3 Toxic Wife Behaviors You Need to Know | The Happy Wife School Show Ep.9

[@thehappywifeschool]

Video Timestamps 0:00 Welcome 2:49 Topic Introduction 6:43 Defining "Toxic" 16:50 Toxic Wife Behavior 1 - Putting Up Walls 25:56 Toxic Wife Behavior 2 - Being a Control Freak 33:02 Toxic Wife Behavior 3 - Worrying 37:57 Take Responsibility 47:22 Questions and Comments

[@Jaco3688]

It takes a woman with a rare degree of humility, transparency, and honesty to have arrived at the place you are. I admire you greatly.

[@christophergrizzle7659]

Well said indeed 👏

[@unknownpage9239]

Indeed , She has suffered a lot to purify herself😢

[@rafaeldeleon225]

She's just being a woman.....

[@importdoc7]

Rare indeed, sadly. Cheers to you Karyn

[@gabrielamartiniuc6322]

What if we were always this way? She treated her husband bad at one point. Me? I was treated exactly like these men are by a man. And I suffered in a sexless Marriage as well.

[@rm6857]

Imagine society with free sexual market where women tend to be drawn to funny/toxic guys, get hurt many many times, and then marry good guy and crush him.

[@shrimpman8422]

great explanation,

[@carlosalbertogarbijr6212]

@@JaiW-eg8oy As a good men I disagree haha. You sound like you need to watch more of her videos. Also, I kinda take it as a compliment as I do not want to be seen as some easy to manipulate weak dude, who takes women shit all day quiet. Don´t get me wrong, I never did anything bad to women, but i demand respect.

[@youngfreewaydiesel3118]

Well said. You must be a Kevin Samuals student.

[@weldit]

And then after a women has run through a bunch of bad boys,we good guys get damaged goods with not much way to fix the past hurt.

[@Cougs2894]

@@welditthey get mad and blame us when they are then unhappy as we were the “safe” choice and now want to see if the grass is greener 😢

[@CuteNails-i3i]

my husband sent me this video at first i feel little attack from this. video but after i take little more time and listen it over and over again, and i just reliable that like OMG this is so me on everything you said, thank you very much and i’m willing to open up to be better wife 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@TheHillrat4wd]

As a man going through a divorce after 32 years THANK for opening yourself up and at least being honest and LISTENING. I could never get my wife to listen to me and what I was FEELING, when I tried to have a conversation it was still always my fault it finally broke me and I was left with no choice but to file for divorce and now she's the victim and I'm the devil.

[@BA-pq3uj]

@@TheHillrat4wd I'm sure you know this, but it's only the label she's assigned you. Take solace in the knowledge that responsibility is kryptonite to women. It's not you, it's in their nature.

[@thegallantsaint2034]

God bless you 🙏

[@DrRocketTurner]

God bless and heal you ma’am!!! Dr Rocket 🚀

[@tgsglen1729]

​@@TheHillrat4wdI just got divorced and that's how I feel. My wife emotionally and physically abused me made me feel like I was worthless. Unfortunately, we still have to share the same house till it sells. In the meantime she's dated and all I do is work and keep house.

[@rob21]

Yes and yes. I withdrew from my wife after years of soft abuse and neglect. I never felt more alone than when I was with her. I'm divorced now and much happier.

[@invalidlitterdept]

abuse is abuse man, no need to call it soft abuse.

[@covertops19Z]

@rob21 I'm glad you are across the line and can heal.. I know the feeling. I can attest, I suffer from post marriage PTSD. It took me many years to recognize my Ex was a ginormous controller/abuser. All women should be approached with suspicion.

[@ResisterCIO]

The Peace is such a blessing!

[@piotrserafinski9499]

I'm so sorry, bro.... I'm currently on the same path still being married.

[@h.4532]

What about men who do the same to women! We've nowhere to go to

[@SMOKINGdaFUNK]

I separated from my wife almost a year ago thinking I wasn't good enough for her. Every argument was how I wasn't doing enough to earn her attention until she finally told me she just wasn't attracted to me anymore. I just couldn't live like that with someone who would isolate in front of a computer and not interact with her family and call me the problem. For years I called it roommates raising kids, and she never accepted any responsibility for her avoidance.

[@Plans4YouJer2911]

WOW ... THAT WAS A KNIFE IN THE BACK A year ago mine said no more sex I was using her and taking advantage of her WOW ... COULD NOT BELIEVE IT Now she wants a divorce unless I can fix my "dysfunctions"

[@TheHillrat4wd]

Sorry to hear that, I was with my wife 32 years loved her with all my heart and soul but no matter what I did it was never enough or good enough, she weaponized sex, we hadn't had any Intimacy in years. she wouldn't even talk about it if she did it was still my fault that she didn't feel close to me because I wasn't doing enough, it finally broke me mentally and spiritually. I had no choice to violate everything I believe in and I filed for the divorce and of course now she plays the perfect victim. I'm an old school traditional man and cannot make sense out of any of it, I found a very good Christian lady and sought counseling after a couple of sessions I asked her to call and speak to my wife after she did so she told me she was surprised I made it as long as I did because my wife Steamrolled her in conversation just like she had always done me, she first told me I had been too good to my wife and she lost respect for me it took a long time for me to get my head around that she then also explained to me that she felt my wife was a covert narcissist. I'm a very empathetic person and I now know that is the most volatile combination you can have.

[@nomansland6376]

..and she took you for everything she could get and more on the way out the door too I bet.

