A raw and genuine week in my life

not all weeks are good weeks and that's okay
hope you guys enjoyed todays video 🐾
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[@angelisareads]

im begging y'all to pls stop commenting what destiny should do (specifically therapy & meds). what she needs is support from her friends here on KZbin, and to not feel the pressure she constantly is. nobody knows what shes doing to help herself and implying that she isn't "doing the work" is unfair and irresponsible for any of the "therapists" commenting. yes she's sharing her life publicly, but a) that's her job and b) she also is being raw and real to show people they're not alone. it's isolating as hell to have hundreds of people comment what they think you should do to heal yourself. we love u des

[@Antonia-mk3sh]

couldn't agree more xx

[@ellarose.readss]

I love you, Des. I know you’re not feeling great in yourself but just know you make us happy every day, regardless of the content. Don’t burn yourself out!!!

[@anikarauhala1916]

So true! We all love you Destiny! You have no idea how much you have made me smile. I appreciate you so much and how you’re sharing your life and love of books with us. Love you!

[@madisonallen9400]

would love a life clean up video! even if it's just a bunch of time lapses of you going through stuff

[@tesawilder365]

Same! I’m going through a spring cleaning myself and would love come internet company 😂

[@frombrisa]

thank you so much for sharing the lows of mental health, I went through some really bad times last year in June and one thing that helped me get out of it was seeing/watching others going through similar things and then watching them get through it. It’s comforting knowing that people are going through the same thing/ur not alone and that it’ll get better

[@HJ-np3cx]

Just a reminder that there’s no shame in pursuing therapy + medication ❤️ sending love! thank you for sharing your life with us!

[@avamarie13]

your videos are so comforting and always a highlight of my day. thank you for making them! also I hope ur days get easier you deserve the best

[@ariannavalenzuela4062]

sending all the love!!! hard days make the good ones soooo worth it!!! be gentle with yourself and have patience, the version of you at rock bottom learns so many valuable lessons for the rest of her life!! it’s all a work in progress and it’ll all work out!! sending virtual hugs 🥹🌟🎀🫂

[@arivelreads]

this is one of my favorite videos of you. i have had such a bad couple of weeks and it’s weird because ill have a good day and then the next is bad. seeing one of my favorite people being so vulnerable and comfortable with us really makes me happy and makes me feel good.

[@gracewell-zx7uf]

These videos are what I'm living for rn. Love you Des❤

[@fallenashes]

Im so happy you are comfortable showing this side of you because it definitely helps me know that no one has a perfect life. Cause i definitely look up to you because you read a lot of books and seem really independent and productive by like actually going to the gym and stuff. So to know that even you deal with bad mental helth days/weeks feels really comforting. Always post what you want to post even if you think people will judge you for it, because there will definitely be others that applaud you for your bravery for not just showing the best side of yourself! Luv ya! ❤

[@jinansous4568]

I’m a med student in clinical rotations rn and also studying for exams and my mental health is struggling and honestly watching your videos is one of the few things that are helping me through. I wish we could be best friends I love your vulnerability and honesty!

[@MmeDogan]

I honestly love your vlogs, especially the ones where u talk about your mental struggles, while watching your videos, I realized that I had similar struggles mentally and it got me the strength I needed to seek out help and start a therapy for my anxiety. Some days or weeks are looking worse than others, and when i'm down, seing that im not the only one struggling and that it's okay to have those difficult moments even when in recovery, helps me enormously so that I don't feel horrible about myself ❤ i can't even imagine how hard it must be to put yourself out there and share on your struggles, but I have to say, being open and raw about them really helps others out. And that's not nothing ❤

[@bibilbophile]

The last thing I want to do is be a stranger on the internet who makes assumptions about what you are/are not doing to take care of yourself, but I would just encourage you to see a therapist or psychiatrist if you have the ability. Medication and therapy can really be life changing ❤️

[@JessiNied]

agree! with every video i‘m getting more concerned 🥺 therapy can be so helpful.

