7 Time-Sucks that Should be Illegal in Games

We love spending our time playing games, but sometimes they don't appreciate that time we put into them...! These time-wasting problems should be illegal!
---
Official Merch Store! teespring.com/stores/outside-...
Become a member of Outside Xtra! / @outsidextra
Outside Xtra is a companion channel to Outside Xbox, covering the wider world of gaming with weekly lists, Let's Plays and shows with your hosts Ellen and Luke. Look for regular appearances by OG Outside Xboxers Andy, Jane and Mike, and generally more of the videos you love, about more of the platforms you enjoy, from a team now two people larger overall.
Thanks for watching and be excellent to each other in the comments.
Find us at www.outsidextra.com
Subscribe to us at / outsidextra
Like us on Facebook at / outsidextra
Follow us on Twitter at / outsidextra

[@outsidextra]

Urrrrrghhhhhh, come oooonnnnn! Why is this NPC so slooooow? And why do we have to start from ALL the way back here if we die? Do we HAVE to go through all these things again?? Please, games! We don't have time for this!

[@maxvel0city906]

One thing I do always have time for is watching excellent Outside Xtra videos. Thanks Luke and Ellen.👍💜😀 I really appreciate all the hard work and effort you put into these videos.

[@wouldanyonelikeanytoast5171]

Can we include “escort quests” in this video. At least make the person/object/other we have to escort useful if attacked. I’m excluding the fact that in resident evil 4 you can unlock a suit of armour for Ashley which means the cultists can’t carry her off as its hilarious when Leon catches her and hurts his back, until that point, it’s annoying

[@LocalMaple]

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone on PC. I had no health after fighting the troll, and there was a nasty bludger waiting for me in the following quidditch match. I had hit the checkpoint and autosave point with that transitional cutscene, and wasn’t healed during it. I could never avoid the bludger, and always died in one hit.

[@shard7549]

When you lose all your stuff in Minecraft and either can’t find them or you fell in lava.

[@eric_moore-6126]

Except if multistage boss fights had checkpoints in the middle, you'd often either be stuck in an unbreakable death loop due to only having 1% of your health, or they'd have to fully heal you, thereby rewarding you for dieing. It's not ideal, but it does seem necessary.

[@andymcp4752]

The worst of the slow walking NPC’s are the ones that actually stop following you if you get too far away from them, instead of doing the polite thing and teleporting to me and clipping inside my face at the next loading screen door

[@coffeeaddict9605]

Bonus points where you're supposed to keep them alive and they run headfirst at any enemy.

[@calar8]

Looking at you Morrowind

[@lnsflare1]

Exception: the nun shown in the Ys 8 clip, since her standing still let's you kill the powerful charging monsters on the path ahead without endangering her.

[@gothmissstress]

😬🤣

[@jamma.77]

*Rage intensifies*

[@mooniejohnson]

I do believe "Just give me the fire rabbit and f*** off" is my new favorite sentence.

[@jbrody38]

That needs to be on a shirt

[@badd_direwolf]

I SO want this as a T-shirt! If anyone from their merch line is listening....

[@meesterpepper572]

The most honest review of Sword/Shield's story yet

[@jenitoten2212]

I don't even play that game, and I want that T! In black with red lettering please.

[@Amaritudine]

The phrase "words to live by" was created for this sentence alone.

[@ironicdutchmoonshade1394]

When the game wants you to choose a difficulty mode or decide your stats before you've even played a second of the game, then you find out you made a mistake and have to do restart and do it all over again.

[@shadowsnake5133]

Best way around it is either the ability to relocate stats/change difficulty or having preset build ideas so that you can at least get an idea of what the stats do. Dark souls actually does this well, as you can see what each class looks like, it gives you a paragraph describing it, and you can see what stats it focuses on, so you can reasonably build around it even if you're an idiot.

[@ledumpsterfire6474]

@@shadowsnake5133 Preset builds can be a double edged sword too, particularly if you have lots of skills. Elder Scrolls was an example of this, because then you have like 30 preset builds to choose from. Granted, at least Elder Scrolls skills were pretty simple/self explanatory.

[@ledumpsterfire6474]

@@shadowsnake5133 I prefer no starting build, all skills at a default zero, which is the direction I've taken my own game. I first encountered it in Wurm Online, and it made it really satisfying to max skills when you couldn't even, say in my example, saw a decent plank several months ago, and now you can build a decent house in an afternoon.

[@Tabbyclaw]

Ah yes, Kingdom Hearts. The one where half the replay value is "I'm gonna get *so much* knitting done during the cutscenes."

[@johnyshadow]

It´s how I manage to both read books and play games, at the same time. (almost)

[@toothless3835]

I actually liked to play to get to the next cut scene as possible. I was all about sora's story when I played. Im weird, I like playing to find the story. If I have to work (read item descriptions or it's not really an apparent thing) I don't really like the game. I'm weird.

[@johnyshadow]

@@toothless3835 Hey, I love lore and stories in games. (Never actually played KH, I mean other games.) But when you see the same thing over and over again, it can get frustrating.

[@Cerebrum123]

@@johnyshadow You mean you can't do that without long cutscenes?

[@negimaaddict742]

@@toothless3835 I get that. I really couldn't get into any of the souls games because of the story presentation.

[@realGeorgelucas18563]

I love how Ellen will swear her arse off at a Pokémon trainer, but keeps it PG when yelling at Yoshi and their vulnerability to lava.

[@danielribeiro1433]

nad even during dark souls streams when she dies to total BS, like heavy archers on the rafters an ludicrous map design

[@spinal_capped]

She can swear with the best of them, if her Dead Space gameplay from her personal channel is anything to go by. I could relate with that deep in my soul.

