8 Final Reasons Why NOT to Move to Japan

[@Disappointed739]

A delightful video, spot on, and thank you. Crazy old guy from Kochi here again. A few thoughts came to me as I listened: First, there were, 40 years ago, (and no doubt still are) happy and unhappy regions in Japan. For example, Osaka hates itself (even worse than NYC, if you can believe it). Self loathing and living the grind is the name of the game in Kobe/Osaka, and it is really sad. (Eeyore was likely from Osaka in another life, I think.) Another example: I was fortunate to live in two towns as I grew up in Kochi Prefecture that were rather happy places, with lots of friendly and rather generous people living in both places. But just five or six km away there was a town that was very bitter, which was because, I think, they saw themselves as the rightful (but of course cruelly displaced) heirs to the honor of the entire region. It was really amazing--they were nursing a "we should be king" complex!! I suspect the wounds they were licking were some two hundred years old if I am not mistaken. (Hey, but that is Tosa all over for you, which had its fair share of exiled and de-nobilzed families, both before and after the Meiji Restoration, who then spent the next century or two crying into their sake cups at the injustice and cruelty of ... the Hierarchy!!!) In a similar way, I knew individual people who were happy in the hierarchical society of Japan and individuals who rejected it at some level and rebelled in various ways. As a kid, I personally ran with Japanese guys who were rejected by the Hierarchy, so in our own "wagamama" way, we had a great time as we systematically tried to avoid any of the classic p---ing matches brought on by the Hierarchy. And I knew several people who escaped overseas or even to Tokyo to leave the Hierarchy behind, and they rarely looked back. (Cue music and lyrics of: "Nangoku Tosa wo Ato ni Shite"...) Finally, I think the farther into the hills of Japan you live (as you do), the deeper into the 19th century and 18th century the culture (and language) remains. I remember once (in 1985) getting lost and stopping for directions deep in the hill country of Shikoku. I stopped the car by a farmer lady who was older than me and broke into the thickest brogue of the Tosa dialect I could muster to first apologize and grovel ("Homma ni suman kendo ne, obachan, michi ga mayoute kommatuu monyakendo..." etc.). She was so kind, and before I left she said how she was overwhelmed with gladness that she could actually understand and communicate with me since I spoke "Japanese", and of course it was "sure sonny, now you can get to the bridge if you go over this pass, and down the left fork, ..." I was speaking her language, but it wasn't pure NHK-Ministry of Education Japanese, I assure you! But the language and manners the situation called for would have worked in the 18th century just as well. It was old, old, old! But it was also her language with all the cultural markers that she needed to be able to respond freely. Thanks again!!! I always look forward to your videos!

[@Skerpful]

A very wise and apt reply, applicable in many countries worldwide I think, thanks!

[@cecilearquette1637]

This is so interesting, thank you!

[@chasingwater520]

Intriguing insight. If I may ask- what were the happy towns? and which was the bitter one? I love surfing and fishing in the region. Always wondered about living there in the future.

[@heythave]

Yes, I would love to know which are the happy towns also. I was just in Kochi last month, walking through the Sunday Market and tasting the sweet potato fries. They were so good. I would like to travel through the region again in the future.

[@smudgepost]

Very interesting perspective. Now I'm wondering about 'happy towns' that don't have the Osaka vibe. My only knowledge of Osaka are a culture of jōhatsu from the 80's boom/bust.

[@suzannes783]

Very well done, important and honest. I'm both an expat and Cultural Anthropologist, and too often content creators over-glamourize what the realities are of living in a culture/country very different from the one they grew up in. The challenges are 10 fold if a foreigner doesn't speak the local language. Moreover, no matter how long a 'foreigner' lives in their new adopted country, even if they speak the language fluently and become a citizen, that person will always be 'a foreigner'. Psychologically, this can be very difficult. This is true for every country on the planet, not just Japan. I have multiple citizenships and haven't lived in the US in over 20 years, yet I am constantly asked "where is home?" by a disappointed audience who doesn't understand that it's not the United States. I'm also at a point where 'home' has become a very abstract idea. But for the right sorts of people, like myself who are willing to go through a myriad of difficulties and be prepared to be learn completely new things about the world and themselves - it's great. Hard, often lonely and scary - but it's a life I've carved out for myself that I wouldn't trade for anything. But it's a choice that most people wouldn't adapt well to, and I say that without judgement. It's really hard.

[@ellies6563]

Do you think this might be why a lot of much older expats, who settled abroad many years ago, have a hankering to return to their “motherland “? At the end of your life maybe make like a salmon? 😆 Having lived abroad it feels like the many, almost invisible and infinitely subtle differences are what becomes tiring. The easily explained cultural ways and practices are a doddle to adapt to

[@aviewer9516]

Not unlike how Asian Americans feel living in the US and being asked, 'but where are you REALLY from?'

[@travelworklife717]

I completely agreed with you on that.

[@ともこともこ-k3r]

USA is White&Black country. Asians cannot be American, no matter how fluent they are in English, and American society treats Asians as if they don't exist. Just because they are Asian, they are socially discriminated against, including having their scores deducted from university entrance exams and not being given the opportunity to receive an education. Discrimination against Asians is a daily joke.

