The Free Black Woman | Unpartnered Unbothered Unchained | Picky Girl Travels Podcast Episode 50

[@pennypenny376]

I met an older Jewish woman at the farmer market who crochets beautifully, grows her own food and rides a badass motorcycle. Loving seeing women living their life so fiercely!

[@sandybrown3879]

A new man friend has no car and is trying to persuade me to travel on his motorbike. I said no way, and felt this was undignified for a grown woman in late 50s. I was looking forward to be driven about in the dry and comfort. I don't have a car anymore. Your comment about a motor bike is making me stop to think. The thought of me clinging on at the back of a bike is not appealing. Now would learning to ride and get my own motorbike be more acceptable to me? Hmmm.

[@Ebthehousesitter]

Unpartnered, Unbothered, and Unchained: THIS! This is the life I want to live.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Do it!!!! Live the life YOU want.

[@melanatedsky6498]

Me too! My ancestors were bound by chains. Why should I live out their trauma now

[@deecee4310]

Me Too

[@kathiwilliamsyoung2871]

WOW I divorced after 25yrs. I should of done it long ago. I Don't Want A man in my 🏠. I get so irritated when my male friends sleeps over and I have to clean up after him. Liberation YES✌💡💕💗✔💯💖

[@KC-qr3wk]

@@melanatedsky6498 this is how I feel - I OWE it to my ancestors to be as free as I can be. I can hear/feel them calling for it.

[@AminaPhilosophy]

“I don’t want a man in my house” 🥰 I found my tribe. Hey ladies!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Hey hey!

[@elenawalker517]

Okay I belong here 🎉

[@inmytravelstoday]

There’s more of us than you think. There are millions of us who live life on our own terms. Glad to see, thanks to the Internet, that now it’s easier to share insights and experiences.

[@inmytravelstoday]

@@shirleygriffin7672 I've lived many years in France, Sweden and Korea. Most recently lived in China and now I'm back in the States. Travel is not a lifestyle for me, but a way of life, it's my life. I love that you've been doing this since the 70's!

[@FindYourFree]

Sure are. My children and I are off living in Brazil and enjoying life. This is how we have been living. No regrets and 0 drama.

[@zandraaina1322]

People think I'm crazy at work when I tell them I am celibate and have a large rubber boyfriend to avoid allowing contaminated spirits into my yoni.

[@andredavis5126]

It's about time we have honest women who admit to not wanting to be wives or mothers

[@tashajourneys]

This is so on point! I recently just quit my job to travel the world and of all places I ran into a former leader in Paris. Long story short he couldn’t just say congratulations. He spent time trying to get me to admit that I quit my job because of unfair treatment…I chose myself. Then after he couldn’t take it on trying to figure out how I could afford to do this. he goes “how old are?”. I go 36…his response is when are you going to factor in marriage and kids!! I went IN!! Mind you he is married and wife was present during this conversation and she gave him a look like why are you asking her this. Just BOTHERED I can do whatever the F I want to do!!!

[@travellady2783]

Mad, because you're not tied down. They literally make me sick.......

[@tashajourneys]

@@travellady2783 exactly!! Smh

[@tashajourneys]

@@AWomansWorth exactly!!!!

[@utamu777]

A lot of men get uncomfortable with women that aren’t living to orbit around a man or his children. You’re basically dangerous and need to be controlled in their eyes.

[@natashadickson4819]

We don't have to explain our choices. The arguments are not worth the stress.

[@tracyardelia]

I already knew when I saw the title that I would love this podcast. Big UP yourself, Sis! You are speaking to me. Y'all be reading my mind. Having a "man in my house full time" is rather "oppressive" for me. I was also married young and now looking back, I see why I am going through this "re-finding self." My 4 adult children are breathing and doing their "thang." I also have 3 grand children. Now is MY TIME. Yes! Liberation!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

No one should be getting married before they're 30!

[@tamloves2598]

Same, me too I knew this was for me

[@sisblk786]

@@AdaliaAborisade I said 33 when I was 12; shoulda listened to that young-girl. 🤭

[@lg7216]

THANK YOU! I'm 48, unpartnered and unchained, AND had the audacity to leave America to create a life in CDMX and abroad. I've known since I was a child that marriage and children were not an aspiration or desire but my friends, family, and strangers would still get my sincere, consistent, and vocal support when they made traditional decisions (marriage and children). My frustration has always been being criticized and not getting the same support from them when I vocalize my non-traditional choices. It's frustrating to not be able to share your happiness and choices and when I do I get silence or subject changes. Thank you for this interview and for showing me I am not alone in my thinking and decisions. @Pickygirltravelstheworld Every time I hear you say " he can bring me tacos and warm my bed every now and then" I smile and think make him a mute and send him my way. :-) You continue to inspire me to live life on my own terms.