[@bustinarant]

I expected her to with O&S but no sir, it was more family friendly than that fight normally is

[@silvershadow5652]

I dont think Yoshis Island or the Mario titles are really fair, except the first one and Lost Levels, to toss into the ring when complaining about instant deaths. They actually are fairly forgiving and you are very bluntly expressly shown in the case of Lava "dont touch." Considering how many consider Mario titles baby mode for platformers I have to question whos yelling at Mario, of all games, for being unfair? The first and Lost Levels had really weird controls, but the rest of them are fairly easy to get an idea of how to move and its a skill game from then on. Now true, for something like the Soulsborne series I can see the concern as it is a legitimate issue that they are being unfair with implementation. However, with Mario 3, Super Mario World and Super Mario World 2: Yoshis Island I feel its really fair with its challenges, even if at times I do get ragey at Yoshis Island.

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

ALWAYS ditch Yoshi to save yourself! Always!

[@maxvel0city906]

Who remembers when games didn't have checkpoints at all? I say while waving my cane and complaining about how things were different back in the day.

[@SharmClucas]

They were all save points back then. Or do you mean further back when they were all *shudders* passwords?

[@maxvel0city906]

@@SharmClucas yep remember having to use passwords on Sega Mega Drive games. The PS1 was a revolution for me with it's "Memory Card"

[@DatFox89]

@@maxvel0city906 Hard NES games with no passwords were obnoxious. Especially when I found out that the Ninja Gaiden trilogy had passwords in its Japan release but they were removed for the West... because... I don't know why.

[@HovektheArtist]

@@maxvel0city906 i mean the notes sections of manuals were basically the password/cheat log, or was that just me

[@JaronActual]

@@DatFox89 Methinks you had a few encounters with TMNT, right? Or MegaMan 2 spikes. Granted, the latter did have passwords after beating the section bosses.

[@hudsonball4702]

How about GUARDING a slow moving NPC while they're under attack? Of even worse, the ones that actually run for their lives while under attack while leaving you to fend for yourself with a bunch of baddies around you that you have to kill first to catch up. And if they get too far away, RESTART!

[@BakilAskamrim]

Or they run *straight* into the enemies due to AI pathing and they die.

[@pandapounce]

Or, worse, NPCs that think they can fight, so they go berserking at any nearby enemies. Sometimes when you're already fighting!

[@sourwitch2340]

@@pandapounce especially bad if you can actually harm the NPC you're trying to protect, so they get into your way AND you might accidentally hit them while trying to take care of multiple foes at once 😮‍💨

[@MarkDeSade100]

There's one sidequest in The Witcher 3 that I've never been able to complete because the AI is so f*cking dumb. You have to help some Skellige warriors clear out a tomb that's full of undead, the kind that explode about 5 seconds after you take off all or most of their HP. I tried charging in as fast as I could and one-shotting the undead with my over-levelled Geralt before the Skelligers could join the fight, but they STILL managed to run right into the exploding monsters and die instantly. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

[@arkoudanthrope]

@@BakilAskamrim I’m trying to recall the exact details and failing, but so many, many years later I’m still traumatised by one such mission in, I think, the second Spyro game. There was this one NPC I needed to defend but they basically had a death wish and kept going to all the worst spots.

[@CthulhuianBunny]

Maybe all those tailing missions should take a page from the Sly Cooper series: They provide ample places to hide, the targets can easily be spotted (so, you won't be losing them in tall grass like the korok), and the places where you follow them have varied terrain, so you're not just running along a flat, boring street.

[@magnatcleo2043]

It's kind of weird. As much as I hate stealth in most video games, Sly Cooper's take on it is far more tolerable. It's probably just the fact that getting caught isn't an automatic death sentence, and it's relatively easy to spot where you can stand without tripping an alarm most of the time.

[@cristobalgarces1675]

I also immediately thought of Sly Cooper for the tailing missions.

[@MysteryFedoraMan]

I like how lockdown has levelled up Ellen’s narration to ‘must include bleeped out swear word’

[@JachAnen]

Dark Souls changes a person

[@adambond8542]

@@JachAnen It "darkens your soul"

[@Matthewwadesimpson]

@@adambond8542 YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH! *guitar riff*

[@kevinjohnbetts]

Dear ickle Ellen Rose has been spending time 'guesting' on Eurogamer videos. Zoe and Aoife are such bad, bad, influences.

[@CactuarKing]

She swears like someone who died to sens fortress many times and I'm proud of her

[@CaitlinRC]

WHY DO I NEED CRABS KINGDOM HEARTS 3. WHY IS MY BOAT MADE OF CRABS.

[@outsidextra]

OH GOD I FORGOT THE CRABS. WHYYYYYY

[@gruggerduggerhoose]

This type of KH logic making the players... Crabbit eh? 😅

[@CaitlinRC]

@StevieWho tbh it doesnt make much sense in context either

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

It makes....barely any sense if you watched POTC 3 beforehand. Crabs are...kinda Calypso's thing.

[@eric_moore-6126]

Perhaps this is why Door Monster has the running joke of banning crabs, that Sulaiman (Suleman? How do you spell that?) started in one of their Civ V videos.

[@Bobson_Dugnutt_Esq]

"Wiggly Ink Monsters" is my second favorite description for them. "Dollar Store Dementors" still has top spot

[@Amaritudine]

"Sure, FFVII was popular for its story and characters, but you know what would make it EVEN BETTER? Invisible time ghosts. We're onto a winner here lads!" -Verbatim transcript from the FFVII:R writers' room, probably

[@DrakeAurum]

One more to add to the list: Needlessly time-consuming shopping sprees. Either all the shops in the game are hyper-specialised and so spread out that you have to traipse all across town - even through loading zones - to visit them all if you need a variety of items, or they have extremely limited funds such that once you've filled your inventory with junk from the latest dungeon / mission you again have to schlepp around a dozen of them simply in order to sell off your hard-gotten gains. In many cases, games combine the two. Special mention for those which let you get better prices by first enhancing your character's attributes using spells, drugs and/or items, just to add an extra time-sink at the start of every transaction.

