3 Things: 50/50 in a Marriage, Will Planning with a Partner, and a BLINDSIDED Man

[@beeblu5043]

A guy that I was dating (a rapper whom is pretty well known) told me years ago that a woman should never go half with a man. His exact words were, “if you can go half, you might as well just ditch the guy and pay the whole thing by yourself and save yourself the stress.”

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

He's right and he could afford to be.

[@dianaprince3176]

He isn’t wrong!!!

[@robynr3130]

"...and save yourself the stress.” Yes and paying 50% of your shared costs means you are *paying for the privilege of being stressed out by a man!*

[@TheePrincessBrat]

Will he put that in a song tho? lol

[@intentionalgreatness]

Facts. Save yourself the stress and obligation.

[@dianaprince3176]

Lawyer here. The first woman needs to clean out the joint bank account and use the money for deposits snd rent on a new apt. Then, leave with the child while he’s at work. Leave divorce papers on the kitchen table with your key. Immediately petition for child support. If he makes $220K, you’ll get reasonable child support. Get away from him.

[@Princetonian4eva]

Wait, you’re a lawyer and telling someone to drain a joint account? Don’t judges look VERY poorly upon people who do this? Also, didn’t she say they don’t have combined finances or did I miss something?

[@chorizoramen93]

NO, married assets are shared assets. If she was on inpaid maternity leave, sole caregiver of the child with a financially abusive husband, i doubt bery seriously he would be upset with the party looking out for their best interests. @@Princetonian4eva

[@Aquariuswonder86]

@@Princetonian4evaI’m assuming this is off the record advice.

[@hybridinfodesk409]

​. It's legal, a joint bank account is equal share. Whomever gets to it first. Great advice.

[@lalalovengun]

They don’t have a joint bank account

[@Egh0127]

So you're telling me that man makes 23,000 per month and can't pay 2.6k a month by himself? He deliberately hates you and wants to make u have a hard life and humiliate you. Leave him now.

[@labelledujour5855]

More like yesterday sis.

[@jayogee913]

And this is why you don't have kids with a man who treats you like this. He even showed his real self to her before she had the baby! What was she expecting?? You want a kid from me? Okay, dude. Then I want a HOUSE, a CAR, a BRIDE PAYMENT, and a HUGE MONTHLY ALLOWANCE from you! THEN I'll think about it, lol!

[@malinasworld]

These marriages look like slavery. Hell they probably meet the criteria too. I’m scared 💀

[@happygolucky9004]

So since the baby half his genetic material I would charge him womb rent. It would be the cost of a surrogate. Then charge him for infant care for (24/7) and then breast milk. That would definitely come to more than half the rent so actually he owes her money. In all seriousness though, she's a little dumb for marrying such a cheap man. I agree that this man probably hates women. I wonder if he demanded a prenup.

[@silververnallbells191]

@@malinasworld Don't be scared just don't get married & don't cohabitate.

[@maryblock636]

In the second story, it's very telling that when she was making 3x his salary, leaving 90% in the will to each other was great. But as soon as he started making 2x more than HER, he changes his will to essentially cut her out. And to top it off, does it in secret! Unbelievable!

[@blasiankiki7831]

I’ve been married 12 years and have never shared a joint account that housed my money we only use one to pay bills. Women should never put men in control of their finances.

[@saturdayschild8535]

Which is illegal if she is the spouse.

[@madarawijerathne276]

Last story gf finally finished her brain development and went 😂😂

[@BurbNBougie]

You shole right

[@Veracityseeker7]

Bottom line, the first husband just does not value women and children. To act like giving birth to your progeny, is nothing; to not put her on a pedestal, and make her comfortable as possible as she heals and bonds with the baby is grounds for divorce. This is why I believe women need to just stop having these men's kids for a while.

[@saturdayschild8535]

It’s what they did in Ancient Rome. The state started begging women (and paying) to have children and most still refused. There is nothing new under the sun except the internet.

[@Egg_Apron]

A husband who can't be bothered to show love and care to his wife and newborn baby deserves neither.

[@wrappedaroundmyfinger]

Modern males want women to get married to this? She’s better off as a a single mother.

[@TheRacqgrl769]

Typical male. My last ex kept saying "I'm sorry I made you hate me". I told him that I was indifferent to him and that hate would mean that I cared. He was quite upset about it. I said oh well, kept it moving. He tried calling me from different numbers and have males he knows try to contact me. All blocked and deleted. Our breakup was a "surprise" to him, too. One would think, since they're supposed to be so smart, that they'd read these Reddit posts and learn something. Nope, there's nothing wrong with what they do, despite them living in a FAFO loop.