[@theawesomeperson12]

I have accepted a job and will move to Japan here soon, to Kyoto, and I really appreciate the groundedness of this video to kind of calm the hype and fantasy that I’ve been steeped in as I prepare to go

[@sleeplessstu]

A very honest and thorough view of life in Japan ! I have lived in Japan off and on for many years. Fortunately I don’t struggle so much with the (expected) long days in a corporate office but, getting the small (seemingly simple) tasks done has often been a challenge. I have found that changing my mindset to one of humility and then dealing with each of these situations with a healthy dose of ironic humor goes a long way. Nowadays I can just brush it off and smile while filling out the required paperwork (multiple times) knowing that the poor clerk who’s processing said paperwork is undoubtedly having a much worse and stressful day than I am. 😅 A smile and a good attitude goes a long way toward cutting through the red tape. (Giving someone a word of encouragement might be the only one they receive all day 😉). Wasn’t it charming how all of your colleagues pitched in to help you with the paperwork ? 🥰. THAT’s the Japanese spirit. People will often go out of their way to help you. THEY know it’s ridiculous too, but are willing to help each other win the crazy battles 😉. Despite the ridiculously superfluous procedures required in Japan, somehow the society functions smoothly. Things just “work” in Japan and you’ll rarely encounter the myriad of problems you face in the USA on a daily basis. I’m getting so tired of the chaos in America. Housing, food, and the overall cost of living puts such a strain on the average American. I’ll be retiring in Japan this year. I just love how people treat each other with respect. I love the excellent service, and it’s nice to be able to afford a meal in a restaurant once in a while. It’s nice to have the luxury of riding a clean, quiet, punctual train to almost anywhere you want to go. No more traffic jams and no more risking your life on an American freeway. I’m done ! I’m moving inside the Japanese “bubble” 😉

[@bitsii]

For those who can manage, I think it’s a great place to retire. Enjoy 😊 thanks for the thoughtful comment.

[@sbaumgartner9848]

Good for you.

[@chandraregan5847]

I'm curious as to how you can retire in Japan. What kind of visa do you get?

[@sleeplessstu]

@@chandraregan5847 well, in my case, it’s a spousal visa (my wife of 40 years is Japanese) but there are definitely other avenues. I’ve met many professionals who have worked in Japan for many years and have obtained or maintain some special skill or have a managerial position that allows them to remain in Japan. There are lots of Filipinos and Chinese (for example) who came to work in Japan and after a certain number of years were allowed to apply for permanent residency. (Not sure of the rules) There might also be some kind of investment visa also but I’m not familiar with that topic at all.

[@sleeplessstu]

@@bitsii By the way, I love how you so perfectly articulate the Japanese experience. 😁 I found myself giggling uncontrollably with your witty way of describing your experiences. I loved your tea party story 😂. I too have been made into a foreign “prop” on occasion, but I definitely have “unhealthy thick skin” so it never really bothered me 😋. I’m somewhat of a loner and introvert and have never really had the desire to fit in to Japanese society (just call me a happy perennial tourist) but I definitely understand the frustration of people who seek to be accepted into the hive. Finding a true friend who wants to know you as a person can definitely be a challenge sometimes, but I DO think this will change over time (I’ll remain the optimist 😉). Thanks again for your wonderfully curated content !

[@claremiller9979]

This is a wonderfully thoughtful reflection, and you've actually made me appreciate and realise something I hadn't considered in nearly twenty years. I lived in Japan for a year teaching English, and being a brash Australian who is also an Army Reservist, and definitely not a people-pleaser, I have that unhealthy thick skin you mentioned - as a result, and from the help of my lovely colleagues at the local council and the schools I worked at, I had an easy time. I know I did things they didn't like (like take sick leave when I was sick, and not work extra hours) but I know i was only there for a year so it never bothered me. I wasn't trying to fit in, in fact 22 year old me saw myself as an ambassador for the Aussie way 😂 some of the kids might have had their minds opened! I lived in rural Japan too, so I was a wild thing on many levels to my neighbours. On the flip side, a friend of mine from the UK taught in the next town over and had a much harder time. I know she felt that pressure you spoke of, and her colleagues were on the whole far less helpful - her predecessor had been Vietnamese and fluent in Japanese, whereas she was English and could speak hardly any. She felt the need to fit in more and whilst I encouraged her to basically ignore the annoying stuff, I can see now all these years later how hard that would have been for her - she's not me! I'm so weird, even in my own country I'm very blunt and she just isn't like that All to say, thank you bitsii for sharing your experiences, they are fascinating in their beauty and honesty. I know I couldn't live in Japan, I did it and I enjoyed it because I knew that I would go home.

[@cori_in_the_pnw]

Bitsii, thank you for this video. I’ve lived in rural Japan twice in my life. The first time was in the early 90s, and so much of what you’re saying was true. I too am tall/big and fitting into a society where you physically stick out (not just culturally stick out) is challenging. That being said, I would move back to Japan in a heartbeat if I could figure out a way to do it.

[@chandraregan5847]

I spent 6 and a half years living in Japan. I was teaching English and bible at a Christian center. I absolutely loved teaching. My students were so kind! I didn't work for a Japanese boss, so I think that my outlook is different. But, I did notice that the longer I lived there as a single, the more difficult it was for me to deal with loneliness. And, yes, it is stressful living with the constant threat of natural disasters. There are many inconveniences that make everything take longer to just accomplish daily tasks. When I lived in Japan the banks all closed at 3 p.m. I still have many fond memories and dear friends in Japan. There is much I miss there. But, all you say is true that life can be very stressful in a different culture where you will always be considered as a foreigner. I think that humbly accepting that as a fact of life in Japan helps a lot in learning to cope with the differences.

[@dionelr]

Thanks for sharing your experiences! There are many unspoken rules and expectations that can catch you off guard for sure. I myself have been blamed for things (not sorting trash properly comes to mind) where I was always the first one asked, and even when I was proven innocent time and again, it kept coming up (my landlord called me one time and had this awkward conversation where it was just assumed I was at fault). Not to mention the amount of times I had to fax something, fill out a paper form to purchase a printer, and I never figured out how to buy things online. It's definitely not all sunshine and ramen.... I mean there's also soba, and tonkatsu.