[@cliffritch7304]

In skyrim, I would say that one other aspect of the slow moving is that if you get too close to them, they stop and slowly turn around and face you and say something, slowing them down even further

[@petin13naahl]

Omg this!

[@damienedmiston3195]

Or even worse, if you're tailing them, their tracking could get wacky and they walk into the sea.

[@mik4k6]

... While they get caught in a doorway.

[@absollum]

NPCs in Skyrim love getting stuck from in the doorway you need to get through.

[@xstarsystemsx]

That priest in dawnstar that you have to follow up the mountain is my particular "favorite"...

[@steffis9806]

As a German, I give you a word for your feeling of despair and impatience, Luke: Drangsal.

[@silmarille1988]

Me as a German forgot about this word. XD

[@HovektheArtist]

@The Gaming Meta they said german not whelsh

[@onetom2222]

Hab ein neues Wort gelernt. Am Rande; wir haben echt für alles ein Wort wow

[@SorowFame]

@@Skaitania that’s a pretty good name for an evil sorcerer, has a meaning behind it as well as sounding cool.

[@luislegood68]

Ich hätte das Sprichwort : zum aus der Haut fahren gewählt

[@bethenhiemer]

Sometime slow NPCs will just appear when you get to the set location and you can leave them behind. However, the actual worst: Slow NPCs™ who are also giving you vital story information.

[@Kamakiri86]

Especially if their walk speed is between your own walk and run speed.

[@qdust12]

If you watched Jurassic park 11.7 times you'd see Denis Nedry get owned by that dinosaur a full 12 times.

[@azuarc]

I dunno, it's right about at the 70% mark. Might miss it.

[@Raguleader]

@@azuarc Just skip the credits each time from the second rewatch onward. We already know Phil Tippett supervised the dinosaurs.

[@crazyjoeshorts5256]

Or, you could just watch that scene over and over. Nothing quite like it in all of cinema. Fat bad man getting obliterated by a creature he should clearly understand is going to kill him, but he treats it like a pomeranian? He is the perfect representation of everyone in that movie; so smart and self assured until nature carves him a new orifice.

[@0ctopusComp1etely]

You could pause and skip the scene on the 12th watch, exactly at .7 of its runtime. I don't know how long it is (like, a minute?) but I'm sure someone could calculate exactly when to pause it and skip forward in the movie. No idea why anyone would do that, though.

[@thuershen]

There is somehow a lot of chaotic energy in this video xD From the double-take inducing title, to bleeped out swears, overflowing sarcasm and inspired musical replacements, it was simply *chef's kiss*

[@KasumiRINA]

This is arthouse ccinema of KZbin videos... now scuse me while I go watch the three hour documentary on why Peter Molyneux sucks.

[@the-thhorseman2484]

What about 1 minute cycles for crafting/production/refining. Too short to go away and do anything else useful either in game or IRL, but too long to sit there and wait without slowly raging-up. Cycle should be less than 10 sec, or more than 15 minutes to indicate you are supposed to go away and come back later.

[@CorwinAlexander]

Wood chopping in Skyrim

[@ericb3157]

oh, i recently rage-quit a game called "my time at portia" because it takes THAT game an HOUR to make a BRONZE BAR! and that's on TOP of having limited energy that can ONLY be replenished by sleeping, which advances the CALENDAR DAY, which affects missions...

[@steam-powereddolphin5449]

At least some games like _Bloons Monkey City_ let you finish construction, upgrade, and repair cycles instantly by spending a secondary currency like Bloonstones (which can also be earned without spending real money in this case, albeit more difficult to do so. The purchase option does exist, but it isn't necessary).

[@serenaleone722]

@@ericb3157 I know this post is old, but.... apples, apples, apples, in that game. They're your best buds in My Time At Portia til you get apple juice. They'll save your bacon on Stamina regularly. Then again, I like the grind, most of the time, so do what you will.

[@SunOnYeet]

The worst thing about slow NPCs is when that very NPC is the only one who can open the door that leads to the rest of the level

[@orlaithmcg]

Something I actually noticed about Ghost of Tsushima was that there was never a "level requirement" or anything for any area. It was really refreshing to be able to go anywhere and not worry about enemies being twenty levels higher than you. No need to grind, it was great!

[@HylianFox3]

Breath of the Wild was like this as well, with weaker enemies only being replaced by stronger enemies as you made progress.

[@heresthadude1080]

"Unskippable opening" that's why I keep the automatic save just before character creation

[@ddjsoyenby]

me: I GET IT I DON'T WANNA SIT THROUGH THIS AGAIN!

[@danielribeiro1433]

thats skips a lot of it, in skyrim it would get read of the cart ride, but we still have to do all the execution, alduin, burning helgen and going to Riverwood stuff

[@heresthadude1080]

@@danielribeiro1433 I think it's atmospheric, and you need to go through it anyway to get equipment. Otherwise you'd start off getting ganked by bandits if you're not a Khajiit or Argonian with better unarmed damage

[@nickdejager8873]

That's great if the game allows it. Many do not.