[@Plans4YouJer2911]

@TheHillrat4wd Have known and been with mine for 9 years Beginning to think that my situation is alot like yours Be nice Few boundaries Take care of various things We both have jobs and self employed Five hour drive one way if you goof around She only been here to my place 3 , maybe 4 times in last 4 years for a weekend of 3 to 4 days Yet I am there for sometimes a couple of months Just realized the other day that I don't miss her and don't think about her very much anymore Not what I wanted 😕 😒 😑 😐

[@TheHillrat4wd]

@@Plans4YouJer2911 I recently found this lady's Channel on KZbin and I got to say she is absolutely the most honest woman I have ever heard speak you may want to check some of her stuff out. Her channel is called The happy wife School. She talks very honestly about how women can break a good man and then blame them for their unhappiness.

[@Ego.monster]

I’ve been married for ten years and the hardest thing to teach my wife was “what is good for you is good for me, AND what is good for me is good for you” we were struggling because she was resisting doing things for me because she failed to see how those things benefit her. We are a team a single unit. If I fail, you fail. Being critical of each other does not increase love and confidence in each other.

[@inthedetails5467]

It’s as if the concept of a win-win solution doesn’t exist to them. They’re hell bent on playing zero sum games which ultimately end in lose-lose situations.

[@Ego.monster]

@@inthedetails5467 they’ve never learned chess. They are coming into the relationship without ever having had to surrender something or pay for others. They literally see all men the way they saw their fathers. As a wallet to be spent.

[@thebirima91]

Exactly that. I’ve come to realize that before seeing this. Giving up is not my nature but now I’ve trown the towel in the ring which is not like me at all. Still have to deal with the situation because there’s nowhere to go yet.

[@ericmatos1025]

Three toxic wife behaviors that stem from selfishness: First behavior is @17:17 - Walls. Second behavior is @26:56 - Being Controlling. Third behavior is @33:25 - Worry. Bonus @44:01 - Behaviors have consequences.

[@AChosenGenerationHMSTD]

God bless you I was wondering when it actually gets to the point thank you

[@nerychristian]

One of the worst behaviors of women is when they constantly criticize a man for any little thing. Yet if you do the same thing to a woman, she will accuse you of being abusive.

[@americandissident9062]

@@nerychristianThat’s a controlling behavior.

[@rougebaba3887]

@@nerychristian My wife had a talk with me one night, telling me, "What comes out of a person when unpleasant things happen is an indication of what is inside of them." Then she connected this to me displaying negative emotions towards her in the past, like anger. I can say that 100% of the time when I displayed negative emotions towards her, it was as a direct result of her being a very disrespectful, emasculating and outright contemptuous woman. And yet this talk about "My Anger" is coming from a woman who got openly angry with me for brewing coffee before coming to help her on the computer! A woman who became downright enraged, cursing at me for getting lost while looking for a meeting with a financial advisor. A woman who got emotional and displayed outright contempt when I accidently poured out a day old cup of leftover coffee! Yeah, my anger is the problem. WHATEVER!

[@nerychristian]

@@rougebaba3887 It's very difficult to make a woman understand that her behavior is inappropriate. In their minds, their behavior is always justified. Next time, you should ask her, "If I was one of your male coworkers whom you respect, would you talk to me that way? Would you burst out in anger that way?". Of course, she knows that she would never act that way towards her coworkers, because she actually cares what her coworkers think about her. So then ask her, "Am I not more important to you than your coworkers? Do you know respect me or value me more than they? Do you not care what I think of you?". Don't get me wrong. I have been guilty of reacting angrily towards my own family members. But almost immediately I regret it, and feel guilty about it. And if possible, I apologize to them afterwards. And then I change my behavior.

[@PatrickDuffy-u3s]

My wife always put the children first in our marriage. When a woman doesn't put her man first, it destroys both the marriage and the father's relationship with the children. A true marriage is becoming one flesh, the children are a product of this union. Women don't realize that they are not HERS, but they are given to the family unit for a short while - it will always take TWO to make a child. The children will leave, and then what? This 'toxic' behavior in a lot of women is subconscious, because she gave birth to them, and this natural nurturing behavior is destructive to marriage if it's not prioritized - God, men, women, children. That's the order of a family. . It really requires the "red pill' to overcome this natural selfish behavior.

[@DrewJones-o3c]

This is exactly where my wife is. She has dismissed me from her life as in her mind it is only about the children.

[@mondomondo508]

I grew up in a home where my parents prioritised each other. As a child, it actually felt safe and loving.

[@RussellDion]

I have tried to explain this to my wife multiple times. I need our relationship to be secure and then it is like a veil lifts and I can give my kids all my efforts. If we are bad though, I have no space for them…

[@jasondowns2510]

That’s right that now 27 years into my marriage with my sky school sweetheart. Two adult children 27 and 24 both addicted to drugs. The 27-year-old can’t come home. He’s too dangerous. The 24-year-old lives at home works as Littl as possible my wife could pay he behavior is to protect the children that are adults.

[@Marcel-fo2cb]

How true.Had the same experience (life) with my ex.

[@glennbaseballfan4757]

I’ve known that my wife had these issues for almost 30 years. I shared this channel with her but she refuses to acknowledge this and insists that I’m the problem. She will freely give her time and attention to everyone else and I’m always last. Her constant threats of divorce, her low self esteem and her mean and angry spirit towards me every time she drinks has driven me to finally say enough. I didn’t grow up this way. My parents had a beautiful 67 year marriage and her parents were married for a long time till her mom passed from cancer at the age of 53. I appreciate what you do and it’s brought me clarity. If she can’t see her contribution to this constant state of tension then I guess it’s time to end this.

