4 Uncomfortable Reasons WHY People Don't Get Their EX Back (AVOID AT ALL COST)

[@blacademic]

Thanks for watching! To book a 1 on 1 coaching session with me, click here: calendly.com/breakupcoachtj

[@davidpicarazzi]

Time is the best thing. Trust in time, and eventually the roles will reverse where when they do reach out to you, you are completely unphased.

[@CiluhStyle1]

Almost

[@tubesurf17]

2 months no contact...she reaches out... hi- AFTER THE 10TH GUY, S EX WAS COOL BUT IM DONE AND U WANNA TALK...I REMEMBER THOSE UNIQUE TO U , ÀCTIONS /WORDS BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY HOW THEY MADE ME FEEL. LOL 😂UCOULD LOVE AND SAY IT THE MOST SHAKESPEARE WAY,,,,GUYS THEY DONT GIVE .001A SHXX. WHAT THEY REALLY MATTERS IS THEIR(WOMEN) ÒWN DAMN SELF . YOUR DEALING WITH A HUMAN THAT WILL LEAVE EVERYTHING FOR A MAN.KIDS.HUSBAND, AND A house . Guys the they(WOMEN )will leave everything and follow this a Hole to others ideas of pla n et,. Only them . Àsk coach . He'll say ,there r exceptions but yes is true. Oh, by the way... I lived it àlot of times .. once, but close bros.... alot. That man isnot!,,um love respect is fictional. Would respect a person capable of this . U got cow,n o milk buyinh.look it up. Then come apologize for y our this guy is full of shxt thoughts . LOL JK I WANT BEST FOR US M. WE R HURT RT NOW DICARDED AFTER WHAT EXGF NI. LIVED .CRUEL CRUELEST CRUELEST,., Oughts

[@vinpiazza04]

When I started listening to coach I was pretty much broken. Started applying his advice a little too late and she never came back. And I can actually say thank God she didn't. Through every dark night there's a Bright Day. If you're hurting right now I promise you it will end

[@blacademic]

Thanks for sharing man!

[@steeveabitbol2466]

🙏🏾

[@ghostkillz2176]

Thankyou brother. Right now it’s been 4 days and I reached out the day after and now I’m finally giving them space. I’m working on myself and bettering my life. If she decides to come back great if not then so be it.

[@fortheyarerandom]

​@@ghostkillz2176did she ever come back?

[@Cbchris2113]

My ex has that tattooed down her back 🥲

[@goldenlifelove7251]

I respected his decision & started no-contact immediately after the breakup. Someone that's not attracted to me anymore, doesn't want me romantically & who probably lied to me throughout the relationship is someone I'm not pursuing. I hope he reaches out to talk at some point cuz I have a million unanswered questions. But if I never get that opportunity, it is what it is. I don't wish him bad or good. I wish him whatever he deserves. NC is for my healing. The last 4 weeks have been hard & painful, but I'm in therapy & will get through this.

[@childofgod7455]

I going through this now

[@sams517]

Did he reach out yet?

[@moapettersson3630]

❤

[@asjabutler]

Did he reach out?

[@meepo4212]

This sounds like my story. Omg.

[@dat1tacoguy936]

If you have anxious attachment. Trust me. I lost someone too important to me because of it. Heal. For the love of god heal your anxious attachment. Get rid of it. It does you no good.

[@bentleybee3006]

What is “anxious attachment “ exactly? Thank you ❤

[@J3ff687]

1. Fear. 2. Lost of attraction 3. Time 4. Logic vs emotions Thanks a lot coach

[@nino_94]

Hello coach! I do not forget to put a thumbs up because you help me so much, and i appreciate the precision, the usefulness, the clarity, the realism, the research work, the empathy, the guidance, the models of understanding (like the recent story with Instagram models) and your true love for the subject and also for helping those who go through these difficult times of life. Thank you man to help me and all of us who go through a breakup. 👍🏾✊🏾☀️

[@raimaburn-a-bee8980]

after 5 months of NC my ex reached out and we meet up not only once but twice and after the second time we meet up and went separate ways he sent me a text saying that he needed to figure out what he wants, and I just never responded after that. Im okay if he decides to move on but at the same time, I have this small feeling that he will come back but for now I just got to work on self-improvement for myself!