[@danielribeiro1433]

@@heresthadude1080 I totally understand that, but after knowing that intro by heart, it would be cool to at least spamm fast forward dialogue

[@johannord4778]

Outsideextra: we value your time Outsidexbox: have a 500+ playlist must watch before you die

[@lnsflare1]

That scene from Ys 8:Lacrimosa of Dana for the slow NPC is hardly fair since Sister Nia stays put if you outpace her enough, which let's you clear out powerful monsters on that path without endangering her, then she will heal you with magic when you go back to her, which makes her not being as fast as Adol a convenient mechanic for that relatively short escort mission (it's only two screens long, IIRC). Also, IIRC, on the last leg of that mission it turns out that she was explicitly being slowed down by the fact that she was running around a tropical island in an ankle-length nun's habit, so she converted it into a cute miniskirt (which she keeps for the rest of the game) after it nearly got her killed one last time, as a part of her quest goal of learning how to take initiative on her own instead of just praying for assistance, though I can't remember off the top of my head as to whether or not that translated into her having a speed boost for the rest of that mission. Of course, for reasons that would spoil another great Ys title, I would not trust any nun that can keep pace with Adol (Dana doesn't count, because she's more of a pope than a nun, and explicitly freakishly strong by human standards). Edit: I checked, and she seems to get a little faster, but still not as fast as Adol "I travel entire nations on foot for fun" Christin.

[@Czah5]

*Time sucks that should be illegal in video games* Dragon Age Inquisition: _Homer Simpson's into the bushes_

[@TheFirstCurse1]

What are you talking about in particular?

[@AFLoneWolf]

It does each and every item on this list. Repeatedly.

[@Safiyahalishah]

@@AFLoneWolf I don't remember _DA:I_ having tailing sequences... Honestly, I don't remember having to follow anyone at all, but it has been a couple of years since I last played it.

[@ZK-sv4vz]

Came to say the same thing. The world is so big. Yet so tedious And empty. *shudders*

[@insaincaldo]

@@Safiyahalishah I was about to say, how the fuck has it been a couple of years since, then it hit me that was a '14 release...

[@bigmurphman]

Ellen: "Doing this repetitive work to raise your stats isn't for everyone. Some folks don't have the time or patience and just want to get on the story." EA/Ubisoft/Blizzard/etc, sitting on top of their piles of pay-2-win microtransaction money: "Gooooood. Gooooooooooooood."

[@michaelandreipalon359]

Bastards, those companies.

[@dreadcthulhu5]

May they burn in the depths of Electronic Hell.

[@steviejules]

Cough cough... Rockstar... Cough cough... Shark cards.

[@jonswift5567]

"Give me the fire rabbit and f#$% off!" I laughed so loud I think I scared the neighbours 😂

[@louiemarks8501]

There is a prisoner save in Skyrim, that allows you, once you've played the opening once, to skip straight to the character creation. Ditto, I think, for Fallout 3, it saves just as you're leaving 101 for the first time so in future plays you can get through the childhood and straight to free roam, which is cool.

[@GreatZarquon]

"Oh my god, just give me the fire rabbit and **** off!" - Well said, Ellen.

[@ddjsoyenby]

i agree ellen.

[@ghastlybespoke9541]

but they gotta make sure you get to see leon the champion of the galar region and his partner pokemon charizard for the 50th time in 2 minutes

[@petrnovak7235]

I would've agreed with that, if she did not choose the wrong starter. Everyone knows Sobble is the best Galar starter :P

[@silvershadow5652]

Pokemon is a weird beast. At the start of the series, when youd think there would be a tutorial, they threw you in the deep end, sink or swim, and if there was a tutorial it was optional. And honestly, for the most part it is self explanatory, especially when for battle it comments stuff like "not very effective" or "super effective" after a hit. Fast-forward over twenty years, and they seem to show contempt for your intelligence and patience, especially compared to earlier games. Its hard to articulate how some kid that could barely read could easily get through the first games, but now that its supposed to be big and breathtaking every single freaking step must include being accosted by an NPC. An exaggeration, but considering how often you are forced into a stop and go state in Sword and Shield, not much of one.

[@Artificer1911]

0:15 Woah! All you can eat and all you can drink for 1200 yen for an hour? 600 yen for each additional hour? I don't know what that character is supposed to be doing, but I know what I'd be doing!

[@KING_PHILLIP]

Yo. I just saw that sign. You read japanese? Fucking cool!

[@xstarsystemsx]

Screw detective work! Let's goooo

[@SupersuMC]

Your profile pic makes your comment even better. May I join?

[@Imagigirl]

One of my personal pet peeves is the forced loss boss fight. If the thing kills me in a cutscene or within like the first 30 seconds to show off how powerful it is, that's fine. But I am incredibly stubborn, and if I spend like an hour and a half picking at a boss's health and using my good healing items (or resetting if it got too far, like I did as a kid), only for my last party member to fall and a plot cutscene to start, that is a recipe for snapped controllers.

[@badcactus819]

Fun fact: the final quest chain reward for the berry gathering mission in lord of the rings online shown here is a ring that does literally nothing after a mistake during an item rebalancing. Oops

[@TheSchultinator]

How game producers managed to make their NPCs too slow for your run yet too fast for your walk, so perfectly, so often, has to come from lizardpeople overlords.

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

2:08 To be clear, that scene is from the fight BEFORE the checkpoint. But the original still didn't allow you to skip cutscenes. Which was a pain, indeed. Many of these are real pains.

[@michaelandreipalon359]

And the darkness mumbo jumbo, my gods! Yes, we know about this darkness, time travel, and body possession crap, will you please try to create a Multiversal Crisis with a personality that oozes Revolver Ocelot?!

[@leyasmith2782]

What about missions that start on one side of the map and then immediately make you travel to the other side of the map?

[@blazebane9995]

Legend of Zelda: Majora's mask. You spend half the game waiting for the correct time to do things xD

[@ericb3157]

and if you wait TOO long you have to restart the entire cycle!

[@ShieTar_]

Luke: "We have all endured one too many times ..." Me: One too many? I demand a re-count!

[@thundercookie3214]

Three too many at the very least!

[@johnathanpowell6128]

I have a savegame for Skyrim at the character creator to allow me to jump straight past the wagon sequence.

[@chastitymarks2185]

me too !😆

[@eric_moore-6126]

There's an autosave there that doesn't get deleted. They knew what they were doing.

