5 Things Christians Say to Convince Themselves They are not Gay

[@pointerdogmarketing2197]

A lot of this lingered even years after I officially became an atheist. It got embedded deep.

[@KellyRMinter]

Hearing that 💛💛💛

[@maketheworldabetterplace5624]

This is refreshing to hear. I struggle with religious ocd. Really seems like it won't go away sometimes.

[@Reed5016]

Honestly, I think I myself might struggle with it. Not to self-diagnose, but I relate to the symptoms.

[@Pablosan7]

I used to be a womanizer at times, cheated on my ex a lot over the years, was addicted to porn since around 13 years old, became an even bigger addict of camgirls for about 4 years, always finding the most extreme nymphos… then in 2021 I realized that I was actually unable to stop and thats when I heard about repenting to Christ, having never been a true believer not knowing about what the Bible truly says, even though I was confirmed in the protestant church and on rare ocasions went there at christmas times… boom! The instant I repented (not knowing if it would work, but I truly felt the need for help) I started bawling my eyes out then realising that I was truly a sinner (kind of like when Neo woke up from the Matrix not knowing about reality), I stopped that very same day, even though I had tried several times to stop over the years, deleted all my porn, which I had been saving for many years some of it more than 15… today almost 3 years later I live in total celibacy, not having looked back since, have been healed on from a lot physically and mentally (fear, porn brain ect) On top of that I was able to let go of my extreme anger, to the man who raped me when I was a boy, and got rid of the shame that weighed as a heavy cloud for all those years… And I had really tried a lot to work through that for many years, didn’t really get anywhere until Jesus took it away from me and set me free! Halelujah! Do I believe people can have religious ocd? Yes, when they’re not born again as a Christian… so please, take it from me and all the other amazing testimonies here on yt, don’t give up on Jesus! 🙏🕊️ “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” ‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1‬:‭7‬ ‭KJV‬‬ “Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” ‭‭John‬ ‭3‬:‭3‬ ‭KJV‬‬

[@maketheworldabetterplace5624]

@Reed5016 I definitely feel like there's a difference between a natural wonder of the universe and desire to know more about the existence versus trying to change oneself for align with social norms that are always changing. For me I got spiritual to try to change myself unfortunately due to orthodox Christian roots. Now I'm in a seeking mode but really am just crossing my fingers to be my true bubbly self.

[@maketheworldabetterplace5624]

@@Reed5016 what are your symptoms?

[@Reed5016]

@@maketheworldabetterplace5624 I had an obsession with behaving in a moral manner, brutal thoughts about going to hell that wouldn’t stop, etc. I don’t know a bunch about religious OCD, but I was at a point in my younger years that I was so obsessed with religion that it was constantly on my mind, and I believed that I had to force myself to enter into a heterosexual relationship without wanting it to appease God. In my mind, suffering for God was the best possible thing anyone could do, and since heterosexuality was something that disgusted me, I thought that God must want that for me.

[@KelleyMeyer-f9h]

Great points! You can’t pray away the Gay! You are who you are…God made us this way! 🙏🏳️‍🌈🇨🇦❤️😊

[@katielangsner495]

I would add 1 more thing: Rape is natural sexual desire out of control. This is key: Rape is about power, about self-exaltation at another's expense by treating the other like an object. Sex was between owner and owned in the ancient world and the Bible reflects that; now many powerful church leaders (mostly men) strive to preserve that dynamic as "God's plan". Many a heterosexual church leader can crave power and self-exaltation, but can't imagine being gay. Thus claiming to be gay is seen as a power play against God and a betrayal of church leadership.

[@veggiet2009]

It's crazy but it's accurate. Which is why what is deemed as "rape" in the Bible was only a big problem when the woman was already married or belonging to another man. And today so many particularly evangelicals elevate the passages which treat women as property when covering "relationship advice" they can't seem to imagine a partner as their equal so why would they imagine their "equal" as a partner

[@ChristianCatboy]

@@veggiet2009 I guess they're ignoring Galatians 3:28 "...there is no (distinction between) male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." 😇😸⚧

[@KathrynW3297]

It's really stupid that some people think sexuality is a choice. Like why would I choose to be discriminated against. Why would I choose to be called selfish. Why would I choose to be the minority in a heterosexual world. It's just frustrating that people think we want to be treated like this

[@KellyRMinter]

100%. I'm actually convinced that people who genuinely think that it is a choice are people who are actually quite miserable with who they are and/or who they are partnered with and they just assume that everyone is miserable always just like them.

