6 Signs You’re Unintentionally Toxic, Not Malicious

Have you ever asked yourself: Am I toxic? If so, then you are taking a step in the right direction. Being self-aware is the first stage of acceptance that you, and everyone around you, are imperfect. Sometimes, you don’t notice that your habits are harmful to you and your loved ones. That’s why it’s good to learn more about them and how to reduce that behavior. So, here are a few signs you’re unintentionally toxic, but not malicious.
Did you know that there are a few common "harmless" phrases that are actually toxic? To name a few, watch this video: • 12 "Harmless" Phrases...
Writer: Chamae
Script Editor: Vanessa Tao
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: Amanda Silvera / amandasilvera
Animator: Mara (New Animator)
KZbin Manager: Cindy Cheong
REFERENCES
Boyes, A. (2016, October 31). 7 Effective Ways to Ask for Help (and Get It). Psychology Today. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201610/7-effective-ways-ask-help-and-get-it
Davis, A. (2022, January 1). How to Stop Overpromising. Dr. Angelina Davis. Retrieved from excelatconsulting.com/how-to-stop-overpromising/
H. (2021, September 3). How to Stop Being Pessimistic: 7 Tactics to Embrace Positivity. Tracking Happiness. Retrieved from www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-stop-being-pessimistic/
H., K. (2017, September 23). 8 Signs You’re Becoming a Toxic Person. Psych2Go. Retrieved from psych2go.net/signs-becoming-toxic-person/
Hamilton, J. (2020, December 24). 5 Signs That You Are Unintentionally Manipulative. Psych2Go. Retrieved from psych2go.net/5-signs-that-you-are-unintentionally-manipulative/
Herrick, J. (2020, January 16). The Dangers of Overpromising and Under-Delivering. Entrepreneur. Retrieved from www.entrepreneur.com/article/345124
Ishak, R., & Steber, C. (2021, July 26). How To Stop Seeking Validation From Others, According To Experts. Bustle. Retrieved from www.bustle.com/wellness/how-to-stop-seeking-validation-from-others-experts
Magee, H. (2022, January 23). How To Stop Agreeing to Things That Aren’t Good For You. Codependency Recovery Coaching. Retrieved from www.haileymagee.com/blog/2020/2/3/how-to-stop-agreeing-to-things-that-arent-good-for-you#:%7E:text=Generally%2C%20overpromising%20stems%20from%20our,unrealistic%20given%20our%20present%20circumstances.
Razzetti, G. (2018, November 15). Want to Resolve Conflicts? Stop Blaming Others. Psychology Today. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-adaptive-mind/201811/want-resolve-conflicts-stop-blaming-others
Ward, D. (2011, November 13). High Sensitivity, Low Self-Esteem. Psychology Today. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201111/high-sensitivity-low-self-esteem
Wright, T. (2020, February 6). Are You Accidentally Toxic? Inc.Com. Retrieved from www.inc.com/travis-wright/are-you-accidentally-toxic.html

[@Psych2go]

We have a new animator on the team! Do you like this style?

[@miesokim9]

It’s amazing!!

[@annahi2834]

Yes!

[@theyyluvvmaddi]

Yup 💕

[@juliezavatar]

Yesssss

[@Crimson_whatever_idk]

First

[@mahletabebe8802]

I hate that society makes us feel like there are “good people” and “toxic people”. All people have some toxic traits. This doesn’t make them a “bad” or “toxic” person. It just means they have stuff to work on.

[@tania_yt]

So true! We are all a mixed bag 🥰

[@ct6852]

The truly toxic ones are definitely bad for your health and life. Sometimes you just have to label something 'bad' and move on...and hope they change for the better.

[@vincev4630]

Yeah, my parents are toxic half the time but I know they're not perfect and have their own struggles, i just show them love anyways and they appreciate it later when they're calm. I learned to not take their projections personally.

[@oldoneaa]

SO TRUE

[@aazhie]

Yes. There are certainly folks who are 80% toxic and too much for most of us, but sometimes they can be okay around others who are strong influences. Sometimes people just aren't a good fit to be freinds or partners, or they need help changing their habits. I think the worst toxic trait is being unwilling to consider changing for any reason!

[@yelyahfan88x94]

"Ah, yes, my fear confirmed. I was looking for more reasons to hate myself" - all of us, probably

[@spiritualelement757]

Oh how I relate to this

[@skyedwards8959]

Please stop calling me out

[@virginiarailfannoah5415]

Hating yourself isn't going to make things better. The only way to improve yourself is to identify your problems and try to solve them. Pity of any kind never works!

[@ALMIGHTYGOJOCATORU]

how- how did you know

[@SkyQueenDragon]

Pretty much ... 😢

[@ioneastra1104]

The "practical and realistic" part is so spot on That's exactly my excuse on pessimism

[@ksanag3426]

Hmm, sometimes I think that pessimistic people like me are brakes for society. We are good at not getting into an accident, but if we persist, the car won't go anywhere.

[@aniyahlyszt3531]

There's a fine line between irrational pessimism and simply being realistic about the state of the world.

[@Luv2sing836]

Not to mention if you use your brakes too hard or at the wrong time that can cause an accident when someone else crashes into you

[@kamilasr216]

Same, honestly...I guess that some part of me is like this because I'd rather expect the worst (mostly of myself) than get dissapointed

[@user-lf5uw9nx7h]

Yes indeed. Also I rarely assume people want to see me for myself but more for what they might need. I've recently realised that relatives are offended by this. Also that people I know feel ashamed asking for help. Like is their fault they can't live without proper wages and support. Complicated.❤

[@unknownuser6940]

I definitely feel like I've been unintentionally toxic. Adverse experiences suck, but it's not forever. Thank you, and I know I can make things better.

[@prehistorichero2755]

Me too.

[@alkamist8754]

This video basically describes my whole personality. 😥 I wish that I could do better, but I always seem to fall back down again. Thanks for the video Psych2Go.

[@libertyash7578]

Just wishing to be better is the first step to being better

[@izaki4058]

Yea, i feel the exact same way. It’s like this video described my life LMAO

[@isaiahvoss]

Don't fall down. Don't let your past make you bitter let it make you better in your way. Life is a puzzle because you may be a good fit or not in the best fit possible. You can only do your best in this life but things will get better.

[@alkamist8754]

@@isaiahvoss Thank you. 🙂

[@no_L_in_sight]

Let me tell you, I also see myself in all 6 of these points. But then again I already recognized all of them, working towards a better version of myself and can already see improvement. Just don't forget to not be too hard on yourself. Don't ridicule yourself for slipping, but rather be proud of you for recognizing it. It's going to be a process and in five years from now you will look back and see how much you actually changed. I'm proud of you and anyone who identifies with/reads this for being self-aware and open for change. Alone with recognizing this you are already miles ahead of people who don't see a need in changing ❤

[@yourpalsamor9349]

I think I'm unintentionally toxic. I always need my friends validation for everything. I don't know how to ask for help, and I guilt trip them. Now that I think back on it, everytime I asked my parents for help they'd lash out due to my choice of timing. Friends would think I were to look more confident if I refused help and did everything myself. I always see the worst of things due to not getting much from people. I usually only receive bad news from family and friends. I don't have a shoulder to lean on, someone I can vent to. I'm overly sensitive. Everytime something harsh is thrown my way (friend or not) I take it literally, I can't seem to take jokes or anything. I associate my happiness with certain people, I cling to them for support and other unimportant things, I can't tell if they are uncomfortable or don't want the pressure of someone relying on them all the time. I know that I'm toxic, even if it's unintentional. I care for my family and friends but I don't know how to show it. I make jokes at the worst times and nobody takes me literally. That's my Story/Situation Thank's for coming to my TedTalk. [EDIT] Thank you for the support guys.

