3 Killer Query Letter Openings that Got Agents (Real Examples!)

[@soccerguy325]

What this tells me, Alyssa, is not that comps, genre, etc. are not bad luck, or should be avoided in a query letter, but that the plot blurb is arguably the most, or perhaps the only, crucial part. I've heard you yourself say that some agents have told you their eyes go straight to the blurb without even looking at anything else. Makes you really consider what's important when crafting a query.

[@RachelWallis-xz6ri]

After watching your last query letter examples, I tweaked my query and already have a full MS request from a New York agent. I know rejection is still likely, but it’s nice to be asked. Thank you!

[@AlyssaMatesic]

Congratulations! 🎉 That's huge, and I'm so happy to hear the video helped you with tweaking your query letter. Fingers crossed for you!

[@RachelWallis-xz6ri]

Thanks so much ❤

[@rowan7929]

Took advise from your last video about letters and hope this will get a YES from an agent. This time I start with the pitch, followed by the blurb. Then how many words it contains and to whom it may appeal. If anything that suits the agents likes, I mention it with a short sentence too.

[@wmichael78]

Does blurb first seem like the emerging standard now? I'm torn on whether to open with traditional book details and comps or open with a hooky blurb then deal with the book business later.

[@michaelakainz9004]

This makes me feel like my query letter is "too standard" ;) Also, they all have quite some writing credentials. Thank you for your videos Alyssa, as always!

[@InvestigatingDavidCrowley]

Thank you for showing more query examples. It is interesting to note the query letters do not have comp titles because that is where my query letter falls short. I do not know of any titles that come close to what I wrote. After watching your video, it is evident comp titles might not be necessary to gain an agent. Thanks again for doing this series. It is very helpful.

[@alexanderfraboulet8535]

I absolutely love your videos!!! I’m not a writer but I find this world so fascinating and I have been binging your videos for weeks now!!! Thank you for making these 🙌🙌🙌

[@TheEmeraldSword86]

I was just hoping that you would make another video like this. I'm almost finished with my book, and have started researching stuff for the query stage. This will help a lot.

[@AlyssaMatesic]

So glad you're finding the series helpful. Congratulations on finishing your book, and best of luck with querying!

[@TheEccentricRaven]

Edward Ashton's query especially impresses me. I thank you for sharing his story both here and in your newsletter ❤

[@robertrdbrooks7658]

Thank You for the education!

[@mikeparnell327]

I think that I will try the posing of a question to create intrigue. I'll let you know when it works.

[@Jeanalexandre_]

Okay! This opened my eyes greatly. I am ashamed on how bad my query letter actually was. I just remade it and omg, I can't believe I've sent the former to agents.

[@danielclarke7036]

Alyssa, could you do a version of this video but with a focus on synopses submit alongside successful queries?

[@JaneRita-un1ms]

ALYSSA; THANK YOU! The fear -may I use that word -? that 1st time writers feel when they begin to write the dreaded query letter can be overwhelming! Any advice for those of us who experience that fear? I almost feel physically sick just thinking about it!

[@kutluer]

Hey Alyssa, thanks for putting all the effort to inform the community, really appreciated! I am living in the Netherlands although aiming to publish in the US. How much of a drawback for the publisher to accept a manuscript of a writer living outside of US? Would I have much less chance for big 5?

[@jordiortega4436]

Extraordinario. 🙂

[@lukesmith1818]

Hula had a great format I'll try emulating. Great strategy to lead with an arresting premise

[@JamesStoddah]

I would be interested to see some successful query letters for non-fiction (maybe memoirs) too.

[@maggiepfob]

Well, dang! All these years I've been slavishly following The Guidelines for specifically how to construct a query letter: greeting, why I chose you, very brief plot blurb, comps, bio, closing - and the entire time I had a feeling it was just totally not the best way to pitch my work, but I followed it anyway because I was sure that if I broke out of the boundaries, agents would roll their eyes, sneer, and toss my query on general principle. Well, I have 12 agents left in my Query Tracker list. Just 12, out of what was originally over 200. What have I got to lose if I kick over the traces and just write my query letter the way I think would work best? (I'll let you know if it works or not.)

[@tehreemsyeda5025]

Hi Alyssa...do literary agents accept submissions from other countries?

[@AlyssaMatesic]

Hi there - yes, you can submit to U.S. agents from another country. I talk a bit more about international publishing in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gWO4ZH58jbmefM0 I hope that helps!

[@tompike6045]

Hi Alyssa, I was jut wondering about something. In a previous video on querying from 2 years ago, you recommended the querying author include a paragraph near the beginning, explaining why they believe the Agent in question would be a good fit. Is that advice now less up to date, or were you only reading a kind of template version that would be sent to every agent? Loving this series of videos btw

[@maggiepfob]

This is what I was told was The Only Acceptable Format, for years and years! Apparently that trend is now So Last Year.