[@marth5326]

you don't have to share this, but yet you do and i'm so proud of you! know that you're not alone and it'll definitely get better. you deserve to have good happy days. i love you sm and ty for being so vulnerable with us

[@bea5687_]

Des the way you describe your body’s reaction to stress sounds like how I feel. I have recently went to my doctor and she said it’s panic attacks. It’s so hard to manage but structure will definitely help. Maybe set a timer everyday and create a schedule for the next day. Not a doc by any means but this definitely helps me so I don’t become overwhelmed. ❤

[@lyndseyspaeth]

hey des!! last year i was diagnosed with adhd (have always had anxiety/depression) and last year i really started taking my mental health seriously. i started going to therapy weekly, started medication, and actively doing things for ME and my mental health and it’s made a world of a difference. therapy is SO helpful and can help you figure out more about yourself and better ways to accommodate yourself, and medication truly does help some people, and if you are one of those people that’s okay!! make sure to always put you first girl, your mental health is just as important as physical 🩷

[@jenn9049]

des queen it’s fine there’s a lot of hard days when the anxiety is hitting and u feel so in ur head and anxious just remember it’s temporary but ur permanent and ur strong and u will push through until ur get out of this anxiety loop and eventually feel better nothing stays the same . sending u love and support luv ya sweet angel

[@jennyhinyub2432]

hey des! i love you and your videos so much, it’s the highlight of my whole day whenever i see the notification pop up ❤️❤️

[@brittniewalker5642]

I love that you are always so honest on your channel. Never feel bad about that! You are bringing us happiness with your content and being real! I agree cleaning my environment helps my mental health so much! Take care of yourself! You are doing an amazing job!❤

[@JoBrizell]

Thank you so much for sharing the lows of mental health! As I struggle with it and it’s nice to see that I’m not alone in this struggle! I love your vids and how open you are with your followers! Keep you head up high 💞🌷

[@JulEnglefaris]

Also for room cleaning or just unpleasant tasks.... It helps to recruit/bribe your mom or sister. Like if you help me put clothes away (or just keep you company) ill buy you a coffee / give you a cookie. Crappy tasks are always better with company

[@care2998]

Destiny I feel you on the constant tiredness. My mental health has not been it this month, and I’ve anxious and tired all the time. I’ve been trying to read the Bible more and really implement what scripture says about the mind and taking every thought captive and it hasn’t been easy, but I see it working.

[@sabrinakosa9472]

these are the highlights of my life rn

[@hannahamendola-or4rp]

i love you so much des, take your time/breaks if you need- you’re so strong and i’m glad you’re here ❣️

[@readingwkatelyn]

sending you all the love & good vibes♥️ have fun on your trip & we DEF need the life clean out video!! closet clean outs/organize videos are some of my favs

[@johnnam1380]

No feeling is final. That’s what my therapist taught me when I battled with the worst of my depression and anxiety. I hope you are well 🌿

[@amberpritt3816]

This video hurt my heart but I've also been feeling the same. Not really depressed but just tired and unmotivated, no energy! I hope you are feeling better ❤

[@frshdumbledore2825]

I completely understand you! I feel the worst I have ever felt since a few months now already. School is really stressing me and I just totally understand what you are telling us! But I know we will all get through this. So proud of you! And if you ever need a break you know it is totally alright❤

[@bookswithruth]

This video actually helped me start doing things I’ve been putting off. I felt like a friend was encouraging me and I just had this on in the background while I tackled my room.

[@bensuggs]

Hey Destiny! It sounds like to me that you’re experiencing some major burn out, there are a lot of responsibilities you’ve assigned to yourself that are causing you to feel a lot of weight on your shoulders. Which, don’t get me wrong, ambition and drive is a great thing - but when that’s all you know how to do, and then that ambition and drive isn’t getting you out of your rut you end up feeling stuck/relapsing back into the rut (like you mentioned at the end of the video). As a mental health counselor, I think you would benefit greatly from seeing a counselor! Having someone you can be open and honest with that isn’t going to judge you, and can collaborate with you on your life goals can be so healing. I know that sounds impossible with your already packed schedule, but trust me it’s worth it. P.S. I related to you so much when you mentioned the weight you felt when you didn’t want to clean your room. I would suggest doing a little task everyday to help keep it clean, rather than doing it all at once. It’s much more manageable, and your brain will give you a serotonin boost when you’ve completed a goal you’ve set for yourself - no matter how small. For example, making your bed first thing in the morning will help you start your day with a small victory! And then you can keep going accomplishing other small victories.