[@ylana4444]

Ok this is hard to explain bare with me… I get that we don’t have a choice 100%….totally agree Now let’s flip this coin or juxtaposition …..what if we did have a choice and chose to be a minority or discriminated against ? I’m kinda like….what would be wrong with that? Are we judging even that? Sure no one wants to be discriminated against or be a minority…or do they? Sometimes I like being in minority because I feel special or seen…but maybe this is beside the point and honestly? I don’t even know what I’m getting at… maybe I’m seeing my deeper wounds….of being neglected or not being enough…I do know for a fact I did not choose to be gay. I just happen to be attracted to women, and that’s just my truth. I’m just wondering why I created this juxtaposition? 🤷🏼‍♀️😆

[@DrayseSchneider]

Every 👏 single 👏 talking 👏 point! Daaaaaamn

[@KellyRMinter]

Thank you for watching 💛💛

[@timnewman1172]

I look at it as concentrating on what Jesus taught... instead of asking "What would Jesus do", ask what DID Jesus do! The answer is very different from what so many so-called "christians" say!

[@dylans0630]

Amen 🙏 to that

[@joshheitman6832]

Amen Tim! By the way, we miss seeing you over at Church Without Walls. What have you been up to lately? You must have been real busy. I should let Rev Ed know I saw you here during tomorrow afternoon’s (tomorrow morning my time) or even Saturday’s livestream

[@timnewman1172]

​@@joshheitman6832 doing well, thanks for asking!

[@ChristianCatboy]

Ouch. I probably do have "religious ocd", as my own therapist has suggested more than once.

[@KellyRMinter]

I've got a video coming out about that in a few weeks, but if your therapist has made the suggestion then it *may* be worth looking into 🩷🩷

[@emilycryder1096]

Queer here-Asexual and a progressive Christian. A truly accepting, progressive congregation would not say it's unacceptable to have a same sex relationship. That's still conservative, Evangelical in my book and something to steer well clear of. I also have OCD (diagnosed) that's also touched on religion more with regarding salvation. I didn't realize I was Asexual till my 30s. It wasn't so much who my parents expected me to be as I wasn't raised with Evangelical nonsense, but what I expected for myself. I expected I'd have sex, a boyfriend, blah blah, but those things didn't pan out- I just didn't meet anyone. And looking back it was because it was what people just did. Most people want and have sex, a relationship eventually, right? And I was hardly attracted to anyone in hindsight. I didn't have that "hunger' that people talk about when the talk about sexual attraction. When I had a boyfriend the thought of having sex with him disgusted me and I hated sexual touch. Oh well, a one off I thought. There'd be more. But there weren't. He was my only boyfriend. I rarely found anyone hot but I did so I couldn't be Ace right? Turns out Asexuality is a spectrum, and you don't need to be devoid of attraction completely. As luck would have it I don't feel attraction to anyone. I'd assumed I was straight all my life as I'd had a few crushes on guys, so coming to terms that I wasn't was a shock, as Asexuality wasn't talked about. Regarding God, my aunt is also progressive Christian and she assured me being Ace had no bearing on God's love for me. Or anyone regardless of one's sexuality. Hearing other queer people say that they felt God accepts them just as they are solidifies this belief for me. I figured if God wanted me straight and allosexual He would have made me so.

[@KellyRMinter]

Right, which is why I said "more", not "actually accepting". Because the congratulations and denominations that still believe this (and, to be fair, this is more micro than macro these days) say it with the air of being "understanding" and "kind" because people "cant help it" but don't want people to "act on their sin". Giant eye roll, because it's still gaslighting. Which is why it's part of the video, bc it's still bs.

