A Flashback Is Not Something You Remember

[@newchannel30]

I'm working through your amazing book "The memoir Engineering system" (I haven't been able to put it down and I have made so much progress in my writing) and I wonder whether to treat flashbacks as additional scenes? Thank you for your wonderful content 🙏

[@MaliaDurbano]

Wendy, Love how concise your videos are. The examples also really help to understand the concepts. Thank you so much.

[@Savayla100]

Thanks Wendy, have been battling this all week and this video has been an incredible help. As usual.

[@memoirwritingforgeniuses]

Thanks, Tanya. I knew I needed to do a video on flashbacks!! Glad it's helpful.

[@bonniezieman3424]

Can we anticipate a series like this for novel writers? I’ve already used many of your tips to better structure my novel and would so appreciate more. Thank you for your work. Best teaching about writing that I’ve found online!

[@memoirwritingforgeniuses]

Thank you so much, Bonnie! All of the prose videos definitely apply to novels as well as memoirs. As for structure, I do feel like an expert when it comes to memoirs but don't have the same level of expertise for novels. I'm so grateful for your kind comment though.

[@mjw2013xx]

By far the best guide to flashbacks that I've ever heard! Thank you so much!

[@memoirwritingforgeniuses]

Thanks, Marianne!

[@ASLarson]

You did it again! Great tips and actionable insights! Thanks!

[@memoirwritingforgeniuses]

Thanks, Andrew! 😁

[@alexandrasiy]

Great video, Wendy! Very helpful and explained perfectly!

[@memoirwritingforgeniuses]

Thanks, Alex! You wrote to ask me about flashbacks so I actually had you in mind when I made this video.

[@alexandrasiy]

Thank you! I was working on a flashback today, so it was perfect timing.

[@carriekelly3065]

Great advice.

[@petermarkesteyn]

Well done.

[@memoirwritingforgeniuses]

Thanks, Peter!

[@memoirwritingforgeniuses]

For a free, 7-part class on structuring your memoir: www.geniusmemoirwriting.com/free-class.html

[@catwoman-me-n-ow8655]

Hi Wendy! I love your videos because you think outside the box. However, this video left me a bit confused. In each of the examples you gave us regarding flashbacks, I didn't see them as 'flashbacks'. I truly viewed them as simply memories that were prompted by a present event. Maybe the fact that I came from a terribly abusive environment, any flashbacks I ever had were extremely intrusive and assaulting. The examples of flashbacks that you presented were mediocre, not traumatizing. As I got older I couldn’t help but wonder what other depravities my family had committed against me. I got my answer. Fast forward to my late twenties. I may have been resting on the bed while listening to the radio, when suddenly my mind was invaded by an explosion of blinding, white light that seemed to fill every crevice, as in those days when photography was new, and that strong flash of light hit you in the face as the photo was being taken. That’s exactly what it was like. A shock of light exploding in my brain. After the sudden flash of searing white light had flooded my brain, came the memory itself, like a horror movie playing out in my head. I was seven or eight, outside leaning against the house in the front yard. My dad and siblings were standing in a small circle, tossing a ball back and forth to one another. My mom stood on the porch watching them play. I didn’t join in because when you’re not made to feel you’re part of the family, you just sit on the sidelines and watch, as the outsider you are. Suddenly, without warning, a German Shepherd ran into the yard and slammed straight into me, knocking me over. Because it happened so fast, I could only guess it was something large and hairy. The next thing I felt were his large, sharp teeth jabbing into me, along with his wet tongue, as if he were tasting me before he made the kill. When he began whining and snarling, that’s when I knew I was going to die. I was frozen with terror. I was a captive audience while I watched helplessly as this horrific scene unfolded before my mind’s eye. Wouldn’t you know it. The one time I didn’t have any popcorn. Please don’t hurt me! Please don’t kill me! I love you! I love animals! Why don’t you love me? Am I really such a bad person, that my own family won’t stop playing to tear this dog off me? For me, the answer was yes. Why else would nobody want to help me? This only ingrained in me that I deserved everything bad in life. Finally, my dad yelled out, “Roll yourself into a ball and keep rolling around!” He didn’t even turn completely around to tell me this. He only turned his head half-way in my direction, as if I were an afterthought and didn’t require his full and urgent attention. All the while, continuing to toss the ball back and forth to my siblings. How could I possibly defend myself against something I can’t see? I was in such a state of shock I found it hard to even follow his directions. At one point, when the dog had shoved me onto my back, I remember looking at my mom. She just stood there with her eyes empty and dispassionate, watching the dog forcefully push against my body while pulling on my clothing with his teeth. I felt like a ragdoll. At the same time, while she watched me with a look of complete disinterest, there was also a look of expectation in her eyes, as if she were hoping the dog would make an end of me. This meant she wouldn’t have to bother with me anymore. It was vitally important that I keep everything inside and not let my family - the enemy - know what I was thinking or feeling. Here I was in my late twenties, bombarded, no - assaulted - by this extremely unnerving memory. When the horror had finished playing out, I was paralyzed with shock. For the longest time I just laid there, my mind completely numb, not being able to make any sense of what I had just witnessed. What other depravities did they commit against me that I don’t remember? I didn’t want to know. Now I finally understood how truly evil they were, and how much they hated me. It gave me a new and deeper insight into their depraved psyche. Flashbacks come from repressed memories that are too traumatic for the person's mind to handle. It’s the mind's way of surviving. In my case, I was too young to process this information, so my subconscious hid it from me until I was old enough to deal with it. This is similar to a POW who's been in an abusive, hostage situation for at least 2 decades. This is exactly what my childhood was like. The very nature of flashbacks are traumatic, not unpleasant, mediocre or bland. The flashbacks you gave as examples made me wish that my flashbacks were so pleasant. I can only assume these flashbacks were not unpleasant for the authors, because there was no mention of feelings of devastation and shock from the ones who wrote them. What is your take on this as compared to the flashback that I had experienced? Thanks, Wendy!

[@memoirwritingforgeniuses]

Flashbacks are very rarely memories. They are stories from your past that have some relevance to what is going on in the present-day story. The examples I gave are not memories. Also, a flashback definitely does not have to be traumatic.

[@catwoman-me-n-ow8655]

@@memoirwritingforgeniuses Thanks for your response. I probably misspoke. I guess I've been so indoctrinated in the traumatic type of flashbacks, and when I think of that word, that's the first thing that comes to mind. I do realize there are other types of flashbacks. Thanks.

[@carriekelly3065]

I'm shocked and sad that you experienced such rejection from your family. I found what u wrote really interesting. If this is ever published I'd really like to read it.

[@catwoman-me-n-ow8655]

@@carriekelly3065 Thank you. I hope I don't die before I'm able to get it published.