8 Red Flags That Should Send You Running From A Man

8 Red Flags That Should Send You Running From A Man
Are you tired of wasting your time on the wrong men? Listen to the story of two of my Love U clients - one too passive, one too picky - to discover the 8 things men say that should be instant dealbreakers. Want to save YEARS of your life? Listen to this Love U Podcast.
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[@ronnieb7313]

Great video Evan; love the longer ones. I bought Finding The One Online this year and started “dating” a couple of months ago. Your guidelines have been invaluable to keeping my sanity: “he’s not real until he’s your boyfriend”; “90% of guys aren’t the one for you “; “You can’t do the wrong thing with the right guy”. My only problem is trying to keep an abundance mindset. It’s hard to have faith in an outcome you’ve never seen before.

[@evanmarckatz]

Agreed. That's what I like about Love U - you connect with women going through the same process and you get to see their successes and learn from their mutual frustrations. Hang in there. You can do this!

[@MarieBenard]

I'm not in Love U but I was part of another group coaching program Evan did many years ago. I'm still friends with the women I met through Evan and we're all been a wonderful support to each other.

[@evanmarckatz]

@@MarieBenard Aw, thanks, my friend. Appreciate you still watching after all these years.

[@JennaHasm]

​@@evanmarckatz No. Jessica is right, the only men that are willing to treat a woman with decency and respect and reasonable give and take are men on their deathbed.

[@springfauna1465]

I think the worst thing I ever did was fall in love with a guy's potential. It never came to fruition, and I walked away with a broken heart.

[@Lydia-Roe]

I'm soo sooo guilty of this - it's difficult as an empath and humanitarian NOT to see the potential of people!

[@tracymullane8818]

11:15 begins the 8 red flags

[@saradh3385]

Thank you!

[@cheryljones2009]

This is a good message... I am in my early 50's & still single... I have to admit, the older I get & wish to be in a relationship, it IS so easy to fall for "hope, fantasy & potential" with a brand new guy, and then end up feeling frustrated & disappointed... 😣😣😣

[@ssiegreen5292]

Forgot one... He's maaaaaaaarried!!!

[@yagushka]

I think that’s obvious 😂

[@sedonarose7563]

“Attractive *for her age*” omg worst description! Lol

[@indigomoon8643]

Kinda made me sad to hear that your last client had a partner who she chose to leave due to health issues which sounded somewhat out of his control. I mean I understand it , I myself have health issues and have always known it’s probably why I may never find any one . It’s disappointing but I understand why someone does not want to go down that path . It would be lovely if someone could see the person and not the illness or disability.

[@jillainenewman1358]

I agree. What a horrible person to leave your partner when they experience a health problem.

[@health4877]

I think the main thing these love coaches overlook is that loving someone is not like buying a house, where your focus is on finding the best value for money. While I do agree with him when it comes to taking into consideration red flags to avoid unnecessary hurt, I also believe that committing to someone because they fit a bunch of criteria and objectively seem like "the best you can do" is not love. And if the client left the guy, it probably has more to do with the fact that she didn't really love him in the first place than the fact that he is disabled. She actually did him a favor, because now he's free to find someone who truly appreciates him. Do not be discouraged, there are plenty of interabled and disabled couples who have great relationships and plenty of people who could potentially be attracted to you as a whole, you don't have to settle for the first person who's kind of nice to you. The right person, the one that has a real connection with you, will love you not "despite your illness", but accept the disability as a part of what makes you you. Lastly I would like to say, that while chemistry is important for the "falling IN love" part, true love develops over time with the amount of energy and care we invest in the other person. In fact, if you look back at the red flags he listed you'll see that the one thing they all have in common is unavailability: "if I'm not fully present, I can't fully love you". Which means that the opposite is also true :)

[@indigomoon8643]

@@health4877 what a lovely comment and a beautiful perspective , thank you for taking the time to write these wonderful words of encouragement . They remind me to keep my heart and mind open to love . I hope everyone who reads this find's their Soul mate , their great love , I pray to find mine .