[@sisblk786]

Yo! Make him mute?! 🙃🤭 *🌬🧊

[@zakiyahamahad7404]

Finally found my tribe💞💞!! Was living that life before I got married (worst mistake ever) and it tool me YEARS to get back to me after the divorce. Follow your first mind ladies, if you're happy free STAY FREE!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Wise words!

[@WorldwideReview-og3uo]

Yasssssssssssssss!

[@OGfromQueens]

Just got off a solo vacation. When ppl asked me where my husband was I asked them where theirs were. #unbothered #unchained #freerange

[@sisblk786]

I usually reply, "In another dimension, with his other wife." 🤣🤣🤣😂🤣

[@truthhurts...6574]

@@sisblk786 😄 that's a good one. I'm using that one.

[@q.t.gamingfamily]

FINALLY!!!! Between the manosphere, and the divestment community and those who are now "I DO need a man" content creators, I don't belong in ANY of those spaces. I am an independent divorcee who has decided NOT to get remarried. I have given decades of my life to ONE man, 22 of those years as his wife and 6 as his gf prior and when I finally left this man, I stated and have decided that I've given decades to one man and I'M KEEPING THE REST FOR MYSELF! I get people constantly telling me that I don't deserve to be protected because I don't have a husband and only married women deserve to be protected, I was told that I'm going to die alone (as if we have any control over that) and with a bunch of cats, as if I don't like cats. Well, my ex husband has 13 children and was in a relationship and he STILL died alone in a nursing home. I am NOT getting married again, our youngest child is 10 and I'm just focusing on our children and myself and I want to do that whether I die tonight or in 50 years. Regardless, I'm HAPPY!! Is everything PERFECT? no but I'm freakin' happy and why do I need to get married and bring a man into that is beyond me. Thank you for your content and I subscribed.

[@Roads_in_Autumn]

As soon as I saw the title I clicked. I watched it all the way through in one sitting and now it's almost 3 in the morning. You both touched on so many things. I am looked at funny for being childfree but people look at me even more crazy when I say I don't care to be married or even date. The gaslighting is from people is so played out at this point. I'm not afraid of being single. I prefer it. And single for many women isn't really alone. Many of us have meaningful non romantic relationships and support systems.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Exactly! Not having a man does not equal "alone"

[@easiersaidwithmeg]

Preach I could have wrote this pulled straight from my brain every sentence !!!

[@easiersaidwithmeg]

@@Bayo106 billions of people choose single ness

[@sisblk786]

Yes, I have ALWAYS believed it an incredibly brave or ignorant choice to become a mother. Ijs Nothing against Motherhood or the bound between mother & child, it's the whole outside world & ALL THE OTHERS, that a mother has the awesome responsibility & duty to protect her child from...24/7 & only made easier with a like-minded & equally loving & commited co-parent or loving supportive family that truly understands the mission, their role in it & respects all the boundaries. *daunting *exhaustive *subjective *sacred *sovereign *why im child free

[@sharonivy888]

My brother who is married called me all the time because he's bored because his wife who just got promoted works a lot. He doesn't know what to do with himself alone. You can be married and still be lonely. People with quiet, calm spirits can be alone.

[@ameenahameed8874]

I would love 💕 to read her book! Love these conversations 🤩 Being single and without children in my 40s and feeling the societal stigma of that, I love seeing a beautiful Black woman confidently embrace the freedom and gifts in that lifestyle ♥️

[@nattygirldred]

I RAN 🏃‍♀️ out and bought her books as quick as I could hit the link. You both were driving ALL the points home. After my divorce (I was married at 24 and divorced at 43) I realized that if I didn’t necessarily want to live apart, I certainly wanted a separate bedroom and bath. I think black men and their expectations aren’t adding up. I don’t believe a black woman should EVER get down on her knees and ask a man to marry her. She can tell him what she expects for her life but if he doesn’t heed her needs then it’s time to RUN 🏃‍♀️🤣

