A Chinese Funeral Taught Me This!

[@renyyantono1847]

It is truly extraordinary to be able to display village traditions in China. (sadness and a series of traditional ceremonies for the death of your husband's grandmother). You tell the story so beautifully through a series of pictures accompanied by a very coherent narrative. Please accept my condolences.

[@whowantsusernames]

Very profound and beautiful. Thank you for all the work you put into sharing all of this.

[@MiriamFollin]

Thank you! 🙏

[@sevcents]

Us westerners would think it very sinister to keep our own coffin in our home before our death, but I actually love that, as it makes death seem not scary, and the coffin seem like just a piece of furniture we'll get to use someday. Is the family's religion buddhist or shamanistic? Beautiful video.

[@despro8088]

Taoist

[@VashtiWood]

Wow, Miriam! Thanks so much for sharing! What a beautiful way of sending off a family member! And how beautiful to be upheld by community in this way. I'm Australian. I grew up with Italian immigrants. My husband has Chinese heritage but was raised Caucasian. Watching this reminded me how precious true community is, and how privileged I am to experience that, with my extended family, and with my faith community! It reminds me of that beautiful verse from the Bible: "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." .(Galatians 6:2) How precious it is to be given the opportunity to help another bear their burdens! And suffering will help you bear yours in time! ❤️

[@yvonnebirch6026]

Thank you for this document Miriam ! I think it is wonderful how the family prepares together in community. It helps with the grieving process. In the US and in the UK to I believe we have Hospice nurses who help to prepare the family . I had that for my husband and it was a great support for me. In Holland where I am from we can keep the body in the home in a refrigerated casket. My friend was surrounded by her children in her son’s home for 5 days. It was also quite beautiful. I loved the colorful traditions of the Chinese people in the rural areas. Thank you for your explanation 🙏💕🌷

[@clarissagafoor5222]

It`s interesting to see the differences between the north of China and here in the South. Especially surrounding attitudes surrounding death. We grieve because we are grieving our own death almost as much as the one who`d passed. That`s why the communal weeping is important and something we should all embrace.

[@dreamcreate116]

So much more authentic. Rural China has much to teach us.

[@MiriamFollin]

It sure has!

[@brigittekalama7643]

Loved to hear your impressions of the funeral❤ Very thoughtful. I am glad you did this video in English. Learned a lot.

[@CheryleeWilcox]

Wow...this was a wonderful explanation of a Chinese funeral.

[@MiriamFollin]

Thank you 🙏

[@wendyshoowaiching4161]

It's partially wrong. No crying. Will confuse the death. They can still hear within 3 days and out of body

[@AbHarians]

It's a northwest China culture. In China, different region has different culture and tradition. This tradition looks completely different with southeast China or south china like in the province of Guangdong and Fujian. I have been to the funeral in southwest China (Sichuan province) and it's also looks different.

[@AbHarians]

According to my analysis, China is like the European Union. While Europe is divided between countries and China is divided between provinces and each countries or provinces have different culture and tradition. I mean The Roman Empire is like China today.

[@Keithlovejenny]

Chinese are full of superstition; they must know the true living Almighty God-Jesus Christ, they are following Satan not God!

[@xueling02able]

Thank you Miriam for creating such a beautiful video of a Chinese funeral in rural China. Appreciate your lovely narrative which paints such a meaningful scene, giving us a very clear understanding of something seldom talked about or even seen in funerals today.

[@kamillaingemansson3408]

Tack för att du delade detta. Jätte intressant. Jag har varit i Kina och det finns som en naturlig andlighet där som vi förlorat mycket av här, som du säger pga moderniserat samhälle där alla förlorat kontakten med sig själva, varandra och naturen och det naturliga. Så du är verkligen lyckligt lottad som har möjligheten att vara med om det här. Jag skulle verkligen vilja leva som du där i Kina. Jag älskar Kina. Det var min första och bästa resa jag gjort, när jag åkte dit när jag var 20 år och reste runt. Det var en magisk resa, så himla intressant. Och jag har minnen från tidigare liv i Kina. Nu är jag 55 år och skulle gärna åka dit igen. Jag kommer att följa dig fortsättningsvis oxå för det är jätte intressant. Lycka till. Välsignelser från mig.