[@heneverforesakesme4038]

I am USING THIS next time....spot on... I told him that I was indifferent to him, and that hate would mean that I cared.

[@Uke2405]

​@heneverforesakesme4038 yes indifference is worse. Like you dont care. There is an element of hate when you care

[@BlackRaven000]

A​ word of warning (from experience, unfortunately!): some m*n get unhinged beyond measure if told something like that. Be indifferent, but do not tell them that. They might think, "Well, b*tch, I'll make you care, let's see how you indifferent you are after I do **insert deranged activity here**." Please be cautious!

[@sminno]

I also would have said "I see you are upset by what I said. So that means NOW YOU REALLY CARE NOW THAT WE ARE OVER. Interesting."

[@no_peace]

They read the posts and learn how to be worse

[@joeshmoe0136]

If only they could go 50/50 on the pregnancy and labour. I bet he isn't going 50/50 on childcare and night times

[@mimi42428]

This comment needs more upvotes

[@luthorforpresident9353]

They never do, yet women will have a 2nd, 3rd, even 4th baby by them. Most women who live w/ bfs or husbands pay half the bills. I'd rather live alone than be a mule just 4 a ring. I'll keep buying my own rings and not cooking, cleaning, and risking my life having babies.

[@ayamempress1579]

Story 3... "i dont know why she left" proceeds to list all the fxck shxt he did to make her leave Isn't it crazy that when she acted in the stereotypical way men expect women to be (because they don't see us as people) he was at his happiest thinking that was the relationship working?!

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

First story: WTH?! Unpaid is unpaid! She needs to file for divorce don’t buy a house! He’s a glorified roommate! He acts like she created the baby alone and he will expect her to reimburse him once she returns to work! Charge him for carrying the child since conception, childcare, cooking, cleaning and other domestic labor. Do not have another child. Get that spousal and child support girl! All the XYs are raggedy and foul in all three stories! They deserve divorces.

[@sg5720]

This is ONE of the “NOTHINGS” men say women divorce them over. 🥴🤦🏽

[@malinasworld]

I think the problem is that he *doesn’t* think she created the baby alone. He thinks his ejaculating in her was 50% of the work and they’re even when she’s the one who grew that baby out of her own flesh, took the risks and life long tolls of pregnancy and birth, lost out on wages and career progression to give him a child.

[@christine-my3gd]

Why do we always hear that men want to be providers? I rarely see them

[@eb11a17]

Most men do not want to be providers financially. Most want to only provide the rules for women's behaviors inside and outside of the relationship. Paying the costs to be the boss. Like the costs to them is their appendage & rights to say that he is "your man". The thing is, d**k is free and abundant to those who want it. And just because a woman may say, "That's my man," doesn't mean he doesn't say the opposite when she isn't in earshot.

[@talkingtochapri]

​@@rosewatersweetteawith that logic, males are followers 😂 lastly, i have never seen males providing even when they are dating a broke woman.

[@heyyourebeautiful3867]

​@@rosewatersweettea A nursing mom is still required to pay bills. How is someone "leading with their" career if she is at home with the baby. If men were really providers they would do it at all times.

[@MsOrganicBlack]

​@missede96 Please enlighten us on the women who "lead with their career" in the posts in this video? Maybe you should stop regurgitating manosphere talking points and actually address the topics being discussed. Fool

[@constancep7632]

​@missede96 It's probably a cultural thing, but I don't think that's true at all in North America. If you talk to a man about providing, he'll call you a gold digger and say "yOu WoMeN wAnTeD eQuAlItY, nOw DeAl WiTh It," completely ignoring the fact what's equal is rarely equitable. If it's not equitable, we're still being taken advantage of.

[@Veracityseeker7]

Last guy, is a verbal abuser and truly expected her to just put up with it. He's entitled, narcissistic, and has zero emotional intelligence. God bless her for leaving.

[@Trinitytruth7]

This story strengthens the old saying, “Men think with their pockets and women think with their hearts.” What an abhorrent, disgustingly vile thing to do to someone you think loves you and you trust in.

[@q.t.gamingfamily]

We need to stop that though. I used to do that until marriage. I was thrusted into provider role when going back to school caused me to make 3-4x my(ex) husband's income. When I finally started making moves, I was thinking with my pockets too.

