Sci-Fi Short Stories - Second Best & A Human in the Engine Room (r/HFY,TFOS# 752)

[@lukkaredwolf3534]

Sounds like the Cap'n is going to need some "Modified by Humans" stickers.

[@SiegeTF]

There's a sticker with a human hand and one of those red circles with a diagonal line through it which means 'don't stick your hand in here!' If its just the human hand it could mean 'a human fixed this!' Or they should just use Killroy.

[@tix2260]

@@SiegeTF they should definitely use Killroy

[@TheStarMachine2000]

What do you think a design for that would be?

[@lukkaredwolf3534]

@@TheStarMachine2000 see, I'm a traditionalist. A simple half and half, half a skull in red, bisected vertically, and the other half a black sprocket with a large bore diameter. By having a human skull, it shows that humans did something here, the sprocket indicates mechanical or mechanism work, while the red and black are common tropes of warning signs.

[@TheStarMachine2000]

@@lukkaredwolf3534 Not a bad idea! I wonder how alien biology would matter to that design

[@GrimpakTheMook]

Ah, yes. The wonders of McGuyvering an engine back to life. Chewing gum, ducktape and some wire, and that blownd-off hyperspace drive is back online. Even more efficient than before, perhaps.

[@AgroSquerril]

sounds legit

[@etopsirhc]

alien engineer: fuck! the gravimetric antimater isolater is busted, it'll take a month in port with a full engineering team to fix! not to mention the years it'll take to get to the damn port on sublight engines alone. human engineer: what are you flapping about tweety, it just needs a bit of duct tape, a couple of fresh wires, and a bit of gum to seal the manifold... and if i add a couple wires here, and ground it to the engine casing... *loud zap* .. there we go, we should be back in port a good two days early, just be careful not to touch the engine hatch while standing on the ground, gotta jump onto then open it up so you don't end up fried.

[@derGhebbet]

Ducktape? ^^

[@GeorgeOrwell-yz6zx]

Old school safety wire for the win.

[@GeorgeOrwell-yz6zx]

​@@derGhebbet strangely enough there is a difference between true duct tape for working on ducts and repair tape. There is a brand out there called DuckTape since their product is for general repairs not ducting. Then again it could be a typo 🤔

[@kirkjones9639]

Duck tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, and holds the universe together. That was just before Chief Thompson, kick my ass out of HIS engine room.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

I think it is the improvised nature of repairs and fixing the function of a system as opposed to fixing the pieces that would make operating an engine difficult after a human has fixed it.

[@AgroSquerril]

true

[@robertbemis9800]

Or the AI of the engine likes TLC humans provide and gets upset when it goes away

[@seldonwright4345]

@@robertbemis9800 yes! AI gets spoiled.

[@LordofWar609]

​@@robertbemis9800 and it probably got a nickname and was talked to by the human becoming friends with it

[@Allantitan]

@@robertbemis9800 at best it becomes depressed when the human is fired at worst a murderous rampage only to be halted by seeing said human looking at it like a disappointed parent or grandparent would

[@taitano12]

😁😆"I void warranties."😂😜 This Hacker catchphrase should be Humanity's slogan - including the maniacal laughter. Innovation when backed into a corner, making things do what they shouldn't be able to do... We are a species of hackers; most of our Engineers and Mechanics are at once the most desired asset and horrifying nightmare to any captain, including a human captain.

[@timothyswanson8773]

Jack of all trades, master of none, but better then a master of one.

[@robertschumacher2707]

Like the old saying, 'In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.'

[@mikehenthorn1778]

Just wait till she paints the engines red and they go faster.

[@seldonwright4345]

Don't forget about the racing stripe. On each one.

[@markdorn8873]

NO, YA GIT, DAT ONLY WURKS FER US ORKSES!

[@Allantitan]

@@seldonwright4345 plus red paint and racing stripes on the outside of the ship as well for extra speed

[@dark_wolf1092]

@markdorn8873 not all orcs. There is a group of orcs from somewhere in eastern Europe that was hired by an American hunter team. Their version of fixing an engine involves sacrificing a chicken to the rotor gods.

[@punkabooiscool1111]

​@@markdorn8873not any more!!!

[@calvingreene90]

Just because I fixed the hydraulic leak with bubble gum, filled the cooling system with motor oil to keep the antifreeze from contaminating the oil, and used 71cc of home made Ballistite in number 3 cylinder to kick the engine over she acted like I'm a war criminal. Besides all I did was enter the coordinates for Elyssium prime in the place of coordinates for New York City in the fire-control system of the Elyssium hyper cannon.

[@merlinathrawes746]

Wait until their human engineer demonstrates "percussive maintenance" in their presence the first time.

[@blackg0076]

British Tommys in WW1 exclaimed the ability of Australians to fix anything with a bit of fencing wire , make grenades out of jam tins and put up a listening post in no mans land with just string to communicate back to the line. They thought we were a race of mad men.

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@adwood201]

Having shown apprentices some of my ...unorthodox methods of getting vehicles mobile they would ask "Are you sure that'll work?" my reply was "It'll either fix it or fuck it!"

[@chriswarner3771]

Alg The For Rithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

agreed

[@adamdrawdy7436]

12 the most important number in the algorithm

[@yomogami4561]

i'd like to be 2nd best at everything tbh i almost felt sorry for the captain but sounds like they deserved it imo fun stories and great narration

[@nos2342]

To please the algorithm is all

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

For the Prophet

[@bradj9772]

The reddit links seem to go to the wrong stories, just a heads up aggro!!

[@AgroSquerril]

corrected

[@abea2460]

😊

[@plinko-moss]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@arakheno4051]

For the Algorithm11!

[@whowhat4573]

Algorithm be pleased.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@unlikelysuspect5491]

For the Algorithm.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@crossdagostino5778]

gg algorithm

[@user-lp3cf5yn5b]

That last story sucked. The writer didn't feel any need to explain the captains phobia of human engineering?

[@DonPatrono]

simple: we humans gerry-rig shit to absurd levels Duct tape, bubble gum, epoxy primer, bent wires, bypassed circuits, vigorous smacks on SPECIFIC parts of the machinery.....kind of shit that voids repair/maintenance warranties EVERYWHERE in the galaxy, and that no other technician knows how to adjust because they would have gerry-rigged it differently this is basically the equivalent to bringing your slightly wobbly new car to your buddy's cousin who has a workshop instead of bringing it to an authorized retailer.

[@user-lp3cf5yn5b]

@@DonPatrono lol, good ol percussive maintenance.

[@timhartherz5652]

Now the Captain needs to keep the Human around to prevent the Ship from falling apart or exploding. And the Captain clearly doesn't like to be dependent on Human Services.

[@jacknedry3925]

Try hitting it first...

[@josmeijers2818]

F.T.A !

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@sydneydaum9204]

fta

[@darkvoidrising1935]

wrong stories in the description

[@AgroSquerril]

corrected

[@merlinwizard1000]

76th, 19 December 2023

[@Hyper_Drud]

How Al Gore got his rhythm.

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@klappstock943]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm