Abortion: "I'm not ready to have a baby."

[@elisaburnett4639]

If you're not ready to have a baby you shouldn't have a baby it's simple as that. If I got pregnant tomorrow I would have an abortion because I'm not ready to have a baby. If I had the baby the baby would be born into a terrible situation. I have no preperations or anything. I'm not ready. The simple fact is if aren't ready chances are you're going to have a child you resent for derailing your life. Birthing a child into a situation like that is irresponsible.

[@oakleavesandonions771]

See, I don't think that's necessarily the case. I think that's what we've been told. That's what I was told growing up. But I was told a lot of things growing up that didn't match with the reality I experienced once I was out in the world. First of all, no one feels ready to have a baby. I was literally giving birth and I didn't feel ready to have a baby. I don't see many people in my generation who've grown up around babies, so it's understandable that many of us won't feel comfortable around babies. If we put off having children until we feel more comfortable, our window of fertility can easily be closing by the time we work up the courage to try. As far as resenting unexpected children-- according to the APA, there hasn't been much research into how women feel if they've been denied abortions. I've seen a few who've resented being unable to abort, but an equal (if not greater) number who've been grateful they had to have the baby. Anecdotes aside, the maternal drive is a very strong thing. I think the chances a woman will resent her child are not as high as we're typically led to believe. I think it's a safe bet that, for most women (not all, but at least a slight majority) when they first meet the baby their instinct to love and care for that baby starts to kick in pretty fast. I understand that freedom of personal choice is a very important thing. I think women should have that freedom. I was grateful for the freedom to have my own abortion. But I really do not think that children born from unexpected pregnancies are somehow doomed to a terrible life. I've read stories by women who are living with their fiances, who want to have children someday-- sometimes who are happy and excited when they find out they're pregnant-- who then convince themselves to abort because they think it's not a good time. Contraceptives make sense if it's not a good time. If you're already pregnant, you already have a baby. It's a human being. To say otherwise would be a lie. In cases like this, these women are literally killing babies that they want and already feel some degree of attachment to-- literally over a matter of convenience. That's horrible. And I blame our society. I think we've all been taught that aborting when you're trying to focus on school or build up your career is the responsible thing to do. And I think it's a lie. Particularly in cases where the woman in question has already found a man she knows she wants to have children with and intends to have those children anyway at some point in her life. It's not a matter of being responsible or irresponsible. I think it's more a matter of our society passing a moral judgment that many of us never think to question: your career is more valuable than your children. And that's not true.