Bryan Callen Thinks He’s The Toughest Man Alive

Bryan Callen tells stories about his street fights

[@nono9543]

Making Brendan look mature and disciplined is quite a feat

[@juanfigueroa3266]

Underrated comment lol

[@meg2231]

u beat me to the punch lol

[@mistwiir4011]

This is the only time these guys were funny - too bad it wasn't a skit - it was real - even funnier

[@nono9543]

I think Brendan is a funny guy you'd meet in a bar, just not a comedian. As for Bryan, I feel bad for the guy but he's almost 60 now. Dude needs to level with himself and admit he doesn't have to be toughest to be respected.

[@ImNotLuthien]

Holy fuck yes. Ive been watching this guy for years because I love the ufc and I have seen him reacting to fights with Joe and so on, but i never knew this guy has the fucking mentality of a 14 yo.

[@chicagomike4587]

Bryan Callen reminds me of the guy who would try to self apply a nickname like "Mad Dog Bryan Callen" - but it never caught on and he's upset about it.

[@miggs80]

Bryan whispering voice - “Bro, I told you to call me Mad Dog when we’re around the guys”.

[@cameronsweirdnaturechannel]

"okay sad dog"

[@ralphwiggum1982]

@@cameronsweirdnaturechanneldude when we’re around women always call me mad dog Bryan

[@Redmayne152]

You're right he's totally the person to do that, except I don't think it'd be mad dog I think I'd be something like "the Kid"

[@Justbornyesterday]

“When I get mad I just black out😂😂😂😂”

[@brianbrainmusic]

Jesus even Schaub looks smart here

[@penskepc2374]

He not even that bad on the podcast.

[@JohnDoe-cj1cw]

Thats a bit of a stretch..

[@sks0158]

He wasnt nearly as bad as he is now in old podcasts. I unironically think the CTE has kicked in.

[@jarrodoakley6911]

Even his little comments at the beginning were funny. He’s better when he doesn’t try to take the lead

[@dankrhino]

@@penskepc2374 terrible take

[@JawnSmith]

The fighter of the kids

[@rooseveltbrentwood9654]

😂😂😂

[@jayr7890]

Lmaoooo

[@poindextertunes]

nice 😂

[@SevenTwelve-h5u]

Callen is the worst case scenario for when I kid who was bullied learns the bare minimum of self defense

[@Bl4ckD0g]

I think he started taking Muay Thai to be like his fighter buddies, but it's definitely the Dunning-Kruger effect.

[@boosiefade01]

@@Bl4ckD0g Sam Tripoli seriously being into Krathmaga or however tf you say it is so fucking funny. The joe podcast orbiters are cringe man.

[@Thor-Orion]

@@boosiefade01Krav Maga is… interesting. I’m positive there’s some ex-Israeli special forces badass out there who can use Krav to devastating effect, but there are only so many of that kind of person out there, and far, far more Krav Maga McDojo’s out there teaching people how to get themselves killed.

[@windupmerchant1679]

Callen: "I had a car, a white Acura". "I had an axe handle, it was a hickory axe handle". Straight out of the Amber Heard book, tells us the fine details that have no relevance so they will definitely believe its a real story.

[@tonyjonesbassoonwhippet2271]

Exactly. Trying to give the impression of veracity when in reality they're talking utter shite🤣

[@arvmad1]

My thoughts exactly 😂

[@jessed6151]

Because the actual story is so boring, unbelievable that they have to pepper in "interesting" details, as if the average person is gonna be blown away by "gosh darn, I didn't KNOW you could buy an acura in white" so they use details like this to court attention because they already know the end result of their story is so boring it's not even worth bringing up in the first place, but these people are so full of themselves and love to hear themselves talk, that they can't stfu and have to resort to pathetic lies to have a conversation.

[@isabelgellibrandi7496]

"I wore an onion in my belt, which was the fashion of the time..."

[@isabelgellibrandi7496]

Oh and now that Callen is working for Stephen Crowder (cow spanking anyone?) It's obvious he has always been an alpha...

