9/11 Stories: FDNY 9/11 Widow Tina Bilcher Murphy

Tina Bilcher Murphy says the last time she spoke with her New York City firefighter husband was September 10th, when he called, asking if it was ok with her if he worked a second shift. 26 year old Tina and Brian had just welcomed their first child, a son, Grant, 13 days before. September 10th was Brian’s first day back at work with the FDNY after the birth. Their last words to each other: “I love you”.
Tina awakened early on 9/11 to a hungry baby awaiting his first morning breastfeeding. She turned on the tv. That’s when she learned about the plane hitting The World Trade Center. Tina knew she wouldn’t be hearing from Brian. He had a job to do. Tina continued with her plans that day, driving Grant to his first appointment with the pediatrician. She couldn’t understand why the nurse said, “What are you doing here??”. Tina was unaware the towers had fallen. It was only when she returned home that she learned the full story. Still, Tina didn’t give up hope. She says it must have been a mother’s instinct . She had to be a mom. And she couldn’t do that if she accepted that Brian was gone. For six months, Tina believed Brian would come home. In June, on their wedding anniversary, she finally held a memorial service for her 38 year old husband. It was an empty casket. Like 40% of those killed in New York City that day, Brian Bilcher’s remains were never found.
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[@robbieogle8622]

What a hero. I dated a fireman. They literally have something in them that is very heroic. No fear at all. You picked a good man to have a child with.

[@CSarge]

I was always seeking stories about 9/11 and I always wondered why there weren’t many. This is the best thing you could’ve done to make sure the younger generations NEVER FORGET. I believe people have forgotten.

[@deyannaf4380]

Newborn baby watching that on tv. So freakin terrible. I really could not even imagine. God bless you, your son and your family. Prayers for you all.

[@v.dargain1678]

Same ! That's awful . If telling others about it on TV is therapeutic for her , then more power to her .

[@MVuke84]

There's not a whole lot of people that can call their father, or husband, a real life hero. Ever since that day, I truly learned the risk firefighters take everyday to help complete strangers. We are thankful for your family, and prayers are with you.

[@tiffanygaeta8133]

These stories are so important and so incredible to the human strength of persevering such trauma. What an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@dianemitchell1717]

You are so lucky to have a supportive husband who understands your pain bc of his own pain. Bless you and your extended family. You give hope to others with your loving nature.

[@mtio2807]

They’re both broken

[@joeybrazil2024]

​@@mtio2807Aren't we all? Or will be, at some point.

[@sandrametcalfe7483]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Try not to blame yourself. You’re an amazing woman who is very brave. May God bless you and your family.

[@mtio2807]

She doesn’t

[@GetonMylevel132]

@@mtio2807 📞🤡

[@loriadams7724]

This sweet woman, i pray that her heart is comforted, so that she can be healed from so much trauma.

[@thenanlife1141]

Amazing lady god bless her . No one can comprehend this unbearable grief she had to go through xx

[@shatimbeecat1960]

My heart breaks for this beautiful wife and mother, so glad she keeps him alive every day for the hero he was and her family does too… Never forget🙏🙏🙏

[@kristinecrowley8321]

The strength of these young wives/moms absolutely blows my mind. I know a loss of any kind is awful but something about the idea of these young women who were just starting their families, to suddenly lose their husband and the father of their children and also lose the life they imagined for their families..it’s overwhelming. I know they had no choice but to move forward but they all seemed to have done so with amazing courage and commitment to raising their children to be good human beings. So heartbreaking and unfair.

[@yendang5403]

WOW, she has such a positive outlook on life considering what she went through. I didn't know anyone personally who lost their lives during 911, but I still feel so ANGRY!!!! Listening to her and how positive she comes across help me see the positive side of tragedy.

[@mikestevens7018]

I'm so sorry,such a tragedy.But you're son's Daddy will always be his hero and they'll meet again one day .

[@mrlaw711]

Tina is an incredible woman. Tough and I'm sure she raised her son, Grant, right. Thank you for sharing your story. Grief is always "love" with no place to go.

[@samanthah9849]

God bless you and your family, Tina! Your husband is a hero!

