6 Must Know Facts About Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

[@Katimorton]

Remove your personal information from the web at joindeleteme.com/KATI and use code KATI for 20% off US consumer plans. DeleteMe International plans: international.joindeleteme.com/

[@banthatracks_gaffisticks]

Which medications are those with BPD usually prescribed?

[@фууууу-в4б]

I go through all of them

[@LjiljanaDdd]

This is boring to me.Highsensiviti persons,biological reson,what we should do?Withaut them there is no humaniti.

[@Paul_doherty-t6h]

I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with BPD. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

[@MorrisBasar-jm9lc]

Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them

[@DonnDenisse]

YES very sure of Mr.medmushies

[@Owemruther-hk4zn]

How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

[@MarcWilliams-dz7ik]

Yes he's Mr.medmushies. My daughter did straight shrooms in few days. Made her whole! after words, no more addictions, pains, ptsd and depression. It helped us.

[@JacksonSmith-wc8oo]

Thanks for sharing this great information, this would help my son.

[@ADogNamedBoo]

Thank you! Dx’d in 1987 (yup) with BPD. Mainly what is now called Quiet BPD, with overlaps. I stopped dating decades ago (I’m 71) because it just hurt too much. I’m sure my clingy neediness and mood swings drove them away. I just started EMDR in October and DBT group in January, and I feel like a new person. I’m coming off (very slowly, with medical,supervision) some of my antidepressants, which I’ve been on for 50 (yup) years. It’s never too late, please keep trying, everyone. Life is actually good for me for the first time. Your videos always help me, and I do hope you’re feeling better as well. ❤

[@wolfferoni]

What a hope-filled message. Thank you for sharing.

[@ADogNamedBoo]

@@wolfferoni You’re welcome, that’s exactly why I posted it. Good luck on your journey.

[@lanoosaurusrex]

I quit dating 6 years ago for the same reasons - thank you for the encouragement, and I’m so glad you’re finally feeling better. I hope one day I’ll feel better too.

[@Jupiterguurl]

What antidepressants are you taking? If you don’t mind sharing.

[@ADogNamedBoo]

@@Jupiterguurl I don't mind. I'm on desvenlafaxine (Pristiq), Welbutrin. And then Trazodone at bedtime.

[@leslier302]

The example of 6 is so real. I try never to share those thoughts with anyone because I know it's not rational and they would never understand. Its forever, it's not you, its me.

[@patriciasustersic7265]

Hey, I needed to stop here just to say that sharing these types of thoughts with people I trusted (people that continually showed they cared, not necessarily my ‘favourite’ people) has helped me make immense progress! It helps people understand your behaviour and if they can communicate back in the same way, that can help you gain perspective and learn about other possible scenarios why someone might not e.g. text back ‘soon enough’. Ik there could also be a plethora of reasons why what I wrote could be pointless to you … either way, sending you a hug 🤍

[@localppcartist]

Me too...I behave the same way. Behaved...when as a kid. Now, I keep people at a surface level now, I do not ask for help, or ask anything from anyone. And my relationship, intimate is with my dog...my dog won't leave me, won't lie to me, won't tell me things that are not real amd always by my side. And when I have lashed out at people, it further distances me from people, and I accept the loss of friends as an expense I pay- so I have to consider the cost before I do- and this- like the person who has money burning a hole in thier pocket, holding back my thoughts tongue for a person who I feel is not nice, burns a hole in my pocket, the cost is I lose 4 friends over that one...I have given up. When I shared how I felt- for the first time with a girl friend- she left. This hurts my ❤. I deleted most all my contact list on my phone down to just the bills.

[@j.m.p8051]

It was so spot on that it confirmed my self-diagnosis. I have spiraled hundreds of times, not able to self-regulate for hours. It's scary

[@j.m.p8051]

​@@localppcartistmy heart hurts, I get it.

[@thesaddestpikachu]

I felt the same. I'm like damn I feel called out

[@seaofflowers.]

Wow. Whole video has me sobbing and the 6th one was specifically corrected down to a T. The shame is so intense.. I can and often feel like I'm drowning in my own embarrassment of myself. Thank you for making this video. It's brief but so accurate and meaningful.

[@j.m.p8051]

Same! It took me at least 30 mins to stop crying (self regulate)

[@trinaq]

The first time I heard about BPD was through "Crazy Ex Girlfriend", when Rebecca gets diagnosed with the condition, which helps her deal with her self destructive behaviour and actions. Thanks for clarifying it more, Kati.

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! So glad I could help :) xoxo

[@ladybaabaa3294]

One other movie that depicts someone with both Complex PTSD and BPD is "Gia". Angelina Jolie stars in it. It's really good, though a bit hard to watch at times.

[@wolfferoni]

@@ladybaabaa3294 Ooh, thank you for sharing that. I recently watched 'Girl, Interrupted' with Angelina Jolie and looked at her acting roles because she was great. Saw 'Gia' but wasn't sure if it was something I'd be interested in. Will add that to the list. 'Girl, Interrupted' also features a main character with BPD (played by Winona Ryder) but the BPD wasn't focused on all that much in my opinion.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

@@wolfferoni Yeah, definitely. The BPD in Winona's character was quite subtle. The behaviour in the Gia character is more prominent.

[@stacib1992]

I'm a quiet bpd mainly but I have impulsive behavior, I'm self destructive and also fast moving emotions but i don't turn them at anyone. Just at myself.

[@MissRoseLily]

Same here ❤

[@lyuiskhanter7771]

same here but like can i just be like this and not have bpd like im adhd and i share some traits between the two or is it not normal to direct all emotions in towards myself

[@ItzKryptek64]

@@lyuiskhanter7771very common for BPD to have self directed anger or disgust. I’m diagnosed BPD with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and ADHD and there is a lot of overlap with ADHD and BPD with the impulsivity side, and then the BPD causes the self loathing and loss of who I see myself as which then contributes to the MDD

[@CelesteBinge]

I know I have BPD for about 8 months now. I noticed in the Netherlands people are scared for BPD. Its stigmatized a lot. Its better not to talk about it. People treat you differently when you say you have bpd. But im still a person and that hurts a lot.

