AITA for Asking my Ex-Wife to Stop Making my Kids Jealous and Flaunting her Wealth?

[@robsonrobson9905]

Doing some maths in the first reading: the divorce was 10 years ago, the ex-wife's youngest is 10 and the new wife's oldest is 9. Not only did he most likely cheat he probably did it while his ex was pregnant or had a new born to take care of

[@Ilikefrogs..]

Jesus Christ, the guy in this story is SUCH AN ASSHOLE. I'm glad karma rewarded the ex-wife.

[@ivorellarackley4401]

I thought of this too!

[@letsHugElefanten]

exactly what I was thinking!! I hoped someone would bring it up and i'm happy morgan did.

[@rebeccaradbourne5651]

This 👌 now hes bitter shes doing better

[@AutumnOddity]

Why people decide to have multiple kids when money is already an issue is beyond me

[@ms.tinygiant]

This x1000

[@becausereasons5235]

If you wait until you can “afford” children- when will that be?

[@lisawise4204]

Because sometimes money isn’t an issue when you make that decision to have kids, then things change. Or maybe they’re not planned but people still make the choice to parent. 🤷‍♀️

[@becausereasons5235]

Or it’s not planned at all. Things happen

[@AutumnOddity]

@@becausereasons5235 Lmao probably never for some people. Don’t you want to be able to provide your kids the best life possible if you DO decide to have them?

[@Ilikefrogs..]

I'm honestly so proud of this woman who left her husband and then became a millionaire. Good for her!

[@carolinamoreno4687]

I mean it’s a bit unfair to tell his ex not to enjoy her life and her hard earned money just because he’s not on her level. I think it’s smart to tell his older kids to maybe not mention it around the younger siblings so they don’t have to feel resentment or jealousy but it’s definitely not fair for him to take those opportunities away from his sons cause he doesn’t do well in his own career

[@HealthyObbsession]

Also it’s harmful to the two kids from the Ex Because he’s showing them he hates seeing them excited Even if that’s not what OP meant As a kid had my dad or mom shown this towards anything we got excited for we would stop talking about what made us happy because It would be taken away not in a ‘your growned’ cus you actually did something but because their spouse got jealous of us Especially my stepmothers

[@carolinamoreno4687]

@@HealthyObbsession yeah it’s really sad to hear someone tell you to limit your happiness. They need to find a better way around things

[@HealthyObbsession]

@@carolinamoreno4687 yeah luckily I’m in therapy but I still hold back about being happy or excited I wasn’t girly enough for my mom so she would threaten to take away my boys clothes or make fun of me for things I loved It sucks because it didn’t start with her until I hit puberty Then it was like a compaction between us and I didn’t know the rules If I liked something she could brag like Theatre or choir about she was fine with it She would still tell me my voice sucks to much to try out Or when I was 12 and I wanted to try acting because I LOVE movies and shows Their my special interest And she just looked at my excited face and told me ‘You can’t do that your to shy’ She could have gone ‘oh wow that’s cool’ even if she didn’t think much of it But self reflection isn’t something I got from her

[@carolinamoreno4687]

@@HealthyObbsession that’s horrible, I’m so sorry. Parents have such a deep impact and really need to be more careful. I’m so sorry you had to go through that

[@linneakhan6884]

Married one year after the divorce. He left one women for the other and now he is jealous. He isn't even happy that his sons are getting things they enjoy. He thinks she is only providing these fun things to the boys to make HIM feel bad.

[@UmmAlietha]

"I'm too broke to pay child support or alimony, but I had 3 more kids with my affair partner."

[@katesimpson5098]

I feel like his main concern isn't his girls or boys in this situation it's his pride. He cheated on his wife and she by herself is everything her children need , while he's struggling to just be a father. He broke his family apart by cheating , if she was struggling like him he wouldn't have a problem. The fact that the daughters think it's an option to go on a cruise shows they are doing relatively ok. As a kid I didn't ask for anything because I didn't want to stress my parents out I knew we were struggling but I was still happy. Your daughters have a nuclear family, don't rob your son's more than you already did somethings matter more than cruises.

[@nvk743]

Well said 👏

[@jaimelowe4246]

I feel like, it’s fair to ask the boys not to bring up the expensive stuff they’re doing with their sisters, but he’s over thinking the ex’s motive, she’s not spoiling the kids to spite you, she’s doing it because she can.

