90% Of Men Will NOT Leave A Bad Relationship! | Episode 177

[@dontme4132]

Men don’t leave relationships to be by themselves. If they do leave, it’s another woman. Men would rather cheat than leave to be by themselves.

[@LawFirmMentor]

Exactly. Boys are reliant on mom in childhood and, in adulthood, it just shifts from mom to the female partners.

[@truettadevil]

🎯 🎯 🎯 🎯 🎯 🎯 You see how uncomfortable they all looked, because they all know the answer.

[@learningearning8385]

90% of men not leaving a bad relationship because they’re typically the ones who make it toxic 😩

[@mego1669]

Facts.

[@dontme4132]

Exactly. They’re still benefiting by staying.

[@sdmoore89]

Stop it. Let not act like women don't be toxic too. The fact that women deal with men that cause issues like that is a problem in itself.

[@ArethaRenee]

Right, the person causing the problem doesn’t typically leave, male or female.

[@Truthspeaker27]

@@learningearning8385 This is true yet you shldnt allow anyone to make you feel guilty about something you repented for. So in other words if he forgives himself and that woman makes him feel guilty just to string him along and get her way and payback which it is often times. That man is only causing more stress and damage to himself

[@darylmoore5874]

Resistant to change, a lot of dudes are scared of the unknown, and they don't want to admit to themselves that the relationship is dead

[@rachelabena]

this is it!

[@truettadevil]

I think they don't want to admit they don't have what it takes to maintain a healthy relationship... they just want the title of LEADER, but they don't want to do the work. A relationship is like a plant... it only dies if you let it 🪴

[@humbleDAD]

We have ego. We don't want to say we chose wrong.

[@reginayfavors]

Best comment.

[@ms.mcghee8682]

Sad, but true .

[@antrianewsome2463]

And the saddest part about keeping that ego is, you as a man choosing your ego and relinquishing your right to Joy, Peace, and the right kind of love. When you stay you choose death & not life and that death includes your dreams & goals and connecting to the wrong woman or man! Trust all of that is 100% bound to happen. Why would you do that to yourself to save face? And care what others think. No one is worth being miserable for.

[@reginayfavors]

@@antrianewsome2463 Amen. But they would rather stay in the situation out of sheer spite. That's why it's better to move on. Let God deal with that person.

[@michelleisaac7108]

This is a really sad place to be in.

[@JewelryByBDK]

It's the routine + not wanting to start over.

[@dontme4132]

Men don’t leave relationships to be by themselves. If they do leave, it’s another woman.

[@southernveganmarcuschestnu4603]

Do women do the same?

[@babyluvjr]

@dontme4132 not always true...false....u have men that r strong minded, strong enough to get themselves together first, no matter how long it takes, b4 they get re attached..... We may laugh and joke, skip a lil rope with a honey dip or 2, just to pass the time away, but nothing serious....And real talk, like my pops told me years before he passed on, "after awhile son, u don't even miss it". That's from an OG... checkmate

[@tatianadaniel3569]

​@@southernveganmarcuschestnu4603 Not typically. Usually, when a woman leaves, we've done all we know to do to preserve the relationship. We've read the books, we've asked questions, we've done more, we've done less, we've suggested couples' counseling, we've gone to the "be a good wife" retreats, we've gone to the "be a good help mate conferences", we've begged, we've been as patient as we could be, we've been as "forgiving" as a we could be (even agaisnt our better judgements), we've prayed....we've done all but end it...because we want it. We want our man, we want our future with him, we want our children to grow up having an upclose and personal view at a *healthy and longstanding* marriage. We want to be with him. But one person alone, can't make a marriage work. To answer your question even more, 64% of divorced women say they NEVER want to be married again in stark contrast to only 34% of divorced men who echoe the same sentiments. When women file for divorce or leave a relationship, we truly just want our peace, not necessarily another partner.

[@tatianadaniel3569]

​@@babyluvjr Dealing with women to "pass the time" is a problem in and of itself. Men don't take relationships and intimacy as seriously as women do, and we no longer care to prove to you that we're worth doing it for.

[@babyluvjr]

@tatianadaniel3569 untrue....men take relationships VERY seriously.....I would tell my story, but I'll just leave it like that... Real talk , no disrespect, ma, it maybe only the guys u have dealt with, yanahmean?

[@kelseyszn8270]

Men don’t like carrying the weight of having to leave. Men are notorious for staying around or coming back around just in case

[@unclej2550]

Hope and potential is why. The children only complicated things more.

[@michelebcombs5016]

My husband has been in an outside relationship because I'm physically not able to please him. He has not admitted his infidelity. I didn't want him to stay out of obligation to me but really love me and be faithful to me. Our children are grown but I don't really think he's happy. I'd rather him to be happy than him staying just to say he's right. I'm ok for better or for worst. I miss my husband in every aspect.

