6 Ways Mother Wounds Manifest + Impact Your Life - Terri Cole

[@terri_cole]

Which archetype resonated the most with you? Do you think you have a mother wound? Download the free guide here: www.terricole.com/6-ways-mother-wounds-manifest-guide and check out the course here: terricole.com/motherwound

[@lynnglass575]

I have a mother who ticked every single box and it affects every single area and relationship in your life so glad terry is helping us all heal

[@itsmeaimster6698]

The Perfectionist is my mom. To the point that she’d be like “What will people think? What will the neighbors think? What will the people at church think?” It has always been a constant worry for her. I had terrible self esteem and anxiety from never reaching her high standards. I keep my distance now, especially emotionally. I’m “choosing me” now. ❤

[@terri_cole]

I am so sorry you experienced that ❤️ Love that you are choosing yourself now! 🙌

[@KA-mq4wj]

That’s also my narc mother. She didn’t report crimes that were committed against her children including me because it would ruin her image. I suffered silently for decades because she didn’t call the police. She never called the police…. I wasn’t worthy

[@ppll7020]

Her brother molested her niece, she was 6, he was 21. She told that little girl not to tell anyone. I was there when that cousin cried out loud and told her about that incident. No hugging, no comforting, no nothing. So cold. The next day she acted like nothing happened. That cousin grew up to be the mess!! Sadly.​@@KA-mq4wj

[@ppll7020]

I can resonate deeply. I used to ask her why care so much what others think? She slapped me. I grew up to be the perfectionist like her. I was terrible of what others would think of me. 4 years in therapy I could get rid of that trait. I no contact for years too. Now I don't care what people think , not a bit. It's my life. 🎉

[@princesslizzie64]

I am pretty sure I have a mother wound, I have always been the mother to my mother and she was never there for me emotionally when I needed her and was very critical. I learnt to be tough but the down side is I shut people out and the hardest part is understanding why a mother does that to her child 🤔😢

[@ultravioletpisces3666]

My mom was very critical and anxious… but I never realized that she was probably a perfectionist and critical of herself as well. My mom has been gone for 13 years and tbh… I forget a lot of the negative behaviors because you know, we think about people differently when they die. But this gave me a lot of insight into myself as well as my mother. It never occurred to me that I might be a perfectionist (at least in part) because my mom was so critical and anxious. “Feeling like you can never get it right” is so true. “It can really squash your desire to go for your dreams.

[@terri_cole]

Thank you for sharing that takeaway with us ❤️

[@DeeLeon7]

Hello, I'm Dee in UK. I'm autistic, 54 & terrified of Mum. Almost to the point of vomiting. Autism intensifies the senses. My clinical diagnosis of autism states I'm even more vulnerable. I find you a safe, feminine, intelligent, caring woman and what you say is helpful. A lot of what you say is giving me anxiety, I'm persevering as you are spot on.

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with so much compassion, Dee ❤️

[@thandozuma8740]

I think forgiving was the easiest part for me, healing not so easy. All I am left with now is fear of intimacy, not taking care of my self properly, depression, anxiety, lack of boundaries, hyper independence, perfectionism . Disorganized Attachment, fear of vulnerability. Unstable relationships. 😩 And yearning for maternal love I never received in childhood and this yearning for martenal love cause a lot of shame. Nothing is cute at all with having a mother wound 😩

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending love ❤️❤️

[@annlea137]

Thank you so much for helping us understand. My mother was never available growing up. I love her but I'm emotionally damaged because of it but getting better. Thank you again for all your work. God Bless you and your family.🙏❤️‍🩹

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with compassion 💕

[@melissaczap3739]

I found you randomly and I'm glad I did. I grew up being gaslighted by my mom, and so much more and I feel empty and sad for what could have been and I am in therapy and working through stuff, I find your videos comforting ❣️

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending you love 💕 I'm glad my videos can provide comfort for you!

[@Martty_4]

My father was an alcoholic and my mother had no family as she was adopted by horrible adoptive parents so she made me her free therapist. She was only physically abusive with me not my sister. She had many affairs with other men because my father was mostly absent. At 40 I confronted her and she takes no accountability. She also passed remarks on my appearance. She wasn't great but always guilts us saying she took all the sacrifices. I really pray to God I have a reincarnation so my next life is filled with fulfilment and loving people around

[@terri_cole]

I am so sorry you had those experiences with your mother and am witnessing you with compassion ❤️

[@Martty_4]

@@terri_cole thank u Terri Ur gift to many especially young women🎆🎇✨

[@terri_cole]

💕

[@tmreaves1]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I do understand the want you have for reincarnation for the love and care of good parents.