[@whatsbelladoing]

I’m so happy you posted this because I too have been struggling with my mental health. I’m just glad you are able to share this bc it makes me feel less alone in this and reminds me that I just have to live laugh & love and just keep on keeping on because life doesn’t end at my ripe age of 16 years old. Although sometimes, and I think some can relate, it feels like I’m a teenage girl sized puddle on the floor just riddled with anxiety, I gotta remember that I am allowed to take breaks and take a breath. I personally want you to enjoy making videos and living life, as I would want someone for me, so I hope you are able to just take a well deserved break. Anyway sorry for rambling thanks again I guess?

[@BrookCollins-fi4zz]

Destiny you are so real. I know that these are difficult for you to do and put out but they truly help me. Whenever you need a little help we are here for you. Take your own time on all of this stuff. You truly are my favourite KZbinr. Love you Des, have fun on your trip!

[@miahhargrove]

i love you sm des and im proud of u for still posting, take any breaks if u need to. no matter what and when u post it always makes my day better so js do what u can, we love you!!!

[@saraclav3671]

We adore you Des. I can’t stress enough about how much anxiety and depression meds (lexapro) and a therapist has helped me, take care of yourself sweetheart

[@daisyyyyyy]

thank you soo much for this video & your openness about your mental health! im going through my final semester of senior year and im just in the biggest slump and it made me feel better to know im not alone (,: i love your videos so much and i really appreciate your vulnerability you show to us viewers

[@KathyDubs]

Hi friend - I'm a psychologist so I just wanted to offer some thoughts. In this video you talk about so many crucial things (routine, environmental fit, taking things one at a time) and yes! All super important. However, it's important not to rush what you're feeling right now, because those feelings are there for a reason and trying to tell you something. My best guess would be that there is just a lot going on always, so maybe some boundaries with work or even other random tasks would help reduce some of that anxiety and give you some more bandwidth back for self-care time? Do whatever makes most sense to you, but my guess is that something's gotta give somewhere or it might not be sustainable long-term. Remember Des, it's okay to operate like a human and not a machine!

[@juliask8s958]

hey des! i also struggle with my anxiety and one thing that really helped me was to take Magnesium, Vitamin D and Ashwaghanda supplements! I take them before bed and it helps me relax mentally and physically for a better sleep :)

[@SamanthaGraceReads]

We love you so much. Take the time you need to rest and we’ll always be here to support you On the other hand, I would absolutely love to see a full life clean out!!

[@sagekay]

I hope you don’t take this comment in a mean way, but I hope you reach out to a professional to talk about your mental health. I absolutely LOVE how you talk to your experiences and how open you are, and I think you would really benefit from having someone to help you work through a lot of your anxiety, and help you figure out the root cause of it. Therapy and antidepressants have truly SAVED my life, and while I know that’s scary, I cannot imagine where I would be now without them. You deserve to talk about yourself in a positive way (don’t think we don’t see your comments about you being dramatic or stupid! We don’t and I hate that because you’re neither of those things), and to feel good everyday. So so soooo proud of you for sticking to your routines and persevering through life, but EVERYONE needs help organizing thoughts sometimes. I hope you at least consider!

[@rohausmani4524]

We all love you so much Des. You are so strong for not giving up and continuing to try, you can absolutely 100% get through this. I believe in you, we all do. Keep slaying queen.

[@kellyanndelarosa2292]

I can relate to you so much. Something I find to be super helpful hack to overcome cleaning is to set a timer for a 15 minute sprint clean. Sometimes all you need is to start and you will end up finishing it well past the timer ❤

[@terrys8981]

Is there a reason why you and Sara don't take turns editing the pod? No hate at all - I love watching both of your vids, but if you've got a lot going on it may make your load a little lighter! Hope you're ok xx

[@hannahmoore7245]

i’ve wondered the same for awhile. it would help des have less to do. if i’m right i think sara isn’t as advanced in editing?maybe that’s why. i just want the best for them both!

[@ChemicalPenguinn]

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who hasn't found a single five star read yet this year. I'm beginning to question whether I even like reading at this point.

