Aging Gracefully: USA versus FRANCE - Who does it better?

[@rowandowland1391]

As you know when we retired we moved from Australia to Europe. We now live between Italy and France where we enjoy a standard of living that would not be possible if we'd remained in Australia. Here older people are not invisible, they are respected and are encouraged to continue making an important contribution to society. We have just returned from trekking in the Dolomites where the average age of walkers would have been over 60.. b/w M&R

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Sounds glorious!

[@lindadorman2869]

I turned 60 during the pandemic in 2020 when everything was locked down. I stopped coloring my hair, wearing makeup or jewelry, doing my nails and dressing up. 4 years later, I’ve gotten used to looking older and it doesn’t bother me anymore. I love my new grey hair (took over a year to grow in) and invested all the money I’ve saved!

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

That's awesome, Linda ❤️

[@candaceclark4427]

First, it's fabulous that you are headed back to Paris soon. Exciting times for sure. I find this video interesting and have some observations based on my own experience as a soon to be 70 year old woman and retired lawyer, now living in France. I am from CT like Tony and lived there until about age 64/65 when we moved to Florida for my husband's business (loved it in the Tampa Bay Area) for 3 years. We moved to a rural area of the Dordogne almost 3 years ago. What strikes me most about the appearance of 'rural' French women in my age group is that they likely go to the coiffeuse but their hair is gray (and short) so it's a choice they have made. And they care very much about what they wear - dresses to the supermarché, the outdoor marché, out to lunch or even on walks with their dogs. For me, dresses pretty much ended when I retired- the uniform was jeans and a t shirt or sweater. Here in France I have upgraded my tops but still wear jeans unless we are visiting friends, out for dinner, or going to local evening events. And I let my hair grow out and longer about 7 years ago (after retirement) and luckily it is more silver than gray with traces of my original hair color. And French women my age spend a lot of time cleaning and tending to the garden. I do too now given the age and size of the house and yard, etc. Most all houses in my area are seriously old and often large, so maintenance is a big deal. BUT, they all take their time, wherever they are or whatever they are doing - the pace is light years different from my life in the US. I find that I am adapting quite well to the slower, more mindful pace of life here. That said, the irony is that if it weren't for my hard work in the States, I would never have had the wherewithal to retire to the France to truly experience the architecture, the history, the beauty of the countryside, and the beauty of the French language. Sorry for the long ramble. Bon voyage à Paris.

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

No apologies necessary, we love hearing the experience of Americans who have moved to France. It's inspiring. Thank you!

[@pawlieblog7967]

Me too!! Our hard work and good pay in the US helps us save up to retire in style! I’m only a PR hack doing internal communications for employees in corporate organizations, not a lawyer, and even I could afford to retire in France. 😊

[@Irene_Lauretti]

I love watching you talk - - you are so in harmony with each other that is makes me feel good watching you! I am currently about 4 hours from Paris - on the border to Alsace - and the weather here is gorgeous, so I presume it is good in Paris as well! Enjoy!

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Thanks, Irene. We are glad you enjoyed the video. We have been watching the weather and coming from Florida we are looking forward to the cooler weather!

[@dianegriffith3006]

Really enjoyed this discussion. I’m going to Luberon area in May-can’t wait’ happy travels in Paris.

[@dianegriffith3006]

Is your pendant goldfill or gold plate?? The shop doesn’t state from what I could see. Thank you.

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Merci!

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

I'm not sure. I will have to ask them. Apparently the coins are real French francs, but not sure what they're even made of. My necklace has not tarnished at all though and I wear it every day. I also wear the bracelet every day and even shower with it on because once I sized it I found it cumbersome to take off, and it's holding up wonderfully.

[@annapaz4]

Thx so much, KJ and Tony 💗👍 Have a wonderful trip! Enjoy every moment 🇫🇷✈️🎉❤

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Thank you ❤️

[@karenbc99]

Europe has it hands down in all aspects

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

💯

[@jean-lucfrotey7604]

Et surtout les Français! lol

[@nikkiscott4341]

@karenbc99 In the US, there are great differences from one state to another. In Europe, that applies as between countries. Europe is vast. It's not always helpful to generalize, (Finland and Greece, Scotland and Italy, for example).

[@jmarie28]

Your videos are so informative especially given my ongoing obsession with France and particularly Paris. In light of the results of the US presidential election, plus all the other issues our country is facing, I realized that this is the impetus I needed to finally make the decision to leave the US and move to France. With respect to aging gracefully, that’s difficult to do in the multi-billion dollar anti-aging campaign that exists in the US, even for those of us who look and feel much younger than our chronological age. Once I retire in the spring (Yahoo!) I can start making plans to start a new chapter in my life in France. I watched a video yesterday that was presented last May by Adrian Leeds, and again there was so much valuable information to unpack. I look forward to watching your future videos about your experiences moving back to France. Merci beaucoup 🗼

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Congratulations on your retirement in the spring! That is so exciting!! We will definitely keep you posted as things progress on our end and hope you will do the same, as you will most likely be making the move sooner than we will.