[@teech7281]

Thank you for posting the video. I'm Chinese and used to live in Southern China. We have something similar, but there are many different cultures within China. It's a vast country with fifty-six ethnic groups, each with its own unique culture and customs

[@rachelleallen-sherwood8527]

Thank you for your thoughtful, sensitive and eye-opening explanation of how death is dealt with in rural China. Beautiful video. May Yonghong's grandmother rest in peace.

[@calamityjane9920]

These insights make me feel that we are all connected across the world. Nobody can tell us that people in other parts of the world are our enemies, whose economies we have to fight or even wage war against. We are all people on this planet and share the same grief, the same concern for our children, the sick and the elderly and celebrate and love in the same way. We shouldn't let anyone manipulate us, but listen to our hearts!

[@semperveritas3]

Wise words and so true❣️

[@kingmanL7309]

Miriam has sharp observation and sensitive mind in different cultures. Preparation of a coffin is a long lasting custom through China. I am from the southern China. My maternal grand-mom purchased her coffin around her 60s and left it at my father's living room for some years. My father often prompted her not to forget to take it back. My grand mom passed away at 95 after being taken home from hospital on her last day. However, I am not quite sure whether the coffin was that one I saw previously. It's also quite common people might make fun with each others at funeral dinner, grieves turning into laughs within hours. And this probably only happens on occasion of people dying fairly old. In China, it means 白喜 white happiness. People won't make fun if the dead is young.

[@kyledang4063]

Wow, first time hear this, coffin in the living room.

[@kingmanL7309]

it was actually not the coffin itself but pieces of wood. @@kyledang4063

[@joyfullwin]

Hi Miriam , I followed you for quite sometime now and so very happy to see you starting to post here again. This video just take it to the next level and goodness (not grandma passing part), just the content and how to explain the cultural, tradition stuff. I am Chinese born and raised in a different country but my grandparents and parents are very traditional and follow every culture traditions to the teeth people. Me and my family live in US and my husband is from US and I was telling him a few times in the past about the wedding, funeral back home are week long process. I also told him that at the traditional funeral, there are scheduled crying process and that when someone pass, there should be non-stop crying take place with relatives, family members, friends on "crying" rotation. There were even professional criers i remembered witnessing in one funeral when I was quite young. I never understood about the necessity of must be non-stop crying thing. Anyway when I told my husband that long time ago, he thought that was the strangest thing. Then when I saw your video this morning, i showed it to him and he said "wow, you weren't making that up!! :" Anyway, please keep posting you and your family life journey. we love it!!! Wishing everyone love and good health and happiness!!!

[@85fmf]

When I clicked I thought I would watch a couple of minutes only , but I watched the whole thing. You didn’t speak too much to make it tiring, you kept it interesting and I also I like your voice it’s calming.

[@JanghoTango]

Hi Miriam this is definitely your best video, if not one of the best, it is eyes opening, never been seen before, and philosophical at the same times. And it is heartening to see how open minded you are in accepting and understanding another culture and learn from it. Thanks for a beautiful video ❤

[@kafka738]

A very touching video! I like your point of view about the funeral ritual. You are a wise woman and have a very sensible mind. You also observe things in very detail. From your observation, a bible verse pops out in my mind that pretty match the scene, which is as below: “A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing” (Ecclesiastes 3:4-5). It is quite interesting that Yonghong’s relatives mourned and laughed at a scheduled time during the funeral ritual. I never attended any traditional Chinese funeral rituals, except one when I was a little kid. However, I did attend quite few wakes (ceremonies) in church. In church, they scheduled a time to sing hymns, a time to have family and friends sharing their personal memories about the deceased person that sometimes make guests laugh or cry. So, this might be the same ideas of mourning and laughing at a scheduled time but in different form. Different cultures reflect their conceptions of death differently. I see western culture tends to honor and celebrate the deceased person’s achievements in the world whereas Chinese culture expresses their emotion of lost loved one as well as caring the deceased person's future. Although both western and Chinese view death as a transition to another existence, western family doesn’t try to give the soul any gifts, but Chinese family burns paper money, paper car, and paper house hoping that the soul will receive those paper properties and live comfortably in the other world. I like Yonghong relatives and neighbors gather together to eat, work, cry, even entertain in a long week. I am sure that so many people around during this week definitely reduce the sadness and bring comfort to the family. Your ending with "Birth and dead" stimulated by Yonghong’s expression about transition from sleep to dead is a thought-provoking.