[@Byebyebye-]

Yeah and that's just a conversation he should have with the boys, the ex wasn't talking to the girls about it

[@nikkiray8217]

100000%

[@maybaby13x]

Anyone else finding it just a little sus that his son from previous marriage is 10 and daughter with current wife is 9?!? 1 year to have a kid, get divorced, meet someone, get remarried and have another kid with them is definitely iffy….

[@carolinamoreno4687]

I don’t want to sound like a dick but if he knew he wasn’t making money and his new wife wasn’t planning on working why wouldn’t he just pull out? Like why have 3 more kids, a total of 5, if you can barely afford to live. Also why not ask your new wife to get a job? Why is the fair thing for your ex to stop living her best life😂

[@jnp444]

Yea this story is giving, lower your standards of living for our kids because I made it difficult for myself and my new family to have even the basics.

[@micksdowd]

Why would he have 3 extra children when money is an issue?

[@AutumnOddity]

Yea that’s a wild choice

[@AmeliaColbert]

30k depending on where you are in the uk, isn’t a bad salary ngl

[@laurag502]

@@AmeliaColbert he was saying theyre struggling to keep heat on in their home. it’s not enough for a family of 5 or technically 7 because of his first two sons

[@iHeartAmySue]

I’m sorry but half of America makes 30k a year and think it’s a decent salary. With government benefits and an affordable home or trailer you can learn quite well. Step out of your box.

[@iHeartAmySue]

Also doesn’t the mom pay child support?

[@levib5202]

Them talking about how $30,000 is so little when it's what I make as a middle school teacher is both funny and sad.

[@Brenaylmao]

Feels bad man 😢

[@hazyhaunter559]

The worst part about this is I have no degree and make more than this just by talking to people over chat for 40 hrs a week....our society is truly warped

[@diamcole]

WHAT?! You should be making double that!

[@kristinapaxton9686]

It's actually pounds sterling. But nonetheless does not cover a single person let alone a family these days with the cost of living crisis.

[@2d3c]

It really is it's how much I make a year as well as in home health

[@qwertyhimym]

30k pounds = 40k dollars Cheaper and low income housing, free heath care, free education, gov systems that help and support, public transport accessible, cheaper groceries in uk vs us

[@prihaps]

When you put it that way there really is no excuse to not be able to afford heat in your home.

[@supremacy2040]

I wonder if he cheated or left her for someone else and she’s hit it big after they divorced. She may be rubbing it in, or she might just be getting on with her life and his life is not her problem anymore Edit. I wrote this message half way thru. This makes sense if he cheated and it also makes sense he’s so angry she’s doing so well. He’s pissed because he’s suffering for his own choices

[@PandaRisk]

I think he is the AH. In my opinion he is jealous. It is in his comment that she makes them feel "lesser than". If he was concerned because of the kids he could have asked for a conversation with his ex and explained the situation. They could have found a solution all adults together. But he chose to guilt trip her for doing good.

[@deidrajohnson2143]

How is it spiteful for her to make a life for herself? Is he so self involved that she earned her success to spite him? She was with a low earning man and was left, likely after he cheated while she was pregnant with an infant and a small child, and he thinks she did that to spite him? What a simpleton. No wonder he’s not making any money. He’s too busy counting hers.

[@Shawn-rq4py]

He says his ex is “shoving her wealth down his throat “. He also says she makes 6 figures/yr. 1. How does he know her salary? Did she tel him or is he guessing? 2. He says she drives a nice car and lists what it is. Ok? 3. The boys are the ones who come over to talk about their vacation/trips etc. So how exactly is she shoving her wealth down his throat? He didn’t say she bragged to him about how much she makes or brags that she drives a nice car or flaunts their trips at them or she doesn’t wave around fists full of cash etc. He’s posted nothing to indicate that she actively brags or flaunts her wealth at them. I hear the kids excitingly talk about the trip they’re going on. He had to look up the price of the tickets for the cruise etc. in his post she’s done nothing to flaunt or act better than him. He went on the offensive and wrote her a nasty letter saying “stop making us feel less than”. His jealousy has nothing to do w anything she did or said. It has to do w him remarrying a year after their divorce, having 3 more kids w a wife who is a SAHM and only making $30,000 to support them all. I can understand him doing all he can to support his family but she isn’t flaunting anything at them. It’s his own insecurities that is the problem and I’d imagine his wife stays on him about them not being able to afford things. I’d also imagine they have some arguments over his income to which makes him angry at his ex. I can understand his frustration but the letter was an AH thing to do and forcing his oldest not to say anything about their trips etc is holding them back from expressing themselves. His ex’s life has nothing to do with life. Her income doesn’t affect him nor does his. My only thing would be if she’s truly making 6 figures she shouldn’t take any money from him as child support. Clearly she can afford to take care of them w o help from him. But other than that he’s just jealous. IMO

