A HFY Story : Subjugating Humans... Not this Discussion Again... | 2113 ~Deathworld, War, Terran

[@blehbleh8552]

Humans to invading aliens: We've tried to subjugate ourselves and have always failed, what makes you think you'll do any better?

[@leejennings6718]

Lol

[@cybersaint9710]

😂😂😂

[@rianmacdonald9454]

Simple because you won't wipe the entire human species out, WE WILL.

[@gototheend1139]

​@@rianmacdonald9454human ill kill you Not if I kill myself first You can't possibly defea... did... did I win

[@kairu_aname]

​​@@rianmacdonald9454 The question was for subjugation, not extermination. Edit; unless that was coming *from* a human. Then? damn right

[@TheAKgunner]

Humans are such a pain in the ass, that a galaxy spanning alliance has put us in the “Don’t poke the bear if you like breathing” category?!

[@NeSeeger]

Sounds about right

[@ironwolfF1]

Either that or, 'kick the dragon and find out what happens next' category.😄

[@AlexSDU]

@@ironwolfF1 Alien: "What's a _dragon?"_

[@ciberzombiegaming8207]

@@AlexSDU answer : you know those races (names 3 races)? no? they tried that, and that's why they are not around anymore

[@asdasd-ty9se]

I see the that the Europeans finials figured out a sensible foreign policy in this scifantasy future

[@Maddog3060]

"Every time we fight them, they get stronger." This line should give nightmares to those Council memebers.

[@SubZole]

Improvise, adapt, overcome.

[@badbloodkiller3471]

One alien member saying, "Absolute mad lad." That one has a close bond with humans and knows what they're like, I see.

[@erushi5503]

Definitely the closest to humans compared to everyone else ahahaha Probably close friends even

[@widdershins5383]

Probably galactic neighbors and just watch us like Canada watches america lol

[@VulpisFoxfire]

@@erushi5503 Ah, the Centauri... :-)

[@AlexSDU]

Truly a cultured alien.

[@SergeyWaytov]

Really interesting detail indeed

[@CaptainShield]

Aliens: We intend to subjugate the humans! Humans: *sigh* Hold my beer.

[@vanevanhaagen4011]

wanna go with Bunkers and heavy Artillery, or Blitzkrieg this time?

[@NeSeeger]

Let's mix it up and start with the bunkers and arty then go full blitz

[@spaceengineeringempire4086]

Get the Star cannon. This time they will leave us alone.

[@rosebloodwater13]

​@@spaceengineeringempire4086 Get the Star Cannon. Humans love cannons. 😂

[@AlexSDU]

*pump space shotgun GIT OFF MAH GALACTIC LAWN!!!

[@lazerwolf952]

There is always someone who wants to antagonize the homicidal space monkies...

[@TheLastGarou]

"Ook. Ook. Fragger."😈

[@arthurchadwell9267]

Homicidal hairless space monkeys! ⚔️🦍

[@yomogami4561]

lol the humans should be named the homicidal space monkies in the offical confederation language. humans would love it

[@ScornedOne1080]

Some sayings the Aliens need to learn: 1) "There's always a bigger fish." 2) "Don't waken the sleeping giant." 3) "This is a bad idea in the long sad history of bad ideas, and we'll be there when you learn that" 4) "Invade at your own risk . . . " 5) "We call our world 'The Raging Planet' for a reason." 6) "A predator does evolution a favor . . . humans can, and do, hunt predators."

[@Iluvantir]

"Welcome to Earth. Don't litter, say 'please' and 'thank you', and don't overstay your welcome. I hope you have a pleasant holiday."

[@collinfulling3223]

“Fuck around and find out.”

[@mugenokami2201]

Don’t touch my fucking boats -America

[@ShawndaPrawn]

Imperium of Man: (launches the Great Crusade) Galactic Council Chairman: alright, who did it? Who pissed off the Humans?!

