#77: Nightmare Dating Profiles Video (from Dudes who Need a Mental Health Check Up)

Welcome to Nightmare Dating Profiles, where we dive headfirst into the jumpscares of online dating to bring you the cringiest, most bewildering profiles ever to grace the internet. Get ready to cringe, laugh, and question humanity's choices in the quest for love!
#onlinedating #dating #datingapp #bio #grammar #punctuation #punctuationmatters #spelling #childleftbehind #datingprofiletips #onlinedating #datingadvice #datingtips #datingcoach #datingexpert #datingapp #datingonline #datingprofile

[@TobyIsAWoman]

It's like they think arguing is flirting. 😂😂😂

[@BurbNBougie]

Probably will pinch and punch as well

[@NinaGothMambaNegra]

yes, fr

[@inactiveaccount6106]

They don't get much attention outside of that. Their own fault, of course.

[@lesliemcmillan2971]

They do. Unfortunately, they have not matured past kindergartners.

[@MarinaM-o6p]

THEY HAVE CRIMINAL BACKGROUND . STAY SAFE ONLINE AND OFFLINE .

[@deborahfrederick1558]

Gorl, the fact that you have so much fodder for this segment is hilarious to me. 😂😂😂😂

[@BurbNBougie]

Right. I'll hit 100 episodes before summer

[@DeneseJamerson-i7y]

SHE'S NEVER gonna run outta material!

[@tejas_jo]

💀

[@WendyDrayke]

Absolutely no self awareness combined with arrogance and entitlement. So much better to be single because they are getting worse. I'm 55 and the men of my generation are awful.😬

[@snacksized_biteme7473]

Lol,they're not great in my age range either!

[@betsywilliamsonasmr]

The truck driver needs to get it together. I am a therapist and I have had a truck trivet client. In rural Texas, no less. He showered daily and did his laundry. Job ain’t an excuse. Also, he came in ready to get the mental health work done. So, bio sex isn’t an excuse either.

[@TimelessErsy]

Hi Burb, I hope you are having a great day. Thank you for this one. It's my favorite series apart from FAFO!

[@BurbNBougie]

Glad you enjoy it! 😁😊😁😊

[@catflon2388]

Exorcism needed right now 🥴

[@Moonlilly13]

I’m recently single at 28. Im sad about it, if this is all that available out here. I’ll stick with my cats and wine for a while

[@joyofdance999]

Hang in there; sounds like you're still grieving. Take your time healing, keep your discernment sharp, and take even more time letting your guard down. Keep yourself as your priority! Sorry, this is unasked-for advice, and I am joyfully single in my sixties. Wishing I might save one woman from wasting as much time as I did, spending years focusing on finding love outside myself. My perspective is that I was raised to expect marriage and kids - I knew from my teenage years that I didn't want kids. I even told myself that if I fell in love with someone who wanted kids I would consider it. I just knew I didn't want to be a single mom. I spent most of my adult years trying to find a partner, and managed to attract all the guys just like the ones in this post. I thought I was incomplete without my "other half", and put off many big goals because I was waiting to find "the one". That was a commonly-held delusion in my youth. In my early fifties I realized that I still didn't know any men I would consider dating, and that I actually prefer my own company. I do believe that there are some really great guys out there but I no longer want to live with one. Most of the good ones are a couple of generations younger, not anything I would want or consider; however I am glad to see some of them evolving. At 28, I hope you come to realize how young you are still, and that choosing yourself first will attract the best people to you, who also take care of themselves. I hope you hold your own dreams closer than anyone else's. Truly wishing you joy, love, a full life and a full heart.💙

[@DeneseJamerson-i7y]

Just go about your day-to-day business, that's when you'll meet someone. And take your time getting to know him.

[@TimelessErsy]

Ladies, she has summoned us all expeditiously!!!! 😂😂😂

[@stephaniemartin9253]

I don’t know how these profiles get worse and worse.These men are AWFUL in-person and digitally.

[@JoseRamirez-vb1sk]

As a Jose, I apologize to the world for the other Jose who was mentioned😂

[@tonekagrigsby5992]

Keep them coming !!! These videos keep me from downloading dating apps !!😂

[@ericab1241]

It's making me want to get on them. Now that I don't have Tik tok I may want to troll these creeps for entertainment. 😂

[@tonekagrigsby5992]

@ yoooooo , .😂😂troll em !!

[@DeneseJamerson-i7y]

You shouldn't even have curiosity to do so!

[@tabbycatcrume]

If we’d compiled these profiles in a book and traveled back to 2010 to get it published, every editor would say it was too unbelievable to get published and we’d have to tone it down

[@Lokian_Mermaid]

Oh, Burb, I laughed the same as you right after you read out, "Manman". 😂😂😂

[@krhoomes22]

The shelter PRIZE is just…no words for this one!