[@tully6648]

Exactly. 100% all of this. If he wanted to have a conversation with her about having a conversation with their sons about how to talk about their good fortunes around their half-siblings, then that's fine. But it sounds more like he sent a wall of text at her that said she should stop altogether, and he wants his sons to keep totally silent. That's not fine. He can feel frustrated and want to not make his kids feel bad, but he can not ask for it in a way that punishes her and her sons simply for being able to have nice things.

[@UmmAlietha]

My money is on him taking her back to court so he could get out of child support, and then learning how much she actually makes, and getting big mad.

[@Sndyj457]

Nope he’s obligated to financially support his kids. Her salary should have nothing to do with his obligation. He should have planned his family better.

[@becausereasons5235]

Also, it’s literally not her problem that they are jealous

[@dhanameetsnao]

The dad should just be happy for his sons that his ex-wife can provide them a good life.🙂

[@esmooth919]

Be that as it may, it's causing his daughters (who are still their siblings, half or not) to become jealous.

[@reneedaughter]

​@@esmooth919then he needs to have that crucial conversation with his daughters explaining that there are two households and the difference in those households.

[@lizlizzy103]

Maybe he should use it as motivation to seek better income. Maybe his wife can take on a part time job from home?

[@misslauravegas]

I really can’t believe the Dad. There is nothing stopping him from going out there and getting a higher paying job. Maybe his current wife could also get a job too. If they are struggling that much. He should be happy that his ex wife is able to provide a lifestyle that allows her to take his son’s on fun trips and be able to live a nicer life. Bottom line he shouldn’t be jealous, it should motivate him to want to do better for his daughters.

[@raijinonwii]

you make a good point but think about this conisder how much he must be working to sustain their lifestyle most likely all day every day but even if not finding another job with better pay is very difficult especially if your raising 5 kids and paying child support. I do agree that he should try to keep his kids from talking about his ex wife's lifestyle but give him some grace. Have you ever been so scared because if you lose your job you know your family is at risk. I agree that the Mom should be able to enjoy her wealth but you gotta feel for situations like that.

[@raijinonwii]

Who would take care of the children if their both working to?

[@Milkymommy09]

@Raijin The youngest is old enough for preschool and the older ones are in school. Mom could get a part-time job instead of not having heat all winter.

[@HealthyObbsession]

@@raijinonwii yeah but if the wife got even a part time job would help out Especially when your SO is struggling to pay for heating and basic needs Especially when you have children who from OP post will literally go cold and probably get sick Putting even more pressure on OP But I take what OP said with a grain of salt because it could just be added to win sympathy likes

[@diamcole]

Also wondering why his wife is a SAHM. When you're worried about the heat being on, it sounds like it's a "all hands on deck" situation. One stream of income isn't working!

[@iHeartAmySue]

I’ve been in this situation that the divorced man has experienced. My daughter was about 13 and her father was taking beach vacations when I could only afford camping, because he cheated on me and I didn’t have a full time career when he left. I explained to my daughter the issue, told her I would do my best to get her a beach vacation someday. And this disappointment in my daughter motivated me to work my ass off to make more money. I did it. I’m now making as much as her dad and taking her on awesome vacations! Just do the work. Figure out why you are limiting yourself and what is causing you to stay poor.

[@crazypyp5871]

I honestly feel really awful for the kids in this. There certainly will be some resentment between the siblings later on and that just breaks my heart that the poor kids can’t even have heating during the winter. :(

[@Maythehoresbewithyou]

There is already resentment from their own unintelligent father. These kids NEVER need to be around him if he’s making them feel bad for things that are COMPLETELY out of their control. F this guy.

[@siyahlove9666]

I have been in this situation as a child my mom done A lot for me and my dad and his other kids couldn’t. They used to make me feel really guilty look at my clothes and not let us enjoy the things my mom brought me when I was at my dads. I didn’t understand it and I didn’t want to go to my dads.