[@KickyFut]

I did the same thing! I've only seen the wagon scene once in my life... other than seeing someone else play. Plus I never re-bought Skyrim.

[@KasumiRINA]

Don't you have to start a new game after a bunch of new mods screw up the map?

[@chastitymarks2185]

@@KasumiRINA No, it doesn't matter what mods do to the map, since my safe point is right as the prisoners get off the cart.

[@monarchlaciel3057]

“This far into Sens Fortress” Ellen, we both know that’s the second room in.

[@Jodsalz16]

Technically yes, but in terms of progress its about halfway through. Its the second pendulum bridge

[@uunndaruuu]

@@Jodsalz16 maybe if you're measuring progress by pendulum bridge I guess it is 2 of 4 if I'm recalling correctly but with how much is between that bridge and the end, it's still very much only the start of the fortress.

[@aljonliberato7563]

Still can't get over how I reached the boss without dying in Sen's fortress the first time I went there and got whupped by the boss, got over confident, and died six times before even reaching the giant rolling stones. I didn't find the bonfire in Sen's fortress. That was when I learned my lesson of never losing your paranoia in dark souls.

[@christopherhammond5142]

@@aljonliberato7563 I labored through the fortress for hours, constantly falling off shit and then absolutely destroyed the boss on the first try. It's a uniquely individual experience that series.

[@autisticturtle1849]

Should of shown the funny bit before you reach the roof which is honestly a more evil design choice than the archers at anor londo

[@hewwoworld4272]

In Yo-Kai Watch! you have to follow your grandma amble slowly to her home. Worse still, if you go to far ahead, she STOPS and waits for you to rush back to her before dawdling on again.

[@sourwitch2340]

see, while that is still massively wasting your time, it sounds like a charming and clever parody of that type of mission where you trail someone for whom it actually MAKES SENSE that they'd be slow moving and expect you to be continuously by their side. As opposed to when you're following the major general of the revolutionary forces you just joined, who walks like he's taking a leisurely stroll through the city he's currently a wanted criminal in, to make sure you don't lose him, when you're a mile ahead by just walking.

[@yufi305]

@@sourwitch2340 An Excellent Point! Agreed! Seriously! 😂😂

[@00blaat00]

One word: Unskippable minute-long attack animations in turn-based games. I'm looking at you, Septerra Core...

[@KasumiRINA]

Final Fantasy VIII with its GF spam. They knew it's bad so made you mash square (I think) to power-up. Meaning you get bored AND tired!

[@RTitleySage]

Then there are the things that just have arbitrary countdowns on, like Payday's drills. Yeah, when it goes loud it makes you hold out against waves of cops and keep them from breaking it but when you've controlled the area around it in stealth, it's just occasionally swearing at a piece of metal for what can be up to half the heist.

[@quietone610]

"You would think, with all the money they steal, Payday's gang would buy an upgrade to this thing. Maybe they keep it around for sentimental reasons?"

[@ThomasBlackflame]

@@quietone610 The software that shows the drills timers are made by Wolf's company (in lore game) so it is probably of sentimental value to one of the loonies of the gang. As sung in "12 days of Xmas by the Payday gang": " A broken piece of s**t drill".

[@gamefacierglitches]

"The slow walking NPC" OoT Zelda: And there's a time limit for the Hero of Time 😄

[@Tolly7249]

"Just give me the fire rabbit and f**k off!" is going into the file of quotes that make me burst out laughing at inappropriate moments XD

[@bumblebeebattlegolem]

just got reminded of that time in mass effect where i got stuck in a battle against a krogan battlemaster, and everytime I died, i had to watch the cutscene again, i was going insane

[@arielc8584]

That fight, and the one with benzia, where she constantly glitches your body out of bounds. With the last autosave being back at the port where you started the mission.

[@ddjsoyenby]

me in me3: I WILL NOT CURE THE GENOPHAGE.............THIS IS MY REVENGE FOR THAT CUTSCENE!

[@michaelandreipalon359]

Is this Battlemaster from the Liara recruiting mission? I know she's worth recruiting (and honestly, I understand if you want to romance her), but in the end, I only recruited her AFTER doing some side quests and BEFORE Virmire for a big reason.

[@arielc8584]

@@michaelandreipalon359 Do all the main missions including virmire before getting her if you haven't before. She's got different dialogue during and after the mission, and even better if you're renegade. By then you're almost level 60, so the battle master is a lot less frustrating.

[@michaelandreipalon359]

@@arielc8584 Yeah, poor Liara if I did that. All her research being for nothing... I only do Renegade on completionist playthroughs, thank you very much.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Tetsuya nomura thought he was being slick when he put those heartless in FF7 remake

[@jodinsan]

Especially damning when I, someone who has only played like three hours of the first Kingdom Hearts, still recognized them as Heartless.

[@daviddwarmachine]

That's what I thought of FF15.

[@hostiusasinhostilityhostil7853]

Nomura: "Right, what can we put into our remake of this cyberpunk/urban fantasy game...? Ooh, I know, the Four [Minus One] Kings: Rainbow Edition!"

[@skynet0912]

Two games have done something to me that is bordering on a warcrime: Make you wait out actual real life timers to complete missions! Xenoblade Chronicles 2 and Dragon Age Inquisition both have "sidequests" that make you select a mission, who should do the mission, and then forces you to wait for an actual timer to tick down in order to complete them! And both games have their positives and negatives about how they do it... XC2 has timers that go up to over 2 hours, but can be brought down a bit with the right Blades, although the timer only ticks down as long as you are ingame, while Inquisitions missions are much longer, but use the console or PC internal clock to track the time, so even if some missions can take 12 hours or more, you can at least set it in motion, turn off the game and go to bed while the timer ticks away...