[@thegallantsaint2034]

I’m happy for you that you’ve realized your situation will never change. So for you, it’s time.

[@Hairyderriere]

Same here, Glenn.

[@Ace.0.0.0.]

Yes. Be willing to take the loss to your estate. Money can be replaced. Do not trash others, and put yourself first.

[@mme8049]

Wow. Pretty much described my situation exactly. And I like the comment by Ace01- it is difficult looking at the month to month financial shambles I’ll be in if we split. But that isn’t a reason to stay.

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

The one simple question I would like to ask women is “how does witholding love sex and affection from your husband make your marriage better and help you to be a better wife?” Would love to hear those answers ha.

[@chasingblue8952]

Wives fight their husbands’ nest to avoid having the nest become tyrannical. The problem? Women create chaos regardless if he is good or a tyrant.

[@jackdeniston59]

The actual simple answer is they dont care about being a wife or being married. They only care about what it can get them.. As above, complete utter selfishness.

[@Jaco3688]

It’s about gaining an upper hand and being able to control their husband - sadly, to the detriment of the relationship.

[@SALTYCOMBATDIVER-ExInstructor]

​@floatpool8307 I put my spouse through nursing school and supported then while they attempted a doctorate. Guess who talks regularly about divorce. I'm at the point where I will be fine either way, I don't even care anymore.

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

@@SALTYCOMBATDIVER-ExInstructor yeah once the sec is withheld eventually you just get that don’t give a crap attitude anymore. I remember stopping in the middle onetime because of how pathetic her effort was…..

[@darbrolyat6391]

I love this womans self effacing astute observations of truths and her kind caveats of the hard choices coming to those ready to confront the mirror's reflection and auspicious hope for the sunburnt brainy dude's image within

[@Hodenkat]

At 30:17 my jaw dropped. I think there are a lot of women out there that would be floored if a therapist told them their husband would be better off without them because of their toxic behavior!

[@adarshraghuram7728]

A trained therapist can't tell a grown woman what a good male friend will tell his own bud on a weekend.

[@duhg6059]

So much truth .. unfortunately women wont listen to this. maybe just 1 will listen. Great info .. karen youre very brave and humble to expose your life and experience..

[@jonstersmall2716]

True. You tube is mostly men. She needs to 'cross post' to other platforms.

[@lindapeterson7156]

I’m a woman and sharing the channel with the women I believe are brave enough to hear it. Hopefully, more women will start listening. -My husband and I listen together.

[@aberrantlawyer59]

@@lindapeterson7156 Linda, I thank you for your input but personally, I don't believe women will listen. My wife won't listen because she already knows everything. I, on the other hand, am to blame for everything.

[@aberrantlawyer59]

@duhg6059 Your comment:. "... unfortunately women won't listen to this." Agree 💯%!!!!!!

[@jessiesheldon-huffey1824]

There are some of us who listen as she does have some good nuggets of truth. But she would be successful in gaining a lot more listeners if she were more balanced and talked a bit about how both partners contribute to an unhealthy marriage. There is an undercurrent to her presentations that suggest: wives, every problem in your marriage is 100% your fault. This is alienating to women and certainly not true in many cases.

[@andredutoit1131]

"It takes a woman with a rare degree of humility, transparency, and honesty to have arrived at the place you are. I admire you greatly". I agree 💯! Thank you, Karyn xxx

[@annarboriter]

Finding a woman who possesses enough humility and introspection to admit that she creates the relationship problems which she rails against and for which blames her partners is as rare as finding a woman who understands how a thermostat works

[@MuhammadAli-gj6ss]

I shared couple of your videos with my wife for her to watch and learn and she just ignored it. I lost my beloved mom last year and right after that I discovered my wife's emotional infidelity which was about to turn into a physical relationship. I was overwhelmed by it and still today I'm trying to recover from it.

[@jessiesheldon-huffey1824]

Women are super sensitive to husbands that want to point out to them how they can be better wives. I would suggest an approach that might work better: send her a link some material you are implementing to learn how to be a better husband and acknowledge that for relationships to be successful both people have to work at it. Tell her what you are going to be working on. Ask her if she would be willing to look at some material you came across? If she says yes, send her the equivalent amount of material and ask her thoughts on it. What she agreed with, what she didn't, why or why not, etc. Try to support one another in both improving but at the same time acknowledge that the pressures of life ( work, kids, commitments, etc.) can sometimes limit our progress.

[@SasquatcherB]

A woman having humility is a strong woman.

[@ryanmalone2681]

The worrying is something that never crossed my mind. Usually my wife acts like she hates me, despite never having cheated, lied, or done anything outside of arguing with her (we don't argue because she couldn't care less). However, when I go away for days on my motorcycle and climb mountains and camp, which can be pretty dangerous, I know she worries. I always thought there must be something still there because she worries. it makes a lot more sense now as I'm the breadwinner and she's a stay at home mom, and I'm only insured for $2m if I die, which sounds like a lot, but would be a big lifestyle change for her. Almost wish I didn't learn this...almost.

[@elguapo7754]

Mine also worries when I fly a hang glider... do you think it's about me? The same situation 😁

[@camo6344]

@@elguapo7754don’t let your wife rig your hang glider

[@elguapo7754]

@@camo6344 😁

[@AChosenGenerationHMSTD]

I wanted so bad to resists this in the beginning and now just dropped to my knees praising the father for your message I needed this so much!

