6 months left to live... No one to take care of my disabled son after my death | Undercover Korea

Ms. Kim Miha, who is raising a child with disabilities, is diagnosed a terminal cancer recently. She is taking care of her son without a husband, and she has only three months left to live. She is unable to receive treatment comfortably due to concerns about her son's future after her death.
All copyrights to this video belong to KBS.
KBS is a public broadcasting service in South Korea.
Air date: Jun 23th, 2023.
#developmentaldisabilities #documentary #southkorea

[@lisaleaton2006]

It's very sad to see that South Korea, is a very developed country who is in denial of a community of children who have a disability (no matter what it is) and the loving parents of these children (whatever age they are) are suffering and not getting any support from the Government, SHAME ON YOU!!

[@fernemcallister6774]

It is terrible. When you’re a parent of a child with disabilities, our biggest fear is what will happen to our child when we pass away. I know many parents in my state (Ct), USA, who are elderly and still taking care of their disabled adult children. We are told there is no residential help until the last caregiver dies. Which means then the adult child may be moved from the area he’s lived in all his life, all things familiar to him will be gone…. I think it’s true in many areas, many countries. It’s heartbreaking.

[@jasmineuelese730]

i could not agree more with this comment, and its heartbreaking seeing these children too and their parents be ignored and struggling to take care of them too in their old age and not getting any resources or education too.im in tears watching this, cause i have a nephew who is autistic hes only 4 rn but lucky his mom and the government here is on to it in australia theirs so much resources/programmes for him, i still feel for my nephew too how he will grow up and how the world will treat him.

[@nomomania6827]

​​@@fernemcallister6774 Yes indeed, this situation happens in many developed countries. Unfortunately, there is no paradise in any country no matter how wealthy or how developed the country is.

[@wyliem]

The us is even worse.

[@ampa4989]

It's like this everywhere because we are all busy with our own troubles. It's sad, but that's just how the world works. It was the reason my husband and I decided to never wittingly have a mentally disabled child. We would care for him always and have the means, but what would happen to him when we are gone? Stories of guardians stealing from adult wards are rife. I once read an article about a judge, a friend of the father of a disabled daughter, bankrupt her after the father died, though the father had left her millions. Another father in a similar situation got Parkinson's. When he reached some stage where he could no longer care for himself and his adult Down Syndrome child, he shot his son and himself to death because there was no one else who could look after him. I will never forget that story and how helpless he must have felt.

[@calidreams5379]

South Korean government should be ASHAMED for not taking action to provide care for these disabled adults. A 84 year old elderly woman should NOT be put in a position to take care of her disabled 56 year old son. Citizens pay TAX and it’s the government’s job to create safety nets for disabled adults. Really heartbreaking to see the struggles of both parents and adult children.

[@lisaellis2593]

Agreed

[@ampa4989]

They could provide care, but it won't be good. Just look at what happens in the US. The families get money to provide care themselves, but once mentally disabled adults have to go into a care home, sad things usually happen unless the family has money. It's like this everywhere.

[@akabaimchen3532]

I sincerely wish your comment would reach its milestone.

[@user-pm9tk4tf5k]

This is the case in all developed countries unlike poor countries relatives and communities will look after. But regardless of these disability homes , abuse is prevalent so as in child protection. No parent would want to subject their child in such a home?

[@marsv5300]

In Korea, severely disabled people receive a monthly pension of $300-400. There is also support for hospital expenses. There are also facilities that protect unaccompanied disabled people. However, it cannot be compared to being cared for by a mother at home.This mother is worried about her children who will have to go to a facility after she dies.

[@fifana3heart]

It's so hard even to watch it, I can't even imagine how she is able to sleep at night, it must so hard for her

[@souljourney60]

I live in the US and we deal with the same issues here. NO CARE or SERVICES for adults with autism or their parents. My daughter is 33 and there is nothing here where i lived to help, assist, or provide relief. I have been with her 24hrs a day 7 days a week for the last 25 years. I also had to homeschool her starting in the 4th grade because the school system was not equipped to deal with autistic students and she was falling through the cracks and not able to keep up. They focus on early intervention here in the US if you are even lucky to get help due to so many children on waiting lists. Once kids age out of the system at age 18 parents are on their own, because health insurance also ages out. So we are laterally without. I am like these parents. I am 63 with my own health issues and my greatest fear is leaving my child alone. My heart goes out to all of these parents and the children they love.