[@timnewman1172]

As an older cis/ace guy I 100% agree with you... except I didn't discover what Asexuality was until a few years ago. To complicate it further I have a strong libido, which is definitely a curse as I close in on 60! What I have learned is that there is NOT someone for everyone and that is absolutely OK! I do not NEED a partner to "complete" me, I am fully complete on my own!

[@Becoming0ne]

The irony that you would post this today. I am religious. This is the last ‘queer media’ I will be consuming for the next 4 months, in an experiment and last ditch effort to try and salvage my heterosexual marriage and life as I know it. I married when I was 20, had 6 kids whom I homeschooled. Two years ago, I realised I am gay and it is tearing me apart. My husband, my children, my financial security, my faith community, disappointing my grandmother, undermining everything that I ever taught my children, losing my future dreams, maybe never meeting anyone who will love me like my husband loves me. That is what I stand to lose. Basically everything. And yet, I can’t stop this pull inside of me to seek a relationship with a woman. I feel like I’m white knuckling my way through ever moment of every day. It’s tearing me apart. To stay or to go. There is no peace and solace in either decision.

[@Pablosan7]

@@Becoming0ne please don’t give up! 🙏 I was a slave to lust addicted to p*rn, serial cheater, struggling with anger and self-loathing (was rapped as a boy by a man), my addictions went on for almost 30 years, didn’t know anything about repentance and asking Jesus for help, until about 3 years ago… the same day as I repented Jesus broke my chains and I stopped watching p#rn and camgirls, I was unable to do it for years even though I tried several times, today almost 3 years has gone by and I live in total celibacy (until I’ll meet a wife) I have true peace in my life now… this is the second time I share my testimony on this video, but the forst got removed … The spiritual war is very real! The heart is indeed decietfull, and when your flesh is stronger than your spirit you’ll eventually give in to it… so you need to truly repent get born again and then feed yourself with the word of God, please please don’t give up! 🙏♥️🕊️ “Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” ‭‭John‬ ‭3‬:‭3‬ ‭KJV‬‬ “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭17‬:‭9‬ ‭KJV‬‬ “And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭4‬:‭4‬ ‭KJV‬‬

[@cloudyskyz2237]

Go. As a child of divorced parents, it is so much better than them forcing themselves to stay in a relationship they no longer can thrive in. Your children will possibly notice the struggles you feel. They will possibly also anguish the thought of the unhappiness you feel being their fault. It is so much better to leave something that you no longer thrive in, and rebuild yourself so you can be there fully for your children. They’ll come to love the new you, even if your previous relationship resents you.

[@KellyRMinter]

@pablosan7 first, your post didn't get removed. KZbin sensored it because of the words you used. Secondly, I am glad things have worked out so well for you, but for you to show up in the comments of a video about Christians gaslighting themselves and try and guilt this person into making a decision with their life because you, in a completely unrelated situation (like, nowhere even RELATED to the same situation) when you know nothing about them is so very over the top unfair. What even is it that you think this person needs to repent from? Your comment is meant to be helpful, I think. But the tone of the video, the post, and frankly this entire channel is not one you made any effort to read. If your faith in God is so very strong, you honestly could have just prayed for this person instead of responding when they said they were going to be offline after watching that video. It would have had the same impact.

[@kkimsey5866]

Oh man, that sounds so hard. It sounds like you have a lot of reasons not to go. And, I can't say I've had the same experience. But, I can say for sure that my life is so so much better now that I focus first on taking care of myself. Several older church ladies, who I think may have the best theology of any demographic in church, have told me that you cannot love your neighbor as yourself if you don't love yourself. Really love yourself. As God loves you. All of you. Even and especially the gay/queer parts. I genuinely wish you the absolute best. I hope you find the strength you need.

[@nacht_owl]

I live my life as a gay person, and was raised Catholic. Even though I have accepted myself and hope to get married to another woman, and have children etc, I still struggle with the feeling that at the end of the day, I am going to wind up in hell. It's deep-seated fear inside me that I've struggled with my entire life; the fear too, that I am going to send my wife to hell as well, for bringing her into a same-sex marriage etc. . Do you have any thoughts on how I can be free from this lie and fear?

