5 Tips To getting closer to an INTJ

[@joshpatrick8809]

My only friend (since middle school...I'm 36 years old now) became my friend because she was the only one who didn't ask to copy my homework...that, and she never gave up trying to get to know me. She let me get comfortable with her and while it was a long process, she saw a side of me that only a few people in my family have seen. People were surprised when they saw us laughing together...she loved my sense of humor and I loved hers...we just clicked, I guess. She's my friend for life and I probably won't have another chance to make another in my lifetime.

[@intjoseph]

@Josh Patrick I hope that you hold onto your friend for many years to come! I have found that when it comes to us INTJs we find “soul mate” types like you describe and we get adopted by Extroverted types. Don’t discount that you will make more friends but the one you have now is definitely one in a million!

[@abeeflesstip8744]

The only reason I have a friend at work is because he did (and still does) do these things. Going to have to show this to him so he can understand why i like him and him alone. Great video like always.

[@jenniferhanses7064]

Point 1: If you're a coworker, why not try talking about a work problem you're having and you want the INTJ's advice? We are magnetically attracted to solving problems. It is our catnip. You then just have to fully engage in the conversation and problem solving, showing us that you understand your own specialty. This has the added bonus of psychologically putting you on the same team as your INTJ, so makes us feel positive about you. Point 3: Lunch I can be flexible about 90 percent of the time. I am not that attached to the frozen meal in the fridge that I can't change my mind. The exceptions are going to be if I'm working on an immediate deadline and need to do some extra work, or if I was craving something particular. But speaking of lunch, or any other meal for that matter, getting on our schedule as a regular, recurring meal date should be your goal. If I always eat lunch with Bob on Tuesdays, then that meal is going to happen barring an emergency. Point 4: Yeah. I'd say I don't like "perky" people. I can't help being suspicious of them. Why are they so happy? It must be an act. But that said, one of my favorite bosses was relentlessly perky. It was just who she was. I got to know her very well on a personal level, and had great respect for her. She didn't change who she was to please me. She just was herself, and I came to see that that self was genuine. Point 5: Relationship games to play with an INTJ: Can we be Magneto and Professor X? Because unless you can be hero versus supervillain with us, just don't. And no, we don't care which role we have in this cosplay. What it comes down to is that we're logical people. We will see through all the fake drama BS sooner or later (and most likely sooner because things will not add up), and we will drop you for even trying that with us. But we're also intellectual people. So trying to outwit each other can be fun so long as we're both agreed that it's fun.

[@whatiftherewerejust100peop8]

I am an INTJ. That's so relatable it hilarious🤣😄

[@toothdecay2465]

My experiences dating an INTJ woman as an INFP man: The pairing between the types works, I think, for 3 reasons: Ni+Ne, Fi, and Te. 1) Both types favor intuition, which means they share a preference for the abstract as opposed to the particular. Conversations with my INTJ were always big picture and future based, really stimulating from the very first date onwards. 2) INTJs lead a kind of double life, like two types in one. They are at the same time very logical people and, yet, if you get closer, they have rich emotional sides (which they usually hate). Still, both INFP and INTJ are Fi users. 3) Believe it or not, INFPs are Te users. It's in the inferior position and less often used compared to INTJs, where it is their auxiliary function. INFPs can strengthen their logic, organization and planning skills through relationships with INTJs. I have 3 suggestions for guys dating INTJ women: 1) Be assertive. Lead. Individuals may vary, but my experience is that INTJ women want a man who takes control. 2) Following from point one, treat her like a woman. I've found that, due to their strong, almost masculine temperaments, INTJ women are too often treated like "one of the boys." Buy the flowers and gifts. They will be appreciated. 3) Judger types want a break from their habits. J types have great planning and organizing skills, which I've always admired and tried to emulate. But, as a perceiver, you are being chosen by your judger because you are NOT him/her. Follow the rules but know when to break them. My first date with my INTJ went exceedingly well, and we decided to extend it. I suggested a river front walk, where we eventually sat to listen to the waves (both of us introverts, I knew it would be appreciated). After some time, I made my move and began kissing her. At first there was a reluctance, but then it was like a switch was thrown and she began kissing me back hard. She later told me I tend to throw wrenches into her planning, but she LIKES it. Know when to inject spontaneity.