[@MackClark]

I can relate to this. It's problem that I realize, but I'm not sure how to fix. I just don't want to hurt people anymore

[@Rhodair]

yeah, the most annoying ways to get asked for help is when someone's beating around the bush rather than just being out with it or when someone asks with loaded expectations; when someone for a favor in way that implies 'no' would be unacceptable or devastating, it gets awkward and almost makes a 'no' more probable

[@rnbsteenstar]

Also look into seeing if you're an hsp.

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing your story. Showing care and love requires practice, don't give up!

[@isaiahvoss]

Don't give up! You have support around you even people you haven't met yet! People have to be the eyes and ears for you so you can hold to your punches. It's not worth being toxic.( I think that's why people sometimes may not want to be around me.) There's so much for your life ahead of you. I think of the lyric from the song Numb by Linkin Park saying "you were just like me but someone disappointed in you" meaning the people that expect you to be like them have disappointed you. So be the opposite of those people that you feel you're being toxic to. You can be happy with yourself. It takes time to get out of the toxic habit but you'll get there. When life leaves us blind, love keeps us kind- Chester Bennington. Expressing your fate with the mechanics of the world, not an excuse to do nothing. Leave the past of the fabric of this old life of yours.

[@shaunasugar]

When you said being too sensitive can be toxic it definitely made me think of myself. Sometimes I need reassurance but every now and then I think I ask for *too* much reassurance… it’s good to be checked. Thanks Psych2Go! ❤️

[@kb8511]

Me too. I know I know when I am being overly sensitive, but I don’t know how to stop it. And then I need to be validated by others that it’s okay to be sensitive, even though I know I need to stop getting so butt hurt about little things.

[@ct6852]

It's alright to be sensitive. But if you find yourself constantly trying to punish others for insensitivity because something they did vaguely reminds you of something harsh...that can be toxic. But always good to respectively let your feelings known.

[@chrisi7127]

​@@ct6852I have gotten severely irritated by my sister for always thinking I am doing everything to spite her. I hum a tune while walking around in the house? I am trying to annoy her. I wake up at 5AM for work and turn on the shower? I do it because I don't care about her sleep. It is getting severely difficult to even stay in the house because everytime I call her out on it, she blames it on bipolar disorder without even apologizing for it or trying to work on herself.

[@wantstobeavigilante5217]

1 - 0:30 : Promises u can't keep 2 - 1:16 u use pitty to get what u want 3 - 2:06 u r defensive 4 - 2:48 u r overly sensitive 5 - 3:45 u r pessimistic 6 - 4:52 u rely on others for validation

[@DEATHCHICKEN1337]

I relate to 1, 3, and 6.

[@jittugunda5588]

Literally everything except 2 , wait is being pessimistic about ourselves only is toxic?

[@holoasteroid3734]

Ohh. Ouch. 5/6 (except 2) There was definitely some points that made me realize that I tend to come off a bit strong when expressing my care towards others, my friends included. Especially with how one of them had thought I was annoying and irritating to interact with (which I had to find out through a few different friends) And, personally, I've always been a bit of people pleaser and punching bag/mat for others to walk on. Luckily, I've been working to change my behaviour with the help of my therapist. I know I still got a long way to go, and the trauma I've experienced doesn't help me one bit.

[@Raizellzz]

Holy shit im still toxic r u srs.

[@CheezMaster24]

I relate to all except Being Pessimistic...

[@2dscorner496]

I definitely feel like i am unintentionally toxic sometimes but there’s like two sides to me and it’s so frustrating 😭

[@merediththomas501]

Don't give up being that better you. Blessings.

[@Yung_Stoopid]

SAME

[@zenmomLol]

Same as well. (Bruh to myself😂) but I do like all sides of me, even the cranky grouchy ones!🤣😂

[@ChowderTDMOFCAL]

Same

[@Trashboat1060]

I been recently feeling like that it sucks

[@rixiant6373]

Kind of needed to hear this. I lost a friend few months ago and I blamed myself for it even though I didn't fully know the reason. I already knew I wasn't being a good friend but didnt know how it all went wrong. I am doing better now and I am actively trying to better myself.

[@Brivqhn]

Thats great! I know its been a year since you said this, so im making sure your doing well!

[@Anyaforger71818]

I too lost a really best friend just because of these traits, don't know how to explain him.. I think it will never work out .. I lost him.

[@viviansaravanan7531]

I feel like a major part of social anxiety and abandonment trauma is believing yourself to be toxic when you actually just want to take normal liberties with people. Like, I never arrange to hang out with people I really like because I see that as being “toxic, co-dependent, cluster B behavior.” I guess what I’m trying to say that our fear of being cluster B makes us look like we’re cluster A.

[@khalilahd.]

What a great way to keep us growing and self reflecting! No one wants to believe they’re toxic and yet sometimes we are the bad guy in other peoples stories. This is a great wake up call to avoid negative behavior. Thanks Psych2go ☺️💜

[@yesha3306]

OMG hii I watch you're vids💜

[@khalilahd.]

@@yesha3306 wow thank you thank you 🥺💜

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for watching!

[@annafranc8081]

@Lukey boy Lord God’s plan for us revealed in caterpillar’s transformation: kzbin.info/www/bejne/o3qvlWloi7Vpbqs

[@annafranc8081]

@@yesha3306 please stop putting God’s name in vain

[@oddgamingcat7442]

I try not to depend on people for validation, but it's hard. I feel like I can't trust my own judgment or that I just need to make sure people aren't annoyed with me to the point I think I'm actually annoying them. My grandma told me overly apologizing for every little thing actually makes me annoying, not the fact I was having a good time talking.

[@JhoangelF]

at least, you're conscious about what's troubling you. remember, changing takes time. you could try to start trusting yourself while you're working on your flaws

[@nancy6160]

When I'm extremely stressed I say I'm sorry a LOT. It's like I have no control over the behavior!😢 What I have learned is to explain it to my loved ones, and let them know it will pass. Lol I even say I'm sorry for saying I'm sorry! It must be something I learned to cope in an unstable family as a little kid. Has to be.

[@oddgamingcat7442]

@@nancy6160 Unfortunately I have this same issue. I can't help it. The way people look at me when I apologize for apologizing too much. I think it's just from my anxiety disorder or maybe something else. Don't know

[@ravenstillwaters5195]

@@oddgamingcat7442 The trick is to set your intent not to do it. Ex. Say a positive affirmation such as, I am perfect just as I am, I donot say I'm sorry for things that are not my fault. Hope this helps.

[@CeriousDivinity444]

This comes from not trusting yourself. Take some time to reflect upon the things that made you lose trust in yourself and then work to rebuild that trust. You have to work this backwards

[@tealnoise]

I feel like we're all toxic in our own ways, but that's ok. We aren't perfect, but we can try to fix our negatives and become a better person.

[@viviansaravanan7531]

“Try to run words through your head before you say them out loud.” That’s me! Always self-censoring until things herniate out strangely from the pressure of keeping them in.

[@LadyVandMrT]

A strategy for you that is more effective: say whatever you are thinking first, just say it, get it out, even if it is not worded how you want. Then, reword it and say it how you wish you had said it 3 times. Repeat. You will retrain the way your unconscious mind thinks if you change the way you speak consciously. Speech is the translation software between our conscious and unconscious minds, and it is useful for changing our minds as well as representing them. Good luck!