[@tatianadaniel3569]

@@michelebcombs5016 Have you admitted to him that you KNOW what's going on? You deserve to be happy and HEALTHY. If he's cheating on you, he's putting your smexual health on the line and that's not love.

[@angelamcnair3060]

So why do so many Black men run from counseling until the woman threatens to leave?

[@truettadevil]

Because they're not leaders, they need Mommy to lead them to counseling.

[@thechic-chat]

The man that Trill is speaking on is the pick of the litter...he is not the man that many women encounter tho😅

[@DashaTheDivineDivah]

Most men I have talked to about this do this because they have already invested time and finances or kids... and it's familiar even when it's dysfunctional...it's crazy the amount of men that are in relationships they really don't want to be in.

[@tatianadaniel3569]

But then they'll turn around and blume (edit: *blame* ) women for initiating divorce.

[@jas1565]

Lol the same men who will bring up women initiating majority of divorces as if that's a bad thing.. but then telling you they won't leave bad relationships.

[@tatianadaniel3569]

THIS!!!!! It's always the woman's fault. The moment they have to livebup to the standards they place on US, they accuse us of "not taking accountability".

[@robinfennell-lomax5628]

I think the man is afraid of starting over

[@jeanmm6823]

🛎️🛎️ 🎯

[@truettadevil]

He's not afraid... he just doesn't want to put in the physical labor of taking care of himself 💅🏾

[@terranesha5784]

I see this being truth. My man love himself some me but he love himself enough to not be unhappy and unable to address it. He'll naturally show it or act out.

[@Truthspeaker27]

Neither. Most men that don’t leave relationships they are over don’t have the energy to leave. They stayed in for so long the weight is heavy and although he has control he has to heal in order to take back control that was given away The longer they wait. The heavy the weight is

[@Kay-yk6gb]

Really?!?! Can you elaborate when you say “weight is heavy”??

[@Truthspeaker27]

@@Kay-yk6gb mental and financial stress and the load seems to get heavier and heavier simply because they don’t let go. Blood pressure high, allergies kicking their butts because they hold it all in but their eyes teary up every day without literally crying. Runny nose, sneezing.

[@Truthspeaker27]

@@Kay-yk6gb Can’t do nothing for themselves only that situation. Like it’s a ball and chain fr. Carrying the weight of guilt, shame etc

[@Truthspeaker27]

@@Kay-yk6gb isn’t truly happy and won’t be until they let go

[@antrianewsome2463]

@@Truthspeaker27💯

[@SheriCheri94]

Damn that’s scary, men go through so much too

[@iRespectMen]

Also many men don't marry for love. Thinking a lot of men do is a misconception. Check out the many men that have gotten married to get a red or blue passport.

[@alesiawashington7814]

@Krew Season, what if you are allowing your ego to block you from what God truly has for you, becausse this is your choosing and not his best for you? What if he has better and he is trying to reveal to you that this person is not it, but you are determine to make it "it". Ego is just a form of pride and pride is a deadly companion, that will cause you to miss out on what is best.

[@antrianewsome2463]

1000%. Again, no one is worth relinquishing your right to happiness, Joy, peace, the right kind of love, healing and so much more. If you don’t truly love you, then who else will?

[@bnice3012]

I was that person. I saw all the caution signs, but I was too busy looking for the red flags.

[@vell4263]

Good point

[@KimThompson-v2g]

A loss is a gain Depends on your perspective

[@married2purpose]

Sunken cost fallacy...

[@robertgibson2326]

There are truly an insurmountable number of variables to consider when addressing this question. The man's age, whether he is married, vested timeline in the relationship, financial factors, etc. Truly not a question that can be answered as a collective.

[@sdmoore89]

I think that most men dont wont to have to go through the process of finding someone else. It be hard meeting people nowadays

[@tatianadaniel3569]

It's not easy to start over with anyone, man or woman. It's not fair for men to admit to what you've just said, then turn around and blame women for filing for divorce. Several studies reveal that men do holistically better when they are married (or partnered). They do better than single men, single women, AND married women. Simply put: most men never leave because *they're* the ones who still benefit grratly from the relationship.

[@Allthingslacy91]

It’s not hard finding or meeting people. It’s hard finding good people.

[@JenniferaLawson]

Sometimes a person wants to stay in the pain and just stick through the pain ,I did the same thing with my x

[@veryhumble449]

I don’t think the question was answered properly

[@grayscar05]

Replace love with codependent and thats yo answer. These dudes don't know what love is. Love aint toxic. And most men don't know how to take care of themselves which is why they dont wanna leave

[@iRespectMen]

THIS!!! God bless you. Exactly my situation. Now I'm leaving, he's beginning saying he loves me. I said you don't repeatedly cheat on someone you claim you love and what you're missing is the security I provided because I paid all the bills because you haven't had a job in years and never had to pay any bills since we got married and I thought you would change but inside you got lazier and even had the audacity to cheat on me.