[@_rsquared]

3:58 this was a phenomenal analogy. Thank you

[@toddblanco8493]

“Time is your friend” - feels like the complete opposite. You think as more time passes, they think you’re not interested anymore. No contact is counterintuitive, which is why it’s so difficult. I’m doing it right now. It sucks 😂

[@felicityayala1624]

Agree this sucks!!!! 😅

[@TurrkeySlap]

Women feel time more than men. They are more intuitive and in tune with their feelings, and time is not their friend. They are also immature, and impatient. But you on the other hand, is the opposite of that. Be strong fellas

[@KudzieKaykay]

You're the best Coach 👌 My favorite coach you have helped me a lot

[@KingFish-Beatz]

My ex is in a rebound right now. After like a month of no contact, she started reaching out saying that he is texting other women and doesnt make a lot of money. She texted me every few days but is still in that rebound. I told her two weeks ago that we shouldnt be texting while shes in a new relationship. Hoping it ultimately helps destroy the rebound

[@blacademic]

Yeah you shouldn’t be her therapist, especially discussing her relationship issues with someone else

[@KingFish-Beatz]

@@blacademic Thanks Coach! I'm curious to see how long she'll respect not reaching out. Its been 10 days so far!

[@jeffhedrich3551]

I notice you don’t spend a lot of time on uncomfortable reasons such as having ignoredred flags or character flaws. Why is that, or did I just miss those videos? Excellent content coach. Invaluable.

[@race10ftw]

Same thing for me, but my ex hasn’t contacted me. But we go back to college next week. I’ll see her there, but I hope her rebound isn’t there. And if he is I just have to out perform him.

[@KingFish-Beatz]

@@race10ftw dont bring attention to yourself man. Act like it doesn't bother you if you see them. They will take notice. Focus on you and do no contact until she reaches out

[@impogi832]

sometimes even though you chasing her and begging ..they will comeback except when you are an abusive bf or maybe a cheater but if you threat her nice they will comeback.. i chased my first gf for almost 5 months then i start to realize that there is no hope to fix our relationship so i start dating another women again on the next month then all of a sudden my ex bestfriend contacted and pleasing me to come see my ex because she was so drunked and crying for me.

[@epicbehavior]

If you’re coach Black, I’m coach White.

[@starbeauty672]

Thank you for this. I needed to hear this. You are truly amazing .

[@swifttaylor6768]

Hey coach thank you so much I learn a lot from this

[@lLuke.c]

But this wont work if they in a new Relationship already.

[@nvsm4943]

Dear Coach...I was always blocked, got unfriended after 38 days of no contact...I dont know what I did wrong..please guide

[@lokojo122]

2 year relation ship (aniversary was last month) was ended by her. I stoped contacting and we only need to switch our stuff (i gave her stuff last week but turned out we still have some things of another) so we were supposed to met yeasterday. It turned out it was too emotionaly chalenging and she was unable to met, so i realy belive she made a mistake becasue of her being scared of future etc (we are 23/24). I am now focusing on working out, learning how to box and improving myself to be better self. I have left in bag of stuf for her favoutire sweets with note that i am ready to talk if she were to change her mind, so she knows that during NC, she has a point to start conversation with + after i change myself ill just invite her out and see if we still got it, and for sure its going to be easier to move on if we lost spark forever.

[@theLupeXperience]

Hey Your story is similar to mine. Do you have an update on what's happened?

[@lokojo122]

@@theLupeXperience i did not give her note and there were some things along side. She knows that if she wants to have another shot at me, she has to text me and i might have give her another chance, but for now i found new girl to date.

[@theLupeXperience]

@lokojo122 thanks for this response. Did you ever return things to each other or did you just let that slide?

[@lokojo122]

@@theLupeXperience we traded stuff talked, she later wished me happy Bday, and we had rome trip planed before BU so we went on (diffrent hotels same plane). And after the fact i told her that i dont want friendship and if she wants anything to do with me she has to reach out and we separated

[@theLupeXperience]

@lokojo122 Do you mind if I DM you with my situation? It's very very similar to yours. I'm sure your advice will be most invaluable

[@Trulyblessedandgrateful]

We dated for a couple of months, the connection and passion was off the charts but I did something that showed insecurity (he basically told me 2 days before the breakup that he was never letting me go and would always be there for me)and he broke up with me due to the stress. I went IMMEDIATELY no contact and blocked him on Social Media so I'm on the right track. Do you think him coming back is possible?