[@voyagerone7487]

“I can’t control their fear, only my own!” - Scarlett Witch

[@DisturbedYoyo]

That's sad 😢 I hope you find someone you can talk to about this stuff 🧡

[@nikkiart5593]

I live in the Netherlands and I've noticed there is a lot of stigma on mental illness / disorders in general. Also gaslighting seems to be a very strong part in the Dutch pragmatic culture, where people think everything can be fixed with simple things like "Just go for a walk, you'll feel better. I always do" leaving you feeling misunderstood and less willing to open up next time. Good luck on your healing journey!

[@CelesteBinge]

@@nikkiart5593 so true!

[@martyvirtue4051]

Stop bashing the Netherlands.

[@alisonjimagery8974]

I was hospitalised and diagnosed with Bpd at 19. Im now 39 and was disgnosed with autism last year. I just wonder had i had a diagnosis as a child i wouldnt have gone through all that trauma, and had the support i always needed. I feel i was really let down, by alot of people.

[@Nuculer9001]

I had a similar experience. People were mean in the 80s and 90s and everyone was on their own. One time, someone said to me, "no one wants to be the parent of the kid with a problem."

[@MadAboutBrows]

​@@Nuculer9001 yeah but sometimes the parent is the real problem! My mother was abusive, and I barely made it through school despite being intelligent. I was in a constant state of fight or flight, and then bullied quite a bit at school.... I'm still not sure if it's AuDHD, PTSD or BPD, but it's impossible to feel safe in this world and I just wanna fix it. Me. Whatever.

[@MegaLabarr]

Hi Kati , I have been wondering about something lately. Is there a connection between BPD and Gender Dysphoria? I’ve a few things here and there. Thanks

[@teaganpesce3642]

I actually had the opposite experience. Got diagbosied with asd at 6 and I was constantly infatasised, treated like id never amount to anything, taken out of class at school, told how im "special " and will always need help from others and never ever will be independent. I was also constantly bullied by my siblings, school kids and my family all treated me like I was this stupid kid who would never get anywhere in life. Autisim became my identity and I thought thats all I was worth, a dumb kid who would always need someone to do everything for them. Not an actual human being with thoughts and feelings. I don't have a sense of self now. I was constantly told from when I started developing bpd that it was just autisim/ADHD and never got treated for it and tbh if my symptoms of bpd were identified, my bpd probably wouldn't of been nearly as bad:( With that being sad, not knowing you have asd and not being diagnoised is also very tramuatic

[@biggyjuic3515]

@@teaganpesce3642I work in special ed and I can totally relate to what you said. That is a huge failure on the part of many educators. Just because someone has asd doesnt mean they are incapable of learning and having a positive life!

[@rachelthomas8013]

I feel all of these symptoms and I have cptsd so please be careful self-diagnosing. A lot more goes into diagnosing

[@rosecoon1791]

My mother was diagnosed with BPD. She was super abusive and scapegoated me. I can’t imagine her ever being vulnerable enough to admit she needs help. Instead, she became a therapist. She seems to enjoy having people put her on a pedestal. Sometime in my 40s I decided there was nothing I could do to stop the abuse aside from going no contact. The first couple of times I ended up talking to her again after a few months or a couple of years. But this time I have not spoken to her for 11 years and I hope I never see her again. I am slowly learning how to stop my compulsion to please people. Not everything is my fault or my responsibility. I have a great therapist, so I am really thankful for that because they can be hard to find. Thank you for your videos, I love your content. ❤

[@BeaNeedsADrink]

I’m so proud of you! You didn’t let that tear you down💕. Happy you have a great therapist now too I have BPD. I am FIGHTING to better myself bc I want my baby to have a good mom. ❤

[@rosecoon1791]

@@BeaNeedsADrink I think that one BPD is really problematic is when people refuse to see their part in anything or be willing to admit that they might have a problem. That’s what I was dealing with. I think you’re doing better than my mother already, because you are aware of it and you’re interested in improving yourself and your life. 🙂

[@msdemeanour]

Good on you. I cut my BPD abusive mother out in 2015. We spoke again recently & guess what? She's as nasty, bitter & toxic as ever. They never change! I'm never speaking to her again. Life's too short. Stay strong 💟

[@Earthether]

Sounds narcissistic

[@nitareckonkeys]

​@@Earthether, the symptoms overlap at times, as is such with Cluster-Bs. In my experience with PwBPD of various ages of exposing & length of "doing the hard work" of reprogramming their inner-child, the older & longer without appropriate therapy & homework, the more narcissistic defense mechanism.

[@Katimorton]

Also, here are the 10 signs of quiet BPD (& more BPD videos): kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqbMqWt-fd-Dl8k

[@stephenwestmoreland7268]

She said FUCK IT. One of the reasons I love this channel. Real...

[@joeshmoe12301230]

That’s a borderline for you. They easily make you believe they’re genuine when they’re everything except genuine

[@Mtz2604]

Thank you Kati, the stigma is so strong that it even professionals treats us with tweezers. I hate when that happens, but I've learned to advocate for myself.

[@foxyb0nes]

The one thing that annoys me slightly is, it always seems like people are insinuating that you can only be 1/4 or 2/4 of the BPD subcategories- which I strongly disagree with, because I have always been a mix of the 4 my whole life, I have all 9 criteria within the DSM-5. It just depends on what cycle I’m on throughout the day, and I would like more videos specifically on those that are like a Jack-Of-All-Trades when it comes to having all 4 subcategories on a loop throughout the day, with all 9 criteria activated that you’re unable to escape from.

[@slvttycynn]

Preach

[@MyFisher2010]

agree im a mixture of all 4 at different times

[@phoenixrisin2269]

This comes from the U.S. DMSV. The ICD XI is used worldwide and doesn’t differentiate

[@foxyb0nes]

@@phoenixrisin2269 Elaborate what you mean by this?