[@lm13981]

You’re an inspiration, I am amazed by your strength. He will always be with you, thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@mtio2807]

Yes, she inspires us to find a new man asap

[@GetonMylevel132]

@@mtio2807 = cuckoo for cocoa puffs

[@MurrayJoe]

@@mtio2807 🤡

[@KarmasAbutch]

@@mtio2807WTF?

[@Mizzlenum]

I come back to hear these stories because it helps me to get courage when things are not going well. I've seen sooo mant of them and each one is unique and special. Thank you for sharing our stories, I'm sure there's thouusands more that we haven't heard.

[@susanhenshaw622]

Thank you for sharing your story. 2001 is now 20 years ago but it probably seems like yesterday. I can’t imagine all you’ve been through. My heart still aches for all families like your changed forever.🙏💕🇨🇦

[@stopanimalcruelty298]

My son was 6 days old . I thought what world am I bringing this beautiful boy in to . So sorry for your loss 💜

[@keith2092]

These firemens' wives are the epitome of courage. Admirable, tough and smart and they know the job. Any one of the wives I have heard here could have served pretty well in a company, engine or ladder.

[@anamiriamrodriguezcruz3824]

RIP Innocent Firefighters, NYC Police, Port Authory; Twin Tower Coworkers. :(

[@pastelskies8466]

It's Tina that's extraordinary. Not just for the life altering tragedy she's endured but for WHO she is.

[@nomopms1]

Anytime someone dies unexpectedly, it's gut-wrenching. The pain lasts for a long time. You go on with your life, but, in your heart, you drag that grief with you until you decide to let it go. I think the younger you are when it happens, the harder it is. Speaking from life experience. God bless everyone who's gone through it. There really does come a time down the road when you can think of that person and just be at peace.

[@grammyb5216]

I agree with you and I understand that, God Intervention. That is perfect. I’m so so sorry for your enormous loss, your sons loss. That he died a hero is so special but it doesn’t keep you from missing him so much. I’m praying for you guys in Texas 😢🙏🤠

[@melissahedden5396]

Such a heartbreaking story. The survivors in these stories have a strength and courage that I don’t think I would ever be able to summon in the face of such an event. Bless them and their families. I am inspired that positive outcomes are possible from such a dark day. And thank you to each of them for sharing their stories.

[@evelynmahoney3569]

In a way, her belief was accurate and her faith was not misplaced. Her husband did come home . . . by way of her son . . . who evolved to smell just like him, laugh & eat just like him. God is good.

[@darlenemurphy5351]

So wonderful that you are able to have that blended family. God Bless You.

[@StudioEq_777]

Thank you for sharing your story, my sincere regrets for your loss and pain. I admire your great strength and wisdom. As you say, there is a beginning and a middle. Your accumulated strength of the past 20 years, has illuminated your humanity an shows as the infinite possibilities of space in the middle, where there seems to be no space. Thanks again for sharing your story and your strength. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏🙏❤

[@taffycat5049]

The emotion after all of these years is so sad. It's like it all just happened yesterday. 💗🙏💗🙏

[@danielleybelly8039]

So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. hugs to you

[@laravonstaden1838]

What a wonderful lady with a wonderful family. The power of love is strong indeed. God bless them all.

[@bbear1971]

Very brave woman. She might not think that, but she is. It will be 30yrs this year i lost my father in a plane crash. And i still dont know how to heal from it. Im still in the mad phase of it.

[@floretta65]

I am sorry for your loss and your pain.... To get some perspectives on life and death you can check ( as a starting point) the youtube channel of Suzanne Giesemann, an extraordinary wise woman.... Also people who had NDEs ( plenty of videos!) can give you a bit of inspiration to heal your trauma.... Hope this helps....

[@gary1961]

Wow. This is really powerful. Her testimony brought me to tears.

[@paulabrown6840]

Thank you so much for telling your story. I’m watching this on September 10 2021. You and your son are in my heart 💜. May your first husband and your current husbands first child rest in loving peace.

[@lorinorton3971]

Thank you for your heartfelt, personal story. My heart is with you.

[@braveheartrv2946]

I love this series. I hope yall keep going. Get all the stories you can so we never forget. Our childrens childrens children will know...

[@juliamarin4896]

I think your psyche just wanted to protect you so it let you realize the truth when you could actually handle the truth. I'm sorry for your loss. You are so blessed to have your two beautiful sons and your nephew!! I think you learn how to carry them with you once they're gone...that's what I do each day too. He'll always be a part of your life and frankly I'm certain that the two of you wouldn't have it any other way. It's beautiful in it's own way... And, your husband died a Hero.

