Ace Metaphor Talks Secret Life of F* Boys, Healthy Masculinity, Why People Get Hurt + More

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This week on the podcast Hafeez and Chris is joined by Ace Metaphor to discuss the secret life of f* boys, healthy masculinity, why people get hurt + more. If you like this episode with Ace Metaphor and want to see more of The Roommates be sure to subscribe to our podcast via any podcast streaming catalog to access our full catalog.
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[@TheRoommatesPodcast]

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[@1111V2]

Men who can practice celibacy are worthy of so much respect. Self control and discipline are characteristics of leaders.

[@TheEnigmaticBM39]

That's what alot of women say online, but it's the opposite in real life..m

[@vivica8207]

Outside of religion, I've never met a man that practiced celibacy. It's just not natural for a man.

[@taronbrown551]

True

[@taronbrown551]

@@TheEnigmaticBM39 true

[@nahova3167]

I mean I’ve been celibate for 17 years, I’m 17 years old btw

[@demidickson3446]

I'm SO happy Ace spoke on the self-worth of men and the need to love themselves. Women get that talk a lot but men need to hear this too.

[@kuunami]

I'm 40 and I can assure you that it's not only young folks who are doing this. My generation is sadly immature as well.

[@lalastaywoke]

kuunami facts!

[@joyell821]

Yes indeed.

[@tamcar04]

Soooooo sad.

[@nickwing6194]

I have seen immature 50 year olds plus some years as well.

[@ShortDarknLovely]

Yup... for a while there, I was meeting men 10 years younger who where more mature than men my age. it was weird! LOL

[@erikacruz4296]

Praying to meet a healed man, preach it 🙏❤Ace. We r all work in process😔

[@TheThirtyJourney]

Very interesting view on serial dating and being intentional while dating. Have friends, but know how to draw the line and avoid “practicing” with people’s hearts. Couldn’t agree more. Great advice and discussion guys!

[@stevosacorner]

Its dangerous to treat someone heart wrongly

[@1111V2]

@@stevosacorner you and the commentor would look cute together.

[@stevosacorner]

Thank you very much Ma. Its just that cool, respectful, God fearing and nice guys like us are still praying to be lucky to heart our own heartbeat. 60% of ladies today are gambling with good heart.

[@keithbyrd7566]

we practice as human beings to gain and enhance skills. There are other outcomes from sexual romantic relationships than hurt and heartbreak. I have had very joyful romantic experiences through which I learned a lot about relating, sensuality, partnering on projects and goals from relationships that did lead to marriage and were not intended to. I get their point but it’s narrow.

[@willellis502]

Man the respect for this brotha Ace just went through the roof.

[@foodforthought8869]

I totally agree!

[@HISprincessV]

Exactly bc he's being transparent

[@thart6205]

This was a highlighted episode for this season for sure ! I appreciate you all having Ace in for this discussion!

[@letscarryit]

Pastor Voddie B. says "Casual dating is nothing but Divorce practice ."

[@generalcrew5159]

Doesnt make sense. Casual dating will get you to know what kind of women you like, it'll help you with communication skills and plenty more.

[@benaiahwright937]

Makes perfect sense

[@saywhatondat]

Very profound insight Ace ! Selfishness , pride/egos, not knowing yourself or not following God’s direction biblically as the foundation of the relationship will harm the relationship and set it up for failure

[@kayajackson50]

Ace is so interesting and wise. This conversation good. I laughed and learned. Thanks guys!!! ❤️

[@kadjad.1052]

I enjoyed this thoroughly. I teach my son that it's okay to be vulnerable and it's a sign of strength. I think it's so important to take time to heal as well. I hope people apply your message to their lives and I will as well. I am so grateful to have run across this video, I appreciate y'all xoxoxox

[@bravknows3953]

Becareful.. You dont wanna raise up a woman trying to raise a man

[@ravencroft93]

Man, this may be my favorite interview thus far. I love y’alls vulnerability in this episode. Definitely makes me feel like their are good guys that are out here putting in the work. Keep up the good conversations y’all!

