6 things we wish we knew before adopting | UK adoption

[@clairepeace5783]

Bless you x I was adopted in 1960 x obviously very different now x I was 6 weeks old when my adopted parents actually took a train and picked me up from a foster parent ! I was born in June at a mother & baby home to my natural birth mother she had already decided she couldn’t keep me bless her ! She was allowed to hold me feed me and then give me away ! They were waiting to take me from her ! I was taken to paid foster parents that had me for 2 weeks and then my wonderful mum & dad picked me up and took me home ! All of my life I have had redicule about my birth from other people ! I was darker than my parents I loved my family but always wondered about that poor lady that gave me up x so did my mum she always had a tear on my birthday ! Very different then was never allowed to know my beginnings xx

[@Aimeevlog]

Claire, thank you so much for taking the time to share that! What an incredible thing for you to inform other people of adoption from all sides and throughout the years!

[@janevernonn9536]

I was adopted, and I could not have had a happier or more stable childhood. What children need is love and security, for all sorts of reasons birth parents sometimes can’t provide that. Adoption is never a second best, either for parent or child, yes, it’s a different way of growing a family, I’m very proud to be adopted. To prospective adoptive parents, you’re doing an amazing thing, thank you. To adopted children, however old, I wish you all the luck in the world, love matters far more than genetics.

[@lauramorris1346]

Really helpful as we look at adoption. Thank you for taking the time to film these!

[@sunday_shake2007]

I'm currently 13 so I don't think ima be adopting anytime soon but to me right now, adopting seems like a path I'd rather go down then having a biological child. I mean giving a child a home, food and love that there original families couldn't seems like a better idea then birthing a child, I may change my mind but adoption seems like my personal best option

[@katherineanderson5667]

Brilliant thank you so much - just started the process so just drinking in as much information as possible at the moment.

[@chloelouise8896]

Both my sisters are adopted whereas I was put under SGO and then came into care at 15. I have contact with one of my sisters adoptive mom and she has had many difficulties with social services. She has done soooo much for my sister and my sister couldn't have a better adoptive mom

[@emilysian8532]

I've just found your channel-thank goodness! I am in the UK. My husband and I are looking at adoption starting the process next year. I have epilepsy and due to my meds, we quite possibly won't be able to have our own. We hadn't really thought about it until my nurse specialist said we could look at adoption and not only will we have a child, but we have given that child a loving, joyful home. So thank you for the advise . Emily x

[@Aimeevlog]

Emily Sian what an interesting story! Thanks for your comment and for your lovely words! 😘 I hope you get lots of useful info in the videos & id love to hear more as your story progresses! 😍

[@lavieenamour]

Brilliant video. Very informative and you made some really good points to consider, which was helpful. Thank you for sharing! Best wishes to you and your family❤️️

[@sparkle7863]

So glad to come across your channel. Very helpful tips . You explain so well. Thank you

[@Aimeevlog]

😘💚

[@indiaeregschannel5298]

Oh waaw this is amazing! I wish I came across this 4 years ago before I adopted 😩😩😩. I actually decided to share my journey on my KZbin to help others to understand this process. 😩😩😩 I really think its important that more people should come forward.

[@amnayousafwriter]

Please share your journey :)

[@cjmathers9656]

I got adopted when I was 4 best thing that happened to me

[@PuddingCat101]

I'm looking at a job within an adoption charity, and your videos are brilliant for me to not only learn more about the process from a prospective parent's point of view, but also where I could potentially improve the experience for others! x

[@Aimeevlog]

That’s amazing to hear!! It’s really hard to give feedback after the fact as you’re settling in a new child and getting used to family life, I just hope that one day someone will take on board the feedback I gave throughout the process.

[@peachygirl2374]

I really want to adopt a child that's roughly 7-8 years old. I want one when I'm around 35ish and I'm finding this very helpful to prepare 😁❤️

[@lionellapoirie5075]

Thank you .. i am gonna start binge watching you ... !

[@makingthegrade824]

Brilliant video and informative. Just about to be a single dad by adopting! Who the hell has disliked this video? I give up with some people!!!!