[@arseniamcglasson5014]

THANK YOU! VERY WELL SAID! I'm Asian American and I relates to everything you said. When I moved here in US I knew right away that I had to adjust everything in a big way, environment, People, language, food, my accent 😂, American accent (I love Southern accent), and many more. Still learning even though been here more than 30 years. I never expected or think that my American home would adjusted to my way of thinking. In my own opinion, I adjusted very well because of acceptance, learning and compromised. Very Grateful to live and called this country my Home. I hope you find Love and Happiness in Japan!🙏

[@mafurock33]

Hi there! I lived in Japan for 12 years. I just want to say I am so happy you backed out of that tea party thing. You did the right thing. I was too scared to have healthy boundaries. Weird, manipluative, exploitative stuff like that happens, especially to foreigners in rural areas and you don't have to put up with it just because you are trying to be a decent person in another culture. I can guarantee that if you had gone through with it, the floodgates would have opened. This video was both extremely triggering and extremely cathartic for me to see. Thank you for sharing.

[@libertyblueskyes2564]

Wonderful and informative video on your personal view of adapting to a culture that is complicated, beautiful and magic ! I always enjoy your narratives, your perspectives and seeing your beautiful face at the end.

[@lynda.grace.14]

Thank you for this honest and insightful summation of conditions for non-nationals who live or wish to live in Japan. Beautifully and sensitively done. That said, anyone planning to live in Japan long term will likely have to experience what you have articulated before fully understanding all that you've shared. There's a good deal of romantic fog concerning life in Japan that quickly burns off. Individuals' personalities, abilities to adapt and thrive in Japan will be different and somewhat dependent on the nature and status of their work, their geographical location, as well as the gap between cultures and ethnicities from which they originate. It's usually more challenging for women than men or anyone looking to belong to a culture for which they have a deep love. Easier for individuals who understand that and don't mind that they never will.

[@exploringlife738]

This is the core of it! "It's usually more challenging for women than men or anyone looking to belong to a culture for which they have a deep love. Easier for individuals who understand that and don't mind that they never will." Very profoundly grasped.

[@lynda.grace.14]

Thank you. For myself, though I am not a Buddhist, I find the Buddhist approach of acceptance the most rewarding. I accept (often with considerable relief) that I am non-Japanese and do not expect or long to be embraced by the nationals I meet. I believe we connect deeply with a handful of people in our lifetimes. Many non-Japanese who are deeply moved by Japanese culture expect to forge profound connections in Japan and disparage connections with other expats. I believe their experience of Japan could be much richer if they'd retire such expectations and limitations. Stay open to connection in whatever form it manifests. @@exploringlife738

[@John_Manning]

Interesting and well thought out video. Some of these topics are relevant to occasional visitors too. When I'm in Tokyo I regularly visit the same Izakaya and am now viewed by the staff as a regular. In December last year it was made clear (though in the typical Japanese indirect way) that using the gaijin card would no longer be acceptable. I would now be expected to behave exactly as all Japanese regulars would, like announce my arrival and request a place at the bar instead of just swinging in and choosing my own place. Once I mastered this and other things the atmosphere changed up for me.

[@sbaumgartner9848]

Thanks John.

[@kathysterndahl3134]

I went to Japan for six months in 2002. I experienced much of what you talked about (but no internet yet). Fortunately, I had a Japanese friend who helped me through most of my problems. Also, I was there to travel and just absorb the experience. That went very well. I would have stayed and gotten a job teaching English for a few years, but family problems at home changed my mind.

[@samanthaturner1836]

Great video! It's important to consider things from multiple perspectives! Despite being so different from Western Cultures one thing sticks out to me that seem to be universal. People have set expectations. No matter where you are in the world, folks will walk into a room or answer a phone call with their pre-determined expectations of you, of your culture and background, of how they want things to go, etc. I guess what matters then isn't their expectations, but how you choose to conduct yourself despite them! I hope in the sea of positives and negatives you continue to forge your unique path/life in Japan Bitsii! Thank you again for being willing to share a slice of it with all of us across the world. :)

[@中村光一-r9r]

あなたの幸せを願っています。

[@LenaExplores]

Thank you so much for talking about these topics, I don't hear people talk about it much.

[@isagoldfield7393]

I really appreciate your transparency, thank you!! Hope things get better for you🌼🌷🌿Your subs from Portland, Oregon🌹☀️🍀

[@jern-nd-co]

Your experience is so fascinating to me because coming from south east asia then moving to scandinavia it was an opposite experience for me I struggled a lot because showing so much respect to people with authority was instilled to us since at a young age so when I moved to the west a decade ago I was like whaat🤯!?!you can address your boss or someone older than you by their first name and you be won't be damned for eternity😅😅😅

[@bitsii]

Ha!!!

[@lalalou123.]

​@@bitsii Μία χώρα που ονειρεύομαι χρόνια τώρα και δεν μπορώ να σας καταλάβω γιατί δεν έχετε στο κανάλι σας μετάφραση. Μπορείτε να βάλετε ελληνικά?

[@bitsii]

@lalalou123 θα πρέπει να υπάρχει μια επιλογή αυτόματης μετάφρασης. Είναι διαθέσιμο?

[@saltygravy6928]

Thank you for the video. Thank you also for being honest and open about the social challenges you find yourself faced with.

[@arabellakarrington8211]

I have been thinking about this video a lot. I have had similar and different experiences living in Japan’s countryside. What I am going to write is only my feelings based upon what I have experienced. As a little background my husband and I were both born and raised in America. We have been living in Japan for the last 8 years and before that, we lived in Singapore, China, Korea, and Taiwan. Like Bitsii says, “Japanese is spoken in Japan and all the websites are in Japanese.” It can be frustrating. It is difficult. My feeling is that I chose to live in Japan and so it is my obligation to learn the language of the country. In contrast, I have heard Americans complain that if people who do not speak English want to live in America, they should learn English. Most Americans only speak English, and most US websites are in English. It is true that natural disasters in Japan are frequent, and this is something I also worry about. One thing that comforts me is how Japan has an expansive natural disaster infrastructure/support network. For example, our Japanese friend was trying to volunteer after the last earthquake, but all the spots were filled online within one minute. It is great to see Japanese people support each other in times of need. I have lived in many places, one of them was in California. I was very scared of earthquakes there as well - and now there are also wildfires in California and Seattle. The hurricanes in New Orleans and Florida were awful as well. I grew up in the Midwest where we had regular tornado drills in elementary school. Compared to everywhere I have lived, I have had many more kind experiences interacting with Japanese people. As you might expect, I have had some difficult experiences as well, like Bitsii, but they are not limited to one location. I have experienced kindness and unkindness in all the countries where I have lived. I would love to hear more funny stories that Bitsii posts. It was a wonderful video, very thought provoking.