[@MiriamFollin]

Beautiful verse, thank you for sharing! That is also an interesting observation, that in the west we focus on what the person did, not on the afterlife. Maybe because many do not believe in the afterlife, and then ones who do (e.g. in Christianity) they believe that the afterlife is a beautiful life, without struggles and needs of worldly things such as money and items. In stead of us humans helping guide the soal, God will take on that role.

[@5iTube]

@@MiriamFollin There are a lot of KZbin videos on Near Death Experience or NDE. There's even a book titled Life after Life by Raymond Moody. Dying for the dying person are very beautiful. Almost all of them who survived death said they didn't want to come back to this world. I lost my partner last year and he's a lovely Christian. Life has been extremely difficult since he's gone but my Christian faith has given me hope. I was born in a Chinese village. I grew up seeing the funeral ceremonies in the village and it was very sad but losing your other half is beyond sadness. It's the psychological pain that we have to deal with everyday. The pain is very much like the physical pain. It was like someone stabbing in your head... It's all part of life on earth. BTW you are a very kind and talented young woman.

[@2Cambell]

Thank you Miriam! It's interesting to learn about how another culture handles the passing of a loved one. My thoughts are with your family... 🙏 It's similar, yet a little different, here in my community in Texas. Many adults choose to pay and plan their funeral, burial, vault, coffin, head stone, decoratio, etc. and type of service. We have been through this many times in the past few years... Our family, neighbors and friends help us with meals, thoughts and prayers. Then we generally have a wake. It's in the evening, before the day of the funeral. It's typically open casket, unless the end was unfortunate or the person appears less than the sum of their life. At this time, people can visit the deceased, offer comfort, hope and respect for everyone. Then typically, there is a religious service (often the rosary). Then the next day is the funeral. It is much the same as the wake, except that the service is the last and accompanied by an official religious service and often the family and guests will choose to speak about their loved one. Then it's on to the grave site, mausoleum or wherever to be sealed. Sometimes a wake and funeral don't happen. Sometimes, one chooses cremation. Then it's a memorial service, with people standing up to speak, sometimes a religious service and then the ashes go where they're supposed to go. Sometimes they want out at sea, sprinkled over somewhere special or simply interred with their passed loved ones. The family, friends and community still brings food and assistance for quite some time.

[@siberianhusky5283]

Deepest condolences to Miriam & Yong Hong family. A very beautiful documentary indeed. Thxs

[@fredamarty1]

Thank you for sharing this with us, although it's sad, it's so beautiful at the same time.

[@mafrun]

Thank-you for sharing this intimate time with the family. Love, from Canada

[@hangtuah888]

Thank you for sharing your thought considerations of what is a sad and mournful event. My parents passed away and actually it is not classified as crying but instead wailing.

[@mahbrum]

Thank you for your insight. It's important what you expressed in your comment :)

[@tommos1]

Very interesting mini documentary you made for this. Excellent work.

[@LetticeTravels]

Wow, thank you for sharing Miriam. What a sad yet special time. I wish the best for you and your family.

[@danshibuya6593]

Wow Miriam, this is an incredible documentary film, really beautiful and meaningful work thank you so much. I learned a lot and will take what I learned onwards xx

[@novaking3633]

Oh my goodness! Miriam give us a such deep insight explaining of traditional Chinese funerals. It’s the real study of anthropology, no doubt!

[@christophersyu]

Beautifully documented.

[@Lily-zx8en]

Thank you for sharing this tradition with us. I never thought of how important it is to have time to process along with family and have a community to support you during death. I really wish the modern world would allow this.

[@OyesyesOyes]

Thank you so very much for the meaningful pic frames at an oldfashioned Chinese funeral. Very much more grateful for your insightful narratives that bridged Chinese and Western death customs. I wish your vlogs begin more exploration and understanding about Chinese culture of an ancient people and civilization.............

[@flytolight]

That's a kind of farewell party for the family in countryside.

[@carols3517]

Beautiful how you observed and you explained your thoughts.

[@MiriamFollin]

Thank you 🙏

[@paecpc]

Interesting to know about it in details, thanks for sharing!

