Failing at the Middle + WRITING RETREAT! | YA Thriller Vlog #4

Wherein I hit the middle of my draft and it gets REALLY HARD. Also a look at the writing retreat I went on with Kat & Lainey!
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[@loveyourlife9166]

I read the title and was like No way! I hate the beginning because you have to etablish the world/characters, the middle is the fun part where you get to play with them ;)

[@platoniczombie]

That's how I'm feeling. I am only 6,000 in and feel bogged down trying to get my character out in this new world. I understand why I'm having trouble, my character is dealing with denial and shock, so the character is stuck, and it's making me feel stuck. Perhaps this is good writing or bad writing. Who knows!

[@pippajackson3027]

I’m realizing more and more that writing is just hard. You love it because it means creating worlds and creating people that others can live and connect with. But it’s not easy, not at any stage 😅

[@LauraTwoPointO]

Pippa Jackson it really isn’t!

[@YncFlrZ]

Middles are the worst. For two weeks now I'm struggling with mine. I feel like I lost the vision into the world of the story and the funny part is, my three main characters recently had all there own major setbacks and are feeling as lost as I am right now. I try to reach 3500 words each week, but also 500 each day. Last week I got 2525 but this week up until now I got extraordinary 69. Still a few days left this week, though. Thanks for sharing your struggle, it's "good" to know, that it's just being a writer and nothing else.

[@alivia329]

I love seeing everyone with their macs then you with your PC!

[@Starolfr]

Even in the dark spots you still shine. I hope the sense of relief and accomplishment at the end is significantly greater than the feeling of difficulty here in the middle. : )

[@KJM_Writes]

Interesting side note for me was the evolution of Alexa. I could honestly see your mental state change in the different sections of the video. But honestly, I feel like people think “oh, you’re just writing, surely you can still do that when you feel like shit” but actual writers know how much of a distraction pain and discomfort is. So I feel ya. Just keep taking care of you and do what you can. 💕 Thanks for the video. The vlog was good. 👍😁

[@victoriacaine7040]

Your Vlog was great! You can even just set your camera on a Tripod and film yourself typing and then set the speed on 2X. When watching it back, you might remember what you were thinking in certain moments and could do a voice over of any dilemmas or problem solving you dealt with. It any case, I loved the cheese bit, lol! "What a writer eats while going through the muddled middle" would be fun to include

[@rebeccadey]

Middles are sooo hard. Guess where I am? Lol. Thank you for posting about your struggles, though, because it's honestly relieving to be reminded that pros go through this too, that every writer does, and that it's not just you. That we aren't alone. But you ROCK, Alexa. You have so much to be proud of, getting nearly 40k down in a month. And please keep taking care of yourself. ❤

[@plasticfrog4533]

Thanks for your tips, you inspire me to write more and help me to do so better ❤️

[@samanthajungers8442]

It would have been hilarious to see the drunk dramatic readings

[@livmilesparanormalromanceb6891]

I love this video! You did a great job putting together a video of your trip, and I love your calendar full of stars! You rock, keep going :)

[@tnmcdanel1770]

Reading "The Ivies" before watching these have been so encouraging as I work towards finishing a novel draft for the first time

[@StylusRumble]

Watching someone slop around through the middle makes me feel better about my life. Thank you.

[@victoriareads]

The B roll was great! Middles are good when your in the depths of the story and everything starts unraveling! I think that's also why they are hardest to write, you've already began all the plot threads but nothing is ready to tie up so there's a bunch going on. Glad to hear you're feeling better though! Keep taking care of yourself and writing!

[@rachelhenry4700]

I'm currently in the middle of my first book and man has my momentum slowed down! Thank you for making this! I feel like I can push through it! Just gotta sit down and do the dang thing!

[@kindle9920]

Your personality really comes through when you vlog, it's wonderful!

[@lindacobo1744]

I'm currently stumbling thru the writing of my murky middle. I definitely needed to listen to this today. Thanks again for your transparency. ❤❤🙏

[@delyseonduty]

Yaaay!!! This is my favorite series by you. Every time I get a notification from you I’m hoping it’s more writing vlogs ❤️

[@mckenziestaley9063]

Middles are the worst. I always struggle the most with them. Sometimes I want to delete it and just have the beginning and the end.

[@ELPages]

Yeah middles are so hard! I fell into a well of despair before managing to push through and finish half of my second act and my entire third act in a week. I am waiting some time before jumping into editing... I’m sure you will push through! If I did it, you can! I can’t wait to read that book, you are so dedicated it’ll be a succes, I have no doubts. Stay healthy, take care of yourself and it will be okay. Each and every struggle make you even better at your craft. That’s something you taught me after all!