[@JaeWest]

Of course there are good men out there. Its up to you to differeniate between the person who has strong vs weak character.

[@djpotpourre10]

This was such a great episode! I have dated both types and in the end my value for myself is worth more than my want for them if they aren’t ready. Emotional intelligence is key and this is why I am always seeking to improve myself and be self-reflective and self-aware so that my communication skills and relational skills are lit 🔥 😁

[@vishavee9194]

Omg....Good Guy with F boy tendencies...It just clicked that I am seeing one. Everything Ace said was real for me. This came at the right time for me. Im no longer entertaining these types of men!!

[@stevosacorner]

Marry someone who will change ur weakness to a strength. Watch and pray sister

[@MijoShrek]

Oh shit right here we saving lives, watch it there sis u make him aware of it he'll pivot and change the script on you and make u then think your helping become a better man baby omg and use that to keep you reeled in..that's advice confessions from a FBoy in recovery that is

[@jamiechang1561]

I didnt know there was good guy with f boy tendencies until I experienced it in my last relationship. Sigh... I'm wiser now

[@lavonnajackson9491]

Loved listening to this discussion, Ace is a young man with an old wise soul, love him!❤

[@quietquintessa5270]

One of the most powerful and impactful episode video I have ever seen on KZbin. Period. 🙏

[@thepathofcinnamon5688]

Best episode ever! Knowledge at every turn! ACE, I am officially a fan! Love your work. Thanks for having him on!

[@SanctifiedSista117]

This was so good! I'm feeling refreshed by this conversation and hopeful for men! I want to make it one of my goals to encourage men to be men and to also be ok with being vulnerable and expressing themselves. That's so important!

[@ItsDesireeRose]

This is such a good episode and talking about loving 3 parts of that person are so key... Thank you Ace for your amazing words of wisdom. All 3 of you men are doing amazing work, keep doing what you're supposed to be doing to better this world.

[@GodisGracious11]

Loved everything about it! Go for the one that does and says what he/ she says is going to do ... 💜🙌🏼

[@saneeshaf]

Chris is hilarious lol But guys!!!!! This episode is LIFE!!!!!!! I appreciate yall so much You guys really put things into the right perspective and this is much needed. So many people have no clue who they r and what they do or dont like because we go into these situationships and relationships blindly. We have this go with the flow mentality and that's so unwise. I took a year off for no dating to get to know me and God deeper. I'm going on 2 years and it's the best decision I've ever made. I believe God is opening me up to dating now and it's a shift in my mind involving myself with a man now. Im happy to have videos like these on KZbin

[@stephtonneson]

Chris's reaction to hafiz's use of the word "French" was absolute gold

[@inhabitantofearth]

It's very unfortunate that men think we care about a man's financial status. It is frustrating dealing with men who aren't financially responsible or who I feel like is comfortable with me taking care of him like he's still a child. But it has more to do with lack of ambition/initiative than how much money he has. Like, I wouldn't want a man who just sits around the house all day watching tv or just hanging out with his friends. There are plenty of women like me who don't expect men to financially take care of/splurge on us because we are in a time where we can do that for ourselves. So, a man's "wealth" is less appealing since we now don't have to depend on it to survive.

[@1111V2]

No ma'am....please never tell a man that his financial status is not important because in this world a man must be a provider in order to compete with the other men in society and win. Black men have been let off the hook when it comes to providing. Black women must be independent because the men are not dependable. Although women can do for themselves, women in a relationship with a man should not HAVE TO do for themselves. The man is useless in a marriage if he is not resourceful. Forget all the romance crap...finance plus romance keeps communities strong.

[@TheEnigmaticBM39]

@@1111V2 and being submissive and feminine also goes a long way in maintaining families

[@infozone9601]

You chose to date a loser woman. Most men are employed. You're just good at finding the losers

[@infozone9601]

@@TheEnigmaticBM39 Black chicks man

[@TheEnigmaticBM39]

@@infozone9601 yeah.

