38 | How to Become a Muslim Empath and Maintain an Elevated Nafs

[@shafanatoufiq]

I had tears rolling down everytime you said انا لله وانا اليه راجعون No words can appreciate all this you have said.We love you for the sake of Allah..❤❤❤ جزاك الله خيرا كثيرا

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Aww it's my pleasure to help :) x

[@Drfaiza-h1z]

This is one of my favourite podcasts...I listen to it whenever I think I need to refresh my emaan and tawakul..jazak Allah khair kaseeran dr mona..many prayers your way...❤

[@RK-qk7ow]

I can relate to the loss of a pet. We suddenly lost our beloved and special cat to a probable car accident. We never found out 100% it was her but from people's descriptions we so assumed. I never cried that much in my entire life, ever. My 14yo daughter was shocked, so I had to be there for her too. Alhamdulillah, I did remember Allah in an instant, but our daughter became angrier hearing words qadr Allah. It was a big test and new experience of deep grief for us both, subhan Allah. Alhamdullilah, after few days I found solace in the aya that states that all glory belongs to Him ta'ala. It helped me realise that His qadr is PART of that glory, subhan Allah. I also internalised that since Allah is her Creator, He definitely knows better than me or anyone else what's best for her. Whatever He does is best for us all. الحمد لله

[@shahinindorewala]

The rabbit story got me emotional ❤️‍🩹 may Allah protect and preserve you, ameen.

[@Salim_Maliki]

This podcast can be a game changer for Muslims but also for non-Muslims, as it reminds us of the importance of empathy but at the same time shows that one's empathy must also have limits in order to protect oneself. This means that one's own healing process can be improved or shortened but more importantly that one learns more self-control. I had to think a bit of the Quranic story with Khidr and Musa (as) while listening. Thank you for this brilliant podcast

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Thank you so much :)

[@Letyourlightshine333]

I’m in middle of it… everything seemed stagnant… like being in middle of ocean alone. I started to lose hope, but this episode awakened me to keep going, in particular the part when you mentioned the battle of khandaq even those super strong believers were on brink… but they persevered. Thank you, may Allah swt reward you.

[@joharahbintyunas5270]

السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته Sister Jazakillahu khairan for sharing these inspirational podcasts, Alhamdulilah, they are very beneficial atm of my life. Absolutely 💯 إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون May Allah bless and reward you and your family with an abundance of blessings and Aafiyyah for both worlds.

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Wa alaikom al salam, you're most welcome so happy you benefit from them

[@bedourmalek1130]

Thank you dr. Mona for these amazing mind blowing podcasts. I’m learning so much from them. Jazaki Allah khair. May Allah grant you alfirdous. Your podcasts are really helping me heal and be a better human. Thank you for teaching us how to level up the nafs. I love you so much doctora may Allah grant you happiness and so much khair in this life and after.

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

You're most welcome dear, so glad they're helping

[@farahhansen8206]

Assalamou alaikoum sister, I always listen to you, you’ve helped so much!!! Love from the Netherlands 🇳🇱❤️

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Wa alaikom al salaam, I'm so glad alhamdulilah thank you for your kind comment :) x

[@greentree7864]

Subhanallah! This podcast reaffirmed where love and attachment should be directed to, The Lord. I was even attached to my cats but this podcast has shifted my attachments to where it should be. May Allahﷻ preserve and protect you sister. May He reward you in this world and hereafter. Aameen 💜

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Ameen jazaki Allah khair I’m glad you enjoyed it x

[@AsheeqArt]

This was so so so beautiful - absolutely love it - xxx forwarding this one on now!!!! Thank you so so much!! May Allah bless you abundantly in every way!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Awww you're most welcome, glad you enjoyed it and that it helped alhamdulilah

[@Silver_lining1]

Me and my cat were looking at each other when she said not to attach ourselves to pets too 😂

[@dr.wealth5990]

😂🎉

[@purpleocean4806]

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. Love your channel. ❤. I have been through these things and resonate. Alhamdulillah. Do add timestamps in description to create "chapters" in long videos. Also link / thumbnail the related videos you mention on screen, for easier navigation. This might help people access your content inshaAllah

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Thank you for the comment/advice, I will do that inshallah :)

[@chrisanthemum6051]

JazakAllah khayr for yet another very beneficial podcast. Do you have any practical advice on how to mentally prepare yourself for calamity and become emotionally detached?

