adrianne lenker - not a lot, just forever (official audio)

[@briand1501]

she's so brave to be so vulnerable, can't even imagine the heartbreak she went through to write something like this

[@fullysickrockstar]

Heartbreak?

[@owenthatcher9902]

@@fullysickrockstar i believe this whole album to be about a relationship that couldnt be understood by anyone but herself and whoever, since ended. prolly me making up some mad backstory in my head though.

[@docwauwau7737]

Well i can lol i mean not lol

[@cheesecake_mp3]

@nuitNo.6what are you even talking about

[@mintepanda9788]

God loves you

[@Ana.Ng143]

“I could be a good mother” hits hard especially when you’re scared to grow up but at the same time can’t imagine living life without someone.

[@GriffinJenningsMusic]

has to be one of the best songwriters alive.

[@edenoliveira4037]

without a doubt

[@rachealthomas3104]

Great lyrics

[@owenthatcher9902]

understands how 2 express how we can all feel

[@inisaiahsfreezer]

absolutely

[@eljones3702]

Hands down

[@Koreoz_]

It is 02:09 on Thursday the 28th of December 2023, and im listening to this song for the first time in my life, i hope someday in the distant future i find this again

[@alfonsoparrado3112]

wtf are you saying bro

[@tatejensen7892]

Bro just put it on a playlist damn

[@mnimooni]

@@tatejensen7892LOL

[@staaardustt]

reminder to come back to this song

[@enobywei1357]

​@@alfonsoparrado3112 chillout I lose my favorite songs too

[@noturlucas]

When the song is sad but the meaning is even sadder 😭

[@swizzycake]

what does it mean?

[@Zaneexists]

@@swizzycake It's about the singer's love for her partner, the relationship, how it's gone toxic, and how it ends up not working out

[@fourtwenty7590]

@@ZaneexistsI knew it. Now it hurts to listen to this bc it’s true

[@TheDamShirtfrom1924]

yes

[@m4tildasaurus]

@@Zaneexists and also how because they're both women they couldnt have children, and then her ex partner went to marry a man and have a child☹️

[@mayhembunz8888]

“Not a lot just forever” the great intricate story of love summed up.

[@poopoohead-f9h]

How? I don't get it.. not a lot of love? But it lasts forever? How? Not a lot meaning its simple but it lasts forever ? So confused

[@Scarlet_Mirage]

@@poopoohead-f9h I think it’s supposed to mean, you don’t want to spend a lot of time with someone you love, you want to spend all of your time with them. You don’t want to just simply kiss them or hold their hand a lot, you want to do it all the time. Not a lot, just forever. That’s just how I see it tho.

[@poopoohead-f9h]

@@Scarlet_Mirageohh that makes a lot more sense

[@floating_goblin]

@@Scarlet_Mirage I also see it as an ironic statement. "I don't want a lot, just, y'know... forever."

[@LateNightRewrites]

​@floating_goblin alternatively, my read on it was like our days our both endless and numbered (shout out iron and wine's "our endless numbered days") They're endless to us because it's all we'll ever know. They're numbered (obviously) and in the vast stream of time they are just a brief moment. So while we are only here a short time ("not a lot"), a geniune love lasts forever in our perspective Brb gonna go have an existential crisis real quick ​@@floating_goblin

[@32123ABCBA]

I miss my mom and shes down stairs rn laughing at ig reels

[@stargirl8465]

That’s love, how beautiful is it?

[@zyrahramz6070]

Relatable ahh

[@maryam._xvv]

ugh

[@meaganhruby9712]

You’re so real for this 😭😭

[@jackkolnerhoeck8210]

Go Dawn and hug her

[@Aleyah3112]

Couldn’t even smile to this! Started sobbing IMMEDIATELY! Clean up isle my face and pillow! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤😂😂😂

[@4ngels.s0ng]

help the emojissss😭

[@beingjaden]

cool

[@6_cc]

my honest reaction to this song

[@sarahpayne-n2m]

i love this i hate people saying "clean up on isle my wrists" i hope ur ok tho

[@sashamartinez-hx6nf]

Literally me😅

[@marceloadelar]

I cried the first time I heard it. Absolute sublime.