[@AquaBloomStudio]

If your child is diagnosed early they can get help through ACRC. This is a program on CAlifornia that I know of since I’m trying to see if my four years old have autism. ACRC helps adults who has previous diagnosed before age 18.

[@palamoi]

The 1915 HCBS (Home & Community Based Services) Waiver is available in all states. These services are funded under Medicaid. Call your state Department Of Health and ask someone to transfer you to the Developmental Disabilities Division (DDD). Talk to them and explain your situation. It sounds your daughter is eligible for services and a case manager will be assigned to her. For 10 years, I worked as a service supervisor for an agency that provided support services for adults with intellectual and physical disabilities. Here in Hawaii, kids with special needs age out from public schools when they reach 21. Then their case is transferred under the I/DD Medicaid Program. Their case manager will interview different agencies to provide support services for that individual My job was to develop individual plans of care and goals for participants (autism, down's syndrome, traumatic brain injury and other medical conditions). Some had to learn daily living skills (personal hygiene, dressing, preparing simple meals, money management) while higher functioning participants learned skills to help them enter the workforce. Each has a direct support worker (DSW) to help implement their programs. For more information go to the Medicaid.gov and search for Home & Community Based Services 1915. I hope this helps you. I wish you and your daughter all the best. God bless.

[@diana4987]

I cried so much. How courageous, resilient and loving are these parents to care meticulously for their children.

[@ags.aaronchan6643]

I adopted my son from South Korea and he is also on the spectrum (non-verbal). 나도 많이 걱정돼요. Even though everyday is challenging, he is my blessing and without him, I would not be a mother. ❤ 내 소원이 한국 날아가 장애인을 위해 더 많은 일을 하고 지원이 필요한 가족을 돕는 것 입니다. 장애인의 부모님 화이팅. ❤ Thank you K-Doc for bringing this very important matter to the public.

[@lilylee5924]

This is heartbreaking for parents of children with disabilities. More facilities needs to be in place for individuals with disabilities especially when parents are aging or ailments themselves. This problem is all over the world. May God watch over these people and give them strength.

[@tzechean]

not one but 2 kids with disabilities, widow and cancer?!! c'mon.. what can worst than this woman life????

[@darleenclarke499]

😢😢😢

[@2023smolrandom]

Nothing. A so called "God" gave her this as an "obstacle" that she can overcome, a tool for "sanctification." First, he allowed a child to develop cognitive and development disabilities, a disability that modern medicine can maybe help, but not cure. Then, he allowed this child's only caregiver to grow terminal cancer. This is why I'm an atheist. A loving "God" should not allow so much pain and suffering, just so he can "test" their faith, so he can encourage them to come "closer to him." But when Jesus heard this, He said, “This sickness is not to end in death, but for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified by it.” John 11:4 (NASB) A god who does not want his disciples to be selfish, but he allows us to suffer for his "glory." This is the bullshit as to why I chose to be atheist.

[@sophiecho_Official1]

@@2023smolrandom I can relate on a lot of levels, my older brother is in autism spectrum. He's already 24 We were raised as born-again christians, but at age 20 I pretty changed my beliefs. I guess this is more comfortable to me, because in this way, I wouldn't have any expectations anymore to the god I used to know

[@sergel02]

@@2023smolrandomThere are many more religions and belief systems outside of Christianity though. Though religion and spirituality seem to be a source of hope for some of these parents to get to the next day, judging from their words and items in their homes. I do feel somewhat similar to you but I also don’t really get why your comment was about your personal issues unrelated to the video.

[@betsyjannetalegremartinez9713]

Dios es amor el tiene un propósito, el detalle es creer en el y entregar nuestra voluntad y sueños.. Y adorar a un Dios vivo y no imágenes.. Bendiciones

[@nenghoidimngel2738]

It's so heart breaking to watch, I feel for these parents. May God bless n heal them so that they continue to care for their children.