[@Talk2JenniferToday]

Same

[@kylapollard9275]

I was diagnosed with BPD 2yrs ago. I felt so heard and also called out with this video, thanks Kati. I don’t want people to know my thought process cause the shame is so great. For me, to lessen the chances of people leaving me I had decided to not have friends and if I do it’s only superficial. I do find friendships to be incredibly overwhelming and suspect I may have autism as well (lots of other reasons as well). Thank you, Kati, for speaking on BPD in such a way to lessen the stigma. ❤

[@helenhuang194]

This video just made me cry couple times because I felt being heard and seen…

[@s.traversi3618]

Same here..

[@Alleycat50]

I was in a relationship with someone with severe BPD. It was Hell. I’d get thrown out of his house at 9 pm for just looking at him the wrong way. He was so irrational and impulsive. He was paranoid and so insecure thinking everyone hated him. He goes through relationships quickly. It’s a shame as he was a lot of fun and has potential. He wouldn’t go to counseling and probably never will.

[@weirdlittlesister]

Was he also my ex? Everything you wrote up until the being thrown out part was true for him, too. And the worst thing, he also dragged me down and made me go through very deep circles of mental anguish. I also have tendencies of bpd and his influence on me prove to be detrimental

[@cup_o_TMarie]

Yep same🫣

[@Fleckyou911]

It cracks me up when people with bpd or other cluster bs claim they have 'too much empathy'.LOL no empathetic person would treat a loved one so nicely then do a 180 and be so cruel, and do this regularly (unlike mood disorders episodes). It'd be fine if people with bpd, hpd, npd all dated within the cluster because they'd all understand one another and how awful it feels. But no, they need supply yet expect people to tolerate their cruel actions.

[@weirdlittlesister]

@@Fleckyou911 I tell you what. I was never diagnosed but I strongly suspect that I have bpt or at least pretty severe abandonment issues. I do not date. anybody, at all. Because I know it would be hell not only for me but for them too and most people don't deserve to be dragged into something like this. On the empathy part I think they confuse being empathetic toward another person with being overly anxious over what these others think or feel about THEM. And then use this as an excuse to their unhinged behaviour. So it's all about them after all

[@ssing7113]

And if that’s the true story. You have extreme codependency and childhood wounding you need help for. Screw talking about him. Why not shine the spotlight on yourself as you ain’t going to have a healthy relationship with attracting that

[@simoneh8737]

13:53 This hit so close to home I started bawling my eyes out, quiet BPD definitely sounds like me. Thank you for the content, Kati!

[@fatemehaghaei1954]

Marsha Linehan is a hero for people suffering BPD ❤

[@Claire-mv1tf]

Is she or is her DBT a way of brainwashing Traumatised people. I found her very dangerous. Each to their own .

[@jadecampbell1967]

Thank you! As someone who was recently diagnosed and still unsure. The thought process really confirmed it for me.

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! So glad I could help :) xoxo I have tons of other BPD videos too if you think they could help :) xoxo

[@MistyMendenhall]

I’ve been watching Kati for years. She’s helped so much through many of my seasons. I just found out I have Bpd and other co occurring things.. for the years I’ve watched her, I knew things.. but didn’t know until recently. I just know she has helped me to find self acceptance through many of my challenges and not so alone. Thank you Kati!

[@ewuf]

your example in 6 was so spot on, audible expressions of awe. like how are you in my head.

[@angeladay2196]

Well what you have describing with the four different types a BPD, is the majority of people interacted with within my family and community. I grew out of it because I learned how to control myself and worked on understanding why I felt this way. Only a couple of my family members did the same thing. Most of the others stayed trapped in these behaviors. Your explanation really helped he realized that I was not being over dramatic seen this in my family and community. That these are real behaviors and are not normal.

[@Ow_Kay]

Can you make a video about having a ‘favorite person’ as someone with BPD?

[@JustaLittleMystic]

I am fairly certain that my former friend had BPD. The sad part about this disorder is they sabotage so badly that maintaining friendships is really hard. The damage got to be so bad that I had to put in some pretty airtight boundaries with her. That resulted in her feeling so rejected that she just kicked us out of her life. It’s one of the more devastating things, to be on the receiving end of that type of response. But I feel even worse for her that she has lost so many good people as a result of being unwilling to address that issue in her life. I hope everybody with BPD is able to find a really good support network and system and get access to therapy that will help them recover and heal. All of you whom live and struggle with this, deserve so much joy and happiness and I’m praying that you find all the tools and resources you need to access the most beautiful parts of yourself and not have to fight so hard to let that out. Please don’t give up. Please keep going ❤❤❤

[@ballooneyjr4294]

How are you going to say that you want people with BPD to find a good support system while simultaneous ripping that away from your “friend”. So hypocritical.

[@frankiefranfraser]

Bless you! ❤

[@dylanjeffreys1011]

@@ballooneyjr4294 There's a difference between being somebodies support and somebodies punching bag.

[@isabella9654]

I really love how respectfully blunt you put how we feel as patients with BPD while still validating our problems. We still must take responsibility for our actions but you validate the pain that unfortunately, generally leads to these actions. As someone with BPD, it's an artform.

[@lawrentw]

Ive been diagnosed since 2019 and watching this video omg. I felt like you were talking directly to me and about me. Not even in a negative way. Very informative. Much appreciated.

[@Elizabethpepper8]

It makes sense to think of personality disorders as adaptions from CPTSD. Taking into consideration their experiences, environments, relationships, and natural temperaments. I wish there were more studies done on siblings and personality disorders highlighting each parental relationship. One having BPD while the other has NPD, for example.

[@alyxtora4534]

My best friend has recently been diagnosed, and the last bit of the video really made it click why she'd ask me if I hate her or if I'm mad at her if we go without texting for like a week. The answer is always no, I just haven't had anything interesting to say. So now I try to be more mindful of that, for her sake

[@homesweetesthome1726]

You're a good friend ❤

[@freyamoon7032]

Kati i was crying throughout the entire video because everything you said is so true and so accurate thank you for making this video. wished my family had watched it....

[@mayday24176]

Thank you. This is the man I’ve been w for 3 years. Roller coaster. I didn’t call him back while I was out of town one night. This was 7 weeks ago. He’s still acting stand of fish. Not rejecting me. But aloof. Like he’s mad at me. But won’t tell me.