[@HristosIisusEdomnul]

I would give millions of 'like'. Be blessed! May God bless us all, protect us all in love , Harmony and unity! ♥️

[@lalannieknoll4456]

Thank you for this beautiful video. Love all the explanations and traditions. Death comes so quickly and in the western world, the funeral passage passes by so quickly. This allows for proper grieving when it happens as opposed to weeks later when everyone is gone home and the reality sinks in.

[@Lily-ko1li]

Oh Miriam! Just cried... beautiful summary of death process

[@janinafisher101]

Miriam, thank you so much for sharing your experience of a Chinese funeral. So much to think about! Here in the west I find it really strange how we act as those death is not going to happen, in North America we don't say that people have died - we say they have "passed" or "passed on" as if "death" or "died" is a bad word. I cannot imagine us having our coffins in our homes! (I should have one now, in that case, as I am in my late 60s!) I think different cultures have taught us a lot, and you have shared some important aspects of the Chinese funeral you participated in that are worth considering. I look forward to watching the full funeral video too. I hope things are going well in your travels!

[@marcc1830]

Thank you for sharing that. I only heard about these week long rituals from my mother, and her brothers and sisters, these glimpses you share helps enrich those memories, especially many of those uncles and aunts are no longer with us. It is so true that in modern city life, we gave up on so much about our humanity in the name of progress. Makes me wonder we are indeed progressing or actually going backwards.

[@jeantay3586]

Thank u for sharing. Indeed it’s a time where Chinese mourn n go through the grieving process n learn to let go their loved ones who hv passed on. Condolences to Yonghong family n u for the lost, may yr maternal grandma rest in peace 🙏🙏🙏

[@geraldbai]

A series of rituals to be performed during the funeral, crying is one of them.

[@chufang50]

Well done! One of a kind👍👏👌🙏🎈🌟

[@merryfergie]

Thank you, Miriam, for recording & sharing the cultural funeral. I too, prefer the more traditional funeral rituals. I believe they are important to young & old. Grieving together is important.

[@ronn0809]

Beautiful reflections! Thanks

[@etow8034]

In most of China the casket is known as a new home, so they prepare for it when they are alive it's like they are building their new home. If you speak to funeral directors here in North America they would say people in the west should think that way as well because the vast majority do not prepare for the cost of how much a funeral costs and it becomes a burden for the family and extended family. In large cities in North America the number of unclaimed bodies at hospitals is increasing annually even when there family members they will choose not to acknowledge they know the person simply because they can't afford to pay for the funeral arrangements and they let the city bury then in an unmarked city plot.

[@楼上老朱]

so sad

[@yamingliu3067]

不同文化的巨大差异！佩服您的接受能力！

[@soothingmoments2139]

There are a lot of different funeral rites in Chinese custom.. If you go South like Guangdong or Hong Kong.. Funeral rites are towards either to Buddhist chanting by nuns and monks or performed by more complicated Tao religion that involves a few daoist or you may called them shaman in English language.. This type of rituals involved a lot music similar to this video but with more burning of paper houses... Paper cars and paper money for the deceased to use in afterlife.. These two types of Buddhist and daoist funeral rites can be used in the same funeral itself if the family wants to.. First day will be pure Buddhist chanting and second day could be the Taoist ritual.. This kind of practice is mostly seen in Chinese communities in South East Asian countries like Malaysia.. Singapore and taiwan..

[@lagringa7518]

Thank you...... so much of this beautiful tradition makes logical sense, we have sanitized death in the western world when all of us should be more aware that we are mortal... that death too is a part of life that we should accept.... and that an understanding and compassionate community are what makes for healthier humans, not detachment.

[@theonghantan862]

Thanks for sharing These is Chinese way of expressing their grievances 🙏🙏🙏.

[@JiubeiKibagami]

My deepest condolences

[@SoCal760]

I never heard of scheduled crying…But it sorta makes some sense! It would make me keep it together to get things done, since I’ll know I’ll soon be able to let it all out. Once I’m done, it would also help my mind to see that time for grieving is over, and stop drowning myself in sorry… time to get on my feet and move on

[@sharontay7482]

Miriam, first of all, my condolences to you and your husband’s family. Thank you for sharing this touching, a traditional Chinese funeral ceremony. It reminds me of my late grand mother and late father funeral back home in Singapore. We have quite a similar ritual in Taoism. It’s considered a blessing for the death to have such a ritual in our culture for the elderly.

