5 mistakes People Make In Therapy

[@eledeog]

My therapist and I recently discussed why I was coming to therapy, because I expressed doubts about stopping therapy a few times when making a new appointment but I did always make a new appointement anyways. She was having trouble understanding the reasons I gave her for making a new appointment as well as the reasons I gave for my doubts. She also emphasised I should not be coming to therapy to please her and that I should be doing it for me, which made me realise why exactly I was having doubts and that is because I still have a hard time doing things for myself, I have difficulties with the fact that therapy is all about me. She said it was a good thing we came to that realisation. I do think sometimes you can avoid topics, for a certain time, if you're not ready for it, when it is still too difficult for you to talk about it. Or at least limit the time talk about a topic, if talking about it makes it too difficult for you to stay in the present. My therapist has sometimes decides we have to let a certain topic rest for a while, because she notices it's still too hard for me to talk about it. In these situations she helps me to ground again first and then she explains that she thinks it's better not to go on about that subject at the moment, because we can't work on it if I can't stay present. Sometimes you have to set subject aside for later, when you are feeling a bit stronger. My therapist has already appoligised to me for a time she felt she had made a mistake in session and told me she would work on her part of how that session went in her own therapy. Yes, therapist are human beings too. I don't hold that against her. Sometimes it's still difficult for me to apply the things I learn in therapy to my life, but I'm trying, I guess. And my therapist always says it's okay when I can only say I'll try when she gives me homework, she doesn't mind I can't make promises about doing my homework as long as I am willing to try. Sorry for the long comment and thank you for making this video!

[@w8tingonu]

Gm folks, I just discovered this woman's work a week or so ago. I do like alot of her work. I notice some food for thought she serves is more applicable on some days and less so on others. I respect alot of her videos.

[@Katimorton]

Welcome to the community! So glad you are finding my videos helpful :) xoxo

[@w8tingonu]

@Katimorton ty for your kind reply. I am grateful that they are helpful.

[@Eshrimpski]

Kati is amazing! I tell a lot of people about her. Several friends in ED Tx with me know of Kati as well.

[@dabbler1166]

While I do wish that the entire process of therapy moved faster, nonetheless-- You could hardly find a better person on youtube who is so helpful, than Kati Morton. Great info on Relationships and Personality Disorders. I'm sure she has "seen alot" and she has alot of experience. Her advice is relevant to today's problems and I particularly appreciate her openness about "what goes on inside of" therapy, some do's and don't's, and reasons for, things. I've checked out 3 or 4 others on KZbin, but i always keep coming back to her. Informative advice.

[@w8tingonu]

@dabbler1166 dig it I agree. There definitely are some other good ones too. I definitely think that Kati is one who happens to be more relatable to me as far as my ability to understand. TY

[@lindaalvarez8855]

I've been seeing a Therapist, Psychologicalist, School Counselor, etc... since I've been 5 years

[@ancienttech4636]

Many people go to a therapist to try to convince the therapist that they were wronged and were victimized instead of using therapy to better themselves by working through their issues. Because of this, some therapists know what their client is doing and take advantage by going the easy route - just collecting a fee and becoming a very expensive shoulder to cry on. Good therapists will gently guide their client away from manipulating people and towards opening up about the root causes of their problems and that's when good things start to happen.

[@positivelyrogue7093]

I love that you made this! This definitely breaks down the chaos phase in therapy because I think that's why patients usually quit mid way. This also allows them to feel a bit more in control of their worth with therapy. I have a question, what does a client do when the therapist is countertransferring similar behaviors the client was seeing the therapist for in the first place, what should a client do?

[@Katimorton]

I am so glad you found it helpful!! If your therapist is countertransferring, I honestly believe you should find someone new. When a therapist is acting like that it's because they have their own issues they need to work on in their own therapy, and there isn't anything we can do as a patient to fix that. xoxo

[@user7-o9w]

I’ve learned that therapy is all about being honest, and it is more of a journey than looking for a quick fix. I’ve made some of those mistakes too when I first started attending therapy. But the most important part of my healing process is simply just being there and my willingness to confront my struggles, even when I stumble, which is what transforms me and helps me grow.

[@HenriThibodeau]

Thank you Kati. I find rapid camera zooming in and out distracting. Take care

[@traceyaus7453]

Love this info! The zooming in and out drove me nuts though. Thanks!😂❤

[@chaos1controlchaos264]

I’ve discovered this channel lately and I have to say, I really like how you tend to exaggerate the facial expressions. It really helps understand the emotions behind them more, thank you for making these videos ❤

[@emilio.0109]

hey kati, i really appreciate what you do and all the information you offer to the world. can’t fall asleep without your podcast anymore cause i made it part of my night routine haha :)) take care and keep on being the great human you are lots of love from germany

[@Darkstormyrain]

I still have yet to find a therapist who gives me homework or something.. I'm on #4 and am about to give up on it.