[@elizalagonia1049]

I'm sorry it rained almost the entire time you were on retreat. I'm in the middle of the middle and there is so much that needs to get put into the middle. I've got the book kinda broken into thirds since it takes place in the span of a school year. First day of school to Holiday break, After New years to spring break and then the last few months of school. The middle should be easiest for me because it has the most outlined, but right now it seems like a list of things that happen. Making it flow is the hardest part. I've been having trouble writing the last couple months because of pregnancy with twins and having a C-Section and getting into a routine. This past week I set myself an easy word count goal of 3000-5000 words- I got to 3023 words. It's not much and I'm hoping that I can finish the first draft before my babies come home in (fingers crossed) beginning of April, but I figure if I can set myself weekly goals with the goal a little bigger every week I can do it. This week my goal is 4000 words. I think I can do that if I don't skip writing on days. I had two days of 0 words written.

[@kikoma4551]

I love your honesty! :-D

[@Agentmg17]

I love how you outed yourself "I did not" 😂😂

[@petitetaiga2714]

I hate middles. When I face writer's block, I just move on to the end of the story and start from there. I don't know if many other people do it too, but it helps me to set a clear ending before coming back to the middle, so at least I can know where I'm going. It's amazing to hear about your writing process. Your videos are very helpful, and much appreciated :)

[@meganharris6188]

I like you talking to the camera more than watching someone type to be honest lol. Good luck with the middle!

[@tinaholland835]

Alexa - If you and your fellow NovelTea'ers could share the planning of your writing retreat...that would be fascinating.

[@LauraTwoPointO]

Tina Holland I like this idea

[@tinaholland835]

I participate in an annual retreat, and I'm always curious how others plan theirs.

[@andia.4554]

Thank you for your inspiring content. Sometimes when I’m dragging my feet on writing I’ll pop on one of your videos and you get me so stoked to sit down and get started! I would love a video focused on the turn from Act II into Act III. As in, a discussion on what needs to be established, where the conflict/tension needs to be, and what the pacing should feel like going into the final act. I’m sure the same discussion on the transition from act I into act II would be helpful as well! Please point me in the right (write? Eh?) direction if you’ve already made a vid on this but I scoured your content and didn’t find it. Thanks again and happy writing!!

[@FeeBee3001]

Today is a perfect day for me to listen, this week is a writing slump week after 6 really good weeks of writing. Wrote every single day still but been slow.

[@angelxxsin]

Could it be the genre that's kicking your butt a bit, what with it being a thriller and all? Did you have this much difficulty with the second act with your previous books?

[@LadyofLetters]

Love your vlogs!

[@asteroid8556]

The retreat looked like so much fun! I'm so jealous, I wish I had a writing group like yours. I always were the worst at socializing, but now that I live in the US as an immigrant, I'm even more shy to talk to people. So far in the two years I've lived here the only person who didn't make me feel like I'm dumb or annoying because I have an accent was my wife. Also I always enjoy your vlogs (I do prefer them without the music, because it's really hard for me to focus on what you are saying otherwise), I find them calming and encouraging. Yours, Kat's and Shaelin's are my favorite writing vlogs, really. (Btw, thank you for the candid shot of Kat writing, she looked really gay, I loved it.) Hope your pain/discomfort gets better soon! And good luck with your second act!

[@Agentmg17]

I'm glad you're doing better 💜

[@BinocularsSwag]

LOL Poor Kat. "Vegan at a cheese factory" hahaha

[@nocturnus009]

I think you might enjoy Fits and Starts (2017) the next time you need a cinematic break. I watched it on Kanopy last month. Looks like it was a productive retreat.

[@Sailortwilight]

I've been in this same boat for a few weeks now myself!!! I am hoping that this weekend I will break through the wall and get past the muddy middle of my first draft too.

[@lazarusgray1188]

I am three pages from the middle of a 100k rewrite. This stage appears to be synonymous with meltdown. Stay strong, Alexa, the struggle is real all over. :)

[@StoryOracle]

Good job with the words! I think I'm stealing your stars-in-the-monthly manner of tracking word count, because I love it! I'm a weirdo, I love the middle. I hate the beginning. The beginning takes me forever... but I love the middle. I can make as big a mess as I want and do all the things! :) I vastly prefer the middle, which comes after I better know the characters and the groundwork has been laid for the conflict.

[@SteventheShoehanger]

Middles are where the story is made. I don't outline and let the story take me along for the ride.

[@DanicaChristin]

I feel you! But you've been making so much great progress overall. And I do love your vlogs!