[@Darqshadow]

It's that or endless screaming ahen they realize it's RELIGION that brought humanity into a war footing

[@bartofii]

An unofficial saying we have when someone suggests attacking the awkward space orcs... DON'T

[@williamturner6192]

Heh

[@jacknedry3925]

This is a "How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man?!?!?!?!??" moment.

[@jukkiivi4282]

Trying to subjugate humanity is like kicking a nest? Humans are Space Hornets! Thanks for finding and narrating this delightful story! For the Algorithm! For the Narrator! For the Beard!

[@beingsneaky]

Giant killer Hornets?? Lol

[@jukkiivi4282]

@@beingsneaky Definately Killer Hornets

[@larrylambert1220]

I thought humans were space orcs?

[@mychaeldark1007]

@@larrylambert1220 Giant Killer Spcae Orc Hornets?

[@GenJeFT]

Hell, we cant even subjugate ourselves.

[@Blutwind]

Meanwhile in human space some weapon developer:" god i hope those Aliens come around again soon, our Killbot swarm is getting frustrated by getting beat in all those CoD 9001 matches... and i realy want to live test this Black hole cluster weapon"

[@jaimeosbourn3616]

Don't forget the positronic incoherer.

[@imjang2430]

Shit my life... How many generations of toxic kids did we have for so many sequels of fkn CoD to be at 9001 AND annoy the shit out of AI???

[@internetzenmaster8952]

@@imjang2430 God, I can only imagine how toxic/vitriolic the 13-year-olds in the CoD 9001 lobbies are...

[@UsernotFound2018]

Humanity: Alright, prepare the marines and the artillary Alien:No no no... this time is peace🙌 Edi: A hundret likes, thank's😋

[@taitano12]

Humanity: (Disappointed sighs) ... Fine. 🥺 What do you want?

[@maurizioginanneschi9402]

Humanity: Peace is what remains after the marines ended their tasks...

[@ShawndaPrawn]

Oh, you come in peace? Fine, but we're keeping an eye on you.

[@ryanlaurie8733]

Humans: *minding their own business.* Alien: they must learn out peaceful ways... By force!

[@arthurchadwell9267]

Humans: begin playing Sabaton...

[@Sarindanvelor]

humans: cowabunga it is

[@imjang2430]

Well to be fair, people in history DID bring peace by force.

[@kevincaruthers5412]

@@imjang2430 Nothing is more peaceful than a graveyard.

[@Atma_Weapon]

damn. we beat another alien race so bad that a bigger alien alliance didnt want to tangle.

[@yomogami4561]

and that alien race was fighting the alliance at the same time

[@TranslucentHistory]

When...when did this absolutely fantastic man start to do this with a real face attached to it? My god is that really you Argo? It is an honor to put a face to the voice. Thank you so much.

[@smaragdwolf1]

not long ago. After his medical treatment.

[@Egeslean]

@@smaragdwolf1 What treatment?

[@anotherdadjoke]

​@@Egeslean his cranoplasty. Now, he looks human, instead of a agro squirrel

[@alexkeiper6595]

Well played

[@robertalexander5892]

In the Council's official database on the various species in the galaxy, the entry on Humans simply reads: FAFO.

[@arthurchadwell9267]

😂 👍

[@chronred8190]

what does FAFO mean?

[@samuelwrynnbrawner.1210]

Fuck Around Find Out

[@tmac2744]

@@chronred8190 it stands for: "F@ck Around and Find Out!"

[@koopaking6148]

The fact that that this implies we have been in a cold war with aliens so long that we almost literally forgot that they in reality exist is mildly frightening...

[@imjang2430]

I don't think we would've forgotten them. It is far more plausible that we have a love-hate relationship. Like we joke about the world wars we'd do the same thing with that. A lot of other things too, but that is irrelevent

[@davidrutherford6311]

I think that is just about the first story were aliens have conquered Earth and still been alive at the end of the story. Humans are not usually that forgiving.