[@tinytebs]

coming from a child in a similar situation: parents divorced, dad was military and remarried mom has always been. in and out of jobs, grew up with my mom my dad had 2 more kids but they were always pretty well off (military pay+bonus per child AND marriage) but the big difference was they made ME feel bad for being with my mother they flaunted all the money and trips they could go on to ME and it caused YEARSSS of custody battles and the tug of war removed my personal rights to have a decision on which parent i wanted to live with is it a little cruel for those kids to be excited and sharing everything to the less fortunate family? absolutely but they dont understand that, the dad should sit down with the older kids and explain the difference in sharing an experience and bragging about it (10 is a great age to start teaching empathy) but its even more ridiculous for him to expect her to not take care of HER kids in a way that she can afford just because he cant do the same for them and 3 others its insensitive to expect her to pay just because she CAN afford it if she was actually flaunting her money to this family i would have a lot more issues, but it sounds like shes giving her children experiences and the rest of the family is bitter

[@greendiamondglow]

Why is the wife a sahm when they clearly can't afford it? Also, we all realize he cheated on the ex, right? The ex owes him nothing

[@samim1253]

If your kids are school age it's time for sahm to at least get a part time. He needs to stop blaming his exwife for being successful.

[@sinicrowther]

As a person in the uk just about earning £30k I can just barely support myself let alone a wife and 3-5 kids. I can’t imagine the struggle they are going through, but I agree that the ex has no responsibility to them, it’s down to the dad to explain to his girls the truth in a way that they will understand.

[@sonjamiller8266]

Exactly. Not sure where this person stating 30k in the UK isn't bad. It's horrid

[@daisyo.6666]

@@sonjamiller8266 Depends where in the UK you are, if it is in London you are screwed. If it is in a smaller city, you can do fine.

[@sinicrowther]

I’m from London so I’m kinda screwed haha

[@brittanyfischer1786]

He’s an asshole because he acted like his ex-wife was being malicious and vicious towards him just because she is taking the kids on vacation. It’s not like SHE bragged about it or mentioned it in front of the other children, she was just existing and he got mad at her for it and decided to take out his anger on her. Dude has issues.

[@kitsilanocat]

I just feel bad for the kids in this situation. Imagine how much of a mind trip it must be to be close siblings who are in totally different tax brackets? This husband is just bitter.

[@emilyh6585]

Sounds like he cheated on her. Two young boys and probably less then a year between his ex wife’s child and his new wife’s child. So he cheated and is now complaining that his ex is able to provide for her sons. Then his children want to tell their father about their fun vacation and he shuts that down.

[@zbrewed]

OP needs to get another job that pays more than $30k or keep the job and have a side gig. He can’t fault her nor ask her to not spend money on her children just because he can’t do the same. Different income equals different experiences. And no, you can’t ask the kids to not talk about their experiences. That sounds like a punishment. I wouldn’t want to visit him ever.

[@UmmAlietha]

TLDR: "I'm too broke to pay child support or alimony, but I had 3 more kids with my affair partner."

[@gingergirl8149]

Hi! I’m in a coparenting situation and thought I could weigh in. Every situation is completely different. Everyone is validated in their feelings. In my situation we prioritize the children 100%. We let the siblings have access to one another and feel included in one another’s lives as much as they wish to be. I recognize this is a choice and not an obligation. But I feel it is best for our children’s well-being to feel stable in their family situation. If an issue of finance were ever to arise I’m confident that either parent in the situation would explain it respectfully to the child. “Not everyone gets to have to wonderful vacations that we get to take because momma is very blessed and makes good money, but not everyone gets to have these things. So let’s share it with your siblings and not make them feel bad for not having all of the same things? Okay?” I think that needs to be a joint conversation where the two families come together humbly and with care. It’s good to explain things to your children. But like I said, every situation is so different and not everyone is in a good place with the other parents involved. This is just what our family would do to respond to this obstacle.

[@HealthyObbsession]

Yeah that only works if they coparent respectfully Op has shown he doesn’t respect his ex he accused her of being ‘Spiteful’ Even though she is clearly much better off without him as a partner Plus the Ex doesn’t owe OP or their other family anything It couldn’t be an even split when OP is the only one who works having a SAHW and can’t afford heating The Ex would more than likely feel pressured to pay for much more than just herself and her kids When she can take her kids and herself. Somewhere they actually want to go If OP can’t afford heating. he’s probably not gonna shill-out for a vacation, even a cheaper one

[@gingergirl8149]

@@HealthyObbsession agreed just sharing my experience

[@LaHoraMusical]

Controversial opinion: Why have more kids and you can’t even afford the ones he had already and why is his wife is not working. So ok, he had the right to have three more kids that he could not afford to have and his right to decide to be with a wife that is not working but now he has to pay the consequences for all of his choices, choices that he MADE!