[@sergel02]

This was a very well put-together documentary. It’s so sad and tragic, and I do hope more funding and laws can be used to help the parents and their children.

[@cheetarronas6301]

I was once an intern as a teacher for kids with spectrum. To be honest everyday was a challenge but I definitely love it. I am a mother and seeing these kids and my previous students, it breaks my heart. Treat them nice whenever you see them and do not judge them.

[@shishey9203]

my son is autistic and non verbal this is what I am terrified of..no one will take care of him if one day that I am gone..no one can predict the future how long we will live

[@summerwine121]

Same here 😔

[@jeritokumoto5273]

Korea needs to study behavioral therapy for children with autism. If caught early and provided with the proper help many of the kids can be high functioning and integrated in society. Those with high-end autism can be taught skills but will need assistance for life. America isn't the greatest at providing the services but at least they are available. Disabled children in Korea seem to be hidden instead of helped.

[@LoveYoonMin]

My nephew is a non verbal autistic. His mom stopped working to fully support and stay with him everyday while his father provides for their needs. I know this isn't my son's burden but I told him to look after and provide for his cousin when I and his aunt and uncle are no longer in this world.

[@corliss3239]

No one can beat the love from a parent.

[@shilen9627]

I hope that the governments will listen to their favors and give them necessarily support 🙏

[@mimiinalittleworld]

Taehyeong is actually a lovely person, he doesn't want his ma to wear a hat because she looks beautiful without it. I wish her to have a long healthy life so she can stay with his son for a really long time! And to all the parents here as well, you're amazing!

[@nivity]

This is just so sad in every way 😢

[@crystalnguyen5023]

This a just a whole ball of sadness and stress I just watched 🥲 I feel so sorry for these parents. And I worry about these kids fate after their parents are gone as well. Tragic for both parties.

[@detgirl11]

Although sad.. the documentary gives me courage that I am not alone in this world.

[@wurstbrat.]

Ms Miha, thank you for loving us. Thank you for never treating your children like burdens. I hope you can find peace. I hope the world can soon see us as real humans too.

[@mrsbenz1020]

Thanks for sharing this topic. Opened my eyes for sure. I feel like being of service to the community now.

[@wurstbrat.]

It's sad to see many comments mourning us with Autism. Some need more help than others, but we don't need pity. Please treat us like humans, not mistakes.

[@roundsdm]

I have poor health & 2 autistic children that have no one but me,… i stay scared about whatll happen when i go every second of everyday… & even know while im alive, my disabilities make it so hard to give them everything they need & deserve…

[@maoooshiii768]

I hope someone can takecare of his son :( Why do good people have to die early :(

[@jaclee3594]

My heart breaks for her. Pray that God will heal her and give her more time on earth to take care of her children.

[@lisaellis2593]

Where is her family? or her husband's people? she should see if her church can help her,this should not be happening in this day and time, Korea, needs to take care of those less fortunate😢.

[@luxquatert.g2901]

It breaks my heart to see this...😢 ohhh im bawling my eyes..

[@squeegie]

When I find out about these situations... I can't help myself but to think if God does exist in this cruel world. There are people trying to live for another day, but everything seems to want to stop them. Why did God even put us in this world? Just for them and their loved ones to worry and suffer? I don't have any disabled children, but even I think about what would happen to my children when I pass away... I can't even begin to understand the worries of some of these parents. It seems too cruel to say, but when someone like this passes away... I would assume the care takers would feel a sense of relief from the burden... It's just too depressing to think about. Very sad.

[@promisewilliams342]

I understand that it may seem so But God plan for us us not to suffer,with God, there is a solution to life challenges and peace in them Remember that there is Satan the devourer going about doing all sort to human, and this is life in general,but God plan towards us are of good and not of evil to give us an expected end

[@Clover_9777]

yeah that's what also think but again, life is suffering. There are many kinds of sufferings

[@nobodyknows8521]

Well actually I think that because many people are selfish and won't believe on God and so do not follow his commands then situacions like this exist. Just think how many problems won't exist if we all follow God's commands?? Everyone will care about each other's suffering, and things like this won't happen.