[@BubbleLandia]

Enjoyed this very much, would love more stories of difficult etiquette expectations.

[@elizabethboccabello5119]

The bills thing is VERY real. My bank closes at 3pm so I usually have to take a chunk out of my lunch break to pay my water bill.

[@heythave]

No autopay?

[@sbaumgartner9848]

Thanks for sharing. Every country is different re norms. I lived in Egypt for four years. Only when we live in a different country and become aware of the subtle and not so subtle differences are we aware of how our native country formed our views of what we consider normal and correct ways of living. I agree with you. Japan is an amazing country that has managed to survive through difficult times and thrive. The last thing I want is for Japan to become a carbon copy of Canada or the USA.

[@ET-cj8jo]

Did you learn to speak Japanese ? If you are in business then it is essential to know how to speak politely. When university students get their first job in commerce they usually spend six months learning how to speak according to who they are speaking to (ie keigo). That is how it is in Japan. I have been in Japan for 32 years and nowadays it is much easier for foreigners compared to when I first arrived. It is now quite possible to get loans, avoid paper, and so on. Japan is rapidly becoming a paperless society. I can't quite understand why you are having such struggles with daily matters. I agree you have been associating with some disagreeable people who seem to just want to use you. I was used like that once when i first came to Japan as an academic; it was a kind of moral blackmail. But I just avoided those people after that (which I fortunately could do). I have also been subjected to racism and other disagreeable matters in Japan, but those things occur in my home country too (UK), and in much more overt and very unsubtle ways. In the most part, the Japanese people are kind and considerate, and it is better to look at that and not dwell on nasty people. There are 120 million people in Japan and thus there are bound to be a few unpleasant ones. I live half my life in the Japanese countryside (Nagano-ken) and half in the city (Tokyo); I cannot say that country people are more conservative, because I have met some quite stuck up, snobby, narrow-minded, arrogant and unintelligent people in the city. Indeed, countryside people are far more friendly, though it helps considerably if you can speak Japanese because they are often very shy. As a comparison, I find the British people to be a pompous, arrogant, selfish mob stuck in a class-ridden society all peering next door and wanting to be one step up the society ladder, which is the reason I left there in 1974 (I went to Australia which has none of those attributes). If you go to a foreign country, especially one as differnt as Japan, you must be prepared to communicate at their level, so learn the language.

[@ic7846]

I've kind of always felt as a foreigner in my own country so I didn't struggle with that while living in Japan. The language and mental health is rough though.

[@cherrypi_b]

A very good and interesting video, detailed and well-spoken. I'm a very direct person (German here), and I like efficiency, so I guess I would get definitely into trouble :D But visiting Japan, at least, will still be one of my goals. Have a happy spring weekend!

[@heythave]

Just having to deal with the paperwork alone will set you to grinding your teeth. 😁

[@AlessioB]

Randomly stumbled into this video and I must admit the way the problems are laid down and explained, albeit from a very Northern American perspective (pretty evident in the conflict between individualistic and communalistic standards), is optimal. This is not the first video that I watch summarising these issues, and also many foreigners in Japan I encountered pointed out these things. One thing that always lacks though is the perspective from the Japanese side: what's described here are negative aspects of Japanese society *for Japanese people as well*. And most of them, at least in my limited experience, are fully aware of them. And a limited amount of these people are also vocal in criticizing them, or at least pointing them out. So it would be nice to see that acknowledged every once in a while, to avoid creating an even bigger distance between foreign and Japanese cultures, that often go along with a sense of entitlement for those foreigners who managed to settle in by going through the same hardship pattern that others (including Japanese people) went through. I think it is just fare to recognize the flawed aspects of this society that are also recognised by locals, and possibly work with them for a change when living in Japan.

[@HallaDita]

"Sunshine and ramen" - nice 👌 I loved the video for both content and the daffodils with David shots. The flowers reminded me mural you did on your previous house in almost every shot. When we moved to the countryside we also got some invitations to participate in local community. Luckily it wasn't anything like your tea-hosting party.

[@bitsii]

Daffodils are my favorite flower 💛

[@aleksandrgrechko5749]

Could you please publish some video about sourcing grocery and another common goods around your area. Thank you

[@jewelj7507]

Nice to see your face! Thanks also for the really useful info

[@FunkyKiwi7]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and knowledge.

[@WiscoMel]

Oh that dress… I can’t believe they expected that whole outfit to work

[@ZaydaFleming]

I am tall, tattooed, and can’t learn other languages well to save my life. I am not a good candidate for moving abroad, particularly to a culture with such different interpersonal expectations… But I love watching your videos and I like the idea of visiting even though I would probably mortify everyone i came in contact with even with my best attempts at honoring the method 😅

[@janna-in-japan]

I love this video. The "name" difficulties and Japanese forms resonate with me so much! I can't count how many times I've had problems because my name is too long. 😆 Thank you for sharing these with us Bitsii.

[@startpage717]

Totally agree with SELF CARE...one of my female Japanese friends almost went off the "map" because of this lack of belief and seriously continued with others first...She was saved, but that was in 2008, and you put this vlog out a day or so ago...WOW, little has changed in that sector...I love to visit, and I still do. I enjoy studying the language...I never had plans to live there, and thank you for the vlog...

[@bpelectric]

Middle names are such a massive pain here. We've had dozens of things not work out because of this exact issue. Latest was trying to sign up for an ETC (highway toll) card. They can't reconcile that my bank and residence card don't agree (one requires my middle name and the other explicitly forbade it).