[@stephocean]

I do not feel bad for you having a weak pull out game and also REMARRIED AFTER A YEAR.. lmfao tells me everything I need to know

[@stephocean]

Also why does she have to “be more humble” to make that man feel good enough... PLEASEEEE .. absolutely not

[@stephocean]

Also, Jerry calling her bitter is nasty work.

[@Michelle_Kemp]

£30k isn’t low wage in the U.K. outside of London. It’s pretty average. The problem he has is that his wife isn’t also earning and we have a cost of living crisis. I think you’re looking at it from an LA price headspace. 6 figures is what 1 person needs to survive? That’s an insane statement.

[@lilyfield2450]

in austin tx (not LA but it’s turning into it bc of californians) id say for one person you’d need at least 50k to live semi comfortably and that’s not including emergency funds for medical stuff car stuff etc. idk the housing and apartment market here is so fucked. but ya 6 figures not necessary lmao

[@Byebyebye-]

In Tennessee 30k could probably support a family of two adults and *maybe* one child in a lower middle class lifestyle

[@emmawood5821]

I live in the uk and my partner is a plumber and my ex is a prison officer and both earn under 30k a year, unfortunately that’s pretty standard over here even for good jobs x

[@YourShadowKeeper]

The older two shouldn't be made to feel guilty or be chastised just because their dad and his new wife are struggling to afford the basics. One way to fix that may be OP asks if family members can babysit any young children, and both he and his wife work. Blaming the ex-wife for OPs financial struggles because he's jealous that she's in a completely different financial bracket now is asinine. His boys deserve to be happy and excited about a holiday they're going to have with their mum, his other kids will have to learn that sometimes people can have things you can't.

[@reneedaughter]

Story 1. YTA shut up , mind your business and be glad your ex is a good mother.

[@daisyo.6666]

Actually, if he is British, 30k is not that bad for an income, it is a problem when you have 3 kids and your partner doesn't work.

[@shaniakellenberger4047]

I work in a hospital as a CNA and make just under 30k a year and can barely afford living on my own and taking care of my self

[@idontreadrepliesdontbother]

The dad is just jealous and needs to move on. I do feel for the kids who might build resentment towards their siblings later in life.

[@carolineschofield5811]

You really need to do some research before some of these episodes. 30k in the UK is a relatively good salary dependant on where you live- minimum wage here is just about to raise to just over £21k. This is not a jack in the box salary. To put it into perspective a newly qualified nurse starts on a salary of £27k a teacher £28k, the basic pay for a first year doctor is just over £29k...

[@carolinamoreno4687]

If the only two options are asshole or not the asshole I would say yes he is the asshole. You can’t make someone enjoy their life less just because you haven’t had the same luck and honestly I don’t get the vibe that she’s doing anything maliciously. But it does suck that his younger kids have to see their older siblings enjoying this they most likely won’t get to, at least not during their childhood.

[@QueerTay]

Maybe it’s just my upbringing and current work but 30k in the uk feels like a lot of money to me. Minimum wage for a 25yo is like 19k and so many jobs barely pay above it. Acting like a 30k job is working at a fast food place is so weird. That’s like engineer pay.

[@JohannyVeigaviolin]

I think it is his fault for having whole bunch of kids and not be able to provide it

[@VM-3]

The ex wife and her kids are not in the wrong. If the husband feels inadequate then thats on him. He's struggling to make ends meet but also, he clearly cannot afford to have a stay at home wife. So maybe look into things OP & his wife can do to make more income for their household.

[@rebeccaradbourne5651]

So he cheated, got a crap downgrade and is now bitter about it😅

[@brittanyanderson8195]

He's the ahole for how he handled it. If times are that hard for you, since your kids are now school aged, maybe your wife should consider getting a job, even if it's something part time to still be able to attend school events for the kids. No need to shame the ex for providing for her kids with what she's able to give them.

[@hippopajamas]

The argument I've been seeing int he comments that the dad should just "get a better paying job" is so comically dense I'm a little speechless. Oh, why did he never think of that! This guy is being unreasonable in this circumstance, but people don't CHOOSE poverty/financial struggles.