[@Yawpism]

I cry every time 🥰

[@silventprincess]

in another lifetime, i will find you. i won’t hurt you , i’ll do everything right. i will love you like i’m breathing and show you how much you deserve

[@lal_identity_v9478]

I m so sorry and i hope you will find her / him

[@mwuahahahu]

me too, i love and miss you chloe. im sorry

[@HopelessNecromancer]

I can’t begin to describe how sad this song makes me

[@devynnleo]

same

[@amelia-hx8xn]

it actually makes me a bit happy. the melancholy nature of the song is beautiful.

[@madiconti777]

when I first heard this song, I cried for days every time I even thought about it. the way this song makes makes my soul hurt is unmatched and i feel like clawing into myself and cleaving out whatever is inside anytime I even think it. it has touched me so much that i have to push it down and away because if I think about it too long i cannot stop. this is the most emotion a song has ever evoked out of me and it’s incredible and you are so talented and its so beautiful but i can never listen to this again because i will spend the rest of my life in tears

[@devynnleo]

these comments make me feel a bit better about feeling sad everytime i hear this song

[@beautifullykayla]

You should consider being a writer

[@JesseM-k8h]

womp womp

[@madix3333]

​@@JesseM-k8h I hope your parents say that at your funeral.

[@glamshined]

Yapper

[@luuttwp]

"I could be a good mother And i wanna be your wife" I died in that part

[@zuziesreturn]

possibly the best songwriter of our generation. everything is so pure and vulnerable. each word just piles on top of one another

[@camilaspe]

truly discovering adrianne lenker and big thief 6 years ago was so beneficial for my outlook on life

[@thatguy7315]

I had the joy of discovering Big Thief when they opened for The National in Asheville NC in May of 2018. I went up there with my best friend and we drove 3 hours for a concert that will stick with me until I die. Their live rendition of Mary was amazing and I still get goosebumps thinking about it

[@estefipacheco2326]

I heard this song two years ago... With another profile, another friends, another life. Hearing now feels like been looking one old picture, smelling like old book pages, knowing it all pass. Cause time made it all pass. I'm so glad to find this song again, made it part of my life again. Lovely.

[@I.love_lily97]

Through your eyes I see A smile you bring to me To your joy, I tether Not a lot, just forever Intertwined, sewn together Like the rock bears the weather Not a lot, just forever My dog barks wildly To protect my infancy From my ex-believer And I try to calm the wolf To remind her I am both Still she tears at my sweater Not a lot, just forever Intertwined, sewn together As the wren sheds her feather Not a lot, just forever And your dearest fantasy Is to grow a baby in me I could be a good mother And I wanna be your wife So I hold you to my knife And I steal your letter Not a lot, just forever Intertwine some together As the rock bears the weather Not a lot, just forever So I bash around the house And the poison stains my mouth She comes, I let her And we share a paradise And I roll them once or twice Can't get much better Not a lot, just forever Intertwined, sewn together As the rock bears the weather Not a lot, just forever Not a lot, just forever Intertwined, sewn together As the wren bares her feathers Not a lot, just forever

[@mopeyd1654]

Ugh ily

[@I.love_lily97]

@@mopeyd1654i love you 🤭

[@ash-x7u]

im crying from these words.

[@zeusm9398]

🩵

[@sarahb4934]

Saw this on an edit of Drake Bell and Amanda Bynes as kids together. I’ve been crying ever since. It was the moment “Quiet on Set” truly hit me.

[@swmqyh]

"intertwined sewn together" always makes me cry like one time I hear this song and that part hit me and I did cry in a public transport

[@HictionaryYT]

this is quite possibly one of the most beautiful songs ever written

[@JadaLives]

for me lately, this song reminds me thats time flies, too fast infact, and it feels like im running out of it completely. I’ve been so wrapped up in teenage life, whether it be boys, social media, or how i view myself. I haven’t even taken a second to realized how much my siblings have grown, or how stressed my mom has been at work, or how my brother’s a marine now.. i wish they could all live forever, but the cold but beautiful truth is, nothing lasts forever. I want to start living my life knowing this, living by this. Do everything with love, tell the people you love how much they mean to you.. or not, the time’ll pass anyway

[@SoledadB.]

Id you think like this you will get anxity for the future, just take things slow and when you can slow down to think and take care of your self and other

[@Sethsm1]

The guitar part is so beautiful. The part at 0:14 that repeats throughout the song feels like genuine heartbreak coming into focus for a moment, like it's difficult to stay with for any longer.