[@StrawbearXD]

*6 Signs You're Unintentionally Toxic, Not Malicious* 0:29 1) You make a lot more promises than you can keep. 1:17 2) You use pity to get the things you want. 2:05: 3) You’re defensive. 2:51 4) You’re overly sensitive. 3:45 5) You’re exceedingly pessimistic. 4:52 6) You rely on other people for validation. :)

[@yassmin2918]

Wow very fast 🤣🤣

[@SphereofCygnus]

Thank you ❤

[@jessicakenny1768]

@@ava198 please remember that yo ulife is so worth living and you are so valued 🤗🤗🤗

[@becz9485]

@@ava198 acknowledgement is the first step to betterment ❤️

[@avieebvlogs8018]

That describes me💔 I have to work on it but a lot is due to my mental health, still no excuse but a reason.

[@glebolkhovsky2531]

I do wonder about the "too sensitive" part - of course one shouldn't take everything to heart, yet I think many people are not *sensitive enough* . In a world when unnecessary brovado and risks, toughness, numbness of emotions are praised, there should be place for consideration, graciousness and compassion, going the extra mile sometimes for someone who needs it.

[@tucky3191]

This helped me as an HSP instead of feeling shame

[@Fenrispro]

Agreed, i think im Hsp and have often gotten insulted by such comment.

[@tucky3191]

There’s nothing wrong with being sensitive if you behave right! Sensitivity is a gift!!!!

[@malika2780]

Thanks !!! I’ve always felt ashamed and Cried alone in my bed thinking I was the worst human on this earth after I’ve heard « being oversensitive » is toxic… well as a HSP person, that’s just how my brain work and my therapist told me to not feel bad about that. Growing up, you just learn to regulate and « control » your sensitivity since it’s higher than the norm but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

[@glebolkhovsky2531]

@@malika2780 precisely 😉 If anything, it's your strength. Mastery over emotions is something many people can't do.

[@breadloaf1595]

Man I feel attacked, the last three points hit home. I realized how insecure I was and troubled by other peoples opinions of me. I was so concerned about what others thought of me and needed validation from it. I notice I often send photos of my paintings to people, seeking out a positive reaction to it. Because I needed validation that it was good, even though I knew it was good in my eyes. I think this stems from my Anxiety however, seeing that I’m constantly stressed with what I look like, how I act, etc. this is what led me to this video, I was just asking myself if I was toxic because of the way that I am and clicked this video. So honestly, I don’t know if I’m toxic or if it’s just the Anxiety 🤷‍♀️

[@anonymouse7773]

Yes I have been feeling really down about myself, have certainly been unintentionally & a bit emotionally manipulative in some situations, but now I realize it's bc 1) I was around other ppl who also had a lot of these toxic traits or maybe were actually toxic in general and 2) I've had a lot of bad experiences of being gaslighted, bullied, not heard when I was in in literal danger or in situations that crossed my boundaries or could have lead to danger. It also took me a long time to speak up for myself, so for a long time I was the "bottle up then blow up" person. So even someone I couldn't get along with internally I would be super nice to or even have as a close friend but probably both out of too much empathy for the other, suppression of my own emotions, fear of losing them, etc I wouldn't show any signs of being upset until years down the line when they did something that was the last straw; then I would snap. I also have so much anxiety due to past experiences and do enter a lot of situations believing the person either hates me or cares so little about me. And I think this thinking also creates some automatic mistrust and even a little loathing of the other person before I truly even get to know them. But I've been trying to be more compassionate towards myself about all the times I messed up bc that's the only way to truly get better rather than beating yourself up about it. Most of the ppl I was toxic to I felt that they had been toxic to me also (like "friends" spreading rumors about me, talking sh*t about me on social media groups, getting way too involved in personal situations and then giving me half the truth, etc) but the main issue is I confronted them about it many years later and I also kinda tried to "get back" at them by mirroring their actions or escalating the situation. I never named names, but I did make passive comments about them on social media where I figured some ppl would know who I was talking about. But looking back now, I wish I'd just waited until the right moment to have a calm discussion, since I know I didn't have the skills to stand up for myself many years ago. Even if you're being toxic towards a toxic person or trynna get revenge on them, I would not try it. It's a rabbit hole that never ends and then you get more drained. At the end of the day, you don't wanna be like the ppl who hurt you even if you think it's "justified"->don't fight fire with fire. Also, some ppl are not intentionally this way so even if they're hella annoying, I'd say just be upfront in the nicest way possible and if they wanna discuss with you they will, or leave them be. Trust me, it'll save so much time and energy. If you find yourself getting attached to ppl who are not good for your character-building, that's another thing to look at. Why do you find yourself around ppl like this? There's something internal to that too. Most importantly, forgive yourself, and don't take kind ppl for granted. It was when I ignored all the kind ppl that actually gave a sh*t and who I didn't have to "put up" with or "cling to" or feel "on the edge" with that I felt myself so much less bitter than I ever had before. And I couldn't believe it. It was kinda uncomfortable at the beginning, to be around such generous, warm, kind-hearted but that's a normal response to anyone who's been burnt a few too many times. I even found myself more forgiving towards myself and even those who hurt me. I rlly wish we could have more nuanced discussions about toxicity bc so much of it stems from ppl's bad experiences/trauma; I know there legit be some toxic a$$holes out there but I feel like there are many more ppl who are complicated human beings that are scared of the coldness of the world and need some true kindness. I actually hope that one day me and all the ppl in my life who also had a bunch of toxic traits can return to each other after having experienced some wonderful things/relationships in our lives and be at peace again. Don't hold onto hate or labels. And don't forget that the first step starts with you taking ownership of your part and your toxicity; don't sit around and wait to see if other ppl care to own up to their sh*t. You may not have control over a whole lot in this world, but you have a lot of control over yourself, and don't wait for others to change yourself.

[@dannydevito2.066]

I feel SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!! If I watched this video 2 years, I would have related to MULTIPLE signs on this list. However, I recognized my behavior and took steps to change it. Now, I am a happier and healthier version of myself. Also, bonus points!! I can easily recognize some of these points so I can avoid falling for them (I know they are not malicious, but still) and this is honestly really useful, especially with the guilt tripping one because that used to be like my biggest toxic trait and now I catch myself like every time I'm about to (rarely) and I change my words. I also wanna thank Psych2Go so so so so much. It was watching their videos about toxic traits that made me ask the question "Am I toxic?" and it was the start of my journey to being a better person. Now, I take actions to improve my lifestyle for myself. Thank you so much, Psych2Go.

[@juliajohansson2665]

How did you get better? Did you talk to a therapist?