[@Maythehoresbewithyou]

You know what else is comically dense? Him being resentful toward his own children because his new wife is a LAZY POS who has school age children and still refuses to get a job even though they’re “bArleY affOrdIng HeAtIng” That is QUITE LITERALLY his and his wife’s problem. NOT the two kiddos OR the ex wife. F off You’re probably a man 🙄

[@miabaca9625]

5 children is no accident. He absolutely chose poverty when he continued making mouths he couldn’t feed.

[@VM-3]

​@@miabaca9625 👏well said and he also can't afford to have a stay at home wife.

[@hippopajamas]

Hey, fam remember: poor people are allowed to have kids. We also DO NOT know the details of their lives and how/why they had these kids so let's not make bold assumptions. Let's not crucify poor people for wanting to build families.

[@hippopajamas]

@@Neverendingstory78 people can still have meaningful, amazing lives while lower class. The idea that only higher class people are somehow worthy of children is... kinda ew.

[@izzy1753]

Small point but I just wanted to quickly say that, if they are UK based, then you don't need to worry massively about health insurance. Thanks to the NHS, free medical care is available to everyone, with the exception of prescription medication (unless provided in hospital), dental care, and a few other (non-emergency related) services. However, even with these exceptions, they are subsidised (we pay around £9 for each prescription medication), and children under 18 are entitled to the majority of these things for free. At least the kids don't need to worry about that.

[@peacechickification]

30k pounds is like 45k American dollars. Yeah, still tough to support a family of 5 on, but sadly that’s pretty fucking average.

[@starremedi9263]

honestly if he only makes 30k a year, why is the wife not working? she should at least work from home to avoid costs of child care

[@Exhaustedmamabear]

This could have almost been my moms post. My older sister's dad is a tech guy and could fly her all over for every holiday. My mom worked and we struggled and my dad was on disability and so he stayed home and took care of us. And our dynamics were a lot like your hypothetical. But i am glad for our struggles.

[@nikkiray8217]

i literally just got a work from home job making $24 an hour, hes making $14 an hour? thats his fault. THEY both should be doing everything they can to provide more for their kids. Fix your resume, fix your budget and stop complaining.

[@Totaltwist]

If in the UK... £30k+ is a decent average salary. Cost of living here is much lower than the US. In a normal family(3 people) household, that is decent and you might get a holiday somewhere once a year.

[@jenasciaromero16]

My parents always told me don’t get attached to a job there’s always a better opportunity and ofc I will if it’s my dream but I wouldn’t dream of my kids living like that and the mom isn’t working?? Like it would be different if they were well off but I would stop having kids until I can afford necessities. I also feel like you shouldn’t tell your wife anything because why would it matter to you? If she’s able to make 6 figures you should be able to too right??

[@bananabread888]

Jealousy will eat people alive. I think most things can be solved with direct and polite conversation. Calling her spiteful might be a little much, she doesn’t have to listen to him although he makes a decent point. The point being how do children interact well with each other even if they are from different economic backgrounds

[@beautywithisela8182]

I honestly don’t know how he’s getting by by only making 30k. I’m a stay at home mom and my husband makes more than double that and it’s still a struggle at times.

[@ehamster09]

If it’s the UK £30k isnt as bad as it is in the states, it is tight with that many kids but there are child benefits, and we don’t have to worry about health insurance etc

[@kristinapaxton9686]

Ps The UK is going through a cost of living crisis. People are working full time but not enough to survive. Some have had to choose between heating and eating. Some companies have entered homes to install more expensive pay as you go meters for those in council houses and low income. Disgraceful. Food prices are going up as there food shortages like no veg. Rent in the south east e.g. Oxford used to be £550 per person for a single room a few years ago. Now it's like £700-800. That's sharing with 4 other people too. It's been a decade of mismanagement by the government. This didn't happen overnight.

[@SmulanMaria]

I'm just trying to figure out how she was flaunting her wealth...

[@tamaraterherst6794]

Maybe his wife can get a job so they can make double what they make now. Also, there are jobs that he can make more than 30k. That’s a starting wage and he’s a middle aged man. His situation is his doing. She doesn’t owe him. She has every right to give her boys a good life. I think it would be best to talk to the boys and explain why they shouldn’t brag about trips in front of their other siblings. They are old enough to understand that

[@victorywalkingtours8843]

Growing up, I had friends who went to Disney and got $200 spending money (a LOT back then). We went camping and ate granola bars and if we were lucky we got $20 to spend. My parents explained to us what was possible and what wasnt. Yeah, sometimes I wished we could have more money to spend, and I was a bit disappointed. But overall I understood that it wasnt in my parents' grasp. Life isnt equal or fair. It sucks and I know as a parent it must hurt. But its life. Theyre not entitled to her hard-earned money

[@alanamacneill88]

Very tough situation

[@cincyassist127]

Op needs a better job and they obviously can't afford for his wife to be a SAHM. They need to get their shit together and not worry about the ex's finances.