[@edsimnett]

If they don't change the *unbreakable, forever rules* every 18 months or so, how will they generate new content for "one quick trick" youtube videos?

[@maggiepfob]

@@edsimnett 😆 LOL well, I'd believe that if agents had any vested interest in KZbin, anyway! I only know of one agency currently operating that has a KZbin channel, tho.

[@jasonsumma1530]

Hate to say this but seeing these letters makes me discouraged with what I wrote for mine. It doesn't help I have nothing in the published world to help support myself. It be nice for you to show a letter that was successful from a brand new writer who has nothing published in any form.

[@rebeccadey]

Query shark is an interesting blog. It has submitted queries from hopeful authors and an agent breaks down what is strong about them and what is weak. I will tell you that I personally remember one query on there that the agent praised, and a lot of people commented on it being memorable. That writer (Jessica Lewis) went on to get a deal afterward. When she submitted it, though, she was not published at all

[@NicoleOnYTube]

From research, while noting previous works can showcase your knowledge, it’s not a necessity and also not the most important part of the query. One thing I took most from these examples is how far a good pitch can go. Most of these were slightly less formal but what stood out was the pitch and I think that is ultimately where these Authors were super successful! I think the best take away is to really hone in on the pitch part of the query, focus on characters, who they are, what they want, and what is getting in the way and the stakes, and also the tone of the story. Don’t be discouraged because usually the “about me/ bio” section is like 1-2 lines and doesn’t have nearly as much impact as the rest of the query.

[@RachelWallis-xz6ri]

@@rebeccadeylove queryshark. Broke my heart when Janet died 😢

[@rebeccadey]

@@RachelWallis-xz6ri oh man, I didn't know she did!

[@RachelWallis-xz6ri]

@@rebeccadey April 14 this year ☹️

[@soccerguy325]

ARE the three approaches all that different Alyssa? They all jump straight into the plot blurb (as have the other queries you've showed us), and don't tell us much else (genre, comps, etc). They actually seem to follow a very similar, apparently compelling, format.

[@larssjostrom6565]

The first was the most interesting, please more videos like this.

[@Zee-88]

Great letters and advice for established authors but the debut ones (learning from you) need advice to get a foot in the door. These examples clearly refer to established authors 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@smokinggnu6584]

So i had a question on a short vid a few days ago and, thinking about it, it might not garner the same scrutiny as on a regular video, so i decided i'd ask it here as well, so please forgive the multiple questioning: Alright, say you're busy writiing not just one sole alone novel, but something that will consist of at least three novels in a series (and probably more), and while busy with Querying the first book you manage to finish the second one (sequel) to your satisfaction to the point where it could also be queryd, what do you do? Do you attempt to Query both as a one-two combo for a series? Do you just continue with the first one until its accepted and then, after it gets published, push the second one through the same channel? This qustion has been bugging me for a bit now.

[@TheFoxchild]

Well, I don't know for certain, but if I were in that situation (and given the current trajectory of my writing I very well may find myself there in the future), I think I would continue to query only the first book, but once I secured representation from an agent, early on I would let them know about the second book. That way, I can leave it up to them as they attempt to sell my first book whether to bring the second up with publishers or not.

[@abigailslade3824]

What do you mean by comps?

[@tompike6045]

Comparable titles. Similar books in the genre meant to give an idea of how your story might perform in the current marketplace.

[@abigailslade3824]

@@tompike6045 thanks Tom

[@larrybird4398]

❤

[@martymcfly6411]

Im gonna play the reverse pyschology card and tell them they dont have a chance in hell to become my agent lol jk 😂

[@thuroria7631]

Great. Although, the query letter isn't what got them their agents, it's the sample pages and the subsequent full manuscript. The main role of the query letter is to not be offensively bad, and to get the agent to give the sample pages a try. After that point, sample pages are everything.

[@rebeccadey]

And respectfully, with how swamped agents are, none of those subsequent steps would have even been opened without that query letter being enticing enough to be spared a second glance out of the slush pile of literally hundreds of queries a week. Plus, some agents never touch the sample pages. Proof of this can be found from the mouths of agents who run the Bookends Literary KZbin channel. Queries are the key to the gatekeepers.

[@annworthington7253]

@@rebeccadeyI agree. It’s possible my query letters have been offensively bad, but it’s also possible the query did not peak the interest of a swamped literary agent. My concepts were a “maybe” and the agents didn’t have time to consider the story.

[@rebeccadey]

​@@annworthington7253I am wishing you luck and hoping you get through!

[@maggiepfob]

Maybe! Most people's sample pages are never looked at. The agent hits "reject" before they even get halfway through the second paragraph of the query letter. And this is why most people absolutely never get as far as being asked for their full manuscript.

[@lorettaknoelk3475]

Right??? What is the point of all of the rest of it's about that? It seems petty.

[@familycorvette]

First!

[@lorettaknoelk3475]

Okay that first ones sounds boring to be honest