[@dannydevito2.066]

@@juliajohansson2665 I'll start this with clarifying and naming exactly what i used go do. I, as previously mentioned, used pity to get things i wanted, but i also aas very defensive and overly sensitive. Unfortunately, I was not able to speak to a therapist at the time. If you are worried, I want you to know I have a very good one now c: The way I stopped by behavior was honestly just trying to watch myself and then stop it. This was surprisingly easy, as I always noticed when I did these things, because they struck certain emotions. The only reason I used pity to get what I want is because I was too nervous to ask for what I wanted or realized that what I wanted was something I shouldn't have, so instead I asked for it indirectly. This gave me a very awkward feeling, as I had to word my sentences in the most peculiar way to give off the effect I wanted. Because of the peculiar feeling, I always caught mysslf when I did this, so I started to simply not do it. I began getting into the habit of asking for things directly after my pity manipulation act was out of the picture. This also came with learning to suck it up and not bother when you know you're not really supposed to have something. Being defensive and overly sensitive were different, though. These took more time, and I honestly attacked them with the same strategy. Watch my behavior and manually fix it. A lot of it was changing my mindset. I found nothing will change if you don't have the right mindset. I still struggle a little bit with this, but not to a level of toxicity, just to a level of personal annoyance, where I myself don't want to have this feeling. In the end, I would not reccomend my strategies to anyone. They may have been a little effective, but they eventually led me down a path of only seeing my flaws, which drove me crazy. In all honestly, they could potentially be used again, but they would require some tweaking. If you plan on using this strategy, please take these guidelines to heart: Focus on the big things. Do not use this strategy to fix every little flaw about your behavior. Do not make a lost about things you need to fix. Smaller habits do not work as well with this strategy, and it will be frustrating and ineffective. Do not get friends involved. It may seem helpful to have a second or third pair of eyes on your behavior, as nobody can be easily self aware, but it is often not a good idea to ask your friends to be aware of every behavioral flaw you make and then report it back to you. It will be overwhelming, more than you can handle. It may also cause a little dislike from them to you when they start to think there's a big problem in your little habits.

[@ninguem5025]

I'm so proud of you!!!!!

[@jessirose]

❤️❤️

[@dannydevito2.066]

Thank you so much 🥺

[@SomeGuy-gc8zs]

I appreciate the use of Adventure Time characters, because that show LOVES to talk about feelings and interpersonal relationships. Every single one of them, including the good guys like Finn, is occasionally balls to the wall toxic, but, as this video is intended to help people do, they acknowledge their faults and their actions, and start to grow past them, and it's kind of the whole point of the show. I am definitely the pessimistic type. Way I see it, I'm either right and prepared, or pleasantly surprised, but I do try not to let that leak all over everyone else.

[@smollclodnoir9557]

@🪐Cobalt The Critical Asteroid🪐 *Yeah, the second I saw the thumbnail*

[@piretiris8223]

Also Darwin from TAWOG

[@juliahart8593]

@@smollclodnoir9557 me too, i guess we're just that much of su nerds :')

[@juliahart8593]

@꧁Cobalt The Phantom꧂ and steven from steven universe

[@lillypopalt3799]

@@juliahart8593and amethyst of course

[@biggestsigh]

I can definitely say I can relate to being too pessimistic, especially the compliment situation. I was very much unpopular in school and while I certainly don't think I was bullied, I received many false compliments and it just became a habit to not believe anything nice people say about me or the things I do. My immediate thought was always "is this a sarcastic compliment?" It took me years to accept compliments about my fashion choices, artwork, and music, but I still can't seem to get past compliments directed towards myself. I'm much more ready to accept "you sing really well" or "this piece looks amazing" than "you look great" and it's kind of frustrating because sometimes my responses can sound really ungrateful and even rude without this context.

[@itsme_AYA21]

I needed this. I was that unintentional toxic friend. I am educating myself now. I am healing. I am learning.

[@tameriacole91]

2:16 OMG AMETHYST AND STEVEN (and pumpkin too ☺️)

[@fradenX]

Thank you for reminding me. I'm autistic and when people don't respond to what I said, I get overly sensitive about what I've done or said wrongly. I know this could be quite toxic sometimes especially when people need space (which is why I always encourage them to tell me directly, cos I might never get the "hint"). And yes I'm aware that this is a learned behaviour, and I'm trying to be a better person socially. But sometimes keeping myself in check with this kind of content is a great reminder. Thank you Psych2Go :)

[@smal5504]

im autistic too and i relate to this so much!! due to this ive even gotten myself in a 4 months long grudge with someone i considered a close friend, and even after all that the pain still sticks.. 🙃

[@LazySillyDog]

@smal5504 I'm also autistic and have issues with grudges and forgiveness in general. I'm really trying to get better, because I get frustrated with my wife sometimes for stupid things that are 100% normal and of no fault of her, but the irritation still happens, and I have a hard time voicing those things. We've talked about it and I am getting better over time, but its really hard to shed behaviors I learned from my parents my whole life

[@lilymorgo3412]

I mean I'm also autistic and I've been struggling with this for a few years, and I've even been trying to cure myself from it because every time I even try I end up crying

[@frankkennedy6388]

I'm not autistic, but it's so stupid that giving hints is the norm. Why??? People should be more straight forward.

[@andreawallenberger2668]

I'm really calling myself out on this. Having these concrete steps and questions helps me recognize and unlink from these harmful passive-aggressive codependent hypervigilant action habits, to shift, learn, and practice in the new gentler clearer ways until they become my new normal habit ways. Saving this, for sure. TY! ❤️

[@hanbean22]

the last three points really hit the spot on. i gotta love myself more!!! thank you psycho2go and everyone who shares the same things with me!! we'll be better soon! i love you!

[@nickpropst4938]

You did good in pointing out every flaw in my life.

[@craigday66608]

You people create your problems. You want to be what this video describes 😂

[@elenabenz5882]

So defensive! Just kidding. :)

[@zf10studios52]

@@craigday66608 excuse me?

[@craigday66608]

@@zf10studios52 You're excused...😂

[@craigday66608]

@@zf10studios52 You seem to think it's a trend to be seen as "toxic". Like that makes you better (scary, badass) than others. As human beings, we all must be toxic to a degree, some maybe toxic and some may not, it's a part of being human. But to brag about being toxic 'pointing out every flaw in my life' is just so BEGGY to me. Boasting about being toxic isn't cool, it's stupid and to be proud of that is DISGUSTING. People who really are DO NOT need to watch a video on KZbin and tell the world they are toxic. It's PATHETIC!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@apost_ev4]

The pessimistic thing hit me. I can be veeeeeery pessimistic because I'm very insecure about me and what I do, but when it's someone else that says the exact same thing, I will be extremely positive and empathetic to help them being better and more positive. It's so contradictory ! But it's me haha

[@zenmomLol]

Yeah, you’re doing great! 😂👍🏻 (I’m a funny person by the way, so you can chuckle or laugh if you like. I like to cheer people up)

[@siulko14]

You literally explained my whole life in that one paragraph 💀

[@SubShadow818]

This is also my life in a nutshell. Its good to know I'm not alone in this. I find it hard talking to optimistic people cause my own pessimistic mind challenges theirs and I always kill the conversation or mood. Its pretty bad lol

[@crownagex5687]

BROOOOO WTF?! you literally explain my whole self. why are my views so pessimistic but then I try to help others with their own pessimism?

[@maybluebird9798]

you just described my friend perfectly

[@seethalite]

I related to being defensive, sensitive and seeking validation a bit? I never thought low self esteem would hurt other people! I will work on it, Thank you for the video. 🖤

[@tgandhib26362]

Well the damage was worse than I thought, thank you for this message. I needed it 🙏🏽💖

[@ComicalRealm]

"Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out" - Eustace Bagge

[@keiron.4612]

I know quite a lot of toxic people so I must owed a hell of a lot of money

[@upbestsalt1551]

Got me money so I can move?

[@3GS._.]

@---深刻なエラーが発生しました--- Heres how to! Ill show you!: *Disappears from reality*

[@Psych2go]

What a powerful quote!

[@brienethefox853]

What episode was that!? Didn’t know Eustace was so profound!

[@tylerdurdennn2654]

1) You make a lot of promises you can't keep. 2) You use pity to get the things done. 3) You are defensive. 4) You are overly sensitive. 5) You are exceedingly pessimistic. 6) You rely on other people's validation.