[@beeblu5043]

The guy who said that his girlfriend left without warning, is pretty much saying that he wants to verbally and mentally abuse his girlfriend without repercussion. I honestly think that he wants to make up with her just to be the one to actually break it off, just like a true narcissist.😢

[@Tracy_555]

She needs to get a divorce. He will be paying her enough money in alimony and child support and she can buy her own home w that money! She will also get a break while the child is in the father’s home.

[@jayogee913]

This guy used this woman to get children out of her. He likely doesn't care what happens to her once he gets what he wants from her. Woof, rough spot to be in.

[@islandgirl8067]

Why would buying things for his own child require an “allowance” for baby things? He’s treating her like an employee, not a wife. The man in the 2nd story is trying to gaslight her by saying she is “money crazed.” If he died without her finding the will she would have been blind sided. He told his girlfriend that she was “boring & unattractive” & wonders why she left him? 🙄

[@morighani]

to say that we women are tired of this foolishness is an understatement

[@valeriaswanne]

I do consider myself an employee in the house and bill my man for it. That income then qualifies me to apply for benefits. The income cutoff for my household size (5) is $336/mo, which is just enough to cover my auto-draft bills.

[@kendriahudson4747]

Aaaannnnd things like this are why divorce is more beneficial to women than marriage. If there was a check list on how marriage doesn’t benefit women, this arrangement would check 97% of the list.

[@misslola007]

When that switch up happens and you no longer see your husband the same way, its not recoverable. Its over. That woman will never even fight over petty stuff. Its the best feeling. 😊

[@kated3165]

50/50 isn't supposed to mean literal 50% for each partner. It should mean that both partners share expenses according to what is financially reasonable and equitable for their individual salary. If a partner earns 5x more then their spouse and wants a house that is well above their partner's means, the higher salaried partner needs to be willing to allow the other person to only pay for what they can comfortably afford... otherwise its just one person forcing the other to be bled dry!

[@no_peace]

And it means you do half the home, health and social management as well

[@cryptoqueen981]

Don't forget ladies ..we gotta give up the cooch for 50/50; No SUH

[@kated3165]

@@no_peace Yes, exactly! One person earning much more doesn't mean they do little home chores. Everyone's time is equally valuable.

[@jsChelimo]

you can best believe that men will interpret it in a way that favors them most

[@kated3165]

@@jsChelimo Which is why women need to be made aware of what fairness actually is!

[@ButterflyBree]

The first two stories are financial and mental abuse. These males don't like or value their wives/girlfriends. It's extremely callous to expect a woman who doesn't have income to contribute financially to the household. Especially after she had a baby.

[@maisanascimento5441]

​@@oihcam22 I guess you are projecting your lack of knowledge

[@tam6011]

​@oihcam22 it's abuse because their contributions is more than half their income and it doesn't leave anything for retirement. If they want to stay then they will need to skill up. However, to skill up they have children so it's not going to happen with something lacking in the home and that's not going to flu in that relationship

[@temperance2580]

It is incredibly cruel. Jeez

[@no_peace]

​@@oihcam22 they're exploiting women who make less

[@Panthabear27]

​@oihcam22 the second story is definitely financial abuse, lack of integrity and deceitful. In the advent of her death this male will profit 100%, never have to move and life continues without issue. If he dies she get 60 % . She gets 50% of said property that she paid for and 10% of his property. His sister get 30% , his mother 10%. She'll have to move because she literally has to guve the sister and the mother 40% of the property after is death, but he gets 100%. Plus doing this change with out her imput and had the audacity call her money hungry. How is this not abusive. Usery is abuse?

[@constancep7632]

Everyone, but especially men, need to learn the difference between equality and equity. 50/50 is ONLY fair if incomes are similar and both do their share of household chores. If she makes 20% of the household income, she should pay 20% of the expenses. While she's making 0%, she should be paying 0%. Period.

[@fburnsDubstepEnderFox]

Your comment needs more upvotes because this is so true! 💯

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

👍🏾

[@malinasworld]

But but but she’s an independent woman who pays half so she can be an equal in the relationship! Ugh. This is what I fear for all my girlfriends who think they can buy their way into equality.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

It's still not equitable when she pays while they have a child or children. She will be postpartum for 7 years for each birth...

[@melchiorlise2466]

This is men's way of making us pay for wanting to have human rights. He probably thinks it's only fair she lef a miserable life for not wanting to be a slave

[@nikicarrie4071]

Look at her husband providing and protecting. Look how selfish they are

[@mjackson3109]

Story 1: Definitely financial abuse. The only way she should even try to stay married to this man would be if they buy a home based upon HER income not his. 30% of $280,000 is $84,000/12 = $7000 per month which he could comfortably afford. 30% of the wife’s income of $68,000 is $20,400/12 = 1700. A $7000 mortgage divided by 2 would be $3500. This would put her in the hole by $1800 per month. This is a lose/lose for her.

[@gymeni]

She shouldn’t even try to stay married to him. He doesn’t love her. He clearly views marriage as a financial contract (I can’t really argue that) and his wife as a financial asset or liability.

[@mjackson3109]

@@gymeni Absolutely she shouldn't.

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

​@oihcam22 many different forms of abuse. It's not equitable and traps her. Add one more to the list of ways

[@kendriahudson4747]

@@oihcam22this is definitely financial abuse. He’s intentionally draining her resources and trapping her in a marriage. If she made as much as him he would either have to be equitable or risk her walking away and getting the house and child support.

[@ogolden8315]

@@oihcam22That’s financial abuse, especially with a child involved. He makes 4x more than her, but expects he to pay 50%. That’s ridiculous. Like the comments said…. Start charging for stuff (sex, housekeeping, childrearing, etc).

[@mistyvance4544]

Immediately stop contributing and leave if you can to your family. File for divorce. He is abusive. Sometimes women with small children cannot recognize abuse because of all the bonding hormones. Get out!

[@Knoboddie]

I absolutely hate when these dudes pull the Uno reverse. That man is very clearly money hungry seeing that when she was making a lot of money they somehow started having conversations about wills as soon as he started making more money 10% for her. Liars accuse you of lying. Cheaters accuse you of cheating. There are exceptions to every rule but it is what it is.

[@helena3631]

Working at my job many women are living like this being married working up until their due date with a husband .. these women love to bring up they married but thier husband split everything down to the penny it’s insanity….

[@almadilworth6571]

That last guy should have known better. If they were in a relationship for 11 years and they're both 26, it means they started dating when they were 15. Let that sink in. Then he shows his true colors in that last fight that they had? She realized that all she's ever known was his sucky-butt ways and that she could do better... even if he begged she's NEVER coming back! Even if he found a foolproof, one hundred percent guaranteed plan to get her back and used it; it wouldn't work because she's realized that she's outgrown him!

[@AriesLaZuriUhuru]

0:22 Mistake #1 marrying and then procreating with a man that expected her to go 50/50.

[@beeblu5043]

Period! It never ends well for the woman and now, it’s essentially too late.

[@creolenola]

Story 2: Change your will first then leave him.

[@eveharris30]

This reminds me of Gabrielle Union. Living paycheck to paycheck while married to a millionaire.

[@mikochild2]

They are always happiest when they get everything they want and give us none of what we want. They are always happiest when we check out.

[@shaolinqueen3684]

Listen this is why it's better to live on your own, you pay all the bills without the headaches and you are in sole full control of your home.

[@intentionalgreatness]

I saw a guy say somethin like "you see 3 versions of a man..who he is in dating, who he is when you have a baby and who he is as a husband." Sounds about wise to me.

[@MsMookalate]

13:59 he told her he didn’t want her and she moved accordingly.

[@May-nt3ow]

"She started cleaning again..." Well, we know what you valued

[@ninabeena83]

100% they only want 50/50 when they have to come out of pocket. I paid literally all the household bills except the occasional groceries (that he specifically wanted, for which he got the money from mommy) while I was with my ex husband, which I justified by the fact that he couldn’t legally work here at the time (from another country). But as soon as he got his permanent residence approved and was working, he wanted to split everything down the middle - despite the fact that I was unemployed at the time, and then working a temp job (after having moved out of state and away from him for a year for a job opportunity that he refused to accompany me for). Key word is definitely ex

[@silververnallbells191]

"couldn't legally work here" -Do you know how many men get paid in cash "under the table". He was just making excuses.

[@kaleidojess]

Sometime, dudes are so odd. He literally told his ex that he didn't find her attractive and that she was boring. She had a good reason to leave him.

[@Panthabear27]

2nd story: Hmm, she needs to change her will to reflect the same level of disrespect.

[@wolfsisterhowls]

And then plan her EXIT. This is just the tip of the terrible iceberg, it's not enough to tit for tat, she also needs to LEAVE.