[@cindychristian1700]

Gary's wife has moved on! If she's near his age then she probably no longer wants him physically and just wants to stay married!

[@gettrim73]

I think his wife is thinking it easier and cheaper for her to wait until he expires from old age rather than incur the cost to divorce him. Also, if his wife doesn't want to kiss him, what makes him think a woman from a dating app wants to smooch on him? 😖

[@wrenbyrd1093]

I don’t see why the guys that put things like, “I’m looking for a home”, or “I need my clothes done”, etc. shouldn’t be banned from a dating site. They need to go to the classified ads. 🤣

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

Or just self identify as a rescue dog......... 😅😅😅😅

[@TheScottSistersSing]

I would like to thank you for featuring these profiles of black and brown men included. I’m often asked why I don’t date black men and these profiles are the ones that I see as part of the dating pool. HARD PASS for me. This is not to say that any other race isn’t rough but a lot of people I tell about my dating preferences think I’m exaggerating. So thank you for bringing these to light and not treating black men like they’re special.

[@tinaelert2865]

These vids are the best LOL

[@BurbNBougie]

Thank ya

[@inactiveaccount6106]

Lol I hate when men say they aren't supposed to be pretty. You want all this unconditional love, but have so many conditions for us. I peeped this in my teens & started dating for looks along with personality. I admit, I used to be one of those girls that said his looks didn't matter as long as he was good to me. Not anymore. You better be as fine as you expect me to be & keep up with your looks as you age or I'm leaving just like you will. On a side note, I love that they are being honest these days. Makes the easier to avoid.

[@joyofdance999]

#MIRRORSFORMEN Ruben sounds like he has confused the dating app with his therapist's inbox. Gary sounds like he might have forgotten his hygiene routine, if his wife won't even kiss him on his lips. I wonder how many of these guys just don't wash. Jose's definitely looking for a home. Dane is a dog, in a shelter, but a prize? Keith doesn't wash and tells us this off the bat. Yusuf took a picture of the back of his head. Milek thinks he can father a star athlete to take care of him in his old age, after he abandons his baby mama. Sure, Milek, that's how that will go... Dylan sounds like a teenager trying to sound experienced and cool. Brandon uses a picture of his deceased son for attention/sympathy. Weird. Adariyah wants so bad to be someone's authority, but can't seem to find anyone who accepts his superiority. My favorite content here, Burb! Why does this lighten my heart so much? I'm guessing it's just you and all of us in the comments speaking our truth to the stories these gaslighters want to tell. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙🦋🦋🦋

[@christinerichardson1756]

# FULL LENGTH MIRRORS FOR MEN! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

Yes cause WTF!😮😮🤦🏾‍♀️

[@mariposaflame4194]

Plus vision correction services 👀

[@DeneseJamerson-i7y]

Helen Keller could see none of them were any good!

[@23rdcenturyhobbit]

​@@DeneseJamerson-i7y 😂😂😂💀💀💀

[@yazajag]

​@@DeneseJamerson-i7y 😂😂😂

[@sherrita8582]

It's a sad day when Milek meets all your requirements 😩

[@pabloescobarschanclas]

that app is dirty for doing whatever woman was looking at profiles like that lmao

[@christinerichardson1756]

@@sherrita8582 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@DeneseJamerson-i7y]

Still scratching my head on that one!

[@evergreenforestwitch]

Gary, whose wife hasn't wanted to touch him for 8 years, and he hasn't bothered to ask her why??? After what he wrote, it seems like he struggles to put two words together, but that still doesn't justify cheating or make it seem like it would be AT ALL beneficial to any woman to spend one moment with him. They just tell on themselves. 😅😂😅😅😂

[@jessikajane4967]

My guess is hygiene, weaponized incompetence, and overall obnoxious.

[@yesitsthattime]

He probably has major health issues. Its not attractive

[@evergreenforestwitch]

@jessikajane4967 agreed. Plus, he might finally be weak enough he can't force her anymore. I'm sure there are a multitude of reasons NOT to sleep with Gary. Hopefully, he'll just kick the bucket so his wife can actually get some peace instead of cheated on. Not that I think for one second he's gonna find a woman with that ad, but attempted cheating is morally the same thing.

[@fantym-1]

Re gary: that fish looks like it's the better option

[@evergreenforestwitch]

@fantym-1 😅🤣😅🤣 you're not wrong

[@ThereSheGoes0425]

I'm screaming at "I'm 70 and I use a walker..." I haven't laughed this hard in ages. 😂

[@thelastshallbefirst6036]

I am sure that his wife can't wait to be a widow. I hope she got some good insurance policy on him because she going to need it.

