5 Weird Eating Habits of a Narcissist

[@narcabusecoach]

Book Your Seat: Workshop on Heal After Surviving a Narcissistic Parent www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/pna

[@swethamonicajennifera3354]

@narcabusecoach Unable to do payment from India address, kindly let know of the procedure to enroll the session

[@sheilajac]

off topic/old topic...but i've caught myself repeatedly doing the trex thing with my hands when going to sleep, which is extra bad b/c i already have bad wrists from 30 years of severe ra, caused by a narc who is still harming me, despite 6 years no contact

[@proudamerican2133]

What's with the roaming band of trolls hitting the comment section first?

[@mariaisaksson8948]

Hello my name is Maria and I have a mom she is a narcissist and I was married to a narcissist husband and I wanted to add to the list of crazy behaviour: Cooking with a narcissist is stressful and exhausting simple things become a difficult task because they hover over you and ordering you around makes you feel o uncomfortable and dumb

[@carolnahigian9518]

Are We related? ( ha ha)?

[@jennelleschulzeck9426]

Yes, I remember my 4 year old daughter excitedly offering her dad a lick of her ice cream in a cone she just got. But he bit the whole top off in one bite and left hardly any in the cone. She was so hurt and cried and cried. I asked him why? He said, oh she didn't need it all. (cold) I secretly bought her another one later when he wasn't around. She never offered again. This was just the early days of the start of troubles. I never knew about narcissism then.

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

I'm glad you did that. poor baby. what a jerk he was.

[@n.b.0212]

If I shared something with my ex, he would take the biggest bite out of MY food. I would be disgusted. When I brought it to his attention, his feelings would be hurt and he'd have a bich fit. He flipped it around on me.

[@sterry2141]

Hard to forgive such hurtful destructive behaviour. My ex-marc ate only certain food. Always the same: and the food was not necessarily healthy food.

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

No need to forgive. Just realize they are evil.

[@arlenecallejo3724]

I AGREE with everything Danish stated here. SPOT on!!!

[@annajustice7620]

Sitting at the dinner table...the back of a hand smacks a child out of her chair and on to the floor. The heavy metal chair is knocked over as well from the force of the blow. NO warning at all!! She looks in the direction of the blow to see her father say..'stop chewing so loud.' >> I WAS SIX!! Now, many years later, NO contact, and perfect peace.

[@psyience3213]

I used to get knocked out of the blue like that too, but it really bothers me when men do that to daughters. Like how tf?

[@joywebster2678]

Got punched out of the blue as a teen, during dinner, went flying. After that i developed an eating issue that I couldn't swallow much at dinner. Lost so much weight the Dr was concerned. I was unable to express the connection.

[@kellyl1457]

Whew, sorry you had to endure that abuse. 😢

[@joywebster2678]

@kellyl1457 thanks, it still will pop up these many years later though he's long passed on.

[@seekerofgrace2058]

So sorry you did not deserve that. May God heal your hearts and strengthen your sense of value

[@ElizabethMiravalle]

OMG! I am now 71 yrs old - my poor brother has been dead for four years - we were compaions in a life controlled by two narcissistic parents. I never knew until I watched this - that there were other people out there who suffered the same physical and mental/emotional abuse we did. I feel as if a burden has been taken out of my hands.Thank you- and thank all of you for letting me know I truely am not alone - and the suffering was not because there was something wrong with me.

[@jennelleschulzeck9426]

Yes, I am 71 also and only just found out last year about narcissism, it was a huge relief for me also to know I was not stupid and crazy. I see how much my two children, now 55 & 50 have suffered as well as me. I have found out so much through Danish's channel and others as well.

[@renel7303]

You are far from alone.

[@julie-nw6ql]

This is so true

[@colleensullivan7377]

I am 71 and sadly only catching up. You are not alone ❤

[@sbfabtfc1]

​@colleensullivan7377 Don't be sad about catching up now at age 71. The only sad thing would be for you never to have caught up at all. Welcome to the club!

[@alienfrommarss]

My mom shoved an ice cream bar in my little sisters mouth, almost choking her because she didnt want to eat it after she had already given it to her. She was crying, gagging and only stopped when I screamed "youre going to kill her!". I was 5 years old but thats a memory that will forever be a part of our childhood. No child should ever experience the wrath and control of a narcissist.

[@redfo3009]

This is so sad. My ex has our child full time since 5. My ex has weird eating habits too. I’m so sad for my child as he is so frightened of him. My boys eating habits are odd because he’s afraid of eating and I wonder what goes on when he makes him eat at the dinner table. It’s heart breaking and a soul destroying life now that I’ve had a child with this horrible person. I try to make my boy feel as good as possible to repair the damage done but then he has to go back. One day soon he’ll be old enough to come back to my house and just stay. 🙏🙏

[@dawngarland5566]

My mother's husband made it impossible to enjoy anything. Meals were dreadful with him was a barrage of anxiety and just as food was put on table the endless faultfinding and shaming started. He'd start lecturing and threatening. I started getting sick and tried to stay away from him. Life like that leaves you broken and then you rebel. You get in trouble anyway so why not?

[@carrieeloff2220]

Omg where are they now?

[@annemariefraback7545]

I didn't go to either of my parents funerals, my father was like you are describing but my mother continued to have children with him even adopting my brother John. Poor thing , what you are describing to me is sadistic abuse , control, these people men mostly somehow enjoy tormenting children and weak women that depend on them.

[@jacquelinemarie1078]

So sorry.

[@natoshawithanO]

That story of your dad shoving food In Your mouth, then hitting you, is heartbreaking. You never deserved anything like that 😔

[@terrijones1167]

These people are from their father the devil.

[@selfesteem3447]

Yes that was heartbreaking to hear. I remember other experiences Danish has told us, now this💔

[@theresaelizabethelijah117]

That one broke 💔 my heart too 😢

[@MarthaBizid]

I can’t imagine something more horrifying 😔 except SA, God have mercy 😢

[@patricianelson8]

My dad grabbed me by the face and shoved spoonful of peas in my mouth. I puked. He never shoved food in my mouth, but did other things that now I wonder. He passed over 20 years ago.

[@SurvivorOfChildhoodTrauma]

I'm so sorry this happened to you! My stepfather punched me in the face so hard, he flipped my chair backwards, he then kneeled over me, sitting on my stomach and beat me til I was unconscious. I woke long after it was dark, the table was clear, everyone had left to do their own thing, the chair was back upright at the table ... I dizzily struggled to sit up, confused, disoriented, hurting from head to toe... I got up to my feet, stumbled to my room, threw up and passed out again. I don't remember much more. I was 8 ... I didn't want to eat pickled pigs feet ... Something they already knew I would throw up after being forced to eat (which I was also forced to eat my vomit as well), but they didn't care. Both my mom and stepdad were narcissistically abusive. I'd like to say this was a one time event, but sadly... No... My entire childhood was full of physical/sexual abuse, torture and narcissistic abuse. I wish that I could help others, I wish my voice could be heard and my story told too. Maybe, one day... 😢 Be blessed. ❤

[@santacruzskirts]

Thank you

[@kangaruchi]

🫂🤍

[@cam8619]

Your voice is being heard, loud and clear I’m glad you made it to adulthood. With parents like that some kids don’t make it. You could tell your story just ask some organizations or something? Kids should be told these stories too in my opinion because some may think it’s normal behavior? Bless your child heart from having to go through that, you are strong and inspiring 🥹

[@SurvivorOfChildhoodTrauma]

​@@cam8619Thank you so much for your sweet reply and encouragement! I am actually telling my story on my channel here, and I'm trying to get heard out in my community. It's much harder than one can begin to imagine... But, I won't say much more, because I know this comment will be deleted as soon as it's posted, just because I mentioned my channel... and God forbid other survivors actually HELP each other, ... No, unfortunately, it's a competition and people only out for themselves. Hopefully you'll see this before I'm silenced, as I've been other times on this very channel, it's sad honestly... Be blessed in all you do! ❤

[@SurvivorOfChildhoodTrauma]

@@cam8619 I left you a reply thanking you... And some other things. But, it was deleted. Censorship is a toxic thing. I hope you got to see it, but if not, sorry...

[@lorrainetownsend4898]

My ex-husband used numbers 3, 4 and 5 techniques while eating a meal. He watched how large my bites of food were, commented in my portions, etc. And I was always slim and fit, after having 3 children together. He judged my speech and grammar (I'm college educated) The control made meals as a family uncomfortable and sad - and he never cooked. I did. 9 years free! 😊

[@catlady6687]

The best thing you did for yourself and your kids is get away from him.

[@christins.1481]

My MIL is number 4. I do a lot of walking and lifting at work. I work 9 hours with a 80 mile drive everyday, by the time I get home, I'm famished. My husband will have snacks and the pre-meal ready for me before the actual meal. His Mom will tell me how I'm eating too much and will say, "Your husband may want that." After she seen him make it for me. My husband has to yell at her to leave me alone and let me eat. I look at her and she glares at me, upset cause she can't rule the roost.

[@christinesbetterknitting4533]

Freedom is the best revenge!!

[@EcoFarmFL]

Having a meal with friends or family should be enjoyable and a happy relaxing thing always. I hope the meals you have now are met with gratitude and smiles and a fullness not just in the belly but in the heart and soul.

[@PaintWithWheat]

Thank you for sharing, Danish! Its so very true. My ex ate like a pig with his hands and ate tons. While pregnant I got two scoops of ice cream in a waffle cone. He said he never saw anyone eat so much in his life. I wish I could have said, "Get a mirror!", but I knew I would pay the price. He is long gone now so I win.

[@narcicide8814]

Congrats! 🌞

[@nazeninatalie1004]

Lucky you

[@martinbarnes6853]

Oh, yes! Both of my narcissistic parents ate perfectly, I clutter and bite my nails. Classic!

[@brenda-el5cz]

yea my x would always eat like he hadnt eaten for a week like a pig then he would sit there after and watch me eat my food i hated that

[@justynadwernicka1912]

​@@brenda-el5czmój były robił to samo. Jadł szybko aż się spocił, do bólu żołądka. Potem zniecierpliwiony czekał aż ja zjem, żeby mi obrzydzić ten czas posiłku.

[@michellewidowski3017]

You reminded me of what my father did to me when I was little. I'm left handed, therefore, I eat with my utensil in my left hand. One night, he started yelling at me to eat my food with my right hand because I was making him sick to look at me because I was using my left hand. That in turn made me sick to my stomach and felt shameful of being left handed and I didn't want to finish eating my food, but in my house you had to finish your plate. I then had to teach myself how to eat right-handed and be aware every night after that to eat right-handed. That was just one way I walked on eggshells because of him. Crazy thing is, I went to a Catholic school where they tried to make me write right-handed. I had told my parents that I couldn't, so he had went to my school and cussed them out telling them to stop forcing me to try to use my right hand, so I would have never seen that coming. I guess he was controlling things in both of those situations.

