Foster to adopt | True emotions | UK adoption

[@erint5373]

Just wanted to say that your insight is really helpful, especially understanding the human side of things. We are not yet at a stage in our lives where this is a possibility, but I have been wanting to adopt for a while now and find myself watching you and mentally preparing/taking notes for down the road. So just a thank you really :)

[@Sugababe21]

Just been approved for EPP waiting for our baba now I’m very impatient x

[@leannemcdonagh831]

This is so helpful we are awaiting pre adoption training in April 2019 thank you for these videos

[@jpovey113]

Send these videos to my support network as soon as i can. In stage one (possibly forever at this rate or so it feels!😂) But should be in stage 2 mid March. Thank you so much for doing this...you are helping so many people. Xxx

[@rachelsteggle6930]

Hi, I’ve just discovered your channel. My wife and I are going through the adoption process and we are looking in to early permanence as we already have a 3 year old son. Thank you for sharing your story and it has definitely given me some things to consider.

[@gabriellagoodchild7058]

Thank you for this video. I found it really helpful. Did you say there‘a a part 2? I’m at the beginning considering this journey & really considering the emotional side of things. Thank you

[@Aimeevlog]

Thanks so much for your kind words Gabriella :D Yes, the second part is called 'Factual process' I believe

[@amandasmith176]

This is a decision im having to make as a single adopter and youve definitely helped me make that decision 😊

[@joyfulnoiseeducation4685]

Thanks so much for this video, its so helpful. I hadn't really considered the emotional side of taking a baby to contact. I facilitated contact for a while as a job so I know how it works quite well. I also would really like to adopt siblings like you. I'm not too worried about looking after a newborn because I was a paediatric nurse before being a mum and have had my daughter so I have that experience, but it must have felt like being thrown in the deep end for you. I can't believe that couldn't even tell you that basic information. We also don't want to go straight into foster to adopt but want to foster for a few years first so that will make the experience a bit different. Its so great to have your insight though.

[@R1doorbar]

Great video. You really get across how difficult it is. These were the exact reasons why we couldn't go down this route. We felt that the local authority we first went with ( I suspect it's the same as your local authority) were pushing their primary agenda of Foster to Adopt on us. We have our own worries with the two children we're interested in. We've found out we're the only couple to have expressed an interest but the children will be attending a craft event where they and other children and prospective adopters all meet and interact. In the end it is in the hands of their social worker to put us forward to matching panel.

[@Aimeevlog]

R1doorbar thanks for your comment. I plan to do another video with more uplifting information but I know people always hear the positive side and empathise with that before the darker side (naturally). If these little ones are meant to be with you...they will be. I wish you peace for this next part of your journey and so hope it’s good news.

[@louisajohnson4237]

This was really helpful, thanks Aimee x

[@laurabowdley8812]

This is my real life at the moment. Our little one was placed with us this week - 4 days old. This is our first child. At least we knew the gender however she was bigger born so was returning lots of clothes at the last minute 🤦🏻‍♀️ hehe. It was her first contact visit today, I dropped her off got back in the car and had a full on meltdown - it broke my heart (and it’s only day one) It was horrible. Now I can’t stop crying. We’re not sure what’s happening now as I think the parents circumstances have changed which isn’t helping my anxiety. I’m coping with baby, she is doing so well settling in. It’s just the emotional side I’m really struggling with. 😫 xx

[@Aimeevlog]

Laura Bowdley thank you so much for sharing 😘 Congratulations on your new arrival 👶🏻 It will take a little time to find the coping mechanisms that work for you. Calling my mom or husband was definitely my saviour because it stopped the journey feeling quite so long and gloomy. I am thinking about you and here if you want to talk more throughout your journey. Feel free to message me on instagram xx

[@laurabowdley8812]

Aimee vlog ... thanks Aimee 😚 and thank you for putting information like this out there. I’m so love with my little one, however I’m not sure I’d ever do the fostering to adopt again! I think it’s these first few weeks with no family and friends around the house is gonna be so hard... sometimes to just need a cuddle and a chat with your mom don’t you 😢 I’m only 5 days in. Waiting for our pram to arrive so we can get out for a walk at least. Xx

[@chloe1766]

Hi Laura, how's things going now? Xx

[@NSultana007]

Thank you, Aimee...

[@femassafera]

Thanks for another great and honest video! I can only imagine how hard and emotional it must have been. How long these meetings with birth family go on for until a decision is made if the child is going back to birth parents or can now be adopted? Surely there’s a time limit for that decision to be made, for the sake of the child and also the foster parents or can the birth family drag this decision endlessly? Thanks for being so honest 💕 xxx

[@Aimeevlog]

Thanks for another lovely comment 💚 contact continues until the final court hearing (approximately 6 months) & then another 4 weeks (ish) to reduce contact to nothing.

[@katierippon6106]

I would really struggle with contact

[@BeingMrsDudley]

Loved this ❤️ but now want to come and give you a big cuddle xxxxxx

[@kirstenbanks1817]

This sounds a crazy question, but what was the contact with the birth family like? Did you drop them off with a their nappy bag and bottles and trust the family to feed and change them? Or did the social worker look after the child's care needs? Was it like an hour? Two hours? xx Thank you your videos have been so helpful :)

[@Aimeevlog]

We sent her with everything she could possibly need for a few hours. That way we were covered if she needed anything on the way there, during contact or on the way back. We had a communication book in which we wrote last bottles, next bottle or general routine for the time of contact. Contact workers supervise the whole visit to ensure this can happen as well as possible with parents completing as much as they can (ideally everything)

[@Claras_Art27]

Hi! Are early permanence and foster to adopt the same? Thanks for your videos!

[@Aimeevlog]

They are indeed. Just called different things by different people.

[@thecarys999]

Do you have to adopt in this way if you're adopting a newborn or could you have a more traditional adoption with no transition period/ birth family contact when adopting a newborn? X

[@Aimeevlog]

Hi Lola, Thanks so much for the question. Generally and as far as I am aware, no. A child cannot be adopted legally from birth as their legal orders need to be in place first. Families are usually and hopefully given opportunities to learn or make changes if possible or contact is considered to help make a relationship in case children do leave the care system and return to birth families. It would perhaps be the case that no contact was in place for a little one if birth parents disappeared or did not want to engage, but this wouldn't be something that you would know beforehand. Hope that sheds some light and if anyone else has any other experiences of this hopefully they will be able to share as well.

[@sandimcwilliam]

Watch is the ùpper aģe?

[@AdventureAllTheWay]

Would you consider F2A now your little ones are older and would be aware if the baby went back to BM? It's something we are considering in the right circumstance but are concerned about the ramifications for our birth children if baby didn't stay with us. X

[@Aimeevlog]

I think that would be a huge thought. Probably not because of the loss already present in their lives. But if they were much older, perhaps 💚

[@AdventureAllTheWay]

@@Aimeevlog I thought you'd say that. We feel if our three were much older it would ok as they'd understand better. We will do the training I think, and then look at each situation case by case. Our two LAs don't do many F2A placements as they only do them when they are almost certain that there is no chance of reunification. But I suppose anything could happen.

[@ronniebutler3635]

You only think of yourself not the emotions of the birth parents. Shame on you.