[@PandoraBear357]

He's terrible. Talking about not lowering living standards when he was looking at losing her higher income, but turning around and expecting her to give up their standard of living now that he's the one making more. She needs to get rid of him. He's the one who was using her, and now he values her less because she's worth less monetarily. That's not love.

[@alwaysvictorioushighlyfavo6065]

There a wise person that once said when a man tells you something BELIEVE THEM!!

[@q.t.gamingfamily]

1st story: this sounds like an American married a foreigner. Divorce him but don't expect any extra money outside of the money split during the divorce. He'd likely go home. The baby already has a passport so he might take the child with him. She has lots more to consider, especially if he's M.East. (I suspect he is). She really messed up marrying this guy. His goal is to competition deplete her savings. He needs her 100% dependent on him. He's hellbent on making that happen. Story 2: my husband would be divorced and I'd sue for my fair share in the divorce and just get it now. I would change my will and leave my family everything and him nothing. I must certainly would divorce him because the lie was too big. Yet, the wife is the one who will be stuck with his final expenses while sister is living fat off his money and his wife sits thousands in debt. How is that money crazed to NOT want to be in thousands of debt when the money is right there? I'd leave him and call it a day. Story 3: leave her alone. You have fubar. Sir, once she has gone this far as to leave and you came home to an empty house, she was done. Just leave her alone. As someone who left a long term relationship, a 23 year marriage, she thought long and hard and has decided she was done. Leave her alone and accept it.

[@briskettacos]

I got "Middle Eastern man" vibes from this guy too

[@Xena395]

So I’m supposed to allowed myself to be cut out, push a human out of me. Still expects to pay half, yeah these men can carry their own children.

[@michellepalmer1160]

Story 1 she shoukld just stop paying half of rent and utilities. Ask him if he went half on carrying the baby.. if he divorce you you get cs.. do not have another child do not buy a home.. story 2. She need to change her will in secret and sell the house or require him to pay for all the bills in the home since its going to his sister..it was a dishonest move..

[@KayAnn2121]

He’s clearly trying to drain her savings so that she doesn’t have the means to leave. That is the plan….

[@laceyl5682]

My jaw is on the floor 12 seconds in. I literally cannot. She's at home from birthing HIS child and he wants rent money. I am shooketh.

[@t.f.6297]

She needs to go to a lawyer and learn the laws of the state. A lot of these men already know the divorce laws which is why they want the 50:50 split so should they get a divorce they can document that they had this type of agreement before and after they got married. Ladies please start treating marriage like a legal contract because its is, go to a lawyer before you say yes to the engagement.

[@tiffmoore8831]

The way I paused and out loudly yelled " Girl, what" for the first story-- not him making 200k and not wanting to cover the rent of your wife who housed, incubated and pushed out their spawn. What do you mean 50/50 .....I can't even

[@Diyoza781]

I'm not carrying any man children and I'm good not being married. Women that wants marriage and children should required the man to give them a 6 figure income before the first child is birth and every year forward he should continue that payment.

[@tashibalampkin8555]

First story: She got scammed. She gave this man a child. She is still healing and this man still wants her pay bills. Hell no to all of this.

[@talenciabonner7655]

She messed up having a baby with him. She messed up starting off going 50/50. He sounds like a user. She needs to divorce at this point because he won't change

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

She should divorce him and get 50/50 of everything. There, fixed it.

[@lavonnewr]

S2, He wanted to make sure HE didn't have to downgrade, but didn't give a shit about her.

[@heneverforesakesme4038]

yep...and used her financial resources, everything was awesome when she made the MAJORITY of the money and did that for a long while, but as soon as there is a strain on the economics, she couldn't control, he completely does a 180. The switch is REAL in both stories. I hope that lady sells her half of the penthouse, and he has to buy it from her, hopefully she takes that money and build up her business again, if it's possible and she keeps it moving.

[@queenlj12jax97]

I am so glad that the girlfriend of the "blindsided" man checked out mentally, emotionally, and then physically. From the way Blindsided described their relationship, he's so used to chipping away at his girlfriend, he had no clue as to the impact it was having. He has told her in every way he could that he was bored and not interested in her anymore, yet he expected her to stick around and take more indifference and abuse???!!! Did it ever occur to him that she could be bored with him as well? Besides that, he never mentioned anything HE tried to do to work on the relationship except complain about it. He deserves to be without her and I hope she never goes back to him. Problem solved.