[@justjen2591]

I have had food smashed and smeared into my face more times than I'd like to remember from a narcissistic EX husband. No contact 1 year 3 months and 8 days. I even divorced him with NO CONTACT. I left many family heirlooms behind, but I never once laid eyes on him since ,after escaping him and his abuse. Thank you Danish.❤

[@deanamcdougall7192]

Never look back

[@Cybertruckin]

That's awful

[@itchyscratchy7167]

I don't eat steak as it's too hard for me to chew but my husband does. Every time he made steak he would put a piece on my plate, I put it back on his ,rinse and repeat. I gave it to my dog.

[@Portia620]

Thank goodness you left

[@ancu2682]

I have been 6 years no contact, and I don’t regret it

[@tarey05]

Weaponizing food is a war crime, even in families. 😢

[@janiefallout8]

Weaponizing food is a war crime especially in families.

[@SurvivorOfChildhoodTrauma]

Absolutely! I was forced to eat food that my narcs knew literally made me throw up, and then I'd literally be the forced to still eat it, vomit and all! Or, they would make my favorite food and I would have to sit at the table and watch them eat, and I'd get absolutely nothing... But, sent to bed so hungry and nauseous, that I'd eat a piece of notebook paper from my school notebooks or I'd eat toothpaste. 😞

[@janiefallout8]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I remember once my teacher left me without dinner for punishment because I had ventured into the nearby town at a school camp. I knew the place better than her and was in 10th grade (16 year old) but she treated everybody like we were in 1st grade because that was the age she was teaching. We were forbidden even to do to the shop to buy water. I ate nothing that night and I still remember it.

[@SurvivorOfChildhoodTrauma]

@@janiefallout8 I'm so sorry, that's absolutely awful! People can be so cruel! Be blessed! ❤️

[@janiefallout8]

@@SurvivorOfChildhoodTrauma Not that it's a competition but what you've been through is way worse. At least I didn't have to eat vomit, notebooks, or toothpaste. There was this one time my parents celebrated my birthday without me because I didn't want to go but thankfully I didn't have to watch. As for my teacher, it lasted only for a week and then I was free. I believe she wanted to keep us safe but since everybody was sneaking into town she just kept us pissed.

[@SunshinesART]

Many of my traumas happened at the dinner table when I was young. I still have flashbacks from them when I eat at a table. I made sure my own children enjoyed dinner time, and I took away that control my parents had over me. It helped me heal. We laughed, we talked, and enjoyed our food. If my children didn’t like a certain food, I didn’t demand they eat it, or make them sit for hours at the table until they ate it. Or send them to bed with no food, or lock them out the house because they didn’t eat something I cooked. Wow, this video was eye opening for me.

[@kaddylady5853]

Everything you listed was the way it was growing up in my childhood home. To this day I hate onions because I was forced to eat them or not leave the table.😢

[@sunshinegal4294]

I did the same. I made sure my children had a complete different upbringing at the dinner table. Also, I love your name. 🙂

[@kaddylady5853]

❤

[@alexastirling4385]

@@kaddylady5853 My mother served up "Tripe" (Sheeps stomach) it was horrid and I refused to eat it. I was made to sit for hours at the table watching it congeal on the plate while my family went on with their evening. I was eventually sent to bed with nothing to eat and a lecture about all the starving children in the world. She often tried to force me to eat foods I didn't like. I was around 8 or 9 years old. I have two daughters and 4 grandchildren and I would never, never do this to them. If they don't like some food they don't have to eat it. Simple!

[@MaryLaloggia]

I did the same. Never said anything to my children at the dinner table. We also talked and laughed. If they didn’t like it I would say eat what you like and leave the rest. The little dogs we had ate well. In those day I think more people gave table food to their pet. We did.😊

[@Sorchia56]

My mum was the #3 to the extreme. We had to dress for dinner, be at the formal dining table at exactly 6:15 or we did not get dinner. No speaking at the table, EVER. Only adults spoke. We could not leave anything on our plate, had to ask to be excused from the table, the list is endless. If we didn’t use the proper fork or made a slurp sound while eating soup, we were excused from the table and to go straight to bed. We all had a food stash she never knew about. We were raised as if the Queen was going to show up at any time. Every morning at 6am we were weighed because “no one respects a fat person!”! Absolutely mental.

[@karenhartman7115]

Some of that occurs in wealthy old families to teach good manners

[@Sorchia56]

@@karenhartman7115 My family is from old money but on my dad’s side not my mum’s side. We all attended etiquette courses after school. Mum was a gold digger who also happened to be a pathological liar, psychopath narcissist, cheater and just remarkably evil all around. She left a wake of pain and destruction in her path when no one of importance was around. Believe me, it had nothing to do with manners. If it did why would a mother tell her children they were fat, we clearly were not, and weigh us all at 6 am? I’m a mum, I would never be so vile. I went NC after finishing Secondary School. My siblings that didn’t, are now dead by their own hand. Being told every day that you’re worthless takes a ghastly toll. Our father divorced her but she got custody of us. I was 9 when they finally divorced. I spent all holidays from school with my grandparents and da. She still received her monthly payments, I wager my grandparents had a hand in that arrangement. This was in the early 70’s and she was getting £18,000/mo for 3 kids who were raised by a nanny. She started working in a high paying field when we were in Secondary school. Our da and grandparents paid for our riding lessons, trips, clothing and took us to the ballet, opera, theatre, symphony and all social events that involved the family. Egg donour was no longer allowed as they were divorced. TLDR: No, had nothing to do with money and etiquette, she was an evil narcissist who enjoyed inflicting misery on others. Haven’t seen her since I was 17. I know she moved to the states and remarried straight after the divorce papers were signed but no clue where.

[@donnieolaughlin1758]

I'm a jolly old fella and everybody seems to kind of like me but nobody respects me. It's true people project a lot of hate on me I like I'm an easy target. Both literally and psychologically.

[@jabbermocky4520]

Totally mental. Same treatment here but it was my late father who tormented the family. Daily. We dreaded dinner time. Sundays were the worst. He'd expect a full, formal Sunday lunch with a meat roast and all the trimmings. Mother worked like a slave and all 6 kids helped her in the kitchen. That was the fun part. We could sneak bits and morsels before the formal dinner. At table we all tensed up and frowned just waiting for his assaults which were fierce and brutal. One time he grabbed a lamb roast from the platter and chucked it at the wall because my mother had overcooked it. We had never tasted lamb before. It was only at age 38 that I was finally able to eat some roasted lamb. It was nice but I still remain 99% vegetarian. The meat memories are the worst for me. Cheers and chin up!

[@TraciDoering-hw8hu]

I read both of your comments. That was horrific. I am so sorry for the intense trauma you endured. My mom was a neglectful and malignant narc. Yes, it sucked bigtime, though bc I raised myself and was the scapegoat, I think this spared me a lot. And, your childhood sounds 1000-fold more horrific than mine. I am so sorry for your pain. God bless you mightily. You will be in my prayers. And, by the way, I’d never have thought of wealth having anything to do with the control and abuse. WOW! You captured how vicious your mother was - wicked to the core. I’m truly sorry.

[@gabrielafonseca4034]

After our divorce my ex told a mutual friend that he was sorry for me because he made me get used to fancy restaurants that I would no longer be able to afford. Like watching him pigging out and getting drunk was such a treat. And now he can't even afford rent, a car or clothes

[@Grgiana071]

Karma.

[@junecoleman9030]

Good …they neva neva think We would leave them..when i was leaving him and he was supposed to be in love with me at the time ..he was so concerned about how many days a pot of broccoli would last him …bye bye enjoy😅

[@paradiseandlove]

@@junecoleman9030 When I left my narcissist ex his only words to me were: Who will do thelaundry? I thought, is that all I am to him?! plus on my birthday, he bought an expensive bathrobe for himself and nothing for me.

[@gabrielafonseca4034]

@@paradiseandlove that reminds me how he threw a surprise birthday party for me, but only invited his friends, or the time his friends were over and promised he would cook, but I had to do it and he complained about what I made, or how every year I had to Christmas shop for his family, and he took credit for the things I chose and paid for

[@dontbeadogsbody3564]

Sounds like my soon to be ex. If he didn’t have have his big shot job, he would have NOTHING. And he will do anything to keep it because that money is how he gets all his deviant gluttonous needs met.

[@HelloHello-zf2sv]

This is so spot on!! I dealt with all these for years. I used to say "It's only Trevor's world and we just lived in it!"

[@dar4835]

Im so sorry everyone has had to deal with asinine people. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! Our dad chose dinnertime to yell at us. Either gobble food down, or just be "not" hungry. He took his own life in 76. I had other issues as well. At 40 years of age, I read a few books and got some wisdom, like it's not my fault. I'm in a really happy place now that I'm divorced from a master narcissist. No more. I'm not going to give any man a chance to know what a great and loving person I am. My cat can benefit from that. He even abused her behind my back. I just hope all who have suffered being abused in one form or another can find peace for the rest of your days❤️

[@dar4835]

@soulTraveller144 the a** scared her every time she came in the house when I wasn't home. She is a rescue, and it's been a little over a year since we've been away from him. She still gets startled by noises, and has reflux from him. It has calmed somewhat, but I wonder if she will settle in like she started to before he did that to her. He didn't do that with my other cat, so it never occurred to me he would do that. I overheard him telling his daughter what he did. I was already looking for a place to live, I just tripled my efforts. I'm so glad to be out of that narcissistic relationship!

[@nickleontis9350]

Amen.

[@MalteseKat]

I never thought it was my fault

[@sanctuairegaia5213]

Hi... SImilar story. My dad was getting abused at his work place. It's a cycle... deeper roots that just the immediate family.

[@sadderandwiser]

Yes they control. They love to control everything and everyone. Food is an excellent example.

[@imonthewinningside8281]

I would make food when my narc came home hungry from an OTR trip at random hours. He would sit down (with phone in hand) and I would give him the food.... and not eat it. Or maybe just one bite. If questioned, he said it made his stomach tight and he couldn't eat it, I had cursed it.😢 Took me years to realize that he was accusing me of what he himself did.

[@rebeccachilson7387]

Indeed 😢

[@anon567]

That's the start.

[@Vickiluv]

It’s goes beyond greed, cause they get no joy or satisfaction from food or anything they’re just dumping it into their empty soul

[@mgogob9631]

they don't get joy from doing anything in their lives!! i've never seen my husband expressing joy about anything zero 😭

[@angelameyer3709]

@@Vickiluv The greed goes beyond that! Money, Sex, Food, Alcohol, Control!

[@machinegurlll]

my grandparents raised me. grandpa made dinner so miserable that we all just ate in separate rooms with a tv tray watching our own show. Sad stuff to grow up with

[@Benjaminleo815]

yes! you are not alone

[@Lisboooa]

At least you were allowed to do that. I had to stay

[@napalm_lipbalm86]

Same here. Did we live the same childhood 😮

[@cocogomez2278]

😢 I'm so sorry

[@angelajane3913]

@@Lisboooa and finish everything! or else

[@misunderstood818]

My heart goes out to everyone who has been through this and i hope we can all heal from the abuse. Ive had similar experiences

[@s1nd3r3llee]

I have horrible memories from childhood before 5 years of age, and after too. Being dragged through the house by my hair, being kicked down the stairs in to the dirt “Stay out and don’t ever come Back!!”, or woken up in the middle of the night being beaten until I peed myself at 2 years old. So hard growing up with so much fear. Did not realize that this cruelty came from narcissistic parents until recently at age 67. Three of my sisters have that as well.