[@ethanrock8122]

Maybe there were no atrocities committed so there was no need to seek additional revenge

[@hawkticus_history_corner]

It does seem that way. But, to be fair, we didn't even have FTL at the time and then another war happened. Add in how long it's been and clearly we chose the "keep a hand on the gun" approach

[@angelrivera2339]

these aliens strike me as overzealous elder races than one that wants to "enlighten" younger races. Most of the races that end up destroyed in these stories are races that start an atrocity competition with humans.

[@keithmays8076]

War crime sticks didn't have the range back then.

[@queenbee8045]

The check list was not invoked by either party and we gave them a Trophy for being the first ones to spend a night on earth. After all we had worked with them for years so no reason to hunt them down… yet

[@ravenouself4181]

Oh? these Xenos learned something! Too bad, Humanity is likely all geared-up and preparing an invasion of it's own.

[@Jarrickd]

It's more likely the humans are busy fighting among themselves and too busy to bother with the xenos. But if the xenos attack, they will easily put aside their differences to remove the interference from their affairs.

[@YDV669]

Yeah, but probably of some human-held world. We prefer fighting each other. Still, though, it's a bad idea to give us a common target.

[@arthurchadwell9267]

Space Force gearing up:"Time to kick some Klingon ass!"

[@Iluvantir]

"Humans get irritated when we, the Species of the Confederation, try to bring them into the fold. They just want to be left alone in peace so they can eviscerate each other to their heart's content. If you get in the way of that, their favourite pass-time, they close ranks and rip your arms off, club you into unconsciousness with the soggy end, neuter you as you're out for the count... then they get unpleasant about things. "It's best to just leave them to it. Alone. Far far away from the rest of us."

[@ravenouself4181]

@@Jarrickd bold of you to assume we can't do both at the same time :D

[@Synthmilk]

"I have a proposal regarding the Humans..." "Don't." "Those HUMANS...!" "Don't." "We wish to prove ourselves by...." "Don't" "Has the council considered....?" "Don't" "Humanity..." "Don't"

[@lenartzsolt1177]

Best way to do it😂

[@noneofyourbuisness1679]

Why can I see a spray bottle being involved in this?😂

[@leechowning8728]

@@noneofyourbuisness1679 Yes, that very much is the feeling here. No. Bad. Get down.

[@orangegalen]

Loved it! Thanks for reading my story, I’ll be getting more out at some point!

[@neuralmute]

Great story! Thanks for the fun brain candy!

[@markuhler2664]

Looking forward to listening to them.

[@robertalexander5892]

Thanks for the story, I really enjoyed it.

[@dallassukerkin6878]

Good tale indeed :) Thanks to Agro Squirrel I have come across this glorious cache of sci-fi stories that take me back to the Golden Age when we used to have magazine of short stories each month :)

[@monakh_jcf2312]

I like that the council have collective groans and sighs of exasperation when an uppity species tried to flex on humans

[@SockieTheSockPuppet]

I like especially that despite all the self-inflating rhetoric meant to tug on the egos and/or patriotism of the Confederation, the other members are just not having it, because of Humans being the line into the realm of absurdity.

[@santiagoperez3024]

So basically, “God save you, for no one else will?” (Yes, that’s a TNO quote)

[@arthurchadwell9267]

"God have mercy on you, for we shall have none!"

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

There was a story that starts with an AI sending aliens a message that starts with Humans are not gods. Describes humans warfare for a bit, the fact that the AI is a galaxy killer weapon. Ends with Humans are not gods. God's forgive.

[@imjang2430]

​@@julesmasseffectmusicsounds like a killer story

[@Zael_Moonblade]

😂 That confused look on Agro's face during the fadeout!

[@Falcon532.]

Good evening Professor Squirrel, we welcome the addition to the library's archives, your work is most appreciated

[@gergelymolnar2471]

Aliens: Subjugate the humans! Humans: Prepare the flamer...the HAEVY FLAMER!!!!

[@ShadowknightEX]

Which pattern? Prometheus? Fafnir?….Natas?