[@TheHillrat4wd]

This woman must be protected at all costs

[@Chadwikidy]

I appreciate you, my wife struggles with all the same issues, and i have mine too. Over the last year i have been growing on how to be a better man and seeing how i have reacted poorly over the years. It has been a hard but good journey for me with counselors, psychologist, and our pastor. I am greatful for your sincerity and humbleness. You have also played a part in helping me be a better man.

[@SALTYCOMBATDIVER-ExInstructor]

In order for us to do anything we need to let go of the things we have no control over. To hear Karyn talk about the 5 things women withhold a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It gave me the strength I needed to get back to work on myself as well as trying to hold my marriage together.

[@Psxpirate1]

I think my wife would feel condescension and threatened by the mere suggestion of watching your videos. I wish she had a bit of humility to absorb just one hour of your content. It would be such a weight off my chest. Thanks for what you do for us men.

[@BeOneWYS]

Agree first reaction after say i wish her to see this video

[@gtom70]

Thank you for your videos. They have been VERY helpful to me as I am struggling with my wife's behavior. I admit I'm far from perfect, but the controlling behavior exhibited in our marriage is incredible. In particular, the extreme effort put on ME to seek therapy and medical help. At first, I jumped through the hoops. went to therapy, went on a variety of prescription meds that took a toll on my physical and mental health. I'm realizing, now, that a LOT of the problems (ADHD, depression, lack of motivation etc) Are symptoms of the emasculation I've experienced over the last 28 years of marriage. I used to beat myself up over the guilt of MY problems. What was REALLY the problem was me being more of a "nice guy" rather than a kind MAN. I'm working now, with the help of prayer, on recapturing my strength so that I can start building bridges in order to focus on connections rather than the walls I keep running into.

[@SilviaLampa]

I am so sorry ❤ be strong

[@gtom70]

Your comment is very similar to my circumstances. The emphasis has been placed on seeking solutions to MY mental health issues without considering that much of the cause is the toxic behaviors projected onto us from wifes trying to be armchair Psychiatrists

[@damianjones6546]

Fascinating to know about Walls. I realized the other day that I barely know my wife. We've been together for 16 years. I know very little about her life before i came along.

[@patricedenis42]

If you don't know what your life told about you life and our lives with her bestf🎉riend, with her mom with her collegues and some other girls in her entourage , you really don't know your wife and you just in stand by for your divorce

[@gregorygarcia6542]

I call it neglect. The intentional withdrawing of energy and attention. Denial of love.

[@raamtselon]

Sister, you are so REAL and OPEN and call a spade - a spade ! I wish i could hug you as GRADITUDE and APPRECIATION. You called it out ! Your words vindicated me after years of madness and feeling responsible and doing everything with care and understanding. She just never wanted to admit the wrings as it would make her feel responsible and she was too proud or lazy to work on them. I would have gladly support her 😢 But now, its too late - she is divorcing and "doesnt love me anymore ...trashing me to everyone. And she called ME a control freak - me who cares for her and her child and took all the wories of life. She couldnt hear one word of correction, while i took responsibility .

[@meconphil]

I thank you for your videos. I have been married for over 25 years and withdrew over 10 years ago. I felt trapped not wanting to lose my house and my boys, but not being able to handle or deal with the belittling, disrespect, lack of warmth or intimacy and being blamed for the source of her unhappiness. I thought it was just my iceberg wife. You helped me understand that it is common. This motivates me to work on a solution instead of a way out

[@blessings1517]

Was fascinated by the discussion about a woman appearing "nice." I am not sure I can summarize accurately what you said, but it reminded me that for myself and most of my friends, the "niceness" of their wives complete dedication to their children is somehow a justification for not meeting the needs of their husbands. When the husbands call attention to this issue, the wife's response is almost always, "you care more about yourself than the children." Would love to get your take on this, unless you have already addresed it and can direct me to the relevant video. Thank you!

[@larrylorimer3065]

Karyn: I had three marriage counsellors and had to save the life of the third one as she was going to be attacked right in front of me. That one got fired and a fourth was to be tried on me and I said three strikes and I'm out of here. Months later I was served the papers. Good riddance!!!

[@madmx40]

After listening to this, I may be one of the few lucky good men. My wife only touches only one of these toxic things. With communication and patients ...we might be okay

[@christys.3912]

Communication is something relatively easy to work on. Watch stuff and discuss things, read something and discuss it. Have weekly check ins with each other and build the skills together. I struggle with communication, I can't stand confrontation... but it's something me and my husband are working through. He struggles with it too, so we are learning together. Build up to the confrontation. Best wishes to you and your wife! I hate seeing all these comments of men having terrible marriages. I wish people could work things out.

[@robhines2235]

My wife of 25 years is the exact opposite of you. She treats everyone horribly. Degrades myself and our kids. Makes the same amount of money per year if not more than I do, but yet she expects me to pay for everything and she never has any money.

[@shrimpman8422]

completely get the the money thing, I pay for the majority of things and she is saving money left, right and centre ( maybe its all part of the exit strategy )

[@dZorroIII]

Typical... Her money is her money. Your money is our money.

[@Ace.0.0.0.]

It sounds like she has issues. Remember, like Karyn's sign says- her happiness is her issue, not yours.

[@jeffhall9663]

You are a breath of fresh air. Thank you!