[@jkk5948]

I'm so sorry your father did the things he did to you. I'm glad you have risen above that abuse. You help alot of people now. Thank you ❤

[@carinaohlin1411]

👍❤️

[@NancyFoster-c3i]

My father was - I have now learned - what would be called a Malignant Narcissist. Much of his Dinnertime behavior was in deed inappropriate and my mother never even suggested he change. Alot of what he did away from the table was also unacceptable, and for some reason was mainly aimed at me, his Daughter, rather than at his wife or sons. To this day I don't understand why, and I am now seventy. Thanks for your channel. Nancy

[@ancu2682]

My psychologist told me that when a person chooses the scapegoat, it usually is the one who is the empathic. They’re evil, they want to destroy the beauty in you 🤗 You know what is the best revenge? Become the best version of yourself 🤗 Always love 💗 and keep being kind and free 😉

[@laurac-ss1cp]

Narcissists don't change speaking to them changes nothing but might start an arguement

[@TwistedRootsMelody]

He had already broken your mother. You were still bright and shining. That's why you were singled out. I'm sorry you went through that

[@Ana-n8y1c]

Now we know what they are and can leave. Go no contact or limited contact, just make excuses over and over. Can't get together, sorry.

[@wa13601]

God Bless you, Miss Nancy, for enduring these bad times. My parents grew so distant from each other that all us kids suffered - they took out their anger with each other on us. of 7kids, only 2 married and had kids and those marriages had deep problems. The rest of us dated but never married. too risky. I', early 70's too and came to believe that we still don't provide enough affordable counseling in this country to help us better negotiate the differences we have with each other. Between the Federal Dynasty and the Profit Seeking Corporate America, the majority of Americans will live in constant states of quiet desperation.

[@rebeccasnell2953]

This is so enlightening about the eating habits! The narc I know hogs any food that is especially delicious. His wife has to hide certain yummy things otherwise he eats the whole lot and leaves none for anyone else, and shows no sense of shame for this at all. It's like a rampant sense of entitlement. He also stuffs himself with treats and doesn't attempt to have any restraint, even though he's very overweight.

[@bindibud23]

Your story of being force-fed and vomiting reminded me of the time my narc female parent forced me to eat beef liver. I found it disgusting, and that night I threw up in my bed. The narc parent yelled that I had done it on purpose. Even at seven years old, I thought: "If I vomited on purpose, it wouldn't be in my own bed."

[@amypalafox7315]

Omg, I had a similar experience with my mother. I was five years old, she was cooking stuffed bell peppers, and the smell was nauseating. I told her I couldn’t eat it, and she told me to “just eat the filling.” I was crying and I took a bite of it and promptly vomited. And, like in your situation, she got angry at me and told me that I did it on purpose.

[@MatrixofLife]

Oh dear, I am so sorry for your experience 😢😢😢

[@rozyscozy]

The first time I ate a traditional dish from my narcissistic ex's country, made with chickpeas, spices and tripe and cooked by his mother, he saw that i wasn't eating the pieces of tripe and promptly told me to do so. I said I don't like eating the internal organs of animals, to which he replied "It's meat! Eat it! It's good!" and gave me a condescending and also disgusting open-mouthed demonstration of how I should chew it.

[@janicereid5798]

Thank you, Dr., for sharing your own trauma you experienced.

[@mammadingo9165]

Sad I let that happen to my son 😔 I didn't understand what was going on

[@perrissmith8809]

That covert criticized my healthy eating styles and fasting, he refused to eat left overs, then when I cooked a gormet meal for him, he picked things out of his plate etc etc! I literally got up and left the table, I did not make myself a plate because I refuse to break bread with darkness! I now know that is what it was

[@theladyamalthea]

Same! Once I realized what I was dealing with, I refused to eat one single meal with that man. “Do not even eat with such a one.” Five months out and free tomorrow. 🙌🏻

[@marciacsr]

The guy sorts out stuff he doesn't like so you stop eating yourself because you refuse to eat with darkness? Weird.

[@NanaWilson-px9ij]

@marciacs, Fallacy alert= feigned ignorance.

[@bigred4379]

Omg ! The refusal to eat leftovers … my narc mother.. I had just moved in to care for her and she said” I don’t eat leftovers “. I just laughed.. you do NOW!

[@joanneboilard4780]

C est la seule chaîne ou, tout est expliqué clairement Incroyable, j ai subi tout les supplices expliqué, ici !! Bravo et merci 😊

[@bagoodhuman143]

Constant critic of the food is one of the Narc ‘s habits I learnt my husband who is grandiose narc never appreciated in my 20 yrs of marriage I am an Indian and Indian meals need a lot of ingredients and prep time I was juggling full time jobs and my two young children still he was expecting me to serve him Royal meals and breakfast Dinner time is a chaos Thank god I now gray rock and learnt it’s his curse to not appreciate what’s in the plate when so many go to sleep with one meal a day Just appreciate the food that’s on plate and thank god that we not one among the people who starve in this world Just thank god

[@AryanKampalall-hh9dk]

I'm an Indian too.cooked best meals.indian cuisine can be daunting to prepare,married for 23 years.my kid never eats with him.i try to avoid it.lost so much of weight and I lost interest in cooking ,which is something I used to love.cant wait to get rid of this parasite.

[@sarasreddy5064]

I am Indian too. Married 45 Yrs. Never appreciates my effort, always complaining. So many starving. 😢

[@Lyrielonwind]

I'm not Indian but I agree. If they can't find a flaw like lack of salt they will say "it's cooked without love".

[@psyience3213]

I love indian food and Indian women just saying..... ;) lol

[@goldbrick2563]

Definitely always making a critical comment

[@dyoung2739]

So true. Watching him eat is absolutely disgusting. I was kinda paranoid because he’d get mad if I crunched chips. Finally I asked coworkers at lunch if I crunched too loudly because I didn’t want to be rude. They were like they’re chips,they’re supposed to crunch🤷🏽‍♀️?

[@julieaskingforafriend]

My narc mother would not let me eat chips that were folded over because they made too much noise when I chewed them.

[@dyoung2739]

@@julieaskingforafriend Narcissists are evil.

[@alainaaugust1932]

1. Eating like an animal. Does throwing ketchup count? 2. Delurgasm. Constantly, culminating in nationwide shared fantasy. 3. Fast food burgers and fries for everyone, clap, clap! Everything is a show. On a national stage. 4. More control. 5. Group control. . . . And then you ask what we’ve been victims of. That would be some form of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. And 6, 7, 8, 9-100. And on another note, you are great proof of the fact that one might be horribly abused as a child and yet make themselves into a wonderful person sharing beneficence and compassion with many. Blessings.

[@kathywedzik4905]

🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@JAYNEmM1962]

Omg this is so spot on Danish, my husband eats so loud but is a hypocrite because he gets made if anyone else eats loud. He breaths so heavy you can't take it it spoils my appetite. If he's in one of his moods he will do it even worse.if I say anything he will be the victim and say can I do anything right.

[@mysweetlife388]

Disgusting eating habits BUT I found out or rather figured out that every time we argued he would make me a plate of food. I realized since he did not want me in the kitchen that it was highly likely he was putting crap in my food. He would sit and watch me eat with a smirk that I did not understand. I understand now. I put two and two together. In Jamaica we having a saying about not eating food from your enemies.

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

I feel this inherently and NEVER take food from anyone who might be weird or not my friend for sure. never ever. it's energetic and you are absolutely right. I honestly check my dishes to make sure "no one" has spit in them, etc. before I use them and never ever take an offer from them. they never wash their hands eve and it's pretty disgusting but I don't say anything, I just beg off and say, "oh I am soooo full right now, maybe later? but thanks!" so I agree with you.

[@Potato-fv9ns]

This happened to me. I'm lucky to be alive

[@BethBrantley-wh5zy]

My mom had a weird habit of never sitting at the table to eat with us if she made the food. She would just watch us eat, telling us that she enjoyed watching people enjoying their meal. She would only do this for meals she fixed. If someone else cooked or we ate out, then she would eat with us. As I got older I grew suspicious of this behavior so I would try to watch her in the kitchen, but that’s when she decided to give up cooking for the most part. I still wonder about that.

[@NYbashaw3]

I would've been pretty scared to eat anything in the house if someone acted that way! You're very fortunate to still be physically healthy after those episodes!

[@lonayork591]

My neighbors roommate was poisoning her food with an organic bug spray....I got a word in my spirit, and when he wasn't there I was led to the kitchen cabinet under the sink and way in the back was a new spray bottle of poison that was 1/4 gone. I showed her and she smelled it, and recognized that smell from her food. Poor lady had been having internal bleeding that her Doctors couldn't explain. She said that I saved her life, but I told her that Jesus saved her life 🙏 🙌!!

[@charmainecorry6506]

The work you are doing here is priceless. I believe many people are being healed by your show here.

[@jane84321]

I'll never forget when I was about 11 years old eating at the dinner table and my father demanded my mother take me to get my bangs cut extremely short. The next thing I remember is waking up after passing out in my chair. I remember how humiliated and stupid I would look with my hair cut so short. That was 52 years ago. The emotional and mental abuse continued throughout my life. Finally, in 2023, I said no more abuse and cut all ties. He has abused every woman who has entered a close relationship with him. As he said, he will never change. I accept that but refuse to be abused anymore.

[@susanrarey4307]

Good for you.

[@Benjaminleo815]

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!! Your comment brought tears to me.

[@andersdottir1111]

Yes - cutting hair short is something narcissists love to do. My mother did this to me at ten years of age luckily my father got angry at her for doing this so she never did that again but of course she got me back in other ways.

[@jane84321]

@Benjaminleo815 I apologize I didn't want to make anyone cry. I've never cried about it until now. It's just been the last year that I've been going through therapy I’ve realized how much of his emotional and mental abuse over the years has affected me. Some so many people who are going through so much more than myself. No wonder why our society is so messed up.

[@jane84321]

@@andersdottir1111 I'm sorry to hear you had to go through the abuse of a narcissistic parent. It leaves so many scars in life.

[@techsearching5862]

It's so good that someone finally saw the value in exposing how narcissistic people deal with food. It's an important trademark that has been overlooked for way too long.

[@StephenGangi]

Soon as I saw it, I was like ... "holy shit".

[@peggywebster5731]

@@StephenGangi

[@Nels379]

Yes me as well. My jaw dropped when I saw the title. As kids we hated meal times. My father was God at the table. As soon as he reached for a slice of bread we needed to pass him the butter. All eyes were on him for he may need something. My brother hated peas. He made him eat them until he vomited. Same for me except it was cabbage.

[@flygirlfly]

He wasn't just a narc, he also mentally ill. I'm glad you healed and got away.