[@zacstaffiere]

beautifully said

[@zeocit]

@@zacstaffiere indeed

[@rooned]

idk why but "she comes, i let her" at 2:47 hits me so hard

[@H3LL_BILLY]

Real

[@ilovemerylstreep73]

Full body chills

[@madisonjay8008]

I know this isn't exactly what this song is about, but all throughout my life I've been connected to cats, and right now I have my own cat, he's my baby, my happiness. Your lyrics "intertwined, sewn together" really made me feel something. my mother's cat, also my childhood cat is very old and I know I don't have much time left, so I got your lyrics tattooed in a heart with a cat paw on my shoulder, as big as I could afford at the time. Thank you

[@keorinkoluexl6365]

The memories we share with all those we truly love aren't a lot, they just last forever

[@angel.p0rtal]

this is how my soul sounds

[@DdwagWestman]

Can't get over the fact that when people pass away you can never hug them or speak to them or smile again They're just gone

[@akimitsu-gz1ub]

i don’t know what to do anymore.

I want this to play at my funeral.

[@Xoxoloveriver]

I have cried many times to this song. The way she describes the love she has for the other person and how they both mutually feel that way makes me feel strangely sad. Really brings out an emotion in my that I didn’t know existed till now.

[@Koshirozation]

lots of dog mentioning on this album, wonderful

[@devontejonvireclark]

Shouts out Alex G

[@shadyrx2]

@@devontejonvireclark people to come p

[@-Jean.The.Bean-]

I noticed that! I wonder why?

[@CloverLily662]

I just keep listening to this over and over and over and crying so hard I don’t know what it is

[@TheBandSenesce]

I have never had the pleasure to meet Adrianne in person. I barely know a little bit about her, but to me it feels like nobody else could have written something so pure like this.

[@alfonsoparrado3112]

clearly you've never heard of Elliott Smith

[@zzslippin8829]

@@alfonsoparrado3112 what songs from him would u recommend

[@alfonsoparrado3112]

Between the bars, alameda, 2:45 am, Twilight, no name #1. There are so many!@@zzslippin8829

[@militaryevents107]

@@zzslippin8829For beginners- Between the bars, Say Yes, Angeles and Waltz #2 if you like them check out Somebody that I used to know and Needle in the hay - He has inspired so many artists to make music (all of boygenius, Adriane, frank ocean ect)

[@cancelledmoomin]

hearing her sing ‘not a lot, just forever’ makes me think about how one day i’ll have to live without my dogs and it makes me cry every time

[@Yawpism]

I cry every time I hear this song.

[@Yawpism]

""

[@maliyahHofer]

its okay me to

[@4ngels.s0ng]

real

[@octa-]

i feel touchstarved. i dont know why. i feel selfish for wanting love. am i really that selfish? do i really deserve love? i mean, it wouldnt hurt to give someone some love, would it? i just want someone to intertwine my hands with theirs.

[@celine-ux6qw]

it’s not selfish, and it’ll happen in due time, trust this earth 🍓

[@ferris_wheel6935]

It is simply human to want love my friend. You will find it one day, but until it comes, it is important to find love for yourself within, and to grow yourself to be the best you can be. I may be a stranger, but I have understood how you feel before, and still remember it. Things will get better my friend 🤍

[@WhoIsShe4]

"And your dearest fantasy Is to grow a baby in me I could be a good mother" Hits really hard when all you want in life is to have a happy small family with the love of your life but were diagnosed as infertile at such a young age and now all you are is scared of growing up.

[@anabell_lee]

you will have your baby, never stop believing 🫂❤

[@smileyg0th]

I’m sixteen. My boyfriend and I are on a break, regarding our relationship, right now. I think of him every time I hear this song. He’s a sweetheart. We’re intertwined and sewn together.

[@ChainSmokinWithMom]

Get your boyfriend back. Nothing good comes from a break. Trust me. Good luck I wish you the best!

[@spaceboye9343]

How're you doing? Better now I hope?