[@DrBarbequeSauce]

Hmm... I'm guilty of 2, 3, 4 & 6

[@oldoneaa]

I love how psych2go's vids help people know that toxic people arent bad, they just need help.

[@ailxxn_]

Thank you for posting this. You honestly help so much. I’ve been dealing with these signs for a while, and it’s just now I realize. I lost all of my long term friends because of this, and I thought they didn’t like me. This video opened my eyes, and now I realized what I have to work on. You really are a life saver. Keep up the good work.

[@MyOwnShedOfLight]

Honestly everyone is toxic in their own ways, I just wish peace and love for all. I know how hard it is to grow from, especially if you were raised in an environment of harsh criticism. And just society in general makes it hard.....like standards for both men and women.

[@justingreen8006]

No, not everyone is toxic.

[@MyOwnShedOfLight]

@@justingreen8006 boohoo

[@isaiahvoss]

It's best to be around supportive and optimistic people. I agree on that. That's what I need in my life but time will tell. I just have to be with the right people to have that support. Thanks Psych2Go. Your channel is therapy.

[@Psych2go]

It's very important to surround ourselves with supportive others. We appreciate your support for our channel!

[@Omnidow03]

I agree however what do you do if you have no supportive people at all in your school?!? Exactly you can’t do anything.

[@Omnidow03]

This isn’t meant to be mean, it’s just the truth. - ⭐️

[@isaiahvoss]

@@Omnidow03 I'm actually out of school but it can be tough to be accepted for who I am of the way I'm feeling or I have to act like everyone else that it doesn't make life enjoyable. It's a red pill blue pill situation. You may not know me but I've went through hard times to get where I am. Most of the people I graduated with were toxic but not all but I didn't have a good support system from my friends except for a few. But they just moved on. I had to accept that. But the way you said it about support and I can't do anything is harsh. I can do anything. How would you feel if someone told you don't have a good support system? I've got a good support system but with more of a counselor and leaders than friends except for three of my friends. It just has to be with the right people that I can rely on. So I can do anything. But your life is a puzzle whether you're a good fit or not. You can only invest your time in so much that everything will be burned someday with Jesus' return. So maybe it wasn't the best time to judge someone if they don't have a good support system or if they do. Be careful of what you say to people. It might sting you right in the butt. Just to let you know for next time to be a good supporting advocate for someone else. Sorry if it sounded harsh.

[@laughsingay]

Yeah- the most important step towards change is realizing you're doing anything wrong in the first place. Obviously if you don't know you're doing something wrong you're not going to change. My toxic behavior a few years back drove a close friend of mine away, and we're not longer friends. That was my personal wake up call, and gave me the realization that I was being pretty horrible. I've since changed quite a lot- to the point where I barely even recognize that younger version of myself as me. It's kind of weird, but I guess it's good since it means I've improved. I still have some things I need to work on of course- I always will, that's kind of how it works -but I feel like I'm at least to the point now of not being toxic.

[@1lala123]

I loved this video because when I found out I was highly sensitive I was shocked. Later my friends were slipping away and I was confused. Not only my friends, but my other classmates and students. I asked my sister for a while if there was a problem with me because I knew she would give me an honest answer, and she told me I was just Toxic. I grew up thinking being toxic was bad so I decided too find out more about it to stop my toxicity from growing. I went on psych2go because it's my favorite channel that is so easy to connect with. Once I watched this video I realized I was wrong. Thank you so much psych2go!😊

[@orenda434]

I was at work the other night and I actually was crying to one of my coworkers because I had this realization during my shift and I wanted to fix it. This video said the things I needed to hear and am putting in the work this week and month to do better Thank you❤️🙌🏼👏🏼

[@yujibell]

I've had a friend bring up wanting to be surrounded by positive people. She spent the whole time on her phone, her stories are full of pretending to have a good time with us but ignored us mostly while passive aggressively ranting about how she dislikes x things (while knowing we do x things). I felt pretty bad until another friend brought it up later, that's when I realized how poorly she acted. If you want more positive supportive people in this world, start by being one.

[@AnomalyFoxx]

I had a friend like this. She pretends to know everyone in the goth community yet treats them like garbage.

[@jonnnnniej]

I'm currently struggling with this with a friend. She has no love for herself so she needs validation from everyone around her. But it's never enough, she keeps feeling empty. She puts down others as "jokes" because that's probably what she does to herself constantly. I've tried so hard to be there for her, but she doesn't believe I care because she doesn't care about herself. I've struggled a lot with seeing myself, my feelings, my needs, etc. I'm finally learning, but that made me realize she's not a good friend. And I know it's because she struggles with herself, but by still accepting her behaviors I now know I'm crossing a boundary for myself. I don't wanna do that anymore, but I also don't wanna hurt her cause she is already doing that to herself. It's messing me up cause I know this is not a healthy friendship for me, but I don't know how to communicate this to her without her getting very defensive.

[@sarahgee4266]

This is really hard for me, as I have been newly diagnosed with Autism. I may appear defensive because usually others don't understand where I'm coming from. I am naturally over sensitive because everything is quite stimulating for me (noise, emotions, etc) And I tend to be pessimistic because I have been treated badly over some of my Autism traits. This seems quite unfair that I've been pre-loaded with some things that I cannot control.. however I do my best to keep my reactions healthy!

[@gucciroseii3517]

yeah i wish people wouldnt treat being sensitive as such a a negative thing that needs to be gotten rid of and fixed bc for us its just part of us :sob:

[@GerudoGirl97]

I'm also autistic, (I was diagnosed as a child), so I'm naturally very sensitive and I feel a lot of emotions on a very high level. I also agree that being sensitive isn't a bad thing at all. I can be on the defensive at times, but only because I've had people ridicule and make fun of me in the past for some of the things I do such as stimming and the way I talk, (I had speech therapy as a child due to my speech being delayed). Back onto the sensitivity, I go to alternative therapy and my therapist discovered that I'm an empath. I'm happy that I'm sensitive as it isn't in a way that I think everyone's against me. It's more me being sensitive towards people's feelings. Being an empath means I can feel others feelings and emotions as if they're my own.

[@medusablade4178]

Oh my gosh do I relate

[@zendayaadkins1118]

@@gucciroseii3517 This is so interesting because I’m autistic as well and I often get told that I’m mean or cold but never sensitive

[@angelamarie2023]

I’m also autistic. My life is so difficult because of it. I really wish I could meet someone that was compassionate about it. No one understands and some are so cruel during meltdowns. I think I’m starting to understand narcissistic people are really bad for me to be around because of my autism though. Like worse than it is for neurotypical people to be around them. However because my parents were narcissistic, it’s like that’s all I seem to draw in. I’m working on boundaries and being ok with being alone, but it’s getting lonely and I do wish more people understood what I struggle with.

[@IronWolfArts]

I so t think being oversensitive is a trait only tied to toxic personality traits. I’m unfortunately very sensitive in many areas but it stems from PTSD after years of abuse in my childhood, not just being ridiculed or talked down too. The problem is I am 100% aware of when I feel this way and know that the reaction and emotions I feel can be blown out of proportion. However, It’s almost impossible for me to actually control it, no matter how much I’m aware that it’s something silly to actually get defensive over. I’ve been trying to control this through years of therapy. I believe it’s toxic if you are unaware of yourself doing this and have the capability of taking steps yourself into altering the behavior. But I believe it’s not “toxic personality trait” if it’s a trait you’re psychologically unable to break away from even though you are 100% logically aware of it and wish to break away from it. 😔 That’s just having PTSD mixed with other mental illnesses (ADHD, ASD, clinical anxiety, depression) that create a train wreck of struggling to function while trying to be a good person at the same time.

