A debate on why these women prefer dating white men turns completely around | Lynn Ngugi Network

[@LynnNgugi]

Good morning team LNN! We appreciate you and your respectful feedback, please let us know what are your thoughts about today's conversation Thank you to our amazing partners at Maridady, if you are looking for trusted Car dealers, Car financing, Driving school, Capital mobilization for Importation and Leasing, or a Car&carpet wash (Spaclean) then do not hesitate to contact them on; Gilbert 0709 888 176 and Leah 0709 888 178 Kindly check their website at www.maridadymotors.com for their amazing packages. To share your story with us, send a summary to [e-mail] or [e-mail] for consideration. Thank you so much for watching🙏

[@bettygesare5948]

Read the book of Ezra 9:3now let us make a covenant before our God to send away all these women and their children in accordance with the counsel of my lord and of those who fear the commands of our God.let it be done according to the law.

[@janewambui8514]

Right now I'm on the side of white guys, what black men have done with my life is unexplainable. Thank you Lynn for bringing this, we need such conversation where it's not biased, if you're for black well, and if white well.

[@busimajacqueline9606]

Gal..!!! as someone who is not Kenyan Kenya men are so hard working and think about the future but I just do not know what happens in relationships.😂

[@sunshineheaven1802]

Power, sex, and money can show you the character of people. These things amplify our flaws.

[@muchemikimani5318]

​@@janewambui8514men in plural? How many were you married to? Had your father helped you VET?

[@kadauti892]

I'm married to a African man, been in abroad for 25yrs, dated Whiteman before, but I got married to a black guy, and I don't regret. He loves me take care of me, contribute to the society especially in Africa. I have friends who are married to Whitemen, waah wacha niawachie hapo. I respect my black African man.

[@naseriannamelok7146]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@marieheiss6560]

Waaah!, iam a victim😜😜

[@chelseasecurityservisesltd4013]

if you get the right black man its the best you can have in this planet. black love its very sweet, unfortunately its hard to find one

[@carrieshi7686]

I divorced my white X in a blink of an eye and canceled his immigration paperwork. So ladies not all white are gold as you think.

[@patrickomondi564]

​@@naseriannamelok7146nice talk

[@elizabethwachira7884]

A good man is good whether black or white...

[@salinacherutich-p9q]

A good partner comes from God lets us be prayful

[@rachaelmwota3896]

Correct

[@r.q5194]

Well put.

[@jennifermcwhortet7934]

On the percentage wise, more white men understand the marriage concept, values than black men.

[@damariszuckschwert9489]

I agree

[@bethtoox9435]

For me dating is not about someone's skin colour,but someone's inner character and if their born again,for real.

[@stellahritah4222]

Am team you😊

[@Nyakato-v3t]

❤️

[@kandisphere8828]

You can say that again!!!❤

[@zeinawangari8254]

❤😊

[@lk8702]

As for me, I would go for compatibility rather than skin color. A foundation that is centered on Godly principles would definitely work in the long term.

[@janehughes6927]

I visited Kenya with my mixed race daughter in her 20s, she went out clubbing and when she came back home she told me Kenyan men never take a no to be a no. They push and even though not interested they dont understand where the line is drawn. We had a good discussion about her experience. I have been married for a long time and seeing how my dad treated my mother I vowed never to go through the same. I was either going to be married to someone who respects and love me or stay single for life. Hence, I met my white man and even after twenty something years he still loves, spoils me rotten and together we have brought up two beautiful mature children.

[@marysegers6995]

I said the same too. I hated with passion how my culture treated women to begin with my own mother, girls in my family were called useless "wanawake ni bure" , being shouted at even in front of guests, lastly somebody walked out bcz mama couldn't bear a son. It took me so long to accept any man in my life. I hid in books, made a career for me and hid more just not to settle with anyone bt God is great His plans ain't ours. Finally when love finds you the walls you built to protect you come down and the man takes over and treat you so good, leads the way as God planned.That is where automatic submission comes from the woman. 😊

[@wyclefmarie5385]

It’s everywhere even here in the states , this is not a Kenyan thing Ms .

[@HottensiahWaweru]

Kenyan men don't understand the meaning of the word NO and they don't respect women

[@grace.k.favour8587]

Oooooh nice and glory to God.

[@kasikwagoma6740]

​@@marysegers6995that is so true, a woman by herself becomes so submissive because of the way the man treats her. She does anything for a man who treats her like gold.

[@boohookidscreations8003]

'When you go black, you can't go back' used to be true phrase. Black men being responsible and strong made them attractive. I dont know what happened to our brothers, but I pray we raise strong black men who have empathy and very secure. I hate black women comparing black and white men, because at the end of the day, your children will always be black/mixed just raise them well to be the black men you want them to be. White men however have saved our girls heartbreak and pain. Black men have taken us for granted, and fleeing to swim in the milk was only to feel secure and appreciated. Black men are not inferior to white, but black men can do better to make black women feel protected and loved. It takes emotional intelligence to shift the culture of toxic masculinity. Yes, find your good man, white/black. Great show Lynn.