[@zigzag9133]

I remember being at a restaurant with my Malignant Narcissist mother. My father and husband were also present. My mother had just yelled at and humiliated our waitress to tears. As was fairly common for her. I calmly and quietly told my mother that when you do that and ask to have the food recooked, the kitchen staff commonly spit in your food. She turned PALE and never did it in my presence. I got so sick of apologizing to people that she abused. Eventually went , no contact until her death 14 years later. Best thing I did for myself and my children and grandchildren.

[@camillebarden2538]

I understand perfectly. My father cursed me for eating like "you think you're some kind of a princess." Complete with mocking me. He ate like a combination of a shark and a shop vac. At family reunions people tried not to gawk because he'd pile a mountain of food on his plate that would fall off as he returned to the table. No. Shame.

[@kymjosephine1865]

My ex did this all the time in restaurants. Everybody hated him.

[@judyanderson5772]

That took a lot of courage and i bet ithelped with your and your families mental health. A weight off the shoulders. It took me a long time to stop anticipating the other shoe would drop. I looked over my shoulder for a long time but I wouldn't have it any other way.

[@LordMondegrene]

You are magnificent!

[@heavyweight1028]

A narc took my life over when I was a 15 yr old runaway from a narc mother. I took all this same abuse from him for years not knowing what a narc was but I think he knew down in side if he had ever touched 1 of our 2 daughters he better not go to sleep!! I would have ended him . He basically ignored them and when the oldest at 4 told me one day when I was putting them in their room so they wouldn’t see the beating I knew was coming she said “ momma just do what he says , don’t make him mad”. That was it when I realized that’s how she would see all men. When he was gone with a girlfriend I packed up and left never saw him again. Happy to say 30 yrs later we are all very happy women.

[@lisahendrix3500]

God bless you all. I'm so happy and proud of you and your children. What you did takes tons of courage.

[@Marie-lf8ut]

Good for you, My 4 year old daughter said the same thing to me and we left with nothing but a few clothes in a trash bag....50 years ago.

[@MoniqueAO888]

The world needs more brave women like you... ...including @lisahendrix3500 and @Marie-lf8ut

[@GameChanger597]

Parents think they are protecting their children when they try to hide their secrets but children see no matter what and if they don't see it they pick up on it and learn to pick out partners just like what they saw growing up from it .

[@starseed8809]

🙏🙏🙏👏👏👏❤❤❤❤

[@valenfitzen]

One of my favorite memories of my ex, my daughter's father. We were in a restaurant and he immediately started with the table manners. Our daughter reached for the salt, and he was griping about her reaching across the table. Funny thing is, small table and her reach wasn't really across the table. He then reached across the table, yes seriously, and sat back up with a perfect meatball print on his shirt. Big tomato-enhanced ball on his shirt. So priceless. My daughter and i still laugh about it thirty years later.

[@BlinkinFirefly]

It's amazing your timing in posting this video. Literally a week ago I had the revelation that I understand why I hated my dad joining us at the dinner table. It was rare he joined us luckily, because he was always working in his office across the living room. But he could see the kitchen if he left his door open, so then he would listen in and harass us loudly from there. My mom always cooked our dinner. And one of my dad's excuses for not joining would be he doesn't like what my mom made. Looking back on this, how hurtful that must have been for her. He was such a poor example setter. On the days when he did join us, it was a nightmare. He'd go around the dinner table, suddenly deciding to be a father, and interrogate each of us about school and our lives. I didn't feel like answering him because I knew he wasn't serious or actually cared. He clearly enjoyed his position of authority, and spoke to us in a commanding, intimidating way. I just remember dreading him getting to me, because it all felt so staged. It didn't feel genuine. It just felt like he was "playing" dad. If that makes sense? Also, he would scream the loudest at any of us kids for any bad eating habits, but then he would be the most disgusting of all when eating. Chewing SO loudly, eating really fast, just scarfing it down, chewing with his mouth open. BELCHING. Yet he would angrily shame us if we did any of these things. I remember one time when we got pizza, he joined us (pizza was one of the few foods he would eat). My pizza had a lot of grease on it. So I started blotting it with a paper towel. When he saw this, he lost his mind. He screamed and yelled at me telling me what I was doing was FOUL and DISGUSTING and WRONG. He ordered me to stop it immediately. I tried to explain to him the excessive oil made me sick and I couldn't eat it otherwise. He refused to listen or understand, threatening to send me to my room if I continued. He was always like this. Selfish, controlling, narcissistic, unable to listen or understand. I should also mention that my biological dad (who my mom divorced when I was four), used to shove food into my mouth too. I don't remember it because I was a baby. But my mom hated him for it. I was a slow, picky eater as a baby. I truly believe, based on so many other signs, that I am on the spectrum, and that's why I was picky about eating because I had a hard time processing all the textures. But I'm glad I don't remember him force-feeding me. I'm sorry you went through that, Danish :(

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

I personally am glad you shared, makes me feel better because sometimes I just write and write. so thanks. I am sorry that all happened to you. you probably do remember subconsciously being force fed by your bio dad, it all gets recorded even if you don't remember now. there's nothing wrong with you for wanting to take your time. everyone is different and there's nothing wrong with you. God bless you, sorry that happened to you. you deserved better.

[@rennied88]

uhg you just described how my narc husband treats our kids (while im constantly trying to do damage control) and while it's validating to reconfirm he IS a narc and not just..the icky person who he is.. it also makes me desperately count the days until we can be free of him cuz hearing this from the perspective of the child breaks my heart even more. the best word for them is HYPOCRITE in every single way at all times.

[@lmm8960]

I still remember my dad raging at me and my mom for “letting” me put toothpaste on my pimples. Mind you, I got my acne from him. And yet he’s brushing his teeth with toothpaste. It never made sense!

[@heysoos1688]

​​@@rennied88 I know leaving is hard, for many reasons, but yes, leave as soon as you can.

[@TheBigsinnic]

My brother, who is a full blown narcissist, used to watch me like a hawk at the table, narrow his eyes at me, clench his teeth and scowl at me while I ate. He would watch everything I did from cutting the food, to putting it on the fork. He made sure Mum was otherwise distracted such as looking at her own plate. It was very uncomfortable to eat. my brother was 5 years older than me in Ballarat, Victoria, Australia, and he went on to abuse me every single day. All I did was to be born, that was enough for him though. He is going blind now, I dont wish that on anyone but he is still an asshole.

[@GreasyBaconMan]

It’s unfortunately very sad he had to be that way to you! Now that his going blind he can’t stare at you any more.

[@edemontfort9482]

Wait until he's completely blind and ask him who he's watching at the table then! Narcissists make life miserable for everyone around them. Karma can be very nasty.

[@delorestaylor8114]

Let him feel around the bathroom for the toilet when he gets diarrhea from gluttony

[@BillieYoung-tl5qr]

I'm so sorry you went through that.Some ppl hated me just for being born too,it sucks ,hope your days are going good now

[@Sg4809]

My brother molested me out of jealousy and would bully me any way he could

[@deannebattaglia9118]

This is mindblowingly accurate. My narcissistic mother ate like a wild animal, gnawing on bones making disgusting sounds, chewing with her mouth open, talking with her mouth full, and spitting her food on the table and me regularly. Eating with her was revolting. The more i watch these videos on narcissistic parents, the more i see my mother being explained to a T. For many years i wondered why she ate like an animal - so when i saw this video, i was shocked! Thank you for your videos. You have really helped me to understand many things about my childhood having a malignant narcissistic mother.

[@penelopepennington3838]

‘Table manners’, from my mother was epic in itself. I was served food I didn’t like, and not allowed to leave the table until a check was done to see how much I ate. Meal times became hours of tears and so much stress. Especially the liver, she loved offal, especially tripe. Thank god I didn’t have to eat that. There were so many narcs constantly around me and I felt like an alien. Your channel & all who comment has changed that mindset. It was just environmental disharmony thats taken 57yrs to sort out BUT better later than never. I left my home country at 27 and now complete no contact (the long calls about anyone doing decorating was like a liver dinner too). Over the years there has been judgement about my disconnection with family, now this is narc exposure is happening, my reply still stands strong, ‘It takes courage and strength to break away, and if you can do that, you can accomplish anything.’ Good luck everyone ❤

[@sarahgilmore9990]

Oh goodness - same here! I have a burned in memory of sitting at the table alone after the meal with an avocado colored timer ticking away forcing me to eat the food I didn't want while I cried. I make sure with my daughter now that we have fun at the table and if she is full, she is full and the dog gets what remains or we save it for tomorrow!

[@brendensangster3571]

I was at my buddies house his dad was definitely a narc, they served brusselsprouts. I took one bite and spat it out and said I was heading home, He got up and beat the dog infront of everyone. I was like you're nuts bro and walked out.

[@penelopepennington3838]

@@brendensangster3571 WOW what a horrendous experience. Your friend had to cope with that too. The greatest wish is, ‘they get what they give out’, so they no linger choose to do nasty acts again.

[@brendensangster3571]

​@@penelopepennington3838 I'm not sure if he was a Narc or just military PTSD, to be fair there's a lot of cross over and similarities. I grew up in an army community with a lot of suicides and beatings and PTSD. But my parents were military and not as bad as some of the other guys parents.

[@jacquelinemarie1078]

When I was young, remembering back to about 4 years old, my mother told me my father never wanted me, no one wanted me, I was a mistake. She reminded me daily that I was fat, ugly and stupid. She would continue her rants until I began to cry. That seemed to satisfy her, so I learned early on, to cry as soon as possible. I remember feeling as if I has outsmarted her.

[@lisahendrix3500]

You did outsmart her baby, you made her stop quicker. God loves you always.

[@barbbeulah7139]

Jacqueline you are beautiful, and so loved, by your creator the lover of your soul, my heart hurts for you dear friend 😢,

[@2anthro]

You are so brave!! And smart to outfox the creature.

[@annieberger567]

I think u learned very young how to be not a victim but a survivor! What a very bright child you were! You are very much loved. In fact you r the daughter of a King! And He loves you very much. Onward march pretty one! I would have loved having such a darling bright little girl! ❤

[@kelly851]

I suffer from anorexia due to stuff like this and worse. I am currently in counseling and dealing with all the toxicity associated with food. This is excruciating for me, but iam pushing forward and proud of myself. Thank you for posting this video and bringing to light the suffering many people have with childhood traumas. Many blessings to all, and may we all experience peace and love in our lives. 🙏🏻💞

[@Cyberfarm9]

I survived very severe anorexia. I love you. You are loved. I’m so sorry! Please be strong and look at yourself with love. You can overcome this! My mother was a horrendous dark triad and still is. I almost died. Perhaps intentionally and perhaps accidentally. But I would not give her that satisfaction. I went on to be stable at 117 lbs. I am forty. We have two children. I married a kind and gentle man. If I had not married my abusive mother in the form of my first husband, endured that for a year, I would not have unearthed it. I spent decades ANGRY. Please don’t do that! I have a happy healthy life generally now. It was bleak once. I have run marathons, I swim and lift weights now also. I am very open about it all and very up front with my children and their friends. I’m sorry you are in this valley. If you want to dialogue, I will be happy to. You are not alone. You can heal and have a successful peaceful life. Stay the course!