[@smileyg0th]

@@spaceboye9343 I’m with someone different. I realized said “boyfriend” was great for me and I’m with the sweetest boy ever now

[@Moncoeuresttien]

same girl but i can't forget it and replace it

[@HopelessLoser418]

Holy shit, the same thing is going on with me rn, except I’m 18

[@JohnMarstonOfficial]

"my dear Arthur"

[@pweebles]

I'm relistening to this song for probably the thousandth time at 1:26 in the morning on December 1st. This song has done so much for me and yet so little, this song is so beautiful for a multitude of reasons but the main thing that gets me is how innocent it sounds with how deep the song truly is. Adrianne Lenker, the woman that you are, thank you for your album 'songs'.

[@johnentwistle952]

what a record.. it's a perfect fit for my top 10 acoustics ever

[@oliviaann9946]

This made me cry the first time I heard it. Favourite song on Songs.

[@Ruby-eq1qg]

1:21-1:30 that recurring melody is one of the most things i've ever heard

[@morganowens6607]

It is 11:12 AM on Friday March 1st 2024. I'm listening to this song for the very first time. It's beautiful. I'm a different person right now then I'll ever be. I turned 16 this year. I hope you have an amazing day.

[@lal_identity_v9478]

I love you so much

[@br1I]

hope you had a wholesome 16th birthday!! ur so sweet, I hope we can make everyday an amazing day

[@MariGhibli]

That’s my birthday !

[@leonorromao9523]

i cry every time i listen to this, i wish one day i'll be a mother, and be a better version of my mom. this song is every thing to me, i listen to it when i'm sad, happy, at school, depresed in my room, before sleep, when i wake up, this song is my life. i love you adrianne Lenker.

[@Nat-bq3kb]

this is my favorite song ever. it's gotten me through so much in the past year.

[@wrensworldofficial]

"This song is just about a heartbreak." No, it's the feeling that comes with the last day of school. It seems happy but it feels like giving everything you worked for up, Every single year.

[@adrian.bordones]

After a month playing games with my 2 friends, one of them just touched my heart with his laugh, ruined humor and way to empathize. Discord help us to talk often. I thought I would never find someone to love or to feel loved by someone after a break, longdistance relationship with someone very different from me, but I learned so much things thanks to her. I prefered to say to to my friend I felt love, and not just friendship between us... She felt the same. I think you just have to give yourself a chance and be grateful about your past and keep walking, love, smile, feel you're loved, make someone smile. Don't get stuck! ❤

[@adrian.bordones]

After 2 months, I realize I didnt get rid of my ex (longdistance relationship) so I hurt this girl I met, prolly someone who would be the best person I have ever met, pure and genuine personality with the same humor as me, but it was my fault, it wasn't the time, cause never is the right time to do something, you just take the risk, and I lost her. Now I'm alone, focusing in me and my studies, but each day feeling I have anymore strong feelings to my ex who just played with me, but I think thats something I deserved by not having some teenager love, cause I could say she wasnt mature as I thought having my same age, but it was love in some way, even if she was too different from me.

[@peacefulstormm]

I miss my dad’s best friend. Sometimes at night, I catch myself crying about him. I miss him so much. I really wish he was still here, so he could watch me grow up, to watch me progress. I was hoping he could watch me when i started high school but he isn’t here. I miss you, Shep. I love you so much. I hope you’re doing okay up in heaven, just know you mean so much to me. 💗

[@beatrix3170]

This song sounds like a warm hug from someone or something who understands me deeply in a way that I wouldn’t know how to describe with words or any kind of communication. I appreciate this piece of work with all of my heart.

[@nathanwilliamsmusic1746]

Just can't really describe in words how good this is...

[@MeganMaloney-im8cr]

This song makes me feel something different... like a real story telling of the love through my eyes and my life. It brings out raw emotions, and the lyrics are beautifully put! Such a outstanding piece of art this song is :)❤

[@julianbleh]

This is one of a kind, can never and will never be replaced.

[@chloeelaine5959]

This is next level writing abilities. I mean pure poetry, pure emotion, absolute heart break and vulnerability.

[@particularshadeofgreen2561]

the love of my life dumped me a week ago, i used to think of her when i listened to this. now it feels bitter listening

[@riley8955]

how are you feeling about it now? you dont have to answer but im curious; i was broken up with 10 months ago

[@Hshshdfb]

​@@riley8955hope you guys are doing ok.