[@t-man5196]

Kati I really appreciate you making this video to help spread awareness of bpd, it took a lot of courage to talk about your struggles and vulnerabilities openly on here. Thanks for sharing your experiences

[@lorihunt9728]

This is overall one of the spot on best videos that I have seen on BPD. Factual, informative and compassionate. Thank you so very much. This literally saved my life this morning ❤

[@JeanettePeAceLoVe]

I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder and ocd and ADHD and agoraphobia and I have had a hell of a time first trying to find any way to feel comfortable inside of my own mind and body and feel like i have a right to be alive and living in life at all in the first place and find ways to talk myself out of believing that I don't have any purpose and that nobody else cares about me unless I am to blame for something and finding the right words to make myself not feel so worthless or feel like i am what is all wrong about the world so that I don't impulsive go off by myself alone somewhere and hurt myself and I have been literally my own mother and best friend and everything that I need to be to just continue to let myself live and I am really not even joking around Everyone in my whole entire life has always made it clear that I am the only one who has a problem and I am the only one who needs to get help and if😢 I myself do not isolate myself its the harsh reality that everyone else that I have ever dealt with in my life constantly considers my the soul route of the problem and I don't have anybody who listens to me because I have trouble regulating my emotions and articulate my thoughts into words without cussing a lot or feeling that I am being attacked by everyone and having to defend myself from threats. I am not going to begin to try to explain the situation i am going through now with dealing with this guy that I thought that i had feelings for until he is autistic and he is gang stalking me and uses all of my mistakes and flaws against me to make triggers to make me react and I am not feeling that I am in any way safe and secure in my life because especially because of this one specific person who is using my mental health issues against me

[@JohnArant]

Thank you Kati. Found you last week. Starting therapy next week. Really appreciate you.

[@LumpyMoose]

My gf has eupd and complex ptsd amongst a few other things. I love her with all my heart! Question is, would she appreciate me sending her this video? I think what you do and how you explain things makes you one of the best therapists on earth.

[@SadhanaMahajan-jm2nf]

I was unaware of BPD. Thanks for the information. I know it now. Everybody should know it so that people behavior can be more generous.

[@CatchE6e]

I have never been more convinced that I have BPD than when listening to the thought process example 🤣

[@WhileAKyle85]

Same. I was like.... Ohhhhhh ohhh... There it is.... 😆

[@DadouC2]

Hey Kati, First and foremost, thank you once again for taking the time to help us better understand a mental health topic. Your videos have helped me (and I am sure, so many others as well!) hold on to hope, which means the world. I am very shy to reach out here, but maybe someone else could be in a similar situation and feel seen. After 3+ yrs seeing her, I have just been diagnosed (during an appointment, last week) by my psychiatrist with a Personality Disorder. She didn't mention BPD specifically, but the way she interacted with me, and also how my therapist (to whom she interacted) talks to me or brings up certain things during our weekly sessions make me believe that BPD is actually what they both have in mind. Since my appointment, I feel terrible. I don't understand how my psychiatrist could tell me that hard truth saying that she wanted to bring me some hope by doing it. Not to mention the shame I feel considering I might have BPD, I feel like a fraud - I don't recognize myself a lot in the different characteristics of this disorder. This brings me to ask you this: Can someone have BPD even if: A. They don't experience those intense "mood swings"? (I can't remember the last time I felt "good". If my mood changes, it only goes from bad to very bad...) B. Have not even had something traumatic in the past, and have grown up in a loving family? C. Don't feel any anger? (except towards myself, I never experience this emotion) Thank you once again. I hope you can keep for yourself at least a little of all the light you are spreading around you. You deserve it, too. Take care xx (P.S. I am sorry for my bad English writing. I am not quite great at expressing myself, especially in this second language of mine. I tried my best.)

[@saltiestsiren]

I was diagnosed with BPD last year, years after I started having symptoms, despite being in the mental healthcare system all that time. At first I didn't believe my nurse practitioner because all I knew about BPD was mostly stereotypes. Then I learned about quiet BPD and that fit like a glove.

[@BridgetHenderson-tn2iy]

These BPD behaviors like spending money, driving fast, making impulsive decisions, binge eating food...Those are some of my favorite things.

[@Michaelstahler]

Hi Kati, thank you so much for your channel and content! I’m about to enter graduate school for marriage and family therapy, and really appreciate you spreading knowledge about mental health through insightful and compassionate means. I wanted to specifically point out something I have noticed and appreciate about your delivery in videos: when describing an ailment, you use words like “we, our, us,” etc. which really struck me as a beautiful way to help the viewer not feel so alone in their pain. It’s so subtle, but really adds so much comfort to a person’s painful experiences. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and inspiring so many!

[@fussy_velociraptor]

heaven forbid anyone have compassion for the borderline... thank you for your compassion, you are brave and I appreciate your video

[@justboredwithlife]

I feel like my symptoms overlap with all types in some way. Being diagnosed with borderline was made worse by seeing see how others view it, only because they've met one person with it they think everyone is the same. I've never felt so understood when being diagnosed with BPD though because I've been looking for something that describes my struggle for years

[@gabriellef3351]

My counselor loves to work with bpd folks. i don't have it but it came up once. People are so misinformed about bpd. I hope it gets better

[@walibou287]

BPD, BiPD, ADHD, Depression, Narcissism, PTSD; all these conditions and disorders overlap a lot, how could psychologists and mental health professionals tell them apart?

[@zillizzy]

Yes!!! This!!

[@kingsix2000]

They can't, which is why prominent researchers want to have the diagnosis "personally disorder with emphasis..." BPD would likely be described by " personality disorder with emphasis Emotional disregulation".

[@mst-pierrem5729]

​@@kingsix2000 That is actually untrue. A simple case of ADHD is no were near BPD.. Imagine the case most people would then be BPD ? It doesn't make sense. Sure there common traits but even at the bachelor level we learn to disguish all of them. Mind you it isn't easy but once you get yhe jist you can see it more and more easily.

