "The mirror mirrored Bob back at himself because he stood parallel to its reflective surface, where he saw himself staring back at him, but the re-reflection in his mind wasn’t himself but strips of savory bacon in its reflection, for the mirror mirrored a cannibal so that two well-aged cannibals stood duplicated slurping their chapped lips. "

[@2ToRamble]

Wonderfully awful, thank you for sharing

[@OriginalMrocco]

the classic masculine urge to compliment your friend but only in a way that still insults them. whole video was just u guys being like "i love how much you suck! no seriously. you are the goat of being bad at writing"

[@theoriginalkimerli]

29:36 I’d read that!

[@B-MC]

The scowl at myself in my mirror is a good example of how its short and still doesnt respect the audiences time. "I scowl at my reflection." Done. The sticks one actually pays off because what is happening is due to something being too short and running out of time. I'd argue its length aids its imagery. Whereas the 50 shades of grey example just feels like someone padded an essay, theres no intention or purpose behind it.

[@2ToRamble]

Yea the sentence was super short yet felt long!

[@DerringerHK]

Dont know the answer, but Im guessing Richard Line 4 is actually Richard's.

[@DerringerHK]

Haha got it

[@chelseydworks]

As someone named Chelsey, it’s still a no for me, dawg.

[@elisabethprice4697]

Richard line 4 is Richard...

[@LeonC0704]

I legit screamed when Richard lost.................... why?

[@2ToRamble]

😂😂😂

[@samuelleask1132]

Empire of the Vampire is an incredible book but you guys make it sound so bad hahaha

[@trentwilliamson1928]

20:44 It's absolutely made up since it's referencing Mass Effect's main character while being total gibberish in the terminology. Gonna say it's Richard's line. Edit: "IT WAS MEEE!!" 😂

[@saysayonara]

You might want to learn what a run-on sentence is.