[@emudownes9199]

Sorry I'm a year late but I really hope your better now

[@Emalem]

Adriannes songs are so perfect in the fact that you can be crying your eyes out to it at one point, then dancing around your room to it, then staring into the distance, serenading yourself with it, feel at peace with it, feel empty with it, ANYTHING

[@jessemelancholy]

Adrianne Lenker is just something else

[@izzie-may]

I miss my mom She is a single mother and raised me for most my life, and I watched drugs and alcohol rip her apart. Yesterday night she said I was dead to her because she has some messed up ideas of who I am. I wish her the best but I know I can’t save her.

[@SoledadB.]

Try put her to terapy

[@MarcusBrandish]

I’m so sorry to hear about your experience I hope that you receive nothing but the best life can give you and I pray that fate is good to you your an extremely strong person and I’m proud of you

[@ChickensYT_]

"I could be a good mother" Idk as someone with parental issues and stuff this song makes me think about how I can change as a person and not have to be like them in any way if I don't want to, like my life is mine and I can do whatever I want with it. One day I wanna be a mom, and I wanna do better than my parents ever could. But only time will tell.

[@huh-mx9bd]

I'm sobbing

[@BriannaDenton-fx5et]

I’m convinced sometimes you don’t get to be peaceful. Like ever. And I wanna be. But it’s been years.

[@TanaQz]

i never cry to songs or media but this song hit me in my core and now theres a ball in my throat

[@meowloveeqq3679]

He was a part of my soul, 2 years and I can’t get over him I still feel like throwing up every time i talk to him, still tear up

[@sulaybriseno5129]

this is so sad .

[@kidnow_squidnow]

"we share a paradise, and i roll them once or twice" my god that line is so brilliant

[@wordnchurch7547]

right now about 20 miles from my place out on the horizon i can see the fire raging on, and before this so much was going on in my life i felt so stressed and so occupied i never realized that i havent felt safe in so long, then i heard this song while in a 3 hour walk and kept it on repeat for until i got to work, crying looking at the smoke rise form the mountains far away unsure if i was going to have power today. for the first time in a long time i felt safe, idk it felt like a warm tight hug from a girl id love hopefully one day. damn i dont think ive ever hugged someone before but i imagine its like this vulnerable but protected vibe i feel from this song.

[@Perseyus]

Realizing this song is about motherhood is so bittersweet. “Not a lot, just forever, intertwined, sewn together.” Representing the forever connection between a mother and her child, and how the child is “sewn” inside its mothers womb before birth, but the experience and the overwhelming love a mother feels “re-sowing” her entire life into something new. Like fixing and washing a blanket you cried, bled, laughed, and slept with; a big change, but you needed a new blanket anyway.

[@dadalance]

I could be a good mother

[@Natsume-IrmãDoJorel]

MIIKO PFP

[@JANclipz]

This songs my guilty pleasure as a straight grown ass man

[@Thouxxanbansammy]

This song is so beautiful i cant even explain it

[@aeIiche]

I keep thinking about my boyfriend every time I listen to this song. Yesterday, he told me that he thought about me in everything he saw, and it was so heartwarming to know, because I do that too. I see him in everything I see-the trees, the flowers, even my clothes. I love thinking about him, and I wish he loved thinking about me too. I love you, Jor.

[@atmakeoutcreek]

I've been listening to this for hours on end, it's so beautiful I hope she never stops singing and writing and all this it's so gorgeous and I feel blessed to listen to it

[@Yourfavoritetherian69]

As someone who knows they could never have a kid that came from them because of their sexuality, this song expresses it. Even if I got pregnant by artificial ins3menation, I’m quite terrified of pregnancy. But still, the idea of a little girl or boy being my little girl or boy is tear jerking. Thank you for this song.

[@machinegirIz]

i love adrianne lenker, shes one of the few artists that i can listen to all of her songs and not get bored not even in the slightest. i hope she knows that she's literally changed people's lives bc of her songs, oh to see her perform one day

[@madamemaximoff9838]

I think of him when the sun is about to rise and the sky is that dark blue, when the world is slowly waking up but in this moment everyone is quiet, I’m dealing with a heartbreak I’ve never dealt with before, i feel numb and like I’m homesick and he was my home and i feel so out of place in the world, I miss my home, I miss him

[@kaydencesavedbygrace7]

I love you stranger, & I pray you are doing well & heal from such heartbreak. 😢❤️ I understand the pain.

[@madamemaximoff9838]

@@kaydencesavedbygrace7thank you ❤

[@Tr1ckychess]

1:52 "i could be a good mother" Always breaks my heart...