[@kingsix2000]

@@mst-pierrem5729 correct. But ADHD would not be part of personality disorders either.

[@vesnaGHoward]

Yes, BPD is a personality dissorder, others are not. I do have all of that as dissorders and traits haha.

[@dianamijde5543]

i feel so called out with #6

[@whatsthestorymorningglory96]

I’ve self-diagnosed so many times as my therapist refuses to give me a diagnoses whatsoever. So I have it all.

[@TheGritherr]

it can't be easy. I've got the quiet type but have been fortunate enough to work with it enough to find satisfaction with my slice of reality. of course I'm really good at being alone but who said everyone must be normal, what a boring world it would be if it were so. my heart goes out to those who struggle under its weight, it's a lot to work through.

[@eshad.9423]

Thank you for all the BPD videos that you make. I have BPD, among other mental conditions. I have quit therapy many times, and I am on pause from therapy. I thought that I could manage my symptoms on my own, but it's becoming more difficult as the days go by.

[@brandinator1996]

I really appreciate all of the time you spend creating content about BPD. If you don't mind me asking, I'm curious what fascinates you about this topic so much and why you're able to speak so empathetically about it when stigmatization is so normalized?

[@stephb3791]

This video was so helpful, thank you! I was diagnosed very late. I am in my late 50s and not one of my therapists over the last 10+ years picked up on it, if they did, they didn't mention it. I actually diagnosed myself. I was looking up bpd to see what it was and was so dismayed to discover that save for one symptom, I had them all. When I brought that up to my current therapist and she went over symptoms with me.....ding ding ding! Thanks to this video, I now know the different types of BPD and see which one aligns most with my experience. Knowledge is power, right? I am now in DBT, round 2, and will speak to my therapist about Schema therapy which I had also never heard of but seems like it would be of benefit. Again, thank you

[@CB-iu6wh]

I cant believe how accurate this is. It blew me away

[@markspooner2027]

You get it, thank you. As someone with BPD, it's exhausting to myself and my wife. It's tough to get through sometimes.

[@bug7679]

The example is so spot on for me.

[@XOChristianaNicole]

HOLY CHICKEN MOLY. #6 is SO spot on. This is the exact cycle, I experience. I’ve definitely been practicing, to do better. However, also, I have become quite perceptive and on high-alert, for those who are avoidants - and deciphering their behavior, from my own.

[@stormcorrosion176]

Sup baby 😂

[@keikialanifrazee8892]

Thank You 🙏🏼 😭…. I’ve had so much traumas in my past that it effects my current issues with Thé people I love so much! Abandonment & Rejection issues…. It’s a very debilitating problem to have…. I’ve lost so many loved ones cuz of it. It hurts me that I hurt others so very much? And no matter what? They don’t believe me that I have bpd. It gets mistaken for Narcissism often to…. & my Mother has it ten times worse….i grew up in it 😔 I miss the people I pushed away cuz of bpd & depression; add being Trans to, to it…. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@Ccostly]

When diagnosed back in the 90s no one had heard or talked about it. I am thankful there is more information available today.

[@thomasconnors4338]

Really good description of the internal experience of borderline. Here’s an anecdote from my own experience- a coworker overheard dealing with a phone call where I very seriously needed help from someone who I’ve always been able to count on- but they blew me off- no reason, no sorry not this time- they totally unexpectedly didn’t give a damn- and I absolutely declared war on that person, to the point that they gave me what I needed, and I immediately felt horrible at the realization that I had just bullied a loyal friend and colleague into compliance just because I didn’t like THE WAY they said no, more so than because I couldn’t have found someone else to help, so I patched things up as best I could and offered them something i knew would at least make the favor very worthwhile to them, though probably still not worth my BS. I hung up the phone and my coworker says “damn, I’ve never seen somebody use the good cop bad cop routine without a partner before”

[@kellyweber627]

Hi Kati 😊 The last example you described is so spot on for me. I have ruined a few friendships because of this. It totally sucks!! But thank God I am seeing a fantastic therapist who is helping me tremendously 😊 Have a great day 🤗💕

[@peytondowns93]

I got diagnosed 3 years ago and that story you told was right on point. Wow!! It’s hard sometimes

[@nobody2655]

I relate most to types 1 and 4. Difficult as it is, and even though I'm not in treatment, I'm grateful for the BPD aspect of my diagnosis.

[@TheOmgkamer]

The manipulative portion is something that hurts me the most because I have nothing but good intentions. I wish I found a friend like me.

[@s.traversi3618]

I felt exactly the same 😢

[@kleyyowo]

I’m diagnosed with adhd and autism, but have felt something was very wrong and that they didn’t fit my struggles. I just now started researching quiet bpd and it explains all the things I’ve struggled and been shamed off for so long I’m going to talk to a new therapist soon and this time I’ll be 100% honest instead of lying about everything, now that Ik it’s prob not cause I’m a horrible person.

[@MissRoseLily]

I can relate very much so. Kind of good to know I'm not alone. Thankyou for your content ❤

[@sassyslsgrl]

The first therapist who diagnosed me with Bpd didn't tell me my diagnosis for a long time specifically to prevent my getting bad outdated information and becoming discouraged... Turns out this was a good call, as the first thing I did in the pre Google days was go to the library and read how hopeless the situation was and how toxic and unmanageable we were and that therapists should avoid treating Bpd patients as it was a waste of time and even toxic to the therapist... I'm glad by the point I read this I had enough trust in my therapist to talk with her about what the diagnosis really meant and what it didn't. I still fight some of the same battles as I did all those years ago but I usually win now, after taking responsibility for my own learning growing and healing and continuing to get help and resources along the way. If I can lead a largely healthy happy life with BPD CPTSD and the remnants of what was once severe and crippling agoraphobia due to prolonged narcissistic abuse, anyone willing to do the work can. Love to all still feeling like a train wreck, I still feel it sometimes, but big picture I can look back and be proud now how far I've come.

[@beat4224]

I don't know you but I'm proud of you too

[@sassyslsgrl]

@@beat4224 aww, ty! Made my day 🤗

[@50toinfinityatleast]

The book that I found way back in the 80s that clued me in to my partner was called “I hate you don’t leave me”. I read that book so many times.