[@markthomas6436]

I wish my ex, who said I was 95% responsible for all the problems in our marriage while she refused joint counseling, could have heard you.

[@Jojo10475]

I loved the revelation that "walls" are protective, but they reveal fear. Eliminating the walls, as you said, strengthen us by having us face, with courage, whatever comes our way.

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

Ironically when I got married at 22 I had already dealt with some crap from women but didn’t have walls up when I met my wife and got married. Post marriage and attempting to date and actually contemplated marriage again with another women who essentially just ran away I have massive walls up now and also just don’t really care anymore about a relationship/marriage.

[@jonstersmall2716]

Freedom

[@MagusKali]

Are they really walls? Or are they more like standards?

[@QuantumThoughts69]

I love your content, so authentic, such rich wisdom. I appreciate the work - exceptional delivery 🙏

[@Cougs2894]

My wife blamed me for all the problems in our marriage and wanted a divorce. It wasn’t until I watched these videos that I realized my wife was at the high end of the women spectrum. All her accusations have been proven false and she refuses to see that. I believed everything my wife told me. I was useless, lazy. All I did was work and come home and watch sports. I was diagnosed with severe depression. She withheld sex for years and I looked to SM and other’s for validation. I did not have sex outside the marriage. I was loyal to the marriage. I Supported her through moving from the city to the country and her many job/career changes the past 10 years. This wasn’t enough for her. I was depressed and started questioning if I was the person she accused me of being (non-supportive, not being able to read her mind, every action was malicious). I started questioning everything about myself and thanks to friends, a therapist and my pastor I realize I am a good man and not the person she projected onto me. I pray she can heal.

[@davidberg3786]

I find your words and your message to be SO enlightening. If a man were to share this content no one and NO woman would believe what is being shared. Thank-you for sharing and helping husbands and wives to understand each other. If my ex-wife were to hear this program it could go either way, she might get a clue and she may very well implode because of her self-cetered attitude. I have been separated from the wife I loved before she dropped me like a hot potato and has poisoned my 2 daughters against. They are afraid to show any love, closeness or compassion to me because they are afraid of losing their mother's favor.

[@shrimpman8422]

sorry to hear your story, in a similar situation with my wife/daughter ( past caring for both ) . However I have a son, we have a great relationship and realises the truth. I hope it all works out for you in the end and your daughters see the light/truth

[@ABHLSD]

I can't believe how insightful is this discussion! It is almost disturbing how correct is your analysis. I don't think any of us can thank you enough for allowing everyone, anyone to peer through this particular window. I look forward to more of your material. Your openness, insight, and honesty will help a lot of people.

[@Ummaialan23]

God bless you dearly. Your podcast is the first of its kind to speak truth beyond my imagination and of course coming from you as a woman. I have leaved in doubt for fifteen years about myself bcos of the way my wife has behaved over these years and worse now. I have reached a point of no return in the relationship. Your podcast just help confirm my suspicion of my wife's toxic behaviour. Thank you and God bless the work that you do.

[@bigtrev761]

🇦🇺😎👍I was the fourth child for too many years. 23 years on since the divorce I am still single and I do not date . Thanks for your clarity , you’re a good woman 😑

[@tommcallister4044]

Funny thing that i just said to my wife was that i remember the beginning of our relationship as extremely happy and the happiest time of my life, and wife says it was not as great as i remember it. I said that my memories were diferent because i went in whole heartedly with no guards or hurt and she was never 100% in it and had walls up and could not possibly feel what i felt. So in some ways my memories were never real as i was only seeing the facade of what she wanted me to see and that hurts as my thinking that we could go back to how we were is impossible as it was never real.

[@harrymlondobozi8605]

Can't go back. Wife said she just wants us to "go back to how we used to be" I'm thinking, nope! Why would I want to go back to being neglected, pushed away when I'm horny and denied sex? 😂

[@Xinkgs]

I definitely admire the level of growth and knowledge you provide.

[@DrLusEnglish]

This channel is one of the few most beneficial channels on KZbin.

[@harrymlondobozi8605]

Supporting Karen fully, 8 billion subscribers 🎉❤

[@dantheman332]

This channel is gonna grow fast .... gonna be huge ... due to an honest, accountable woman coming clean about their nature .... this is refreshing

[@netjlr307]

Agreed.... how many thousands of men have put up with this pathetic behavior and for how long .. it's staggering

[@weldit]

It may not grow as fast as you think. No woman I know wants to face the music and admit they might just possibly have a bit of fault in them. They will ghost this channel.

[@Shadowarfare117]

​@@weldit Then the men will carry it.

[@byronwelgens2534]

Listening fron New Zealand. The withholding clip was EXCELLENT!

[@jimb3093]

Indeed it was.

[@H1ya2u2]

Believe in Gods humor and clever ways to give you what you need when you need it. With a strong desire to make different decisions than what i was led to believe how things are to be, I can accept all the things i accused my husband of was actually me. I honestly felt it was a we problem. Though i could be still rejecting this whole mindset, its good to look at and make sure it isnt narcissism or a real mental health issue on any side. Just as the deeply felt need for my husband to do hard challenging work that is required of us, i am on board to be accountable and be the real wife i want to be.

[@rodwitzel9260]

You speak powerful and practical truths into relationships Great channel!

