3 life lessons I learned after my dad was killed

My father was murdered. It was sudden, tragic, and violent. In this video, I want to share the life lessons I learned in the aftermath; life-lessons I believe can transfer to you and everyone about all aspects of life, not just the tragic death of a loved one. Here's what I learned...
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TIMESTAMPS:
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0:00 Intro
0:57 Why I made this video
1:32 Trigger Warning: How Dad passed
2:14 Life Lesson 1
5:36 Life Lesson 2
7:19 What I’d be Saddest About for You
8:09 Life Lesson 3
10:47 How Life Lesson 3 translates to Your Life
11:21 Summary of all 3 Life Lessons for You
11:57 Bonus Lesson (expectation vs reality)
12:33 Quick Photo timeline of Dad
13:03 What happened to Dad’s murderer
I remember when I called my uncle... his reaction when I said "Dad was murdered." was just repeating "Murdered?........ Murdered?" It was such disbelief because as cliché as it sounds, my dad didn't have a bad bone in his body... (and to demonstrate that it's cliché, I straight up DO have several bad bones in mine).
It's been years since his passing, and the lasting effects of a violent killing impacting his loved ones have tremendously lasting effects. When we think about how to deal with grief; how to deal with the sudden passing of a loved one, the focus is on the short term.
But now, nearly a decade removed, I know that those ripple effects mean that the answer to "how to process grief" lasts much longer than the days, weeks, and months following death. I'm still learning here and there now, but this video will share the 3 main life lessons dad gifted me, following his passing. It's as much about how to process grief, or how to deal with the loss of a loved one,
I hope you can have a takeaway or a few takeaways from his last lessons to me, press them into service for yourself, and live a more fulfilling and intentional life, because it shouldn't take the death of a beloved family member to appreciate your own life and what you can achieve, on your terms.
I suppose this is also as much about how to live a happy life, or how to live a more fulfilling life.
Let's Get It Together!
#LifeLessons #RIPdad #WhatILearned
DISCLAIMERS:
Some of the links above may have an affiliate code. If you purchase with these links I will receive a small commission at no additional cost to you.
This video was not paid for, in money or in kind, by outside persons or companies. This means that the content of this video and my opinions are 100% my own, and were not reviewed by, nor paid for by any outside entity.

[@tonytonystache]

My father was also murdered and I can’t stop thinking of him every waking moment of my life. This video is so relatable.

[@tauser2]

Man, I'm so sorry. It was angering and frustrating to hear this, even if we don't know each other. I wish you well.

[@MauriceMoves]

Thanks for sharing in my anger, Mike! Years removed, I'm definitely in a different (positive) place now 🙏

[@robertmartin8714]

In 1979 I was 17. My sister (15) was killed by a drunk driver. I experienced deep grief until I was in my mid-40s when a friend who was trained in counselling helped me overcome it. I experienced the things that you listed, and I am sorry that you had to experience the same. However, you were able to move on (if you can ever actually move on) a lot quicker than I did. Good for you, you deserve great credit. Everything you say is true.

[@MauriceMoves]

Thanks for sharing so personally, Robert. The sibling-bond is a very strong one; I think "moving on quicker than you" isn't even a worthy axis to examine grief around, because like you said, we can never *actually* fully move-on. Because of how public it was, I was able to get state-subsidized counselling immediately; you had to wait 30+ years. I'm not trying to play "depression-olympics" here, lol... just really here to say I'm sorry about you experience and to say thanks for being so candid 🙏 Rest in Peace to our loved ones 🙏

[@littledoot1913]

"we are all someone else to someone else" 👀 Really eye-opening

[@ribhavsrivastava187]

Km

[@cinemaocd1752]

Man, this is like a TED talk. It's so well written and delivered. Also it's an experience, hopefully most people will never have and it is wonderful to be able to give this tragically unfairly hard-earned wisdom to others

[@texasbryan]

Thank you for sharing these lessons from this horrible tragedy!

[@therisashow]

While I have never experienced what you’ve gone through, the lessons you shared are immeasurable. Thank you for sharing!