[@thereisnoninadria]

I appreciate your perspective here. I understand a lot about my mom’s upbringing and how it influences her BPD behavior. My issue though, is that me being a girl (she wanted a boy) and having normal needs while I am growing up should not be considered a threat to her. I didn’t ask to be her child. There is more responsibility for her as a parent to get healthy than for me as a child to understand and be accommodating. She should not threaten suicide if she’s not getting her way on whatever arbitrary hill she chooses to die on (ranch dressing as veggie dip or which pants I prefer). Me, my dad, and my siblings (there are 9 of us) should not have to live in constant hypervigilance. I should not be made responsible for my younger siblings at age 9 (aka abandoned) for hours on end while she “goes to the grocery store” several times per week and endure physical/psychological/spiritual abuse on a daily basis. Kudos to all people with BPD who are in therapy and work to improve their mental health and reduce the impact of their impulses and behaviors on others. You’re doing hard and worthwhile work. Keep going! ❤ Please don’t be like my mom.

[@Booster85]

Thanks Kati have BPD, i have found identification with the illness is key to working through, i have impulses to drink but since ive started AVRT its helped alot

[@cindyfoster1351]

My daughter is diagnosed with all 4. Along with Aspergers and bipolar. It's a complex and difficult life.

[@SunflowerFields-xl9uh]

Been diagnosed with bpd 8 years ago, from my point of view...i used to self harm because i wanted to harm someone who was abusing me but i didn't want to be a bad person, so making myself bleed was a way to sooth my need to hurt my abuser and defend myself (tho i was hurting myself, i know It makes no sense at all but it did to me). Also because of my lack of self esteem and even self hate. And sometimes just because i was overwhelmed by life and emotions, i just needed to let It out somehow. Never felt understood by any therapist when i talked about that matter tbh, so i Hope this comment helps someone someday making them feel understood and not alone. I stopped self harm cause i was really self conscious and ashamed of constantly wraping my arms like a mummy cause then It was too obvious.

[@weareone5768]

Thanks for posting! Many of us can fluctuate between traits of all, but identify more with one type than the other.

[@LoneWolfArtist]

I was talking with a lady years ago, who was abusive and controlling. I first saw it in her son who was timid, fearful, skittish. His first real relationship was with an abusive and controlling woman. I tried to explain the cause, but of course the lady said she is not abusive and controlling, she has BPD. "Kid, have you ever told your mother 'No' ?" She instantly glared at him, and he instantly stammered out "No never! She would kill me!!!" The world is a mess, you are not in control, you are not able to stop others from being stupid, ignorant or just different. Learn to protect yourself without stomping on others. Learn to accept the endless flaws inhearant in the human race. Forgive them for being them. Learn to accept who you are when no one is there but you. Learn to walk away from people and accept that most people are as much of a mess as you are. We are all a mess, even the ones who believe they are perfect. So FORGIVENESS becomes the huge factor that remains ignored in modern living that is vital to mental health and is a requirement for any path to happiness

[@PotooBurd]

Boosting for the algorithm 🙌 Love your work, keep it up! 🌻🐝

[@Katimorton]

Aww thank you :) xoxox

[@Zwantceeto]

Aaaand I check all the 4 boxes. I'm the quiet type though, we get addictions, SH and splitting too. CBT and DBT are infantilizing as hell, it always makes it worse. Schema, ART, or FTP are more empathetic and have been much more helpful. Thank you for the video, always happy to see content that help fight the stigma ❤

[@Monipenny1000]

I've got family members who fit the BPD. From my personal experience with them, they are liars, manipulaters, backstabbing, and all around difficult to relate with. After 57 years dealing with them, keeping the peace at my own expense, I am done! I can't with them anymore. The harm and damage they cause......I had to focus on my own mental well-being and eliminating them from my life was necessary for my own healing.

[@mason74551]

I'm sorry you experienced this. Living with people who have no awareness or desire to get better can be so damaging. It seems to be such a cycle, too - one person is abused who abuses another, and then that person abuses a third, and so on. I am glad you got out of there. I wish you continued healing.

[@Monipenny1000]

@@mason74551 thank you. The abuse is horrid, even as an adult living on my own, minding my business, my half-sister, 3 years younger than me, has gotten our father to verbally and emotionally abuse me still with her lies. She fooled her therapists with her lies. She has been going to psychiatrist and psychologists her entire adult life. She is overly medicated and medicated for the wrong things. She claims that she was diagnosed with Bipolor. Ah, that would be a big fat nope! I know what Bipolor looks like. My daughter was diagnosed with that 12 years ago, and she is near perfect on her medication.

[@JeanettePeAceLoVe]

Omg you understand what i have been going through now i know that for a fact that someone else understands that I am constantly in the thoughts process of and insatiable urges that are painful and abusive and at most time hard to make myself control over these urges to physically draw out or physically prove to me that my own mind is actually hurting and I sometimes feel the need to make it perfectly clear physically or i think that i am not really I don't know how to explain it but my god damn it is nice to finally found that someone else understands and gets that we do not want to die or hurt ourselves but sometimes it is not real and it is powerfully overwhelmingly screaming inside of us that just even to scratch our arm with a razor releases pressure or banging our own head against a wall really hard releasing the only way to get a little bit of

[@jasondevalle007]

This is so true that it makes me want to cry 😭 it's not like what is portrayed in Hollywood and it is used as such a stigmatizing slam on people which makes the fear of abandonment even worse - the very reason why we do these things in the first place. Trying so hard to break the cycle and trust people. And not all bipolar people are violent though I have seen some. The one caveat is it at least now that we can understand it somewhat, address it and find healthy coping mechanisms. 😊

[@tanikarowland5763]

Wow this blew my mind on how accurate this is for me. You just explained how i feel in the most perfect words. Im saving this video. Thankyou so much your amazing ♡

[@lunaredits3279]

Loved these facts, would you be willing to do a video about how therapists are able to spot and diagnose bpd?

