A bipolar misdiagnosis, and how Brendan Fraser tried to tell me it was Autism

[@fishymcfish111]

Me too! Such a common misdiagnosis. Bipolar disorder feels a lot like old fashioned “female hysteria” to me, which was probably also female autism. We just have such intense emotional senses, and so we are written off as illogical because nobody around us can understand the depth of the totally logical emotions we are feeling. Never again will I let others convince me my brain doesn’t work. It’s working just fine, and my emotions are here to help me, whether or not they can comprehend the depth of them.

[@dawnb8906]

I so relate. I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar disorder and a year later was diagnosed with BPD (around 40 years of age). After yet another assessment i was told I didn't score for either but OCPD was suggested. What a confusing minefield!! Fast forward 10 years I finally get diagnosed with ADHD (only after my daughter received a diagnosis) and am awaiting an Autism assessment. Looking back one lady who was helping me get back into work did suggest I may have "high functioning Autism" which intrigued me but I immediately dismissed it as I had a of the traditional stereotypical thinking about the white male autistic profile. Despite all of the (male) doctors and psychiatrists i saw over the years she was the only person to intuitively spot what was causing my struggles. It seems that this journey through the mental health system is far from uncommon for us women of a certain generation. Now i know why all the meds and therapies i tried harmed rather than healed. Pretty scary when you think about it 😢

[@hollyoddly]

Yes! I relate so much to all of this! You are right that is is far too common for women, especially 30+. I was on lithium for so long and told I couldn't take an SSRI because it would make me manic. Now, I'm on an SSRI and a stimulant for ADHD, and it has made a world of difference to my mental health. And no hypomanic or manic episode in sight. So frustrating to think back on the years we lost.

[@sarahferrell5458]

My therapist who died in many 2019, after I finished chemo for cancer, we talked about my OCPD… never dx with that, but it explained why I do things the same way all the time. Now my 86 yr old mother accepts me for who I am as being autistic. I have a brother who is like level at age 3, and honestly, my father was likely autistic. He died 25 years ago. But it just makes SENSE!!!

[@cristineroberge5546]

Hello, i'm a newly diagnosed AuDHD women, i'm 49 , i'm level one, i do need help for some things. I have also anxiety and just coming out of an autistic burnout. But i'm still fragile so. I'm so glad to find your channel. I love the way you tell your story, you are so brave :D i would'nt dare.

[@Ambrose-tarot]

I totally understand that feeling of expansiveness and freedom when you realize that you are autistic and not bipolar. I have a similar story. 😊

[@annaphallactic]

I too was originally misdiagnosed with bipolar before doing EMDR for like 2 years. Turns out I was just a traumatized autistic person this whole time 😭. Thank you for sharing your story, it's very similar to my experience.

[@lennyestarr-bruce4842]

I'm so glad you finally received the correct diagnosis. You did a wonderful job telling your story.

[@BubbleBird-u5s]

I related to everything you have said! I'm currently struggling to get disability for depression, but I know it is my Narcolepsy and undaignosed Autism. I have nieces and nephews and they have made me decided to never have kids, so respect for the effort you have to do to raise a child while being neurodivergent.

[@sensrenee]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have PTSD, ADHD and am considering if I have undisgnosed autism as a woman in her forties. My 13 year old daughter has ADHD and autism and I sometimes look at her traits and say that can't be me, but we are all different. Thank you so very much for your contribution to my understanding of what autism looks and feels like for you! I fully understand the driving anxieties, in fact, I watched your video to not think about me having to drive our car to the mechanic to get winter tires put on our van in an hour. Thank you for your courage to speak out, you inspire me.

[@mikalareads]

I resonated with this video so much. Thank you for making this. I scheduled to get myself an assessment because I think it could explain so much

[@brandistillart]

All the confirmations 🤯 It really brought me joy to see your face filling with relief, affirming you deeply knew something was not right… maybe even on a cellular level. I’m really happy for you, Holly.