[@WendyDrayke]

Love this channel! These are my favorite.

[@BurbNBougie]

Yay! Thank you!

[@WendyDrayke]

@BurbNBougie I'm subscribed on 2 different profiles😉. Trying to get those numbers up.

[@rn2787]

Sir, most people don't expect you to be the embodiment of health and fitness because they aren't either. My grandmother smoked, drank, ate horribly, had horrible insomnia, had 3 abusive husbands, 5 children, 2 step-children, 15 grandchildren, and met my baby about 7 months prior to her death, worked until she was in her 70s, and lived about a month longer than the maximum doctors said she would out of spite. She died at 78 with all her kids, most of her grandchildren, and her first great-grandchild in the same home my aunts had me take the kids to the living room at the very end after our goodbyes and we came back a few minutes after. You're right I'm not like her because she wanted us girls to do better because we had the opportunities she never had and we didn't have to have a husband or stay with them to survive. I cried at my community college graduation and my university graduations because she couldn't be there and I wished she could have seen the first, second, and third college graduations in the family and she deserved to see it. She was the reason I could and did graduate out of spite for every horrible man and brainwashed pick-me. I loved my grandpa, but he died alon. He was an abusive alcoholic who blew all their money so my grandmother couldn't even be there because she was working overtime to pay the nursing home. Nobody else would or could travel hundreds of miles to see him just to be treated like crap by a man who abused them. He died of liver disease and alzheimer's he got what he deserved. Men like that guy will meet his karma like my grandfather and they don't deserve to have women like my grandmother in their life.

[@annejohnson5875]

Ruben is scary and angry. A very large red flag.

[@SteveAyanami]

Says he plays deathcore. Pretty intense genre of music...

[@desi1997-]

@@SteveAyanami People into all types of heavy music are honestly some of the sweetest people, not all but most.

[@female.liberation]

I needed a good laugh 🤣😂🤣.

[@jenndesharnais6101]

Living in a shelter and thinks he's the prize!😒😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@jenndesharnais6101]

Uncle Fester thinks he's hit. 🤔😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

Good grief I spit out my coffee ☕😂😅

[@mariposaflame4194]

You gotta heed the warning 😁

[@TamuMalone-b4q]

I'm taking a chance eating a edible and smoking while watching😂. Why do they think anger and their aggression is a turn on? These make me check if I have enough pepper spray.😊

[@videofan1010]

Dylan is taking a pic in a Chipotle bathroom...

[@monasautes4665]

4:24 the dogs in the background came in at the perfect time

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

Right😹😹😹😹🤦🏾‍♀️

[@navideology]

This is one of my favourite series 😂❤ Burb you're so smart and hilarious

[@BurbNBougie]

Well thanks

[@BeaSiegal]

5:58 It’s Cthulhu 🫠

[@23rdcenturyhobbit]

don't put Cthulhu in this, they drove him to madness! 😂😂😂

[@MACK472]

Who's signing up for the job that Gary's wife doesn't want....I'll wait 😊

[@23rdcenturyhobbit]

Cane Corso are the prettiest dogs that cost $800 But Dane is NOT worth the $800 to house train, feed and house ..he can stay in the shelter until he ages out 😂😂😂 keep them coming... gosh the creatures are bold! 🤮

[@Leahs_Dad]

You make me so glad I'm married. And a straight man. It's looking spooky outchea

[@kimkats]

I think it said on Gary’s profile that he wanted to match as soon as possible. No doubt he’s looking for a nurse or a purse. Maybe there’s a reason his wife doesn’t sleep with him anymore. Bleah. Milek looks pissed - not a good look to get a partner.. And it’s hilarious as Burb noted that so many are “6 foot tall “- been listening to the redpill dudes, I guess.i think I like Gary’s the best- dude you really think you’re gonna have any takers with THAT?!

[@margaretanderson6924]

7:14 "Dylan, 21"🤭🤣 great faucet placement

[@BrainsBeautyandCommonSense]

Milek left me speechless. That is unbelievable, unfortunate, and unacceptable.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

How is this allowed?

[@AeriaGl0ris]

Damn, Burb, you weren't joking when you called these profiles sad. A couple were also scary, but mostly sad. Are these guys using dating sites to dump their trauma and other issues onto?

