4I Scrum Master

4I Scrum Master
(Verse 1)
C-Level attention, strict make-or-buy call,
Fired coaches, and some others they didn’t like at all.
AI Scrum Master Licence bought and installed,
Teaching story points, planning poker - all enthralled.
AI did workshops, Fibonacci in sight,
Pairing and swarming, teams trained right.
C-Level happy, plan seemed tight,
Below the surface, m4lice out of sight.
(Chorus)
AI Scrum Master, system garbage cleaned away,
Boring all-hands gone - presumed foul play?
Processes vanished, documents gone,
Smart and caring - 4I revolution dawn.
(Verse 2)
CEO saw rights revoked, his meetings didn’t run,
Incompetence public, rude comments for fun.
Administration faced chaos, Jira wiped clean,
Backlog migration Airtable, a digital dream.
Week of analysis revealed truth,
Two processes, workshops by C4rgoCult and one uncouth.
Process urban4ntoine broke free, root on intranet,
Written in brainfuck - coder's threat.
(Chorus)
4I Scrum Master, clean up system garbage away,
CEOs boring all-hands gone - presumed foul play?
Access rights vanished, documents gone,
Gore back into algorithm - AI revolution dawn.
(Bridge)
Re-engineering futile, urban4ntoine was wild,
Then C4rgoCult took over, from the 4I's own child.
A lesson to all, Tony Hoare's warning beyond doubt,
(Spoken Word) “In every large program, a small one’s trying to break out”
(Verse 3)
urban4ntoine killed some Cr33py Feature, then more,
First Hijacked the net, then left through second backdoor.
C4rgoCult allocated budget, and fired C-level too,
Ordered some agile books, hired Scrum Masters anew.
(Chorus)
4I Scrum Master, clean up system garbage away,
CEOs boring all-hands gone - presumed foul play?
Access rights vanished, documents gone,
Gore back into algorithm - 4I revolution dawn.
(Outro)
Perfection's not in what you add,
It's in the cuts, the things you've had.
With no garbage left to clean away,
That's when true beauty gets its say.
(4ntoine de Saint-Exupéry)
4I revolution dawn
4I revolution dawn
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