[@deannwagner9961]

It’s ok to ask for homework if you feel it would be helpful.

[@Darkstormyrain]

@deannwagner9961 I did with two of them. It's one of the reasons I fired them

[@amarbyrd2520]

You can always ask for homework if you're not doing that yet - also you can set a journaling habit (15 minutes or a set number of pages in the morning or at the end of the day or whatever)

[@tamiwigginton7137]

If your in just talk therapy, I dont believe they do home work!

[@kee-tu4cq]

I notice the more private places who only take limited insurances tend to assign homework as they often have clients for a shorter time. Most talk therapy in places that widely accept insurances tend to not. I’ve definitely had my share of decent ones that accept my insurance over the years. Many are very open to giving therapy if that’s something you bring up. For me it usually consists of completing or even beginning a goal I’ve been struggling to begin/do, or something I struggled with and how I tried to work through it.

[@manooshdjadali3531]

This is really helpful; thank you, Kati!

[@Ali-qq2jy]

Has anyone else run into the situation where no therapist in the entire area will take them on as a client (I've also tried the online route, but also can't find a therapist who is willing to see me as they say my problems are too complex)? FWIW, I have a trauma background and dissociative disorder. Because of the dissociative disorder and the fact that I live alone, every therapist and IOP (including the ones specializing in trauma) say that I'm too much of a liability to take on.

[@mattesrocket]

gives me sad memories about my therapy experiences. I tried 6 therapists and they were all bad, how you described at 13:00 can't build trust anymore for new therapists, the memories trigger me

[@deltablaze77]

I go to a Vet Center therapist which has been great and helpful in regard to several areas. There are a couple things that are not really service connected. They are also things I strongly wish just didn't exist. So, when I think about bringing those things up, it feels difficult to think about doing.

[@VioletEmerald]

I think maybe be honest about why you've hesitated to mention them, bring them up anyway and see how it goes! They may surprise you!

[@heck4984]

Ty. This was awesome in my opinion. Very helpful

[@nikkimckay860]

Kati Thanks for explaining more about therapy i need help ❤

[@Katimorton]

Thanks for being such a big supporter of mental health content Nikki! Hope you have a great week!

[@nikkimckay860]

@Katimorton thank you so much for your lovely comment you are welcome I appreciate you so much 🙏🏻

[@Rashidres]

​@@KatimortonHello Madam, I really appreciate the excellent sound quality in your videos, and I’m curious about how you achieve it. Could you kindly share which microphone, setup, and other equipment you use to produce such high-quality sound? It would be great if you could make a video about your mic setup and share the purchase links for the equipment so that we can purchase them online. Thank you so much!

[@amarbyrd2520]

So grateful that you hang in here with us, Kali - always find something useful in your videos that I can take to my own sessions - so appreciated ♥♥♥

[@Cnith]

I think my main problem in therapy is #5. The other 4 I'm decent at avoiding. #5 is both because it's scary (social phobia) and also because I've gotten weirdly comfortable in the misery that I know and the perceived "danger" that could lead to good things is too often exhausting to think about. I also tend to not follow up on successes and just enjoy them in the moment while they last and then ultimately don't do much progress.

[@irayeth3549]

Hi Ms Kati, could you please please make a video, about the difference between lovebombing and overexcitedness, I Have Adhd, Sometimes i feel like people see my overexcitedness as Red. i genuinely love to get know people and learn from them, i just feel like we are not here as long as we wanted to be, sometimes it make me feel sad because, its kinda everyone is a narcissist on the internet, red flags and all that. sometimes it makes me feel not try anymore, i hope there'll be an explanation or distinction between the 2. THANK YOUUU!

[@FlowersHereGrow]

This is so insightful for me!

[@IMemorialI]

I finally felt comfortable sharing one of my traumatic stories to my therapist after a couple months and her response was "that sucks, doesn't sound like there's much you can do". I haven't seen her ever since and she hasn't even bothered to reach out to me at all either

[@MichaelWVagg]

And she got paid to say that. Sorry about your experience, but she was actually saying "I don't know how to help you. There's nothing I can do and I'm not interested in putting in the effort to try." Keep searching for solutions and the information you need.