[@kristmasnails5331]

The more I listen to your videos the sadder I get. Just self analyzing and no knowing I have and am suffering from more than one thing your talking about is scary. I’ve been looking at a lot of your videos and trying to understand why the relationship I’m in gets harder everyday, seeking out if he’s the problem and come to find out we both need help.

[@UnKaring]

Number 6 was pretty much my ex. Was frustrating because she seemed aware of what was going on but couldn't seem to help it. Heartbreaking experience.

[@PrincessCelestia19]

You know how hard it is for me to attempt to explain BPD. Thank u for this.❤

[@toddvtx1300]

My ex had BPD. She self injured a lot. We broke up for good in 2007. Heard the other day she committed suicide in 2012. So sad.

[@50toinfinityatleast]

Oh my goodness that’s terrible. I have an ex that I spent off and on of course, around 10 years with. We reconnected for a short time, not too long ago, but I had to cut the connection. They are so charming and they can play the part for a while, but then the truth always comes out. Luckily, we were just connectingacross the miles this time.

[@mason9872]

I'm a dude diagnosed with it. I can be in a good mood to pissed off to thinking about suicide while pissed off. The anger can be beautiful because I can actually think clearly and I'm in more control and my mind can process things better but it's followed by this deep depression and awful anxiety that makes me contemplate suicide because I feel as if I can no longer feel typical emotions and I'm empty unless I'm causing my happiness through reckless behavior with whatever method that makes my heart race. Those low moods make me think I'm dying or I'm going to die soon which makes me do things that people joke about when asked what they'd do if they had one week to live. I've done crazy things said crazy things to get a reaction being the clown in the room but when I'm not in the mood don't be near me. I can say awful things I regret because I'm more in the moment but with awful emotions or lack of so I can misread the room and if I'm having a good time I'll think everyone else is too. When I'm in a bad mood I have this pessimistic humor to cope that catches people off gaurd from my typical mellow chill mood I actively present. I'm sure BPD varies for everyone and especially the hormonal differences between sexes but for me unless I'm getting high I typically just feel the worst throughout the day like amger, anxiety, depression, emptiness, discontent, all things that influence the way you think. As for how I see people, that can change quickly, I'll praise someone then cut them down in my mind and if I argue with you I won't hesitate to make an example out of you and I won't care until after the fact. I typically hang out with psychos because they tolerate more and think I'm interesting than most people and while I don't want to be around those people they're always looking for a fun time. I'd say if you're around a person with bpd don't be judgemental unless you can make a joke out of it. If you dish it you better take it and if you want to help I have no idea what to tell you other than be strong when we're feeling down and be the voice of reason when we're in the flow state of chaos. Seriously, set boundaries and say something if they get crossed. Being tolerant and putting up with behavior you don't like is also your fault and sometimes we can't catch ourselves because the mood swings or for me the anxiety is numbing to the situation at hand. If you read this... it's just my experience living with it.

[@therealnicster]

Schema therapy resonated with me so well. It's the best therapy for bpd in my opinion

[@keirra6327]

Woah...#6 is literally what I think very often. I am not diagnosed but it just rang true.

[@greylizard1040]

There's usually some context behind reactions. We're often portrayed as being very explosive but a lot of stuff adds up. It feels like being an emotional hurricane and also the clean up crew that comes in afterward. It doesn't help that most of us are related to and attracted to other people with personality disorders. Maybe it's experience / self awareness, but I'm actually usually pretty understanding when I lose people and friendships. I get it.

[@maggieo1683]

Wow, I'm just now realizing that my ex best friend/girlfriend might have BPD. While we were in each other's lives, she did all these things- constantly texting me all the time, and if I didn't respond right away because I was in class or at work or spending a night with my family, it wasn't because I didn't love her or want to talk to her, it was just because I have a life outside of just her and I couldn't always be on the phone. But then when I did text back later that night or something, she would freeze me out or yell at me or say something passive aggressive. Or, she would threaten to cut or even kill herself, and blame me for being a horrible person. For a long time, as an autistic, I didn't know how to react to these things, and I did my best, but we were in middle school and high school at the time and I just didn't know what to do. After a while of this, I thought she was trying to hurt me on purpose, that I was doing everything I could for her, but nothing was ever enough and she was being ungrateful and treating me like shit. Plus, it was so emotionally difficult to have her in my life, I felt caged and exhausted. I had to leave. And when I finally did around six years in, after trying everything I could to help her, she completely cursed me out and called me a horrible person. And... I believed it. I internalized that, and believed I was in fact horrible for leaving her. I remember thinking at the time that I didn't previously believe I was capable of hurting someone like that. And for a while, I thought it was all my fault. I was around 17 at the time. I did work in therapy finally and learned terms like enmeshment and trauma bonding, which is what I now believe she and I actually experienced. And eventually I learned it was not my fault, I just did the best I could in an impossible situation. Now, at 22, just maybe a week ago I found an old journal of mine from that time, and rereading a lot of the things she did, I realized I had started to forget just how bad the things she said and did to me were, and I went to my therapist again saying I was sure Myah had to be abusive, and that she was playing with my feelings on purpose. But when I described more of what I had read from back then, my therapist told me it sounded like she might have borderline personality disorder, and so now I came to this video to learn more. And holy crap, it's dawning on me that it wasn't my fault OR her fault- she did have an extremely traumatic childhood, and she was so afraid of me leaving because I was the one person who was ever nice to her up to that point. She was terrified of me leaving, like she had been left as a child. She wasn't physically left, but her dad was physically, mentally/emotionally, and even sexually abusive to her for her first nine years of life. For me, I had an alcoholic mom growing up, and now as an adult, I've also come to understand that what I experienced from her was child neglect. So this girl I knew was the first one to really pay attention to me and love me, and I was the first person who was kind to her and even just treated her with basic human decency, and she was terrified of losing that, I now understand. In the end, we did hurt each other, but neither of us really meant to. It was just an all around horrific and unfair situation for the both of us, neither of us had optimal childhoods and we both found comfort in each other back then, but we had no boundaries whatsoever and we were definitely codependent. Anyways, extremely long comment, but I had to vent for a hot second, or at least write out what I was thinking and feeling after watching this. Kati, I know you most likely won't see this, but thank you for making this video, I had to rewatch a couple parts to really let it sink in what you said. This video really did help me understand what was going on back then deeper than I ever had. I kept asking myself, "why did she do all those awful things to me?" But now I understand, she wasn't being manipulative, she was terrified of losing the one person to treat her with kindness.