[@Wellness_Rose]

I understand hun. Look into Carnivore diet. It's helped a lot of people with anorexia finally heal. I've heard a lot of successes. I had EDNOS. I'm doing well now. Dr. Chaffee, Dr. Ken Berry, Dr. Shawn Baker, Dr. Kiltz & Homestead How all have great info on here about it. Much Love & Healing to you. 🤍🙏🏽

[@EileenMckenna-op3dj]

May you be blessed and healed, my wish for you.🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

[@kelly851]

@EileenMckenna-op3dj Thank-you 💞🙏🏻

[@kelly851]

@Cyberfarm9 thank you so much for your compassion. Yes we can communicate with one another, although iam just now learning to be open and not stuff all the pain and confusion. I have come along way and continue to push myself during times of regression. This is a battle, but i have never quit anything in my life. Your text brought welled up eyes and a gift of understanding and hope. I believe that we as human beings are capable of amazing abilities to heal the hearts of those who hurt and your light has opened me too that. Thank you. ~ K

[@pjmrees]

My Nex ate so fast that people in restaurants would stare at him. I remember a small child was watching him with his eyes wide open in amazement. The first time I ate with him, I asked him if he grew up in a boarding house. He looked at me like i was crazy. I said I've never seen anyone eat so fast and wondered if he had to fight for his food growing up. He thought I was kidding but I wasn't.

[@nicole-uo9cd]

pjmrees, I had a boyfriend who grew up in a family of 11 kids. He used to eat fast because growing up in such a large family, if he didn't eat fast, he would have brothers and sisters reaching over for his food!

[@HISIAM888RUHIS888]

Maybe he had to learn that to survive in his household when he was small!! Idk.. these Narcs grow up (usually abused & the generational cycle goes on)!! Sadly! 🚫😈🚫👿😭💔🙏🙏🙏

[@pjmrees]

@HISIAM888RUHIS888 No, he didn't have to fight for his food. His mother parentified him and spoiled him. He grew up wealthy and pampered. His father left at 5 and his mother treated him like a little husband and doted on him. She excuses away all his bad behavior. I heard him call her a bitch to her face and she'd say, Oh, you don't mean that. He laughed and told me he could kill someone in front of her and she would say he didn't mean to do it. (I wonder if he was referring to me)

[@magicelectric4475]

My mother fed me with a spoon until I went to school ! Way too long ! She would pretend to taste every spoonful eating most of it in the process ! She then complained to everyone including my father how she couldn't get me to eat anything ! At the same time telling me I had eaten my whole dinner and couldn't possibly be hungry ! She also told me that cleaning my teeth with a little bleach or bathroom cleaner would keep them nice and white ! Since my memories have returned in full force and I have processed the horrors ! Some call this the dark night of the soul others prefer to describe it as having been to the gates of Mordor . Ten years ago I moved to another country I made a conscious effort everyday to listen to my body experience and release the pain and now I am free ! Although there are always things to overcome and toxic thought patterns to break ! I love life and life loves me ! Blessings to all who are on the journey and to all of those who are about to embark !

[@niveditakhare3081]

Be financially independent and run away from the narcissist!!

[@miffy2760]

That's what I'm working on with God's help!

[@mtbroca]

That's the key, financialy independent

[@TheAarikja]

Like a fool, I sneaked away from mine, took all the money and put it in a private account in my name only, moved to a foreign country, bought a house, paid cash, have friends now and a beautiful life. Then he found me. Moved back into MY home, took over the finances and now I am back in the abuse cycle. I'm now planning another escape and this time, he will not find me. I can't let him see me cry although the pain is there so close to the surface. Can't tell anyone about what is happening because of the shame and the fear of losing the friendships that I have made. They all think he's just great...

[@sbfabtfc1]

​@TheAarikja Forgive me for asking, but how did he gain control of your finances and move into your house that you bought yourself?

[@TheAarikja]

We are married. I moved to another country and started a new life. He stayed behind because he is from a foreign country and had a visa. He had no money, no job, so I fully supported him and myself for the 2 years that I was gone. I had signed an affidavit of support for 10 yrs. to move him to the USA. When I went back to sell the house, the car and all my possessions, he had no where to go except with me. I didn't know what to do with him. There were time constraints and overwhelming issues to settle. He came with me and took over.

[@WWZenaDo]

1. That's their extreme levels of greed. My husband also used to wolf his food down. Now I understand that it was his obscene greed showing up at the table.

[@adeledorman6447]

OmG! YES!

[@planetmchanic6299]

Have you ever seen a wolf eat? They'll swallow 5#s of hamburger in one gulp. Yikes!

[@AllThePeppermint]

Absolutely! My parents are both narcissists. My mother once regaled to me a story from when I was extremely young of a time when she went grocery shopping and passed up buying a beef roast, because we couldn't afford it. And that exact same day, my father picked up a box of a dozen donuts after work and ate half of them on his drive home. No surprise some years later he was diagnosed with diabetes. My parents are both awful cooks and we were supposed to be grateful for everything to eat, even though the smell gave me nausea and any remote attempts to eat led to intense gagging and sometimes vomiting. If you flat out refused to eat, he would first make you sit at the table alone indefinitely. Then if he came to check on you and you still hadn't eaten it, he'd spank you with a wooden cheese paddle. I'm in my 30s and still remember how it burned and stung, but I couldn't handle so many foods because they were cooked so badly. But then there was another factor I learned as an adult--my system is highly sensitive and reacts to almost all plant matter. And I have a gene that makes broccoli taste metallic to me. Broccoli was easily one of the worst offenders for me and it was unfortunately commonly served at home. To this day, I almost always eat my food as quickly as possible, preferring to eat out because I know it will be consistent in flavor, and alone. Even if I could eat inside the establishment, I eat in my car so I'm not around people.

[@vickibrown8490]

STBX husband used to eat so noisily & quick. Like a dog that hasn't eaten for days. He couldn't possibly taste the food. So many things didn't click until after we separated. When the dust settled, I realised he was a narcissist & all my questions were answered. So eye opening!

[@bethanhamer.8669]

Wow my ex husband shovelled it in like someone was going to steal it,I was embarrassed .and my stepdaughter eats like a pig ,never made connection to their personalities! Spot on

[@KarenRB32]

My husband told me he wouldn't join me for our rare dinner together. I went out with a girlfriend. He woke up (worked nights) and walked passed me to the kitchen, looking for left overs. He stormed toward me. "What did you eat?" (Having learned calmness) "you said you didn't want to ear w me. I went for pizza with a friend" he exploded. "You were supposed to eat alone!!" "So sorry dear, you're my husband, not my daddy." I'm sooooo relieved that I'm not alone in the crazy kitchen story. I'm grateful to you Danish. You have no idea what you have talked me through, sat with me during, and let me cry over. You've been a true friend through the struggle. He's gone now. And I'm so grateful for your companionship, but sorry for your experiences.

[@StephenGangi]

Dump him

[@lavender1986]

Thank God God protected you

[@angel70678]

Wow I like watching your videos because they are truthful. I’m sorry you had to experience the most extreme cases of narcissism. I hope you’ve found healing and joy in your life.

[@deborahabc4117]

I prefer to eat alone and watch KZbin videos as entertainment. It keeps me safe.

[@margaretcarr6387]

Mom would make the kids cry at the dinner table. When Dad asked why, she would say in a defensive prissy way that she was "trying to make Ladies and Gentlemen." It finally took a confrontation with a counselor to get her to stop. When she died, I smiled & did a private happy dance.

[@jenniyum]

My ex-husband would control food under the guise of being healthy and decided at one point that we all become Vegan. Then it was only Organic foods because of the chemicals. Knowing that this restricted us and limited our food supply. However, after I had weight loss surgery he would give me candy bars and treats for presents and praise all the time. Pre-surgery and he would sometimes get angry when I had those things. Even telling me no very loudly in stores when I would put sweets in the cart. It all comes down to that sick need for control and to abuse which is disgusting and heartbreaking. My heart is with anyone who has been through narcissistic abuse.

[@texasgma3578]

Yes! Mine would alternately binge eat then purge via diet and exercise. He ALWAYS blamed me for his binging. If I wanted something like M & Ms he would remove them from the shopping cart and tell me that I didn’t need them.

[@jenniyum]

@@texasgma3578 My ex had the same cycle. He would look drastically different with his weight about every 2-3 years. He was never happy with his body, no matter the changes he made and that was always my fault as well. I am so sorry that you went through this as well. I hope that you are safe and that you are healing now.

[@texasgma3578]

@@jenniyum your kind response truly means a lot to me. I am blessed to have a strong steady man in my life now who is nothing like my ex. Our exs sound so similar! I always had him watching over my shoulder to make sure I wasn’t putting any prohibited items in his food (e.g., white flour, sugar, etc.). And he would cook up the most disgusting food if he decided it was more healthy. Soybean patties instead of real meat, for example. Crazy making stuff. So glad I finally left!

[@jenniyum]

@@texasgma3578 I am so happy for you and glad to hear it! When you talk with those who experienced long term narcissistic abuse it's like they all read the same script somehow. It will never cease to amaze me. Soybeans were a no-no because of the estrogen properties *eye roll*. It was a garbanzo bean and mushroom mash in our household.

[@bossupathomewithtequila]

Wow my family member is doing this to the kids…. “Let’s be healthier “ . I feel so bad for them.

[@lolo9553ify]

Danish, it’s like you were there at my childhood home dinners. The narcissist was exacting about how to eat, what to eat and what to say at the table. There was a lot of criticizing and ‘correcting’. When I got older and felt less inclined to go along with all the rigid rules, it apparently showed up on my face. When I was 12 or 13, my father took severe offense at my facial expression so he picked up and threw my dinner plate across the room, over my mother’s head and into the wall. He banished me from eating with the family henceforward and denounced me for causing the trouble even though he’d endangered my mother by hurling a plate over head. I know he denounced me to make sure that everyone at the table, my younger siblings, blamed me and not him. He and my mother denounced me a lot. Yes, for most of my life I felt unacceptable as a person because of the scapegoating but I felt liberated the day he banished from eating with him. For a moment I rejoiced.

[@exwyzee]

You described my last two narc relationships. Im four years out and been single since and the peace is priceless. Ive educated myself thouroughly during this time and now feel i can spot a narc very quickly now and can just observe others and see them. They purposely kill every thing that is normally a peaceful, fulfilling, joyful experience. So glad for videos like this. Really they probably saved my life. ~Still happily alone at peace.~

[@k.h.307]

I got out of my last relationship and he was such a mind game and such a narcissist that, I'm done with romantic relationships.

[@renel7303]

​@@k.h.307at my age that is pretty much a given. But since I haven't had a romantic relationship for at least 25 years I'm actually used to that. I'm looking forward to the peace of an empty house.

