5 Signs of Disorganized, Anxious or Avoidant Attachment

[@DocSnipes]

👌More videos can be found on this topic at: kzbin.info/aero/PLcB3trehXswjSvwE8zV5YPISXOHgkH5I5&si=0YM6L9M7iZoG8d9K ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification

[@rosettesionne9139]

Disorganized attachment is the result of unpredictability and inconsistencies in relationships which is also one core element of narcissistic abuse. When the person you love or depends on seems to care one day and reject you the next, smile with you one day and insult you one moment later, says they will protect you but are the first to wear you down and attack your sanity. So naturally you end up believing that relationships are unpredictable and that it is worthless to trust others since they will eventually deceive you at the end but a part of you still crave for a committed relationship hence despite not having trust in others you still keep people at arms length due to fear of abandonment.

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

Amen. You said this perfectly.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@Portia620]

But does this occur with the children that weren’t be raided and put down. The mother was but the children were just neglected at times by one parent and also abused by that same parent but the parent that was home the whole time is blamed for all of it which that parent had PTSD

[@Portia620]

How about being fearful of lies and deceit does that count as this as well

[@ania4683]

​​@@Portia620 My mother was a stay at home mom who was preoccupied by my alcoholic father. I developed a disorganised attachment style, so yes, it is very possible,even though the parent is physically available. The problem is the neglect and abuse that the child gets.

[@Indielizard711]

This is my kind of attachment disguised as secure attachment. I’m introverted so the clingyness manifests itself internally. I had/have the mentality of do it before they do it, so I sabotaged a lot of relationships back in my day. I can be loving and stable and drop you the next day and never speak to you again.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. How will you start building secure attachment? Here are some videos on that: kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@aminahshentour8002]

That’s me… I dropped all of my best friends.. except one who has very clear boundaries so I never doubt my friendship with her..

[@sunbeam9222]

That's very honest on your part, thank you and what happened in my last relationship. He loved me deeply the day before, we were planning a trip abroad together, and so many other things, everything was well and the next day, massive U-turn over a text not sent on time which made him decide I did not care about them ( I was just very busy with work and my sick mother) he lashed out and that was it. Gone. Never spoke again. That was 6 months ago. I don't blame them, I know they can't help it but pretty traumatizing at the time.

[@Sunshine26762]

I’m starting to think this is also my attachment style. I tend to sabotage relationships and end things way too early if I feel like something has gone wrong.

[@babeyeahsweetie]

@@DocSnipesthe link doesn't direct to a video but the channel home page 🙏

[@moonv6648]

I thought I had avoidant style until I came across this video. Everything makes sense now, had a good cry looking back at my childhood memories. Thank you

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=attachment

[@MaryMary-sn7hh]

Me too! I cried too, it was like I was handed a mirror to look at my dysfunction 🫣😫😫😫😫

[@mshiferaw]

It's crazy, I thought the same. But evertime I listen in detail about how DA feels or acts it seemed to miss the part where I do have longing for closeness, I do communicate but I feel so rejected when my PA partner doesn't seem to meet them and I jump to conclusions that they are rejecting me. If I said parts of my need then why can't you meet them???? U must not care!!! It's a war inside. I go so cold to not hurt from it. Almost everything triggers me to push away. So yes I'm inside disorganized and outside dismissive. Oh it's actually good I'm getting names and labels. There got to be a solution cuz my 12 year marriage can't go on the same as it has, I'm setting bad examples for my beautiful kids. I have a good husband but between fault finding and constantly emotionally and physically hiding in my shell it won't be long before we are completely out of love and hate each other.

[@BrendaColin-v7g]

I always thought I was secure but I am until it gets deeper and until I notice a pattern change. Then I start to overthink and over explain. I am impulsive and tend to end things before they do etc. being ina relationship with a narcissistic man didn’t help at all… it just reiterated a lot of my abandonment issues. Ugh. Working really hard to reduce my anxiety in relationships but It’s hard

[@avataranonymous]

I put you on a pedestal when I am without you, but when I am with you, I only see you in disgust.

[@miaduana]

Funny it's the reverse for me. Out of sight out of mind. But when you're here let me breath your air. Sounds like the start of a great poem.