[@sisblk786]

Run, baby run!!! 🤣

[@idarabassey7455]

"Do I want these things I've been told I should want?" That's a whole sermon right here! I cannot tell you how much I appreciated this interview- my sistah friends are so reluctant to talk about this as they deal with one dysfunctional dude after the other, while I'm watching and wondering if this is worth this amount of effort...I cracked up when you talked about "paltry patriarchy prizes..." and I'm of Nigerian descent BTW so go figure...lol

[@nicolathompson1211]

This was a great discussion on value add of being un-partnered and unbothered. Look up the statistics on life span of married women vs married men. Marriage really only benefits men.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

that part

[@deeh9563]

Those are literal, demographic facts!!!!

[@melanatedsky6498]

Yeah and they act like its their greatest curse. The joke is on women

[@denisechilds2391]

My Best friend marriage, caused her to have Brain surgery..... Them Ninjas can stay away.... Periodt 💯 At first I wanted to get married, until I saw what my friend went through.....I told GOD, thank you for keeping Denise safe, from danger seen and unseen....Nope I don't want, or desire a husband. 😊❤😊

[@dearjourneyxokamiahmonique]

Fabulous grown grown woman conversation!✨👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I feel seen! 🙌🏾

[@AdaliaAborisade]

That makes me happy

[@chasefasten4120]

🤯I was told my dream from the very beginning, having a husband and a child. When I complained to my mother that my husband was cheating, she accused me of being immature. I had a child with another man who is African and Hausa, assuming he would be the words he advertised. You skipped the part about (some)West African men being physically abusive. I've put this dream in the trash today.

[@ericalilith8248]

Regarding the dangling carrot - That’s exactly it. I refuse to live with another man, even ended my last engagement bc I was no longer happy.

[@tamloves2598]

Yes yes and yes, definitely buying this book. Took me until I was today years old, to enjoy being with myself. Adalia and Keturah thank you 😊

[@AdaliaAborisade]

You're so welcome!

[@FindYourFree]

This hit home. I started living globally 22 years ago and 2 children and 15 countries later, I am still at it, children along with me. Currently living in total peace in Brazil..I love my life and don't feel anything missing just because I have opted out of pining for partnership and marriage. I decided my autonomy was the number one priority a long time ago..No regrets

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Right on!!! OAN: I'd love to have you on to talk about life in Brazil. If you're interested shoot me an email [infoATpickygirltravelstheworldDOTcom]

[@FindYourFree]

@@AdaliaAborisade Ok sis. thank you for that invite. I will be in touch

[@GrowEvolve78]

I have always... ALWAYS wanted a together but live apart marriage. Always. I've gotten duped and lived with a few partners. I don't enjoy it. I don't want to do that anymore. I love this episode!!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

I understand completely

[@adeadekanmbi502]

I thoroughly enjoyed this interview. It's good to be in company of like minded black women

[@TheSepia1]

I feel seen. I feel heard. I feel understood & I feel like crying. Every Word said in this video. Every Single Word. Thanku ♥️♥️♥️

[@AdaliaAborisade]

You are so welcome sis!

[@hmarshall2682]

I had the pleasure of meeting Keturah at her "No Thanks" book signing at Howard University. Her book was so timely for me! I only wish I would have gotten a hold of it sooner.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

How awesome!

[@one800flyguy]

I love this show. Thank you. I have been married for 39 years and looking back I gave away a lot of myself and my desires. I am now attempting to recapture those dreams. I enjoy being alone in my house and can’t wait for him to go out on errands etc. I travel alone because it’s not something that he’s interested in. I’m quite content to do this and will continue to do so. I have grown children and i feel i have a conversation i need to have with them about this. Thanks again and blessings.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

You are so welcome

[@rose4u111]

Great conversation. I like, Adalia, married at age 19. I stayed married for 13 years, and I never had children. I experienced exactly what y’all are speaking on…thankfully, I am determined to enjoy my life going forward, single and unbothered.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@Marie_765]

I read her book!!! So good, if I remember recorrectly she is a practicing Buddhist. Her book was one of the reasons why I stopped having to crush the age number to pursue my career or to have a baby.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Yes she is. She'll love hearing that her book made such an impact.