[@rozyscozy]

"They purposely kill everything that is normally a peaceful, fulfilling, joyful experience." How very well said; that's exactly what happens! I remember when, going out for dinner with my narc boyfriend, we would be discussing what we might have and I would maybe talk about two options. Then, between that conversation and the waiter coming, I would spot a third that I i liked even more, and end up going for that. The amount of criticism I got for "saying one thing and then doing another" - for something as inconsequential as choosing what you're going to eat! For years he managed to make me feel bad and/or foolish for something that is just a simple, innocent part of life. You would have thought I had violated the terms of an important contract I'd signed, from the way he complained! It's incredible how they suck the joy out of everything and, as you said so eloquently, "purposely kill" all of these positive aspects of life. These comments and stories do not cease to amaze me. I'm so glad that that part of your life is now firmly behind you.

[@sunshinegal4294]

“Peace is priceless” AMEN!

[@marianperron9219]

Very interesting topic. My husband will fix his own food and not ask me if I’d like anything. He also does not wait for me to eat, so that’s another style. He also puts food right on the table. At first I thought he didn’t know any better. Now I know it’s as you said - to be disgusting and disgust others.

[@Martina1192]

Yes! Any time I make food, which is 99% of the time, it’s for everyone- me, my husband and kids. It would never occur to me to just make something for myself when the family is home. On rare occasions he’d make something, like breakfast over the weekend, say scrambled eggs for example, he’d only make it for himself and not even ask if anyone else wanted something. I used to say, add couple of extra eggs for the kids, and he’d get mad, as if I asked him for something huge. He’d start ranting “ you just have to start…I can’t even make breakfast in peace… you just have to bother me…” and so on. It literally takes almost no additional effort to cook a few extra eggs, but he’d make such a big deal out of it, that I stopped asking. I just get up after he’s done and make food for everyone. Or when he might not like something I made for dinner, he’d say I’m serving vomit and he’d storm out and get something from a restaurant just for himself. A few months ago, I came back home from a long 2 day international flight with my daughter in the afternoon. It was getting to be dinner time and he went outside and grilled 1 steak just for himself and ate it for dinner, NOT ONCE asking if me and my son and daughter wanted some dinner. Especially after such long trip, it would have been nice if he made dinner for everyone. But after watching him eat his steak, I then made dinner for the rest of the family. Or last night, it was a miracle, but it started the same. I came home after having surgery and I hear him in another room placing order from the restaurant over the phone just for himself. But then, a few minutes later, he must have realized that he should get something for me too, so he asked me if I wanted something. It took him a few minutes later to remember that our son was home and then he asked him if he wanted something. That was all a miracle and it still took 3 separate phone calls to the restaurant. But only because I had surgery, he’d never be thoughtful otherwise.

[@SandandInk]

Wow! Took me such long time to realize I was married to a narcissistic person - in 2020 I had never really heard of narcissist before and then I heard dr. David Clarke talking about it on a radio show - I was seriously shouting at the radio “yes!” And “that’s me!” Since then I have been emotionally withdrawing but for many reasons have not physically left Tonight listening to you talk about food traits - the same thing is happening - it is eye opening - had no idea the eating was a trait of narcissism as well - I deal with gluttony, obscene eating behaviors - eating with hands, belching as he eats, dropping food all over the floor, licking fingers, guzzling drinks - it is so embarrassing and gross. And I have two sons with eating issues - seeing now that it’s got to be influenced by witnessing the animal behavior with food So sad And I get so mad that when I was young and dating - no one ever talked about this - they only talked about being a good and obedient wife

[@renel7303]

​@@SandandInkI hear you! I thought narcissists were self absorbed, like Narcissis from Greek mythology. I studied art history. 😊 This past year is when I found out that my guy is indeed an ass but he is over the top a narcissist. His relationship with food is disgusting. We are learning and growing.

[@DHARK1873]

My mother would beat me for gagging on fish. Believe me, I very well understood the food cost money and that we didn’t have enough money for us to choose different foods for dinner night. Since I understood this, I said I was fine if it meant I wasn’t allowed any dinner at all that time, so then I got beat for “being ungrateful”.

[@micheleharasymiw3175]

Now I understood why I have so much anxiety about food. I’m 66 years old and never understood until now! Thank you! I can start healing now. My kitchen is a mess so I don’t have to cook. Lol! I think I will clean it tomorrow and start my healing ❤️‍🩹

[@sharronmillar7052]

CONGRATULATIONS 🎉❤

[@anneofgreengables1619]

I got to the point where I couldn't bear to sit & eat with him. The horrendous table manners, noises & talking with food in his mouth made me cringe. Plus he would eat at lightning speed leaving me sitting alone at a restaurant for example to run outside for a cigarette. Or sit there blowing smoke on my meal because I eat slowly. Nightmare 🤢

[@InsideLookingOut1]

I eat at lightning speed just to get away from my friend. He smacks his food, wont stop talking, and after every spoon full, he proceeds to swish his food around with whatever liquid hes drinking. And has also flossed 3 feet away while im eating.. or narrates my every dang move.. he gotsta go. 🧳

[@texanbeautyboutiquetabitha1739]

Same happened to me!

[@lexandrasisko8878]

My narc clipped his toenails at the dinner table with nails flyiny all over

[@anneofgreengables1619]

@@lexandrasisko8878 My narc left a used kleenex sitting on the dining table ....🤢

[@InsideLookingOut1]

@anneofgreengables1619 my ppl would keep his dirty kleenex, put it in his pocket and reuse.. then would have the nerve to tell me he made me a taco and it was in the fridge (multiple times w food, even after I said pls don't touch with bare hands). Let's not forget everything he just touched.. oh, and he would leave his floss in the shower. - --- by the way he left on his own days ago (after i let him have a piece of my mind). And LET ME TELL U.. it's PEACEFUL and no STRESS. AMEN 🙏

[@sadmimikyu8807]

I am really sorry that you had to experience this awful awful behaviour. There are no words for this. I also want to thank you for making the choice of relieving this to educate us. It helps us all so much to see that we were not crazy. Take care of yourself!

[@MaryNdungu-rb3mh]

Thank you for exposing narcissism. I have recently understood that my ex husband was a narcissist. I was very unhappy in the marriage but couldn't point at the exact peoblem.

[@dahomesteadacre5099]

My Narcissistic husband would drive me crazy constantly saying, "I eat to live, I don't live to eat" even though I'd cook beautiful , delicious meals, I'd never be praised for in any way. Then, he'd gorge himself with my food and stab at it in weird ways that I and my children would be so irritated that we couldn't stand having him at the table to hear him or see him. They are sick and sickening.

[@eileenmcintyre8632]

...and I'll add...evil!

[@BridgeDiNielli]

This made me tear up. Ex would say that too. I eat to live not live to eat. I too made beautiful food. Then get you made too much. He loved my cooking though unless he didn’t lol always a roller coaster. Peace to you💜

[@lesliemcmillan2971]

Something I didn't hear mentioned that I dealt with. My father was EXTREMELY picky. He refused to eat anything other than about 5 or 6 foods he liked. But he also didn't like for us to eat anything else, even when the beans he forced us to eat constantly gave us such gastro intestinal upset we couldn't sleep. I refused to eat, lost 1/3 of my body weight, and CPS was contacted. Mom began to cook other things, but he hated me the most from then on. I was 3.

[@eileenmcintyre8632]

😢

[@jamiepentz4682]

My husband the same me and my kid's loved different types of food but he would bitch a storm up if we didn't eat dinner like him. Always complain about how our food stunk.

[@KJCM-56]

@@jamiepentz4682 I have read lots of comments on many videos looking for anyone who has gone through what I have. My husband of 49 years is extremely picky but has this smell thing! Good food smells he says makes him sick so me and our 2 kids were not allowed to eat anything that he didn’t like to smell! I’ve never been allowed to bring onion or garlic in the house along with sooo many other foods. No spices. Everything is bland. When my kids were young we were eating a frozen pizza and he came in from work early. He ranted about the smell and sprayed Lysol over our heads at the table. I could never have perked coffee, only instant cause he hates to smell it. Things are better since we are older and the kids are grown but I still can’t cook many things in the house. I have a stove in a building. For all those years I let him bully me into not eating foods I enjoyed cause it would make my breath bad. I don’t put up with the nonsense anymore I eat what i want. Both my kids love to cook after being so restricted in what they could eat growing up but sadly they both have had to battle anxiety, panic attacks and depression. The videos have helped me figure out that my husband is a covert narc. And I can’t change him but I can keep him from stealing my joy!

[@leahtreck1083]

Thank you for sharing this truthful video. My mother was so much like this. At dinner after my dad got home from a hard day’s work, she would start an argument with him, not only upsetting him, but ruining dinner for my sister and me as well. Also, I had a partner who would upset our mealtime by eating really fast while talking about all different kinds of food that wasn’t even involved with this particular meal and after he was done eating would abruptly get up from the table and leave me there to finish my meal alone. He wouldn’t even excuse himself. Here I worked hard to prepare a nice dinner for us in the hopes of enjoying some time together only to be left alone and disappointed. The day I left him was one of the most freeing days of my life.

[@dougplahn8507]

They love having the children crying at the dinner table , after the kids cry , that’s when they are happy.

[@zigzag9133]

Disgusting , broken people. SO sorry !!!!!

[@rabim106]

That’s fkd up

[@stjohnbaby]

I remember my mom making fun of me when I cried,and shaming me.

[@cateyu5547]

Yes! Your pain is the food they actually want. They don’t care about real food, they want their emotional food, which is your reactions and your suffering!

[@audhumbla6927]

oh yes. I was sent away from dinner so often, to my room, and then when I was allowed back out, starving, she would purposfully stabd there pouring the fresh hot food down into the trash can. EVERY time. I cried and said please stop Im so hubgry, you know I didnt get to eat anything" and she would just play dumb but never stop throwing all the prescious food in the trash. They are pure evil. Also what Danesh said about them not feeling taste. My mom would always be so stresded and angry while cooking then eat like an animal, always get food under her long finger nails, and then always be dissatisfied and like "was that even good, I couldnt really taste it, it tasted like nothing like always, arghhh". Its SO WILD to learn that every little thing is connected, and that so many of us have seen all this. Absolutly crazy. Thanks and Bless everyone.