[@rameshcppodcasts]

INFJ male here who has connection with an INTJ female. She gets really irritated when she gets overwhelmed by my emotional rants, and me getting annoyed by her silence and her blocking me😂. My consistent communication for more than 1.5 years almost daily via text and voicemail overwhelmed her, affected her me time but she tried to deal with managed me❤. One thing I treasure is that we are still connected though we are going through very tough stage personally both of us. Both of us need much time for recharging and i try now not to disturb her much. We have communication, we are going through heartbreaks, many other things, but focusing on learning more and preparing for competitive exams. I hope both of us are mature enough to manage our conflicts, tolerate each other, support each other. Trying to be real is the key i think. I hope both of us know our vulnerabilities, weak points, plus points, how boring we are 😂 and the need to grow and develop in life, career, skills etc. We have nearly 5 years age gap. We have fights very often, because of my Fe and her Fi i think. But i think the capacity and willingness to be there in difficult moments is ❤ She appreciates me when I'm emotionally restrained and collected. She has a beautiful heart, very soft inside. I don't know why she tolerates me even though I irritated her a lot. It's very hard for me to stay silent for a day or two. Any thoughts? Suggestions?

[@intjoseph]

@Ramesh there is a deep unspoken bond that can form between an INTJ and INFJ. Your INTJ sees you for who you are and more than likely brought you into her inner circle of relationships (without ever telling you). Just keep being you and respect her the way you have been. I’m sure your relationship will continue well into the future 🙂

[@rameshcppodcasts]

@@intjoseph Really? ❤️

[@intjoseph]

@Ramesh yes! If you are close enough to your INTJ to know her conflict and struggles then there is definitely a bond there. Try checking out my newest video INTJ’s and Intimacy for more information ❤️

[@rameshcppodcasts]

@@intjoseph Okayy

[@masayuangelanggraini6144]

As ENFP, there are many people who just approach me and feel comfortable around me right away. Well Im into thi INTJ person that I just met recently. We said hi and bye for about 1,5 months and just had small conversation whenever we passed each other. So one day he waved at me across the room but I didnt wave back cuz I didnt use my glasses so I didnt see him clearly. When I had realized it was him, I regret it soo much. Thank god I saw him on my way home. And I said hi directly. He asked for my number and we started to talk everyday and he always waited for me until I am done with my class. If I have trouble and ask him to spend his time with me, he say yes right away. But recently he stopped messaging me .. but we still see each other at school and we are okay to each other. But idk why he just stopped suddenly. One day when I asked him to stay with me because I need a break from work, he actually came straight away. And we spent a quality time. But he questioned me if it is ok to play billiards during 'the holy month of my religion'. I found out he learned alot about it since we have different religion. Do you think it is a reason why he is holding his self back to be considerate to my religion since it is an important month for us to pray to GOD and abstain from worldly life? Or is it because he is jelous that sometimes he saw me standing with other guy. But it was not me who approached the guy ... I am just scared he could misunderstood me somehow. Im very loyal.. but we are not in relationship yet. We have just talked for 1 month so far. N he stopped messaging me... but still sweet when we meet. Pls helppp... idk where I stand and what to do. Thank you guys.

[@intjoseph]

@Masayu Angel Anggraini from what I can tell your INTJ is probably respecting your religious beliefs and is definitely interested in you. My advice would be for you to tell him directly that you would like to go out with him. If this sounds contradictory to my video it’s just that you don’t need to go overboard and tell him that you are in love with him. Asking him out is totally fine. You can even explain more of your religious beliefs so he understands what is and isn’t acceptable (learning new stuff is a turn on). Remember stay cool and be yourself! And being a bit blunt helps too. Good luck! 🙂

[@masayuangelanggraini6144]