[@bingflosby]

It’s all men in the comments because women literally don’t care about being better it’s insane i don’t understand how we’ve gotten this bad

[@jimmymaracas6442]

Because we’ve given women things like no fault divorce where they have the power in a marriage. Basically it’s the answer is that they are finally able to do all of this where as in the past it’s be impossible. Also western degradation of morality and group think but mainly because they have been empowered to act terribly and get away with it.

[@jessiesheldon-huffey1824]

I think it is almost all men in the comments because of the way she approaches things: instead of starting off with men and women do things that end up ruining their marriages, she just jumps right into how women are responsible for all marital unhappiness. Almost any woman is going to tune her out because she is soo one sided. If you go on other KZbin channels where the situation is reversed and the speaker is talking solely about how men are always destroying their relationships, you will see almost exclusively female comentors.

[@Ar-i-el]

@@jessiesheldon-huffey1824there u go looking for equal blame because u can’t handle responsibility for urself.. u are literally representing the toxicity she speaks of and that’s why u don’t like it so much.. deep down u know it’s all true… but u continue to try to find others to blame.. u should really try to listen and reflect instead of criticizing

[@jessiesheldon-huffey1824]

@Ar-i-el so funny so many men commenting on this video as "my wife should listen to this" and so on and so forth. I looked at the comment section of a video that described how husband's ruin their marriages and it was mostly women commenting on how badly their husband's needed the advice, etc. It seems spouses like to see the speck in their partners eyes, instead of looking at the log in theirs. 🤪 But you have it correct for sure: I am the one to blame for all the issues in my marriage even though you know nothing about my marriage or my husband. Shame on me for wanting to understand how each of us could improve.🤪

[@andersnielsen6044]

@@jessiesheldon-huffey1824 Cute to end it with a solid blame..

[@doyourbest7655]

A man should make it clear that he will not stay where he is not appreciated. Put the thinking cap on a woman by leaving for a week with no contact. On return act if nothing is wrong, and do not speak of any reason that you have for leaving. Be happy, no resentment, act in a positive way. If she is angry or violent, state “It is not working” and leave. Marriage couple counseling is for the woman to manipulate you into agreeing you are the offending party. Don’t be manipulated, be a positive “adult” in the relationship. Be positive. When she wants to argue say “No thanks” . Remember women have no option but to manipulate you, as their only control over you. Be kind, but don’t play their game. It’s your game you want to play of a happy life!

[@bdbgto1]

when I stand up to my wifes controlling,extremely jealous behavior,then I am told "you dont love me anymore! "

[@invalidlitterdept]

ah the gaslighting, well i got told that im taking things out of proportion after i patiently tried to retain my composure through the shits that are thrown at me

[@b_the_lone_wolf]

Run!

[@jessiesheldon-huffey1824]

Can you explain the jealous and controlling behavior?

[@Wake-upCall-zc8id]

@@jessiesheldon-huffey1824 What for? Don't you already know how to do that? This man does not have to JUSTIFY his description of his wife behavior. If you don't believe him, your like the others(aka part of the problem)

[@DanHoller-eb6xt]

if i can put a timeline on when my wife became very controlling is once she became a mother. she apparently was so insecure that she needed to take complete control over all aspects. once we had our second son, i was relegated to an inconvenience to her.

[@adammalay3842]

“If you don’t got it, you can’t spot it” wow!

[@americandissident9062]

My mom’s entire existence is define by these three toxic behaviors, especially 2 and 3.

[@ryanmalone2681]

While it's refreshing to hear you recognize reality for what it is and holding yourself accountable, it seems like unless a wife has some sort of epiphany, nothing will change. It's not like you could ever explain any of this to your wife and she would accept it. She's gotta come to the realization on her own. Good luck with that. 🤣

[@christys.3912]

I know most women aren't receptive and I've always been someone that self-reflects but the way I got into red pill is watching fresh and fit talking to all those crazy women. At first I didn't see what they talked about but that's because I'm very sheltered with few people in my life. But eventually after hundreds of women saying the same things it became clear to me that women can be nuts and live in lala land and can be incredibly selfish. I started watching pearly things and mediocre tutorials and reviews and the like. I guess I've always been red pill but didn't realize it. Pearl and fresh and fit are entertaining so maybe she would watch those. Then work up to this one.

[@dcryder9736]

After watching several podcasts and sensing the truth of your words I am pointed back to Genesis 3:16 which explains a woman's desire to control or to be adversarial with her husband. God told her that in spite of this, her husband will be the one to control her. So in order for her to emasculate her husband (which she is destined to do) the husband has to ignore the power and role given to him by God. So we who don't have a red pulled wife must assume the leadership role over our wives. God bless you

[@simondaly9960]

I've experienced all 3 points within my previous relationship. The Worry point, from her, hit a wall when i had major surgery. The surgery and outcome were all safe, however, she threw up a further defensive wall because she could jo longer, and gave up caring about my health. Pretty much became roommates, and i walked out within 2yrs. Everything was my fault, i had to change, she was traumatised and scared from childhood incidents which scarred her and made her refuse any help. Some women just refuse help, and prefer their own continuously shrinking world for reducing protection.

[@viacondios19]

Good stuff! Heartbreaking for men.

[@ernestcook4285]

I very much appreciate your honesty, sincerity. You have really help me understand my life and marriage.

[@TheKojak1966]

true!

[@dasgespenst979]

I always learn so much from your content. One thing I might slightly disagree with is, men don't have walls. I know I have walls and it is from a previous relationship, however I do my best to not let that be brought into my current marriage

[@MattTheBandGuy]

Interesting thing I'm seeing is: from the comments it's mostly men consuming this content. Where are the women commenting either admitting or calling her out? I think that's all we need to know, guys.