[@pygmalionsrobot1896]

I'm glad you made this video !!! Here is what I observed in my malignant narc. [1] Narc would chew with mouth open, [2] narc would make gulping noises, grunting noises while stuffing his face, [3] narc would NEVER compliment the chef, or say thank you for the free meal, [4] narc would pass gas during the meal, yes, frequently farting at the table, [5] narc would make childish chewing noises while chewing the food with his mouth open, [6] narc had horrible hygiene and could be smelled at a great distance, the smell was horrible like some kind of zoo animal, this destroys everyone else's meal, [7] narc would not wash his hands, ever, and when reaching for a communal serving dish he would insert his fingers (deliberately) onto food surfaces, or touch food items which others will eat which is disgusting, [8] narc would study the facial expressions of others when he performs one of these boundary violations, [9] narc had several favorite meals, one of them was tacos. Narc would insist on browning the meat (for 3 people), and instead of using 1 packet of spice he would add perhaps 4 or even 6 packets of spice mix, this really makes the taco meat inedible for most people, [10] when making coffee in a standard US coffee maker the narc would use 10 times the normal amount of coffee grounds, making the coffee extremely strong and undrinkable, [11] this narc would make a single taco on his plate and would use about 1/2 quart of sour cream on 1 single taco, an enormous amount of sour cream, [12] narc would cough and sneeze at the dinner table without covering his mouth or even turning his head away from the table, [13] this narc would insist on discussing the most awkward, uncomfortable and disturbing subjects during the meal, [14] the narc was extremely haughty and rude 100% of the time, angry, loud, filthy and suspicious of others. **** Trying to be nice to someone like this will NOT fix them. They will continue pushing boundaries until their last breath. The solution is to grey rock them and get away from that person, Far, Far Away. Good Luck :D !!! ******

[@Coastalclassics677]

I thought I was the only one having to deal with that behavior . Worst is blowing his nose at the table and laying it down on the table opened up and refusing to throw it away. He does this when he has bloody noses as well Which he often has. Acts like a 2 year old. So disgusting .

[@maryd253]

Except one or two things, it sounds like my husband. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@blackimpala6748]

This sounds demonic.

[@cmbugby]

Why am I 51 years old and just now learning this?! I was with a narcissist for 17 years before divorcing him. And I’d been diagnosed with PTSD years ago. But this, THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH FOR ME. My youngest child is now 19 and feel I am finally coming back to myself a little. But there has been a lot of damage. That is discouraging sometimes. But, no grit…no pearl. I persevere. I have three sons whom I love and a career I cherish. I am lucky. I am content.

[@SuperGingerBickies]

Good freaking grief, Danish! You knocked it out of the park again. I am Autistic and have had a battle with food and social eating for years because my Autism was undiagnosed until my late forties, and certain food textures, smells and other factors would make me stressed out and ill. It has improved slowly over time, but most of it remains unchanged. Sometimes, the thought of eating out makes me feel sick and stressed out. It takes me a long time to pore over menus and decide what to eat. My late narc mother would deliberately embarrass me in front of relatives and others about the food I would not have on my plate. When I was growing up, I didn't understand it. She was putting across the impression that I was an awkward, contrary fussy eater, which was not the case. My sister, however, could eat anything without problems, and she would be praised for having a healthy appetite. Mother was a piggy eater and a heavy smoker (she always denied this fact and fibbed about it to doctors). Back in the days before No Smoking was made compulsory in pubs, cafes, and restaurants, she could not go without lighting up a cigarette at the table and exhaling her smoke through her nose whilst I was eating. Ugh!

[@regineheine5707]

My mother always wanted me to eat or drink something “ healthy”. In my teenage-years my father was in a bad mood every Sunday morning. So I chose not to get up in these mornings, and got up somehow on my own and ate all alone in the kitchen. Even me being over 30 years old my mother would come for Christmas’ eve’s dinner. I had told her in advance what we had planned to eat. No objections . Then she arrived and told me she had a certain kind of meat she wanted to eat and asked me for oil. I gave her the one I had. This one is no good for this purpose, I was told. Do you have parsley? No? Had she known this she would have brought some with her. I was so angry at her but swallowed my anger. She died more than 20/years ago. It really makes sense why I was angry. I always ate what she had prepared being at her home, no objections.

[@time_2_get_ready]

CRIKEY! SPOT ON, Danish! My ex "husband" made stupid noises, he'd dribble food down his chin, slobber, eat with his hands. He had the strangest habit of staring longingly at food on his and other's plate! He'd even TAKE food off other's plates and excuse it by saying he thought they had finished! And in all honesty, he is the ONLY person in all my 63 years, that I have seen do this! Thank you for exposing this craziness publicly, it sure is nice to know we're not alone ❤

[@christinesbetterknitting4533]

I am so grateful that you got away from him!

[@time_2_get_ready]

@@christinesbetterknitting4533 Thank you ❤

[@mariapilarme]

My ex husband if we eat out he would find a problem every time, either was hot or cold or salty, or not what he ordered or something. He would create a scene with the poor waitress or waiter. I always stayed silent knowing that they were going to spit at the kitchen in his food. Every time he made my stomach a big nut, I didn’t feel like eating or enjoy it at all. At home he would make his plate and eat in front of the tv while my children and I were at the table. I am so happy he is gone! I love to eat with my friends now.

[@notsoseriousmoonlight]

Your story really touched me. I used to get in trouble for being sick too. One time, as a child, I got sick after eating Taco Bell. I was a skinny kid, and my mother had been accusing me of being anorexic. I was in second grade. I was scared because if she found out I'd been sick, she would probably spank me. I went crying to my dad to not tell her I'd been sick. I didn't want her accusing me of anorexia again. He looked at me and said, you don't even know what that is do you? I didn't. Another time, as a teen, she tried to force feed me a candy bar. I wouldn't eat it so she slapped me and made my nose bleed. It was all about control. Control over my body, and I wasn't allowed many choices.

[@theladyamalthea]

I’m so sorry you went through that 💔

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

so weird and I am so sorry you went thru that. I understand completely. they certainly want to be "right" and force whatever it is onto you to accept it. you are free now, we can acknowledge our pain and then learn to let it go......far, far, away. you are free now. let go..........you were always good, remember that. I am healing too. you are worthy! God loves us.

[@eyeswideopen7777]

Psycho mother

[@BethBrantley-wh5zy]

My parents owned a general store in a small town. Every day in the afternoon my mom would take my brother and I to the store and we were told to pick out a candy for each of us. Then after we were back home we were allowed to eat the candy. If we were not hungry or wanted to wait until later to eat it we were shamed for not appreciating the good things my parents provided for us and that the other children in town don’t get special treats like we do. It was all a setup. We were shamed for gaining weight, and getting cavities and acne, but were still expected to eat the candy every day. This was in addition to a full spread dinner with bread and dessert that we were expected to eat, but for some reason my mom would not eat. It was nuts. Both my brother and I struggled with our weight after that.

[@Foxie770]

My ex husband always performed his delusions of grandeur that he was smarter than everyone and more competent- he was always the hero of every story. He constantly corrected my grammar, how I used my knife and fork, how much I ate. It was exhausting. I’m glad we didn’t have kids together, I wouldn’t want them exposed to his narcissistic abuse.

[@LucieudaChiodi]

After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!

[@Gladys-Martinez622]

I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??

[@LucieudaChiodi]

Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested Ms Claudia Vecchi Nese .

[@LucieudaChiodi]

She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸

[@LucieudaChiodi]

After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.

[@KrollHammons]

God is more than enough for us, and his mercy is new every morning. Hallelujah🎉🎉🎉♥️

[@DawnyBrat]

Many of these are familiar to me, but there are others. 1. Always being the first to take huge helpings of dishes and not caring about what remains for the rest of us. 2. Requiring the largest space at the table (usually the end), seated expansively, and leaving no room for others to place their dishes and drinks on either side in front of (him).

[@MiboJinNoYuwaku]

Yep the small things. Requesting weird things like vegetable soup without vegetables in it. We all ate in separate parts of the house. He would leave all the dishes every day for my mum to pick them up after him, like a slave. He was the only one allowed to have dessert after dinner and always had a HUGE portion. All the foods bought in the house, was because of what he liked. We weren't asked and were conditioned to not ask. My poor traumatised mum always gave in

[@Jen18878]

This is so true. Eating so noisily its disgusting, but I noticed if we went to someone else's house or a restaurant he would eat quietly. When I said you're eating too loud I was accused of eating loud and it became an argument... I should have known when I first saw him eating an orange.. Omg.. 😱

[@factcheckthesehands364]

I hated meals with my narc father and co-dependent mother. He would wait until we all sat down to eat, then start demanding for my mother or myself to get up and get him something (another drink re-fill, a different spoon, a napkin, etc). He never asked my golden child sister to get up. After making us get up several times, he’d then hold court (as Danesh said-talking about humiliating someone & how proud he was of himself) while my mom and sister would take it all in and look at him in awesome reverence. He’d then start picking on me “why are you eating one thing at a time? Why don’t you mix your food?” Or if I was mixing my food, he had something you say about that as well. On top of all this, I grew up eating the same 4 or 5 meals every day because mom only made what he wanted. It wasn’t until I left at 18, that I got to try Chinese food. Edited to add-you’d better bring him the correct glass or utensil, otherwise he’d scream and belittle you. He even nearly killed me once because of the way I handed his glass to him. Apparently I didn’t do it to his liking. Mom and sister thought he was justified because “I should’ve known better than to hold his glass that way.”

[@audreydoyle5268]

Let me guess, you held the rim of the glass with your fingertips? Yeah, I did that once, but reacting like a mad king is no way to treat a child. Pretty similar upbringing, same meals every week, and I felt sick after most of them. Turns out I'm gluten intolerant, but oh no, having the step dik's rotting teeth and moles removed were more important than their scullery maid scapegoat throwing up in her mouth almost every night. And oh so precious golden boy could have chickie nuggets every night or pasta with tomato sauce (🤢) if his highness pleased. But I was being difficult for not setting the table on time, or not getting the step douche his favourite Marvel comics glass (the absolute manchild), or wanting only lime cordial every night rather than orange, which made me feel sick 🙄 He also made comments on why I didn't mix my peas and corn with my rice (cause mixed textures make me wretch), or why I held my fork in a way that didn't hurt my fingers, had to hold it like a pencil, which, due to my hEDS, made my index finger ache. He had things to say about my older sister scraping her food off her fork with her teeth (she had trauma over burning her mouth a lot as a child cause she didn't wait or blow on her food). He rambled and vented all night about our "misbehaviour, done just to piss him off".

[@phalinimcleod8819]

Oh boy! 'Why are you eating one thing at a time?' was one of the signature complaints my narc husband had about me. He would try to shame me in public about how I chose to eat my meals. I would explain that it helped me digest the food better, but he never stopped making fun of me and laughing about how I ate.

[@eileenmcintyre8632]

So sorry. Hope all is well now. It's a power thing and once you take back your power, they can't hurt you anymore. It does take time to heal though. All the best. ❤

[@factcheckthesehands364]

@@phalinimcleod8819 they are so good insufferable. If it’s not how you eat, then they make fun of how you walk, talk, laugh, dress, even your handwriting. My dad had something to say about all those things and more. I hope you’ve gotten away from him.

[@factcheckthesehands364]

@@eileenmcintyre8632 Thank you. I’m very low-contact with my parents and sibling and have much more peace than I ever thought I’d have. Blessings to you.

[@JulieofGod]

This is heart breaking! Food aggression in people? Never heard of such a thing til now. I didn't realize how blessed my childhood was. I still miss family suppers at the table. Saying grace, animatedly sharing each others events of the day and yes, practicing table manners and asking to be excused were of course, part of the deal but it was taught with patient kindness and was a welcome and pleasant experience we all looked forward to. I miss those days immensly. Practiced same with my kids til all were grown and gone. Now its empty chairs til the holidays. I thank God for those!