[@bitsii]

It’s such a hassle! Why is this still an issue in 2024!

[@casshernbr5412]

@@bitsiiany hopes to change it sson? 😂

[@bitsii]

I doubt the systems will change anytime soon! Sorry!

[@casshernbr5412]

@@bitsii I am living in China and I was thinking to move to Japan, but seems is a hard place with a high level of loneliness. 😢

[@rootytootymailbox2043]

That dress story is hilarious! Thanks for sharing.

[@lulubelle0bresil]

Congrats on this very necessry and very informative video! 👏👏👏👏👏

[@lhooq]

Excellent clarity. Love you much.

[@salvationindustries]

I believe that because you live in rural Japan you experience the culture in a more old fashioned/tranditional way. Even in rural areas in my country you can see that the people there seem close minded and stubborn compared to people in large cities. You seem to be managing though. Best of luck!

[@cecilearquette1637]

Very thoughtful, interesting piece!

[@corriemcclain7960]

To be honest, as a non binary autistic person, moving to Japan never seemed like a good plan plan for me. I love to learn about it, and enjoy all the videos and love how beautiful it is, but honestly, the more I learn, the more I think I could not even visit without sometime of full time support/translator/ guide

[@sushigamer2474]

I am Japanese and working as an IT engineer in Japan. I am also interested in your lifestyle. I need to change my lifestyle so that I do not need a high salary to live in Japan. Japan is a very inexpensive country. I have to give up earning money to live. If our guys are ready to do that, you can live with low rent and low cost of living. Of course, the Japanese government will be looking for rich people. By all means, please check with them about Japanese visas and public health insurance.

[@ellies6563]

Me too! I’m fascinated by Japan but I can’t even get social and nuanced communication right in my country of birth 😂

[@guanxinated]

Yeah, it's tough because of all the cultural nuances. Visiting shouldn't be much of a problem, though, as they (generally) have pretty good customer service and (generally) try to be helpful. Plus, you can plan everything in advance to make sure you have a pleasant experience.

[@jonattanpichardo8655]

More stories plz and thk you

[@waterfallsandrain]

Excellent video, very informative!

[@louisenilsson8951]

For me moving to America from Sweden They couldn't accept that in Sweden what you call the middle name is often the given name in Sweden . So my names Maria Louise in that order but my given name is Louise. I have to put up with now being called Maria in any official paperwork and clinics. When my name is called out I sometimes forget. It is extremely annoying. Lots of things in America is annoying and many Americans think that America is the standard for the rest of the world. The date is written in the opposite way from what I grew up with. The day is written before the month in Sweden. If it is march 4th it will be 04-03-24. Also they can't understand that I have an accent being from another country. All Countries are different.

[@bitsii]

Oh yeah and it’s the only place that uses imperial measurement system. 📐

[@analysisonlight605]

I love watching your videos. I would like to hear more stories like the tea party incident. What I have learned is don't say "yes" to anything until you have a good understanding of the culture. I would love to visit Japan. I have heard that the Japanese culture is the most copied culture (or a form of it) around the world. I think if someone moved there they could be very successful if they realized it is all about respect. If I moved there, I would have to keep in mind that I was moving to a place that required strict formality. I would have to have a great level of respect for the elders and any supervisors; and even though I do not have a tendency to feel shame, I would have to be sensitive to the fact that the people there do. This means I would have to word things very carefully when I was speaking to people. I work in the scientific industry, so following different rules and formality is something that i am use to. I will say that tea party incident you went through had to be a nightmare. Thanks for the information.

[@salier4184]

Thanks Bitsii, for giving us both the up and down sides of moving to Japan. The cultural difference between Japan and the US can be a low-level stress if you try too hard to fit in… Maybe just relax and allow yourself to be an American that just moved to Japan. Anyone new to a foreign country would need time to learn and adjust to the changes, and slowly let the cultural differences become more familiar. Over time, it’ll seep in and click. As a 65+ year old woman, it would be harder for me to acclimate, I’m sure. Still, I’m curious about how it might be to move to Japan, Italy, or France…. Of course, I like the idea to find a rental at a low cost! Can you point me in the right direction? Take care! 😊

[@heythave]

You need to visit Japan first. See how you like each city. Then figure where you want to settle for a long time.

[@heythave]

Without knowing each area, it is like asking where in the US can I get an inexpensive rental? Yes, but where? Kansas? Or Florida? Japan is different from one area to another like the US. Hokkaido snows like crazy and Okinawa is like Hawaii.

[@sbaumgartner9848]

Bitsii, if you don't mine I'm mentioning the KZbin Channel "Life Where I'm From". It's run by a Canadian married to a Japanese woman; they live in Tokyo with their two children. I enjoy the videos he produces about life in Japan. I also like to watch Peter Barakan talk about a wide range of topics about Japan on NHK World-Japan. Barakan speaks fluent Japanese and is a well known broadcaster with a background in music.

[@PwningGerZ]

He’s not in Japan. He’s only filming here in Japan but they live in Canada now with their kids. Maybe when their kids decide to study in Japan for college they’ll be back.

[@Hoolysegoo]

Great explanation! I work in a very much... results speak volumes. It's all about the results, rarely the method. I think I would struggle there as I am used to being rushed to show the results and not the method behind it. If you have some specific experiences regarding methodology of situation where you have to change your mindset to understand, please do tell them!

[@bitsii]

I still struggle with it. Focus on the method comes across as micromanage-ey which I have a huge distaste for. My first reaction is to say “hey stop micromanaging me.” Also, I have a “driver” personality type according to some random corporate personality test I took years ago - but the primary characteristic of this type is the complete tasks. Focus on results. Keep going. So it might be a double-whammy of cultural and personal opposing approaches. Haven’t figured it out yet. But if I do someday, sure! Will share. Thanks for being here!