[@Shadders2010]

You cant divide the people you know into categories of 'Toxic' and 'Non-Toxic.'

[@KCUFyoufordoxingme]

Women and sociopathic men do. Don't love the person, just what you get from them.

[@kayeowens4394]

My friend and I have clashing mental illnesses but we’re determined to not let it get between us. So we’re starting to research self improvement/educational stuff surround each others struggles and share It together at the end of the month! So we both know we’re putting effort into ourselves and avoiding having the same fights over and over.

[@user-df3kp9nn7b]

I wish my friend would do this. What kept you invested in working it out rather than calling it quits?

[@kayeowens4394]

@@user-df3kp9nn7b we were exes, and survived that much! I know that they’re more than their issues because I’ve proven to be more than mine. Besides, I learn something new about their struggle every day. It isn’t easy to feel evil and incapable of change, or to feel completely misunderstood.

[@mmcc4517]

You and your friend are awesome! That is true love to yourselves and each other. And I bet your improvements help other people in your life feel better, too! Thanks for sharing. This is so inspiring.

[@bulletsfordinner8307]

That's the sweetest thing!

[@Florian78]

All the best to you both.

[@FMeister94]

This animator is a keeper, the animation is so fluid and pretty.

[@Psych2go]

Aww, thank you so much!! Is this your favorite animation so far? :)

[@FMeister94]

@@Psych2go I couldn’t pick any there are dozens of animations that are all great in their own ways and this is one of them

[@neoisweird]

2:23 OMFG STEVEN UNIVERSE REFRENCE I LOVE THAT SHOW

[@biscuit8998]

My toxic side feels attacked right now.

[@Cissoftex347]

A long time ago I realized I was unintentionally toxic so I told my friends about it it really helped now I’m my old nice self again! Thank you for showing this video so it can help others in need.

[@sushih3302]

oh... how did you gain the courage to do so? I hope I can gain the courage to do so one day

[@aiiiia9971]

That's such a good thing to hear! Thanks for sharing this and showing there is a light at the end of the tunnel ☺

[@ronnie2820]

So glad! Could you give some tips? I really want to become a better person :(

[@Ultimabuster92]

"Surround yourself with 'positive' people" is like saying "just be happy", i feel like. I mean, we WOULD if it were that easy. But in some cases, it's not so easy, IF possible at all. 'positive' people don't just grow on trees. I mean, it is a valid advice, i think, but not thaaat helpful

[@wayneshobbygallery]

It's true. It was never easy, depends on one's own luck.

[@soomi5667]

I think that line was supposed to mean to surround yourself with people who are supportive. Who will be positive to your life. At least that’s what I got from it.

[@razzy6728]

Bro I try to be positive and happy despite my insides, but it's so hard when everyone around you drags you down. I don't want to change, but I don't want to exist like this...

[@Ultimabuster92]

@@razzy6728 Why don't you want to change? Fact is, you can't change other people or the way they treat you. All you can do, is change yourself and give it your all. That way people will treat you differently all by themself. I was bullied at school, always an outcast, even my closest "friends" were embarassed to hang out with me, so they distanced themselves from me over time. Were they at fault? Maybe, but i wasn't completely blameless either. Always keeping quiet and accepting the bullying. So, one day, i started to talk and fight back. That didn't help immediately, but i gained confidence in myself and build it up further and further. Now, i speak my mind, every time i feel wronged and i started to tell people how i really think about them, be it something good or something bad. That way i gained true friends and even my family treats me differently now, in a good way. You can always give up on improving yourself, but don't expect anything for you to change, in that case. If you stand by and let it happen, you accepted it and then, at least in my eyes, you have no right to complain. I know, these are harsh words, but you are the only one who can change your situation.

[@Ray-op7xc]

Omg yeah, especially since if I'm already negative I will naturally attract more negative people since we'll click, but talking to positive people will usually feel strained and weird and you wint feel a good connection. (This is very simplified but do y'all know what I mean?)

[@theovernight1915]

I was raised by an incredibly toxic adult child and had a LOT of bad habits instilled from early on. I have to work hard not to be the person that perpetuates that behavior so... checking things like this to see if I've got a habit I'm not even aware of, or have been slipping with, is helpful! As I'm watching this video, I see that pretty much all of these things were something I did when I was younger that I now try to avoid.

[@charnaycromwell2540]

Thank you for the video. But truth be told everyone has “toxic” moments and “toxic”. I feel this word can get overused at times for good people are struggling with trauma, self esteem, insecurities, and/or a whirlwind of emotions. Despite trying the best they can, some do not have the will, know how, or reasoning as to where to begin to heal themselves. Recognizing it is only part of the battle, identifying the root causes, working through how it has affected you, and fighting to improve upon oneself is an even more daunting task. And the scary part is these things are not overnight fixes. I hope you guys stay healthy and happy.

[@burnt_cheetoes13]

I’ve always had problems with this and got scared when one of my friends called me “toxic” once and didn’t hang out with me anymore when I didn’t mean to act toxic, but I’m glad to watch this video cause it helped me understand myself a bit. Thank you.

[@cupidpinoi2k1]

Wow this is my whole childhood until my late 20s I can still remember trying so hard to be liked. As an adult I'm getting better with trying to get validation through myself but I still find myself falling into old habits, especially when confronted with stress.

[@jwnknnr]

ESPECIALLY WHEN CONFRONTED WITH STRESS!

[@art_games_and_writing9778]

The first two hit close to home... I have recently been trying really hard to better myself, but sometimes I can't tell if what I'm doing is toxic or not. This video really helped me to see some of the faults I'm still making

[@Cute_Charlotte]

The last four ones hit me hard. But I'm already aware of my low self-esteem, and I'm working on it. This video helped me see things in a different and positive way. Thanks ❤️

[@erikthechosenone]

*3:51* I absolutely *LOVE* this animation rn!

[@Psych2go]

Thank you so much :) Would you like to see more of this animation?

[@erikthechosenone]

@@Psych2go YES PLEASE 🥺🤍

[@akidmuzaffar]

Because Adventure Time 😄

[@erikthechosenone]

@@akidmuzaffar Always and Forever for Adventure Time!🥹🤍🫶🏾😫

[@priyankamallavoolu3227]

I love how this channel used many relatable cartoon characters who went through these things which makes it clearer for people who don't know how people act. Like the part with Steven universe. It was amazing how they used amethyst as an example

[@susanafondon4967]

I really enjoyed this video: straight to the point, loads of non-judgemental information & practical advice. Keep them coming! ( I loved it when the narrator asked a question and the animated character said "yes" 😊 ) Bibliography at the end a real bonus!

[@Mrskirtikiran]

I've been an extreme case of people pleaser, and that is the reason for me being toxic without any wrong intention... Working on myself and psych to go is a great help 😇

[@Wolfette-gl8vl]

This video reminds me of my younger self when I first gained internet friends. I remember that after a while my closest friends then broke up with me from me being so unintentionally toxic like this. I relate to this unfortunately in every single way. And while I'm past that situation I'm still trying to improve myself. Thanks Psych2Go for this video. Its a great one.

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for watching! How are you doing now?

[@Wolfette-gl8vl]

@@Psych2go I’m doing better than I was back then but I’m still trying to improve myself one step at a time.