[@Fitbody_bysarah]

This is why I’m focused on God, my purpose and my family.🙏🏾💰👩‍👧‍👦

[@candaceray9288]

This was so good. Getting back on the horse after a long relationship can be scary thing. Watching this gives me hope that some men really want a real relationship.

[@kholofeloshongwe2872]

This guy is so right. We ladies really fall just the little things. As a lady its really had to sport such a fuck boy. To be honest Thank God I have a deeper connection and strong relationship with God. That really helped me hey. The way to actually eliminate these fuck boy is telling them that you are celibate and will only have sex after marriage and you don't do sleepovers, Netflix and chills. Remember you don't say all these things on the first date. Get to know them, ask questions what they want in life, their goals and if you hear them say, "I said marriage its not my thing.... I will see it myb after 4 yrs and please stop overthinking life like you have to have an answer to every feeling or situation. and lastly , Wen am with u am wit u in our world alone.... No other ppl". Talking from experience. Run... He will say it's your choice, You leaving me I am not, I love you.."

[@DE-wy8en]

Amazing! Watching from UK

[@PlatinumDagger]

14:22 my ex boyfriend good guy with fboy tendencies.... Wow. Thank you one of my good friends told me he was when I told her about what he did during the breakup. I kinda didn't believe her but now you have confirmed it.👏👏👏

[@muva_magic4924]

I can't wait to see him when he comes to Memphis! I love him

[@vanessalandry9763]

What a blessing, thank you so very much my young brothers.💯

[@Itsadivinething]

Keep up the great job Kings!!

[@Bloquita5]

Wow! Amazing content! Thank you for creating this platform and for the intelligent dialogue. I often find that us not taking the time and space to understanding what we really feel, why we feel it and not being clear about what we want is why we waste so much time and have to go through a lot pain. I really enjoyed this conversation and loved hearing it from a male perspective. Thank you.

[@savitriguard1497]

Practical advice. Dating with intention or not at all. Strongly agree. At the root is a disconnected man. The root of addiction, being a player/f-boy, narcissism, violence, withdrawal, etc. The documentary The Mask You Live In does an incredible job breaking down societal conditioning of masculinity and the unhealthy aftermath.

[@lotusflores]

One of the best episodes!!! I learned so much.

[@dsprange4105]

What a blessing to see these topics being discussed and valued by men as we so often only hear the female perspective. Thank you for everything you guys are working on. This content will be therapeutic for so many who are lost.

[@msannei]

Ace!! That last statement was a deep one. Come on sir! Never thought about it like that

[@osoclassy27]

Wheres the lie? All truth. I love , love , loved this episode. Thank y'all

[@amc5048]

Awesome message 👏🏾💯 I need to hear this thank you. I have to do better

[@foodforthought8869]

Every man needs to hear and really UNDERSTAND 57:00. This guy is so smart and so on point. Whatever woman gets him will be sooo fortunate.

[@Fredleea77]

Ace THANK YOU

[@theresala9844]

🤦🏻‍♀️🤣😂👌🏼 "Nike sign" Lo-Key subliminal message to the Hunnies....Baby be like Nike "Just Do It" 🤦🏻‍♀️😂🤦🏻‍♀️

[@Quoteablemoments]

Boyyyyy that incognito fuck boy “good guy” is so spot on....thanks for explaining it I get told all the time I ask a lot of questions, but my questions are intentional. The questions do scare some people off, but GOOD😉

[@dedricdxenowilliams2550]

That was deep man.. Such I powerful message from Ace Metaphor. Thank you for the amazing content you beautifully handsom people!

[@Melli510]

One of the best sessions so true so real great guest!

[@ladawnwarren8570]

Great show for men and women ❤️

[@Miko-yw5xt]

this guy is ace by name and ace by nature...x

[@malachiforde68]

Thank you brother Ace for all the bombs. Needed this at this transition time of my life.