[@madi_iiiiii5]

Would love to see the cleaning for a week. thank u for being raw and real. I’ve been going through something similar for almost a year now. it sucks and I hate it but I also know that im not alone. You aren’t either. Always know that there is someone that is cheering you on and understands what you are going through. if you wish to stand still, I’ll stand right next to you. always here for you. I love you des 🩷

[@MaileEric]

Hey girl, you are awesome. Thanks for always keeping it real. I’ve also had a not so great mental week, and watching this made me feel better, so thank you!

[@ren.sparks]

I’ve been feeling so down lately too. I’m trying to write it off as seasonal depression because this really does happen to me every winter. just hoping summer comes soon and solves all my problems 😭

[@sarahb208]

I love your vulnerability, dealing with anxiety is hard for me sometimes & videos like this makes me feel less alone. Love you destiny

[@katiekaboom7747]

Sending all the love your way! I have the same catch-22 experience where my anxiety and depression make me not want to/have the energy to keep my space tidy and then the messy space makes my mental health worse. It's a vicious cycle.

[@aniyahmiciel7218]

Hey destiny, you are my favorite KZbinr. I love watching your videos, when you talk about your anxiety I hope you know it makes a lot of us feel less alone. Especially, some of us that may not have deep friendships that we can share our bad feelings and struggles with. I think something that may help is that you are extremely structured I think that’s why I relate to you so much. I am a control freak and until after watching your videos I thought I was the only one that needed a routine to function🙃. I love watching your monthly resets and all the videos that you schedule for us to enjoy. One thing about creativity though is that sometimes the best quality art comes when you do something just because you are in the mood for it. Thank you for all that you do and thank you for sharing this with us so we can feel closer to you. You’re a great KZbinr and a strong beautiful person, I hope you start feeling better soon ❤

[@ElizabethEdwards-jx6rt]

hey des, i’ve been a silent supporter for about a year now and your videos truly feel so personal. with that said, do what makes you happy while focusing on your mental health being put FIRST. anxiety is so tuff but so are you!

[@yeeyee_cristina]

My Sunday morning just got better

[@reesek5130]

thank you so much for sharing this vlog des, i can’t imagine how hard it must be to share this vulnerable side of yourself on the internet. I really love these weekly vlogs and they’re alway such a great start to my week! I hope the best for you and am praying for better days, you deserve the world ❤

[@zsfantasticbooks]

You're not the only one with mental health cause I deal with depression and sometimes anxiety but mostly depression and I take pills for it.

[@Missmisery22]

Yess I'd love to see your April life clean out video it will definitely give me inspiration ❤

[@emileechampion2314]

Does, I think you have a huge following that loves not just your videos but adores you as a human being. You could film cleaning your room and I’d watch. Please remember to take care of you first!!!! ❤ much love

[@injiqi4695]

Im sorry you’re going through things Des.. we love you❤

[@leer3394]

As a book girly with severe anxiety in high school I love hearing about your experiences they make me feel less alone. We love you Des!!!!

[@mialau8380]

This vlog has come at the perfect time for me. I've been struggling recently and it's nice to see people be open about similar struggles 💜💜 thank you Des, getting these things out give them less power and you're inspiring me to do the same. You're doing amazing!! 🫶🫶

[@Sydneyylow]

It’s okay bestie, today is March 21st and i went from reading 8 books last month to just finishing my first one of the month ❤️ thanks for being real about your mental health. Medication and therapy helped me help my anxiety and depression a lot. Before Daylight savings I was feeling the exact same way you are ❤️

[@brendaluu710]

This video couldn’t have come out at a more perfect time for me… I’m in a huge slump. My entire apt is a mess, I’ve pushed back a lot of tasks because I’ve been exhausted, I’m trying to cut back on caffeine but it’s not working, and my overall anxiety is at an all time high, and it’s just all a vicious cycle. After watching this, I feel a bit more motivated to clean up my area and I hope that, in turn, that will help my overall motivation to get stuff done. I’m over this slump and it taking over my life!!!