[@angelar.5683]

Omg! I was literally just thinking about this today. As a 32 yo doing well for myself Black woman, I literally don't have to be coupled. I get the opportunity to date in a way that has historically been reserved for men only. And I feel like no one around me gets it... This video and this woman is exactly what I needed and didn't even realize.. to feel understood 😩🙌🏾

[@AdaliaAborisade]

So glad you found this episode!!!!

[@LifeAfter50withTerree]

Listen 😊 I haven’t watched this all the way but the title alone is 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Women are living their best stress-free lives and I am here for it.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

yes indeed!

[@tamrayoung6045]

I truly thank you for this episode of the Podcast; this resonated with me so much. I've always known, since the age of 10, that I've never wanted children or to get married. I said I would choose marriage over children because at least I could walk away from a marriage. I never had a real interest in either. I have happiness for people who want that life, it just never appealed to me. I didn't get the point. I told, a now ex-boyfriend if I were to get married we would have to live in separate home. His response was one of wtf? He thought I was crazy. I explained to him this is the only way this is gonna work for me. Anything else would put the nail in the marriage before it can even began. My friends thought i was crazy when I shared the feelings. All I've ever wanted, in my life, is to be freefinancially, job free and freedom what feels right to me. At 52, turning 53 in 3 months, I have no regrets. I enjoy having my own agency and doing what makes me me. I made my initial comment before I got through the video, but I just want to add she was saying some things right there when she said," I know a lot of people but I don't know anyone as cool as me." That brought a smile to my face. I always said I like me a whole lot so I'm good spending a lot of time alone. Like her, I know some cool people, but I don't like anybody more than I like myself.

[@zakiyahamahad7404]

100% and happy soon to be birthday!

[@sisblk786]

Yes, I am the coolest person I know also and 😏 am constantly offended by ppl who steal my time away from me. 😎 *that whole part *i coulda had a v8 *fiftyish & fierce

[@BillieHoliday-qj6fz]

❤

[@BillieHoliday-qj6fz]

❤

[@heyitsTonya]

This holds so many revelations!!!! I never have been able to understand why it is so hard for a man to simply be a decent human being and some who is enjoyable to be around.... It's just mind boggling to me.

[@kellimccallum7595]

This episode is fantastic and right on target. I have had men tell me I'm intimidating for the same reasons she pointed on...reasons that are truly about making sure I'm a whole person and self sufficient. I would love partnership, but not at the expense of shrinking myself or raising a "grown man"! I'd rather be single then to give myself away in such a way. This was fire, Adalia! Thank you!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Well said!

[@ExpressionsofAwakening]

Haha "raising a grown man" I heard the expression but so funny because so much my experience.

[@tiffanyyisrael7989]

I'm a 37 year old woman and it has always made me shake my head at how desperate women have been to get and keep a man over the past couple of decades. Often times, these men weren't even providing financially or building anything of value to bring to the table, now we have nothing but generations of people in our community with no generational wealth, all because of the desperation of past generations to pick anybody, just anybody, as long as they have a man. 🥴 At 18, 19 and 20 years old, you don't even know who you are yet, why have kids?

[@efreeholdings1575]

Coming back to this, I love this conversation!!!!!! Pick mes get picked to be trampled on, financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically abused.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Many believe that is just part of the game 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@sisblk786]

For too many, that is the cycle; forgive, sleep, repeat.

[@aintnobodycomingtoseeyouotis]

Before video starts IMMEDIATELY LIKE AND COMMENT! 😍😍

[@joannegodley6967]

Hi, That was one of the best podcast episodes, period. I immediately shared it with my daughter and sister-two unchained and unbothered free women!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Wow, thank you for sharing!

[@kathyhampton_wellandaware]

As a child, I said I would never get married and have children after seeing my parents and others were the most miserable people. Society around me over rode those thoughts and I did what I said I wouldn’t do. My spirit said one thing but I did another. Since being uncoupled, I’m sooooo free and yes unbothered!!! Got to get the book. Such a great podcast.

[@sisblk786]

You're not alone. May we neva betray ourselves again. 🥂🍾🥳

[@JoyRoute]

Just give me a good Vacation Bae every now and again. Otherwise I will keep it moving. #unapologetic! Periodt!

[@wildunruly2622]

What a JUICY conversation! Whew! LOVE this. Thank you♡

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Our pleasure!