[@gracekimani9771]

Exactly unfortunately most are primitive and think having mixed kids is an achievement.

[@emmyblessed2784]

True insight right there

[@rosebell8843]

Well said 👏

[@damariszuckschwert9489]

Well said

[@Galp453]

From ç

[@lina-thesongbird9459]

I never thought once that i would marry a white man. I loved kikuyus actually (I'm kamba btw). I dated my fellow Kenyans pretty much all my dating life. My previous (and last relationship with a black man) was almost 4 years of struggle. Never knowing my place with him. Always asking what are we and whats our next move. I wanted us to work out so much that i felt like i was loosing myself. When i got tired of asking i gave up and quit the relationship. Then i prayed to God and said I wasn't limiting what he can do. Asked him to give me a white man because i just want to experience what true love is. And exactly a year later i met my now husband (white man), 3 months down he proposed, we got married 6months later and i moved and joined him in Europe. We have now been married for one year and all i can say is, this man worship the ground i walk on. He adores me with every fibre of his being. He is proud of me and wants the world to know it. I have never experienced such admiration and adoration before. I thank God everyday for it.

[@mrfred3619]

If this is what women want.. then I'll never get married.....😢😢😢

[@faithnduku2637]

Congratulations dear

[@eveodinga2817]

Amen

[@allbyhisgrace8925]

It's true ,I have my hubby now almost 17years German and 2 kids, teenager and pre-teen and the kid of respect and honor and love and devotion I javelin could never get that easily in our culture which is very one sided.I never have to worry about whee he is because he let's me.know and I basically know his routine ,no games and side chicks drama, out drinking every night and coming home late -I don't know that feeling and glad I don't.I love seeing how he also plays with the kids and gives them.attwntkon where our culture its the job of the mother .My thing is it's never money,give me a millionaire African man and a middle class western cultured man I'd rather have the middle.class western cultured man,you see my point?

[@bkr528]

Ati worship what??

[@NellyMbotela254]

Skin color shouldn't be in the equation of a potential partner. In my view, at most it should be culture based and/or personality. I'm married to a caucasian, who is the best, but some of my worst experiences are from white men so it's not guaranteed that you'll encounter a good man just because he's white.

[@finnahkimani9357]

Which r those bad experiences coz am looking for a white man

[@adamjaama7086]

​@finnahkimani9357, can I date u

[@mwendapoleee]

Exactly bad men come in all colours but i also prefer white guys especially in europe i dont want to marry into any foreign culture because Africans have a variety and europeans are the most easy going they don't have these dos and don'ts.

[@debbieochako5143]

I think it's ethnicity, not colour

[@Accuface2000]

A good black gentleman is more generous than a Caucasian in many cases.

[@RuthNaya-qh2dv]

I think it's a culture issue. The place of a woman in most traditional African societies is not to be envied.

[@fiffibytom]

Yes unfortunately

[@ogechukwuprecious1358]

Yhu're ryt data why I rather go for a whiteman

[@sonitabaraka]

My own man is black n Kikuyu, me too. When we started dating, he never wanted us to eat at home, infact we could go to different counties for a week just eat out, sleeping in hotels and really enjoying ourselves. Even now many years later, he takes me out for dinner once a week, it's me who's lazy n don't want to go out. Am good cook n he enjoys my food but still insist we go out once to relax.

[@muchemikimani5318]

Would you look at that! Kikuyus who have made it work without mashindano ya gender wars. Best wishes.

[@jeddymoon3803]

As long as one is happy,it shouldn't matter even in Kenya there are some who look for tall dark and handsome only

[@Njeris-Kitchen]

I totaly agree with you as long as you are happy ❤

[@gwendolynfarrulla2430]

White man been there done that! Didn't pick him because he was white, just happened but being from USA it's different here. But was told such lies about Africa, I would love a African man so bad. Only thing when most see 👀 you from USA they are looking for a green card. In reality wouldn't mind cooking cleaning, everything for my African brothers! They are so fine.

[@meme-fs1jn]

What if a black man prefer white women or light skin women

[@schadracklinmugabo4240]

Before I came abroad I thought all white men never beat their wives and I thought they are the most caring people , loving on earth until when I experienced something different , dear sisters don’t miss lead your younger sisters 👯 thinking that only white men are the one caring, loving, or spoiling ladies with whatever thy need , even black men do that , everywhere you go you will find people of all types of behaviors and character good or bad , it’s not about the color,

[@aishasharif6097]

You make lots of sense🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@marieheiss6560]

💯the truth

[@mw6175]

Ulichapwa??