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

You're welcome :) I think the best way is to always remember how low you can go in your iman, health and mindset when and if you lose what you're so attached to and that will help you to create an emotional distance to avoid getting to that dark place. Lots of people got divorced, for example, never believing they ever would, but if you enter a marriage knowing that it may not be the one that lasts forever you'll be in a safer place. When women are pregnant, aside from all the excitement it's always best to mentally prepare for a possible miscarriage etc I'm not saying to always think of the worst, but ask yourself how you'd feel if you were to lose something or someone and if the answer is complete devastation, start to distance yourself emotionally and release some of that attachment. Hope that helps :)

[@saradigota7201]

Anyone good advice please? I would apreciate it very much. I have narcist parents and tryna distance myself from them nowadays to not sicken myself any further anymore but i find it very difficult at times like when i get lonely or when my parents stalk me again.etc.May Allah reward you inshaAllah for helping this sister out. :Ive went trough sexual abuse done by my sibling and my parents putted it away as if nothing happened, even putted me after that in the same room to sleep in same room of this abusing sibling for two years on a couch. My youth was never the same again. I always was depressed and confused of whats happening on young age. I was also never allowed to have friends cuz my parents and siblings would always interfere with it tryna have controle over éverything, so i never enjoyed friendships cuz of their overcontrolling behaviour that i didnt want friendships at all anymore cuz of the negative vibes they gave me. They would have always things to say about any of my friends behaviour and even the clothes they wear when they are with me.They told me i couldnt hang out with this friend anymore and i should thell em that untill they changed their clothed they are not allowed to hang out with me. Meanwhile my brothers were allowed to behave and do anything they liked and go out with any kinds of friends anywhere even if they are convicted criminals, they still were allowed. The opposite of what i and friends wear,behave and location of going was all monitored and controlled and discussed or insulted anytime. My mum would always come in between whenever we had visit of famly or relative, she never allowed me to talk, when i talked she would punish me afterwards instead by insults and arguing of discouraging communication with family or friends. Or had to put me on some kind of pedestal, instead of just be normal. Overeating was also a big thing, she forced me always to eat more than i could every meal, every day, gets angry when i say no i already have enough on my plate thank u. so i was always overweight to just keep the sanity at home. Once a relative noticed and told my mum it is abuse to keep your kid overweight indulging them with to much food instead of letting them just be kids and make them happy or communicate their needs. mum never changed and was always overweight herself too. i was only allowed to go to home or school. All my succeses or wants were either or put away or fully openly told to their relatives, they never kept anything between me and them as an amana,all my personal stuff was always put out there weirdly enough. My brother was even laughing in a bullying way with my father about my first new job and said like gerarrahere,we dont care about you and your job etc.my first job wich i was so proud and happy about.My brothers always would stalk me sometime unto my workplace or school, they would suddenly just show up out of nothing there. I could never keep a job because i never had a stable emotional growth cuz of them and anxieties everytime of the day. i always felt sick on the inside as i had to always keep strong outside. Always felt afraid to connect with people cuz i wasnt able to keep healthy relationships/communication, afraid telling anyone what i went trough as they wouldnt understand as i didnt even understand what was happening sometimes, cuz thats what narcists do, they attack you in very viscious ways,you almost cant even describe what just even happened. They are untill this day agressive and rage unto a point they are pushing me with their hands or even sometimes my mum hitted me when i was in a depressed and sick era after all this struggeling on my own with all this mental abuse when i was in my early twenties, my body just gave up,mentally. My mum was never allowed to work by my father,not allowed to have her own money troughout her whole life, so she relies untill this day on us the children. All the normal kids i knew always got a lil amount of money to buy little stuff but i never got it, not even the childcare money by law meant for the kids. My parents argue and yell at eachother exactly évery time they are talking with eachother,évery meal when together. My father has no compasion or imediate understanding when talking with him about anything whatsoever, hes narcistic and my mum eventually more so too. My mum got breastcancer eventually, and knee replacement surgery, cuz her body couldnt even stand all the damage of her being married to my dad, he was way more narcistic than her and anyone can ever handle. So thats why im very traumatised and wont settle for anyone to be married with cuz i get agatated or anxieties dealing with people who seem to have same narcistic traits. Im im my thirties now, i dont think ill ever marry (happily) cuz of all the traumas and i keep atracting toxic people, my parents and siblings always wanted a arranged marriage for me. Mum has some narcistic traits as well as she never had a mum in her upbringing herself, her mum died at an early age of 7 and is traumatised ever since, cuz she got abused as well by her stepmothers, and eventually fell in the arms of my narcistic father to marry him on a early age of around 16,and got her first kid this young, so it was an escape for her to marry him growing up in poor conditions without her biological mother. She seemed never really happy in her marriage with my dad cuz he isolated her fully of everything and everyone. I dont think mum has much more to live after her last surgery. I am only thankfull for her to have cared for me as she brought me up even if she did it mostly in a narcistic way by love bombing and after that attacking every action and word with my siblings or father but she did it whole heartedly with all she could and had. So im the one in very much pain right now cuz they are all i have left in my life even after all the narcistic abuse. And for my dad even he narcistic, he always tried to teach me about islam. Ive diceded for my own sanity and health when i was around 27 years to became more and more distant with them cuz i dont want to end up all sick to the point as like my mum but its also impossible to fully avoid your parents whom were with you your whole life and not having any other (good) people around as we mentioned above. I always think like, if i were a other kid, they wouldve left lóng time ago when the abuse began around 12 years old, but i probly wouldve ended on the streets, worse than i am now, cuz the help is very bad overhere for (muslim) children, grownups as well.