[@sandhya6766]

I agree about the cut throat corporate culture in the US. I was extremely successful as technology presales engineer and brought multiple successful clients to the company. However, they just laid me off because it was much easier for them to get a cheaper employee who would do just enough to get things done for them. Luckily, my husband ended up becoming a partner with a startup in France and we are loving our life here. It is a big shift from a cut throat, do not care, you are just a number approach to a caring environment. I would never want to go back to living in the US.

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Where do you live in France? So envious ❤️ We can't wait to live in France.

[@dannysmith2794]

I really appreciate your videos, thank you, Have a nice trip!

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Merci! So glad you enjoy the videos.

[@maryshank7825]

Well…the French have outlawed most chemicals in food and America has not. So right off the bat we’re sicker😩

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Yes, so true! I can eat things in France that I can't eat here in the US because it upsets my stomach.

[@charlotteruse8718]

The differences between how France and the US view the elderly is not exclusively based on specific cultures. It's much more nuanced. There's also a significant economic component which dominates and determines how eveyone is viewed by society, especially the elderly. And since we now live in a transnational world the same views are shared cross-culturally.

[@lisak.9007]

Thank you for a great video! I didn’t see your link in the description for French Franc necklace , but I copied the info down. So excited you are headed back to Paris! Bon Voyage 🛫

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Glad you enjoyed it. I added the link. Thanks for pointing that out.

[@lisak.9007]

@@kjandtonylovefrance No problem 😍

[@LetsChillPage]

Hello from the South of France (Perpignan), 🌞🌴 When I was in my twenties (late 80s, early 90s), I worked at Orly airport for a catering company. After the passengers disembarked, I delivered the meal trays by trolley with trucks adapted to the planes. I also removed the trolleys filled with used trays to bring them back to the catering company before the new passengers boarded. I remember being very shocked the very first time by the makeup of the American flight attendants who welcomed us to receive the trolleys and check the delivery (in any case compared to that of the hostesses of the French airlines) and which seemed very (too much, I should say) forced. With this thick and shiny foundation like wax on the face, the multi-colored cheeks, following the different shades used depending on the high or low parts of the face, the eyes and mouth outrageously made up too. Even their haircut, with the hairspray, seemed fixed for eternity and quite not natural, giving the impression of a helmet for the hair and a thick mask for the face, likely to be removed as such and placed next to it on the nightstand, before going to bed to sleep, and to be able to put it on the same way the next morning😅(sorry ladies, this isn't meant to offend you, but this is yet the impression it gave me). Yes, in France, women seem much more natural, both in terms of hair and makeup. And as a man (maybe also because I am more used to it), I much prefer French makeup and hair. Peace, friends. ☮👈😎

[@ileanamuntean7338]

Yes, even dying your hair is crass among older ladies in France. Accepting your age is normal here (assumer ton âge). I live near Perpignan, too.

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. I (KJ), too, much prefer the French approach to hair and makeup and believe less is better, especially as a woman ages.

[@Belaziraf]

In France, and I dare say almost across the EU, it's difficult to be fired for no reason. In the same mind, you can't quit your job from day to day. Both employees and employers have to respect rules. An employee doesn't need to motivate his decision, but he still have to respect legal notice depending on his position and contract. Employers being quite old school here, you don't easily change job. many HR praise themselves for giving opportunity but if you don't have 10 Master's degree and 60 years experiences as a beginner, you're out 99.99% out of 100. They talk like progressist and modern HR, but in the end, it's all for the buzz. A little nuance. French men do care about appearance. Their requirements are just different and physical attraction is only the introductory step. Conversely, that introductory step can be the inner self. On the point of inner self, I wouldn't use the word beauty. We do speak about beauty for physical appearances, but for inner self, we sometimes use that word while it doesn't fit at all. Talking about inner self, it's difficult to express with words but you can take it as, litterally, your other half or someone close enough. In reality, it's also a lot of self suggestion because you share the same mind or have great time talking about any and everything.

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience ❤️

[@pawlieblog7967]

I do think the aging is more graceful in France than here in the USA. I’m moving to a little town dedicated to writers and writing crafts near Poitiers to pursue my writing and publishing interests. But also because it’s just a more interesting place to live culturally, historically, gastronomically (France in general), and it puts me by train or plane within a couple of hours to major capitals of Europe. I’m looking forward to day trips to brocantes, Bordeaux, Limoges, Poitiers, La Rochelle, and beyond. Paris on weekends now and then, and London, Berlin, Zurich to visit museums and old friends. Compared to a far north suburb in Houston, it will give me a lot of options. But also some quiet retreats when I don’t have the energy to fight the crowds and tourists. And much better weather (we are still in the upper 80s here and it’s Halloween tomorrow). Temperate seasons are a special longing of mine; it’s much easier to get out and walk, take public transit, and enjoy the outdoors without the extreme heat (or cold) of the U.S.