[@jakXDbaby]

I’m embarrassed of my temper, who in their right mind would ever flex on how bad their temper is??

[@95Sn95]

In my 49 years on this planet my experience is people that are certified badasses do NOT feel the need to brag or constantly feel the need to convince people they are a badass. If Bryan was such a walking ass kicker there would be several stories of that vs being a creep. And how can he say the scenario of the bullying and he "gonna show up and kill em" he's not in jail or been jailed for murder or attempted murder so it's obviously never happened and it's obviously a fantasy of his!! Typically the guy you need to be the most afraid of is the confident acting quiet guy. Most "normal" guys can't fight for shit including myself but my success in the altercations has been mostly contributed to my size being over 6' and 209lbs vs my skill and my hard head. Bryan just feels the need to act tough because he surrounds himself with fighters. Theo admits he's kinda a failure when comes to fighting and no one thinks less of him they think he's honest... And why Theo has anything to do with 2 jerk offs with broken moral compass's is beyond me he doesn't need them he's doing better than both!

[@YearsOVDecay1]

Ya but Theo is an admitted convicted peeping tom sex offender perv weirdo. Idk why these other comedians get called out and kicked out the club for their weird sex offender shit but Theo gets a pass?

[@BilltheFifth]

Exactly. I've never seen Danny Trejo defend his reputation as a badass. Haha

[@danhamelgigx.398]

Well said, brother.

[@poindextertunes]

one hundred percent. bcuz real fighters know they can seriously hurt somebody

[@j0nnyism]

Having a hard head helps. I rely on my running skills. As soon as there’s a potential threat I’m down the other end of the street

[@2FRESH-4U]

Brian is that guy that gets all crazy until the guy gets out the car then he’s trying to smooth things over and apologizing to keep the bad ass from hurting him

[@Thor-Orion]

Brian has serious small man syndrome. It’s funny because I know Joe is definitely not any taller than Brian but he is confident and secure enough in himself to not be afflicted with small man syndrome.

[@ToddDCLT4]

Imagine Joe Rogan talking about a fighter walking to the Octagon saying "He has a bad temper."

[@whypie7081]

😂

[@VlogCreations]

A true friend would smack him in the face til he cuts it out

[@sidewalksurfer96]

You a homeless cat b?

[@iamlegend8080]

Hey Ross love you

[@snakecat586]

Ross? 😂 that’s funny. I’ve been looking for you in Tampa. Pranks

[@rg-pq1kb]

“Ape on the Mat” should be the name of his next “comedy” special

[@gfys756]

You win.

[@andrewwalker9911]

I was under the impression that he was making fun of himself. That's how I took it anyway. He can't be serious. He is a pip squeak.

[@maxpayne4129]

Lol 😂

[@Mister_Phafanapolis]

Bryan Callen is the type of guy to yell _”HOLD ME BACK! I don’t know what I’ll do!”_ as he backs away and pulls people in front of him.

[@tizodd6]

Say what you will about Schaub, but Brian telling Schaub to watch how he talks to him, is hilarious. Schaub could literally kill Brian if it got physical😂

[@harley4230]

That was hilarious. We all like to poke fun at Schaub but the dude is like 6'4" 240lbs and has a positive record in mma. As he said himself, he could "pin Bryan down and slide his dick in his mouth... for no reason"

[@l.ronhubbard5445]

Hi Brenda

[@Flipindabird23]

I honestly thought this podcast was designed to be ironic. Now that I know he genuinely believes what comes out of his mouth. I’m genuinely concerned.

[@Austin.Kilgore]

I’m not really convinced he doesn’t tbh. Seems like he was joking or at the very least, hamming it up quiet a bit in all these clips for comedic/entertainment value.

[@stefanm2731]

@@Austin.Kilgore Yeah seems like Callen is just really good at being convincing.

[@saltslag1287]

One summer when i was like 10 i met this baby who looked exactly like bryan callen and i remember feeling so creepy because i couldnt stop staring at this ladys kid thinking 'this baby is the dude from mad tv idk how they did it'

[@Abuhan47]

His attitude seems like people who have never actually been in a fight or seriously sparred. Usually if people get in a lot of fights they realize they are not the main character in an action movie. The people who actually think they would be able to kick everyone’s ass are people who have no reference except for TV and their imagination.