[@ct6852]

I come off bad in chat rooms sometimes and I really don't know why. Something about that environment...

[@mr.hidden9242]

#4, 5, and 6 because of low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. All my life has been like this.

[@chaosstudios2224]

I had to watch two of these, and I can tell that this would have been me before I had some sort of wake up call in middle school. I’m glad I was able to grow out of it, and I’m happy to say it’s possible to overcome these traits. Best of luck to anyone struggling with these traits, your going in the right direction by recognizing the damage your causing to yourself and others. The next step, (Atleast it was for me,a it may vary from person to person) Is to put an effort into stepping aside, and recognizing that other people also want to be helped, listened to and don’t deserve to be blamed for something that wasn’t fully their fault. Some problems are bound to stick around, but accepting them, and not letting them hurt others may be as close as you can get, and that’s okay.

[@darkedlight8319]

just the fact that you are watching this video is a step on self reflection, Great start!

[@foxyloon]

Many of those signs, like being defensive, overly sensitive, seeking validation from others, I've overcome those by working on improving my self-esteem. I've learned to be accepting of who and what I am, and I no longer need the opinions and validations of others in order to feel better about myself. True acceptance of oneself comes from within. Also, being pessimistic took a ton of mental re-training on my part, due to having that mindset for so long that it became a habit. That is the method of overcoming it, though. Every time a pessimistic thought comes up, try to re-frame it in a more positive way. Eventually, the positive thoughts will be the default instead. I'm not perfect, though. I still do over-promise from time to time, since I don't want to disappoint someone by saying "no". Every time, when I'm overwhelmed and drop the ball, they end up disappointed anyways. It's best to take into account if you're able to do so, and being able to say "no" if necessary. I've also used the pity card many times, but have since grown to just simply ask for help instead. Usually people are happy to help, versus being reluctantly manipulated to help instead. One is a much more positive energy, versus the pity card coming from a source of negativity.

[@SubShadow818]

What are some of the things you done to make such progress i tried a bunch of stuff I learned from therapy and it hasn't worked

[@foxyloon]

@@SubShadow818 Don't feel discouraged if they don't work immediately. It takes time and dedication to change your habits, and will take multiple tries before it starts working. If you saw a friend or family member struggling with the same problems, would you be impatient and short with them for not grasping it immediately, or patient and supportive as they keep trying? Look at yourself with the same compassion.

[@carpathianken]

What really helped me with tuning my pessimistic outlook in to the other end of the spectrum was polluting my mind with online overcoming adversity quotes & positive thinking quotes. They're often only a line or two long but they are incredibly empowering.When I started to realise that they're muting out those negative & pessimistic thought habits that I had I'd read more & more of them & if on days I felt a few of those old negative thoughts raising their ugly heads again I replaced them with fresh new positive quotes to occupy my consciousness

[@thespicyelixr6021]

I love how this channel does easter eggs. Its like fun for everyone🤗

[@StarryRoses]

This has been on my mind a lot. I'm glad someone made a video about it.

[@IceBeamTetsuno]

I'm glad to say that some of these things were issues I had but over time I've gotten so much better with checking myself that I either don't do them anymore or it's extremely rare that I would.

[@soulstararts]

The sunflower 🌻 from plants 🆚 zombies is so cute 🥰! 2:03

[@samschoneveld9253]

Conclusion: The word toxic gets used for everything and therefore everyone is "toxic" sometimes. I thought being toxic specifically meant that you knew you acted in a way that you shouldn't. This video shows me how "being toxic" is something someone else thinks of you. Therefore everyone can be called toxic sometimes. It's not up to the person itself, but to the people around them to say if they are toxic. If your surroundings think you're okay you are. If they think you're not, you'll pay the price, which btw is toxic in itself thereby making everyone toxic. I start to see why there is so much toxicity in the world and why there's even more people talking about toxicity. It has become a hype and it seems to be making this world more toxic. This seems to be caused by negative focus. People seem to want others to be toxic. Maybe so they feel better about themselves. Which also is toxic btw. The more you look at it the more you see almost everything is toxic from at least some point of view.

[@mayteblass4031]

Toxicity in this regard has to do with how you CONSISTENTLY negatively impact yourself or others. Intent is not always a factor. Yes, because of that vague definition, anyone can deem anyone else toxic and the word gets thrown around like so many other terms that carry heavy nuance. It really can become a terrible cycle though. Because, yes, even if you're toxic towards someone doesn't mean they aren't toxic towards you too. And in cases like those it starts to turn into abuse if it goes unchecked. It happens a lot. And I'm almost certain that's partly why this saying exists: The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Just my thoughts. *shrug.

[@samschoneveld9253]

@@mayteblass4031 thanks for your explanation! I understand😇

[@ReitannaSeishinOfficial]

i like to think that "toxic" applies to people who know they're doing it, and do it on purpose. for people who don't mean it, i just think the word "troubled" describes it better. these people need help because underlying issues and things out of human control have caused these behaviors.

[@jessicabelda7735]

Excellent point! It’s important to look at the overall behavior of a person and their intentions. And to let the little ‘toxic’ things go, if it’s still a relationship worth keeping. Also, remember to be kind to yourself, even if you make mistakes that can be considered ‘toxic’.

[@samschoneveld9253]

@@ReitannaSeishinOfficial I like this explanation a lot! I like to look at it the same way. Some people have a hard time and they need help. It's not strange to need help, because this world is chaos.

[@aprilmendoza6469]

This video is a chef’s kiss. Thank you so much for sharing I took away that I’m overly sensitive. But the suggestions you gave really felt like your someone who cares about others. Thank you for all you do and continue to do for others

[@sarawilson391]

Favoritest animation ever! Not just the topic but every cute drawing pulled my attention in and I’m glad I caught this one early. Thanks for another great episode:)

[@justaperson9444]

I've had a friend explode at me over Encanto of all things (I was just trying to express myself and tell the group chat about my thoughts about Abuella and how i like her character in that she's still forgivable despite her actions, and i kinda saw my mother in her), but she was just so adamant about me somehow being toxic for being an ableist of some sort even tho i've already accepted that she was right in that Abuella was awful for what she did, i just thought that she wasn't not irredeemable. After she blocked me over it, everyone in the friend group just stopped talking in that gc after that, cuz i guess it was just too awkward now. I really can't think of what i could have done better in that moment. I practically broke ties with everyone just cuz i was being taken the wrong way. I started assuming that there may be something wrong with me, but i just couldn't put my finger on it. There's no real point to this story, but thanks for reading if youve made it this far, i guess

[@larissabarros9793]

I guess you both saw your lifes in abuela, it was not just a character for both of you. The girl probably had someone toxic in her life and this person hurt her very bad, she saw this person on abuela and when you said that abuela was right was like saying her toxic someone was right, and that her feelings were wrong. It's not your fault you just touched the open wound.

[@lornkern3276]

*offers hugs* that wasn't okay of that former friend, and you didn't deserve that treatment. You saw lingering good in a character, while they not only focused on the negative, but attacked you for it. That speaks to the inner negativity and judgmentalness of that person. There's nothing wrong with wanting and embracing a character's redemption. There's nothing wrong with being a caring, compassionate, and forgiving person.

[@helpfulbitsandentertainment]

It sounds more like there's something wrong with your "friend"! Seeing the good or potential thereof in people is a good thing! If you have any problem at all it would be a lack of self-confidence since you're second guessing yourself.