[@hollyoddly]

I'm glad I was able to connect with you on this! What you said is really well put. Once I realized what adult autism looks like, I really knew. The formal assessment was really a confirmation of my knowing.

[@eScential]

@@brandistillart mitochondrial level

[@darcy606_artist]

as an autistic person, I've always been very basic with my meals. a meal to me could be something like just some cereal, or some rice with some seaweed, really basic things with no sides, simple to make (i have a rice cooker). and as a result of my very simplistic views on meals and food consumption, my parents always had something negative to say when i would cook because I'd suggest something that I viewed as a complete meal, they would tell me it wasn't and that i needed to cook like 3 other things alongside that, and then i wouldn't be able to cook because i can't cook things that i don't feel like eating, and that's usually most things. i frequently skip meals simply because the only thing that sounds edible to me is something i don't want to make and i'm out of cereal lol

[@dagmarwulfe]

I relate to skipping meaks because the only thing I want to eat is something I don’t want to make. And the reverse- skipping because the only thing I feel like making is something I don’t want to eat.

[@darcy606_artist]

@@dagmarwulfe yes, this! i'm the same way lol

[@sarahferrell5458]

Omg, YES, I startle SO easily!! People who know me know they have to approach me carefully. Lololol

[@sarahferrell5458]

Yes to teachers’ pet!! I’ve never been married. I can fake normal conversations, but I cannot have close relationships. Could be childhood sex abuse… 🤷‍♀️

[@sarahferrell5458]

Omg yes, EXAMPLES!!! I really need them to understand.

[@Christa.Chronicles]

Thank you so so much for making this video Holly, I think it says enough about me that i was watching this video while simultaneously researching the origins of selective cat breeding because someone asked me a singular question about a week ago now😂 Your vulnerability is always something I admire and aspire to. I can confirm that being in a room of other autistic people is a magical experience! I was misdiagnosed with social anxiety, but what got me to look elsewhere was noticing that very specific people never made me feel nervous or doubt myself- turns out autism has been the common thread all along!

[@hollyoddly]

I once read a quote that said: I go down rabbit holes that would make Alice jealous. As a librarian, I bet you go down some fantastic research rabbit holes! haha! I can totally relate! I would love to be able to find a community of autistic people, because it's been exhausting to try to make friends with neurotypical people. I'm glad that there are people like you out there that understand what it's like to have a brain like mine.

[@Christa.Chronicles]

@@hollyoddly that really would be so neat! im lucky to have a bit of one at work, but it would be so cool to hear more experiences!

[@dagmarwulfe]

Oh, forgot to say, watching my kids burns me out too. There’s only two of them and now they’re in elementary school, so it’s slightly better than when they were truly tiny, but it’s still quite exhausting, to an extent that others do not seem to experience. I struggle with feeling guilty for burning out so quickly, even though I love my children dearly. Burnout is not the same thing as not loving someone, but my evil inner critic insists it is the same and she can be very loud sometimes.

[@hollyoddly]

I know how you feel! It's really hard for me, too.

[@autizmunleashed]

22 years misdiagnosed as bipolar (type 2). I just watched you video about level 2 autistism, I was suggested earlier by a friend that I seem to be level two. Please get in touch with me, let's talk.

[@sarahferrell5458]

I recently saw a young man and just blurted out, are you autistic? YES. I basically noticed him for some reason… I was actually surprised. But wow. He was not acting “weird” in any way.

[@sarahferrell5458]

I just recognized him. He had been to a local college, but had been going to grad school at Harvard. That’s all I knew about him.

[@fishymcfish111]

Us autistic people have incredible pattern recognition skills and it’s easy to see when another person is autistic. I used to doubt it and not want to be so bold as to assume, but now I realize that I can actually just tell.