[@sophiewordsworth2806]

I’ve got BPD , along with other mental illnesses & learning difficulties. I don’t think you can get rid of it. Any mental illness or terminal or chronic physical illnesses will never go but for most people things will calm them down wity something they love doing/enjoy etc at times when there not having a severe episode. It’s the most misunderstood illness but yet it’s the hardest to deal with, because your all on your own, just you, your brain, your heart. I got my daughter taken of me without having a chance of been with her alone or with my careers because I’ve got mental illness. Soical workers/other professionals clearly thinks everyone with mental illnesses is dangerous to baby’s & children. That in its self should get childrens services put where they belong, in a cell, LONELY, SCARED & DISTRESSED. They ruins lives & don’t even feel sorry. They ruin parents lives & childrens.

[@Capthowdy098]

I was diagnosed BPD in the military. I abandoned treatment before we got too much into it for fear of how it would jeopardize my career. I do lash out and I know I do but I do whatever I can to prevent this the tug of war in my head. Also, one thing that always bugged me is that despite my diagnosis and really understanding a lot about the disorder and how it aligns with me, I have the opposite than a fear of abandonment. I repel any and all, I have no real friends, I have no social media footprint past 2008. I avoid any work functions I possibly can. I maybe converse with my mother and sister once a month. Despite being married my wife is well aware of what I am. We do get along very well. But I do catch myself keeping her at arm's length. However, I am also a pain patient with a lower back issue, nerve damage, and tilted/cracked L5. So how much of that is pain vs BPD. Edit: I wrote this before fact #5. Now finishing the rest, it makes more sense.

[@TheAlixour]

I feel ya on this. Still trying to figure out how to stop pushing others away when I am in pain. However less personal connections means less complications, etc.

[@CristinB-rh4jk]

I have quiet BPD and man I swear it sucks!! But knowing the why is SO helpful.

[@squirming_squirrels]

It does not matter from where manipulative behavior originated, manipulation is any attempt to control the behavior of others to meet some unmet need. Just because manipulation in borderline personality disorder is not malignant does not mean it’s not manipulation. Second, untreated or under treated BPD can and dies result in harm to others. While I’m absolutely in favor of destigmatization, nobody should need to endure the kind of unhealthy relationships that result from BPD. Partners of people with BPD deserve love, respect and stability as much as those with BPD do. However, again, regardless where this instability originated, it’s unfair to expect their partners to maintain a relationship with anyone who is incapable of doing the same.

[@squirming_squirrels]

@@LuluDior4 unfortunately sometimes that’s not going to be enough. We can be compassionate and still do what’s best for ourselves. Most, if not all, abusive behavior originated from mental illness and trauma. It’s almost always inadvertent and non-malignant. But regardless of origin and motive we must protect ourselves from toxicity.

[@gheufbfff]

I agree. My ex wife destroyed my entire life, destroyed our 18 month old sons future, my reputation, career everything. She had so much support around her while she was going through therapy and treatment, nothing but love and admiration from me for nearly 12 years. I was accused of dv after nearly 2 years of therapy support, she couldn't even commit to it properly for our 18 month old son, whom she put in hospital after a spitting episode when she grabbed at me when I was hoping him. They are absolutely dangerous, they absolutely are unpredictable and they absolutely will cause harm to the people inside there 4 walls, then lie, cheat and twist anything they perceive as a threat to there false image regardless of what damage it will immediately cause the innocent. Once diagnosed bpd and its traits become chosen behaviour. Those who fail to address it show absolutely be avoided unless you are a clinical expert. Even they struggle to properly help bpd individuals. Ask 80 percent of people diagnosed with bpd and they will tell you they dont have bpd. It isn't sstigma when innocent peoples lives are destroyed. Come on

[@Bree-ree]

I swear you live inside my brain. Thank you for sharing information and reducing stigma ❤❤❤

[@Katimorton]

Happy to help!

[@Kristen10-22]

I can go through all 6 in one day…not one bpd patient can fit into one small box. Patients are all different and I can have symptoms from each type

[@raymondmurdock8603]

I don't know if I have BPD or if it's just my CPTSD creating similar symptoms I have most of the symptoms except my fear of abandonment is a bit different I don't act anxious or whatever I instead just completely avoid people it's not like I need to do everything I can to stop the abandonment it's like of course you abandoned me that's the logical choice because I'm shit and and you deserve better than having to tolerate my existence I avoid relationships and friendships and anything like that because it's like why would anyone wanna hang out with me I don't even wanna hang out with me but I do have fear how I'm perceived and judged getting any criticism or hate can cause me to spiral doing anything I can to try and fix it even when I know I'm just making it worse my sense of self is so dependent on what other people think of me someone compliments me I think I'm actually kind of OK somebody criticizes me even something normal and I immediately feel like I'm horrific and need to die like splitting but only about myself if that makes any sense

[@Zwantceeto]

The texting thing is spot on 😂. It's not fun though to be spiraling like that 10 times a day, the pain is unbearable.

[@Rockhoppr3]

I am both intrigued and concerned I can easily see many of these symptoms in myself and a lot of people i know 🤔

[@raymanlegy]

My ex Had BPD and was trying to tell me about it but I'm avoidant and didn't listen in too deeply. Wow I learnt so much since breaking up with her. It was such a rollercoaster. The constant texting of good morning and good night was cute in the beginning and it got to too much near the end that i stopped texting her. I got so overwhelmed. I thought I was the the problem. She was going to therapy and using DBT but it wasn't enough. I got so hurt near the end of the relationship she even moved onto another person after we broke off. I guess that fear of abandonment you go find the reassurance from someone new. I could see all 4 forms of BPD in her. I tried breaking up 3 times and the 3rd time we finally broke off. But I found she blame shifted it on.