[@baeji232]

​@@nobodyknows8521humans did write the bible...which commands from god are you talking about?

[@alibault2722]

Thank you for making this documentary, I pray for a better future.

[@jceez4481]

Life can be so f@&* up sometimes.. I pray for these families…

[@ceputehching-ching1503]

The mother is a selfless person never to think about herself only her children..😢

[@fernemcallister6774]

It seems mothers of disabled adults can never die. The fear of leaving their child without someone to care for the child humanely, kindly is constant. True in the USA

[@KaSockie]

Its heartbreaking.

[@leaisoufeauyoutube]

Sending love to all the wonderful parents looking after children with disabilities, physical and intellectual. My brother is autistic and I am taking over when my parents are gone. Because I love my parents, and I love my brother. It wont be easy, but I know God will guide, protect and strengthen us through every trial. Love you all from NZ 🙏🙏💞💞

[@Ace-kd7cz]

I am south korean and I'd describe my country as varnished fruits, looks nice on the outside due to varnish, but inside is slowly rotting away.

[@Suho0_0]

ㅇㅈ

[@user-hf6ro9cq8n]

This is so heartbreaking 💔😢😭

[@jamyw]

This is so heartbreaking😢

[@fledglingcrafter]

It's hard to take care of people with this type of disability especially when the pay is little. It's too difficult for potential support for these people. You feel sorry but you also feel bad

[@Laura-cw5ek]

Great documentary but also extremely sad. I would like to hear more about this topic. Why does Korean society and the government not take care of disabled people? What is the root cause of this situation?

[@haniida1827]

Stay strong ya .. 😢😢😢 pray u will recover

[@kityhwang2034]

Heartbreaking😢 but please be strong always.

[@Kimmy234L]

South Korea needs to stop their Hierarchy Cruel & Stigmatisation. How adults and children with disabilities are treated is barbaric. That poor woman's only worry in her last days on the planet, is fir the safety of her child. That is so tragic.

[@amydon7431]

I feel for her so much ,i know its nt easy but she is so strong i dont think i will be to handle it if i was her , fighting ma

[@elainengakoti6556]

I pray that there is support for them to be safe and help her out

[@xoxo.mai.9]

Damn I literally cried!😭

[@user-pw4mz5qe2h]

So Sad, May God bless you both and make your dreams come true 👍 ✨ 🙏 💖 ❤ 💕

[@happy_face9852]

the first mom and son reminded me of my grandma that died due to cancer i was in tears the whole time

[@BlueBenz2005]

My heart aches 😢

[@shen253]

kim mi ha’s son is really sweet.. Ihope she gets better

[@rv3590]

😢 unconditional love ❤❤

[@sialao849]

It’s really sad… mothers worry about their kids the most.. even on our death bed… in the process of dying.. we would ask Allah about our children. We cannot escape death when it’s time for us to leave. Just have to put our trust in the one who created us and them that he will take care of them.

[@user-kw9rx1nx3v]

God this is heartbreaking 🥺🥺💔

[@zears7503]

Fuck. Never cried like this before.

[@linalukitasari3661]

You are great mom and women. I love you mother. Do not worry to them, there are a lot good person

[@ricecakke]

"After like" was playing at the grocery store. Thus must be recorded pretty recent 😢

[@izuma76]

I wipe my tears when i see this video❤❤❤

[@andy3949]

This is my biggest fear in life. My little boy. Scares me so much.

[@jen-tech_challenged]

It’s not that different in the the States….most don’t get the help they need. When there are two people, SSI is ….

[@aliciaforgie]

I wish I was nearby to help collect that man son since he can't manage the stairs, wouldn't have been a problem since I work from home but such is life. Hope something will be put in place that all these parents can benefit from, i could tell from their tone of voice that they are tired.

[@maryammaple]

Personally cant imagine the amount of pain these families are enduring. Really adore thier resistance and sacrification for their children

[@franzitaduz]

As with unwed single mothers being denied employment as pariahs, all the financial and political success can’t move the cultural mind at the same speed. But God will provide.