[@InfiniteMindset99]

Dynamic Terri! You are right, we may minimize and not acknowledge the neglect because it was so well hidden as by a covert narcissist. I was shocked when a therapist a decade ago told me my mother neglected me. I wouldn’t believe it for several years.

[@terri_cole]

Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@janetdillon45]

My mom was severe bi polar and I became the parent. My dad was was weekend alcoholic and home trashed by smashing things in the home when he got home from the pub. I have a mother wound 6 out of 7 and. Dad wound well. I am doing well however a lot of self help. Thank you Terri

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with compassion, Janet ❤️ and glad to hear you are doing well and putting yourself first!

[@princesslizzie64]

Thank you I do believe I have a mother wound and am trying hard to heal. The hardest part is understanding why a mother treats her child the way she does but your videos are so incite full and are helping understand it's not me. I have had no contact with my mother for over 18 months and she lives across the road, not for much longer now though as I'm moving away.

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ I'm glad these videos have been helpful!

[@linedezainde]

Mothers are often imperfect, as unfortunately, society puts all the pressure to "succeed" on them, as if they had a doctorate degree in child raising... we don't talk about dad and society very much. The question perhaps is: why does it all belong to mom?

[@terri_cole]

Yes! Mothers are put into a difficult place when our society both worships and diminishes them.

[@marvellousmartha07]

I had an exhausted mother. I was babysitting siblings from age 6 .. TY for this..

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with compassion 💕 I have a video on parentified children that goes deeper into the role reversal (in case it helps): kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZLaeZxsfpt7j5o

[@gregariasanchez1801]

Creo que los arquetipos 1,2,3,4 y 7. Llena casi todas las categorías. Y en mi caso,, también arrastro las consecuencias, aunque las he trabajado mucho con Al-Anon, aún tengo situaciones qué superar. Lo último y muy doloroso pero aliviador al final, fue separarme en contacto casi cero de ella. Así he podido sanar viejas heridas.que se siguen manifestando.de diversas maneras. Lo que amo es que soy una mamá tan diferente a la que tuve! Estoy orgullosa de ello.

[@terri_cole]

Amazing, Gregaria 🙌 Breaking the cycle and becoming mindful about it is absolutely something to be proud of. ❤️

[@marilynoverton8142]

Thank you so much, Terri! Such great information! Blessings to you.

[@terri_cole]

You are so welcome, Marilyn ❤️

[@gabriellaarango9100]

Thank you !!!! Terri❣️🌸 Excellent presentation , enjoyed it a ton , the more I learn … the more I understand … to help organize the puzzle, the lighter I feel and a what a great feeling that is !!!🥰

[@terri_cole]

🙌🙌🙌

[@taylornj8582]

Hello! New sub! My neice and nephew STRUGGLE with their mom, my sister.. this was super impactful and eye opening.. they are 26 now.. such a long road with her.. I forwarded this to them. THANK YOU! ❤

[@terri_cole]

Well hello and welcome! Thank you for spreading the word ❤️

[@adhdsuperpowers1257]

Amazing Teri, thank you ❤

[@terri_cole]

❤️

[@richardyeo9332]

Fabulous!

[@pamwatkins4855]

Wonderful teaching, thanks, found something else helpful another time, appreciated

[@terri_cole]

So glad it was helpful for you 💕

[@SlippyLu]

I recognized my mom in 4 out of the 6 ways (and unfortunately, the unhealthy first 4 ones). I've done psychotherapy and always addressed these issues, but was told each time that I should focus on my other, personal issues (finishing a degree, choosing a career). I felt misunderstood bc the unhealthy relationship with my mom continued to have an impact on me whilst trying to solve those issues. The effects have crippled me on the journey repeatedly. So when I saw your program, I thought this is it! I really want clarity and tools on how to deal with such a parent, so I can heal and overcome that gaping wound. While reading through the content though, I started feeling a lot of pain - is this a sign of the wound? Or might that be a sign I'm not ready for it? Unfortunately, I also have a father wound (left us when I was 7 yo, he's been emotionally unavailable and in many ways unsupportive yet very demanding all my life, and 2 yrs ago, he stopped talking to me when I started speaking up about it). Is the course also a good idea when I have two wounds? Due to my dad's end of contact, I have enough distance there, and I've also been gradually distancing from my mom as well, despite her continued and desperate attempts at luring me back into her system, so I feel like I have more space now to really look at the patterns and what it has done to me. I want to be strong and resist her manipulative attempts without feeling so confused and like a complete asshole every time.