[@broadwaybutterfly310]

You: *shows us the cabin bedrooms* My Writing Brain: Oh my gosh, there's only one bed! :O

[@gabrielabianchi1809]

The middle of my book went by so slowly for me... because I was writing without an outline, and I'd be getting my headaches, which only made it worse... but I finally finished the draft!

[@gnarthdarkanen7464]

Love the video!!! AND talking to cameras, improvising B-roll stuff, and feeling "weird" about trying to vlog in public (on camera, too) is all part of what originally made KZbin what it was, is, and probably should be... It's why we come here instead of watching Cable TV and "reality"... lolz. I am getting some sensation that the CHANGE in genre is giving you struggle(s)... My oldest habit around middle material was to scratch together "short-story style" material, while I "played with" the characters, world-setting, and scope or scale of the story... Whether typing it into separate files, or just scrawling it together horribly in notebooks and pads, binders, what-have-you as a separate entity from the "main story" thing, it lends a bit of "plausible deniability" and that releases agency like water... Maybe it's liberating to be able to throw together a few scenes at a time, in whatever order... just as they come to mind... SO in essence, you're still "pantsing" as normal, but you DO NOT HAVE to commit, not in the absolute sense... Sure, the downside is that you end up creating a LOT of "useless" filler material that may never see the light of day, but it DOES allow you to "get it written" instead of always focusing on getting it "right"... When you've got some stuff that "can fit" the beats you want, you can mark it (dog-eared in a notebook, for instance) or copy-paste from file to file, and even move the stuff around in "icon" form (assuming it gets collected digitally)... on the desktop before you commit to exactly how to weave it together... It might be of interest, in case you haven't (???) maybe pop over to Critical Role, from Geek & Sundry (channel on KZbin) or search "Critical Role" in the search bar... Fair warning, their story(ies?) are a bit all over the place, but they've started a crowdfunding for "The Legend of Vox Machina" (their first RPG Campaign)... AND a glimpse into "my turf"(?) as a GM in TableTop games and some of the most peculiar story-craft in the world might make you feel a bit better about "writing yourself into a corner"... Trust me, D&D gets... well... "off the rails" is a WHOLE NEW CATEGORY where we play! (lolz) AND at least, you can maybe look and listen to a session or two, (fair warning average game session is like 3 hours) or just fragments(?) and breathe a sigh. "At least, I'm not quite THAT far out of left-field!" right? ;o)

[@LauraTwoPointO]

It’s my dream to go on a writing retreat with other writers some day. I’ve been really struggling with staying motivated lately and your videos have helped SO much!

[@sarahbarker403]

You're doing great! I really appreciate your vlogs :)

[@rebeccaglenn7169]

Hey! ive been there! Welcome to Oregon! (HAHA you know you are in the NW when it's hailing and raining and snowing all at the same time....)

[@jessepruitt1423]

Love cheese and I'm from Oregon and never even been there! So jealous. Its motivating me to get to tillamook. Thanks for all the great videos Alexa! They have helped me a ton in my writing journey. Currently editing my manuscript with a published CP. Going awesome

[@lollyannaclark]

For me, it's endings. I am trying to end mine and I just feel clueless. We can do this!!

[@soniaballada7135]

Still in Act I, but I have an outline for it. Just have to write it!

[@GalacticShawn]

Hey i use those same star stickers

[@PhoebeWritesFiction]

I hate middles, but I actually hate ends more! It just gets harder and harder on my first drafts.

[@delyseonduty]

Alexa you got this!

[@NorthOfDark]

To paraphrase something I just heard today, failure is the act of not trying. By that reasoning you aren't failing. :)

[@gopro_audio]

I have overlayed 10 published story design methods, then compared them to what UCLA professors teach. Using a six-sigma approach I clearly see why "the middle is hard" it has to do with the chosen story design methods. Basically, books on writing won't or refuse to teach what the best story professors teach. If you want more info let me know.

[@gopro_audio]

If you have a good middle, you start with a 3 book series, not just one novel.

[@kathrynrossati-barron6351]

I completely get being burnt out from travelling, it takes me ages to get over it too.

[@veronikachristen2373]

Since your middle is the least outlined part, I would love to know - do you in general know what your midpoint is? Are you sometimes surprised what you find at the midpoint or do you change beats a lot, so the break into 2 is all of a sudden your midpoint turn (this happens to me ALL the time!)? Just curious, I find your process really fascinating and cool.

[@IsabelleMarot]

OMG I reached my middle about a week and a half ago and ended up taking a huge break over those days and only truly started again three days ago. Man, it's tough. I'm at that phase where I'm like is my storyline even good? Should it be this hard and boring to write? When comparing it to an older story concept that I outlined, I really feel that mine is lacking. But I have to remind myself that I'm fast-drafting and there's time to create stronger and more complex layers in the book when I revise. Thanks for the video and GOOD LUCK!