[@woodspirit98]

Its important for good men to know they should walk away immediately if their wives treat them badly. Dont wait. Dont try to change them or youselves. Get out.

[@sirvimmy]

Do you have a video(s) on what makes a good woman? You mention briefly what makes a good man, but what makes a good woman? In my mind, its accountability, and priortization of the relationship over the individual, and the integrity to hold to her word. Those traits only make a great marriage when a good man is upholding his side to do the same.

[@user-rf3cn2ou3x]

The problem with marrying a woman with children is that the man is always in third, forth ,or fifth place.

[@joefuqua2660]

It does not matter. Marry a woman with no children and then have two, you are in 3rd place!

[@sydneycarton928]

Or worse. I was behind my gfs son, nephew, mom, and sister, minimum.

[@burlingtonbill1]

1. Heart walls erected 2. Controlling behavior 3. Constant worrying

[@bumpercoach]

Volumes good Content GREAT

[@Steverz32]

Great lessons today K😃☺️

[@thehappywifeschool]

Thank you for the kind words and for watching 😊

[@Steverz32]

@@thehappywifeschool hope the truck your husband is looking at meets his expectations 👍

[@larryconner8825]

Fear of loss whether of relationships, finances, social status is what drives the insecurities of women

[@mrwhigham]

Another video who 100% describes everything I’ve been dealing with for 13 plus years with my wife. Thank you 😊. Now how to get my wife to watch this.

[@sergenadeau211]

Thank you so much Karyn. I love your videos. You are not afraid of saying things as they are. Cheers.

[@Hanna5859]

At the best of time, marriages are between two selfish, self-centred, and self-loving SINNERS. This is our nature until it is changed in a wrinkling of the eye when Christ shall return to claim His own...

[@lifesIronyboard]

The worry part: A widowed person's perspective: We were together 30 years and now 5 years after the death, the devastation left behind has no words that can be used to explain it to those who haven't lived it. When you enter a marriage, you give permission to your spouse to open themselves up to you. That means you have a responsibility to not do things that risk harming the marriage or leaving them emotionally devastated. I am devastated every time I think of all the moments left to come that my wife will never get to experience. Is that selfish? Is it selfish to miss her every day?

[@anitayoung9768]

I agree wholeheartedly with you... it is not selfish at all, it's about being a unit and your other half is not physically with you, what is selfish about you missing your beautiful God given relationship? It makes me sad to think that this world has become so individualized that missing someone is deemed selfish. That's the kind of relationship I want, someone who does worry about me, someone who does miss me... God bless you and may He give you comfort and peace❤

[@aberrantlawyer59]

Both of you miss the very point the Narrator of this video is making (it went right over both of you)... especially the male. The narrator is discussing a particular type of false-worry. If you never experienced this type of manipulation then you probably don't know how to recognize it. It's a self serving worry and women are masters at using it. To the male commenter...the Narrator isn't talking about your wife. Your wife is a good woman GOD REST HER SOUL (and just because she's in heaven doesn't mean she's not watching you). Continue to make her proud, my friend...but honestly, I don't think this video is for either one of you.

[@brentswartzentruber6348]

Thank you for giving us hope.

[@polluello]

You make me cry in a positive way

[@hgvasquez6273]

Karyn, your spirit and kindness is a beautiful thing.

[@dusty762]

thank you for this. good job.

[@danielwilson3313]

You do a great job articulating the issues I and sure so many men agree on. Would be amazing if other women would recognize their behavior....

[@jhaesahoncox8889]

I agree with everything you've said. As long as the pushing is done in moderate healthy ways

[@johng.4959]

I am so amazed at the content and especially the comments that people have made. I feel bad for all the good guys that have put up with this type of behavior. Of course, we do this because we truly love our wives but just cannot communicate (to them) how devastating they can be to our soul. So refreshing to hear.

[@mariorosa895]

Excellent job ,keep up the good work.

[@bdbgto1]

love that part about the control freak

[@valeriacortez7003]

You help me so much. ❤

[@Azeraph]

This is eye opening, so glad i clicked on your channel. Thank you for trying to share what you have found and worked on.

[@sculptureshard377]

I fell head over heals for my ex-wife, she was attractive, athletic and came across as a good woman. We courted for a year, became engaged and married, I thought for life. Then the troubles began. She turned off sex immediately, the honeymoon being a non-binding sexless time, and she refused kiss me stating she hated anything touching her face. She accidently divulged once that she regarded sex as a duty, let her gorgeous body go to seed and put on about 80lbs of fat. Despite this we managed to have two children; I'd have taken a bullet for her. I was approached five times by women who wanted me intimately, yet I remained faithful. Two of those women were drop-dead gorgeous and one them my ex knew well. She began to withdraw and the final fifteen years were sexless and difficult. After 24 years she moved on to greener pastures, poisoned the minds of my children towards me and divorced me taking my children with her. I remember her final words, "I detest you, you do not meet my needs, I can do better, and you eat like a pig!" I have reconnected with the eldest but am dead to the youngest., how can the dead help the living?

[@corywhittle1033]

Lived in Colorado for 20 years, enjoy your webinars. Very good content in sharing your experiences

[@Animatthias]

The male equivalent of this video would be a video of a man explaining to men why it's wrong to punch people.