[@Pammellam]

Oh, Maurice, you father was trying to be a nice person to this person. What a horror. I am so sorry for you and your family.

[@korneyez]

Found this video randomly Googling on how to process a murdered father. Two weeks ago, my Dad was stabbed to death too, by my brother. Any death through stabbing is obviously as brutal and terrible as can be imagined, yet it happened at home and there was blood everywhere. It wouldn't take Dexter or a blood splatter analyst to say, wow, this was clearly a struggle. One of the more difficult things for me has been to compartmentalize the obvious terror of the situation and possible resignation to Death. I firmly believe that we're able to complete the thoughts of those closest to us, and Dad and I had a relationship in which we could finish each others sentences. It's unfathomably difficult for me to even leave the house. Sadness has mostly been overridden by anger. I got triggered this morning when I was under the impression that I was inconveniencing my part time job, even though what was said to me was really something that could be applied to anything. IE, a generic statement and not especially meant to make me feel personally attacked, though I felt that I was. Sort of a, "Well, we have a business to run and life will go on without you." My initial reaction was immediate and toxic as fuck, "Well, I'm sorry my Father getting murdered is a real fucking inconvenience to you." Not constructive at all and completely fired from the hip. So here I am looking at videos, seeking an answer I know I'll never find. Thank you for taking the time to create this video, and I'm sorry that you had to experience something similar. It is unfathomably terrible.

[@xXPazifistaXx]

My little brother died pretty much exactly 4 weeks ago. Havent been the same ever since. He was just 20 years old and it was as sudden as someone could die. He was at a party and around 5am just when he was about to leave he started having seizures and died of organic failure. He had no prior sicknesses or took any medication. So far it seems like he was poisoned but we dont know for sure now. I can 100% confirm that you forget about a huge lot of bs and you get a whole other skill which is setting priorities. Also, you cant take the sadness from your/my brothers loved ones. You can only grieve together, but you have to find your own way of dealing with it.

[@DarkMuj]

Something similar happened to me. You will heal and smile again one day, but life will never be the same. Life will go on though. Stay strong.

[@whatselledone]

I'm going through a huge life changing event and this video feels so poignant. I just can't thank you for creating something so damn vulnerable. I know I'll be revisiting it a lot in the upcoming weeks.

[@MauriceMoves]

Thanks for watching, Karat Topless 🙏 I hope you find time for some "selfish" thought to be able to define for yourself, what your real needs are to cross this huge bridge and don't fall into the trap of only being there for others. 💪

[@MikeDancy]

Sorry for your loss. My Grandfather was murdered and I had to go through the whole DNA process with my Dad to identify the body.. what a nightmare. I came out stronger though, much like yourself. I'm also a flashlight guy :) subbed.

[@6uoy]

The wave of support receding left a huge emptiness in me, making me feel like I had another wound to heal from. Thanks for sharing!

[@thissunchild]

Dear Maurice. I don't know how I fell upon your channel, but I did, and I feel all the richer for it, listening to your insights. I have subsequently subscribed. I'm *_truly_* sorry to hear about your father.😔❤

[@MarcosRodz]

Hey man, I'm so sorry about your dad. My father has passed recently and have experienced similar feelings and realizations, thank you for putting it down so succinctly.

[@justadudeintheworldman.120]

A little late to this video but I’ve been binging your channel. I’m sorry to hear about your Dad. The fact that he was giving the guy a break by not reporting it pisses me off even more. As the years go by and I hear stories like this, I honestly believe people who commit such crimes should be dealt with the same way as the crime they committed. I also believe it should come from an afflicted family Member who is willing to do it. I’m not a religious type but I do think an eye for an eye is the most just way to go about it. Anyway, I’ll keep watching your channel and I’m sorry about your Dad. He was a good man I’m sure.