[@jonarbuckle2490]

Instant tears

[@caleywhite6099]

Very few songs manage to capture the feeling of heartbreak. This is a masterpiece.

[@starksvensk]

"i fantasize about playing this song for you on a road-trip somewhere in the wilderness"

[@liaarakal2130]

first song im hearing of her and wow im in awe

[@louisechambon8674]

this song is sad and happy at the same time, i listen to it when im feeling alone, and also when im really happy, i think this is cool

[@musiconmars1595]

I resonate with this song with every fiber in my being. I yearn for my ears to be touched once more by his voice, to feel the warmth of his love reach my heart. I miss him

[@randomstuffandye]

This is the first time I'm listening to Arianne's music Tuesday the 2nd of May 2023

[@randomstuffandye]

*Adrianne's (oops)

[@beabadoobeismybae]

your songs will always bring me to tears

[@eowynmb]

thank you adrianne lenker for masterfully creating a song that embraces human emotion so lovingly

[@7ove4para5ite]

If i had to relive the times i look back to I would have changed the way I was.

[@natemartin2579]

The last time I spoke to her she showed me song, sometimes I think about the memories we shared. But I’m glad she is no longer apart of my life.

[@monicaandrea5586]

As much as I love how much more recognition Adrianne is getting now I cant help but feel a little sad. Their music was like my beautiful little secret🥺

[@talianiwa]

you’re immensely talented, thank you for sharing your gift

[@MilanaBartko]

Let's all send a prayer to our Lord for all the people affected by Storm Milton in Florida, Quickly spreading. Lord, please be with everyone waiting to be rescued, keep them safe, and bring help to them soon. God, bless each and every person affected by this storm and surround them with Your love, protection, and angels. Let them know there are millions of us out here praying for them and their loved ones. Amen.

[@gabbanataylor2631]

This song is one of the sweetest things I've heard in so long omg

[@jellie_fishh]

what the hell this song makes me UPSET but in a good way

[@aproblematicdesire]

this song is so beautiful it’s insane

[@gracerman176]

i fell in love for the first time this year and it is such an intense feeling it is almost scary. i pray to God i’ll never lose it because i love him with my body and soul:’)

[@maliyahHofer]

This song pulls the truth out of my tears and heart. No song has made me feel this connected and reunited with who I once was. I feel every emotion I have come to know throughout this song. Truely beautiful, thank you.

[@Cows-are-purple]

This song is healing something that was broken a long time ago

[@Slipknotsbiggestfan42069]

Cried my heart out to this song but my eyelashes looked great!

[@bringmesoda]

I remember listening to this song when it was blizzarding out and smoking cigarettes outside, but i was so drunk i didnt care because the alcohol kept me warm. Will never forget it

[@cyberkatmar]

i actually sobbed with literal snot and spit coming out of me to this song

[@MrFrostyi]

Terrible visual for the reader here

[@henrydavisjr1361]

Mississippi Public Broadcasting brought me here. I LOVE it..

[@icystorm9]

Good job Mississippi!

[@pascalewhitney]

I love this song so much...I listen to it all day, I even listen to it when I go to sleep.This song just has something that makes you feel so close to the lyrics, it just bewitches you.

[@lawliet7801]

the video reminds me of what i'd see outside waking up extra early for school with this song being my alarm knowing the heartache was going to be even worse that day

[@sleepy.7238]

I know this is probably not what this song means, but here is how I see it. "Not A lot Just Forever." Means something you have to deal with forever, it may not seem like a lot at the moment, or you may tell yourself this. But it's going to be forever. "Like the rock bears the weather." shows the rock has beared the weather, no matter if it is stormy, or sunny. It always gets through the weather. "When a dog barks wildly, to protect its infentsy" means to the dog is barking wildly, quickly getting defensive to protect its infentsy, something that will always be apart of them. Something that means alot to them. The dog may act on this without even realizing it. Again, I know this probably isnt what it means. But it brings me comfort to think of it this way.

[@breezywolf14]

this is the only reason that makes sense

[@ortezac.5339]

*infancy. That aside...your interpretation seems spot on. And it hit me in the gut, going through something at the moment I'm really hoping would simply pass like all the rest but having a dark feeling it'd stay with me for the rest of my life. Thanks for putting it to words, man. TwT