[@stephaniearthur1136]

I am 15min in and I am shouting at the screen. I love this conversation. Let Black women just be free...Beyonce's "Church Girl" perfectly defines what a lot of us ...especially Gen X, who were burdened with all of the respectability politics and shaming totally feel...."no one can judge me BUT me...I was born free."

[@AnalystAyi]

As a soon to be divorcée, I have literally had these same thoughts and never knew anyone else thought like me! Let me say this is a breath of fresh air!!!! I am a mother of 2 with a great career, home that I bought and I honestly feel like I am better alone but with intermittent dating experiences, good friends and just my lovely children! I have done a lot of healing and work, I have stopped being codependent, I no longer romanticize marriage. I don’t want to be responsible for a grown man and do anything for them/him unless it’s from the goodness of my heart! I always thought, if I work and do all I do what else can he give? I mean if both people are working, both people should be responsible for everything else but as you ladies have said these men literally have to rely on women as their caretakers or mothers for good home cooked meals, keeping up with appointments! Of course not all men are this way bc I know a single father who does an amazing job with his children and the ex wife is a deadbeat! But majority of our black men think a woman should be privileged to be with them. I honestly don’t want to compromise anymore, I don’t want to do anything, but for once relax and enjoy people as they come and go.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

We out here!

[@AnalystAyi]

@@AdaliaAborisade I’m so happy to know that ! Time to travel, live life stress free and at peace!

[@gemini8620]

Perfectly said!

[@ibabechanel]

Not oUr bLaCk mEn.

[@m.mckines6354]

Really appreciate this conversation. It is such a reality for most Black Women who CHOOSE an unpartnered and childless lifestyle (temporary or long-term). Appreciate the confirmation that "I am not crazy" for having no desire to buy into these negative scripts or systems that weaponize Black Women's singleness against them.

[@peacebrooks4230]

This resonated with me so much! I’m 59 and people are still trying to push a love relationship on me. OmG 😳 the side eye when I tell people I’m happy being single. My life is very full and I’m loving it!

[@lalathebougiebohemian617]

This was such a dynamic conversation. I’m a woman who definitely wants to be partnered, but I just love being FREE to decide when that happens and what that looks like for me. And being about to be unbothered while I’m unpartnered is such a great thing! Thanks for introducing keturah to those of us who didn’t know her!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Absolutely!!

[@adeliza]

I just love this discussion so much, and the anecdote about Ms Bernadine. LOL! Yes! I remember telling my mom a few years ago I would prefer to have my own bedroom in any house I share with a man (I’ve always been a light sleeper and have trouble sleeping well, and it’s a no for me with snoring 🙅🏿‍♀️), and she was so APPALLED by the idea of me not sharing a bed with a partner 😂😂 she was shook! Which i think is so funny now because honestly, at the time, I actually was thinking I’d rather have my own house separate from the manz 🤣 whew. Thank you, it’s nice to be seen in these conversations.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Cohabitation is a deal breaker for me

[@inmytravelstoday]

Nothing wrong with sleeping separately. I need my sleep and so does my husband.

[@smilesforu92]

I want my own room too and I’m 30! We can have sleep overs 🙃 I’m going to start saying that I’m a light sleeper; that seems to be more easier for people to digest rather than just saying because I want to lol

[@AminaPhilosophy]

I found my tribe🥰 The thought sharing a bed with a man has literally been a source of anxiety for me. I absolutely refuse.

[@AminaPhilosophy]

Architects seriously need to design homes with 2 premium bedrooms with separate closets, separate restrooms and conjoined showers. The old fashioned design is the reason for divorces.

[@XcellsiorConsulting0305]

Alone but not lonely. You notice that once a couple gets divorced who remarry first? It is the man because my ex married pretty fast after my divorce, I never remarried. I like my company a man is like another child; and I don’t need another child. My life is less stressful.