[@jessicaw4286]

西北的葬礼风俗，特别是最后那段搞笑的部分，和我们东南沿海真不一样，我们也有特殊的哭丧，老人去世前会给自己准备棺材，邻居回来帮忙，临死前都会住在家里，都一样，只有那段搞笑的部分非常不一样。 我记得我奶奶在我十岁不到的时候就准备好棺材放在堂屋的阁楼，小时候很害怕，不明白奶奶为什么放那个在卧室内附近。现在才明白她从来不害怕死亡，坦然面对生死。今年6月她去世了，95岁，去世的时候她几个孩子都在她身边，家里准备了丧事，平平淡淡的一生，从容赴死，希望奶奶快点让我在梦里见到你，我在等你来看我

[@HeavyCreamer]

Thank you for capturing culture

[@MiriamFollin]

Thank you for watching!

[@joeyli3031]

Very good narrated for a sad procedure.

[@gshthai]

细致的观察，感人！

[@peggyclio1199]

So touching, vivid, human!! Donthey celebrate in this way every time somebody dye or it's a specific ritual dedicated to a old person?

[@Kairava]

Thank you very much for explaining everything! Humanity is so lovable! It seems that China is a very good place to be a human being, it allows you the room, understanding and protection to be one

[@wangwithcamera]

Exdraordinary editing!

[@colonylaser4860]

This is your most powerful work to date. I've always felt the commercialized funeral rites in America deprives us of our humanity, connection to the earth, and even life itself. I'm truly happy for you to have experienced something that must had been so common across all cultures, if not in the specifics but in sentiment, until the modern age. Laws and empty ideals (i.e. democracy) do not tie people of a nation together; ritual does.

[@jessicareynolds4100]

A beautiful look at the natural cycles, death is also a beginning as in birth. Thank you for sharing this.

[@ireneanlee]

Even I am a Chinese,this is new to me.

[@CrystalJones-kv9ct]

Native Americans do this as well, they keep the body in the house and everyone pays respect.

[@WalkingSideways]

China is incredibly diverse and is basically the size of a continent. So maybe the respectful thing to do is not to label something simply 'Chinese', but to actually name the place and people that your husbands family is from? Imagine saying 'European custom' instead of 'Swedish custom', as one of many Europeans it makes absolutely no sense. Sorry Miriam, I know this isn't your intention, but I find the decsriptions simplistic generalisations which can lead to stereotyping. I would advise being more specific about your husbands culture and region, your viewers are a lot more savvy and knowledgeable than you may think.

[@sugianto9450]

Mereka yang ditinggalkan menangis karena kenangan dan tidak lagi bisa berbakti secara langsung,walaupun mereka mengerti yang meninggal telah terlepas dari derita dunia..teman sejawat menghibur,mengatakan kata-kata yang menghibur,untuk mengurangi suasana duka..tradisi yang masih dijalankan di perkampungan. Diperkotaan sebisa mungkin disederhanakan. Tempat dan lingkungan menjadi faktor.

[@juliesmith1874]

Excellent video

[@MiriamFollin]

Thank you!🙏

[@LuZhao-z4q]

Great observation. The reason family members do not cook is because they are not allow to use the knife or metal utensils to prepare meat. I guess these are all related to death so you are not suppose to do. Also family members are not allowed to cut hair within a period of time as it was given by your parents.

[@peterlai9018]

I am surprised earth burial is still allowed. I remembered my grandfather was secretly buried when he passed away over twenty years ago.

[@ling5544]

Yes.modernity pulls us out of the big community. Maybe we have more personal freedom, but we also lose the support from other members. You have an eye of anthropologist. Have you thought about doing such research?

[@Myschoolsucks-k4s]

Thank you for sharing. It’s touching to hear different culture and different practice.

[@wendywright3914]

Why was money burned? In an area or in a family that might not have much wouldn’t this be a hardship?

[@MiriamFollin]

I’m sorry, I should have clarified! It’s paper money, not real money. It’s a specific type of money, a specific paper, that is seen as money in the after world! It’s very cheap in our world ☺️

[@wsmithe2209]

@@MiriamFollin - Burning paper money means grandma will have money to spend after life. The same as house and cars.