[@eruvandib.676]

I don't always struggle with middles, but getting through the middle of a short story I wrote last month was like pulling teeth. I think it's because I normally combine pantsing and plotting, but with that story I pantsed the whole thing.

[@NovelNanny]

Hi do you have a video about how to do a writing tracker journal?

[@iferawhite7661]

Middles are goddamn impossible. In the middle I have to force words out and then by the time I've already spent weeks and weeks writing the middle.. I realize it's all garbage and I have to start all over again

[@AdaraWrites]

Good luck! I'm attempting to outline my act 2 as well ^_^

[@kennethmatthew9638]

Must be nice not having to worry about ice heads breaking in and ripping off your copper

[@AmethystWoman]

Love you. Hate middles.

[@fbartolo]

If you ever need any help with law enforcement/investigation tactics, feel free to reach out as that is my professional field. Happy writing! :)

[@SysterYster]

Wow, I don't think I could write when there're so many others around me. XD Beautiful place though! :)

[@stephaniequinn6703]

I think middles are especially hard for pantsers. I know where I want to end up but not always how I'm going to get there and find myself mired in the middle, hoping I will be able to save some story nuggets in the editing.

[@mischiefmakerstudios9900]

That’s my problem! Often I will think up the beginning & ending yet I will be stumped on the middle or I will just think up the beginning with out any other part of the story to it. Am I the only one who faces this problem?

[@azurastar3223]

I have a question, you mentioned in one of your marketing videos that it probably wasn't worth it to pay an artist to draw your characters, but what if you are an artist who happens to write. Would it still be a waste to draw designs of your characters to put up on your platforms, places like red bubble make merch and give you a cut. And with a foot in both worlds of both writing and drawing would it be better to promote the art or the book or both, because both have different communities online, although most of my tastes in books differ from the mainstream so drastically I don't see how I would fit in with the book, or author communities to be honest...

[@julianfantasia9033]

The music in the retreat vlogs was sorta too loud and also pretty weird for the tone. You could have probably only had it play when you weren’t talking.

[@zeryyyyy6835]

My not at all pro tip for the middle is to add some deep dark secret like in my book you find out that one character was abused for a year and then his abuser comes back. Immediate action that doesn't do much to your plot but it fun to write

[@levispurgeon225]

Hey Alexa, I’m writing in 1st person from one character’s POV, but I was wondering if I could have other characters explain their backstory/ events through dialogue. For example, in one scene I want someone to have a Marian Apparition, and then them to explain to the main character what he experienced in the event for a few paragraphs. Do you think that would be a good way to dig into other characters’ minds? Thanks!

[@emyyoung135]

I hate writing the middle!

[@levyube1399]

I'm watching because I'm in my middle writing. Lol

[@Kaejennings]

I can not find brightly burning anywhere! Help! I wanna read it

[@AlexaDonne]

Where do you live? I only have a US and UK publisher, though both have distributed copies to additional countries. Book Depository ships worldwide, too, and it has the UK paperback for $9.99 (US).

[@Kaejennings]

I live in Indiana, US... Lol I've been looking for it everywhere locally.

[@AlexaDonne]

@@Kaejennings Local bookstores have probably "weeded" the title from shelves--but just ask them to order it! It would be great to support a local bookstore :)

[@TheWordN3rd]

Lol. I'm still learning how to do vlogs too.

[@malhalewell6846]

At least you wrote SOMETHING during the rough patch

[@brittneysbookshelf9491]

Okay, I see that planner a lot. And I think you mentioned where you got it in a video, but I can't find said video. Can you or someone that knows please tell me where that adorable planner came from?

[@AlexaDonne]

It is a Clever Fox planner! I quite like it!

[@brittneysbookshelf9491]

@@AlexaDonne Thank you! I just ordered mine. Those things are amazing! I know "plan with me" aren't really your thing, but I would really like to see how you have yours set up for writing.

[@platoniczombie]

I'm at 15k.. I'm hoping to get to 20k today. Wish me luck!

[@theatheistpaladin]

I get nose bleeds if it too hot and dry.

[@alexpaleale]

how do you organize something like that?

[@AlexaDonne]

The writing retreat? I just suggested it to one friend, and she took the lead on finding an AirBNB, then I wrangled all the other authors to go. Was pretty straightforward! Just have to pick a place, time, invite people, book it.

[@TinaMarieVlogs]

who else is so inspired by her?! ps im a youtuber too :)

[@icyglaceon4435]

The middle is the easiest for me.

[@Agentmg17]

Middles are the worst