[@antoinettefrontino2277]

@@indigomoon8643 I hope you find "the one", the great love of your soul, who will love you unconditionally. I'm praying for you 🤗🙏

[@indigomoon8643]

@@antoinettefrontino2277 Thank you 🙏 💕 Beautiful Blessings your way 🌷

[@sarahjaneross2918]

"Average looking..." what on earth is that?? 😬😅

[@priancavail6520]

WOW and OMG!! Thank you Evan for being direct and teaching us women NOT to settle for less on any of the 8 RED FLAGS you mention. If I find a guy has any of these when I talk with him on the phone, let alone meet him for coffee, I WILL STOP. A RED FLAG is a STOP SIGN. You go thru it, you may die or suffer a traumatic injury, so DONT!!👏👏👏😃

[@wisdomtooth6454]

You are by far the greatest dating coach out there. No need to even listen to the others. Your advice is always on point. You truly have a gift for this. I have learned so much about men and dating from watching your videos and reading why he disappeared. I’m in a wonderful relationship now with a great man. I just wanted to say..thank you Evan.

[@evanmarckatz]

Appreciate your feedback! Thank you.

[@user-es5jq6yy9l]

Horrible

[@odalisr4258]

Thanks for managing to bring some levity to difficult topics, Evan. Your illustrations are memorable and impactful. “Men are like buses, men are like buses...”

[@mandyfawn5201]

Now I see myself as someone to run from. I have a kidney disorder. I have a an autistic son…I’m suddenly feeling pretty low as a catch now.

[@Zannathin]

I agree with all except the long distance factor. I know a few couples who met on a trip, but lived in different cities, but they ended up happily married.

[@sherriflemming3218]

It's possible

[@srs1659]

I know a couple who lived in different countries and married after seven years of LDR.

[@lkasjddasjlk4350]

Isn't that kinda mean tho, to reject a guy and walk away based on health issues? How is that person going to stick through the tough times with someone then?

[@str5295]

I'll say it again, your advice rings most true.

[@tonitv9991]

6 min into the video and you haven’t mentioned anything about men, just blaming women for their risks and actions, typical male behavior, disappointing!!

[@frenchieqt1]

i happened to come across this video. i love how he first flatters us by referring to us as strong, smart, successful women to hook us in and then halfway thru he talks about how we are over 40, childless, not married, not as attractive. dont let him play on your insecurities about yourself and make yourself feel over the hill, you arent. you have to think positive, learn to change your mindset and learn to love yourself, if you can try and improve on yourself. quit looking for a man and take a hard look at yourself first to see what is in your control to improve on or change for the better, let it be your looks, weight, career, hobbies, health, finances. there is nothing wrong with recognizing things you feel you lack and improving on that, its called growing and it is empowering. dont do it for a man, do it for yourself. dont let a man dictate to you your worth. i am 43 going on 44, i barely look 30. i have an active full life. i do all kind of sports, i love myself. i am practically never home. i dont sit in front of the tv wallowing in pity, im always outside, enjoying the outdoors and nature, i recently changed careers. i am skilled in carpentry therefore I can build anything and fix anything i want in my home by myself. I have NO BAGGAGE. no kids, no ex husband nor do i get to refer to myself as DIVORCED. I get to refer to myself as single and proud. here is the thing ladies, a lot of these men ARE divorced, with ex-wives, or kids YOU would need to take on. not the other way around, you are in the power seat to choose who you should give your time to and feel sorry for all these separated, divorced women with kids, who men would be reluctant to take on and who have lost their identity and dont know how to be self sufficient and independent. the best thing you can do albeit is the HARDEST thing is to improve on yourself FIRST. fix whatever you think needs improvement on. list it out, sure it will suck but take a deep breath and start working on that. every day, little by little, eventually youll build your self worth and value and confidence. remember you want a man who adds VALUE to your life and complements it. if you dont feel good about yourself you will lower your standards as to what you feel you can attract and therefore by working and improving on yourself first that will increase your value as well as your standards as to the kind of men you will accept. you wont get trapped into choosing men in long distance relationships, or recently divorced, or with a bunch of addiction issues or health issues and such. is the picking on the slim side....sure but by that point your life already is filled enough that you wont want to make room for anyone that doesnt add positive value to it.