[@exploringlife738]

I think of it as two different kinds of methodologies, like improvisational modern dance versus ballet. Both have value and merits, but one relies on developing and being comfortable with crafting and adjusting approaches for a unique production, the other to working within formal processes and methods to build upon shared experience. Exposure to one or the other from a young age, along with inherent personality types, means there will be some preference and level of comfort one way or the other. For so many who are open to both types of "dance," though, it can still be challenging to sort out how to bring parts of them together without clashing or losing the joy of meshing the two in a way that is amenable to both approaches.

[@bitsii]

@exploringlife738 that’s an awesome metaphor!!!

[@antisocialist2244]

Please more stories like the renaissance tea😊

[@jesseco9964]

More stories like the costume one please.

[@bitsii]

Roger that 🫡

[@Mr.Blessed.]

Your content is pleasant ☺️

[@limeycotts]

This is a great video. May I ask what you do for work in Japan? You referenced your colleagues and I foolishly realized that of course you do other things than make KZbin videos for income.

[@bitsii]

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. I’m a content creator now but I started my time in Japan teaching English.

[@limeycotts]

@@bitsii That's awesome, thanks Bitsii. 🙂

[@cupoft9917]

Great vid. I've a lot of thoughts. But for myself learning this culture is important not because of fitting in. I believe in being decent above all and good things may follow. This is important because this brings peace. Many positive traditional ways have stood the test of time. Not like all the western cultures I've experienced. Like I already said, I'd like to learn a few examples are traditional carpentry, gardening, archery and restore any of these Gyoka, Sanka Noka and these experiences will connect you with like minded people either directly or indirectly. The Internet is important but TV's aren't for me. Having a forever home and feeling safe I believe Japan is the place for me.

[@aeolia80]

I lived in Korea for 5 years, so I might be a little skewed to info I got there, but I was at a museum once in Jinju and they talked a bit about the Japanese occupation and WWII and how Japan was perceived after, and obviously there was a bias there, but they showed current Japanese history text books, ones that were pushed into the curriculum of public schools in Japan, and they are super nationalistic and not just gloss over bad things the Japanese government did in the past but left it out completely like nothing happened, almost like Japan was a neutral country during that time instead of one of the major players. It makes me think about right now Japanese filmmakers wanting to make movies in response to Oppenheimer, as like a "let's give the Japanese perspective", but I'm worried they won't show Japan accurately, sure they'll show the struggles of the civilians what were harmed in the bombings, which they should, but they won't show why the allies were pushed to even consider going that far, there was a reason

[@ace4718]

Hello, I recently came across your channel and really resonate with your content. Is there anyway I can PM you? Thanks

[@bitsii]

Hi! Sure. Instagram. @bitsii_in_inaka

[@ace4718]

@@bitsii thanks unfortunately I don’t have IG :( but I wanted to know what’s the visa process like? How would I go about gaining work? Would it need to be done prior to entering the country?

[@bitsii]

@ace4718 Lots of different scenarios. You can enter on a tourist visa and switch to a different visa later. japanremotely.com/ offers free advice and they are more qualified to answer your questions than I am. ;)

[@ace4718]

@@bitsii awesome I appreciate it! Also if I wanted to stay for 2 months I’m I able to rent a home in the country side as a tourist?

[@bitsii]

@ace4718 not likely for short-term rentals in the countryside but go check out Benton homestead for a rural airbnb

[@patbarlen2764]

Ty for this content.

[@ornleifs]

Oh my god . . that Tea party story - it was both hilarious and horrifying at the same time, the level of cultural ignorance and the entitlement of those tea hosts is astounding.

[@billihodosi9713]

I’ve always wanted to move to Japan and I find this video very discouraging

[@zamis21]

What is the Trap for?

[@bitsii]

Wild boar

[@zamis21]

@@bitsiiThank you. I don't know which would be worse to run into, a wild boar or a Bear.

[@kingmaafa120]

In summary SA KO KU 😮 Sakoku (鎖国) DON’T FORGET & NEVER FORGET as a foreigner you just passing thru - heed to this advice you’ll be 👍 Don’t think it applies to you Tell em you leaving see who 🛑 you 😅

[@AmandadeOliveira]

I have a midle name and 2 last names. Can't even imagine that working out for me. Hahaha

[@sweepauto]

for the emails does everyone CCed need to respond that they got the email? that's could he a lot of peole

[@CB-sx8xh]

I have a middle name and a German surname which would be impossible for a Japanese person to pronounce 😂

[@limeycotts]

🙂

[@bitsii]

Thank you for this

[@lunalui]

15:53 I hope you are now married to that person. 😊

[@stephenfreeman8617]

I can’t believe how slow things take. Ps you have covered everything except superstition and some or most Japanese decide major decisions 🤨

[@Limastudent]

Superstition is a large part of Japanese life, I found. I stumbled over that many times with expectations of me based on superstition that I couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams. One example was my housemate was very angry at me because I did not put two mounds of purification salt at the doorway when he returned from a funeral.

[@susanravella6261]

Work/ self care balance is not within the purview of any employer, but the personal responsibility of the individual. I'm not saying self care is not important, just that an individual must be accountable in determining the proper environment in which an acceptable balance can be established. Corporations and bosses are not parents, will not overlook shoddiness, nor support you in times of need. I shudder to think of the amount of personal freedom that would need to be sacrificed in such a system. Remember, please, this is no criticism of you or your opinion, because I understand the sentiment, but having worked in one such "compassionate" workplace, I would never recommend it.

[@bitsii]

The service expectation isn’t just at the workplace. It’s to any person higher on the social hierarchy. Every family member, neighbor, classmate, etc.