[@thebatt6183]

this is so different to how i was raised, my mum never said "who's gonna look after you she said your a warrior you'll be strong and you'll do anything you want " i have enourmous empathy for this lady and its not her fault all over asia the perception of the disabled is so innaccurate its incredible purely because they don't know what they can do theyv'e never seen it. seeing as how care workers get 70 % of the national average its no surprise theres not many

[@Beswift1989]

I can do more to help Others, we all can. So much hurt in the world, so much help needed.

[@hannah5245]

There has to be more to be done in terms of providing more of these support centers with govt funding of course, to include education classes that teach these developmentally challenged , autistic children to learn a skill , like craftwork, drawing, even doing light menial tasks like washing clothes, mock ups of situations where they learn how to ask for directions or even teach them how to handle money. But these have to be graded exercises, customised to each person's developmental needs. Perhaps learning to do at least a few of daily life activities, changing clothes, wearing socks/shoes, combing hair, etc. So much more can be done by providing short term home services which the govt must fund to help families with financial means.

[@kehidupankanada]

😢❤

[@smileyhope4901]

😢😢

[@classickdramaclips]

‘God has a sick sense of humor…’ - Martin gore…depeche mode

[@eight7934]

so sad

[@MiRae67]

Locking him up in the house is not good. He should have someone to walk wt him. Sit in a park etc. Really sad these elderly parents have no one to help. Heart breaking😭😭💝💝💝💝🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@equiaux_music]

That's a huge burden for the family

[@Mack-rn6sk]

😭

[@haruka7817]

i have nothing to say other wish them all the best also this might be one of many reasons why Korea birth rate low, other than high living cost and centralized development in Seoul

[@Nikkifrom1989]

My girls father died of brain cancer in January and that’s all he cared about is who will take care of his kids. He cried to everyone about it. He visits my girls in the morning when they wake and in their dreams, they tell me. I never put that idea into their heads. They are only 4 and 6.

[@janewen7131]

I have a disablity and I know people with disablity that lives by themselves

[@Suho0_0]

Good for you. This isn’t the case here.

[@mariecabaneshucamis]

sad i think if they are mature and parent are old i hope theres govt institution to take care of them

[@gpablico1006]

I feel all those parents should start a support group among themselves, many of them are aging and have health issues. There is no quick fixes but there are compassionate people in this world, you just need to reach out. 😔🙏✝️🙏

[@SamSam-qm1li]

Any update

[@vikkidelamerced3682]

Occupational therapy while they were young? This was not mentioned in all cases. Is there occupational therapy in Korea?

[@Suho0_0]

There is but many parents deny there being falts with their child for whatever reason. Either that or clinics/therapies are too expensive, not reasonably accessible or inappropriately funded. One of my uncles has autism since birth, he’s not able to do much without assistance of some kind, they did occupational therapies from age 6-22, but it didn’t work bc you can’t really rewire autism. He did learn some basics in how to live in wider society, but the thing is society threw him out, he couldn’t get a job even tho he was capable of the ones he applied for. He did his to cater to wider society, to the point he was frequently sick from stress, but all he got was crap, he was gaslight that his issues were non existent and that he was lazy, he was thrown around. There is support for the disabled, but it’s not supported by society, disabilities are condemned.

[@dei-zangahwendyedem5617]

I keep asking my Dr. If am going to die anyway what is the reason for the chemotherapy I have had 21 cycles of chemo therapy sections nd my pain hasn't changed in anyway. living with Ewing sarcoma for almost 20 years now there hasn't been meaning to my life ever I really wish to die soon so the pain can stop I can't sleep or eat I can't walk properly I can't help myself, so I know this woman's pain am 35 just that I don't have a child but I still worry about my family I thought I should live long enough so I could be the One to burie my parents but it going to be the other way run such a sad world but I will keep praising God until my last breath

[@edwinhsugiono]

Anyone if she's is still fighting

[@IglooWanderer]

Does anyone know what happened?

[@haniida1827]

But lucky her son not active and wild like some autism people..my niece got autism and just 1 1/2 year but very active and never feel pain 😢

[@satishchilakamarri]

🙏🙏🙏

[@sky-pv7ff]

Wow, i have stage 4 and 3 breast cancer. It spread to back and one side of hip. I think i had 6 chemo treatments and maybe one radiation treatment. I am on my 8th year of chemo medication. Praise God i have improved. I wonder why some people don't make it.