[@Stillnene]

Dad is totally out of line. But i think mom would be a better parent if she took this opportunity to teach her kids about tact.

[@prihaps]

Lol not her problem at all and it matters not her motive behind it. Asking the boys in private was fair but keep the ex out of it.

[@yomairanieto400]

Now and day's you need at least 2 income's to survive for a family of 5 his youngest is 3 wife needs to get her ass up and get a job and I bet between both they would be able to do these things for their kids as well stop hating on your ex because she is single making good money and giving your kids their best life maybe you shouldn't have jumped into a new relationship right after ya break up now you mad and miserable with a wife and three kids that's your fault get over it

[@robynkamira7294]

30k in the Uk depending on location is doable especially if the wife intends on returning to work. We made it by in north England on my Mums pay of about 12k pounds a year. (Dad passed young) I’m 27 and my sister is 21. We went on a few trips abroad growing up- extended family came to and we would rent villas in Portugal or Turkey but definitely not Disney cruises money they were for rich families. I had friends who had two parents growing up and they went to Disney Florida and did skiing and yeah I was GUTTED I couldn’t go but I understood my mum couldn’t buy that and I loved the family time more than caring about location. This dad could absolutely (with planning) buy second hand camping gear or borrow them (his ex wife might have them and if you’re taking her boys why not) and go camping in any of the lovely campgrounds of the UK. It sounds like the dad is struggling with his circumstances but he should focus on the fact that it is AMAZING his ex can provide so well for his sons. I can’t imagine the weight it would have lifted off my mum to have that extra security for us.

[@oopsiedoopsiee]

i wanna say YTA first off

[@sonjamiller8266]

UK has National Health so medical insurance is not an issue

[@Jess-yq3bc]

This person can’t even provide much for his family. Thats on him do more

[@kimberlygonzalez3384]

Or it could be one of those situations where they separated b4 the divorce was official. So who knows it he cheated 🤔

[@Ilikefrogs..]

Someone also commented that the ex-wife's youngest is 10, and the new wife's oldest is 9. It's probable that not only did he cheat, but he did so while his ex-wife was either pregnant or home with their newborn. If she was pregnant or had just had a baby it's unlikely they were separated.

[@oopsiedoopsiee]

how am i the only one here lol HELLO!! (echo)

[@Bakugou-cn4fo]

Not sure if cheating was involved.yeah divorced a year but how long was they separated before the divorce

[@k-popprincess416]

In some cases, money shows people who they truly are, wither it be being a caring person who gives some of their vast wealth to charities, or a narcissistic person who thinks they are better than everyone else and uses their money to show that.

[@2d3c]

The paying job really does not match anymore where I work I make more than minimum wage and still only Make less than 30K year In do in home care

[@czurbandanaz]

Find a other job?

[@shannonspangenberg1163]

I have 1 question. Is it 30k a month or yearly. Whats the timespan

[@ElvesDoom]

There’s online jobs that could help him like indeed etc

[@Sndyj457]

I wonder if he was the well off one would he give a crap about her feelings. Something tells me no

[@reyy717]

9:25 im temporarily disabled and I only make $900 mo. and I’m supporting myself and my two kids. In a $1120 2 bed apartment in Cali I wish I could be making 30k 😭

[@reneeallred5082]

I think it’s karma for cheating!

[@carinarangel763]

The men are truly defending their kind. She aint ta AT ALL.

[@__sp000ky__3]

I honestly think NAH. I can understand the fact that the half brothers do all these lavish things and the 3 girl may not even have heat. Like it's just a shitty situation and idk why it was bad to ask the boys not to bring up the trips they go on in front of the girls. Why not the dad and the boys go out for a bit every weekend and they can tell their dad the stuff they did with their mom so the resentment between siblings don't rise

[@Emilia-fp3pn]

I earn more than all my friends, and I'm on £26,000 I earn more than my mum, who, up until recently, was supporting 3 people and only really struggled if the fridge broke or car needed repairs 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, that would be around £15 an hour. The minimum wage is around £10

[@sabrinabee9217]

It’s not capitalism why he makes 30k 🙄

[@shigeokarika7928]

I dont think he was cheating: divorce take a long time to be effective, sometime it can take 4 years or more. There is no cheating involved if he met his new wife during the divorce procedure !