[@jade4994]

Sorry this is my third comment on your channel today but I'm loving it, ha. This was my story too!! Incorrect Bipolar disorder diagnosis for over a decade! (I later got this changed to Borderline Personality Disorder and it wasn't until I ended up at the psych ward that they realised it was Autism all along 😅) What amazed me was the traits they listed, such as rocking, leg bouncing, lack of eye contact, were ones the community mental health team had previously blamed on mania or depression?! And that had just been weird things I did throughout my entire life, which the community mental health team didn't even include in my diagnosis initially and stated 'problems began age 14'. It's all so confusing and you do feel a bit like they are trying to fit you into a box that they can 'treat'

[@registromalplena2514]

@@jade4994 Wow. Seems like they really got it wrong! I have heard of other women getting diagnosed with BPD, and other things. This is the first time I have heard of anyone getting diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.

[@jessicanuwer3710]

@@registromalplena2514 I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified when I was about 13 (I think it was 8th grade). My sister and aunt were both diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and the docs couldn't come up with anything that fit better because it was the early 2000's. I never felt it was the right dx, but I also couldn't effectively identify or communicate my inner experience. I was quite non-compliant with meds until I was about 17, which is when I was in my second semester of undergrad and my executive function was beginning to be tested. The meds never worked, but no doc would listen to me that Bipolar Disorder didn't fit. In 2021, after 17 ish years and my dx evolving from BP-NOS to BP-II to BP-I, I FINALLY got the BP dx dropped and am now only being treated with meds for ADHD. I'm also autistic, but I don't have the resources to get the official doctor-approved stamp for that yet. My aunt and sister have since found out their bipolar diagnoses weren't quite right either. I wonder if a BP misdiagnosis is more common for AuDHD while a BPD misdiagnosis is more common for autism... Now I'm gonna have to see if there's any data on that lol.

[@thirdthoughtstarot]

As an AudDHD so much of this is so relatable, thank you so much for sharing this.

[@thirdthoughtstarot]

Also oh man, the driving thing. I've never heard it described so perfectly. It sucks, and I know what you exactly mean.

[@hollyoddly]

Yes! Once I heard other autistic adults talk about very relatable struggles I also had but no one else seemed to understand, it blew my mind. We aren't alone out there!

[@heedmydemands]

I love your videos, it's so great to have your perspective ❤

[@dagmarwulfe]

I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoy your videos and find them helpful. They are pleasant for me to watch and I relate to much of what you share.

[@BubbleBird-u5s]

I was exposed to mental health through a college course when I was 18. I began researching because my family is dysfunctional. I ended up thinking I was autistic around the time I was 20. By the time I ended up getting treatment at 23, I knew what to avoid saying because the symptoms did not match any diagnosis. I was having hallucinations, but no delusions and still grounded in reality. Memory lapses, low motivation, irritability, pain. This was due to undiagnosed Narcolepsy. It took until I was 28 for that diagnosis when someone finally listened to me that I believed I was autistic. She wanted to help me really figure out why I struggled and while I have yet to get an autism diagnosis, I believe when I do, it will be confirmed.

[@sarahferrell5458]

Omg… ME too!!no one assess adults where I live, so my family figured out autism is more likely, and makes SO much more sense….. even my psychiatrist agrees that it makes “ a lot of sense” I’ve been seeing him for about 15 years. But th4 BP dx is how I got disability, because, it was everyone’s best guess at the time. Working was so hard. I ended up just crying before even I’d beeen working at jobs for 18 months, max.

[@sarahferrell5458]

Thank god for my fairly. My parents met in medical school in 1960.

[@sarahferrell5458]

Yes, hard time with transitions, even change of seasons!!

[@sarahferrell5458]

I stay home so much anymore-I LOVED Covid times…. lol??

[@sarahferrell5458]

My psychiatrist figured out I’m adhd, so he’s been treating me for it for years, and it really does help.

[@sarahferrell5458]

I’m 57. We figured it out some time back-in the past year.

[@thirdthoughtstarot]

I can't wait to watch this!

[@themissingsock2437]

omg *we are twins* I was mis dx'd with depression after I moved, and then mis dx'd w/bipolar b/c, and I quote "you talk too much". And when my family member was dx'd with autism, I went to get "assessed" but was told I couldn't have autism "because you can drive and are nothing like my class of kids I watch" to which I responded, "because I"m an adult woman, I'm not a boy under ten years old, I've learned how to navigate the world", and so I got a *second* opinion and it was autism.