[@deanospimoniful]

I'm already emotionally attached to Liam Neeson. I don't need a game to do that.

[@Raguleader]

Honestly the direction I expected Ellen to go with that.

[@SupersuMC]

Did you know that the voice he uses for most of his characters isn't his real voice? In _The LEGO Movie,_ the director's commentary revealed that he used his real voice for Good Cop. Yeah... That gruff voice is 100% an act. XD

[@MazogaTheDork]

The Skyrim intro at least can be shortened on subsequent playthroughs by loading the "Prisoner, Nord, Level 1" save instead of starting a game. (Or mods, if you're on a platform that has them)

[@charmlarritt2677]

Which is useful when the initial intro sequence on the carts breaks and the horse and carts fly off into space, rendering the game unplayable without that save (as unfortunately happened to mine. It took about 12 times before I even got into Helgen, and not upside down on a random mountain road.)

[@Dropkickclash192]

@@charmlarritt2677 if that happens you can console command on PC and turn off some physics interactions iirc

[@TheOtherJunodog]

Having flashbacks to the boss fight in Hollow Bastion and having to redo it and rewatch that damn cutscene five hundred times. Thanks a lot, kingdom hearts 1

[@emberowl3718]

And here's me, being gladder and gladder my family never had the money for Kingdom Hearts. Waiting 20 years to make my own money and buy the PS4 collection apparently saved me waiting 20 years for the game to get on with it. From the looks of it, the original KH didn't even let you restart the stage of the boss you died in. I hardly ever ran into the problem (lucky me), but when I did game over on the fifth stage of KH1's final boss, I was so afraid I'd have to do it all over again, then cheered when I found it was all cool. Though KH bosses can be frustrating in other ways - to this day, I have no idea how I beat Roxas in KH2, only that I actually _did._ Somehow. When I wasn't looking. Or breathing. After, like, twenty tries and some serious grinding. Or re:CoM, which felt like one solid boss rush I ended up needing a game breaker for. Much as I adore KH, I long for the times when the only Square Enix games I played were Dragon Quest 9 and TWEWY. Things were so simple in TWEWY... Now you must excuse me, I'm off crying a single, glittering tear of nostalgia while ignoring that TWEWY's also hard af, albeit for different reasons.

[@johnoneil9188]

Andy´s shock at Arthur´s default look is a real mood.

[@Tribal92]

Right I agree with him it's why I never replay the story missions using that feature.

[@cheesestockphoto1769]

Prey 2017. Every time you unlock an item or scan a creature you get an extremely long cutscene. I’ve actually died because of those

[@MeLeoMiller]

'F*** off and give me the fire rabbit' is such a phrase

[@matthewboyle8626]

Any game with a long cutscene before a difficult boss needs to be fired into the sun.

[@erinmiller1433]

“Kairi! Kairi! Open your eyes!”

[@GodOfOrphans]

What if you can skip it? Personally I still despise those because they tend to still force you into an additional loading screen because of the cutscene instead of just one typically short if not nigh instantaneous loading screen to reset the fight.

[@GriffinWolf]

"Just gimme the fire rabbit and f*** off!" I'd get that on a shirt.

[@isabellecw1]

'Just give me the Fire Rabbit and F off' kills me! thank you Ellen!

[@shard7549]

When you lose all your stuff in Minecraft and either can’t find them or you fell in lava.

[@laurafrakinroslin]

/gamerule keepInventory true

[@prime_optimus]

@@laurafrakinroslin But where's the fun in cheating?

[@silversalamence10]

Ellen: "No I don't care about Hop." Me: "I wasn't a fan of him either."

[@GHintEr23]

Me @ any interaction with Bede

[@jprofio]

Every time Hop or Bede showed up on a path I audibly went "Ugh go away". Especially Hop.

[@TheFirstCurse1]

No fan really cared about any Gen 8 characters. Or Gen 8 in general.

[@aqj2014]

i dont think anyone was..that dude sucked. literally

[@mikoto7693]

Oh yeah I bloody hated Hop. I even roleplayed that my character also despised him, but played nice because his brother gave her Sobble on the condition she be a good rival to Hop.

[@pascal7876]

The worst about slow NPCs is when they wait for you after you outran them like "Yeah you do you I'll wait"

[@ericb3157]

oh, that reminds me of Castlevania legacy of darkness (N64) where an NPC will stop and yell "where are you?" if you get too far ahead... AND you are BOTH being chased by a big monster!

[@swankycab6170]

On the subject of unskippable cutscenes and poor checkpoint placement: Final Fantasy X A boss with more than one instant kill SIX MINUTE UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENE

[@mrigangkarongpi4815]

Those are more annoying then hearing "all we had to do was follow the damn train c j " in gta in loop

[@Alobo075]

It's confirmed, Ellen's been spending too much time with Eurogamer.

[@thekleptodetective]

Oh, the Kingdom Hearts quotes... Back in the day, I got stuck on Riku-Ansem in Hollow Bastion. "There's no way you're taking Kairi's heart."

[@MysikiTV]

"just give me the fire rabbit and F** off" best line

[@Ceece20]

The orc captains in LotR: Shadow of War. God fucking dammit every single one needs a 3-5 minute speech and every single time it’s not just one of them. It just eventually builds up to show how needlessly Shadow of War was padded.

[@GodOfOrphans]

Ugh tell me about it, it's especially irritating in the Trails of War where you're on the clock and up against extremely powerful Warchiefs and every time the captains interrupt gameplay it causes you to lose your place in the battle just long enough to get one shotted or for a for a fleeing target to get away or even just interrupt your attack! The combination of rushing cause of the clock and the amount of retries it will likely take if going for the elite leaderboards for achievements (looking at you The Hunt is my Mistress) means you'll see pretty much every variation of intro, and running away speech enough times to get sick of all of them and I'm pretty sure time doesn't stop when they monologue either!