[@Aimeevlog]

Wishing you all the best, congratulations. These are tricky subjects and they hurt for some people, if it helps them to dislike and feel that they have expelled some of that energy, I can live with it :D

[@shadownote-world]

Thanks Aime. Very useful.

[@david-bs2ov]

Thank you Aimee for video, I wish you and your family every success in all that you do. As an adult adoptee my journey through life has for me been at times immensely challenging/near impossible. Picking the "right moments" at times when your gut instincts tell you to, have honest no holds barred conversations with your family is something I would advocate. I found (when an adult) two books very helpful, both by author Nancy Newton Verrier. " The Primal Wound" and "Coming Home To Self". For me Coming Home to Self was the most helpful. Best wishes to all in the adoption triad.

[@Aimeevlog]

Thanks so much David. Coming home to self is one i haven't read but will be adding to my list. Thank you again qnd wishing you all the best 🙏

[@david-bs2ov]

@@Aimeevlog Thank you. 📈

[@KyleInOklahoma]

*_You gave us some interesting stuff to think about that had actually never crossed our minds. Thank you, Aimee. I remember missing a day at school because I was "sick". Mom made it clear that I stay in for the whole day, not just school hours. She also made sure the teacher sent my homework home with one of the kids from our street, so I got ZERO joy from that day off. Ever since that year, I got an award for missing ZERO days at the end of each school year. Great achievement, even with 40 of us in the class in St.Fergals in Finglas, Mr. Coggins would notice you missing & knock on your door after school or before school the next morning. Despite it been the 80s thru the 90s, in Ireland, we still only had 3 TV channels with TV3 coming later. I was born in 1979 & I'm truly glad we didn't have hundreds of channels available to us. [I don't know if the yuppies had but I never heard of it till the mid-90s, lol.🙃] I don't know who the heck the yuppies were but they existed out there somewhere, maybe like bigfoot "over yonder".😂 So we really felt the changeover that came between the 90s to about early 00s, when just like the guy on TV said, "One day these machines [the size of a mini-bus] will be in every home around the world. I wonder did people who lived before & after the coming of electricity see it in the same way? Our 9 kids are not too interested in the internet, so they would rather hunt hogs for the local farmers & have the patience to get set up in a tree in the dark so they are prepared before the sun comes up & those pesky hogs venture home - This takes up to a full day sometimes. My 13-year-old daughter, who has a twin brother, was adamant that she learned to field dress a hog by age 10. Why? Because her brother could do it. We have 2 sets of twins & all our kids were/are homeschooled on the ranch in Oklahoma. My wife is 3rd generation Irish-American, which meant she is eligible for an Irish PassPort because her grand &/or granma came from Ireland. Any parent out there knows what I mean when I say kids are an infinite source of love, compassion, excitement, happiness & they don't care if we're horrible people in the real world, as long as we treat them right & keep pumping that love in because like a broken ATM, they will give you tenfold what you put in. We are in our mid-40s & got our 9 kids by planning them but not using contraception. We simply chose to go the natural route & kudos for couples who decide on the route they will take. So I think we will adopt maybe 2 young kids in the next 2 years. Our kids are aged between 26 & 9 years of age so we don't want too much of an age gap. I came here from Ireland as a teen & pretty quickly met my wife & married. We hire kids on a working visa from Ireland, many of whom become citizens & stay on with us until they either get the job they dreamed of or go off to further their education. So we will be adopting 2 Irish children. The reason we feel strongly about this is now we know that only a few years into babies been aborted in Ireland & their body parts are been sold. So we want 2 mothers to think twice & come see they have another option. And we'd love for them to be part of their life but if not, we are fine with that. God is good & what will be will be. From the bottom of my heart, I'm not attacking those who abort. We are only offering another option for two parents_* ☘🐎🙏❤🤍💙🙏🐎☘

[@iolandabarb2688]

Hello Aimee we are in stage one tomorrow’s will start the training for that , I am So excited, nervous, scare hope I understand everything and everything will be ok

[@Aimeevlog]

Wishing you all the best 🙏🏽💚

[@iolandabarb2688]

Thank you😘

[@vivian.eni.official]

Thank you so much for this video. Quite informative

[@Aimeevlog]

Thank you 🙏

[@sensitivematters8379]

Really helpful Aimee. I'm struck by the parallels in experience between adoptive parents and parents via egg or sperm donation. Sali

[@IXOX0oI]

Thank you for this x

[@lucya4238]

Such a helpful video!! I have one question though, must you be in a stable relationship or long term relationship to be considered “worthy” enough to adopt, or is it perfectly fine if you’re single and financially stable?