[@inhabitantofearth]

How do you give/love unconditionally without being taken advantage of? Everything is a "give and return" isn't it? Otherwise, shit is just one-sided, right? You'll just be a person that people like to mooch off of...a host to parasites. I struggle with this. I feel the need to be closed off because I feel like people don't really care about me as a person, they only care about what I can do for them. I like doing things for people because it does make me feel good inside, and I want other people to be happy. But I always wind up feeling empty/left hanging when I need someone. I feel like what i'm doing wrong is giving too much. But where do you draw the line? If you DO draw a line, isn't that pretty much expecting something from others?...NOT giving/loving unconditionally?

[@farhiyaa4880]

relationship is conditional. state your position, expectations and wants...then if your not getting your needs met..give a warning..then leave.

[@ericdavis684]

This was so dope

[@prosperousk5477]

Great conversation 🔥🔥

[@christinamalinzi]

OMG this is soooo goooddd 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@QUADacityLyfe]

Daaaaammnnnn. I just realized I was dealing with a f boy

[@HISprincessV]

Now you're EMPOWERED to make better moves!!

[@kholofeloshongwe2872]

I don't have a problem with my partner crying, I actually think it's sexy and shows that they are human also not rocks.

[@ManiaBeats]

No you don't. if he do that a few too many times you gon lose respect for him and think he a lil bitch. So its better for a man to avoid it as much as he can.

[@folatooreal8582]

Krystal MIlls no it’s not. It’s weakness

[@cris_yeager]

I was a rock with so many of my ex’s and when i finally let it out on my last one, man those tears would not stop 😂 i believe theres a threshold to overdoing it, i was in a pretty low point in my life at that time so i don’t regret things.(ps she was like a rock because of her past & we broke up so I’m pretty sure she lost respect/faith in me)

[@infozone9601]

@@cris_yeager You silly rabbit. why would she respect a cry baby

[@chrisoduro2214]

"i just want some blanket!" deadddddddddd

[@breejones8945]

thank you for being honest! so many women are gaslit when guys play dumb and it's not cool.

[@themasterJ3]

You guys are amazing!!

[@eugeniyah8078]

What a show! I love your channel - it really helps us to heal as individuals so that we can accomplish and succeed in every single aspect of our lives, especially in whatever The Creator has called us to do. Thank you.

[@ASIATHEMOMMY]

14:55 Chris’s face 😩😂😂

[@lilcrzipassions9316]

Guess what guys... There's heart and strength BOTH, in crying too 👍

[@MijoShrek]

what Ace said At the end,that's right there boys is why u continue with ur content that will go on separating you from everyone else. This is the fuckboy who acted a fool and is devestated in the wake of his 20s is all alone and my the only one who ever really made all the difference in my life, is now someone elses wife. To my broken boys out there who are playing around not facing their pains,This is u r future self saying please get it together before and learn the lessons before the lessons make u learn..

[@Sm0oR3z]

Self preservation is key.

[@hgfw9295]

I would like to ask a question. What is a man in progress supposed to do with his sexuality? I'm talking about a good man with f*** boy tendencies who just realized it aint the way and wants to turn the right direction. What is your opinion and advice guys?

[@John56163]

Redirect energy, or Pray

[@justinfrazier5075]

Redirect that energy also to fitness.

[@lateciacarter2914]

Great show guys.😃

[@cataleya1318]

Bless him, he’s amazing 🙏💖

[@DelmaCosta]

Really enjoyed this episode! 👌🏾

[@seraphina2293]

this is wisdom

[@s.dnellagay7195]

So true 🙌🏾

[@shandishanza1233]

Woow feeling inspired 🤔 you are preaching good keep on going word in season! Divorced years ago with 3 kids and still believe God’s way is the ONLY winning formula. #renewurmind. Regards from South Africa🇿🇦

[@miapettway8731]

If you don't heal from the hurt of others, you will hurt others! Hurt people, Hurt People!