[@missjokingcat]

The primary accountability for work/life balance and self care should be on the individual but it is very difficult to practice unless the individual either has a passive income or works for a stable, non-toxic environment. If workplaces didn't have any accountability to help their employers be able to continue working then why does sick leave, bereavement leave, parental leave and annual leave exist? Even from a financial standpoint employers have a lot to lose if overworked, burnt out employees make too many mistakes or submit shoddy work, if sick employees take the whole office out of commission and if experienced and competent exployees leave the company for rivals that offers better support for work-life balance. Where I'm from acculumating too much annual leave is actually a financial liability for your employer. There is definetely a public perception that companies, who are in a position of power over employees, are partially accountable for the overall health of their employees. E.g. I often see media scandals of companies pushing too much "crunch time" on vulnerable employees. I've had support from my workplace to work four days a week when I was burnt out and it did not result in any loss of personal freedom. My managers have taken weeks off to care for dying parents. We are encouraged not to do overtime. My experience is not universal but I am not the only person who would prefer a workplace that is supportive of work-life balance than one that isn't.

[@bitsii]

@missjokingcat When an associate asked if my former [American] employer would consider extending paternal leave, the CEO responded to the national meeting, “we will provide the minimum legal allowance for maternity leave as set by federal government.” Whether or not this was an acceptable amount, I found this response to be dehumanizing. I’m glad you have found an employer that cares about your wellbeing at least to some extent.

[@riseandshinejp]

The deeper into the mountains you go the harder it is. Even Japanese find it hard, which is why they are letting the countryside die off. City Japanese don't want to participate in those old ways way out in the countryside. They paid a young family move to the smallest village in Japan, to promote the idea of moving to the countryside. They just made the guy's life miserable, and he shockingly talked about it which was a a big scandal for a while. They paid and invited him there! Then they just bullied the heck out of him, until he couldn't take it.

[@deathdoor]

What a pain.

[@sunnysideup33]

Great video. Can I ask a question please? What about feminism? Maybe in another video. Am I wrong, when I think poor japanese woman are living like in the 50's still, but they have to work like woman in the modern world?

[@bitsii]

Actually im planning a video about being a woman in Japan! Stay tuned!

[@sunnysideup33]

Very happy to read that. Have a lovely day ✌️

[@kuraisiruru1794]

I often hear about how we don't have any right to tell Japan how to live or say that they should change. But this video is mostly showing me why Japan is in decline. Which would mean that they might NEED to change if they want to continue to be a country. Sometimes change is good, sometimes hearing outside perspectives is a good thing. I'm not saying to totally ditch their thousands of years of history and tradition or anything like that, but maybe seeing how westerners act and how we are doing better as countries than they are will show that they need to make small cultural changes if they want to survive and continue to promote and enjoy their traditions and history. The main things being that results don't matter as much as method, and having to do things even if you don't actually care to or know why you are doing it because it's just what has always been done. This is resulting in the declining birthrate, low productivity, the inaka being slowly more and more abandoned. I understand wanting to keep tradition and keep doing things the way they always have, but it seems to me as though if they continue that the way they have, there may no longer be anyone left to keep those traditions alive.

[@antisocialist2244]

Would you say xenophobia is a factor in Japanese attitudes towards foreigners?

[@bitsii]

I looked up xenophobia to make sure I’m addressing this properly. It said “dislike of or prejudice against people from other countries.” Do people here dislike people from other countries? Yes and no. They dislike when people act freely, ignoring Japanese cultural expectations. There are many people around me who love me very much, but would also be happier if I acted more Japanese. The other level is that people here where I am dislike Japanese people from other clans or communities - seeing them as outsiders and untrustworthy. But Japanese people from other clans have the opportunity to assimilate and blend in eventually. Foreign people will never be accepted at this level. Do people here hold prejudice against people from other countries? Yes. Foreign people are turned away from jobs, housing, and opportunities because they are foreign. I haven’t directly experience housing or job discrimination but it’s a known thing across Japan and I’ve heard stories from other foreign people who’ve directly experienced job discrimination in particular.

[@libertyblueskyes2564]

Its understandable because of Japan's feudal history; Japan was closed off to all foreigners for a couple of hundred years. The culture became involuted, turned in on itself. Due to strict codes such as samarai, women and eta lived under, death was often preferable to breaking those codes.

[@brendankishketon]

I didn’t understand your discussion about the Great Divide. What are you saying here? Don’t try to contribute to society? Or that your way of contributing to Japanese society may not be their way?

[@winifredclarke1977]

Yeah, I know it already I'm livng in the UK and wishing to living in Finland or Denmark ❤ Ps next time try AI chatGPT for translate, then fill up the form then ask for translate and copy and paste. Much more easier and convenient like useless Google translate 😉

[@cherrywood5187]

The point proves that coexistence with all kinds of natural disasters makes this nation be toughest people all over the world. At the same time, the Japanese are a homogenous group, so diversity may be a strange thing to them.

[@23Lgirl]

Most country's are homogenous.

[@akneemoose3383]

I have a name that is male. Throw that into the mix….not fun.

[@veronicab15]

Sounds like a self centered society, ironically enough.

[@deezynar]

Methods are more important than results. That is something I have not heard about Japan before, but it really fits with all the other things I have heard. It sounds insane to a Westerner. My take on the Japanese is that they have only been free of feudalism for a little over 100 years. Up until recently nearly everyone lived under a hierarchical system that would kill anyone who did not kiss butt fast enough, or in the exact way it's supposed to be done. That fear of death seems to have carried on in current life. It's not that they actually fear being killed by a samurai for not getting out of his way fast enough, but the extreme grip they have on following rules appears to be a hold-over of the coping skills they developed to deal with their fear. In the old feudalistic system, if a guy was thought to be disrespectful and any thought came up that his family may be supporting his behavior would be enough for his family to be killed too. And they wouldn't just stop there, they'd kill off entire villages of serfs for some offense that would be considered a non-event in the U.S. today. Japanese people had to bond together and cooperate in butt kissing or they may all be killed. Because of that, anyone who looked as if they were not willing to follow the rules would get harshly scolded by his fellows for putting everyone else at risk. I think the Japanese would take a giant leap forward if they were all given loaded handguns and told to wear them everywhere they go. It would wake them up to the fact that they are no longer serfs. Everyone would have the power of a samurai to take life instantly. They would be appropriately frightened by that, but they would also realize that they are not inferiors, they are equals who have power. They are not going to all get handguns, but they all should get a lecture about how they look like cowering fools who haven't figured out that the threat they let dominate them doesn't exist anymore.