[@teddygingerbear1372]

Great video on lessons learned from grief and loss. I only watched this after seeing KZbin July 30, 2023 video mention as I only began following you about 6 months ago. I really identified with similar feelings after the loss of my son at age 20. While he was not murdered tragically like your father, his diagnosis of a rare brain cancer ( 1 of 22 cases worldwide), 16 months of grueling treatments and then ultimate death, was overwhelming and tragic just the same. In the immediate aftermath, friends, family, neighbors and my son’s friends overwhelmed us with love, food, flowers and support but rapidly disappeared as quickly as they appeared. The deep loneliness and pain left our family at the height of our grief and loss. You excellent explanation of lessons learned are incredibly similar to my own healing and recovery to grow resilient and self reliant to live in peace. Best of life to you going forward!

[@ShinGucci]

Thank you for sharing such a personal story with us. Everything you've said in this video is so insighful and helpful. Everyone should watch this!

[@mtwhatley3253]

Never ever try to settle an auto accident outside of police and ins. I believe that’s a profound lesson. Condolences for the loss of your dad….

[@maximilianvonhulewicz9047]

sorry Maurice! Your dad would be proud of you

[@TheESMAT07]

Here I am watching your video two years later. An honest and deep insight. Makes me to think what life is all about..

[@normafernan1755]

Thank you for being candid & objective amidst grief.

[@Dirtyknives007]

I'm glad you decided to share your thoughts and feelings on this.

[@popeyerubi1981]

I’m sorry for your loss. And thank you for sharing the lessons you learned.

[@MamO-eom]

Sorry for your loss man, thank you for sharing and i hope you get to accomplish what ever you want from life

[@shayparanihi]

I just want to thank you for sharing and I am deeply sorry for the loss of your papa/dad. You've offered so much value all who've viewed and I really appreciate the lessons. Thank you so much for sharing!

[@huddersfieldtextile8469]

thank you for sharing this bro, sending you love.

[@Flimflamed]

I needed to hear this. Thank you!

[@craigsbully]

MAN! So sorry to hear that you had to go through something like that. thank you fo sharing.

[@Bobman808]

Wow - incredibly moving stuff! Very brave sharing this experience on YT!!

[@noralockspeed]

Stumbled upon your channel and can’t help but admire your insight and strength. Loss, whatever kind is tough and at times paralyzing. To have the clarity to acknowledge the lessons to be learned from it and the maturity to recognize the healing process is admirable. I wish you peace, continued strength and much happiness in your future. Thank you for sharing such an intimate experience with us. It’s done my heart good to see the evolution after such tragedy. All the best. 😔

[@cyberridz]

I'm sorry for your loss Bro. I lost my mum too a few years back and this really reminded me of what I had to go through during that time. Looking back it has taught me some very important lessons. I now think about life differently and know the difference between the things I can change and the things that I can't and it has made me a stronger person. Thank you for sharing this video.

[@Kevin-eb6dw]

Powerful words, my friend.. Thank you sharing your story with us!

[@playsaxnow3391]

Sorry about your loss. I absolutely loved your video, especially the last point about being aware of what you want and need and being able to communicate it effectively to the loved ones around you. I really resonated with that one. I lost 2 brothers to suicide and only now am I able to heal and truly move on. Thank-you for your message of hope and practical advice.

[@NMeyer0]

So sorry I just came across your video as I'm a novice watch enthusiast. I saw your review of the watch in honour of your dad and it choked me up. All the best from Ontario. Great videos!

[@Literarycat8]

Yo, dude. I was going through your video list and this was a surprise. Thank you for sharing--for letting us in on the rawness of the wound. Thank you for sharing your insights and reflections. I am sorry for the loss of your father. I pray he is at peace now. You are strong for sharing such a personal story, and we appreciate that. Wash, rinse, and repeat was funny, but it is oh, so true; but always, always begin with a bag of apples. Stay strong, brother.

[@marantz1]

This was a beautiful video. Thank you for making it.

[@jiwon402]

I am so deeply sorry, for a lack of better words. Thank you for your video, I am so grateful because it feels like what I need to hear as I have also gone through an unutterably traumatic tragic loss as well. You helped me to open my eyes to hope of strength through this hardship of a life.