[@nayymoneyy]

Wow wow wow wow woooowwww GEMS dawg🙌🏽💎💎💎💎💎💎💎

[@BoLuke]

People LOVE talking about toxic masculinity, but you will never hear a peep about toxic femininity.

[@TheEnigmaticBM39]

You never do and the good women dont hold toxic females accountable for their actions either.

[@lexiilex7940]

There are tons of conversations on it. You find what you seek.

[@foodforthought8869]

@@lexiilex7940 Exactly. Why are we trying to change the topic instead of trying to absorb what can make you better...

[@toniwilliams9817]

Yeah that movie made me cry too lol 😂 😊

[@calebappiah6690]

Gotta stop slapping cheeks 😞

[@GeneralRude]

Caleb Appiah 😢😭

[@degraciangubane480]

@@GeneralRude 😂😂😂

[@nephola815]

At this moment I died 😭

[@08isas]

Amazing 🔥

[@TheLilMagic_]

This is very informative

[@ryzen28]

It sounds like he's scared of taking a risk. When need to risk hurt and pain that's what makes the process so beautiful. Plus he hasn't been with a woman in a long time. I wouldn't be taking his advice because it can make things more complex than they already are!

[@TheLOVEHER87]

I love this talk

[@nimechokanaufisadi5649]

The look that Chris gives Hafiz ...when describes the need for “diversity “😉🤣....

[@rozeynzembi4034]

Love it !

[@DoctorCordelia]

God bless you Ace

[@vanessalandry9763]

I love pass the present. I know how to love the WHOLE of you.

[@trynagee5650]

thanks 4 sharing truth . I'm a poet tooI love skillshsre

[@Shes_eM]

Women need to shared this podcast for all their exes

[@JemimiMathews]

To meet every moment and every experience with always for wonderful memories how about you

[@kuunami]

When I saw the thumbnail I thought yall got Lebron on the show. lol

[@joshuabrown4605]

what they seem to lack understanding of is the fact Unfortunately women value Attention and they equal the amount of attention you give them to how much you love them. if a woman truly desires a man she will be willing to do whatever he would validate her for. So as a man if i want to know if you serious then we have to have sex first, cause think about it. cause lets be honest a lot of times the women has nothing that she can do that will change his life and i value other people but i value myself before that that sounds bad/selfish, but another perceptive is would you rather be at war with the world or yourself. But whatever you do homie give your heart to it and stay strong!

[@princessqueen8560]

😂😂😂😂 so true a lot of people should see this

[@kendrarob3355]

Facts!!!!

[@vanessalandry9763]

You gotta do the WORK to win King/Queen.

[@queencee375]

Of course they would say yea I'm looking for the same thing to get the opportunity to play games with your heart thinking yall on the same page

[@RealLadi228]

Proverbs 27:6

[@jonahblacksmith1]

As a man I don't agree with the notion that men are told not to cry. I feel as though men aren't told when to cry.

[@sharonjohns1686]

You guys are hilarious 😂 😂 😂 🤣

[@Melli510]

Brown skin handsome host are you taken !💘💘!love your laughter

[@Dopehead102]

Did I say free? FREE

[@chinmayparab725]

Stop interrupting the speaker with humor when he is about to say something important

[@FRESHALEX760]

Thank you

[@stevietstevens9384]

Sometimes it takes a long, long, long, long time to grow/heal. Especially, if you come from mindsets or environment/s that didn't teach you these essential things. 'The work' depends on what your experiences are/were. If compounded trauma was experienced then, the work will be more intense, which may lead to other areas of self-development. Such in areas as what therapy can provide or even mentoring which many of our black men and women are lacking. If one gets to an authentic personal journey it's through strength in: spiritual, educational, and emotional intelligence. stevietstevens.wordpress.com Good topic!

[@soystef]

i have a sneaking suspicion that even tho the majority of the comments are from women... there are equally as many men listening (just not commenting..)

[@JemimiMathews]

My Precious Darling lm ready to get t the next pesious level