8 Warning Signs You're Dating a Total Jerk! Don't Be a D*ck

[@mr.goodwrench8273]

Treva, thank you for saying "the best apology is changed behavior". That is spot on. I'm glad I'm not the only one who believes that and says that to people.

[@silkeschwarzkopf8834]

Yes, absolutely true!!

[@tracy3812]

I’ve always said, “save your breath. Stuff your flowers. Change your behavior.”

[@jackdeniston6150]

Have you ever, ever had an apology from a woman? Guarantee no, because you are here.

[@lckendel1079]

Very insightful video. It can be hard to tell if someone is a jerk if you were raised by gaslighters. You wonder if you’re being too sensitive. Excellent point. And as you say, the key is, if it feels bad, why fight for the relationship? On a related note, there’s a video going around that I saw this morning of women asking their partners to get them a cup of coffee. The results were pretty interesting…

[@DesertflowerUSA]

Thanks for the tip! Reminds me of how back when women were fighting for respect in the workplace in the 70’s, I had a boss who used to get me coffee lol! VERY TELLING

[@ivanvarykino8202]

On the other hand, I appreciated online dating profiles as an introduction and opportunity for people to tell me who they truly are. Many people have the natural inclination to "out themselves" as if to say, hey look out: I tell it like it is! I'm sarcastic! or What you see is what you'll get! Maybe unlike some, I spent a lot of time studying profiles and used them as a secondary filter. Yes attraction matters. But I was far more concerned with finding a sweetheart than finding a sweet trophy 😉

[@2ndActTV]

And that's EXACTLY the right attitude for and use of the Apps, Ivan. Spot on!!

[@patrickwade3150]

Over the years I’ve had “friends” that were jerks/dicks and they weren’t a friend for long. I’ve dated a few jerks along the way as well. Good riddance, I say. My parents raised me to be thoughtful and respectful of others, so the idea of being a jerk just doesn’t even occur to me. I stopped being susceptible to these people many years ago after being burned. Funny thing is, they never even see that they’re being that way. Good show ladies!

[@DesertflowerUSA]

Jerk to me is someone that is annoying; a “dick” or cdick” is someone who is a level beyond that can trigger fight or flight response. You don’t want to get around those kind of toxic people ever! If someone exhibits jerk behavior and you don’t get away from them you could also be subjected to the (c)dick behavior. That goes into verbal (emotional) abuse to me. Funny you say that Patrick, I’ve always felt that they can’t look outside of themselves to see how their behavior is to the recipient. Very true.

[@woodliceworm4565]

Not all people who appear selfish are selfish, a lot of only children simply have no idea about not being the only focus and have problems adapting. I have seen that it can be a bit sad when they admit to worrying about being too selfish. I think, the prime trait or factor here is self-awareness. How self-aware is a person, that level of self-awareness will then reflect onto others - you can call it empathy, or reflection or caring but mostly it is the ability to view life from another perspective. As no one is perfect and everyone has different triggers being a jerk or its smaller cousin being annoying can be in the eye of the beholder. Being a total Dk requires skill and talent, to keep up being totally aggravating day after day does take an effort. How do you know you're dating a jerk - easy the rate online dating is transforming and filtering out any man with a gram of empathy the only ones left online are going to be jerks or Chad but then Chad can be a jerk so bingo. Problem solved

[@richardhintonracing]

Now who could possibly say anything hurtful to either of you two ! People continue to get better the older they get. Talking about her is actually a much easier way of keeping conversation going with someone you do not know . . Dead right about spiteful remarks hiding behind a computer screen - things no one would ever say in person or on the 'phone .

[@DesertflowerUSA]

Not new to me, I was a trucker for 25 yrs and the stuff people said over the CB would curl your ears! We called them CB Rambos 😂

[@PatMcGrath-o5y]

Once a Psychologist explained to me that the way women show aggression is to label and judge people, my perception of women changed. Attempting to shame and insult others as a woman is the same as a man punching and kicking another person. He also expressed that attempts to use guilt and the need to be right are inherent character flaws that developed from their childhood experiences with their father mostly. Once you see through that there is no going back.

[@lckendel1079]

Relational aggression, yes. People do that when they feel threatened. Doesn’t mean it’s over unless you want it to be. See Gottman on contempt. There are ways to change it. The phrase that helps me is “love isn’t something you feel, it’s something you do.”

[@PatMcGrath-o5y]

@@lckendel1079 Huh? My point was that women who use shame and insults are aggressive in the same way that men are physically. My do this without feeling threatened and are just bullies. I state it came from a lack of a healthy relationship with Dad. see that.