[@deeh9563]

WELLLLL! Let the church say Amen! As someone who never married, nor had kids, I’m good! Folks still look at me like I’m a little crazy, even when they’re on their 2nd or 3rd marriage with multiple kids in & out of wedlock (with most of those “folks” being men, tryna holler to be honest). But I have had a great life, with great adventures. And when it comes to a partner - being a woman, I can get my physical needs met - but I am not pressed about “finding a man” at this point in my life. But if I happen to come across one that show a commitment on how we’re mutually going to ADD to each others’ lives in a way that I don’t have to SHRINK in any way, I’m down to be partnered. Oh yeah, and he’s got to be AT LEAST as interesting as I am, because looking back, I’ve been in relationships where I was clearly the most interesting person in it. And I just wanna be like Frida Kahlo… you can live next door! Lol.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

💯

[@sisblk786]

On Frida...a hanger, tootbrush & robe...it's enough. *im being gracious

[@nancy3477]

Thank you for sharing this conversation. I think it is incredibly important for women to be unapologetic in the choices they make regarding how they want to live their lives, especially when it is not hurting anyone else.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

💯💯

[@justpassingthrough7437]

Adalia, your channel is incredible! Thank you for this video and every other one!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

You are so welcome! I'm glad you're enjoying my content.

[@SomeRandomBlackWoman]

I agree with her point at 25:08 but I think it should be rephrased that MEN have not allowed other men the opportunity to be their full selves. Yes, women have regurgitated the narrative, but it was men who created it and still men who uphold this structure. Men govern themselves according to other men. This is on them 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@ericalilith8248]

Love this. I have only child and we’re moving out of the country to live our best lives.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

congratulations!!!!!

[@shewoke9268]

I plan to do this as well

[@DrJackisChannel]

This was a great video. I’m glad to have found it. Great to know I am not alone in my thinking. I’ve believed these things for years and was miserable in my marriage. I’m much more prosperous, whole and at peace as an unattached woman. Thank you for sharing

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Thank you for watching

[@4u2cre8]

"...a lot of them are not interested in partners. They're interested in caretakers." Whew. An entire word. I would also add armpieces. Gotta stay pretty while taking care of them.🙄

[@AdaliaAborisade]

One of the reasons I dated younger after divorcing was because the men my age or older were looking for someone to take care of them and I'm out of that business

[@mjaye1712]

This is spot on for me. I knew in childhood that I did not want children. I also did not want a traditional marriage, as defined by my working-class, church-centered culture. I enjoy living a life that works for me.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@aseeyahrhinesmith1413]

Totally enjoyed this conversation. I thank both of you ladies for teaching the younger generation about choices. Keep it up

[@hrhsophiathefirst4060]

I always knew I did not want children, everyone said I would change my mind but after watching my mother's struggle and frankly antagonistic relationship with her children, I knew that was not for me. I broke up with people and re-married because of it and at the age of 35 tried to get a hysterectomy due to very painful and heavy periods but my liberal Dr. thought it was too early and I may "change my mind." Also insurance does not cover it until after 40! At the age of 38 we discovered I had aggressively and rapidly growing fibroids that meant I needed that hysterectomy as one was dangerously close to my kidney. At the appointment to discuss options I choose the partial hysterectomy and again my "liberal" Dr. wondered if I wanted to discuss it with my husband! I said as soon as my uterus is his property he can have a say in the decision. I booked the surgery and later that evening told my husband he would need to take time off as I was doing this. He immediately asked for the time, location etc. At no point did it occur to him to police my body. He still annoys me sometimes, like is it that hard to take off shoes? but I can stand him most days. If that day comes when I no longer can then he will go the way of the useless uterus. Martyrdom is over-rated and does not look good on me. Great episode as always.

[@wellergurl]

😭😭😭Girrrllllll....YASSSSSSSSS!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@sisblk786]

All the stories generated from this podcast are so powerful & relatable; witnessing struggling mothers &/or unbothered dead-beat husbands & fathers (or vice versa) ought to give EVERY women of child-bearing age...serious PAUSE; motherhood just like marriage. Imho "It is therefore, not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, soberly and in the fear of God." *wrap it up

[@MsKim510]

Such a rich and timely conversation. Thank you! 🙏🏾 💜

[@AdaliaAborisade]

You are so welcome

[@tashajourneys]

Hype off the title alone!!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

😁

[@ashpiredliving]

Last comment lol... U be having the best interviews.. beautiful bold women yasss

[@AdaliaAborisade]

😊 thank you

[@nadas.5643]

FINALLY someone understands me! I am 40 no children never married. I just purchased a condo and I'm headed to Belize for 12 days at Christmas. I do desire to be married and have children. But I do no desire slavery or to be a single mother. I believe that id WE decide to have a child and WE have to to work then WE should share the load. I'm not about to do all the work. Which is why I do not have kids or a husband 🤷🏾‍♀️. I prefer to be able to do what I want when I want.