[@dougedoug2105]

@nancymehring5475 Are you talking to other people?

[@Trulyblessedandgrateful]

@dougedoug2105 I am actually dating a really great guy now. It is going good. My ex texted me yesterday but I just sent back a thumbs up. I'm good. He didn't choose me and I need to know my worth and move on.

[@PeterChero-n8c]

Hi Coach, I’m loving your advice 😊 Is it possible for your ex to come back if an AVO has been placed on you. Thanks

[@thescooterhomie3677]

Does it work on dismissive or fearful avoidants?

[@blacademic]

Yes, do not chase an avoidant after a breakup

[@Mexica_702]

Any advice on how to approach after a few months of nc and there’s kids involved?

[@tubesurf17]

Is 7 months enough. ? I finally got my worth back. Focus me on rt thing. I known he doesn't measure up.

[@Heybighead2h]

Coach she messaged me on Instagram & I took my time responding. Before I responded she unsent the message

[@yadermercado4842]

Coach blac, my girl broke up with me a week ago because arguing and stuff like that. I ask her not to go and give us another chance but she said she wasn't sure and need it time to think. But she still texting me asking how im doing and call to make small talk . What should i do?

[@keletsomokone2663]

But why are we trying to get our exes back??

[@GabrielaPedraza-dx6kz]

Some of our ex’s weren’t the problem…

[@keletsomokone2663]

@@GabrielaPedraza-dx6kz all the more reason you should leave them alone.

[@GabrielaPedraza-dx6kz]

Have you never argued with someone you love? Things are not so black and white. People need time to grow.

[@keletsomokone2663]

@GabrielaPedraza-dx6kz You're right,it's not always black and white, but you don't break up with the love of your life because of an argument. Learning tactics to manipulate a person you claim to love is not growth.

[@Hijabi_girl1234]

I fight with my ex and he said we cant continue the relationshep i apologize him cuz i was wrong he took that decision we see each other everyday thats hurt me

[@Hijabi_girl1234]

@brunettakeller1199 how tell me help me

[@Ray0303lonewolf]

Be patient tawakul let go trust in god. prayer

[@jadenbeauchamp8836]

Coach what if your the dumper want them back does this apply to me as the dumper? she ignored my messages I apologized for the mistakes I made took accountability and responsibility. It was a short term relationship a couple months. I asked for another chance. I think she’s avoidant haven’t heard from her since the breakup it was thru text. A rash impulsive decision over a small argument. Idk if I have a chance still. I stay off social media not watching her stories or posting going on a week of that. It’s been a month n a half of NC and the breakup

[@Lovethyself887]

She could be the type that doesn’t give second chances once you dump her or give up on her and she chose to move on. She isn’t avoidant she is simply not down for second chances

[@timothymaimone8611]

Coach Blac… if a person is a decent human being, people come out of the woodwork to see how you’re doing, most of the time. An ex may come back and the relationship will change for both sides. Learn what caused the neediness and give people lots of space. Thanks for being there for me!

[@CiluhStyle1]

After 2 months of nc she reaches out...saying how things were better with me and that she sees she was the problem...but she wants to take it slow to be sure and work on her self so that if we do get back together i wont get the still damaged her....I made mistakes before...and when she reached out I responded perfectly except when she said she loved and missed me, I repeated it and we were on the phone for like 30 mon. Then next day 45 min then a week later 3 hours...but we argued a bit in the 3hr call....I'm back in no contact but she does think we needed time and she needs more time.

[@justina.sadecki]

do you believe in right person wrong time?

[@tiffanyedge3665]

Thanks for the Emergency Room analogy! Made perfect sense to this ER/Flight Nurse!💯

[@shelbyhenry4243]

Saving this video to watch when I feel weak in NC!! don’t reach out , give it time everyone and focus on yourself !! ❤️ much love to whoever is reading this , you’re not alone.