[@sweetangelsluv]

Yes black women shouldn't be sold a fantasy about any race of man, but black women should also understand that their men statistically and by proximity will will give them the worst experiences in relationships beciase of the culture and their economic compromise

[@pirisatlynnet9937]

To be honest, our men should up their game. You go to work together, you come home together, you cook, clean and plan for tomorrow, only for him to expect you to be a porn star in bed and be the first to wake up and prepare him for tomorrow....its unfair to say the least😢😢

[@muchemikimani5318]

The word is balance.

[@ladysafari01]

I think unfortunately African men are products of their environment and so are white folks....they're conditioned by society's expectations of the respective gender roles. Very few families intentionally raise sons to be balanced. We just can't expect them to change overnight. It takes alot of communication,patience and grace without being accusatory and years before finding a middle ground. I also think knowing each other's love language helps alot ( Ref: Gary Chapman's 5 love languages)

[@narcissisticabuseawareness3607]

😂😂😂😂 porn star😂😂😂😂

[@mercykalendi]

Let's be honest, a white man who is in love is very different from a black man who is in love. The problem with our black men is the culture. Culture will never have a woman's interest at heart!

[@kaliisakaita5831]

For sure white for life . These men are tender...oh God he cares and I care as well

[@marysegers6995]

Tell them baby gal😍

[@ivykashero8299]

Well said

[@Flourish_today]

​@@kaliisakaita5831😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@veronavb6858]

Well said !!

[@patchdoodle1144]

At the end of the day it’s how women and men are raised. In most African homes, we raise the girls to be women but coddle the boys to be eventually taken care of by women down the road. We can’t blame the men for this, we blame society for normalizing this dependency. If you raise men to look for women down the road whose worth and purpose is defined primarily by household duties, and even paying household bills despite what they’re calling might be in life, then majority of the men will continue this way. If you raise men to understand that women are diverse beings. Some have a calling in life that cannot allow them to only focus on household tasks, some do have a calling to work inside the home, at the end of the day, there is room and choice for all (for example, you can’t be a president or minister as a woman and still be expected to be home by 6pm to make dinner, your schedule, and calling in life just doesn’t allow this) . What I observe in the men is the inability to discern which woman they want. So you end up with ‘hot ice’ say african men who want a woman who can contribute to the home financially, at the same time, be available to run the household at the capacity of someone who doesn’t work outside the home. This is where the clash comes in. In addition to cultural norms which have been widely accepted such as infidelity, sometimes abuse in the home emotional and physical , and emotional neglect etc. but it all boils down to how one is raised! Raise the men better, demand the best, and they will adjust accordingly. Most African women today are simply tired, and are therefore pushing back against these patriarchal norms in different ways, some are choosing to be single, others are choosing to persevere the pain (like the lady in red who shared in another video how she is a single mom as the guy left), others are dating outside the community to find men who understand them better.

[@dorcascherotich7315]

Well elaborated

[@tombimashri8149]

Truth

[@terryray3147]

The worst is wale wa kuuliza uko kwa nyumba?? That's supposed to be a date. Enjoy your champagne sister life is short.

[@muchemikimani5318]

Another lonely box wine woman.

[@rebeccarachel1770]

Amen...life is for the living....no room for such.

[@raisingremarkableteenagers]

😂😂😂

[@Denise-fv3xr]

As a child of a mixed mariage and now a boys mother I truly am convinced that man are emotional wired differntly. They need a different support system and most of them have a different love language. In a realationship communication is everything. And love is about trying to understand and support eachother without losing your authentic self. Understanding that your partner should be your support of you creating your own happiness

[@yemi1able]

Wow! Wow!! Wow!!! What an enlightenment conversation! Relationships, vulnerability, power, hope, strength, compassion, kindness, and love, all these sensitive and very paramount topics were addressed in one show! I want to say a big thank you to everyone on the panel, and a very special thank you to one of the best moderators of all time, Queen Ngugi!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I lovee you sis I’m a Nigerian, and I can still relate 💯 One Africa forever! WAKANDA forever!🥰😀🌸💖

[@itumelengmpeke]

I loved how this debate went from dating preferences between white / black man to the wellbeing of a man in general ❤

[@OpinionatedNomad]

Why?

[@susankiarie7817]

Character is the only thing matters its never bt the white or black men..... Good job Lynn and the team Miss u guys esp mens desk we need more of u

[@wambuidavis83]

Our men don't like to be challenged and confronted.They don't like vocal women,they want women who will say yes to all their ideas.If they find a strong woman they try to bring her down if they are unable they tarnish her and leave her bruised emotionally.

[@muchemikimani5318]

That's not a strong woman. That a combative confused woman who will be alone.