[@walterwhite7376]

The worst thing for me is when they won't let you skip cutscenes. Especially if they are 2 hours long, I m looking at you Kojima.

[@joimumu]

At least have it so if you played the game once you should have complete control over cutscenes

[@Pro_Butcher_Amateur_Human]

Cutscenes you can skip but not pause are my personal hate. I've only experienced a few games with them, and those moments are inevitably when the phone rings or someone knocks the door. And then you come back 5 minutes later to find a "you died, do you want to reload" screen. That's why I'll never play Bloodborne, since the whole game is that no-pausing mechanic. I'm not scheduling my bathroom visits and deciding whether I'll answer the door or pick up my parcel from the neighbour based on how close to a save point I am.

[@SimuLord]

I soured on the entire JRPG genre in part because of its love of this trope.

[@exquisitecorpse4917]

Must-lose battles that aren't clearly shown as such. I've reloaded and refought must-lose battles in several games before realizing what was going on.

[@GodOfOrphans]

Not sure what's worse forced loss battles that you can technically still win thus triggering my Obsessive Completionism Drive to reload and power grind for years until I can beat them even if it changes nothing or forced loss battles that aren't clearly indicated for the reasons you stated plus the fact that I tend to waste items on them.

[@herladyshipofexpletives]

You forgot the not being able to pick up an obviously pick upable item when you went there an area the first time. But makes you back track to get it later after you've gotten the misson or ability you apparently need to pick up an item.

[@purrfectpyrokitten]

Can't believe that speaking of long openings the mgsv near 1 hour crawling simulator didn't get mentioned, sure its aesthetically pleasing to look at but holy shit let me ooooouuut

[@vineylfc]

"Hey, you. You're finally awake." Yeah and by the end of this intro I'll be asleep again!

[@AlphaScorcher96]

Given how nice everyone is it's always so precious whenever someone from the Oxtra or Oxbox crew drops an f-bomb :)

[@crashed_86]

2 is just "The problem with being faster than light is that you can only live in darkness"

[@heartofthewild680]

Another aggravation I’ve had is when you have to stay within a certain distance of a fast-moving NPC who’s supposed to be protecting you while you struggle with clunky controls, like Riju and the sand seal you have to keep up with when in Breath Of The Wild. I got zapped by Van Naboris’ lighting so many times I’m surprised no one commented on how impressively still-alive I was beyond the standard “congratulations, you defeated a divine beast” talk.

[@gwynbell]

Hello! Hope y'all have a good week!

[@supersparerib]

Ty!

[@B.E.N_]

Thanks buddy i hope you also have a good week!

[@soulmechanics7946]

"..but you just wait until we get blue roses." 🤣

[@WillisH6634]

It's worse when you are spamming a during the conversation with that owl in ocarina of time and you press no when he says did you get all that

[@daynechart]

Ellen Souls Academy made it into a 7's list! I was there when it happened! I was there!

[@Leith_Crowther]

What amazing timing, wasn’t it! You couldn’t rehearse that.

[@anomalousentity]

I wanted to read this as "time sinks" (as a WoW player) but I guess "time sucks" works too in a slightly filthy way... lol?

[@Lauren_C]

The only saving grace for the Kingdom Hearts one multi-stage boss checkpoint is that Ansem was a drastically easier fight than Ansem/Riku in Hollow Bastion. While tough to actually do damage to, Ansen wasn’t nearly as aggressive, making it easier to play defensively and stay alive.

[@Fluffkitscripts]

Something I found helpful in doom eternal was that climbable walls show up on the map screen, which helps if you can’t find the wall you’re supposed to jump to.

[@raynefrost9084]

I read the titled as “Seven Times Ucks Should Be Illegal in Games” and I’m not going to lie, it THREW me. I just sorta sat there looking at the notification, trying to make my brain compute.

[@thuershen]

Ngl I also had to have a few confused blinks before things slotted into places. That's what happens when the good old list video title formula suddenly shifts xD

[@thegaymingavenger]

As a German with a lot of love for the vocabulary and all of our options, I feel like I should have a word at my disposal to affirm the notion of _having_ a word for it... and yet... I can't think of anything. But we probably do have one, yeah 😂 German has a word for everything and I love that.

[@perlundgren7797]

Zungenspitzenphänomen, maybe?

[@annana6098]

Another commentator has suggested drangsal, though several other Germans had to look it up themselves.

[@christhegendersloth2901]

The curse of the slow moving NPC must be how speedsters like the Flash or Quicksilver feel. In the comics Wally hints at always percieving things in slow motion, and Barry in the DCEU hints at it too

[@GregglePoof]

“Just gimme the fire rabbit and f*** off” 🥲🥲🥲 Ellen you really are my spirit animal

[@AzureKnight2]

There's always the worst mission-type ever, which is usually also a huge time suck: escort missions. Why yes, I'm tired of playing a fun game and would just love to protect a slow-moving NPC that dies in three hits and draws enemies like excrement draws flies, all so I can endlessly repeat a long mission from the beginning... until the point I rage quit and never start up the game again. (Seriously, just the creation the escort missions should be against the law. I've never met someone that likes them outside the devs that make them.)

[@yufi305]

Escort missions are the worst. I think I have a form of PTS, cause everytime I play a game and run into a certain character that just gives off the vibe I'm always worried the game's gonna make me escort that person at some point even when it turns out I'm thankfully wrong. Don't wanna deal with that crap!

[@ilajoie3]

I'm reminded of the epic NPC man series from viva la dirt league

[@zerin25]

Now announcing the sequel to the "F*** around and find out" tshirt, the "Give me the fire rabbit and f*** off" tshirt.