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Sounds glorious ❤️

[@carolmartin4413]

Growing up in the 50's-60's was a way different way of life for average Americans. Today is much closer to the 1890's-1940. I'll stick it out here because my shift is over...but if I was young...I would concentrate on dual language/citizenship with a country that taps into social equality more than the 🇺🇸...

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

❤️

[@rhdrhd3255]

french here: stopping aging is impossible, and procedures are often worst than better Yes natural beauty is often best Dying your hair for a woman is quite normal even in France don't worry it's just a little thing not a procedure But i have to admit i like breast procedure for some woman ( just my experience 😂)

[@dls300]

It's finally here. Have a safe trip! I'm sorry that I haven't e-mailed you lately. I've just had a lot on my mind. I haven't told more than 4 people about my interest in someone. It's just moving very slowly. So, I 'm not sure. Hopefully this changes soon. KJ - I just look washed out with gray hair. Makeup doesn't even help. 😊

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Hi Debby 👋 Yes, it's finally here!! Email whenever it's convenient. No rush. You're in my heart and prayers 🙏 ❤️

[@lauraswihart4816]

Such an honest pair! 💟💟

[@BezzaBezza-l4k]

I’m Australian & on vacation in France at the moment, have been here for nearly 6 weeks. Eye lash extensions are all the rage in Australia (I don’t have them) and they look really odd in France where women go for the natural look. Ripped jeans also are only worn by tourists! I’m 76 and appreciate not feeling invisible like I do at home sometimes!

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience. Enjoy whatever is left of your vacation. I can't wait to be able to stay for a month or longer. That will be glorious ❤️

[@ret4350]

I have never dyed my hair. I am 60 soon to be 61.

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

That's fantastic ❤️

[@kathleenmathews6096]

Men usually have a darker skin tone and that, to me, makes gray hair look better. Hair has been more important to females. Plus women coloring their hair is more acceptable. And, yes, coloring it makes us look younger.

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Yes, true ❤️

[@brigittelacour5055]

I was a dark brunette. I get fed up to dye my hair and chose to stay natural. I have the chance to have 30% of white hair at the time, bright white. With a short cut, it's softer my face and make me look more fit and younger. My hairdresser didn't agree with my choice but when she saw the results, she was estonished ! "Don't dye your hair again " But I must cut my hair every 2-3 months. I was still working as childminder at that time, one of the girl said "how do you succeed to have this shiny silver in your hair" 😂

[@ileanamuntean7338]

Cosmetic surgery is a no-no in France. I mean, it exists but it's rare. Not because the French are intrinsically against it but they are esthetically educated enough to notice that "procedures" can make one look freakish and grotesque, not "younger".

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

I've (KJ) seen great results and terrible results when it comes to surgery. I have definitely had botox and dysport, as well as facials and other skin treatments, but I don't think I would ever be able to let someone cut into my face. It was traumatic for me to have a basal cell removed near my eye recently, but that turned out much better than expected🙏

[@ileanamuntean7338]

@@kjandtonylovefrance They do peelings and plexr, though, I would if I could afford it. Very natural and subtle results.

[@calvinsuede]

Any pics of your grey hair?

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

None that I'm willing to post...lol 😊

[@calvinsuede]

@kjandtonylovefrance hilarious.

[@adriennecruz3843]

Hyper-consumption and over-the--top mass marketing drives alot of US attitudes toward everything including ageing. Luckily France not (yet) hostage to such marketing.

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Hopefully it stays that way 🤞

[@lindadorman2869]

From a practical standpoint, one area America does better than many other countries is… convenience. Here in Chicago, I can get anything delivered to my door or order a rideshare to go somewhere, perform most functions online and my city is flat and walkable. In France and many other countries, it is not so easy to get around or get things done, and very difficult if you have mobility issues. At 64, I’m still able to manage on my own but I worry that it might not be possible 10-15-20 years from now.

[@gregsmythe7705]

I couldn’t help laughing at your comment, no offence. Have you actually been outside the US? You’d be pleasantly surprised to see that everything you just mentioned happens in practically every other western country and some even do it better

[@mlomarechal6877]

Venez en Europe vous seriez étonnée par tous les services qui y sont proposés, et cela depuis très longtemps.