[@luciuswalker8578]

No need to feel terrible about yourself. As long as you made it clear that you did not justify a fictional character’s rather toxic choices (sounds kind of stupid when you say it out loud, huh?), that’s all it matters, and if they’re too donkey-brained to see that, then that’s sort of a red flag that maybe you should stop hanging out with those people. Besides, if you guys decided to end your friendship over a fictional character (again, sounds pretty dumb when said out loud, yes?), then, again, that’s a red flag that maybe this relationship wasn’t meant to last.

[@luciuswalker8578]

And anyways, it sounds like that friend of yours is part of the toxic side of the fandom, so never give them the satisfaction of winning by allowing them to tear you down. Stand up for your beliefs (so long as those said beliefs aren’t actually being harmful) and if they continue being a snowflake about it, well, drink their tears and move on.

[@nataliecampos1732]

This has me written all over it, and I'm actually really happy you guys addressed it. Because, I do want to be a better person and also add more value to the world and people around me that I love and care about, and watching this video really helped.

[@totallybuggedout_]

i just got out of an argument with a “friend” who lied to me and manipulated me. they denied everything and said i was the bad person for hurting her. watching this video made me realize that i did the right thing to stand up to her, because she has every single trait on this list. i hope that she can find this video as well and become a better person.

[@hipstersoulgushers5997]

this made it really clear what I need to work on. especially identifying that things that come from my own insecurities vs whats actually happening. this video is all those things I knew but needed to hear.

[@mochilover9522]

You guys used amethyst from steven universe 😂 2:07

[@aliyahpulido953]

And so many more! ALL my friends are here!

[@AR_Animates]

STEVEN UNIVERSE AMETHYST IN THE THUMNNAIL AAAAA THIS IS SO COOOL

[@thefitnerd9796]

this channel is incredibly healing. thank you for being here.

[@BurgerJuicy-rf5om]

Thank you for making these videos, I’m trying to become better about my own habits because I realize things have gotten out of control with the way I react to situations.

[@aeroplato1016]

I related to 3, 4, 5 & 6... and I feel awful about it.. But I'm glad you made this video, Psych2go; this will help me remember daily of how I'm gonna fix these problems that I'm having... Thank you very much, Psych2go for showing me issues that I didn't knew until now, and Especially for giving possible solutions 🙂 Also, if you don't mind, I'd like to show this video to my psychologist on this thursday :)

[@TitaniumTronic]

Same here, did all except 1 and 2, but I feel like that's just a low self esteem and social anxiety....

[@Psych2go]

You are very strong for recognizing your own problems and improving yourself!

[@brookiecookie4352]

@@TitaniumTronic Yeah I think so too. I believe it coincides with eachother tho.

[@calgoulden8223]

imagine thinking you're so importannt that a creator with 9m subs would need your permission for something.... jesus christ get a grip and humble yourself

[@Raven_shifter]

In the light of the day In the dark of the night When you're raring to go When you're tired from the fight When you're losing your mind Let me give you a thought I'm gonna be right by your side no matter what

[@lbschangemylife]

Those last 3 hit me in the feels lol

[@Sucker4Mitski]

fr :/

[@shayflowers8471]

I relate with 4 & 6. But have had friends who showed other signs. This video is made skillfully & with so much caring & kindness without pinpointing harshly on viewers. Thank you ❤️

[@thomasmurrell9832]

Aside from number 1, I found myself saying yes to the whole list. I'm glad I found this video and I genuinely believe anyone who's watching this is either subscribed, or here just like me: they fear that they're the toxic one in a damaged relationship. But the thing is: We usually never intend to be that, so finding these things as stuff we've done is a great first step to realizing that we were hurtful, even with good intentions. To others put there like me, we can fix it. We just have to take time, study ourselves and figure out how to fix issues we have.

[@spencerdragon7334]

I appreciate this video so much! I've been struggling with a lot of things mentioned. I have bad relationship anxiety and it causes me to be clingy and rely on my partner for validation. I am trying to be better and now that I know I could ask myself questions on why I feel this way it really helps.

[@ignacioartaud]

When I got to the "every part of you is beautiful, every part of you is important" part at the end of the video I started tearing up HARD. You don't know how much you needed some words till they appear. Bless this channel.

[@DanSteakMan]

I relate to the sensitivity part and during those times I notice that I over think mainly in a negative way about the interaction, the other person and myself. Plus I saw the Naruto poster and painting , and usually after those times I, ve binge watch 3-6 episodes of Naruto, Thank you for this it helps me have things to go over with my therapist 🙂

[@unknowncreator5901]

5:04😂 ❣️I love the face animations on this part

[@merediththomas501]

I'm overly sensitive, pessimistic, and need validation. Part of it is due to abuse. They should do one on old souls. An old soul is a lonely soul.

[@siennaprice1351]

They did

[@crownagex5687]

do u want to find some help somewhere

[@tiolim9999]

1. More promises than you can keep 2. Using pity to get attention/help 3. Being defensive - victimising yourself 4. Overly sensitive - need a response to everything 5. Too pessimistic 6. Rely on others for validation

[@DrayGon777]

Wow! I relate to almost all of those while borderline being close to being pessimistic. I think work has made me more tending towards a pessimist, but I am fairly certain the others have been issues I've had most of my life. I have a friend that's been helping me notice these things, but trying to change hasn't been as easy as it seems it should be.

[@Thephoenix13]

Just so everyone knows. You’re worthy, you’re brave and you’re beautiful

[@upbestsalt1551]

That's cap for me

[@fangsinator8945]

3:43 I used to be optimistic as a kid, but as an adult, there's a lot more problems, it's hard to live in the present when the past was better, I got cheated on twice, my friend decided to fk my life up and took my gf, everytime I feel like my life's getting better, there's something worst that is happening

[@ludwik_213]

According to this video, i'm not toxic. But, I have a girlfriend, and i'm constantly afraid of doing something wrong, a little mistake, bad enough to ruin our relationship. Thanks to this channel, i'm learning how to deal with my own issues and her insecurities, i want to make her feel confident about herself, and to trust me to help her in anything she would need me to.

[@tinytsun]

Duude that last one immediately made think about my stories. Every writer loves to see and appreciates the comments they get from readers but over time I just became so wrapped up in views and coming up with ways to stand out and get positive reactions that when I don't get them I start to second guess the good ideas I come up with, each chapter, and it often makes me feel like I'm wasting my time.

[@Ghost-ce9tw]

I've been worried that I might be toxic, but after watching this video I realized I'm not so that's very relieving.

[@holyheckles5855]

This video was super informative! I was afraid that I was toxic, but looking at this video reassured me that I'm mostly not. Of course, I still see some aspects that need to be worked on. Also, I loved all the references to the CN characters, and I love this art style!! I have a black and white filter on my phone during the night to try and help me get to sleep but I looked at the thumbnail and was all like "hey, that kinda reminds me of Amethyst..." and sure enough, I was pleasantly surprised to find I was right! Sorry for the ramble, y'all are awesome; keep up the great work!

[@vapce]

when I was younger, I was so sensitive to the point that I caused misunderstandings that were never resolved, even now I try to forget these situations from when I was a child, but one thing is important: I fixed that bad trait, I do things which i love and i never think anyone is against my opinion (or attacking me lol)

[@_acorn.c0z_]

i *am* overly sensitive, but that’s literally just part of who i am. i’m not “always on the defensive” and i do indulge myself in self care. i don’t see how being sensitive is toxic when it is literally something i cannot control.

[@laurlaurmarmar7697]

It’s not. The video and channel is chock full of neurotypical, overly simplified pop psychology that doesn’t take nuances into account. It’s why I unsubscribed.