[@jonmarshall1502]

Dude, I’m subscribed just on the basis of this video. Sorry for your loss, but many words of wisdom came from you. Thank you.

[@Hexe.Mueller]

Thank you for sharing. You hit the point. The wave that hits you and helps you not to fall is a very good picture for that. I lost my father 10 years ago. And it hurts still. We have to Deal with. One thaugt that helps: nobody has no losses during his live. All the best for you.

[@deanbenitez]

Really deep life lessons in such calming delivery and clarity all over. You showed us both your healed wounds and the better version of yourself you’ve molded into. Thank you, Maurice. Keep spreading that positive energy into the world, may the Universe blesses you.

[@suekelly3744]

You are an exceptional human😇Thank you for this & of course I am so sorry for your father’s loss. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@chanacohen1231]

Sorry to hear of your loss. Your father has helped you from above in guidance. Your thoughts are very clear and give way to amother avenue of thinking. Thanks for sharing in your journey.

[@leonardmead3628]

I know this is late but I’m came to this video after watching the watch video you made about the Seiko you selected to fit the memories of your father, beautiful video. I’m so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insights on this. Hope you are doing well.

[@bsyh1]

Thank you so much for this valuable video❤

[@eyegun]

Maurice, thank you for this video. You shared your incredible insight so clearly and concisely. This is by far the most valuable video I have ever seen on KZbin in so many ways. I came across you because of your travel kit videos and noticed this one was very different and it might be helpful to me for other reasons so I watched it. Wish I knew this info years ago. Spot on in every way.

[@jesusolvera8108]

Thank you for being brave and sharing this. Definitely great tips. Believe it or not, it's connected to your other videos. Always about back to basics. Lost my best friend recently, and everything you said is helping tremendously. Thank you Maurice, and wishing you all the health, wealth and success always.

[@Morgalodon]

Thank you for this. I watch a lot of travel channels(Kara and Nate, Travel Beans, Sailing La Vagabond, etc) but of course packing efficiently is part of that. So, I watched several of your videos...and well...never expected to end up here. Lost my brother(July 4th 2022) and my grief is beyond overwhelming, but also caused me to become hyper focused on what's important in life. I lived in Delaware for nearly 30+ years and hardly traveled outside it's small borders. Switched my major from Engineering to Marine Biology. Acquired a travel miles credit card. I've lived too safe a life for too long. Things must change. So again, thank you. It wasn't your intention to motivate me more, but considering I was interested in your content before and subscribed then watched this video...just felt appropriate to leave a comment. Good luck and may your life be full and happy!

[@mindyyoungman36]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom gained from this experience it’s a good reminder to pay attention to what really matters❤

[@triccie3]

Just started following you and saw this post. I’m sorry for your loss and pain but I appreciate this video very much. It helped me understand my loss from long ago. Thank you for sharing your lessons.

[@dawnmcelligott1334]

Thank you for sharing your experience and your insights. Those are very valuable and helpful.

[@boredmechanic2019]

Thank you for sharing. The loss ; pain ; and lots of heavy life experiences you've been. You are a true inspiration. Keep safe. More power to your channel. ❤ 🇨🇦

[@MauriceMoves]

Thanks YOU for this comment, Bored Mechanic 🙏 🇨🇦💪

[@JadenHercules]

Whoa, very well done video. You've earned a new subscriber. Such a great topic, thank you.

[@gradientanalog]

You are very articulate and emotionally intelligent.. thanks for being genuine and vulnerable. Def took some good lessons away from this 🤝

[@JFHoupert]

Thank you for sharing

[@gwalker8257]

Wow! Sad story. Great insight

[@abletochangeone]

Thank you for this....

[@angelostevengeronimourruti340]

Thanks for this content

[@HershelPeppers]

Thank you for sharing.

[@tubeysr]

I have to work on the 3rd one more. Thanks a lot, and much love ❤️

[@SailorSwiftStyle]

Thanks 🙏 for the video!