[@nipunweerakoon_97]

Yeah, based on my own experience with h3ll ,it might take some time for that fear to go away. One of the things that help is that realizing you are going to h3ll in other people's religions for something.

[@SmokeySkyler]

Catholicism in my opinion is one of the worst religions in the world. There's others that are far worse though. God loves everyone regardless of gender sexuality and race because he made you who you are and loves you for who you are. It's not a "test" from my understanding he wants you to be a good person and do good for other people to live your life doing those things and love the consenting adult (assuming you're a adult yourself) that you do. The whole "you're going to hell" because of this or that is all a fear tactic used to scare people into believing what they believe so they can cause them psychological harm. God doesn't judge based off your sexuality gender or race. He judges your hearts true intentions.

[@cloudyskyz2237]

I like to think about the story I once heard about a Native American chief about to be slaughtered by the Spaniards. They asked if he had any final words before he was sent to hell. And he asked if the Spaniards went to heaven. And they said of course they do. So the thief responded that he’d gladly go to hell if people like them go to heaven.

[@mmay9082]

Dig a bit deeper into where the idea of hell came from. There was only one of five centers of early Christian thought that accepted eternal conscious torment. The other four believed in annihilation or in universal reconciliation. It was the one that taught ECT that was in Rome - and since Rome became the center of Christian power, hell became the dominant theology. But it wasn’t accepted by most Christians in the beginning! And Jewish theology in Jesus’ time or in the Hebrew Bible only taught about Sheol, the place of the dead, which had no torment at all in it. Even Jesus’s parables reference an actual factual place (a burning trash heap outside of Jerusalem) rather than a horrible place after death. If God is indeed love, then a place of eternal torment for sins done in a limited, mortal body doesn’t at all match with a being of infinite love. Keep fighting the fear! Hell has no place in true Christian theology.

[@SmokeySkyler]

@mmay9082 that is for real the best way to have written that. It caught my attention so I read it all.

[@bradbowlamma3039]

debunking those statements... 1- I discovered my attraction to guys as early as 11-12... I tried to "will myself" to be attracted to women and all I tried over the years it couldn't change... 2- worldly desires- if that was the case I'd be straight as a gay teen growing in the year 2000 literally everyone in my school, area, church, work was talking negative against the gay community Christian or non Christian that should have "changed me" 3- not acting on it- I always question myself how to not "act on it" am I supposed to be (a) doomed to living a life of complete loneliness or (b) marry a woman despite not being attracted to her... most likely I'd have to hide that part of myself because I doubt any woman would willing marry a gay man and if they end up finding out devastate someone's innocent daughter for no reason?

[@bradbowlamma3039]

(couldn't edit and scroll past 3 so replying to myself for 4) 4- Faith being tested- as I mentioned in point one I discovered myself as early as 11-12 over those years I've tried "willing" myself to change, took on 3 girlfriends in my lifetime in an attempt to change, prayed and fast for change... you can say I did that from 11-12 till my mid 20s... how long would I had to keep at that till I "change"? 5- Devil is temping me- temptation if im not mistaken are suggestions to do something you probably shouldn't... attraction has to to do with your hormones meaning its a part of who you are (despite they'd say being "born this way" is a lie)... what I'd consider tempting to be is if a person is fully straight but being coaxed to go with one of the same sex... not what their bodies responds to naturally

[@KellyRMinter]

These can go so deep, can't they 💛💛 thanks for sharing this, how you work through them is undoubtedly also helping someone else by reading it!

[@bradbowlamma3039]

@KellyRMinter thanks. I hope I can help someone with my comments at least. I know not all of our experiences are the same but for who can relate would be happy to be a source of insight

[@SAL-l8b]

But that is what religion Is, Not just Christianity but All!