[@Sptl8qq]

Read the ages again. Youngest with the ex is less than a year older than his eldest with his new wife. Meaning the former kid was ~max three months old when he conceived the latter kid. Almost definite that he cheated while his ex was taking care of their newborn; more likely that he was already cheating while the ex was pregnant, assuming he dated the new wife for a few months before she got pregnant.

[@audreyjones268]

i think she could have communicated better? how come the father didn’t already know about this trip i don’t think he’s the asshole 😬

[@babytooty04]

No, he's the asshole, because he told his sons to stop talking about their fun vacations and the stuff they have because it makes his daughters jealous. What he can do is pick up his big boy pants and go get another job. His wife needs to get a job. Like you know you need more money, so go make it. Plus no one told him to have THREE more kids

[@LindsayNoel101]

This one was hard to listen to. I mean 3 people who make plenty of money telling someone they don't even know that he should go make more money? That's a pass for me. I'm sure it was well intended but yikes guys step into reality a bit and don't make this dude feel even worse about his income. I'm getting big, pull yourself up from your boot straps vibes and I expected better of the hosts. Theorized Cheater or not it's NOT ok to judge someone on their income and tell them to get a better job

[@angelicadaminescu6530]

What grey area???? He divorced her after probably chetead on her and now she makes a lot more money then him by herself!!!! And giving those boys a great life.He is disgusting and bitter.there.

[@alistyles2267]

I mean OP also said but his ex wife started an online business and that's how she made all her money so I'm sorry buddy why don't you go start an online business, hey why don't you have your wife that doesn't have a job start an online business, not saying that it's easy but if his ex-wife took the initiative and made the commitment to do it obviously it's possible if he's not jealous of it. But also I'm like if y'all are really struggling that bad and your wife hasn't offered at least to get a job or you guys haven't at least even thought about it that's on you. You can sit there and complain all day about how she makes more money and while you're sitting there complaining about how she makes more money you're not making any and she's just making more so why don't you use the time you're complaining to do something about 🤷‍♀️

[@thelifeoflaylay4]

There’s nothing gray here. He fucked up as a husband/parent and wants to blame someone else like be so fr right now

[@annemarietilton7]

But I also believe if it other foot the mom would ask for child support for two kids. So she can take kids vacations too. And so if father get child support for there kids when there staying with a dad. Take vacation out of the picture he you having hard time putting food on table for your kids and light on while your kids are home. I just think in unbalanced here

[@thelifeoflaylay4]

He’s not the primary care taker he’s not getting child support wtf 😂

[@TexasbyStorm]

It's very possible she owes him child support. Child support is meant to keep care for the kids stable between two homes. Not being able to afford heat doesn't sound very stable. Even if they spend more time at one home over the other. He should contact an attorney and see what they say. He should also look for a better job. Since this is Britain I don't know if child support laws are the same. Also 30K isn't the same in the UK as it is in the US. Many times people live in council houses and don't have housing costs like we do in the US. Also if they are eligible (they probably are) they also qualify for things like child tax credit. These benefits are outside income and they would lose them if mom went to work. I am going to change my original suggestion to get child support. I think this man is living off the system and doesn't try to do more because they don't want to lose all the freebies they get from the government. Healthcare is 100% covered and so is childcare for low income families. There are zero excuses that mom doesn't work in the UK outside of not wanting to lose benefits or just doesn't want to.

[@stephocean]

Lmao that’s not how child support laws work at all. Glad you thought things through towards the end of that statement bc if she has them almost full time (which she likely does) then no she doesn’t owe him anything.

[@stephocean]

He needs to take responsibility and man up and get a better paying job, stop having so many kids and get a partner who is willing to financially contribute if finances are such a struggle

[@keybladechosn1]

He only sees his sons on the weekends. If he wants child support, he'll have to push for 50/50 custody.

[@skyt3265]

He’s in the wrong but he’s not an asshole

[@WhitneyVerMeer]

Girl- the privilege is cringe af

[@AutumnOddity]

Who’s privilege? The ex wife?

[@polisinclair3548]

Research U.K. wages cos £30k is pretty much our AVERAGE wage 🫠