[@wendyshoowaiching4161]

ABSOLUTELY NO CRYING ALLOWED. WILL CONFUSE THE DEATH. Open religious music & songs of meaning

[@鲁迅-y3d]

dam，我听这哭声，我就想哭

[@albertchiu655]

culture !

[@kyledang4063]

Such a great video! I came from China, but have no idea about this tradition. I think it is not"漢族“ culture.

[@chinnl4951]

When I was young,I saw such funerals in my country in the 1960s and early 1970s. My parents came to Southeast Asia from southern China. My parents are Han Chinese and basically all my neighbours are Han Chinese .

[@felixaustin47]

That was the most stupid comment I’ve ever seen! Han or not that is a question to be identified by themselves but not you! It’s a Han culture reserved from the era of begging of Confucianism. The land was captured by Western Xia but the residents were and are Han!

[@julioduan7130]

你可能在城市里待久了，农村都是这样子的啊。就像up主说的一样，城市里的人没有时间也没有条件去办这样的葬礼，所以传统就在城市中慢慢消失。

[@kyledang4063]

Thanks! I never visit a village when I was in China. Interesting culture!@@julioduan7130

[@kyledang4063]

Thanks for your info. I found that Chinese who live outside of China, specially in the southeast Asia, would hold on tradition more than the people in the big city of mainland China. I love it.@@chinnl4951

[@joytotheworld3044]

Oh my goodness, I have never seen this before. I guess it is their tradition. Special time to cry? That is a bit shocking.

[@武安君-e7z]

一个星期的葬礼太难熬了，我这边一般是2-3天，第三天早晨8点前葬礼结束。

[@台湾井盖质量世界第一]

我们这里也是第三天下葬，没有男扮女装环节，其他都差不多

[@sharontay7482]

Mi

[@Lily-ko1xw]

这是中国大西北的穆斯林文化，中国很大，民俗民风都不同，做为一个中国人我也第一次见，开了眼界。

[@hokeatseng4094]

⭐🧡💯

[@Hannahloves70smusic]

Shamanism?

[@clarissagafoor5222]

Daoism, I think. Or a form of it.

[@jasonyap7634]

Mainly Taoism with some Buddhism thrown in but a lot of traditional cultural rituals which varies from one location to another. The diasporas in other countries still maintain some of the cultural rituals and even in Catholic, Protestant, Muslims or mixed families funerals. Been to some funerals before but not in China. For most Chinese cultural rituals are more important than any religious restrictions. Remember that Confucius says Why think about Gods when we can't serve humans.

[@sirwu6041]

哲人般地思考。

[@sybilleh.4952]

[@christianecoward3298]

Wow that was a great video and mind blowing to me what your husband said about letting dying person go in peace, makes total sense to me! I love the idea of off using color in a funeral , in German villages older people wear black for 1year! Thx Miriam!

[@yananneteoh9818]

💐👳‍♀️🧘‍♂️☯️🈚😢

[@hannasalno8272]

In my Chinesse culture, white clothes and accessories represent our deepest grief when we loss someone we loved. But only when aomeone dies in very old ages (age 80 years or plus) we will put additional red features to represent that grief familes feels happy to have someone special that dies in very old age. In general, there are some similarities among many Chinesse tribes cultures. Thank you Miriam for documenting such important phase of Chinesse culture especially in YongHong family 🙏 Sending my condolences for YongHong big family 🙏 God bless you all.

[@uspwis9939]

传统文化里，花甲以上都算白喜。可以大红大绿。

[@Jimmy_Chow]

我亲历了奶奶、外公、大伯、爷爷的去世，那种感受太心痛了！永鸿米粒家人节哀

[@liwang7157]

This video is one of the best examples why people love you, are drawn to you; you are such a beautiful soul…you have an amazing personal, clear, thoughtful way to explain sth so sad, yet profound and meaningful …you do not judge, but first of all try to understand and make sense of it regardless that it might be totally different or absurd at first glance, yet somehow you could always find a way to dig deeper sense out of it, relate to it, and bring it to other people through your beautiful sharing…well done my dear!❤

[@goodhot911]

作为中国人，在葬礼上男扮女装，开玩笑的那个风俗我也是第一次见到，谢谢你让我也开了眼界～中国很大每个地方都会有不同的风俗，希望你能更好的以第三方的视角来解读中国的风土人情～ 谢谢

[@colincolin2420]

Much respect to you for a very thorough explanation for this funeral in northern China

[@MiriamFollin]

Thank you! There will be even more thorough explanations coming, I have interviewed my mother in law - so I am currently working on two videos with her!