[@usmanvcx]

It has more to do with sticking to a commitment. Most men sacrifice their happiness to fight to keep their family together. Women sacrifice the family for their happiness.

[@tatianadaniel3569]

@@usmanvcx Lies. The truth is all throughout the comments. Men stay because they fear singleness and marriage benefits men astronomically more than it does women. Women leave because we recognize, we're the only one giving the marriage all that's required to make it work. No marriage works when only one cares to preserve it.

[@sherrodmorgan3002]

It's a mixture of things especially if the man is truly invested....

[@zero1188]

Hardship makes you a man, i always hated that mentality. Relationships are effortless not hard. If it hard, she dont like you lkke that. Not complicated

[@lefashionerd]

Men are challenge driven… either it being a good or bad one!

[@sentimentallyspeaking4258]

Makes me wonder if men stay because they’re more forgiving or more tolerant? Specifically when the issues are due to fault of their partner.

[@tatianadaniel3569]

@@sentimentallyspeaking4258 Women are more forgiving, men are more tolerant. Women forgive, believing for the best in the man. Men tolerate because there is still more benefit than not, in staying.

[@sentimentallyspeaking4258]

@@tatianadaniel3569 I concur!! I had two different people on my platform who felt otherwise.

[@bolotabr12]

Scary cats 😅

[@Demerrisk72]

The sunken cost fallacy. The fallout from ending a relationship. Everything we lose at the end. Especially if we have children, marriage, house, etc; We fall in love with the idea of who our women are when we meet them. Then after they get comfortable they take off the mask, we meet the real them, and then we're kinda stuck.

[@JenniferaLawson]

That's what I did with my ex but he didn't care

[@Vavavoum-gr8]

My ex got married. It’s been less than a month and he’s extremely unhappy but says he will stick it out to the end. He calls me daily. I have stopped answering

[@Simply_JustKim]

We want to know that you’re crazy about us. Sometimes men are so cool we don’t believe you care.

[@erikaparker3574]

If he’s married either it is his fault why the marriage failed or he stays for the image & doesn’t want to fail! People on the outside think they have a wonderful marriage. The man stays but he is cheating.

[@babyluvjr]

Unfortunately that love can be one sided.... Men love unconditionally, but we are loved based on the CONDITIONS that are set UPON us.... Also alot of times we are in love with WHAT WAS ,what COULD HAVE BEEN, and the hopes that the nostalgia of the relationship will return.....alot of times, once its done its done...however we as men, wont get off of the sinking ship

[@jas1565]

Men do not love unconditionally. Most people love based on conditions they've set for their partner. Only children are loved unconditionally.

[@babyluvjr]

@jas1565 women children and animals, are loved unconditionally ma, .. It's called a Godly love..., I guess I'm speaking for myself but I respect what u believe

[@jas1565]

@@babyluvjr women aren't loved unconditionally. It's crazy to say that they are.

[@babyluvjr]

@@jas1565 if u say so.....I'll leave it like that

[@tatianadaniel3569]

​@@babyluvjr Men won't even CONSIDER taking a woman seriously if he doesn't find her attractive. There is NO man that has loved a woman simply because she exist. Stop the cap.

[@HisSacredLove]

True my neighbor will not leave hos gf for nothing she doesn't work, she is a hot mess she cuss him out start fights eith him this man works the graveyard shift and she purposely start fights with him before he goes I'm talking yelling screaming degrading it's absurd vut he wont leave he hust stays like a 🤡🤦🏽‍♀️

[@BiGMovaNature]

If men are unhappy in marriages how come they don’t file for divorce like a women when she isn’t happy? Especially if he can be sneaky on the side with confidence, do that single & confident! It’s the uncomfortable conversations that will have people doing everything they really want to do but can’t be proud of it. Why?

[@TheSlc1982]

And this is why women have to initiate the divorce, because men get lazy, or scared and just stay. It usually takes a woman a long time to physically pick up and leave but eventually she will.

[@usmanvcx]

If there’s a child involved, you both should try harder to work it out. 9/10 times it’s something super minor.

[@tatianadaniel3569]

@@usmanvcx Too much ignorance in your statement. Most people don't file for divorce because of something "super minor".

[@jayew76]

Man well be in a whole marriage and in a solid relationship still cheat. Says he short changed himself in some areas, but will not leave because the wife is the breadwinner. He cheats to feel appreciated. They stay because they because it sometimes benefit them like it would benefit the woman.

[@dealswithnormiesallday]

It's because men are the ones taking relationships seriously. Men are much better at pair bonding and forming a real connection with their partners. Women love differently than men. Women love what men can do for them. Their love is transactional. We all know they can get that kind of love from anyone. That's why they are more likely to monkey branch.

[@Simply_JustKim]

Are men addressing their needs or are they enduring in silence.

[@xfacme7815]

I been dumped in every restaurant by a man so I know this is a lie