[@hockleyglen]

There is a reason the rear view mirror is so small and the windshield is so big. I appreciate your pain but your future is standing there beside you.

[@traditionalgirl5585]

I can feel the weight of your pain in my heart through your words. I pray God comforts you and your family always and extra.

[@WhosoeverBelieveth]

💎 You're such a gem, Tina. Thank you for making this world a better place. Jesus loves you immeasurably. 🌏🙏🕛

[@leesher1845]

The pain is so heavy at the firehouse… 😔

[@1f5sda]

Agreed! 😢😢😢😢

[@brownlauren15]

Tina, bring it in, cope, persevere... Thanks for sharing your story🙏

[@donnalromero4481]

To Live in the Heart's we leave behind is not to die. She's been so Strong and has kept him So real and so Alive in Our memory Brian Bilcher.

[@Ellamar23]

Your strength, your love, your courage are an inspiration. God bless you and your family.

[@raineyj560]

Such a moving situation because as long as the victims have a legacy, to me its a continuing situation. So happy that she continues to stay close to her late husband's family. God bless her children, may they continue to thrive.

[@lizzypop2628]

I don’t blame her at ALL for holding onto that hope. It’s admirable actually whether or not it was a coping mechanism

[@jackhanna4447]

God. This is so sad, yet somehow inspiring.

[@NJBeachlover1]

God bless you… Please don’t blame yourself… He is looking down on you and wouldn’t want to see you broken.

[@maryloulordi8424]

God bless you ❤

[@visionquest414]

i rarely can sit in listen to people just talk on youtube. Doesnt matter the tragedy. I found myself listening to the entire thing.

[@stephenchristian9800]

Hi I'm Steve from Australia, my heart goes out to you and your son, My Prayers go out to you in your grief, Much Love

[@glendaharris7219]

Wow..13 day old baby...you are a good momma. Thank you for your testimony... Thank you to your husband, for his sacrifice. God bless you. I too am sorry for your loss.

[@stephenn8366]

I hope you have found peace.

[@K1OIK]

obviously not.

[@excaliburjohndeere7657]

I’ll think about you for a long time. If you get a chance. Watch the video about the pilot in Gander Newfoundland.September 11, 2001. People of Newfoundland took care of 7000 people on jets for five days. Lots of good people. 38 jet’s set there for five days. We’re not alone.

[@ellabella6099]

Those stories warmed my heart ❤️ about what the Gander people did for what they called the “plane people “ .

[@RANDY4410]

God bless her she is a strong lady.

[@Davtonjes]

You are the definition of STRENGTH! Thank you for sharing! 💕💕💕

[@patriciarouse2801]

Love is forever. Love is real and not fade away. Our nervous systems are designed to love. God 🙏 you

[@karenweaver7574]

Thank you for sharing your story. Bless you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[@evelyncarbonell1]

we are left here for a purpose when you lose a loved one

[@hizgrase]

What a strong lovely lady.

[@gulfbaby230]

You are so strong and brave and incredibly special for keeping your blended family together and keeping your husband’s spirit alive for your son and your mother-in-law. I’m so sorry for your loss, and the world is so grateful for your husbands service. May he Rest In Peace.

[@bulldog8489]

Thank You for sharing Tina...All of You who lost Close Ones on that day have carried a heavier burden than the rest of us Americans. Thank You for sharing so that They and You, the survivors, will not be forgotten. This 911 Stories series is just a great cause and gift. Thank God !

[@aimee1860]

God bless you!

[@diannbrown528]

Thank you for sharing

[@dcnole]

Bless you.

[@lmccism]

Thankyou for your beautiful, life affirming words.

[@collegeri]

Life is precious.. thanks for sharing your story.

[@Mr118blackie]

Thank you thank you thank for sharing these stories with us it means a lot So many lives touched ❤️

[@victoriablue665]

Tina, you are always in my heart....

[@redruby747]

Poor lady bless her

[@qtgonewild]

what a great woman.

[@RainAprilDiamond]

So heart breaking 💔 😢 and sad.