[@libertyblueskyes2564]

That has worked out so well in the USA. At least Japan doesn't constantly have mass killings in schools and theaters and ball games.

[@deezynar]

@@libertyblueskyes2564 You ignored my point entirely to focus on a toss off portion of what I said. Plus, you chose to have 'liberty' as part of your YT name and have no idea what it means and place no value on it. The Japanese have liberty available to them, their constitution and laws make liberty their legal right. And yet, their historic culture deprives them of it. You need to go into your job at 7:00 in the morning and stay there until 9:00 at night every workday, and then tell me that you think you have liberty. They are imprisoned by their minds and nothing else. Prescribe an antidote for them.

[@qtdcanada]

@@deezynar You come across as either naiive and/or ignorant of the fact that 'solutions' to one country's society tend to NOT work in another. Also, where did you get your idea of the Japanese living (indirectly) in fear. Have you visited Japan and interacted with Japanese? Given the harsh natural environment (with constant threats of earthquake, volcanic eruption, typhoon, landslide, etc.), as well as scarce natural resources, Japanese people have over centuries set up their society as collectivist, where individuals contribute to the success of the group; in such a setup there are naturally rules -- both written and in the case of Japan unwritten. I have personally observed my friends (Professors) and their graduate students that would allow me to say their interactions (including having meals together) were not based on fear; rather, they seem to have an understanding hard-coded into their DNA of where the boundaries for acceptable behavior for different groups & ranks (whatever you might call). These interactions are quite different from those typically seen in Western universities where professors have a lot of power over graduate students.

[@deezynar]

@@qtdcanada You believe that collectivism and individualism are at odds when it comes to getting things done for society even though the individuals in the U.S., the most individualistic country in the world have consistently worked together to solve problems and overcome challenges facing the whole. And you somehow didn't pause on my first sentence, which was a quote from the video. It is an observation made by the video maker that in Japan, methods are more important than results. You need to stop and meditate on that before you write anything in response. And let me point out that the United States is a shadow of its former self after almost 100 years of attack by Leftism. The country is not what it used to be, nor what it should be.

[@FoxyfloofJumps]

@@deezynar You write as if you expect someone to have the power of a god, to just descend upon all of Japan and wave a hand, declaring "it shall be so". That's not real-world thinking, and dismisses the fact that most people are in fact individuals with unique natural inclinations against certain kinds of change, or changes which happen suddenly or without majority consent. Guns/money/politics wont solve this. Only time, with an economic collapse and the eventual die-off of the worst of the hierarchical thinkers, will solve it.

[@thoresommerfeld6962]

They obviously have a certain way of living. If you choose to live amongst them you have to adapt. Comparing your standards and experiences from your home country to the way of living in Japan makes no sense. You did not move there to live your culture in a foreign country. You should have made more research.

[@marygeorge2467]

It does make sense. Unless you have lived in a foreign country - not visited as a tourist - you cannot possibly understand the nature of being ethnocentric. Of being from one culture, transposed to another. Everything she addressed will resonate with anyone who has lived abroad, for a couple of years. And even more so within a culture where you are illiterate. No research can be found about how to cooperate with a clothes fitting to participate in a community ceremony. (Been there, done that, in Japan, sans the beehive locks!) To be brave, patient and compassionate is necessary. We could all use this gift of a big-hearted world view.

[@RyfkahChan]

I agree that it is important to do research before you emigrate, but there is no amount of research you can do that could substitute for lived experience. You can hear an information like "In Japan you are expected to behave like everyone else" and not be able to fully grasp what that means until you are there and get into conflicts because of your differences that you can't resolve with your skill set.

[@thoresommerfeld6962]

@@marygeorge2467 I actually did it twice. Once for 10 years and one time more to than 30 years. I admit that the cultural differences between my home country and the countries where I migrated to where not as big as between USA and Japan but nether the less i fully accepted all rules and regulations that have been laid upon me. Anything else would have turned me into being just a tourist.

[@cherrypi_b]

Have you even watched the video? This video IS important research info for others. She does her best to adapt. But it's hard if you don't know all the differences in detail beforehand and if you grew up in a completely other way. And yes, you still want to be your own person as well. The Japanese society has to open up also to some change. They are a very ageing society, with a decreasing economy and have lots of people (esp. younger ones) with mental health problems that get ignored - and Japan is a part of this global world. A society that never changes will fail in the end. As much as individual humans that are not willing to change a bit.

[@CB-sx8xh]

It is natural to hold on to cultural aspects of your upbringing in a country you move to. For example, in Australia we have large Greek and Italian communities with their own community centres where they can feel free to speak the language of their heritage. Their culture has become a part of modern Australian culture with Melbourne's cafe culture. Come to think of it many English, Scot and Irish immigrants seemed to retain many of their cultural traits and language when they moved to Australia, the US and Canada.

[@tokyokitchenchronicles]

Hi Bitsii, thank you for sharing your opinions so thoughtfully. I couldn't help but laugh about the "trophy foreigner" experience you had! That's bizarre, and oh how uncomfortable it must've been! Especially in the country side foreigners easily become a commodity, it's pretty bizarre. Also, 建前 is a big aspect of Japanese culture that I feel doesn't allow for meaningful relationships to grow quickly. I am so shocked that the only people who ever show their true selves are my partner's childhood friends and his family. It takes a loooooong time to see people's true nature here. I hope your chickens are doing well, and I'm sorry for the loss of your one chick. It's heartbreaking... ❤‍🩹