[@ghastlybespoke9541]

"NO I DONT CARE ABOUT HOP" is very relatable

[@jukkab5352]

“Rraaahhh!! Precious memories” That got me 😂

[@hyliandragongaming]

Dance Water DaNcE!!!~ Ders no whey I’m lettin you take Kairi’s Hart!!~

[@Twiganut]

The post .... and that god damn fight...

[@michaelandreipalon359]

DAMN YOU, DAMN THAT GAME, DAMN THAT MINIGAME, AND DAMN ALL THOSE KH CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@hyliandragongaming]

@@michaelandreipalon359 Dang man, tell us how you really feel.😱 But yeah, those games were frustrating at times. And yet... as I sit here listening to Dearly Beloved, I’m lamenting about the fact those games aren’t on the switch.... yet~👀

[@michaelandreipalon359]

@@hyliandragongaming Yeah, the soundtrack is nice... except *that.*

[@hyliandragongaming]

@@michaelandreipalon359 You’ll have to forgive me for I am a bit slow, but, which *that* are you referring to? Because I think there are a few of them.🤔☹️

[@TheRealCodeBlack]

Been playing Genshin Impact, and they've recently started taking slow moving NPCs to the next level. Usually the game would ask you to meet an NPC elsewhere, and then pop them over there for you to find after a wipe. In recent events, though, they've introduced a thing where you'd follow the NPC, who would sloooowly walk about five steps, say one line of dialogue, slooooowly alk another five steps, say another line, and glacially trickle out the interaction.

[@TheBlank49]

Theres always the slow walking NPC's sinister cousin, the escort quest.

[@gel_oh]

I thought the title was a typo for a second

[@lordshadow3822]

Same lol

[@grabthekitties]

„I feel like there is probably a Word in german for the distinctive blend of impatience and despair this is making me feel“ tough one, the closest one I can think of is „Überdruss“, being „überdrüssig“ means you’re fed up with something because you had to deal with it for a long time without actually wanting to.

[@Ganondorf-ui7yk]

6:30 this is why I have an auto save at the character select screen that I never delete. It’s not skipping the whole prologue but it does skip the boring part.

[@niceguy169]

The earliest follow mission I can think of (I feel like it is NOT the earliest I did, just the one I can think of) is in Secret Of Monkey Island, following the shopkeeper. Almost all of it you enter a location JUST in time to see him exit it. No waiting for him, you can go as fast as you can/want, just have to use the same exit as him. And since you start in a town with one path and near the end of it, the beginning is predetermined anyway. THAT is how to do a follow mission, LOL! (Doesn't work so well without screen transitions anymore, damn this fluidly moving through the environment, seamlessly going from area to area!) :)

[@eric_moore-6126]

Except if multistage boss fights had checkpoints in the middle, you'd often either be stuck in an unbreakable death loop due to only having 1% of your health, or they'd have to fully heal you, thereby rewarding you for dieing. It's not ideal, but it does seem necessary.

[@nickdejager8873]

Even worse would be if, even if they did heal you, you were just under leveled or poorly equipped, so you'd still be stuck in an unwinnable fight.

[@notproductiveproductions3504]

Old school God of War caps it’s health returns after a certain % as to not seem TOO forgiving…on Chaos Difficulty lol

[@ashleyneku5432]

Multi-stage bossfights are rarely necessary though. In KH1, you fight a giant...ship...thing...then its...heart...thing, then the mountain demon, Czernobog, then back to the heart...thing, THEN you fight Xehanort...in the...ship...thing, then you fight Xehanort...himself. None of the bosses up to Xehanort flesh out his character or story. They don't prepare you for the actual confrontation itself. It's not a learning opportunity for the characters or the forthcoming fight. It's just some random crap they pulled together to make it feel epic. Same mistake gets repeated in Kh2. You fight Xemnas at the skyscraper (good fight), then you fight him in giant ship mode (no good), then you fight him TWICE in captain-of-the-ship mode (even worse), THEN you fight him in infinite white void (decent). Another totally pointless series of fights thrown together to feel epic. And I forgot about the sequence where you hit the engines of the...ship...thing before being able to fight him on the throne the second time. It could have just been the white void fight and it'd be fine. Same thing with Xehanort-not-Xehanort-because-who-can-keep-track. This is an extremely cheap way to make a final boss epic. Very few games need them. I don't even think BOTW needed them, because you're just redoing fights you've already proven you can do, except now you have to do them in sequence.

[@notproductiveproductions3504]

@@ashleyneku5432 that’s a bad example. Ansem and Xemnas can canonically summon those kinds of heartless and nobodies so it’s not too far out of character

[@ashleyneku5432]

@@notproductiveproductions3504 "Canonically" my ass, and canonically doesn't mean it's automatically the right decision for a video game.

[@englanda6887]

I like looking through the spoilers reel trying to figure out which game someone was playing that inspired the list. Like someone was playing their 30th raid in Valhalla and said screw this, I'm making a list

[@James2912Clover]

"Just give me the fire rabbit and f**k off!" I felt this in my soul

[@mikoto7693]

Me too.

[@deadersurvival4716]

Ellen, that little squeak on "few" in the first segment was adorable. Fan-personing aside, what about literally every shooter ever, that during the campaign (should you quit, disconnect, rage yourself into death too many times, or take a mistimed bite) either start you from the very beginning of a 30 minute mission that's in that weird middle ground between too long and too short, altogether boring because I've heard this information 15 fricking times, and I still can't find the f***ing door on the sinking ship that somehow will save me even though i'm in the middle of the ocean with the nearest rescue boat sitting a few miles away because of enemy f***ing line, then have to go through another section with another 50 (and still spawning) enemies that there's no way (or no way that doesn't involve every tryharding shooter skill that comes from playing nothing but that one specific game for half a f***ing decade straight, which I, as a rational human being that doesn't like shooters, don't have) to get by stealthily which you need to do to get to the magical extraction point.