[@yagushka]

You are my kind of coach ❤️

[@marwilvargas80]

Hello I like your advices and I listen to your podcast. However, may I ask you, if a man ask advice that he likes this girl but she is separated and had kidney transplant are you going to advice the same to leave that girl too and find another one who has two kidneys and not separated? I am that girl who is separated and had kidney transplant, does it mean I cannot be chosen or be loved?

[@nathalie5238]

I remain single cause I don’t buy into BS anymore.why stick with someone who doesn’t treat you right or someone you’re not attracted to? Life is more fun and relaxed without anxiety or drama. 46 and single for 7 years, dated some men I had to walk away from. Would like a partner yet not at any cost.

[@candupreez]

I love EMK.

[@solidsix6766]

E, great video! You're right AGAIN!

[@evanmarckatz]

Appreciate your feedback.

[@srs1659]

Well, I’m a breast cancer survivor with little libido and a dysfunctioal vagina. My bf is understanding and patient. It’s me who’s considering leaving him, because of my problem. I’m so sad.

[@MissyA-o6m]

I’d love to know if the woman you referenced at the end of the video left her incapacitated bf and if so, did she find someone else she loved & that was a better match? The fact that she loved him despite his ailments is something admirable

[@Mrs.T305]

The issue is that a lot of men fall into one of those eight categories. Thank you for the content

[@jsmoore23]

My twin sister is definitely like Sherry. Standards are way too high and unrealistic and that's why she's been single for at least 25 years or so. I married a guy who isn't the greatest guy. Over the years, I find out that he doesn't take care of himself, so his hygiene is not the best. He's Autistic, so he has a lot of trouble maintaining a job and his relationship with his family is poor because his family treats him like garbage. He came out as bisexual last year and is now looking for a boyfriend, so our marriage became open. In 2012, he was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and developed ED. Over time, our love life became non-existent. I'm not in love with him anymore, yet I'm too afraid to be single because with how things are in today's society, I can't be financially stable on my own. I get that a lot of this is my fault because I accepted him, flaws and all and settled because I was too young to understand much when I was in my 20s. I spent the last several years really working on myself and changed a lot of my perspectives. However, I did not date a lot in my life because I knew that I am overly sensitive and I do not handle rejection very well. I also am Autistic, so it's a lot harder for me to communicate my feelings and read social cues. I end up making many mistakes and a few men have rejected me. Last year, I got scammed on a dating website and a lot of my accounts were compromised. I've met a guy who's really not all that into me and I kept trying to pursue him. I eventually stopped because I saw that he was interested in someone else who's different than me, but he vibes with her more. It made me realize that I could be a really good, positive, and kind person, but men have a choice and they would rather pick someone else over me. I decided it was best to end it and love myself and give myself the care that I need. I no longer view relationships as a positive experience. I have come to this decision for my safety, since dating no longer feels safe and comfortable. I have to stop getting out of my comfort zone and stop trying to ask for things that I don't always need. I have to do things on my own and for myself.

[@noneofyourbuizness]

Aad baby girl seem like you were attracted to unavailable men

[@jsmoore23]

@@noneofyourbuizness Yup, that is exactly right. That’s why I needed to stop doing that. From now on, it’s only me, myself, and I. No more dating. I’m living life for myself.

[@jolenelutyck1422]

You’re one of the very best! Love your videos. Thank you!!

[@odalisr4258]

Would you please create a video on how your fault-finding clients are able to shift, especially in the area of judging the appearance of potential matches? I do have your helpful material on compromising vs. settling, and how attraction can grow for a woman under the right circumstances. I have listened to many of your talks about your past relationships vs. the one with your wife. I can see how you compromised in areas like religion. I have heard you talk about dating gorgeous women who were difficult. It makes perfect sense to have chosen your wife, but it doesn’t appear that you gave up much in this area because she is so pretty! I’m trying to increase my initial attraction for nice, middle aged men. If they had beautiful blue eyes like your wife, it would be much easier to pick them! Eyebrows would be a wonderful too... I recognize the importance of accepting aging in myself and in my partners. As you have said elsewhere, women tend to take care of their physical appearance in midlife more than men. It seems that many older men who do take care of themselves are still playing the field. (I know that the same can be said about certain women.) Anyway, I have interacted with some sweet, older men who really want a relationship, but have really let themselves go. I don’t give them a chance because I feel that if they don’t have enough self-love to care for their bodies, how can they care for me?