[@huddersfieldtextile8469]

going to give my dad a hug. thank u

[@seyxray]

"we are all someone else to someone else" damn

[@Espi68One]

I felt the same way when I lost my employment last year, November 2021, due to the covid mandates, all my "co-workers??", 'let me know if you need anything, let's get together for lunch, let me know if you need to talk' and low and behold, all that disappeared, unanswered emails, unanswered text messages, I was so upset, I just changed my number and was done with it. After a year, now, yes, the job lost was mine and mine to own, I just hated the fact that after 10 years at the job, all those relationships ended.

[@mariacruz8946]

Hi 👋love your videos. Much love 💘

[@Rleetuber]

Thank you.

[@suzannecarrier287]

very good video. thank you.

[@evalee8097]

I’m so sorry for your loss. May you experience the love of Jesus for he is the only one that can sustain you. God’s blessings to you and your family.

[@zyxvwu]

Much love and respects.

[@Ubiquitous_1]

Stumbled on your channel cuz you piqued my interest with the "best sling bag for organization freaks"... I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad in such a senseless, horrible way. I'm glad that at the very least, the killer was caught and doing time. No words can console or fix what's already happened but thank you for sharing such a deeply personal story and journey. Sending you and your family positive and peaceful vibes. 🙏

[@aramyth]

@mauricemoves it's always okay to share your pain and experience. I'm glad you did. Our friends not knowing what to say or do has to do with the fact that we don't teach people how to deal with death. We are taught it's unacceptable to feel sad so we shouldn't. Therefore, most people turn a blind eye and don't ever want to think about death or talk about it. As for your bonus lesson, I don't think it's so much as "not a day goes by that we don't think of x person" but that we are suddenly made very aware that this person isn't here anymore. You realize that your parent, especially, is with you somehow. It's a weird feeling.

[@Themis33]

You've always impressed me. You have always stood out from other KZbinrs. But this video is the next level. I would love to have a coffee with you. I don't know what career you have now but you should do a degree in psychology and be a psychologist. You're so bright and knowledgeable. Your parents will be so proud of you and the man you are. Thank goodness he gets deported on release. Love to you and Canada from UK. 😊

[@haydenkeys6300]

For 🎉❤😂 I k😢l😢😢😊😮😂😅😂😅😂 🎉of 😂😅😂😂😅😅😅😂😂😅

[@mecsoin2208]

Thanks a lot

[@arielspalter7425]

This is terrible, sorry for your loss 😢 did this happen in Toronto??

[@maz3808]

I just watched GeoWizard video locating the photo you shared with him your dad's photo in Taiwan. Sorry for your lose. What happened to the killer? Did he get arrested and sent to jail?

[@Ghoshrock]

My father was murdered by his by brother' family. I agree with you

[@LarryMoore-hc4tk]

Yes, losing someone close - whether suddenly, as with my first wife, or after a long decline, more recently, put me places that I needed help. I thank trained bereavement professionals for their wisdom and advice.

[@jimmyrios6815]

🙏🏻

[@derekbender]

Emotional whiplash.

[@dplj4428]

Be there.

[@tinarobertson1012]

Communicating Hope

[@amybell1375]

This was such a great reflection on a personal + private tragedy. I found myself relating to your learned lessons but my tragedy wasn’t a loved one murdered… it was fleeing a DV marriage with 7 kids under 10 in my care.

[@aligator8031]

I want to hug you

[@allsouls5997]

Its sad that some believe and would murder to teach a lesson.

[@goodnight3663]

did the guy who killed him get caught

[@OzMan9989]

Dude, that is messed up. That is capital punishment territory for the perp if there ever was in my mind - but I guess the citizens of Canada disagree. Tough to carry that baggage around. Sounds like you have a healthy attitude.

[@MauriceMoves]

Thanks for watching, Brikrat 🙏 I've flipped-flopped on my thoughts of capital punishment, because at my most angry period, because as messed up as it is to admit... if I wasn't personally the one to carry out the capital punishment, it just didn't feel vindicating. Is the death penalty carried out where you live?

[@DavidHernandez-vu5xd]

You should go get some get back for your dad homie

[@jb-je9lk]

Thank you.