[@Jokes_on_D]

Dude, Brendan should turn that watching scary movies with Bryan into a bit. It'd probably be the funniest thing in his act lol

[@jaredmiller3352]

Ughhh I felt awkward just watching “Bry” get all upset and claim he’s been in a so many fights. Incredibly embarrassing. I’m a skinny dude myself…not scared to throw hands if I mist but I avoid it all costs and would never talk about it. Fighting for any purpose other than protecting yourself or someone else from harm is straight clown behavior which I guess fights a 50 year old who all’s himself the kid rather well

[@jakesmet9426]

That pic of him in that thumbnail with the black hat makes him look like a GAY DROOG from Clockwork Orange LMFAO

[@clifharvey8533]

Bro, the fact that you spit that argument up had me in tears, laughing so hard

[@commanderalex4144]

Diesel patches ik it’s u buddy. Don’t be shy

[@databattlesz]

Callen is good for his roles in Old School, hangover 2 and Poolboy2: Drowning out the fury. He has one range which gets him roles like these.

[@rifles_up2263]

Bryan Callen actually won the kumite the year before frank dukes

[@brianbrainmusic]

He has to be on some drugs for sure...

[@MikeSoutham]

100% seems like roid rage. Imagine being 50 and carrying on like Bryan Callen... Such a moron.

[@50scap3]

“I’m not buying that, even remotely..” 😂nice one Joe!

[@mst3kpimp]

you can tell hes learned much from crowder warning folks to be careful how they speak.. "watch it"

[@zeroThreeSixHD]

Callen making Schaub look normal @4:00 is crazy.

[@gustavozuleta5759]

I fw you bru, you’re not out here using stupid little intros and outros. Youre not even really trying and I fw that heavy.

[@accuser_of_the_brethren7816]

Full stop: Callen is the EXACT type of guy they started the UFC/Pride etc. for. Hell even the Toughman Boxing tournaments are the perfect way to permanently (hopefully) shut these douche whistles up with. Even some of the early UFC tournament's had these exact archetypes on them. The street fighter who's 500 and 0 with 500 KOs and 1 death because he went too far that one time and that's why he doesn't fight anymore 😆 and we laughed so hard when they came in the cage and got put to sleep in less than a minute 100%

[@mikek6115]

The only thing I can think of after reading your comment is mac from iasip.

[@Thor-Orion]

Every single “pit fighter” from the early UFC days had some ludicrous record with ZERO losses. Nobody gets in 500 real fights and wins ALL of them unless you ONLY fight guys who you know you have serious advantages over.

[@Austin.Kilgore]

I’ve always figured Bryan was playing a character of sorts when he acts like a tuff badass.

[@GrantWilliams666]

You got me searching for the part where you had no sound.

[@pontoonBoats398]

A part of me wants to believe it’s just an act. The other part of me thinks he surrounds himself with tough people so he can seem more tough.

[@CNYKnifeNut]

Outside of MadTV, this is the most ive ever heard him speak and even i knew it was just a dumb bit.

[@yenohtnA]

00:45 you just said why Bryan is called “the kid”. That’s the ha ha joke. Bc he’s so much older. Jesus

[@lizardking6135]

10:10 the complete turn around and loss of momentum "Would I?😢" 😂😂

[@Bonzofrombitburg]

He tries waaayyyy to hard to be a tough guy . Even in that clip he goes “ that’s how crazy I was “ lmfao

[@DeepTexas]

No audio on the Callen clip, Bapa.

[@richardhiller3135]

So what if it's a fifteen year old. An experienced fifteen year old is as dangerous as anyone else. Many times more dangerous. Youth and stupid is a dangerous combo

[@HiGlowie]

Agreed. 15 year olds think they have nothing to lose where a 25 or 30 year old will be smarter and think about jail time.

[@OnexMan1350]

callen couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag.