[@TheAKgunner]

@@ShadowknightEXYes.

[@jstone4351]

I recently found your site and it's quickly becoming one of my favorites. Great job, keep the stories coming.

[@AgroSquerril]

Thank you for the dono , it is very much appreciated. Glad you are enjoying the content :)

[@Cavscout5096]

Humans... We are a fucked up lot... Makes me wonder, will we be the same way in reality as well?

[@rancidpitts8243]

Since before Homo sapiens we have been cruel to the others, who ever they are, when needed. It is in us, and it will die with the last Human.

[@hohenzollern6025]

The very first world the humans conquered, they did it with pointy sticks. Not being satisfied with subjugating everything on that planet at a peer level, they scaled down, and waged war on all microscopic life as well using chemical warfare: Medicine. I pity any alien species that stumbles upon us, we would colonize them so hard, and they'll probably taste good too.

[@carlfranz6805]

Where the hell do you think Marines come from?

[@AKUJIVALDO]

​@@carlfranz6805 from Crayon packs, obviously...

[@queenbee8045]

Gov had a hearing whistle blowers said aliens are real we have their tech we have them. Humans at large we dgaf either put up or shut up. All of humanity at this point in history is itching for a war an alien are a perfect target. Most of us don’t want to be here anymore. One thing the war in the sand box taught me is nothing more dangerous then someone with a death wish to fulfil their goal… humanity just has the death wish right now goals be damned. Heaven have mercy on us all.

[@totallynotalpharius2283]

Alien: let’s invade earth! Humans : bring out the Geneva Suggestions

[@melkiorwiseman5234]

Geneva Checklist.

[@JRMshadow260a]

HAHAHA... I wish that we were able to be that strong and at the same time altruistic.. My biggest problem is I'm Former Navy and really do just love the booms... hehehe

[@ravenouself4181]

I am a Balkaner, I was born addicted on the Booms. I need dem warcrimes.

[@korinogaro]

Well you can always launch booms at Washington and not some 3rd world country with no capability to answer.

[@jonf2009]

@@korinogaro .......... But Washington is a 3rd world country with no ability to answer.........

[@mychaeldark1007]

@@jonf2009 As an American I can't stop laughing at how true this is.

[@arthurchadwell9267]

In space, no one can hear you boom. 😊

[@isaackellogg3493]

Civilizing the natives in a British accent hits just a little bit harder.

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

Sounds about right to this Australian born Indian descendants of blackbirds sugar cane cutters and convicts with indeigenoius family.

[@ArchonSG1]

Never give humies a reason to WAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!

[@arthurchadwell9267]

Reminds me of a meme I saw-- top panel has Picard lecturing Ryker on respecting other cultures religious beliefs. Panel two has Stargate SG1 coming through the gateway "I'm here to KILL your God!"

[@melkiorwiseman5234]

It seems to me that all that meme needs is an intermediate panel from B5 with Sheridan ordering the space station's doctor not to operate on an alien child since doing so would violate their people's religious beliefs (and the parents are against it for that reason) and since they have no ambassador on the station to speak for them, Sheridan believed that he had to take on that role. (Spoiler follows): The doctor believed that it would be unethical of him not to perform the simple operation so he did it anyway. The parents later ritually killed their own child due to their religious belief that the soul was tied to the skin and that deliberately cutting the skin would allow a demon to inhabit the person's body and impersonate the person. Moral ambiguity was the keynote of that episode.

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

He doesn't know that humanity is the shadow government of the coalition lmfao

[@wolfblaide]

I love it when these stories leave me laughing. :)

[@drmachinewerke1]

One of you writers need to do a sequel to All The Way Back.

[@dmaxcustom]

"No. We dont bother the hoomans! They are assholes!!! They needed astounding amounts of gold and silver so they found nothing better than to force 2 massive stars to go supernova and then collided the neutron stars!! And all that just to built a planet size computer to simulate a new universe to play video games... what was it called? Call of Duty Universal Warfare 2!" "Oh... ok, nevermind."