[@Maimitti]

@@mlomarechal6877 oui mais ... les Américains ont tendance à penser que chez eux " EVERYTHING is better, everything is nicer, everything is bigger, evrything is much more and even more ... etc ..." (NO OFFENSE though ! )

[@LetsChillPage]

Hello, Obviously, if you compare a city like Chicago with its 2,746,388 inhabitants to a village lost in the French countryside, yes, you're right. On the other hand, in most large and medium-sized French cities (from 120-150,000 inhabitants, and therefore, much smaller than Chicago), public transport is very easily accessible (most are equipped with modern trams accessible to people with reduced mobility, as are buses that now have retractable ramps for this purpose), you can also have just about anything delivered and there are many shops. Have a pleasant day,

[@JacquelineHart-z1q]

You have clearly had your neck done. You are not aging gracefully or you wouldn’t be dying your hair blonde.

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

lol... I was just telling Tony how wrinkled my neck is, and how it is probably what bothers me the most about my appearance. So, no, I have not had my neck done. 😂 And I never claimed to be aging gracefully. I said my goal is to age gracefully, and I am a work in progress. I believe kindness trumps beauty. Sending much love and kindness your way ❤

[@JacquelineHart-z1q]

@ I’m sorry. That was rude of me to say. You look great! I’m jealous of your nice neck😳😊

[@grace-mz9fp]

Here are a few things you may not know about FRANCE....BY LAW...no employer is allowed to contact their employees on their computer after work day....the baguette is only 1 euro by law....the school kids receive 3 courses of food at lunch....The waiters consider the jobs a career... and your doctor is given a BONUS each year if he is going out of his way in taking care of his patients.

[@kjandtonylovefrance]

Makes us love France even more 🇫🇷❤️🇫🇷❤️

[@rivierarocket]

@@kjandtonylovefrance And you think the above is a good thing. Doctors getting paid off to take care of their patients. What about the Hippocratic Oath? this costs the already failing French healthcare system 300 million per year. Each qualifying doctor will receive almost 5000€ Have you ever seen a doctor's agenda in France. It's completely full. 15 minutes and your out with a prescription and many had out questionable work stoppage pour un "oui et un non". Secondly concerning the contact with employees after work, days of vacations. Let me tell you how this really works. My American wife who in 2002 received her visa through family reunification was in New York waiting to be contacted by the French Consulate in Miami. When she received it she flew down to Miami only to find that the person responsible for issuing her visa had left on vacation. The response at the consulate was ...Too bad. Not an apology just too bad. Fortunately my parents lived in Delray Beach and she was able to stay with them. Constant calling the embassy and she found someone who would issue the visa. My wife is from New York and if you think she is just going to roll over and say "Bof" think again. She found someone finally after a few days who would help her but imagine someone who doesn't understand how the French roll, they would have had to wait until said person came back from vacation. This happens to me sometimes when invoices need to be paid to me and August rolls around. Fortunately I choose my clients carefully and they are responsible people. French people working for American companies that have had responsibility training. They are good responsible people and the accountant on vacation is contacted and I am paid. Doesn't happen with French companies. I work for myself. Always have and I had made up my mind decades ago that I would never work for anyone American, French or other as an employee. In the past I subcontract to a very large German company in France for 14 years and same responsibility. Things have gotten better since I moved to France in 1977 when it was like the Soviet Union here. Not surprising 25% of the voters voted communist. Thank goodness for internet and the demise of the communist party and now we can do most of our admin tasks over the internet and with the advent of AI it speeds things up. But in service industries in France if you have a problem in August or on long 3 day weekends.you will wait. So if have an emergency....Too bad for you. Day trippers don't realize there are two sides to the coin because they don't live here.. Anyway enjoy your time in Paris

[@rivierarocket]

Montrez moi où il est écrit que la loi impose le prix d'un euro pour la baguette! Texte officiale SVP "Quel est le prix d'une baguette de pain en 2024 ? 1,40 € Une baguette classique coûte 1 € en moyenne en 2024 mais le prix d'une tradition atteint 1,40 €, soit 30 centimes de plus qu'il y a 10 ans. Une augmentation justifiée ? « Ouest-France » a découpé la baguette selon les postes de dépenses."

[@michellemobakeng5938]

@@rivierarocket You know, it used to be worse in medieval times ! Each country has its own way of doing things because they have their own sets of values and we are not going to shoot them just because they inconvenience our little "me". I wouldn't be so sure about AI. The only place where we will never have to wait any more is in the tomb, the last place of rest. If we have an emergency, we wait, we learn patience, we think about other people's needs, we learn that nothing on this earth is perfect and tailored-made, we pray. What if we ourselves die, get really sick, get into an accident? What happens to that emergency?

[@rivierarocket]

@@michellemobakeng5938 vous compliquez des choses inutilement en france ou comme disait une amie francaise "pourquoi faire simple quand on peut faire compliqué"