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ Without knowing more, I would say this program is not a substitute for therapy, but can be a powerful complement to it. (And I am so sorry to hear your therapist brushed aside your concerns with the mother wound.) If you have painful past trauma that has not been treated and that negatively impacts your life and relationships, this course is not appropriate for you. I would suggest you seek ongoing treatment from a professional trauma therapist to heal your trauma. There are some parallels between the mother and father wound (I have a father wound workshop here: www.terricole.com/fatherwound/). Going through the content might feel overwhelming in different ways- overwhelm happens when you do something different. There are many unknowns and as humans, we have a natural and primitive aversion to the unknown. If you have been carrying the weight of a mother wound around for your entire life...that, too, leads to being overwhelmed. I cannot say what is right for you, but we hold space for pain and grief inside the course because those are very real. ❤️ If you need more help, please reach out to support @ terricole.com (without the spaces) so my team can assist you. We're always on top of emails!

[@Summer_Harvest]

This resonates, Thank you Terri. ❤️‍🩹

[@terri_cole]

❤️❤️❤️

[@Olivia_G88]

I definitely want to join the Mother wound workshop. Thank you explaining the archetypes, is it possible for a mother to have mix with one predominant type? And do you believe that you can have, in a way, more than one mother wound or really a mother wound caused by more than one person? I ask because one of my aunts was around all the time and constantly criticizing my siblings and I and telling us that we were good for nothing. Thank you as always for what you do!

[@terri_cole]

Absolutely- we can have multiple wounds, and sometimes, these are generational and systemic. If any caregivers who were around the most were not attuned to your needs, that can create a wound. Traits between archetypes can overlap, too. 💕

[@cherylleezack1260]

Thank you for your insights. I find your work amazing and it brings a grrat awareness to what I need to take responsibility for and what belongs to others ❤

[@terri_cole]

❤️❤️❤️

[@cherylleezack1260]

@@terri_cole i also noted that I resonated with a few archetypes abd I could quite easily blame my Mother but then she could blame hers and so on... I felt it important to identify but not blame as often these are generational patterns and also akin to the social norms of parenting at the given times

[@janette499]

Thank you for this 🙏 recently with therapy I finally put my own mother wound into words and now I just have to do the work, I’m broke right now but that course is definitely next on my list ❤

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️ The course will be available (without the live Q&A component) after this round, so it will be there when you're ready.

[@lindagross1288]

Hi Terri, This topic really hit me - I thought I healed most of my mother wound. Once again, you amazing insight and professional understanding of each type of parental wound was interesting. 2 of the 7 seem to fit. I am now trying to decide if I would reallt benefit from enrolling in the course.thank you again for explaining my co-dependency and low self esteem issues.

[@terri_cole]

I am so glad it resonated, Linda ❤️ You can always reach out to Team TC (support @ terricole.com) with any questions to clarify if you'd benefit from the course.

[@ilenehernandez1789]

My first time watching. Nice to meet you Terri I'm Ilene

[@terri_cole]

Well hello and welcome to my channel, Ilene! Thanks for being here ❤️

[@tmreaves1]

My life has been tremendously affected by my mother dying when I was a baby and my maternal grandmother raising me. My grandmother was very uncaring to me. I constantly look for that caring loving connection in my relationships and friendships. I am very clingy and needy. My attachment style is definitely anxious attached.

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending love ❤️

[@tmreaves1]

@@terri_cole thank you

[@jennyjones7987]

Hi Terri! I love your channel and I'm so glad it popped up in my feed. You put things into perspective that I have trouble doing. I feel like there is someone on my side and explains everything I cannot! Thanks so much for this informative post and channel. It really seems to make me feel better.❤

[@terri_cole]

I am so happy to hear it, Jenny ❤️

[@DonkeyMom]

Please do the course again!!!

[@terri_cole]

You can still take the course! All of the core lessons are pre-recorded and available on-demand. There are workbooks and guided meditations as well. There are no more live Q&A calls scheduled, but you can watch the ones that happened earlier this year and still get the benefit of hearing other people's questions get answered. ❤️

[@gigicolada]

My mom was very emotionally available… to her husband of the year (she had 5). I feel as though the adults fought so much that the kids were sort of left behind emotionally. All the oxygen in the house was taken up. I never wanted to add on to her stress when I knew how awful her marriages were. Looking back, I see how immature and codependent she was and I try so hard not to judge, but being a new mom myself it’s a hard realization that we kids weren’t enough for her to grow up. She’s all alone now with two of us being NC and me being LC. I feel sad for her. I know it wasn’t easy for her. It wasn’t always easy for us either.