[@ericadinerotv]

ALL OF THIS!!! this resonates with me soo much

[@evolutionindisguise9499]

I'm a gemini too. And I can relate to everything said on this show! I also got married early 20s to a Kenyan man. Sweetest man ever. I agree about them west africans tho...hell naw! But after being married 8 years and so young, now at 35 still no kids and don't think I want them or marriage again. Glad not alone! Thanks ladies for sharing!

[@tacrewgirl]

I never thought about A Different World like this, but it's so true with how they "tamed" these women. Eek. Great points! Thanks. Looking forward to listening to Keturah's podcast. Lots of great nuggets. Happy that her words are able to help others. Everyone should listen to this. Seriously.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@onnivision6464]

Me neither, but I can see it.

[@sisblk786]

I stopped watching every show that PIGEON-HELD an independent, free-thinking female character. *my 1-woman boycotts are many Side-Bar: R. Kelly was cancelled by me when he penned, "you remind me of my jeep." 🙄

[@lyvlong1733]

Listened to it on Spotify then had to run 🏃‍♀️ to KZbin so I can watch it and see the comments! Awesome thought provoking convo! Another great episode!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Thanks for listening ❤

[@YahsLoveisEnough]

Speaking of Denise on the Cosby show, I thought it was an interesting show when Olivia's mom who was the noncustodial parent was viewed by the Huxtable's for leaving Olivia. It was ground breaking television a woman not being the custodial parent and being ok with it. She married Lt Kendall young too. Lt Kendall's mom was a great character too.

[@ultravioletpisces3666]

47:03 the same man who tells us we will “end up alone” is the same one who will tell us that we are wrong to expect our husband to meet our needs for friendship! I am not lying!! I have seen so many men respond to a woman saying how she felt so alone in her marriage by saying she had the WRONG expectations of a husband.

[@Joycelyn]

I’m only 17 mins in and I already wanna buy the book.

[@ultimateenigma6038]

Much need conversation..I am elated by this! The shaming of the black woman must end. We are sovereign .....we ain't going back to the strip club lol. Bravo ladies!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

The shamers have come out of the woodwork but that's to be expected

[@doyenneself-care9480]

Hi! Love the video ❤️ I’m a remote professional and about to turn 30, recently realizing that I centered my decisions around who I was dating all the time. Every time I made a decision in my past relationships that didnt require me to sacrifice but benefited me, the relationship would end. Even my mother had to point it out, “you notice how every time you have a break up in your life it elevates?” Learning to accept that it should be NORMAL for a woman to be self sufficient and not self sacrificial and it feels great! Thanks again for this podcast! New subie 🥰

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Welcome!

[@nicoletaylor4367]

I feel so seen watching this. I’m literally on the verge of tears. Just subscribed ❤️

[@AdaliaAborisade]

I'm so glad it resonated with you

[@sayyidahthewriter]

I am a whole person looking (or not) for another whole person to love! Thank you!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Absolutely!!

[@denicagilmer7951]

I'm crying happy tears! Thank you so much for this content! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Glad you enjoyed it! You're most welcome.

[@monica421]

WOW!!!! So many gems!

[@monica421]

@@shirleygriffin7672 I am a mom of one, and always always wanted a house full of children (but I’m 40 now, and that ship has definitely sailed for me, I don’t want to have anymore at this stage), but I can relate for sure on the freedom from religion and the desire to never live with a man. Thank you for giving me/us the verbalization and language that has often been difficult to put into clear thoughts and clear words. I really loved the examples with Denise, Whitley, and Nova.

[@monica421]

@@shirleygriffin7672 oh, so sorry Shirley, I just realized you weren’t Keturah; I’m doing too many things at once.

[@DrCrystalHarris]

This was such a powerful and affirming conversation

[@Official_Djimon]

The “Say it with your chest thing” with West Africans is real. I was shocked and shooketh clutching my invisible pearls.

[@gretchenking5952]

I'm a new subscriber to your channel so I'm catching up and binge-watching a lot of episodes. I enjoy all your videos but this one really hit home for me. I'm walking out today with my head held very high as a single, free black woman. THANK YOU!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Welcome to crew! and you're most welcome

[@ashpiredliving]

Soon as I saw the book title.. PURCHASE.. ❤️❤️❤️

[@wendywilson-fall3973]

If you love children, the biggest reward is the children. Even then, many have leave to do it on their own.