[@GoddessJerri]

Women need to stop marrying men that don’t even like them. This man doesn’t like her let alone love her (first and second story). The last story reminds me of myself. I left my ex without telling him and he came home to all of my things gone. He swears he was blindsided but he wasn’t. 😂

[@TheePrincessBrat]

I already side-eyed her family for okay-ing that nonsense in the first place. Then you got them shaming her about the will. If they’re so loving and well off, why did she have a survival mindset at 16?? Something is off

[@TheePrincessBrat]

She was fine to sleep with. Fine to live with. You know you’re older than her and will probably go first. All that is only worth 10%. Took what was left of her 20s and the entirety of her 30s for this nonsense. I would like to know if he’s had “unwavering love” for her too It is sooo effed up that he was gonna blindside her with that *WHILE* she’s already grieving his loss. I’m sure he knows how much she loves him. Just terrible I really wanna hear how they met and their usual interactions. I feel like he has probably been very sneaky about mistreating her over the years. Looking back, she might see a lot now that she isn’t seeing him with rose-colored glasses. How much do you wanna bet, he has always resented her for her success and independence?

[@TheePrincessBrat]

Last story: he’s abusive end of. He knows she cares about her looks and he attacked that immediately. He knew what he was doing

[@TheePrincessBrat]

@@wolfsisterhowls fortunately, I don’t think they have any kids in that particular story. She should research some charities she’d like to leave her money too or give more to friends/family. He shouldn’t be left a single cent. What an AH

[@talenciabonner7655]

So he basically tricked her. So if he died before her she would have gotten the shock of her life. Honestly I'd break it off

[@TheFelicia82]

On the second story, I learned from Reddit that they talked about marriage in 2015 but she wanted a prenup because of her business. He suggested just doing ceremonial rings, not legally getting married, and doing wills bc it seemed more romantic. I can’t help but think he realized even then that he couldn’t change a prenup unilaterally but he could change a will or that bc she was making more at the time, it was better for him not to do a prenup vs just doing the will and not getting married. I hope she does go with her instinct and leave. Also in many states, a spouse could challenge a will that only left them 10% (often they’re owed one third or half) but in most states I don’t think she would be able to contest a will as a girlfriend.

[@AriesLaZuriUhuru]

12:53 he didn't want to lower HIS standards or downsize HIS quality of life. OP's standards and quality of life be damned!

[@esemusic8294]

Was just reading this one! Sounds like he hates her. That's your enemy, not your husband.

[@jaeshasway]

16:30 They have been together 11 years, since they were 15 years old. Looks like she grew up, but he still hasn’t.

[@TheePrincessBrat]

She grew up with him tearing her down constantly.

[@zk6019]

"she took everything. even her car." what??? why would she leave her car for him??? 14:28

[@LibertyCairde]

One of the videos recently mentioned the book “the verbally abusive relationship”. I started reading immediately and am sitting here mouth agape to see it so clearly played out in these posts. Ohhhh everyone should read that book just to understand that these men are not coming from a place of understanding and have no intention to understand us. This video kinda hurt my heart a bit to see it coming from another woman.

[@queenreg7]

She checked out on the guy. He thought it was peace and things were better. How you gonna tell her she’s ugly and boring etc. and think she’s not going to check out?

[@michellepalmer1160]

I hope yall are noticing this new trend of higher earning men being stingy and wanting to go 50/50. Just cause he has alot of money doesn't mean nothing.. this is like the 3rd or 4th story I heard like this.. I think yall did a story where the man made over 900k a year and the wife still had to work with a child..

[@leahh.6277]

I think they should split things equitably. She should be paying 20% and him 80%. Once she's at 0 he should be at 100%. A mess.. but she should have said something earlier. She should definitely get that under control before buying a house

[@food4thought692]

Yes maybe next time he could carry the baby and push it out. Then it can be equitable. 🥴🤦🏽‍♀️

[@teasusual]

Divorce him! Child support!

[@Caram3l_Bombsh3ll]

These guys don’t deserve to be partnered up 🤦🏾‍♀️ Good for the lady in the last story for taking her things and leaving without a word.

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

Like the time my ex and I were walking around site seeing, and out of nowhere, without a word other than my name, he splashed water in my face! As a "PRANK" 😮 “it was just a joke! Don't get all pissy!“... Looking back on this, I'm now 100% positive he did that because I had done my hair and makeup that day, and was feeling too good about myself! It was just to knock me down a peg or two 🙄 And if course there was the gaslighting that came next.... " Are you really that vain and shallow? Why do you care so much about your looks in front of other people?"