@@intjoseph this is where it is tricky. Maybe around 15 days after we met each other. He mentioned if I would like to go for bowling. And I said yes sure. But he said maybe next week since he had another appointment this week. So I let him know I will check my schedule. Then I told him 3 days before the day. He was thinking then said yes. The day was turned out to be the first day of our holy month. Then I told him that I would be alittle bit challenging but with proper planning we could go. Suddenly he said, if he could bring his friend with us. I was dissapointed when he said so. But then I said sure. His friend unfortunately couldn't go. So he asked if it is better to reschedule. I told him up to him. Cuz he had personal problem the day before, so I asked him if he want to be alone. Then he said we should reschedule. I respect his decision but I felt he friend zone me. The next day, we saw each other at school. I was with my friend. When he saw me he came to me directly. I was shocked that he did since I was with my friend. And he asked me what I did yesterday. I was confused really ... as he didnt do anything yesterday as well... at the end he said, we will reschedule again ok.. but now we dont chat. N as you said maybe he is respecting my religion. N I should give him time too ... but thank you really for replying to my comment. He never did MBTI but from his characteristic, he seems to be INTJ to me .. he is sweet by helping me. And we just connect especially when we talk. thank you again really ... thank you. Keep up with your video :) So yeah I dont know if I should just wait until he mentioned it again maybe ...

[@intjoseph]

@Masayu Angel Anggraini with this new information it just sounds to me like he is nervous and not used to a relationship of dating. It still sounds to me like he is interested in you in that way just unsure of himself (I could be wrong of course). My advice would be to continue to talk with him and give him just a little time. After your holy month suggest getting back together though under the idea of it being just the two of you going out. If you suggest it it may take some of the pressure off of him. I hope this helps 🙂 And thank you for the compliment

[@masayuangelanggraini6144]

@@intjoseph these comments help me alot. As you said, INTJ shows their interest differently. And it sometimes tricky to know. We stayed in coffee shop just the two of us in the beginning, so I was not sure if it is because he was nervous or not so he cancelled this time. But yeah, I will be patience and give him enough time to process his feelings. He is leaving soon to his country, so that might be one of the reason too. I heard you guys plan ahead so after pro and cons, maybe he decided to stay this way. This is just me trying to protect my self ofcourse, not to get hurt. But this time I would like to challenge my self too. So I will wait for him and be more positive and understanding. Thank you.

[@intjoseph]

@Massyu Angel Anggraini you’re welcome 🙂

[@HermesGirl]

These Truths are hilariously put. Nice work, dude.

[@intjoseph]

@Jessica Rose thank you 🙂

[@nope8214]

I look forward to the INTJ videos. I can relate to everything you say

[@intjoseph]

@Nope I hope that you continue to enjoy my videos 🙂

[@ZTRCTGuy]

Its mostly accurate. But I would say that INTJ's don't have their entire opinion of a person ready without even talking to them. They are complicated beings, and know other people are complicated beings. Basically everyone creates a prior opinion of a person when observed. They are more chill than people give them credit for. Secondly, not all INTJ's have rigid schedules, it depends on their goals. They aren't organised by default like the ENTJ, ISTJ or ESTJ for example, it does need to have a good reason usually. But if they do, don't get in the way. What I would rly add is to avoid small talk. Nothing irritates me more than when I'm doing something and a person gets over and starts talking about the friggin weather... Second, do not fake friendliness and/or some kind of mask or emotional facade. If it's one thing I value it's sincerity and authenticity.

[@maggied9918]

This video is my life explained, wish everyone would watch it, great video

[@intjoseph]

@Maggie D thank you for the compliment 🙂

[@devildogkogg8353]

1:30 I would disagree with that one. I'd be confused, curious as to why, and demand answers immediately, but the straightforwardness would be appreciated. I would make an effort to be polite about whether to accept or deny their friendship and explain why.

[@janeofthejungle4]

I’m not here to learn how to do this. I already know. I’m an INFJ mother of an adult INTJ son. INTJ (and ISTJ) personalities are like human Chinese finger-traps 😂 I’m just wondering if this video could maybe help my INTJ son’s girlfriend understand him a little better (she’s a quirky, eccentric little INFP). He complained to me the other day, that she made him go out for dinner the other night (on a WEEKNIGHT🙀) and that made him very mad (and he did say no) but they ended up going anyway. But he said to me, “it wasn’t even scheduled!”😅

[@Jazaltron]

The first one is so true, Lmao.

[@kataiwannhn]

Your mind is not like a bad part of town.