I have a switch for my mood. Whenever I feeling down, I would just switch it off like a switch. But recently, I feel like it has broken. The negative thought keep flowing out and there's nothing I can do about it. I do not like this. I'm paranoid, scared and uncomfortable. I wanna talk to someone one but then I realise no one actually cares!! Because everyone has their own problems. I'm suffocating. When I tell my mum, she will talks about her own problems and compare with mine. She is so competitive, why she always want to talk about her. Why she always wanna win. Win. Win. Win. Even when in miserable pain she wants to be the person with most suffering and sacrifice. Also she always just end it with : "You should get married lah. Find a wife, then she can listen to your complains and share your burden.". I mean you're so selfish you just want grandchildrenand push me away for another person. For what, you don't even know how to really love your own! FYI providing foods, give them education and shelter is not love okay. That's responsibility as a parents for God sake. Stop bragging how you raised 7 children by giving us the minimum. We want love and not you're lucky you are still alive. Many people are more misfortune than you. I DON'T CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. Why no one understand. I'm so lonely.