[@brownjordan0523]

Hey Coach Blac, I need your professional opinion. My ex recently ended our relationship all the way back in May 3 weeks before my birthday. But it was due to my ex having depression because things in her life went south. Long story short, her mom got caught cheating on her dad with some random guy. Her father obviously feeling angry and depressed left the country and went back home to Columbia. My ex not being in the right state of mind decided to end things with me and to be friends but I'm keeping things platonic from a distance. I've been practicing no contact for a while and my ex messages me out of the blue to get my attention. I keep it cool and casual not to be rude, but I'm not falling for the bait just like you said in one of your vids. I understand my ex's depression and why she let me go because she didn't want me in the middle of the drama. But it still hurts. She was the first woman I fell in love with in a long time, 5 years since someone else made me feel this way. I do still love my ex but I shouldn't be treated as a plan B or an option when she tries to see if the grass is greener. I wanna create a sense of abundance again but the pain is too much. I know this situation is probably different or similar to some of your clients, but what should I do?

[@Jakuboooooooooo]

For me, I’m frustrated cuz no contact didn’t help. She’s still mad abt what happened and I get the vibe that she wanted to see some effort and care from me sooner than later. I can tell from our recent convo that she’s not over me, but she still doesn’t want to open up.

[@jeromejackson1203]

I'm trying to save My Marriage because My wife is seeing someone else and started letting people put things in her head. So she can leave me.

[@jayjayhernandez5073]

I just want to fix us 😢

[@ladyT971]

These videos are so helpful

[@madskenneth262]

Im there now. Unfortunately. 6-7 weeks after she left. Im blocked 2 places. That happend 2+ weeks ago. The blocking. Cause I tried reaching out. Sadly. ❤. Although she did say day after / days after the break up that she never wanted to try again with me 😭.. And now she did cut all contact. Hurts so bad. From one day to an other 8.5 months just erased. 😢 still hoping.

[@keithingram761]

Brother out of all these folks who speak on realationships you are by far a great teacher and the way you draw similarities in everything is dope I’m definitely using your coaching tools but wether she reach out or not I’m learning about me and all my failed relationships I’m in the gym got my training certification I drive trucks for a living and the amount of money I’m saving I’m not gonna say I don’t miss her but I have enough resolve to go on with out her

[@VanTran-ls9bb]

My ex has been checking on me with the same message of “hope you doing okay” for like every 2-5 days. Do I really have to respond… He left me.. yet he find ways to be mad at me when I never reach out to him..

[@gemmagemmagemm1120]

you’re doing right by not responding. he’s looking for an ego boost. wondering how you could easily moved on. good for you!

[@ZanJd]

I wish this video would’ve came out 2 weeks ago I’ve made this mistake when we first broke up and I don’t know if there’s any way to recover

[@Olenka-n3h]

My ex reached out after month of NC, mixed signals: i miss you but don't want relationships. I was confident at first, but then become too available and a bit needy. 3 weeks of communication and now No Contact again, because he doesn't want relationships now. Is NC still effective?

[@shanicrystal8671]

I’d like to know this too, i feel like no contact will be less effective if you’ve applied it once then broken it!

[@andrewbenson8427]

I didn't start no contact until a bit over a week after she moved out, and yeah, drama and fighting and asking her to come back. Did I reduce my chances of her coming back to null? 4 year relationship.

[@robbello1000]

You're a good man coach, its always good to visit you're channel, you know some things are not meant to be, not everyone fits .

[@412xtaint]

I’m on day four, I started a new contact basically during the break up argument. She was accusing me of cheating. Then she said let’s just not talk anymore. I said my final piece and I haven’t actually answered her back since although that night she called me several times and left a bunch of really mean messages

[@chimuanyabrightmbaraonye7545]

My wife of 6yrs had been pulling away for months since she started trucking and wasn't coming home . We barely spend time together, I told her to request local load so she can be coming home every day but she refused. 2 weeks ago she said she want to be separated I said ok . We don't have kids but 2 cats and she said we will be coparenting the cats. Suddenly, she start calling to check on the cats , which she never check on them when she is gone. I gave her the space she want and went ghost mode no contact! I don't really answer her call , but I told her to just text. She came back last weekend and she didn't sleep inside the house. As a matter of fact she will not meet me @ home when she comes back during weekend. I will leave home for the weekend and I have decided that she won't see my face or hear my voice anymore, until probably she reach out to me and not just asking about the cat which she never care for. No contact is the key!

