All Or Nothing ((Rayna & Deacon))

I wish I could just put him off in a box somewhere and... not have to think about it anymore
I don't know how this happened. Normally it takes me weeks to finish a vid but I started putting together quotes for this in my head like 12 hours ago and now somehow there's a vid. Nobody spook my muse.
Anyways, Rayna talking to Luke about Deacon this week really stuck with me (although so over Luke and their relationship). We got more insight into where she is regarding Deacon than anything we've seen in a long while. She's scared. She spent years watching him spiral out of control and trying to save him and not being able to. It was destroying her but she couldn't leave. She loved him too much to just walk away and let him fall. As hard as those years were on him, they were just as hard on her.
When they got back together last year he had been sober for a long time so it was easy to forget all that. But then he started drinking and they were right back in that place. He was going down and she can't fight the instinct to hold on to him tighter. They both almost died. He was drunk and rightfully angry. She knows fighting with him while driving was stupid but he knows how to get to her and she doesn't know how to not let him. That's what scares her. Not just the idea that he could start drinking again and what that would do to her, what that would do to Maddie. But that she might not be able to stop herself from going down with him and what that would do to Maddie. So she's not going there, at all. She's going to keep her distance from him because if she lets him closer she can't help but love him. It's made this season frustrating as hell for someone who desperately wants them to work their shit out. But I understand her and tried to put it into a vid.