[@lexao6062]

girl you should never feel like you cant talk about your feelings! this is your own platform and your world and if you want to say something, do it. know that there is at least one person that loves you and your content and that understands your feelings. You are like my online big sister and hearing you talk about your emotions has really helped me in the past. Do whatever you feel like you should and don't let the fear of anyone's opinions get in your way!

[@bhaavyabatra4622]

Thank you for being vulnerable especially on the internet. It definitely takes a lot of courage to show and talk about one's lows. Hope you feel better really soon. You are doing an amazing job, so hang in there. I absolutely love your videos. ❤❤

[@AliVanSickle]

Girl I totally relate to where you're coming from. You can get through this! You're so strong and capable. We love you

[@hollyperry7866]

We love you Des and want you to take care of yourself💜i went through something similar with my mental health last year and it got so bad I knew I had to start therapy or else I didn’t know what would happen to me. I eventually started a low dose of an SSRI and it changed my life. I’m not looking to it as a permanent fix but just to help me on the path of healing. For me also my diet and hormones have a huge affect on my mental health and as women I think that’s something we should take extra care of. I know you probably already think of all these things but I just wanted to put it out there as an encouragement to let you know that nothing is wrong with YOU, sometimes we just need some extra time and help💜

[@lulun1669]

I think I can say this for everyone subscribed to you. If you need a break, take that much needed break because we will still be here when you come back!! :)) I'm working a 9-5pm while in my twenties, so I NEED my vacations. I feel like you have not had a "vacation" from your work in a while! While I do love and appreciate how much you upload videos, you mental health is more important!!

[@Elxuxoxo]

Has anyone ever suggested you could have ADHD? For women the "symptoms" most commonly appear inside our heads! For me meltdowns feel like I'm literally tired of living and I don't have enough energy for all the daily tasks. You have a lot of great coping mechanisms but it could help you learn how your brain works better💕 It's all about that dopamine! 😊

[@azaliahsherwood1842]

Destiny that is EXACTLY how I feel about my room and my mental health. When my room is a mess my mental health is a mess and I put off cleaning it but when I clean it I feel a lot better mentally. Also praying for you to feel better mentally :))

[@kristenk2503]

Aww destiny…it’s okay to be in a rut, we still absolutely love you and we appreciate you being so open with us ❤ i know the feeling of being in such a slump mentally, and i know it isnt easy, just take it day by day and do whatever you need to do, we understand!

[@ashleykramer7612]

It's okay to not be okay!! I love you Destiny. You being vulnerable is really awesome to see. Thank you for being your true self. It makes me feel validated and that we can have bad days and that's okay! Keep doing what your des. You're amazing!

[@abbyhill357]

I like watching real videos like this of you Des. You’re my comfort creator!!

[@xxtarniixx]

Des, your video came at the perfect time. I’ve been having a hard time recently and your video made me feel so much better. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of your life and know it does help others 💗

[@melodycollis]

We all have so much love for you Des! 💕 you bring us so much joy everyday, but also remember to take a break and look after yourself 🖤

[@figlings]

hi des! i know it probably doesn't mean much but as a frequent caffeine drinker, whenever I stop drinking caffeine it makes my depressive moods worse/I get terrible sleep as well. usually I either can't sleep at all or I sleep for way too long, and so I just wanted to say it's not just your caffeine intake and so on affecting you! I hope you feel better and rest well luvy, and know we are always rooting for you no matter the time you need to take to heal

[@heyitsmakayla111]

I know you mentioned about the energy drink thing and it might not be caffeine thats making thing's worse but be carful about the food coloring in food and drinks because they all can actually cause anxiety and depression, and for you who already suffers from severe anxiety I would try to stay away from those chemicals as much as possible. I know it won't cure you but it might help at least a little bit. Love you and I hope you feel better soon💗 just take it easy on yourself.