[@edgarberdeguer477]

How can I make my ex fall back in love with me

[@MrTheomighty1]

Coach blac. You read out my comment the other day on the live and my SP text me that same night and because I didn’t respond to her she messaged me the following morning and I said I was just busy with work which I was and that evening I commented and I haven’t heard from her. Coach blac you said she probably is keeping me around but is dating others she is definitely is not dating others she is losing her home due to her job not paying well.

[@MsTerrell4]

Im glad i heard this cause i always call him back to back..Im thinking this is what i was suppose to do

[@ale_1442]

I love your videos thank you so much for sharing so helpful!

[@Rubyruppells]

Coach Blac, hoping you see this. I love your videos. After 7 weeks of “break” but talking consistently, he doesn’t know if he wants to be with me, or what he wants from his life, that he needs time to think because he’s actually clinically depressed.. I’ve been waiting for him to make up his mind (he’s not seeing other people, it’s not that kind of break). 2 days ago I was burnt out, mad and told him to never contact me again, because I’m done waiting. I declared we are “broken up just like how you wanted”. Today is his birthday and I feel immensely sad, obviously wish we could work things out. Should I say happy birthday??

[@keletsomokone2663]

No don't. He doesn't want you, move on

[@GabrielaPedraza-dx6kz]

You don’t know these people

[@valeriecraig4015]

This is a brilliant video! Thank you!

[@LoneSilentWolf]

I’m pretty much in this situation rn told me she decided not to be in a romantic relationship with me and doesn’t want to lead me on or have me think we’ll be something down the line. Thought it would be best to cut back on communication so we don’t get comfortable or accustomed to talking everyday. I just told her I understood and went no contact. Been 5 days now 💪🏽 hanging in there.

[@blastinblanks9792]

Any updates?

[@sheenacarol265]

Almost 4 months, NC. Waiting for him. I have not called or text him. God bless you for your Advice. I will give you an update if he calls me.

[@FioccoCockatoo]

Did he?

[@RandomUserAct]

Did he?

[@eustacesmith9635]

❤ u always on point

[@babydii3487]

My ex thought i had sex with another man in the very beginning of our relationship. We broke up, i chased. 5 years later he has the proof and confession that I NEVER cheated. I just want us to forgive and respect each other. Its been long and rough but i never stopped loving him and im just glad that he knows the truth regardless whether we get back or not 💯💯💯💯💯

[@babydii3487]

@@comparecards5688 Thank you!!

[@Mew2Win]

He must be a Iooker👀

[@Eblade19990]

This video 💯 💯!

[@denisselee6544]

Perfect timing. It’s been 2 weeks since I received a message from my ex right so it was so close to send him a message but thank goodness I didn't it. I truly appreciate your content coach.

[@dfateekh]

Thank you!!!❤

[@oemamira]

Dear Coach Truelly last Sunday we had an Amazing day with each other going out and laughing (after the first moment that day that hé was saying leave me alone and shut his door) but Yesterday Monday he was kindly and we are talking and laughing but at the end he hurt me a lot with words before i went to my place Hé was saying there is no we and i think you are living a movie, which movie to you live? That was Hurting me a lot, now he unblocked me in whatsapp but there is DISTANCE So far my situation ( we are coming from 2 divorces where i decided to break, but I regret and want him back)

[@tubesurf17]

Could it be that since she said bye it makes he embarrassed and scared of rejection. Could that be it

[@amyrowe8014]

Your a cool guy plus your helping me. Ty God Bless. I wish I could talk to you and get some insight. This is they biggest thing I do need your insight. Amy. From Indiana

[@dillo5881]

My ex split with me a week ago, and went on about how I never did anything right, so I went back and forth trying to communicate with her for a while that night, it got more heated and she said I’m done. I haven’t contacted her since but she unblocked me on social media yesterday. What does this mean??!!!!

[@pRINcEsA_bArBiE_2002]

Hey Coach Can you do a video about limiting beliefs on both sides? How to recognize, what to do and say, how to overcome. Can you touch on what to do if you sabotaged the relationship?