[@jenniewilliams1668]

He means "You'll be alone like me". What a deeply moving enjoyable conversation between 2 riveting women. Warm regards Jennie

[@LBellatrix]

So yeah…this is the video that’s turned me into a subscriber. 👍🏾 THANK YOU BOTH for shining the light! I had to hit my 40s before I began to realize there was nothing wrong with me. Hopefully younger generations of women will figure it out sooner than we did. 🙏🏾

[@AlexaGoldSoul]

This was one of the most affirming and soul nourishing conversations I’ve ever heard in my life! I found you Adalia, through Stephanie Perry and subscribed to your channel without hearing a word of your podcast because I trusted her recommendation. I’m so glad that I did that!! My soul led me to this and I’m following and listening to these convos and more seeing myself and where my life is taking me!! I’m so grateful to be Black, a Woman and Free 🥰🙏🏽❤️🙌🏽✨✨✨✨

[@AdaliaAborisade]

I'm so glad this resonated with you ❤

[@celesterae2154]

Only one word needed: YES

[@tonyetheselfcaremaven]

This was such a POWERFUL conversation!! More women need to wake up and reclaim their whole selves.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

🙌🏾

[@mommanaturalista4256]

I absolutely loved this conversation!

[@theresabrooks2614]

Love love love this title: This is Where I presently reside🥰🥰🥰

[@legacyholistichealth]

Lissteeennnnn! My heart goes out to married women who stay in situations and resonate with this message. It feels so good to be unbothered and unattached!

[@artavialineszy9453]

I brought the book for my daughter and I. I can’t wait for us to read it.

[@idarabassey7455]

Your daughter is so blessed to have a Mom like you who is exposing her to these ideas at a young age. It's empowering to realize that societal constructs are not necessarily mandates on how to live. Best wishes to you both!

[@ourexoduslife]

My kids told me that I was the primary parent and that's why they ask me and not their dads

[@PearlPugh]

Great show, very thought provoking.

[@ashantimahdi1464]

Great insight ❤ I'm happy with how my life choicest turned out, I wouldn't change a thing. But it is important for young girls &' women to know that it is their birthright to be free, free to explore life as an adventurous, exploratiive, gift! Teach Goddesses, Teach!!!! 😍

[@AdaliaAborisade]

well said!

[@ashantimahdi1464]

@@AdaliaAborisade Thanks Beautiful One. 😘

[@Alinagaeta]

Always a pleasure listening to you and your fabulous guests.

[@toyshiajohnson8604]

I enjoyed this conversation…not letting life happen to you…..

[@AdaliaAborisade]

all things with intentionality

[@enyahargett4897]

Solo polyamory is the next wave…I’d love to hear a talk about this topic

[@inmytravelstoday]

Nah, too much work. We're about freedom and living a stress-free life. LOL!

[@AngelaNortonTyler]

Such an inspiring conversation!

[@Kayla-nh5lr]

New subscriber here....I just turned 30 august 31st and its like a light switched on. I use to to want to be in a relationship soo bad in my 20's and it lead me to endlessly look for love/ so called relationships in the wrong places with the wrong type of men. I literally spent a whole decade of my life not doing what I truly wanted, not listening to my womanly intuition, and not setting boundaries. I was abused, misused, taken advantage of by many people and I let it happen. I am know a single mother of a 2 year old boy. I don't have a urge for a romantic relationship or even sex to be honest. I literally just want to be alone and I like being alone. I absolutely hate dating and have removed myself completely from the dating scene. Less stress for me and im more happy. I just want to be a good mother and be the best woman I can be and I dont think me looking for love as far as dating and relationships goes is the right thing to do in my life right now. I have not put myself as a priority and I truly need to do that. I want to be happy and enjoy my life and I really feel in my heart that my future will be brighter.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

You're starting to choose YOU so that means you're on the right path

[@SamriBliss]

Great discussion! Shared this on my channel. 😚

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Thanks for that 🧡

[@enyahargett4897]

Yes, yes and yessssssssss

[@ultravioletpisces3666]

Women aren’t nearly as afraid of being alone as men are of being alone and of women who are not controlled.

[@DrCrystalHarris]

Muchos Gracias señoras. ❤️🙏🏾

[@AdaliaAborisade]

de nada