[@wambuidavis83]

@muchemikimani5318 so a man should be left to make all decisions by themselves that concern both parties.A man doesn't need to be challenged is that what you are trying to say? Does a woman need to remain silent and lose her position just because she doesn't need or is allowed to be vocal? Relationship are built by and on communication?

[@muchemikimani5318]

@@wambuidavis83 what does your husband/father think about it?

[@wambuikingatua3820]

Definition of a strong black woman by black society is not what you think, the expect "strength" to withstand pain and suffering. And that is why you are seeing a comment below about "combative" vs "strong". Oh, and you will be threatened with "being alone". This is the reason white men are becoming more attractive, it isn't a skin color issue, it is a socialization issue.

[@wambuikingatua3820]

There is nothing wrong with being alone, it is not a "threat" that women care much for these days. Being "strong" is not about being able to withstand suffering - asking to be valued, and having a voice is not being "combative". I am glad the younger generation, both genders are recognizing there is something amiss and trying to change this for more fulfilling relationships. @@muchemikimani5318

[@cgg6390]

When growing up I watched how my dad treated my mum and how my only brother treated me and my sister's , as a teenager I made up my mind for a white man. Am married to one.

[@cgg6390]

@@BrianBolo I don't blame them, I forgive learn and move on.

[@asteriaheliza1093]

Sorry mammy..hugs

[@jennifermcwhortet7934]

Many African men are not well groomed on how to be husbands. They cheat.b They are controlling. Never ready to transform I suffered in my first marriage till to date I don't trust an African man

[@BrianBolo]

@@cgg6390 that's great and the best way!! That was part of your journey.

[@gailm.4324]

Is the lady in the purple..getting upset that she is not treated right in Kenya..when she is saying the white man is king…

[@jennifermcwhortet7934]

Let's be honest here. Our African brothers have a long way to go when it comes to being the husband, Dad and son God intended them to be. Not all...but most of them still drag what our forefathers did to their spouses. To nurture, behold and cherish the wife... It does not click in most of them. Most white men got on board long time.

[@schadracklinmugabo4240]

Even not all white men are good fathers as you think , am staying with white people but so many children don’t have fathers, even some of my friends 👫 have same problem, so the color doesn’t matter, the inner person is the most important

[@akinyisarah305]

Someone said, they want submissive providers.

[@ellisqueen61]

The day you stays together with those whites that is the moment you will realize not all whites are good

[@narcissisticabuseawareness3607]

@@schadracklinmugabo4240yes we do have many like that but the truth is, white race men still have the best men as fathers and protectors of their families in the world

[@lucywaithira3050]

Am in Kenya but even me that statement 'nipikie kills me i can't... Our men want it easy but I still love them but they can do better ❤

[@blessedmoureen3736]

Black men forever, for me I think we still have black good men the same way not all white are good.

[@nolongeratease7583]

I love black women who are proud to be black. on this panel I have not seen anything that can make me look back.

[@africaine4889]

Exactly! Only black men for me. The fact these women are saying white men treat women better. Yoooh. This is false 100%. These african women with white men love it because they can boss their white men around and they know with a black man they can never do that.

[@AntoinetteMusanabera]

I agree!!!

[@bellaolum9768]

I couldn't agree more ❤

[@Shii2540]

African relationships are mostly based on Tough love.. White relations are based on tenderness Again,its my opinion based on my personal experiences. Also i said most not all, The culture plays an important role true but also the content we are fed with growing up and also what we watch on the media. Love shouldnt be tough… Black or white, Gentleness is it.❤

[@Almira-fs8wo]

And divorce to them is one touch , most of this black women are married by old men who the younger white gaks can’t accept and have divorced a million times

[@florencenyoike7527]

Great conversation. I'm going to pick on one thing that Lydia said, that When you open up to a man, he will never use it against you. I'm afraid I have to disagree it goes both ways, I experienced in my own relationship where my partner then, put me down and totally demoralized me and caused lifetime trauma because I opened up

[@wangarimwangi7395]

Lynn, where has this intern o' yours been coz maaaaan! does he ooze wisdom. More, please, more. And to our co- host, Dear Mr. Eric, welcome, we couldn't be more glad.

[@eric_kiragu]

You can only get who you are, not who you want. Partners can only take on what you believe of yourself. People jump from one relationship to another thinking it will be different, only to encounter the same problems with the new person, just because everyone they meet is a reflection of their own nature. Change yourself, and your relationships will reflect the change.

[@josphinechepchirchir109]

Exactly,set your own stardard fast love that message

[@Sumayya538]

That's deep

[@sherri2843]

@erickiragu, Good point. Best to stay out all relationships until you heal from the former relaationship until you learn to love yourself apropriately. Then proceed to date all races if that's your now your thing.