[@couldstrife1]

Everyone says time is the thing, but it’s killing me and I’m not getting any answers. Had one of their friends message me yesterday saying I need to stop. But I don’t know what I need to stop I’ve gone NC im not friends on socials as she’s removed me etc im so confused

[@trinilassieify]

We broke up about 1 week ago and I didn’t respect the contact rule he was mad and said he never wanted to get back together and if I continued he would block me. He hasn’t blocked me as yet. Do you think with time he would come back

[@Imani.Nieves]

I wish I found your videos sooner before I did everything advised not to do. So now I don’t know what to do regarding everything. I did not give time and space

[@bipbop7231]

Coach makes so much sense. Best internet relationship coach, by far.⭐️

[@indyp21500]

What happens if they ask for space and then they keep hitting you anyway what do you do . Basically he is bread crumbing me he asked to break up but is immediately messaging me calling me and texting me , but when i suggest lets get together its the same "we dont align, we dont want the same thing"

[@Heybighead2h]

It’s her birthday coach

[@KendraWalker-z4t]

I ain't do nothing for him to leave he said it was over my kids wasn't he's was a lil bad

[@curtiscrump6076]

Unadulterated Truths

[@evagonzalez1170]

What if both people are doing no contact

[@CryptoFiend]

I have a hella complex situation and wondering if you do any one on one?

[@goldenlifelove7251]

He literally said u can book a 1:1 @ click the link in the description

[@nova12332]

I did all of this already.... shit. Applying NC since monday

[@sandybell6906]

Iam dekighted becouse your followers are getting bigger day by day.. You deserve millions to follow you ❤

[@PierreJonesJr]

Thanks coach

[@alexsakyiama1769]

Thank you so much

[@jenuwineblu450]

This is not true in my situation. I’m done done & haven’t looked back. I don’t plan on reaching out. Even tho he keeps calling & watching me on social media. I’m the dumper & he could never get me back. It’s been 2 months out of a 13 yr stretch.

[@Lovethyself887]

This video isn’t for you. This is for dumpees

[@johnguzman8637]

What if my ex was my friend for 12 years before dating then got put back into froend zone. She still texts me everyday but is very hard for me to he in this position

[@Mummabear543]

Don't reply John, don't be friend zoned it's not fair. Unless you want to just be "friends" go find the one who won't make you feel that way x it's hard I know but rise above her x

[@rayonbrown544]

What is no contact should I block her?

[@Mummabear543]

Stay off social media. Don't post anything. Just no contact. Let them have time to think. Its hard but we can do it 🎉

[@kinaction7040]

Leave the Muslims out of it bro

[@blacademic]

Did my comment come off as negative about Muslims? Obviously not my intent just giving an example I have heard more than once. Always open to suggestions

[@kinaction7040]

Not negative. Keep up with the self improvement content

[@ssirin9021]

@@blacademicI’m Moslem and didn’t feel offended at all. Was a good example

[@sarairivera-cintronmsw1548]

There’s a reason why they’re my exes I don’t want them even if they came back. No thank you I don’t go backwards I go forward always. 🔥🔥

[@coldbeing5420]

When you mention blocked, does that still count for being removed off social media? We were seeing eachother for 3 months, long distance. She deleted me off instagram and facebook but the same night messaged me on snapchat. Doesn't make any sense. After she said she was busy to get together, I told her we'll figure it out. She sends me a blacked out pic, so I left her on read. She deleted me off snapchat. She never communicated that she needed space or anything. It's been months since this happened, I just wonder if she'll come back around.

[@mr.g2211]

Fuck’em

[@mrjunayd8643]

Sack her off g plenty fishes in the sea you will get a nemo fam

[@coldbeing5420]

@@mrjunayd8643 She coming back around my hometown in 3 months to stay. I just feel like something is there

[@sharonfralix5831]

Good morning

[@nottoday9223]

My ex broke up with me 1 week ago to the day. She told me to be chill about the situation and not block her on social media...I ended up blocking her because I wasn't sure of her true intentions and when I asked she said she doesn't not want me in her life. I just don't understand why she would want me on social media but not in real life? Was it the right thing to do? 😔

[@mronuryilmaz]

@blacademic Hello sir! Thank you for your all advice. İt helps a lot. İ want to ask you and everyone one thing. My ex reached out to me last saturday night, 3,5 month after. She ask me to come to my house. İ said yes. She came, we suddenly make love when i open the door. After that we talk about the common things. No fight no anger. We sleep together that night. So we woke up, she kissed me very poorly. Said see you and gone. After that we didnt talk. What is this? Should i wait more or ask for a luch or dinner?. İs this a breadcrumb? She has birthday. İn two weeks. İ’m so desperate right now