[@Aimeevlog]

Being single is a okay!! 😍💚

[@chloeoniell5819]

Sorry I'm late, my mum is actually looking this question answered although she asked me to type for her as she's not the best with technology lol. I'm 16, my mum is looking to adopt since she always wanted more kids although unfortunately that didn't work out. She's always wanted company for me also. Although I'm really great with younger kids, although of course it's her decision and I respect that. She's a single mother and we've read that a single parent can adopt no problem. Although she's almost 43 and she's decided she wants to try adopt a child between 0-3 years old, although she's open to any age. Were wondering if thats to old to adopt a kid that age? Thanks for the really helpful video by the way. God bless you and your family! ❤️

[@Aimeevlog]

Hi Chloe, yes, there is no upper age to adopt. The agency just take in to consideration the age of the child being placed so this would be something best discussed with an agency 😊

[@chloeoniell5819]

@@Aimeevlog Okay, thanks for the reply :).

[@exops91]

I worried that my anxiety would get in the way of adopting ☹ later down the line I have two children of my own 4 & 3 (had very difficult births with both of them and was really unwell after both births ) 14 weeks with my 1st & then 17 weeks for my 2nd so we as parents thought it would be best for my partner to have the snip 3 years down the line we really regret the choice even though we know it was right for us we could have it reversed but there is no guarantee that I'll be okay after another birth an I need to take my other two children into consideration but my heart hurt so much to have another as they are getting older but I think fostering or adopting is the only safe options I have left to me 😔

[@Aimeevlog]

Thank you so much for sharing such raw and emotional information 💚 you have had a serious journey so far & I think you’re still being incredibly realistic about both your feelings & your options. Something our social workers discussed at length, was ensuring that people have grieved fully before moving on to choosing adoption. In your case, wanting another pregnancy or another baby. These things are perfectly acceptable to want but are much more likely to trigger stresses, anxiety or other difficult issues if you are not truly at peace with this season of life. It’s important to let yourself be sad for the birth child you want and may not be able to have. It’s important to feel all the emotions associated with this and move on to adoption when that chapter of your life is closed (when it is still part of you but can carry you forward with strength not burden). This is good protection for all parties involved that your decision to adopt is a clear one and will serve you well throughout the unexpected and difficult times 💚

[@DavidFraser007]

Please remember that babies, human or otherwise can naturally recognise their actual mothers. You can train your adopted baby to call you Mum, but it's not a natural process. I was adopted for the 2nd time at 18 months old, the first time I was retreived by my Mother, how she achieved this was nothing short of amazing at the time. At 18 months I could already say my own name and I could recognise my own mother and call her Mum. This resulted in confusion, resentment and bullying and I was blamed for not fitting in. You will also be wiping the childs identity and giving them a new one without their consent. I think you are a nice lady and you want to adopt for all the best reasons, but many want to because they feel unfulfilled about their lives. All adopted children will want to know about their natural parents as they grow up, that is perfectly natural, please remember that is their personal space, take a step back and don't intrude.