[@hyboirds1536]

Actual badasses don't have to talk about how badass they are like he does. That's called insecurity lol! I knew a kid growing up who was exactly like this. He was so annoying and eventually everyone just got so sick of listening to him. Actually a kind of sad story, he's a miserable late 30's guy with no friends, no life, no nothing. He brought it all on himself and he never learned. I can see Callen ending up the same way.

[@famousmortimer7933]

Just shut up with this dumb narrative already. Some of the hardest men I’ve met were arrogant loud-mouths. Not all people comport themselves the same way and some of the biggest pricks can scrap.

[@mik7517]

The sped up part at 3:50 had me dyinnnnn

[@slothymango]

Bryan's entire persona is a bit. Why does nobody realize that😂

[@offbeatbarley209]

Because it isn’t funny

[@stevens7487]

Brian Callen: Player 1 selects E. Honda -> mashes ‘B’ button -> defeats npc on easy (barely) -> exits game -> goes on podcast talking ‘bout what a badass “street fighter” he is.

[@unchained3502]

that was hilarious 😂 nothing about Brian is tough

[@seller559]

Callen is an act 24/7. I find him hilarious

[@g.w.hampton5525]

oh please.. I love his comedy and have never thought for a moment that he was being serious.. always thought he was just telling crazy macho stories.

[@happy_thank_you]

"you dont have the kind of temper i do!" oof. imagine being his son. that poor kid. imagine if your dad acted like this publicly. that's actual hell life.

[@ChaelSonnen000]

5:56 lmaoo something you'd see in a cartoon. Good shit Schaub

[@keithstone1321]

Most of the time he's joking dude, he does that to give his partners other ways to make jokes. If you watch the podcast with him and Delia you can tell that's just his way of keeping the humor going. He doesn't mind if it's at his expense in the end, he doesn't care about how it makes him look. Not saying that it's all jokes but alot is.

[@Dmac6969]

The clip that you show with delia, the audio is all fucked up

[@DukesUp1]

I like your content, and you're usually spot on. I haven't watched the vid yet, but everything Bryan Callen does is satire. He's joking. He knows he's not tough or good at fighting. He knows he's not macho. He's just joking. And I really enjoy it lol I think he's hilarious.

[@johnLennon255]

Oh God shut up, he's obviously not joking in this clip 😊

[@jessed6151]

Dude, fuckin satire gets old, find a new bit for entertainment, no one finds this form of satire funny, except other brain dead wannabe tough guys, or their equally brain dead yes-man friends who probably egg him on to see what new lies he will tell. This is just pathetic attempts at proving he's macho and then people try to cover for him saying it's satire, bull shit even his own friends are tired of him derailing a conversation on a podcast just for him to have a spotlight on how tough he is.

[@Thor-Orion]

@@johnLennon255you know John Lennon beat up women?

[@random_toaster]

7:01 audio cuts out for the whole clip....

[@gimmeehands1]

I can’t be a coincidence that his name rhymes with Lyin Tellin.

[@FuttBuckerson]

He's Nic Cage in Con Air, who gets arrested because he's a highly trained Army Ranger, and using his fists in a fight is considered a deadly weapon.

[@Badger90]

8:44 Brendan needs to capture that energy and run with it.

[@screamdreamer9085]

This was before Rogan called Bryan out directly about this. He said there’s no one around Bryan to call him out on his BS when he tries to sound tough

[@gimmeehands1]

That first clip you played with Rogan was the infamous episode where Joe retired Brendan.

[@FrankMontes24]

He made Brendan likable for a moment with that BS story

[@koneking2569]

5:14 Brendan has been on numerous podcasts saying he's never been in a street fight yet here he talks about he was continually in street fights yet he calls Callen out for lying.

[@stevenbaker7894]

Fought middle schoolers 😂

[@TheGuitar777]

Schaub has also said in another podcast that he's never been in a single street fight. These two deserve each other.

[@chrisstarcher6010]

I work with a couple of dudes that woop so much ass it's insane. These two go back and forth telling these stories of how they have just beaten up so many people. I can't imagine they believe each other as much as they are just feeding off of each other's energy.