[@carrieduvall4579]

He absolutely did

[@jaeshasway]

2:00 This situation is just awful. She should at least seek counsel so that a divorce attorney can tell her what fair distribution looks like. There is no way I would’ve paid 50% of the rent when I made 24% of his salary. Why is it that in this day and age women have no friends or family to tell them that something like this was wrong before they walked down the isle? And how can she be so naive as to not know better? This literally blows my mind.

[@kjerit630]

And this why, we need to go back to the previous times when family members helped AND vetted potential partners for their children espcially daughters. We have moved so far from that and it is left upto the individual to figure out if they found a good partner! In most cases, it becomes evident after marriage or babies, so it ends being like the lottery - only the lucky few win! Most of us were never taught how to find and vet a good partner or at least ensure you negotiate fair terms for your marriage.

[@truthseeker3967]

@@kjerit630 Yes, men wanting to get at females. need to go through the males of her family - father, uncles, brothers - if any- cousins, grandpa - I dunno-

[@paulaw418]

​​@@kjerit630parental approval is no guarantee of a good match. No, women sure as hell do not need to GO BACK!!!

[@constancep7632]

Story 3: He abused her emotionally and verbally, and she checked out. He was blissfully unaware because he didn't give a sh*t.

[@Egg_Apron]

Third woman has learned the lesson called "pay the money and free yourself." What did the boyfriend expect, a 2 week notice??

[@amyyaku5022]

S3: Dude verbally abused the woman he claimed to love and still had the audacity to try and get her back. How about stay single until you learn how to properly treat another human being? 🙄

[@meccadivine365]

50/50? Absolutely not.

[@AnonyMous-lh3cm]

Sis with the will-don’t get mad. Just switch yours up. Leave most of yours to your extended family. If he wants to throw a fit just say “Finding out you changed your will made me reevaluate mine. You’re right. If I pass on before you, you’re more than financially capable of maintaining our lifestyle for yourself. My money would be better suited providing for my family in the long run. Thanks for showing me that I could provide more and put my assets to better use in my passing .

[@BurbNBougie]

She needs to leave him though and prep for her life. His sister can swoop in and take her home bc of him. She needs to make the appropriate arrangements.

[@caramellbaby1124]

So why had the baby?,👎👎👎 he do not deserve a baby😡👎👎👎👎

[@soapsuds4472]

Sometimes I wonder if these stories are real cause they are wild.

[@COJAMALIK]

I wouldn't pay anything and I wouldn't go back to work either. I would requedt money for eseential via text and email. She can get some credit cards it will be marital debt, and she should start preparing for divorce child support and alimony

[@beeblu5043]

Yes!!!

[@fantym1633]

Alimony would be a score bc most don't get it IRL

[@chorizoramen93]

Men get so upset when I say they don't love their wives or kids, but they prove me right every day

[@hubabaloop]

I am single, with no children and pay 1300 in rent… It doesn’t even make sense for her to pay half while living with him. I’m with you. She gots to go

[@queensavage9896]

Story 1: I have a boyfriend and he pays my rent. If I ask for money, I expect it. It will be this way from now on. I am practicing hypergamy and I WILL NOT go 50/50 with a man. Not over dinner, bills, or even a snickers. 😅 We will also not live together unless married. No babies...ever. These men can be mad, my bf has never complained. I think I might need a new car soon. 😊 Only dusties cry about gold digging. My BF economic and networking status is higher than mine....also, by example, has encouraged me to elevate mine as well. Let's get it ladies 😅❤

[@talkingtochapri]

If possible have an @bortion and find an actual man who can provide. I will never do 50/50 with no male 😂 We still live in a patriarchal society, a burden of being a mother is nothing compared to being just a father, the pain, bleeding, strech marks, ruined body, lifetime responsibility, etc, etc, the bare minimum he can do is fully provide 😅 a alot of women don't think about all these before dating a dusty. If he doesn't spend on you and doesn't provide, he doesn't care 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@soundsaboutright---]

First 10 seconds: is he gonna go half on the pregnancy? Thats crazy. That man doesn't like her

[@charis4me]

2nd OP's guy seems like he'd end up on a crime docuseries as the perp in her demise or the victim of his sibling who is known for malfeasance

[@thesecretshade]

I remember the first story. That's some serious boy math. She should give him a bill for pregnancy and childbirth or even better move the hell out and do it all by herself. The rent would be cheaper too because y'all know with such an income he got a bigger apartment and just expects her to pay half. It's ridiculous how she was the one having to use her money for baby stuff. So he doesn't even provide for the baby. Just move out. You are doing it alone already. Get that child support and you will live better than now

[@NubianStone]

Its heartbreaking. She needs to leave. This is so sad!