[@JellyBean-jh1rq]

Excellent material. That cramming food down their throat like they were in a race was so familiar. Never knew other people went through strange habits at the dinner table like I did. I still have never met anyone else who was not able to eat around other people, or they start throwing up. Was laughed at and told I was a pig all through childhood. That loud high piched hyena laugh. I was so embarrassed of myself wouldn't even use the bathroom at school. So glad I found your channel. Hope I can figure out how to heal. Thank you.

[@loraneilson1698]

Thank you for this great video. I am anorexic. I can not have a scale in my home. I thought it was my only control of myself. Now I know why, I am getting better each day. You are encouraging for me to stay strong. Stay cool and groovy.

[@oliviamiller9267]

I wish you a better future sweetheart.

[@msigg2656]

Growing up I became bulimic. I was forced to eat after I said I was full. If I didn't eat a particular something in the enormous quantity she wanted me to my mom would start to cry. Then, my dad would tell me to just eat it to make my mom happy. The satisfaction on her face at my misery was crazy and those tears immediately stopped and became that evil smile. I began to throw targeted leftovers away in the middle of the night and would say I ate it all.

[@lynfawcett221]

I never realised thus. But my husband had bad eating habits. He would always add lots of salt to any meal without first tasting it. So I stopped using as much in my cooking. Then he would seem to inhale his meal, he always finished before anyone else at the table. Even when we had gone out for a meal with friends. Then at the end of a meal, he would always say that ge'd eaten too much. And of course, there was always the noises he made. I think that in the 41 years of our marriage, I condition myself not to hear him.

[@eyeswideopen7777]

Sounds like a pig

[@debscott5954]

Spot on! Thank you for listing these items. I just broke up with a narcissistic person. He tried to force me to eat and was an absolute pig at table. It makes me feel much better to know these are actual traits that I had noticed. Thank you!

[@deanhil3978]

#1 and 5 ... A guest and i were catching a breath after a family gathering, he asked, "MAN,, how long has it been since he ATE!!" Hugs to everyone, we dont forgive for their sake,,, but for our own!

[@Sorchia56]

Absolutely agree on the forgiveness part. Otherwise it just eats at you and they are winning. Let it all go, including the toxic ones, and live your best life. 💚

[@bagoodhuman143]

Danish , keep up your great work thanks a lot for shedding light on this abuse that millions of people silently undergo and spend years of our precious time with the Narcs which is a dead hole . Your work greatly impacts our life thanks 🎉heaps

[@kittykatjagirl]

Food was the best and worst part of my family life. After my brother left for college, my sister and I had to fend for ourselves. Dinners and lunches were no longer at the table and we often found ourselves snacking and sneaking junk food to get by. School lunches were the only things that were the most consistent. When we ate out or hosted events, we were told to eat as much as we wanted. We would be far too hungry or deprived of sustenance to be looking at anyone while we indulged in a proper meal only a few times a month outside of school. When my brother returned home, meals were abundant and we ate out often. If we tried to cook, it would be all wrong to mom and it would never be good enough. The fridge would be full of ingredients, but only for mom to work with. If there was an idea on what or where to eat, mom had to want it for everyone to be happy. And cooking something in a way mom didn’t like meant the meal was unsalvageable unless she stepped in to make it better. Looking back, my sister and I were a threat to making her look bad if we knew how to make food, because my mother only made what she wanted and did not know more than what she cared to learn. She could cook some basics, she just chose not to risk it… Food for me is something that walks the line of great happiness and great pain. Now that I am no contact with my mother, and I am learning from my mother-in-law (who loves to cook and give tidbits,) I am working on trying to love food in a new and better way.

[@marysullivan1815]

I'm so sorry Danish that you went through this as a child

[@DrValerie800]

My mother got angry at me when I wouldn't eat 2 things that actually made me vomit: creamed spinach or pickled beets. She would make me sit at the table (or under the table) and refuse to let me eat anything else unless I ate whichever of those I hadn't eaten...for 3 days. She would put that plate of disgusting crap in front of me, it having been left out for all of those 3 days, and tell me to pretend it was a tootsie roll. Ugh. After 3 days (when she couldn't take trying to discipline and control me anymore), she would throw it out, spank me until her hand hurt too much, and then deny me any of the things I loved to do, for several weeks. I continued to refuse those foods (I hate vomiting!). When I was in my 40's, I happened to look in my baby book, and right there, in the list of foods that I could or could not tolerate, where the hated ones. I shoved that in front of her face, pointing out how she had abused me with those. She laughed and said "Ooops." My mother was an a-hole. I didn't know she was a narcissist until after she passed and I had to deal with other narcissists. It took me 50+ years to realize my mother was a liar and only cared what other people thought of her. It was weird though...she did have those moments of love. Maybe that was just to draw us in. She was a master manipulator and I drove her crazy; at this point in my life, I can see why (I drive all control freaks crazy).

[@HuHWhat-yi8cp]

When she was not looking I'd stuff the food down the side of the chair or into my shoes or slippers. She also had an old fashioned organ ( never played it) but another good place to stuff dreaded types of food in through the pedals at the bottom. 🤣 Once put some food in an old jewel box - tied a string on it & lowered it down from my bedroom window - retrieved it later - disposed of the dinner - like being a spy or James Bond ! 🤣 If she made or had something delicious & I asked for some - she would say no & not share. Her life was not exactly happy - but I would not want to meet her again.

[@eileenmcintyre8632]

Keep driving them crazy...stay strong. God bless you x

[@DrValerie800]

@@eileenmcintyre8632 Thank you; God bless you as well!

[@jodirose922]

They LOVE to punish with food. I have eating disorders now. And they are why. I am so sorry she did that to you.

[@DrValerie800]

@@jodirose922 I am so sorry yours did that to you as well! Wishing you freedom from the food disorders.

[@lindaslay1089]

My thoughts and solutions for this have always been the same…I have now completely stopped eating at the table with my Narc. I go eat by myself in the den. I reminded him after being wronged by him or anyone else, I will not sit down and “break bread” with that person at the table and act like nothing happened at all. I can tell he is not happy with my solution.

[@prunelle9051]

So true, they look like they really have more than a thrill telling how they treat others badly. With their evil grin of satisfaction.

[@76482]

Yep.. that's the narc smirk.

[@kathijohnston3881]

How true

[@NikkiGRocks4Ever]

If I didn’t finish everything on my plate, my narcissistic dad would tell me that how dare I not be grateful for the food in front of me because after all, there are starving people in Africa who are dying. Unfortunately I developed multiple eating disorders. It has taken years but I now have a healthy habits.

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

my mother would make us eat it at the next meal so I learned to hide what I didn't eat or throw it away somehow. I even remember wrapping up my runny nasty eggs in a napkin and putting it in the napkin holder to hide it.

[@MissOne]

I remember falling asleep at the table. but I had to eat the same plate the next day, heated in the oven. no microwave then.

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

@@MissOne microwaves kill the nutrients anyway, so ........

[@marilynbrown5274]

@@MissOne I heard a co worker..saying that is what she did to her daughter. Kept giving her the same plate till it went bad. Shocked doesn't even cover my reaction to that.

[@SassyST]

Exactly my experience. And God help me if we were out to eat at a restaurant and I didn’t finish everything on my plate right there. “Don’t order anything you’re not going to eat every bite of.” As if there weren’t ‘doggy bags?’ I was just a kid-how can a skinny little girl be expected to eat restaurant-sized portions of food in one sitting?! Completely unrealistic expectations. I recognized even then how ridiculous it all was.

[@sntk351]

Last year I had to watch all the videos on You Tube and read several serious articles on narcissm to the extent that I thought I was ready to write a PhD thesis 😊. This was all necessary because of my very elderly father whom I had diagnosed as being a "control freak" after mom passed away. He then turned into a horrible narcissist which got out of hand. My main objective was to find clues as to how to talk to him while protecting myself from his insults, accusations and criticisms. Luckily I lived in another country all my adult life but he used that for emotional blackmail too. He, not only had his own view as to how his own child and grandchild should live but also about other people around him. Another very bad practice was to make up stories which were not at all true. His staff and I, we regularly exchanged notes in order to survive. Dad wasted a lot of time making up these scenarious and pack of lies in his head. This morning I came across your video purely by chance since I do not need to seek help anymore. Dad passed away 8 months ago. Your video was very interesting though. Dad had awful table manners. Basically he had none. My mom and especially my grandmother were not amused. Moreover, when we went out to eat, if the food he ordered was not to his satisfaction, he would call the waiter and the chef and insult them in a loud voice. 😡 What you described regarding "taking food away" using excuses like "you are going to put on weight"...he did that to my daughter when we visited him. The insults and accusations were not restricted to restaurants, taxi drivers etc either. On several occasions I had to apologise from bankers because they were accused of stealing. Dad was highly respected for his knowledge and experience. Luckily some people around him tried to excuse his awful general behaviour to old age. Because I was in close contact with people from his familiar surroundings, I knew that they were also treated pretty badly especially towards the end of his life. I am also an elderly person. I always think that no matter how successful one is in life professionally, when the time comes for a funeral, if the closest family members take a sigh of relief and the tears are rather for "what a wonderful relationship it could have been", then unfortunately the person who passed away has failed miserably in life. I wish everyone here who have and still are suffering in the hands of a narcissistic person, a lot of strength. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@Seven_709]

I'm sorry you went through that. Thank you for sharing and helping us in close situations.

[@monongahelacats]

My ex would always reply when asked if he liked dinner “ I’m still thinking about it”. This blew my mind.

[@SquishyGrayMatter]

Yup i feel u

[@jennSalvate]

Not "I'm still thinking about it" because maybe it was that good??

[@monongahelacats]

@@jennSalvate Definitely not. When you taste something good or bad, you know it right away. He was just odd.

[@maryd253]

My hubby cannot compliment the meals I fix……but if he fixes something on the grill (every three months he will do this) he goes on and on and on and on….. Also when we go to eat at someone’s house (non family) he will go on and on and on….

[@pcamp865]

I am so happy I found you. I was raised be an overt narcissist father and a covert narcissist mother like you.

[@alienonion4636]

Meals and mealtimes are their favorite times for drama and trauma. I've seen the opposite of animal manners...the picking over food like they have no interest which is usually the overweight narcissist. Not much hungry they say especially when eating out so take it home and save it in the fridge until it's beyond rotting. And the ones like my mom who like to bring up sensitive subjects during a meal. And let's not leave out the holiday or Sunday meals where more family are present... that's when it gets uglier or you get the looks that say just wait until they're gone. Ugh. It's great to be an adult and one more educated about narcissism and how to recover from the abuses. Thanks Danish for your insightful videos.

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

my good God to think we suffered because we had no idea what this was or that it actually was their sickness that we were being subjected to. we really need to realize that we are actually worthy of so much more in Life. God bless us to wake up and to heal.

[@marygraceredfield2702]

Danish, thank you for sharing. So sorry that you and your famiky had to endure such trama. May you continue to heal and have a fulfilling future. Be blessed and stay blessed.

[@dianekennedy2334]

I am truly amazed how much this has applied to my marriage