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Salaam, so sorry to know all this, you really need to book some counselling/therapy sessions whether it's with me or another therapist to help you navigate all of this. Please email me: [e-mail]

[@AllahsServant12]

When you shared your pet rabbit story, it made me cry.. it touched me so much as something similar happened to me with my pet fishes as well. I really didn’t think of it much but it all makes sense now… so I have lots of fishes but like you, there’s one particular favorite one (He was a Clown Loach). Even though I had lots of fishes, he was the only one I actually gave a name for. I loved him so much because he was very “entertaining” and had a funny personality to him. He would “play dead” in the aquarium, just literally lay down on the bottom and just act all cute as they are known to be this kind of fish. I mean what fish actually lay down to relax they just swim right? Lol Anyway, I lost him one day in an unexpected way as he was always very lively and swims around so I really didn’t expect it. Of course it made me sad and my husband got me a similar looking fish later on which was even more prettier than the one I lost. But now I don’t attach myself to any of the fishes because I don’t want to be sad anymore and not be attached. I definitely learnt my lesson. Alhamdhulillah for everything ❤ Btw, very informative podcast as always. May Allah always bless your hard work ❤ Jazakallah khair

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Aww bless you

[@AllahsServant12]

@@themuslimnarcissistbook indeed indeed. True and wise words ❤️ Allah loves us the most!

[@centeredmuslim3436]

I am also interested to know what happens when an empath(true momin) comes into contact with a narcissist and codependent (who by the way often flip roles over the years - after the slave has given enough they become the slavemaster). I like to think in the best scenario the codependent will wake up and take their power back and the narcissist in the scenario will lose their power over the codependent.

[@iqralala6244]

Asalaamalaikum, hello uou mentioned the prophet saw said leave toxic people behind but there is a hadith that says whoever cuts ties will go to the hellfire. Please elaborate because family members attack me saying that it is not allowed to cut off toxic people 😢

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Wsalaam please listen to my podcast about narcissistic Muslim parents and another one about siblings, the answers are in there :)

[@nanette644]

Thank you for this podcast. What about when Allah tests you with an 'apparent' blessing. When Allah (swt) gives someone (the narcissist) what they think it's a blessing. My husband always says to me that Allah loves him and blessed him in everything and gave him all he wanted. My husband has NPD traits, strong ones. 😢

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

You're welcome :) A narcissist will say that to make them look good, so when you have a hard life and don't get what you want it looks like you're the one who isn't normal or loved by Allah and then you start having iman issues. Allah loves us all and if he truly sees you as a blessing he will treat you that way. If he doesn't see you as a blessing and he is trying to affect your iman, you will be abused and used as narc supply. Narcissists get good people in their lives as life lines from Allah to get better and for their victims to learn important lessons about their self worth.

[@nanette644]

@@themuslimnarcissistbook Thank you so much. I really needed to hear that. I do believe Allah loves me. I am going through a lot at the moment with my husband but i also believe that his blessing is a harder test for him but he cannot see that because of his ego and arrogance. It is hard to cope but I know Allah is going to show me when to take THAT decision in sha Allah. 🌺💐 Jazakallah khair