[@terri_cole]

Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@muamashaal]

I really like the info in this video. Do you happen to have a video about how to have a healthy relationship with your mother?

[@terri_cole]

There are a lot of videos on my channel about setting boundaries to strengthen your relationships. I don't have a specific one on mothers, but I do have one with parents in general: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pZPHqoeLjtB6prM This video also goes into detail on what a healthy family looks like: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mX-QlJp6j7iHgtU I hope those help!

[@MR-xq7vs]

Hello Terri & community! I'm new to your channel and being glad that I found it. Gosh..so many interesting topics to listen to, correct, learn and grow.. (?!) Thank you! 💆🐌😊

[@terri_cole]

Well hello and welcome! Thank you for being here. ❤️

[@focusrelentlessly8829]

Could you please do the father wound?

[@terri_cole]

I have a workshop on healing the father wound here: www.terricole.com/fatherwound/ ❤️

[@saraheshetu6385]

I have so many child hood things that I've been through that I didn't think that impacted me I never been to a therapist I've listened to alot of people the past few months not sure hoe I found u but almost all your videos relate to me my marriage is on a thin line I don't want to lose him but I don't see him trying he's calling me a narcissist but I don't see that at all in me I fill like he doesn't take blame for anything always pointing fingers at me. He doesn't try to fix are marriage 😢

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with compassion 💕 So much from our childhood can have a lasting impact on us. If you experienced any type of neglect, this video may shed more light on that: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fXfCY2d4g8mFaNE

[@hyperskygirl]

I remember the 3 of us kids cooking and cleaning and taking care of ourselves and her. Mostly cause she had a hangover again 😢

[@terri_cole]

That must have been so painful ❤️

[@halimashealing]

Is it possible to have your mother be all of the archetypes except for the good enough one? I somehow managed to luck out and get a mother with all of the things wrong with her, which she passed all of the pain and shame down and tried to put it on me.

[@terri_cole]

Yes, it's possible to have a mix- mother wounds come in all types. I am witnessing you with compassion 💕

[@OliviaCheng-m3x]

My mom is a narcissist. She wasn’t abusive, but she is self-critical and toxic. I’ve been setting boundaries seeing her less. Am I obligated to take her out for her birthday and Mother’s Day every year. I never look forward to her birthday or Mother’s Day. I don’t love my mom and she’s very toxic. I feel sense of a relief if she wasn’t here anymore.

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with compassion. I understand feeling obligated to take her out on her birthday and Mother's day, but I also think you have a right to not spend time with her if it negatively impacts your mental health. ❤️

[@OliviaCheng-m3x]

Terri! Thank you for responding. We have the right to protect ourselves and not see our moms if it affects our mental health negatively. But how do I tell my mom that I don’t want to celebrate my mother’s birthday or Mother’s Day with her? What is the strategy?

[@taniagil3122]

What about a mother wound that was always present but not available due to father being a niasurist ?

[@terri_cole]

I am not sure what your question is, but it is possible to have a mother wound if your maternal impactor was not attuned to your needs or not present, regardless of the reasons why ❤️

[@zin6730]

My mother used to beat and berate us a lot in childhood.

[@terri_cole]

I am so sorry to hear that ❤️

[@happygoluckystar8069]

Och, my….. and what if one has experience of 4-5 wounds types at the same time? 😢

[@terri_cole]

It is possible, everyone has their own sort of 'flavor' of mother wound. I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️

[@vasantipunchoo3699]

How to manage the hurt caused by adult children to mums

[@terri_cole]

I am so sorry you're experiencing this 💕 That topic isn't my area of expertise, but if therapy is accessible to you, I would suggest unpacking your experiences with a trusted professional.

[@danadolores9557]

Oh yes..was a lot of her and dad relation with.....was like 10vyears ild and she told me that dad its cheeting her..manny manny times....now dad is gone..she continues with some bad issues..she can yell..talk abuzive and take decisions that could be for both of us...she is very old..she is very religios..with sin in her head often...and talk like I am responsable for her..even I take care of her house too..living with her from 3 years...and doing things in my house too..she doesnt forget to remaind me that I dont do as much as it needs...sometimes I am overwelmed in doings...and become anxios..manipulative....and judging some issues about my opinions..so....I am not a victim.. Its ok..but i feel i cannot tell her about boundaries cos she become instantly agressive in words

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️

[@danadolores9557]

@@terri_cole 😘