[@Aimeevlog]

Thank you David. I absolutely agree, it's not natural and i so wish that birth parents could have received the right kind of support to stop the need for this ultimate decision. I have huge respect and acknowledgement for birth parents, the wider family and will always include them in life story work with the children. Identity is so important and we have made a commitment to work at whatever we need to support our children and are still aware that things will not be easy for them. Wishing you all the best as well 🙏

[@DavidFraser007]

@@Aimeevlog I'm sure your kids are settled and happy, that's the most important thing. I think you're lucky and your kids too. I had a tough time, I got slapped a lot, just for asking questions or looking the wrong way, I never knew what to expect when I got home from school. If it wasn't for my Gran, I would have packed my bags. But even back then everybody had a different experience, I had an army buddy in training and he was adopted and he wanted to speak to me about it. I realised I was speaking to a big toddler, he'd been wrapped in cotton wool by well meaning parents. I didn't respond the way he wanted and he never spoke to me again. I felt a bit bad and I spoke to my other mates about it, they said don't worry about it. We weren't sure what homesick meant, but maybe his family lived on a boat or something. (sorry , army humour)

[@nicole48933]

Please can someone help me my wife and I are adopting we would like to know how often the social worker comes because we have heard stories saying they come ever week. And if we want to go on holiday we need to ask Permission. And is this true please help Nicole

[@katierippon6106]

How long was it before you heard back from the agency after you submitted the ROI paperwork?

[@Aimeevlog]

Sorry Katie, I have no idea. Some things really stay in my mind and others have vanished!!

[@harismohammad2005]

I have a question if you adopt one child and that child has a sibling is the adoption time for the second sibling shorter or the same.thank you

[@Aimeevlog]

Hi Haris, The whole process has to be repeated so theoretically, no. However, I think a lot of people find it quicker as a lot of information is already held by the agency and you would already be experienced in the process.

[@shannonclaire7800]

How old was your children when you adopted them

[@kss987]

I'm thinking about adopting with my girlfriend as she's too old to have kids, how do I know if it's right decision

[@Aimeevlog]

Wow! That’s a big question for me!...the best way, I think would be to find out more, together & see how you feel about it then. Request some information online from agencies, watch some of my videos and other peoples content & ask yourself, does that look like a commitment I want or can make? Also, if there’s anything else you think I could help with...let me know 👍🏼

[@megankingston7698]

having a child is always scary whether thats a natural birth parenting or not i believe! It wont be an immediate process, perhaps look into fostering first or adopting a baby may be an option all kids are reliant upon adults why not do a beautiful thing and help make a life better whilst also enriching yours? :) wish you well

[@choudhary6864]

Can a non uk citizen adopt a baby if they are on work visa. Please reply

[@bigtombowski]

Yamyam?

[@rabyarabat4257]

I would like to adopt a child but I have 1 bed flat

[@utachilz8699]

Luckily I know how to deal with a traumatized child cos I was one 🙃

[@Aimeevlog]

Using our experiences can be such a huge strength to support others 💚

[@wweandwildnout418]

Good morning night we were going good 👍🏾 how we were good we are we were

[@gang-gang8325]

How much does the government pay foster parents per week

[@Maysen-e2v]

Why am I watching this if I’m only 10

[@paulroberts8924]

top of the list should be "consent" of all people involved. it's not a forced adoption.

[@Aimeevlog]

Thanks Paul, let me know when you've made your video as I'm always keen to see what other people learn from the process 👍

[@Yourlife_94a]

There’s a big scandal about forced adoption in the uk.

[@JacobSmith-tt7dm]

Hate that you stuck ads on an adoption video

[@Aimeevlog]

Interesting opinion. Thank you for sharing.

[@daniellebutcher9276]

She is a parent she needs to make money to support her child/children and home. Its basically like the saying 'two birds one stone' which helps support her family/home and helps give advice for others. By adding adds into this video she can earn money as well as helping others.

[@wweandwildnout418]

🤐🤕🤑

[@stefanov92]

i love u vids but PLEASE remove the stupid ads I'm shure u dont need them the ruin the video

[@liverpoolpotter4155]

Sorry but why should she? It gives her income.

[@gbeatz2304]

U not think the kid needs his biological parents and not to be separated do u not think the kid should at least have contact and not be dragged away u may think you are doing a good thing but are you I think the system fucked

[@Aimeevlog]

Thanks for sharing your opinion. The world would definitely be much nicer if children never needed to be removed from their birth parents. Families staying together in a safe and loving environment is always the first option. I would suggest you watch more of my videos to find out the answers to your questions as I talk about this a lot.