[@Rodmic-hd9pn]

I am so sorry for you and thank you for sharing your story. I think your one of the strongest people I know

[@JSJSpeaks]

Coping is forever. I love that. 💜✨

[@LubaB]

Thank you for telling your story in English. ❤

[@AM-qr4ys]

This was so heartbreaking. 😢but she spoke so beautifully! Maybe god bless you and your family. I’m so sorry for your loss

[@Irishgirl7]

My god fair doos to you. You are so strong your husband would be very proud.

[@janicestephenson4977]

God Bless you love !

[@daniellemarie6059]

God bless you 🙏🏻❤️ stay strong. I am so sorry that you had to go through this🙏🏻 I admire your strength and bravery so much. You were only 27 when this happened and a new mom I am 28 right now I can’t even imagine 💔

[@geriroberts001]

May The Lord bless you and your family. You are courageous and strong. 💜🙏🇦🇺

[@kathleengolden757]

God bless you all! Keep on talking to him! He is still there in spirit and one day you will all be together again in heaven! What incredible strength you have. To have to go through this at 27, it’s unbelievable!

[@barbettef.6537]

I pray you an abundance of peace and love.

[@theislander2493]

Hang in there hunny 🌹God bless you

[@3131raymond]

Tina my heart ♥ breaks for you

[@allysonh6410]

My God i Feel your pain honey. I cannot even imagine. A love like yours was with your husband is incredibly rare now days. You are incredibly strong. THANK YOU for sharing your pain. We Need to hear it. God Bless you and yours. And why was that girl's pain different than yours?? You both had firefighters. huh 🤔🤷‍♀️

[@ednabarela485]

TINA BILCHER MURPHY you are a beautiful strong woman I pray Our BlESSED FATHERED wraps you and your family in his loving arms your precious husband is your angel on earth look for the signs with a open heart and mind I wish you Peace and Love 🙏🙏🙏🌹🌹🌹

[@mtio2807]

Happy belated birthday

[@effentjes]

Beautiful

[@Rodmic-hd9pn]

Has anyone ever told you to get over it

[@1f5sda]

I am sorry for her loss! I have always had (and always will) the utmost respect for our firefighters and their loved ones.

[@pyrokuda9743]

Such a sweet gal. :(

[@xino_z]

She really resonated with me. She's right

[@greeneyejuana6570]

🙏

[@Rodmic-hd9pn]

Did any widows get remarried to fireman

[@marblehead3398]

💜

[@SinisterScoundrel6562]

I think she's gonna be ok.

[@Johnny-ip4mk]

❤

[@leesher1845]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@omalichanwa1877]

I hate reading comments that say, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through”. I think that’s a horrible thing to tell someone. I watch these stories and try to imagine how these people feel and what they went through and continue to go through. It’s called empathy. So sorry for your loss.

[@cherrellj6785]

I get you, as a mother myself I can absolutely imagine the horror of my partner not walking through that door again to see our children. Horribly tragic. Bless her x

[@cc-sb1is]

...because people can TRY to imagine, "put themselves in their shoes", conjure empathy, etc., but unless the EXACT thing has happened to you, you could NEVER imagine how one feels to endure such a tragedy, thus the expression "I can't imagine how you feel" is respectful in the fact that no matter how much empathy we have for someone, we will never know the extent of the pain they feel.

[@clking1908]

I agree. It is NOT at all respectful. I loss my son as a baby and I hated when people said this to me. It was a constant reminder that I was going through the worst thing ever. It made me feel bad and alone. I wish people would stop saying that. If you are humane, you can absolutely imagine what a person goes through during grief- sadness, despair, devastation. You don’t need to have the EXACT experience to imagine anything. I understand it is a well-intentioned sentiment, but it’s not helpful. It stabbed my heart every time it was said to me, at a time where my heart was already so destroyed.

[@Peaceatdawn143]

What bothers me is when a person tries to “one up” another person’s tragedy with another story, not even acknowledging what that person just took the time to share. I see this a lot nowadays.

[@k.gspianoworldjourneyschan437]

Tina, your a hero! Thanks 4 your pain, your experience. I have ptsd. I've lost my mom, dad, & brother to health issues and brother to suicide. Your story gives me strength to go on today! I love u 💓from kenny in Michigan. It's a story of hope! 😔✌❤