[@reubenwest5605]

Lynn, you need a part two, there is so much going on we need more of this Sister.

[@Sweetbinabear12]

Great and long overdue conversation. Greatly moderated and on point! I have never dated anyone outside my race but as I grow older I've become more curious since I see more mixed raced couples as a thing. I was always under the impression that they don't like black women because it was not acceptable, in some cultures the parents played a big part and ive only heard, seen the negative side of that…it is good to see mixed couples and ones who have success stories. Not saying I'm headed in that direction. This was long overdue, enlightening and entertaining. ❤❤❤

[@sarerashel2201]

Black man is the best.problem begins when you meet a wrong guy.... Which I find similar to white man.The only prayer is to pray you get the right don't just follow or love them blindly.i believe when everyone is dating there are those red alarm you will notice before settling down with that person.

[@kaliisakaita5831]

All are equally good.Its matter of luck

[@Almira-fs8wo]

In the diaspora most African men prefer to go home and marry and not bring a woman here coz 90% will lead to divorce, the ladies don’t know what freedom of expression is , white women know how to live coz they give a man an opportunity to lead while our ladies think marriage is 50/50 but don’t want to share everything 50/50

[@geraldinfenti5422]

I find a man who brings forth his emotions very attractive. Crying involved or not.

[@bertroost1675]

You are looking for a son-husband, not a real husband.

[@sunshineheaven1802]

I think it is imperative to know who you are and what you need and who can give it to you.

[@jemmimahmulwa2857]

Lynn you are really travelling and exploring the world I love it

[@sleeprelaxation8431]

My Kenyan friend divorced her white man because he expected her to clean every day, cook fresh meals, and take care of the kids, lol; why? Because he was looking for a woman who would fulfil such expectations, and he was told African women are expected to do such things.

[@MelanatedQueen254]

Wow!! So, at the end of the day, it is not a color thing. It boils down to personalities, regardless of color. Afadhali nipike samaki kuliko I go missing halafu nipatikane kwa kichaka nikiwe nimededi. US bado tunatafuta Irene Gakwa... 😭😢

[@chelseasecurityservisesltd4013]

huyu mzungu he got married to get a slave not a wife@@MelanatedQueen254

[@mw6175]

@@MelanatedQueen254 what happened to her?

[@sirnjonjo84]

Well done team LNN! It's great conversation please do part 2, 3&4. Josh please bring the mens desk back soon & let it be done globally.Start with uk first 🙏

[@carolinekyalo2112]

ERIC IS VERY ELOQUENT & WISE I COULD LISTEN TO HIM FOR HOURS. yes I'm shouting 😂

[@beatricemuringi4120]

On the issue of vulnerability: 1. Our culture does not teach both men and women to be vulnerable. So we don't know how to handle it coz we don't know how it looks. 2. Mankind (both genders) need to adapt to society as the needs change from season to season. From century to century. *****From creation, men were given the responsibility to look after and till the land. Aka Provide and protect. This has looked different from century to century even as we evolved and grew smarter. It began with protecting from wild animals and hunting for food. It moved to tilling demarcated land and protecting from the elements of nature. It then moved to protecting sovereignity through war and the women were then introduced to providing. It moved to the market place era where all were required to build financial stability. Now we have move to an age where mental health is key. That is where to protect and provide( listen and allow us to feel). We have fast moved to a digital era where the internet is informing the function of your home. Man protect and provide guidance there now. Si kuleta Lion killing spears to deal with an internet bully. ADAPTATION is the word. Vulnerability is strength. Only a strong man and woman can be vulnerable. The problem is that men are being vulnerable to ALL woman. The same way, women are trying to be submissive to ALL men. FIND YOUR PERSON. Be vulnerable and submit to them, recharge and then go out in the world and fight to win.

[@rosejaypy7846]

Myles munroe stated,'if u can control your desires on money,sex n food,then ur freedom is guranteed'.

[@shiigitonga494]

Lady Lydia I wish our men should also take pride in black women coz I think to some extent they the reason a majority of our ladies are lightening their skin tone coz sadly that's what a majority of our black men prefer

[@WanjiruMuya]

Ebu nipikie phrase and nipee already taking me out🤣you have to set a standard & boundary on how you want to be treated. Don't go there thinking it's an investment utalia😂

[@lorrainemwangi3526]

Why do I feel like we should have this discussion back at home with this kind of a panel, and that I should be a panelist ? Lynn please make this happen

[@wambuikingatua3820]

All the good black men I know, (my late father included) have one thing in common...they love and value their partners. It is very easy for a woman to respect and look up to her husband when she feels loved. How do you show love and value? Being thoughtful, caring not to intentionally hurt your partner. Being cruel and unkind might win you fear from your partner, but it can never win you respect - which is up there in things that men need in a relationship. Love your women, they will be like putty in your hands.