[@lckendel1079]

@@PatMcGrath-o5y Sorry, I misunderstood. I thought “there is no going back” sounded rather hopeless. I hope there is always something that can be done if people really care about each other, but I guess that’s not the situation you were describing.

[@DesertflowerUSA]

Back in the 50’s before women had any power, the use of women to display feminine toxicity was rampant. In social situations many still do that but i believe it is changing and women stick together better than our moms’ generation did.

[@PatMcGrath-o5y]

@@DesertflowerUSA your comment is not related to this conversation or well grounded.

[@austriaperez497]

My favorite ladies! Love the title ❤❤

[@2ndActTV]

Yay! Thank you! Sure appreciate that! 🤗

[@Deltacaptain1980]

Also: Don't be a putz......😡

[@sandrasgotvoice]

Treva: "Homie don't play that". 🤣 Love, love this channel; couldn't wait to hear Silke say the title 🤣 🤣!

[@2ndActTV]

@@sandrasgotvoice Thanks Sandra! We definitely had fun with this one! 😁Thanks for watching!

[@number1662]

Some women tend to like more edgy men "ie" a jerk, conceited and or arrogant men and the self confidence that comes with him. In her personal conquest to change him shes willing to deal with his mistreatment and disrespectful behavior, until it gets so bad she eventually gives up. Don't let someone use there past to destroy your present and future.

[@martinsaunders7925]

There are two essential "books" online that are precursors to these ladies advice and experience in dating. Not in conflict with but in addition to. The DSM5 which can give a realistic definition of disordered personalities not hackneyed buzzwords. A point Treva brought up. The second is The Art of War , Sun Tsu,which helps with inevitable conflicts. Dating,the dynamics of dating,can be extended to other areas of life also. Surely,those other areas,work,family and politics reflect back into dating. The point of meeting another person to assess compatibility.

[@martinsaunders7925]

@lckendel1079 as a student learning the consensus of opinion as to the way life is seen and then acted upon........Well yes. The DSM could be seen by the blind as a description of an elephant by touching only a part. By touching its' leg the prevailing myth is expressed as " narcissism". By taking a" pinch of salt" it may also extend to the elephants' trunk. At least two points of reference to apply Lao Tsu in dealing with the inevitable gender skirmishes, sometimes avoiding all out war.

[@andrewbird57]

Treva is always a barrel of laughs. The KZbin algorithms should pick up on this one. I've never been accused of dickery. But I have been charged with duckery.

[@2ndActTV]

LOL, "duckery" 😂 I hope you're right about the algorithm. It's drastically changed over the last 6 weeks, and other creators in the over 50 space are also REALLY feeling it!

[@lckendel1079]

What is this about the algorithms? I have heard something about this from an over 50 KZbinr, but I’m not sure I understand it.

[@yank4334]

what may be a jerk to somone may not be a jerk to someone one else ...we all have different opinions and values

[@M-iy4tf]

Number one sign, you are attracted to him 😂

[@eddy2561]

Silke a narcissist is a jerk, ladies call it like it is...

[@2ndActTV]

Hi Eddy! Yes, all narcissists are jerks, but not all jerks are narcissists! A jerk can change, a narcissist cannot! A garden variety jerk can learn to see his (her) evil ways 😅

[@DougHardy541]

Of course Treva will have an In Living Color reference 10:01. And again guys (and gals) named Richard get dragged through the mud.😂 To Treva’s point, the anonymity of the internet allows one to say and do what they would normally never do in person, unfortunately this has bled into reality.

[@2ndActTV]

It really has!! I agree, Doug! And I loved "In Living Colors" - that show launched Jim Carey, among others! 🙂

[@ldub4563]

Confirmed...I've dated em! 😆👍

[@RobertVarner-h5b]

I'm more a deplorable than a jerk.

[@starcatcher3691]

Lol

[@2ndActTV]

😂 Hi Robert! Good to hear from you!

[@josephblunt5987]

I resemble that remark!

[@2ndActTV]

@@josephblunt5987 LOL 😅 Thanks for watching, Joseph!

[@billm1866]

Every nice guy out there will tell you that women prefer jerks over nice guys

[@lckendel1079]

It does seem like that. What women want though, is game. Nice guys with game.

[@TraciGreen-t9p]

You are describing narcissistic behavior. Get out if you are beginning treated by anyone like this.

[@2ndActTV]

I agree!! Thanks for your comment, Traci!

[@chrisduhaime5689]

There who they are this late in life entering the last quarter with the 2 minute warning coming up. String along is head games @ they belong to the phone they belong to the knight. Psychobabble beat down ! Check please🤤 my new name is Casper