[@Masutora]

If he Brian was who he says he is, he would've fought Brendan just for saying he wouldn't fight him.

[@nickelmypickle]

Damn no wonder he hangs around Brian because I think I just started liking Bapa a little more from this

[@hamshank29]

I always hate people boasting about street fights or how their fighting style would prevail. If you routinely get into fights in public, you either live in a horrible environment or are so insecure that every negative encounter with someone somehow escalates to violence.

[@youtubeistrash2347]

Such little brother energy

[@Veilspire]

His comedy routines are like he pieced it together from the cutting room floor of Rogan. Farter and the Shid.

[@Mykelsen]

This argument has "my dad is WAY stronger than your dad" vibes.

[@whatsdownisupwhatsupisdown4115]

Y’all are so easy to troll. This has always been part of Callen’s standup and style. He’s always playing tough guy and people actually think he’s being serious.

[@Moon-littt]

Bryan is a scared child internalized

[@badbabybear1]

It's so bizarre a dude who used to be on MadTV is now popping off like this.

[@KaosII1968]

The hickory axe handle is from the movie "Pale Rider" with Clint Eastwood. 1985

[@robbaholic]

4:08 hilarious watching two dudes sit like that and talk about how many fights they’ve been in 😂

[@TomWillHowell]

He’s like a real life Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

[@blakemoore1905]

I just realized hes on tmz and i cant stop laughing

[@carewser]

What's with all the speed/tempo changes in the different clips?

[@SuperGymmie]

You should watch him on the Cleared Hot Podcast. Its a podcast from Andy Stumpf the SEAL that Joe constantly has on. I think Bryan has been on his show 3x.

[@-Azure.EXE-]

Why is he so proud of his immature rage?

[@problematic3255]

Guns exist. Weapons exist. Nobody should be walking around like they’re invincible. It doesn’t go well in the long run.

[@sawkmicoc4287]

brian is actually really good at setting people up for jokes at his own expense, and is a champ at taking them.

[@woobi4739]

Anybody else's audio cut out at 7:00 ?

[@sophiebean5059]

I'm glad you dont do this "Watch me play my sponsor" while I talk garbo anymore. Thank you.

[@josephpossanza5022]

People who have to tell other people how 'crazy' they are, are really the biggest simps out there.

[@gerardford9706]

Joe : you'd be dead Bryan : would i?

[@NYD666]

Brendan was a professional. Wtf, he also was a football player. Pretty sure he fought then too

[@rjfoster5496]

I don’t listen to any of these podcasts but saw Bryan and clicked because I only remember him from the one episode on Fraser and then the Goldbergs sitcoms lol

[@Staring4827]

You realize bryan doing these stories is a bit right? He tries to set brendan up to bully him its his role on the podcast.

[@dr.loomis4221]

Everyone knows a person like Callen...they're exhausting

[@mrj3217]

Great work

[@brianbrainmusic]

He thinks he's Conor

[@808youknowwhat]

Callen is the biggest liar...The funniest on was the one that Joe Koy and Schab calls him out the whole episode...He's the worst lair especially when it comes to him fighting and confrontation..

[@lowlowseesee]

yo this is the only and first and last time brandan has ever been the voice of reason and intelligence holy shit

[@DeadMuzan]

Mma is the worst thing to happen to ex nerd comedians.

[@FernandoTieppo]

Imagine being a skinny old guy saying “you can try” to a UFC heavyweight fighter. Bappa has issues and we all love to hate him, but THE EGO to tell him to “be careful” is just too much for me.

[@jaypowell3527]

Dude audio on 2nd clip is too low just FYI

[@TheSands83]

Hes called the kid because “ irony“

[@HighNLo]

My main view on Callen is on the show Goldberg's which I grew up with on the TV. His characters catchphrase was about him being in "peak physical condition" and I'm starting to think the writers were trolling him and he went along with it. What is he 5"7? Does he think he's Bruce Lee?

[@texasfuneral4787]

Bryan is a professional almost fighter