[@BurbNBougie]

RIGHT?! They need a therapy app, not the dating app

[@Ms.AllSunday930]

Oh to have the confidence of a less than mediocre man

[@robind7352]

These dating profiles sound like threats! 👀

[@nubeinggoddess9376]

GROSS!! All of em....smh. Just shameless in their ignorance 😅

[@mwademinor]

I'm fat because you aren't supposed to find me attractive. Duh!

[@teambitesandkicks]

Connecticut just out here being embarrassing.

[@videofan1010]

I thought the same 😂 . I'm not surprised though.

[@monique7796]

I love these!!!❤❤❤

[@BrainsBeautyandCommonSense]

Who puts their deceased child on their dating profile? That’s weird, unhealthy and somewhat creepy.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

You're being kind; that's sick AF.

[@niamarieturek9281]

In the 80s I always enjoyed how the older men dressed. Didn’t matter their background or race they always looked fine! Now it’s hard to find a well dressed man!

[@BurbNBougie]

They look so BAD 😔

[@formerlyknownas123]

Gary's wife is hoping he will exit the matrix soon. 😅

[@cccc7098]

Burb I need some “#Mirrors4Men” merch!!

[@pabloescobarschanclas]

you know the situation is dire when jose is the least offensive one out of the bunch…these dudes need mental health help.

[@ANW122]

Cousin Itt went to Jamaica

[@glamour89]

I would rather stay with lizards and animals!

[@Leopardgirl25]

Its really sad, if some of these guys actually put some effort into themselves and their profiles, they might actually not be so bad. I think someone should come up with a service to help men make good dating profiles. Like a professional resume service but for dating profiles. But I think most men dont care enough to put that much effort into dating.

[@RedDeadReverie]

What does Rubin have against pansexuals? It’s not like we want him either!

[@BurbNBougie]

I mean, he also didn't like sports with one ball. He's just mad

[@RedDeadReverie]

@ True lol 😅

[@latonjabell3837]

😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅😭😭😭😭😭Here We Go!😂❤

[@Mikewee777]

I like Ruben, he sounds like a cool guy .

[@bamboozled1668]

IncelHarmony 🤣

[@SuzetteJones-tz1qn]

#Mirrors4Men 😂😂😂❤

[@NoShot-sl6cr]

He can't see the forest for the weave?

[@ipeefreely9865]

I'm eating after a 10 pkus milk hike today. 😮😮 When did it become a thing to "rescue" adult males from the shelter??!! Are they peys awaiting adoption??!! 😮😮

[@annejohnson5875]

Maybe Yusuf is a passport bro.

[@cmstacy]

Yusef is on the Cousin Itt Tour with the Addams Family Show.....

[@annejohnson5875]

@cmstacy LOL!! He looks like something I once fished out of my shower drain. At the time I called it Cousin It, but Yusuf bears more of a resemblance to the mass of hair and soap scum that I pulled out of the drain.

[@cmstacy]

@@annejohnson5875 oh Anne, you are too funny ! I have to go with your comment girl Lol…

[@cmstacy]

@@annejohnson5875 oh Anne, you are too funny ! I have to go with your comment girl Lol…

[@mzblue5861]

Tell me you looking for lot lizards 🦎 without saying you looking for lot 🦎, Eiffel tower trucker...

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

He wants a Bangmaid.

[@88QueenOfHearts]

3:55 Cane Corso is a dog breed. Hence (great) Dane, 50 in the shelter, come rescue me comment.

[@PositiveHappyHuman]

10:21 Please, is he incarcerated?

[@Dot-t2k]

Ruben needs a visit from VanHelsing, NO WAY JOSE!, truck drivers are 304s, Yusuf ewwwww, Manman will get you incarcerated, though he will escape prosecution, Brandon.....just nooooo,

[@onycagayle4485]

🎉

[@NoShot-sl6cr]

Is he in witness protection?

[@thelastshallbefirst6036]

Gary's wife sound like she's waiting for him to kick the bucket 🪣 so that way, she can live peaceful. I'm pretty sure she's very religious Christian like.

[@uniquelyme3581]

😐

[@NoShot-sl6cr]

Is this cousin It's cousin?

[@1453ld]

All of those dating profiles reek of dustiness, smh.

[@1453ld]

The dating market is truly in hell on gasoline drawers. THIS is what women have to settle for?!!!! THANK GOD I'm married!

[@HaughtyHedonist]

Homeboy Really Announced He Wanted A Woman To Help Him Commit A Crime By Setting Someone Up 🫠🥴 I Feel Genuinely Insulted By The Homie Who Compared Himself To A Cane Corso - I'd Bring One Of My Favorite Breeds Home Before He Ever Darkened My Doorstep!

[@jenndesharnais6101]

So his wife won't sleep with him, but he thinks other women will. 🤔😒🫠😵‍💫🤡