[@guardsmen666]

Sooooo the council is basically space Rome and humans are the Celts? Cool

[@arthurchadwell9267]

I have long wanted to write a sci-fi novel with the following scene: Alien commisar: "We are vastly more powerful than you, human. You must submit!" Human commander: "Over 2000 years ago, our God sent his only begotten son to teach us peace and brotherhood. We nailed him to a tree! DO NOT FUCK WITH US!!" Makes "This is Sparta" sound right weak, doesn't it?

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

there is a similar line in a hfy story in regards to jesus in that kind of idea

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

Dear aliens, 1.major human regilion is based on the creator of the universe taking human form only to be nailed to a tree to die of aphixation, by an army occupying his chosen people's land at the request of the leaders of his chosen people.

[@dallassukerkin6878]

That is such an impactful thing to consider, aye! :chuckles:

[@johnchestnut5340]

It gets worse. He comes back to life after 3 days in hell. And he's coming back for revenge and conquest!

[@DragonsR4Ever2]

I've watched a bunch of these but I thought the voice acting in this one was particularly good

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!

[@lumberluc]

"Do you really want to F*ck around and find out?" Every determined human's mindset

[@silverbird425]

Now they know why they were last on the agenda...

[@allteair3391]

Love your readings.

[@taitano12]

Oh, come on, Council. We'd LOVE for them to come and... PLAY. 😈

[@JoaoSoares-rs6ec]

Get that guy a book on human history, the battles and wars the numerous times a small force destroyed a bigger one, he would be so scared he would not even want the word human mentioned out of pure terror

[@jaimeosbourn3616]

Sounds like something from "Pandora's Planet" by Christopher Anvil.

[@YDV669]

Finally. FINALLY! Finally, someone else mentions "Pandora's Planet". I was beginning to think I was the only edumacated one here.

[@cysulzer3703]

Excellent book

[@johncochran8497]

Loved Pandora's Planet. Now to see what the humans do with the problem passed to them by the prior leadership.

[@EeBee51]

That was one of the first SF stories I ever read... Funnily enough, the part that sticks most in my mind is the bit is where the human engineers are explaining to the aliens that, "You need a transition curve first and then the radius of a circle," when putting a bend in a road or railway line....😄😄😁 Not sure why that stuck. It was probably because I was right into model trains at the time and had done a lot of reading on track design.....

[@yomogami4561]

lawl i love this story. thanks for the narration also the council needs better briefing for new races/council members

[@dantreadwell7421]

There is absolutely NOTHING that gives you the duty to try and force ANYONE TO DO ANYTHING. The moment you think you have a duty or imperative to forcibly bring a group into yours when they have explicitly made clear their wish to remain separate is the moment you lost any moral high ground at all.

[@ryonalionthunder]

How exactly do you think the British ended slavery?

[@giin97]

​@@ryonalionthunderwith a lot of money, buying the freedom of every slave, and passing laws banning the purchase of new ones. Minor clarification: ended slavery within their domain. There's still slavery today by many of the same people, we just don't sail up and buy them anymore.

[@ryonalionthunder]

@@giin97 stay with me here. How are laws enforced? Well, clue is in the name. Through force.

[@haroldcarfrey4206]

@@giin97 Actually Britain actually did not pay for them, representatives of the crown backed by the British Army and Navy freed them... The US Civil War had a similar approach

[@mpcrauzer]

Zhor'tir representative: should we mention the time the humans had that swarm of gritrays destroyed by an weaponized moon? Pih'thrak representative: no, nonono, no, Just no, not yet!

[@artofgamingwarfare3658]

Now I want to hear the sequel when they ignored the suggestion and attacked anyway

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the rhythm that is Algo Council says "Been there, done that, FIVE TIMES. Didn't bother with the t shirt."

[@MidnightSmoke]

great story, thank you for reading it to us. Here is a like and comment to help your channel grow and get you the recognition you deserve.