[@Parisinseptember]

There is a lot of divorce men out there. At 46 do we have a choice? Also, kind of sad your client left a man who was sick.

[@aylex1974]

Keep telling me whatever is ok

[@leilacarpenter10]

Thanks for the great video, Evan. :)

[@evanmarckatz]

My pleasure, thanks for tuning in.

[@fionamarak6894]

Why no long distance? If one is willing to move.

[@marysunshine5575]

Yessss!!!! 🙌🏻

[@annethroop229]

Oh gosh, I wish Elise could have had Rose Rosetree read that guy’s aura! Or at least cut her cord of attachment to him.

[@Tof235]

Absolutely brilliant and useful video. Thank you!!!

[@michelledoyle4635]

I see so much of myself in all those situations, I have fallen in love with so many men in a foreign country now they have all failed relationships now I cant see a way up I keep lusting after unavailability men just so frustrated and sick of it all.

[@antoinettefrontino2277]

Thank you so much, Evan! Your advice is so very valuable! ❤

[@Lonstermash]

While i agree that no one (male or female, because i and my guy friends have encountered many women with big red flags soon into the dating process) should settle for someone who has those red flags, as a guy who has been single for the better part of the past 30 years (briefly married 20 years ago) and knows many high value men and women who are also single most of the time, i think most of us are probably going to end up single, especially if we're not happily married by our early 30s. That being said, for the first time in my life I'm in a very good relationship that has no non starters I'm trying to deal with (we've been together for 7 months), so hopefully I've finally find my soul mate! 🙏

[@greenentrepreneurs]

Very good. As usual. Thanks, Evan.

[@nathalie5238]

Fantastic all the 'avoid' the men category, seems I only meet freshly separated men (dang why do they even date), have major stress issues (pandemic time), don't know what they want, don't want commitment.... I keep running from these men... I will soon be ready for the 10miles

[@patriciaava358]

Massive thanks Evan❤❤

[@MarieBenard]

Thanks, Evan! I have a question about the separated and divorced red flags. I've always avoided separated and recently divorced men but I seem to recall your advice in the past was different. I could be wrong, or maybe confusing you with another dating coach, but I seem to recall you saying something along the lines of separated men being fine to date because the marrying types often re-marry quite quickly. If I'm remembering this correctly, I'm curious what made your opinion change. If it has, maybe it could be the subject of a future video? Thank you so much!

[@evanmarckatz]

I think you judge people on a case by case basis - not all separated men are in the same situation. At the same time, it's high-risk, and why take a big risk when there are enough single/divorced men available.

[@ciggytwiggy]

hhahahah with the first few points you made, I have a name that pops up

[@sarahbley6614]

Great informative info Great Evan

[@BetterLoveMovement]

Eight Red Flags starts at 11:03!

[@ladyshay4323]

Thank you

[@Chimalmita1]

Evan, have you had clients who decided to get married without loving their man? What do you say to your clients who consider marriage of convenience with a good guy, without loving him?

[@evanmarckatz]

No, I haven't. Why would anyone take Love U only to make a huge mistake with her life when she's done?

[@hg3895]

Is long distance always bad? What about a small country like the UK?

[@sherriflemming3218]

It's risky because you don't see each other regularly. Really get to know them well. Also they can be hiding many things.

[@nn7397]

What if he is fresh out of a 3 year relationship?

[@alisonlucia2789]

Idk can you really just click well with anyone? I find it hard to find a good connection with men. A lot of men are shallow

[@sherriflemming3218]

Men are shallow period. They're visual.

[@michelledoyle4635]

Very good

[@marioct130]

He's childish and a serious risk taker.

[@user-es5jq6yy9l]

Terrible advice and coach wow telling her to leave the poor guy just because he has some health issues.. just awful. If you get sick hopefully your wife won't take your advice and leave you

[@julielynchbuettner3906]

You seem very angry

[@wowso4]

This video was so helpful, thank you Evan. 😊