[@Beswift1989]

Can they move to the country with lots of land? The younger couple? 😢

[@firaschew]

Do cancer patients in korea have immunoteraphy treatment?

[@lordwalker71]

I was just thinking that they will start to see parents killing their children and themselves right before they told the story of the father and son in the river.

[@ma.cristinaloupatacsil9429]

💔💔❤️‍🩹💕

[@VirgoHangzhou]

Why isn't the government taking steps and build an institutes to look after special needs childrens/adults, specifically to relief the burden/sick older parents

[@alisonfraser8231]

Why is the father who admits he tried to kill his son not charged with a crime? Being stressed out is not an excuse for murder where I live. Is the young man still in his care? I find this show confusing. I thought they were following one family and now, it’s all of these other people.

[@coratheexplorer1824]

Terrible dusgusting attitude of people and govt toward disable people.we might be moaning of expensive tax here in Uk but we have the best facilities to care for the disable children/ adults we even have special schools we didnt realize how lycky we are here in Uk,when we are watching this docu.awful service of Korean govt where are all the tax anx insurance they paid.

[@user-df1no3nc5j]

If I had the chance I would take care of that person. Watching this it broke my heart🥺

[@H20.]

If is such a big word and words mean nothing without actions. Do you take care of disabled adults in your own community???

[@haticesert1805]

Kadının 2 çocuğu da hasta ve bu hastalığa yakalanmasından ne kadar çok zorluk cektiği de anlaşılıyor.. oğlunun annesini çok sevdiği her davranışından ve konuşmasından belli, şapkasını zorla çıkarıp başını öpmek istediği yerde mahvoldum.. böyle insanları gördükçe bir yaratıcının varlığına inanamıyorum, eğer varsa bile duygulara sahip değil. Kadının hayatı zaten çok zor, çocukların hayatı çok zor üzerine birde ölümcül bir hastalık ve çocuklara bakacak kimse yok anne hasta haliyle bakmaya devam ediyor ve öleceği ana kadar çocuklar için endişelenmeye devam edecek.. buna izin vermek gerçekten saf kötülük. Video ne zamandan, kadın hâlâ yaşıyor mu bilmiyorum ama umarım bir mucize gerçekleşmiştir. Zaten inanılmaz kötü her şey, istenilen acı çekmesiyse aile zaten acı çekiyor ama en azından anne yaşayabilir eğer bir yaratıcı varsa buna izin vermek onun için zor olmamalı. Şuan moralim bozuk değil, üzgün bile değilim hiçbir şey hissetmiyorum.. insanların hayatlarının gerçekten bir anlamı ya da değeri yok. Sadece anlamıyorum, aklım bunu anlayabilecek düzeyde değildir belki.

[@yamrajji2569]

😶

[@azamarabear]

How can I contact this lady

[@JaydithAz]

how does a country like Korea not have these resources? Where are the social workers and caregivers? The disabled needed occupational therapy as children to learn how to feed themselves at least.

[@truebluedreams]

Because society doesn't want disabled people, and surely does not want to have to acknowledge them by helping them. It's a sad part of Korean society/culture. Most see disabled people as sad, burdensome, and pathetic. They want nothing to do with them and don't think disabled people should be allowed to exist within society, as they are an embarrassment. It's a sad reality.

[@ECINADGIRL]

Korea is failing its people. Government needs to take care of this. Have homes with 24/7 care. Most countries have this. Im thinking where are the social workers. This put tears in my eyes to see how desperate these people are for just a little bit of help

[@LucielStarz123]

Very FEW countries have what you described, what lalaland do you live in?

[@Sanismom]

This is sad I ho❤❤❤❤

[@jesseeec]

So heartbreaking. Korean govt, do better! Shame on you. Disgusting

[@Virtuouswoman78]

Believe me I have empathy for the mother i do BUT THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T BRING CHILDREN INTO THIS COLD GRIMY UNCARING WORLD FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN !!! ESPECIALLY DISABLED CHILDREN 😔😔. NOBODY WILL CARE FOR THEM