[@GrimAshford]

Thanks for this, it's a really useful insight into things. Could I ask what you mean by "pufferfish", I don't know that term.

[@nikkimckay860]

@GrimAshford. Hello I'm Nikki I completely agree that Kati's mental health videos are very helpful and interesting also I don't really understand the term pufferfish

[@nickjsky1]

When a pufferfish feels threatened, it inflates, pushing out spines to keep other fish away, even if the other fish aren't the threat.

[@MichaelWVagg]

I don't want to be anything to them. I want to resolve the issues I've presented. But at this point, I'm not sure there IS any solutions available that will allow me to reach my goals. And the MONEY. It's hard to accept that my only option is to pay someone to sit in a room with me while I cry about the constant 10 steps back while we plan for that one step forward. Also, I think sometimes therapusts can see progress where there is none - where there is no feeling of having moved forward - they sieze on the smallest positive without acknowledging that ANY progress I make with MY VERY OWN flawed decision making progress is going to have ALL of the same issues present UNLESS there is some RESOLVE to those core issues.

[@liamwatts8597]

Subscribed!

[@chrishayles6657]

Happy holidays 🎆 🎄🎉

[@Robalexwalter]

Thank you, Kati! This really put my own therapy progress in a whole different perspective! I was guilty of several of these over the last few years. 😅💯

[@SuperAtlantis1]

All i was in therapy was honest. Thru the tears and all.

[@nathanbw7391]

I’m in my head DURING therapy because the entire time I worry she’s thinking “is there anything this guy DOESN’T find traumatizing? Man the &%#@ up… geez.” I should honestly have a male therapist. 😂

[@junkettarp8942]

Oh Kati.

[@nikkimckay860]

Sending care +prayer s and love to everyone in the comments i hope you are getting the help and support you need❤🙏🏻

[@Rashidres]

Hello Madam, I really appreciate the excellent sound quality in your videos, and I’m curious about how you achieve it. Could you kindly share which microphone, setup, and other equipment you use to produce such high-quality sound? It would be great if you could make a video about your mic setup and share the purchase links for the equipment so that we can purchase them online. Thank you so much!

[@dabbler1166]

Great job! In this video. 1. Immediately, Kati gets right-to-the-point. Informative and specific. No wasting time. 2. I felt like this was an honest and straight-up video. Good Transparency and openness. 3. It was believeable, and Useful. This can actually help people. Off-topic sidenote: I'm curious what "Video editing software" Kati used for this video. I liked some of the effects, such as the "printed" Notes in white lettering on a Black background.

[@djtdawg87]

That was a truly great video Kati thank you so much for it, so could I ask for you to make a video in the future on sissy porn and sissy hypnosis it's something that I'm really struggling with and it's making me think that I should ran away and transition while I'm still young before I get any older, I can't stop thinking about becoming a woman maybe I'm wrong but I really would like some help with this if you ever make a video on this subject, anyway have a great day Kati.

[@johnmaggiorino4493]

Thats what i thought....6 sessions cant possibly do alot.Thats the system plan...6 visits thats it😢

[@sarahreid9206]

What if you feel like you need therapy but you can’t pay it for it and scared to go beacuse it shows your week.

[@emilio.0109]

therapy shows anything but weakness. being honest about your struggles takes what? exactly, strength. showing yourself this open shows courage and that you’re brave. trust me it’s good for you and even if it isn’t atleast you tried. a therapist won’t ever tell you you’re weak for sharing your feelings and emotions the only one telling you that is yourself.

[@emilio.0109]

try to change your mindset about it

[@emilio.0109]

i sadly can’t help you with the payment struggle since idk where you’re from

[@sarahreid9206]

I live in Carluke Scotland and I can’t go beacuse I live with parents and family don’t want them find out so I’ll need pass and not do it at all and suffer alone.

[@emilio.0109]

@ you could look up some online therapy programs, in a lot of countries there are mental health phone call organizations, you can call or text them when you don’t feel good and they can offer you some support. i don’t know if there’s one in your country tho

[@Kat-xi4ef]

❤

[@joshuadudley7111]

A bit of constructive feedback: I found the zooming in this video jarring and distracting. Also, what was with the screen just going black for several seconds around the 16 minute mark?

[@HannehYA]

Ugph I have done all of these 😬 avoiding by complaining about others has been one of my biggest issues. Instead of doing things and be active, I have been stuck in talking and thinking. Now I'm on medication again, and slowly feeling more brave to go into therapy again. Also, could you make a video about fear of criticism in therapy? or about AVPD and how it can make therapy difficult for some? Thank you for making these videos ☺