[@Who-en2vo]

It has taken me until my 30’s to have a better understanding of myself and how I operate. I think most of my small circle of close friends are ADHD or autistic or both. We make sense to each other. I do not have any surviving family that can attest to how I was as a kid to get an assessment, and at this point I’m assuming that whatever label I would be given I can figure out what my accommodations are on my own/through research (been doing that for 20+ years 😅 always something new to learn and reflect on) I have ehlers danlos (diagnosed formally) and have several physical disabilities from that and it’s also very common for EDS and autism to overlap. I have a few usable hours in a day and if I stay within my limits, I can have a pretty good even keel life. When I push myself I have meltdowns, and can’t function and it takes a long time to recover. I did get briefly labeled as bipolar as a teen but that didn’t end up sticking as a diagnosis. Symptoms can overlap and people can have a few things going on at once! Self knowledge is very important.

[@heedmydemands]

I couldn't count the number of times I've suddenly realized something as a revelation in my mind and people r like duh lol. Even sometimes it's something u thought u understood but suddenly realize u actually did not

[@BipolarCourage]

Given bipolar 1 has at least 1 episode of mania (which is very noticeable), surprised anyone would misdiagnose mania.

[@hollyoddly]

When you say you're surprised that they misdiagnosed my autism as bipolar 1, as if it can't happen, it makes me feel invalidated in what I went through. They misdiagnosed manic symptoms in me on an ongoing basis over the course of 7 years, which was a disaster for my mental health. Many psychiatrists don't understand autism, and so it's really important to both educate themselves and understand the whys behind the behaviors a patient has. BPD and bipolar are two of the most widely misdiagnosed conditions in adult women, when it's actually autism.

[@BipolarCourage]

@@hollyoddly mania is very obvious & also bipolar disorder has episodes so only need one elevated mood episode. A lot of people reject a bipolar disorder diagnosis (been there done that). It is possible to have both autism & bipolar disorder but the neurodiversity bias is that bipolar disorder is a misdiagnosis. How many clinicians saw you over 7 years? ADHD & bipolar disorder can look similar (also possible to have both). Stimulants for ADHD can trigger mania and/or rapid cycling if do have bipolar disorder.

[@hollyoddly]

@@BipolarCourage I know all of this already and have been formally assessed and proven that my bipolar diagnosis was a misdiagnosis. I don't feel a need to prove any of this information to you. You are not a mental health professional, nor have you treated me. I would never make assumptions about your mental health/disregard your own words about your mental health journey and I expect the same respect. What you are doing is not okay.

[@BipolarCourage]

@@hollyoddly you sound mighty defensive. This preaching that autistic women are all misdiagnosed bipolar disorder & borderline disorder is harmful, as encouraged to stop meds and/or therapy. Nothing is actually done about an adult autism diagnosis.

[@BipolarCourage]

@@hollyoddly all of these psych diagnoses including ASD have subjective criteria. There are no independent tests such as blood tests or gene tests to support a diagnosis. So nothing is "proven".

[@kaizey]

Speaking of autistic pattern recognition... Sorry this is so damn random, and I hope I don't weird you out, but my mom used to have melanoma which is probably why I notice/am paranoid about these kinds of things. I noticed in a few of your videos that it appears you maybe possibly have a coin sized bump around the mole on your neckline. It could just be the way the light is hitting your skin, so it could also be absolutely nothing. But just wanted to point it out in case it IS actually there and not just a mirage, and if it's been there a while, I'd maybe get that mole checked out. Again SO SORRY if it's nothing. I don't even know why I noticed it, it's very subtle, whatever it is.

[@themissingsock2437]

I noticed the same thing and I was worried as well, like legit, "I hope that it's not melanoma and would it be rude to say something" but I agree with you, I hope that OP is okay. She deserves to be okay.

[@0.-.0]

This is me