[@_its_me_liv_]

hey des!! first off, i wanna say how much your videos bring a smile to my face, they truly brighten my day 🫶🏻. i also wanna share my experience with anxiety and depression. i thought i could make it go away on its own, but meds and therapy truly saved my life. obviously not saying this to make you feel even more terrible, but maybe it can help you too? also know that we are here for you ALWAYS, even though we are lil people behind a screen to you, you change so many lives by being you 💗💗💗

[@sophiagrimm5352]

Okay, thank. you. I feel the same way rn and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm always tired and I never get good sleep and everything is so overwhelming. I'm so glad I'm not the only one

[@brendasauer]

You're amazing Des! It's really difficult when we're in depressive state, but I hope you know that you're not alone. If you don't want to publish a video then just don't. Choose to do what's best for you at the moment, we'll understand. Truly, you're not alone ❤

[@lilacbooks]

We have so much appreciation for you Des!!❤

[@breaavril]

i love that you always keep it real i've been having a rough season too and seeing other people describe what i'm feeling so perfectly always makes me feel less alone... i hope you feel better 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@ingridmj]

I hope things gets easier for you soon, destiny! you are such a light in so many people's life, don't ever forget that! please relax and have a great time on your trip

[@patriciapegueros7092]

take care of yourself and thanks for sharing. also please dont ever feel pressured to put out content if your not feeling well mentally. we truly appreciate that you did, i always look forward to your videos.

[@destineeleimbach4744]

I’m right here with you. I was struggling so badly and I know I’m off but I can’t seem to fix it. I just know how you feel. You’re not alone. This video was perfectly timed for me as well.

[@Grace_.6]

i love watching your videos they’re so calming and entertaining to watch, especially ones like these when you still wanna provide some content to your fans but it’s more raw content ❤❤ love you des 🫶🫶🫶

[@ashliepowell3859]

Hey!! I'm someone who also struggles with functioning in a messy space. When there's a mess or just clutter everywhere it triggers my anxiety because it's almost like the mess in my brain has manifested into a visual real mess around me. I feel 100% better in a Clean space so even if my head is still a mess the space around me is visually better and relaxing. I do the same thing as you tho where I go back and forth between keeping a space clean while I'm happy and then as my anxiety wears on me I stop cleaning as much because I'm tired. It's a terrible cycle and u wish you the best!!

[@miahua9111]

does sara also edit the podcasts? maybe it can be split so that you aren’t always editing the pod while editing videos too

[@LucyBridges-jk3un]

can i just say that seeing my favorite youtuber having similar mental health struggles as me is a comforting feeling knowing I'm not alone, and you arent either Des! it'll be okay, Jesus loves you. I love your videos and your such a sweet person. Love you Des!

[@reaghanblake]

I highly highly recommend getting your hormones checked. Hormones can affect so much! That and make sure you’re getting magnesium 🩷

[@JulEnglefaris]

Yes! Magnesium is so important for health and sleep, and most people have low levels

[@pariswilliams9603]

I love an honest queen ❤I hope u take care I will definitely be praying you from one sister to another ❤

[@sammabaybee]

Mental health isn’t linear, all we can do is what we can to. You’re doing your best and that’s good enough ❤

[@emmap759]

This vid was much needed, it feels so comforting to have someone to relate to

[@ciarabegley11]

love you des. take a break if you need it girl. we'll be here when you come back. as always, love the video

[@m.e.a.9407]

Thank you for the honest vlog! I had the worst two weeks before this one, and it was so hard to even make my bed. I hope you feel better soon 💚🌻

[@gabriellagrace3926]

I heard someone say once, "tidy on the outside makes tidy on the inside" and I try to live by that as often as I can.

[@kourtnicurry1216]

Des, you're not alone. I have those kinds of days too. Sometimes we just have to give ourselves some grace and patience. You got this, sis! 🙏💜🙂

[@karleejade0]

thank you for being so vulnerable, sending love💌

[@user-yg3zy9ki1x]

Hope you're okay, Des! We all support you no matter what!!! 💘

[@lillywhisnerrr]

I’m praying for you destiny!!

[@umapraharshitha]

ahhhh. i love watching your vlogs. they are soo real and raw always. also pleasee ( pretty please ) do a “this video ends when i find a 5 star book “ video maybe using your physical tbr. its going to be a long video and we are gonna love it lol😊

[@mariavivanco.d]

Thank you for being vulnerable. Your videos always make my day!

[@katrinasolomon5543]

Thanks for sharing. Everyone is different. I like to physically write and do a brain dump of what is on my mind. Deep breathing exercises and listening to podcasts at night. I usually never hear the end 😊