[@TheJasonBorn]

And now I want to hear more about this.

[@ChrisjayH1]

I really like the image of humans as space Afghanistan. It seems more fitting than most of the hfy tropes

[@dallassukerkin6878]

:grins: The rock upon which empires break.

[@AutomaticJack]

"They have the watches, but we have the time...." *INTENSIFIES*

[@boringnoninterestingname65]

Galactic level Afghanistan

[@luminyam6145]

I love your voices. I am incorporating some of them to use as puppets to entertain my grandchildren. Just brilliant🥳🥳🥳

[@InternetGravedigger]

The bad thing is that admiral is going to have a hard time convincing his government not to attack the humans... he can't tell them the reason it's a bad idea, as it's been classified to ONLY the council themselves.

[@voss0749]

If you want humans to cooperate. You need have the "conquering" species to be sweet and the cutest little thing youve ever seen and even then the "conquering" species has to be willing receive hugs and be fluff-fluffed.

[@charlenevarada--Stargazer]

Anyone for the Twilight Zone episode: "To Serve Man?" It turns out that it's a cookbook!

[@arthurchadwell9267]

Jeff Foxworthy's new book: " 101 recipes for aliens"

[@johncochran8497]

Yes, "To serve man" is a cookbook. But aside from the TZ story, I can easily imagine two ways to interpret it. 1. To serve man. A book of recipes using humans as an ingredient. 2. To serve man. A book of recipes using alien ingredients and methods of presenting such meals to humans in am appealing manner.

[@charlenevarada--Stargazer]

@johncochran8497 Hi John, that's true how you interpret that title. In that episode however, it was a cookbook! 😀

[@johncochran8497]

@@charlenevarada--Stargazer In both my interpretations, it's a cookbook.

[@KeyClavis]

Like the tunic/jacket! Lovely color...

[@user-iw6bu4iq4r]

"Cold War" lol. Should have ended with a holo vid pop up in the chamber with a human saying" He's right you know, we know all, we see all" then it cuts away and the council freaks.

[@Gwolfsoun]

Aliens: we are going to subjugate you Humans: (rubs hands together) Alexa make a Marvin Gaye, Isaac Hayes and Barry White playlist. Other aliens: oh my gods run!! They're setting the mood!

[@arthurchadwell9267]

Human; " squeal like a Tellerite!"

[@Iluvantir]

I'm just curious what the REAL "Boss Music" an alien race would be hearing at that point. I'd lean more towards something from Sabaton. Oh! Wind-Rose and Diggy Diggy Hole. Nice, pounding music with such cheerful words as we're setting to it keeping our planet safe from filthy Xenos... just so that we can go back to killing ourselves in peace.

[@duanesamuelson2256]

Being both older and ex military..thunderstruck ..flight of the Valkries...for whom the bell tolls..etc

[@thomasmandell3002]

Amon Amrath, Sabaton, Wind Rose, Battle Beast, Metallica, Megadeth,

[@zephyrstrife4668]

What doesn't kill humanity makes it stronger.

[@tomasdubravsky4851]

another new species tries to get approval to subjugate humans The council in its entirety: *insert "Shut" meme*

[@SergeyWaytov]

It was bit unexpected, but really interesting story

[@andewfusthe3rd]

I’m writing one of my own stories, and as excited as I am to share it, I’d rather people not poach certain parts It’s not written in the way of “humans are OP and every alien trembles before them” which is pretty standard for HFY, but I’m hoping it’ll be entertaining, some of my friends say it’s got a lot of potential, and even my dad liked it (he’s a big reader, but also kind of strict)

[@maurizioginanneschi9402]

Really enjoyed, really appreciated!

[@ryanstewart2289]

"These humans have so little industrial and military might compared to us, why haven't we subjugated them?" "You must be new here."

[@BedlamsSon]

Wonderful!

[@oakenshadow6763]

Seeing you on screen is awesome!