[@NikkiRen]

I’m only 2 mins in-why is she even married? Who came up with that arrangement?

[@leahp1765]

If she has zero income then she pays for zero.

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

He really doesn't seem to understand that when he apologizes, then repeats the abuse, that means he's NOT sorry.

[@joylastname3035]

I saw this on Twitter. Someone said she's in a glorified roommate situation. Another said she should let him know how much alimony and child support will cost him instead if he keeps this up. Edit: by the way, do you know many men don't consider their wives their family? Nigerian twitter confirmed that for me. Despite their open vitriol towards women and the misogyny, it was still sobering to see that even the ones they marry that bear them children, she's still an "other" as far as they're concerned.

[@silververnallbells191]

Yes, I knew A LOT of men (not just Nigerians) don't consider their wives their family.

[@heavenlee4544]

This can’t be fr 😭

[@Dan1ell]

First case: He is gay and using her as a cover. Why do I suspect this? 1. He makes her split the costs of living 50/50 regardless of circumstance. This means he regards her as nothing more than a roommate. 2. He pays to bring her to his parents house every year. This means he drags her to his parents house once a year as ‘evidence’ that he is straight. Obviously I cant know for sure from the comfort of my couch but it fits. On the down low.

[@kimberlyplatt2382]

I have a better idea for her. Divorce him. Take half his money, Alimony and child support.

[@meadowrae1491]

That last one. DUDE. She was cleaning because she didn't want to miss any of her things when she left. How can you not know this?

[@ReeMoni24]

Wow. That’s disgusting that he expects a 50% split with that kind of income disparity. He really needs to be ashamed especially now that you are the mother of his children.

[@gardnerhill9073]

When I'd take one of my teen nephews to an s.f. convention, we split the hotel bill according to our means. That meant that I paid for the room, and the teen would cover the room's taxes and the housekeeper's tip. Worked out pretty well.

[@unlisted333]

She didn’t marry a provider and it was obvious from the start. He’s not generous. How you start with men is how you finish! 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@wellknown1204]

Exactly!!! Thats why one of ky turn off is if the guy not genereous and kind hearted to provide for me. Where is the logic here, she is pregnant and gave birth to HIS CHILD, and he still make her paid for everything 50/50.

[@HappyBeeTV-BeeHappy]

He's not really her man, he's a roommate masquerading as her man. Which would explain why he can't see paying the full rent while his wife and the mother of his child are on unpaid maternity leave. I think they need to separate bcuz there's no reason for them to be living together since his heart is not in it. Now, with that other case, I'm surprised that he's even leaving her 10% in his will bcuz guys usually leave their estate to their mothers. And again, she needs to get the hell away from that guy too bcuz she doesn't need him. He's not doing anything that will help her when the chips go down so why bother? Make it on your own solo ladies and leave these big babies in the dust where they belong. The way I see it, there's no reason for couples to be living together, bcuz it's a great temptation to take women for granted and used them and leave them dry when they're done. And why bother going that route? You been with a man for years and finds out in the end that you stood nowhere with him the whole time? Then why let him stand in close with you?

[@Bubaluve]

Number 1 id financial abuse she should leave, number 2 she leave also cause he deliberately didn't tell you about the change, that is dishonesty and God knows what else he is hiding get out and dont even give him an explanation.

[@chryssesandchaos]

I don't understand these type of men who obviously do not trust their wives with money, if you think a woman is a gold digger, don't marry her, why would you want to be with someone you don't trust? Or is this more than about trust, I can't relate coz I'm not into romance, I prefer to be single and hearing stories like these, make me glad I'm single. 😊

[@PrincessC03]

Many XYs suck on women's creative, vibrant energy for their own gain and survival, so they dupe women by running The Game on them with promises of "love". Most are incapable of love, empathy and emotional intelligence, but they'll still happily marry a women while lacking all those things. This is why single women are the happiest demographic.

[@jsChelimo]

that is because he is the one exploiting her. It's all projection