[@mwiebe2663]

Very beautiful and moving. I agree that in modernization we have lost so much connection with death, with life, with each other. We have lost the deep understanding that many traditional, rural cultures still hold to, that we are all part of natural cycles and the natural world. Rituals connect us and can be healing. My condolences to you and your family.

[@araara4746]

As an overseas Chinese, born and raised outside mainland China, in my village there is still a tradition of crying like that, even though it is almost extinct. Those who cry are usually women, wearing head scarves made from used flour sacks, so that their faces cannot be seen when they cry. Their cries are also usually loud while pronouncing words like "Oh dear mother, now I don't have a mother... why did you go so quickly... poor me..." and usually with a rhythmic intonation like they are singing.

[@CharlieCharlie88]

Exactly the same in central China

[@tinekejoldersma]

In most old villages in Asia and Euro Asia, you could hire people who would cry for the dead. I always found that extra special. Thanks for showing your own family funeral to us, Miriam.

[@sun999]

米粒极高的文学修养，把一场悲伤的葬礼描述出美好的画面❤谢谢你对中国文化的喜欢。

[@alittlebird6599]

永鸿真的很幸运，碰到一个这么优秀的欧洲女性作为妻子。

[@sharonmiller2940]

Thank you so much for such a heartfelt and beautiful explanation. It was such an educational video...and I won't forget your sentiments!

[@ruifohui2734]

I totally believe that you must have been a well educated Chinese in your past life, very observent, very compassionate,

[@uconnjames]

Love your video. We don't see many traditional funerals now in China. It's a shame. Traditons become traditions for a reason. We need to keep the traditions, otherwise we would forget who we are or where we come.

[@MiriamFollin]

Thank you! I agree, I think traditions are sometimes abandoned too quickly without thinking about why they are there in the first place!

[@yanyanshan]

If you are not afraid of death, then there's nothing that can beat you when you're alive ❤ May your husband's grandma rest in peace 🙏🏻

[@Nomilo3943]

This is why in western countries there are a lot of depression, anxiety, ptsd after u lost some one. Because they didnt release your emotion . While in chinese tradition, the crying was meant to release those emotion so after the funeral, the living can move on with their life and not caring extra luggages like mental health problems😅. I think this is because in the old time, life was hard in china. So , the living has no time to mourn , the have to move on, work and earn a living. Thats why during funeral is the only time you are encouraged to release every single emotions. Also you notice there is an entertainment part, which meant to cheer the living , and remind them that its time to move on. Chinese tradition just full of hidden thoughtful meaning but just dont said straight forward. But its worthed to saved because its been there for thousand of years

[@paiged6120]

So profound...so beautiful, touching, insightful....special. thanks so very much for shaing

[@MiriamFollin]

Thank you for watching! ❤️

[@kaleidoscopeallie]

I so clearly remember my first experience of a death in the family after moving to Sweden. As an American I was used to funerals happening within a few days or at most a week. My daughter's swedish great grandmother lost HER mother a few days before we were scheduled to take a huge family vacation to Denmark with multiple families and cousins and everything. My American brain instantly assumed that would be cancelled. I was rather shocked to hear grandma say something to the effect of that her mother had plenty of time now so a week's vacation would hardly be a burden to wait out. Imagine my surprise when the funeral didn't happen for nearly a month. I think it is very interesting to bump into these sorts of cultural differences around the topic of death because we DO tend to be locked into very specific ideas based on our own upbringing and it's first when you sort of viscerally experience a challenge to that that you begin to see just how interwoven our ideas about death are with all sorts of thing in LIFE. Thank you for sharing your reflections!

[@Zerpentsa6598]

Funeral rites and customs vary across China, even among the Han Chinese. What you see in your video is quite different from the scenes in, say, Fijian or Anhui. In some regions, mourners still wear sackcloth, others plain white, others black, etc. If the deceased had died when touching 100, the mourners actually wear red in Fujia. There are some common practices, such as the desire to die at home, prayers, wakes, etc.