[@kandisphere8828]

Not all my dear. I can mention several who do not value their partners. There is no blanket statement. You are lucky to only know those who value their partners, but it is not every man (even black) that values their partner.

[@LindaMahevo]

Listening to this conversation lots of black men still have a lot to unlearn and learn.

[@Olcool]

It depends. To me there is no need for me a black man to unlearn my African culture and learn Western culture and values. I will only look for an African woman who also values African culture and values.

[@Ytherafreespirit]

It's not a secret that most black men prefer light skin to dark skin. I had given up till I relocated and white men showed interest in droves. Lucky to have found one who adores and treat me with respect. I love him to bits.

[@stevenwilliams3015]

That's totally incorrect. This are the lies the colonizers passes to you guys

[@godnestgodest6265]

What kind of a useless SLAVE mindatlty is that??

[@sherri2843]

@theramwangil, sadly IALL races most men seem to prefer the lighter women in their said race.

[@prezzologisticmouldings7323]

I love black men ❤, congratulations lynn

[@kandisphere8828]

I did not know that Erick of Maridady Motors could moderate and participate like this; I just thought that he is just about business. He is brilliant and articulates his points well. No wonder he has built a very profitable business. All of you did so well in this discussion!! I loved it.

[@waihiga124]

Eric, in my books, you are the real deal!!! You are a man who is secure in your raw masculinity yet sensitive enough to want to create a solid family for yourself, your spouse, and your children. Joshua has a great mentor in you. Men must remain as masculine as the situation demands and women must remain as feminine as the situation allows because God wired men to be masculine and women to be feminine for a reason. The complementarity of the masculine and feminine nature is what is best for the human race because that is how the author of Humanity designed it from the word go. What is really at stake with blurred lines and roles is the future of humanity - with maladjusted future generations caught up in the confusion of grey areas, identity crises, and a lot more mental health challenges.

[@marthakiiru8016]

Lovee kwangu ni love....black white whoever...bora love,,respect,,understanding naa mtu anipee peace.....awe mwanake awe mwanaume love for me love

[@remmylove8004]

For me, 2 indicators that a man loves me are PEACE AND PROTECTION. Is he your light or darkness? Does he cover you or abandon you? Those 2 things are unmistakable and speak volumes. NOT SKIN COLOURS!

[@wellingtonmabele9930]

Eric Mwangi, We are looking forward to hearing from you again. It was fantastic.

[@WammyOnDe]

This is disgusting. Look for a good man not color. Women who have never lived abroad are the ones that talk about dating white men. Those of us that live abroad would never utter such words because it's so shady and ridiculous. When you live abroad you no longer view them as white but just regular men because your expectations about their color, their financial status and their behavior is lowered to the ground. You will probably be doing better financially than most of the ones you meet. We prefer our fellow black men. These women think when they marry white men their financial problems are over....shock on you. I

[@winniewanjiku3033]

They all live in UK apart from Lynn.

[@gracemakumih2347]

The co-host is very sober in his submissions. Such a great conversation.

[@lucynganga1840]

The best debate ever,I learnt alot, Lynn we need more of this

[@nicolemanyeki8403]

🎉am loving this back to back episodes keep doing the good.job Lynn ❤❤❤❤❤

[@LynnNgugi]

🙏🙏

[@chileshemulenga5462]

My take is not based on black or white but how well you align with your beliefs, values etc. only when you know where you stand will you find the right person.

[@judithokari8356]

Love should be love irregardless of the colour or race.

[@eunicenzuki9219]

Love every bit of this convos.. the fact that we are listening to both sides of preference makes it even more* fair!! ❤

[@jadapi100]

I have enjoyed every bit of this debate.Thanks Lyn for this eye opener discussions. I have learned a lot

[@carolinesanau3928]

This maridady gentleman has a lot of wisdom. God bless

[@muchemikimani5318]

Sadly he couldn't get one sentence in sideways before he was interrupted by the "strong" women. Very uncouth.

[@ireno.7286]

A very good conversation. I've enjoyed it, ❤ my only issue is that they're at times not letting each other to finish the conversing to the end, like the balcony part that Eric wanted to finish talking about. Hey Lynn 😊

[@TalithaCumi1]

This is awesome ❤. I wish all the women could assemble here and learn more about relationship preference and taste..Growing up we were never taught that women have a right to choose that is why some of us are forced to stay in toxic relationships/marriages. To my fellow sisters, dont be afraid to keep your standards so high, no matter how high they are, there is someone somewhere who qualifies..Dont lower your standards and dont compromise your values because whoever you love and be with affects all aspects of your life. Keep working on your inner self, keep on improving in all areas of your life..Your soulmate will find you where you are at 🥰.