[@darktenor4967]

really nice points, since these are behaviours I've seen myself, and indeed experienced from women (my mother is terrible for being a control freak, and over using self-centred care of others). However, I'd really appreciate some videos on positive aspects of being a woman and a wife, EG positive care vs negative worrying. My lady does not do these things. She's seen these sorts of behaviours in others and makes a continual effort not to engage in them herself, however I've not shown her your videos, since she's more likely to either beat herself up, and over-analyse; or assume that your videos aren't applicable to her. She's one of the most genuinely open and honest people I know (something which has got her into trouble), indeed when we got together I was the one with more serious baggage to overcome (I'm a male survivor of sexual abuse by women). She's more likely to be indecisive and leave decisions up to me, even with small things like she'll never think to make coffee herself, but if I ask her to she always will, and when she worries about me, it's almost never with an effort to control what I do. It's more things like my career suddenly being a mess, which yes, I'm equally aware of myself. If she worries about something small, like telling me to be careful when I'm standing on a stool changing a light bulb, she'll quite accept when I tell her, "it's fine!" Obviously she gets depressed sometimes, but she'll just straight off tell me, she! is feeling a bit down, and not to take her attitude seriously. Indeed, even though we do divide the housework fairly equally, and try to take decisions together (though usually my lady asks me for the final word), in many ways my lady probably is a "trad wife", at least in the emotional sense and the way we relate to each other, because though she's incredibly intelligent, speaks three languages fluently, and is an accomplished soprano and therapist, she's also one of the gentlest and kindest women you will find. She's absolutely made me a better man, and yes, I'll be the first person to say, in her I've been superbly lucky, so it'd be nice to have something a bit more affirmative of good women. There's so much out there directed at women which rewards toxic behaviours, tells women to be domineering and controlling, it'd be nice to here an alternative positive point of view. I'd also appreciate some advice for good men (which I try to be), who want to do better by their wives as well.

[@sdownin72]

As a man, I have to say we do have walls as well. And they also get built when we get hurt. When you let a woman in and she turns around later and uses that to hurt you teaches you really quick to not let people in. Women who are cruel, bitter, angry, nagging, or controlling builds our walls. You see it as withdrawal, but it’s our way to keep the hurt, the drama, and the chaos away.

[@Adrian-s9y]

I genuinely have much love for you,you wonderful lady.

[@patjames5259]

I think this is such a honest video - thank you

[@ChrisFrazierthecoach]

It would be interesting to know how many women that watch and subscribed to this channel? I am a Emotional Intelligence Coach and I have seen over the years that women online which isn’t all women have used this as a weapon to say that men don’t have it but I find it’s the opposite is true because how women are made in their default position.

[@ashinch0r]

Oh that's easy. None.

[@thehappywifeschool]

Thank you for your comment. The open-minded women watching and subscribed to the channel are quietly listening and reaching out. "Women have used emotional intelligence as a weapon to say that men don’t have it." - Spot on.

[@jillhargrave-george4510]

Yes..I am the problem solver, we are not all hopeless, not American btw!

[@day3405]

Excellent teaching! The Lord has made you wise beyond your years.

[@Plans4YouJer2911]

Thank You for Sharing Your mission Also that You have a belief in God Have been wondering if You did You confirmed it today God Bless You and Your husband and Your family A ND listener

[@dandawson8128]

Regarding your issues about worry aside, ………everyone should wear helmets all the time. I’m over 50 now, but can tell you I didn’t wear one back in the 80’s, but similar to wearing seatbelts and most accidents are within 5 miles from home, bike accidents can happen in familiar areas too. Yes, your worry could unfounded, but helmets are a responsible thing to do. I also never wore one skiing either, now I never ski without one then either. Karyn, keep up the good work! My late wife had some of this, I was recently dating someone who had a lot of these traits, unfortunately. Part of me would like to recommend your channel to her, but I don’t want the backlash. His Brain Her Brain is a good book too!

[@joh8379]

The best advice I would give a fellow man, is to not accept such behavior especially when your woman is deliberately hurting you. This is an absolutely evil trait, leave these demons behind even if it's only gonna hurt you more. This only means you are a good human beeing and you deserve to be with a good woman in return.

[@Flatlandflyer]

My wife told me last night that I'm a good man but poor husband. Been in a sexless marriage for 21 years and when I brought it up again (respectfully), her response was " You knew that I wasn't into sex before we got married " So it's my fault?? Who in their right mind would sign up for a sexless marriage? We have two great sons, I provide well for the family and my wife is a great stay at home Mom to my boys. She told me I have no idea about who I am and that I need to grow some balls. She never swears but threw a few F bombs at me while hitting me because she was so angry. I turtle ducked and took it. She has insecurities, but denies it and won't seek for answers. She wants me to connect emotionally more with her, but I can't crack her code and she won't give me hints on how to do that. She said that I am so selfish, if she had cancer I would still expect sex with her. If she was sick sitting in the corner of the room I would walk right past her with no regard.That is so far from the truth, and really can't believe that she thinks that. I wouldn't ever cheat on her but I also can't imagine a life without intimacy. Just not sure where to go from here.

[@landcruiseramerica2209]

prostate cancer happens with sexless mariages!

[@harrymlondobozi8605]

The JUCO is wide open, excuse the pun😅

[@shrimpman8422]

great video, you are the best

[@susanhaines7358]

I like to hear more about not worrying

[@morridx]

And the serpent explained that you are the sole source of judgment, of what is right and wrong; and so, you alone are the sole guardian of safety, security, and happiness. And she gave it to her man, and he ate...