[@KellyRMinter]

You're not wrong

[@Krissi4vp]

Brilliant

[@KellyRMinter]

Thanks for watching 💙

[@breakingboardrooms1778]

I knew I was queer. I just hated myself bc of it. I learned the autistic language (identity first VS person first) and I was an autistic person who suffered from same sex attraction, sometimes. Eventually I got tired of hating myself when I realized I was trans.

[@KellyRMinter]

I am glad you grew tired of hating yourself, and I am sorry that there was ever an expectation or space that made sure you did in the first place 💛💛

[@etcwhatever]

I always had problems with my sexuality. Even before i converted. I was always ashamed and felt wrong. Still do to be honest but i need to go to the bottom of it. Maybe i can be happy.

[@veggiet2009]

Not sure which way you're talking about converting. But know this, you can have religious trauma without stepping foot into a church, because parents and those in the culture can proliferate those "traditional Christian values" and culture by itself has had issues with LGBT people for the longest time even apart from religious indoctrination. Sometimes we hear in the world bullies that tell us our sexuality is a problem, and then we hear people in the church with a message that sounds like "come to us, we can fix you" and it proves to be just bunk. You don't need fixing, you need rest, and love, and dignity, as every human does! ❤

[@KellyRMinter]

@veggiet2009 100 % 💙💙

[@rayoliver760]

I'm not that religious and also not sure if this belongs in this video, but I'm going to ask it anyways. Is it possible to be gay/bi, but not actually attracted to anybody yet? As a whole I am a huge introvert and thus I am very anti-social person. I have never dated before, nor have I tried dating apps before, but I am open to them if they are the right fit. I just turned 40 and I have kind of started a mid-life crisis panic mode now. I think I have repressed my queer feelings for decades already, but I am tired of hiding it anymore.

[@KellyRMinter]

Short answer, yes it is definitely possible. 💜💜

[@joshheitman6832]

I’m a Christian and I do not like how frequently people who claim to be Christians as well as so many churches condemn homosexuality as sinful. They also do the same thing with abortion. I do not consider homosexuality to be sinful at all and I believe in abortion too. One church I am a member of is unfortunately one of those churches that condemns both homosexuality and abortion and I think that their stance on both issues are bullshit. I also frequently another church that doesn’t buy into any of that bullshit. In fact, at my other church, the pastor there is a lesbian. Just because you’re a lesbian, it does not make you less of a bein. Every Wednesday afternoon and Saturday evening Rev Ed Trevors one of the pastors of Saint Margaret’s Church of Scotland in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada hosts Church Without Walls on here live and he’s also very liberal. Jesus would also a flaming liberal and if you read the bible, he in fact was. He never once condemned homosexuality, he never once condemned abortion, he did condemn hypocrisy 16 times. He would never approve of conservative values. Conservative opinions are WAY out of touch with his message. This video by the way is very well deserved criticism

[@KellyRMinter]

Thank you for watching 💙

[@shaneross7428]

I agree with you 99% of the time. But this one I don't. From the early 1980's there were very few gay or lesbiens compared to today where its an epidemic( not in a bad way). The entertainment industries planted millions of LGBTQ seeds through movies, commercials, tv shows, internet later. I literally gave up tv because that lifestyle was constantly in my face. If our children weren't exposed to constant non stop gay, lesbien, trans content, BE HONEST, how many of people would have naturally chose that on their own??

[@NyghtDarkwatch]

Jesus never condemned same-sex unions, he never condemned sex workers. Conversely he did not condemn slavery nor sexual abuse of minors. Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's-- i.e. keep up with what is needed to exist in the world: water, food, safety, shelter, etc. The big take away: Do unto others as you would have them do to you. The Golden Rule, which predates Christianity and Judaism is about 7k years old. This is nothing to do with religion but with ethical behavior.

[@KellyRMinter]

Excellent points 💚💚

[@rosalinddavies8466]

No one loves you more than Jesus is a very manipulative phrase

[@lastsaint4162]

Thanks you. Healing is great when there is no gas lighting involved by the Jesus cult.

[@KellyRMinter]

It's amazing what can be done when you are allowed to be YOU isn't it? 💚🩷