[@sarah_nya]

Very powerful conversation. Lynn hiyo outfit imeweza kabisa😍

[@DD0504]

A very meaningful conversation! Thank you guys. Submission comes naturally when a man plays his part and love his woman right. Aki i have hollered throughout.....ati Joshua yake ni magoti, he got uncomfortable with the back of the bottom 😅

[@Comfortirene3052]

Priest of the family,to lead me, look up to him, protect his wife and a pieceful man.I love this guys perspective .

[@WanjiruMuya]

Who's happy to see J. K❤?

[@LynnNgugi]

😂😂we truly are!

[@ruthsilla7383]

Angela you said it 👌👌 it's about being human, black or white 🙏🏾🙏🏾💖💖

[@degrahomambia1599]

True Love doesn't matter either white men or black what matters is being happy and lovely.

[@bettynjoki-kk9sm]

I agree with you lady mzungu ana upendo wa kweli

[@ngulubeprincess5009]

This is a whiteness issue. An effect from racism where as blacks we believe anything white is better. It comes in many forms. Some believe speaking better English is a better outcome in life, even better than speaking one's language. We laugh when an African person speaks broken English. That's whiteness. Speaking correct English is a measure of success and going up the ladder. In some cases, it comes across as us black women wanting to lighten our skin because we think the lighter. the more beautiful. The hair too. Other forms also include loose comms amongst our communities. In Zimbabwe we call our bosses or people who finance our needs as "murungu wangu" meaning "my white person" because anyone in a higher position or who finances you is more or less a white man. And now coming to finding love, some went to diaspora with a dream to find a white lover. Nothing wrong with that as long as the mission is to find love and not "a race of men" God help us

[@chrissiekalendo]

Well spoken

[@dianbrown2855]

Great episode as usual. I'm with the 2 ladies at the ends. I'm now dating white because I personally feel that they care way more. Tenderness at my age😂

[@simplymum9860]

Mimi ile character development nilichapwa na my brothers, he he he! I have crossed the borders literally 😂😂😂😂

[@damariszuckschwert9489]

😂😂😂😂wacha tu.

[@muchemikimani5318]

What had your father taught you? Had he vetted your spouse? Were you married? To be taught by the streets means you missed some home lessons.

[@e24news_KE]

The guy from Maridady motors is perfect and very logical makes a lot of sense ,

[@Cynthiaakinyi5950]

We need more of such discussions ❤

[@isaacgitau5631]

Lynn thanks for the show,,,,I desire more shows on building men

[@jackiejdub]

The argument that black culture doesnt have 'romance' is quite redundant. Our culture is rooted heavily in patriachy and this was the same as the white culture. Western culture has evolved. In the UK women couldn't open a bank account or own property until the 70s so they did have the same culture that our men strongly hold on to. In western culture women are as important as men and , a woman's needs and wants are as important as a man's. Now in Kenyan/african culture there are still huge remnants of patriachy where men think they know what's 'best' for women. The response to a woman expressing her preferences for being treated well and desiring happiness and that the only relationship that has met her needs is with a white man, is that the she has 'betrayed' her ppl. Why isn't the african woman allowed to be happy? I observe that african men find huge satisfaction with a struggling african woman - she must suffer and keep things together for her ppl and if she's free and happy then she's betraying her people or labelled something very negative. This is actually really crazy. African men pls ask yourselves why you want to see african women struggling - it is not right. Let's normalise that she has every right to be free, happy and have her needs met just like women of any other race. Just because you grew up watching your mothers mistreated door mats with zero boundaries and her needs unmet because a man decided what was best for her doesn't mean that it is 'african' culture, it is patriachy.

[@happygolucky4635]

You know for me. I don't care who loves who. It's your life. But thanks online, dating anyone can have anyone today. I can now. But Good luck to you all. At 20 I married black african man I will never find and even in another life will choose him. I am 51 and and we inlove than ever. There are so many factors that play. Stay bless from Namibia

[@mdengentongaxhamini]

You're from a Southern African so of course you would say this.

[@owenkariuki4438]

Love knows no bounds.

[@BrianBolo]

True

[@Stephen-l7q]

One thing i noted in Kenya we currently have a gender war and its a full blown out war, I am talking love casualties, dead hearts. Some women claim to love white men but they are saying so because they are in still in pain and just want black men to feel bad "skia ivyo" and us men we get angry watching this tunasema "si mwende muolewe uko basi" so the women can feel bad. People are hurting and the war keeps getting worse.

[@bellaolum9768]

I agree

[@Stephen-l7q]

@@bellaolum9768 naona so many commenting how they are married to white men, but am sure majority are saying that just to make black men feel bad.

[@bludbought]

Men have to organize themselves and choose to value community and humble themselves enough to ask questions and learn from each other. It is not a woman's job to organize men. They should take initiative. If they do not, that's on them.