[@tdpuuhailee8222]

Concluson: Do not fuck with the humans.

[@johncochran8497]

Captain Kirk has entered the conversation "But it's perfectly OK to fuck a human."

[@jameskernan4848]

I don't know how many times you hear this but bro, you're good; thanks.

[@Sentientcap]

This is new and not unpleasent.

[@abbyjohnson1702]

We're the North Sentinel Island of the galaxy. Badass

[@wickedbird1538]

😮😮Humans to aliens: Don’t waste your time. We are fire ants if you kick our nest.

[@maker8167]

😂 I loved this one

[@BeeKisses]

We said obey The humans said yeet So yeet the fuck we did

[@bradwolf07]

Reading the title...Oof, that's a BAD IDEA

[@ProperDaveXD001]

Admiral, you appear distressed? Beg pardon, honoured delegates, I must contact my government immediately...

[@bigearl3867]

Agro Squirrel = Ground Squirrel?

[@rancidpitts8243]

Agro is Australian for Aggressive. Aggressive to the max.

[@kevinfogle7929]

This is a great channel

[@glenmaddock1819]

Aliens oh look we have the Humans surrounded , human oh look we are surrounded , we cant miss now can we.

[@TJCID22]

Ok man, it's your funeral.

[@jaimeosbourn3616]

We'll send flowers......Lots and lots of flowers.

[@LadyWarmachine]

New Council member: We would like to subjugate the humans. Rest of the Council: You must be new here.

[@BatmanSeRiedeTi]

Fucking awesome! You sir have true talent!

[@mikkelnpetersen]

"Come try to f*ck with us, and we will teach you the meaning of 'finding out'" - Humanity

[@zman0001000]

Don't mess with the pink skins

[@arthurchadwell9267]

I liked the Andorians so much more than the Tellerite or Vulcans.

[@MarrockV]

I have no idea why, but in my head I'm picturing 6 or 8 heavily armed yokels chasing an alien ground assault vehicle across oklahoma in a Cadillac El Dorado convertible...

[@CadetSammons]

Yes! Yes! My favorite HFY guy! His face is glorious! I'd always imagined him as a sort of elder turtle alien thing, but I like his real face even better.

[@Iluvantir]

Don't annoy the humans. They bite.

[@michaelloflin7278]

I love these shorts

[@gerardoramirez7998]

Humans “were bored” Aliens “ is that a car “

[@techformsmaster930]

It would seem as though the council doesn't fully understand what a cold war is, since it sounds like they don't think they should be preparing any new weapons, defenses, or surveillance methods. But the humans definitely are.

[@leechowning8728]

"Absolute mad lad"... suggests at least one system is in contact with the Terrans. The fact that every few decades a new idiot suggests war is known to them. The results will be something like that time someone lost a valuable ring into an active in-sink disposal, and reached in to save it.

[@AutomaticJack]

​@@leechowning8728I mean it wouldn't be a proper cold war if we weren't trying to subvert the loyalty of members of the other side and quietly convert them to our side, now would it.... New Astronomical Treaty Organization when???

[@rosebloodwater13]

So can we just chuck the Florida men and some Aussies at them this time? 🍿

[@Valeomega1996]

No bad Arethusa we don't want them to force us to sign the space equivalent of a Geneva convention.

[@ShadowknightEX]

How about we just send a few Oklahoma men. It’s like a slightly lesser Florida man. Might just scare em enough. Or even better it won’t.

[@TheAchilles26]

Nah, we're too mad for that. We told some Canadians it was another World War and hockey was being suspended because of it. We should be the only species left standing by Tuesday.

[@TheBeastCH]

And when the humans expand into confederation space, they will just evacuate and retreat?

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@rybread3981]

Oh, so this is what you got up to after Red Alert

[@ShadowknightEX]

Hahaha. They think we are actually ignoring them in a Cold War.😂

[@arthurchadwell9267]

That's why they won't answer the giant antenna in Aricebo... They know it's a trap!