[@winniewera2510]

As a 100% woman biologically and with a great career etc.. I don’t like when some women say! “ I don’t need a man “ No nope not true, some things only a man can offer . So yes I need a man !……

[@RuthNaya-qh2dv]

I like my coffee black. Sudanese black. I don't even find light skin African men attractive can't imagine a white man😅. I also understand there are men who don't me (an light skin,plus size African woman) attractive.

[@bellaolum9768]

😅😅😅

[@proudmganda1159]

This is one of the most beautiful LN TOPIC ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂fish then what?

[@martharinebiseko1457]

I hv enjoyed this conversation....hv watched it in so many phases coz I did not want to miss a single word

[@jackiebuckley8197]

I hear lots of excuses for the boy child. We (male/female) both have to adapt to communities. I think adaptability, kindness, and willingness to invest in your partner, aka family. ......I love that we are having the conversation through!

[@bludbought]

Find a man that meets your expectations. White, black, brown, it doesn't.

[@janetopee1423]

Times are changing, and we must change with it. Women used to be home makers, and it was okay. Nowadays, women can not stay at home to take care of the home and children anymore.

[@hellfrennyanchoka9424]

Thank you all bc you've talked alot of sense! Black men's huge problem is EGOISM. They have carried it even to the foreign countries....please men,,,DO TRANSITION OF MIND SET!

[@theezenriarinze9203]

And white men don't lmao

[@vanillamint7854]

on linguistics: Kiswahili spoken as it should be is an extremely romantic language... 🌅

[@GULFGISTyvonne]

Hey team LNN watching from cairo with my Kenyan friends and here most Kenyans/African ladies are dating /marrying black men and they all agree with Lydia that white men here in Cairo are not a preference to them despite everyone else having the thought that the white men here are( rich and romantic) which most ladies look for in a man the ladies just choose their own black men The show was interesting we love LNN

[@ictwestern]

Are men from Cairo white? Aren't they Arabs😮😮

[@bellaolum9768]

Maybe she is referring to the expatriate community@@ictwestern

[@roselinendegwa1039]

Thanks Lydia otet i support you 💯 Blackman forever 💕

[@ruthmattila2065]

Lynn my take is if we can stop looking at the skin colour and see people as human beings, whether white or black people make choices according to their wishes and preferences. We are all humans despite our many differences. Married to a white and I don't even remember he is white until someone mentions it. Love is love ❤

[@carettamyers13]

Awesome discussion! While you are Africa-oriented in your videos, wish you had included a panelist with Afro Caribbean origin particularly a Jamaican. The African roots are strong in relation to their expectations of a woman and what they (the males) bring to the table.🙂Food for thought a future video perhaps?

[@wendyalbright1846]

This topic got me thinking about another discussion we had. @Lynn next time can discuss colorism. Our men's preference for lightskin women over dark skin. The notion that lightskin women are not home keepers unlike the dark skin ones.

[@godnestgodest6265]

How can you change a slave mind?

[@AwendiBright]

@@godnestgodest6265 can we stop blaming slavery/colonialism on our own doings. When were we last colonized??

[@theezenriarinze9203]

Why would that matter when y'all prefer white men anyway???😂

[@AwendiBright]

​@@theezenriarinze9203Not really? Turns out the white man loves the darker skins more and people are going where they feel appreciated. Nevertheless, I'm team black men anyday, anytime. 😊

[@theezenriarinze9203]

@@AwendiBright Oh really so explain why and how white men created colorism in the 1st place? They love darker skin but created a system that puts darker skin at the bottom? Please stop being team blk men, the white men need you .

[@angelinaomare3055]

Some of we Women…we hv gone through alot actually the FACT is we Ended up to promise ourselves “NO MESS ANYMORE and to achieve that I speak from the bottom of my heart I don’t need neither want a man in my Life….

[@marywangari2124]

Great people and different experiences makes a great conversation. I have learned 1 and 2.

[@julietkutegeka1513]

This thing of marriage is all about teamwork. You have got to work with your partner in everything instead of competing with them. Reach agreement on issues and if you agree to disagree on some of the issues ts okay as long as you achieve your core objectives as a family. Accept each other regardless and keep learning from each other, for some things it's just a matter of time

[@HimaNapp]

Very interesting debate ,thank you Lynn and the Participants on their views . May I comment from the biological perspective . Women as myself 48 upwards , is easily able to say I CAN LIVE WITHOUT A MAN . Of course , at that stage , our need to be intimate significally draws backwards and we can do without frequent intimacy . A 25 year old young Lady , would never ever utter such / They are at the peak of their being and they have the procreating thrive on. Kwa hifo , Sisi kina Mama , tunaweza kuishi bila tukishafika Miaka Kadhaa. Of course , we will live with our opposite gender , be it be black or white .