[@lsohweldfab6575]

Oh wow, nail on the head!

[@thedogcatreptileandplantla7169]

Holy shit yes

[@Owlet..]

The disgust thing is more common with CPTSD rather than FA.

[@Gemisnotmyname]

HAHA spot on !

[@Jen-ke3eh]

I am realizing it’s how I interpreted my parents own issues. They would build me up but tear me down.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry your parents did that to you and I appreciate you watching the video.What tips from the video will you start using to develop secure attachment?

[@starlight055]

I love how the secure attachment is the most "best"/safe but probably also the least found in people. 💀

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=attachment

[@GreasyBaconMan]

It’s 50/50 in people.

[@BuddylonB]

haha sometimes I jokingly curse those lucky enough to be secure attached. Must be nice. I'm joking though, of course. I hope everyone can heal and be secure and happy

[@DorothyOpati]

Actually most people are secure It is the most popular attachment

[@starlight055]

@@DorothyOpati is it?? 🙀

[@SPSHSP]

This was great, I’ve only heard of a few theories regarding the development of disorganized attachment, and this is the first time I heard the examples you provided, which completely resonate with my childhood, expected to excel academically, but then I remember in elementary school, having to make my science fair project, but having no help nor guidance only to come up with a project last minute and it be a complete flop. Funny enough, one of the science fairs where I didn’t get any ribbon I think my parents noted my disappointment, and then, when we walked by it again, there was an honorable mention ribbon but I’m pretty sure they coordinated that. Report cards were always lukewarm because I would never achieve straight A’s, and I struggle with math, which my mom loves, and every time I went to her for help she would quickly get upset and say “I don’t understand how you’re not understanding, I’m so good at math!!” as expected, I stopped going to her lol

[@catherineaubert2098]

Exactly the same with The science fair projects, she never would help me, or even ask about it. Never asked me if I did my homework just was only concerned about my conduct grades for which I would be severely in trouble if they were bad.

[@annmarygarcia1321]

I remember those projects. "It's your assignment and if I help that's just cheating. I know the kids win and their parents do a lot of the work. It's just a good lesson for you to learn in life. " I sure learned it, never reach out for help because it's my responsibility.

[@혼패리음]

Are u me hahah. I had such a similar experience its choking me inside reading this

[@Sunwolfy]

Thank you very much for this video. My boyfriend is of this attachment style (I know about his past and it's exactly as you've described). I have unknowingly been giving him what he needs to help in healing and he's starting to make friends and enjoy the company of others without feeling suspicious of them. Watching this is also helpful for me to know what to do if he does go into dysregulation (they are quite infrequent now and don't last long). We both have our own issues but we're able to work together and make a great team. This gives me hope that this relationship could last quite a long time.

[@DocSnipes]

So welcome! I appreciate you watching

[@finsterthecat]

How did you help him?

[@Sunwolfy]

@@finsterthecat I give him his space when he's dyregulating. He needs time to ground himself again. I don't let it get to me and maintain emotional stability and present for him a secure attachment so that he feels safe and secure.

[@Anotherguy1st]

Your boyfriend is a lucky man. I wish I could find a loving partner too, I just have to keep trying I guess.

[@zmbsoul]

your boyfriend is blessed to say the least. i’m happy to hear that you’re doing this for him.

[@KBinturong]

I am starting a relationship. It's crazy how often I tell myself : "it's over, it won't work". I know now not to act upon thoses tought but gosh, it is exhausting. And yesterday I did express my need and I feel scared to be abanndoned because of this. Because I was too harsh. Idk. And at the same time I feel I can't really talk about how I feel because I would look like the crazy girl with issue (which I am to be honnest). I have to reassure myself : it's not because you cross someone that they don't like you anymore. And it's ok not to have straight away reassurance after this. The hypervigilante state make everything a sign that he is pissed off and he would not longer be interested. And guess what ? It's a long distance relationship T_T (but I guess it's ok in the end)

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video and for sharing. I am sorry about that. When you tell yourself “It’s over, it won’t work.”, try writing down facts, concrete evidence for and against your belief. Try watching the videos on building secure attachment: kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@phoenix_rising1375]

Mine was due to inconsistency...I never knew what behaviors or which times I would be loved, comforted and accepted or shamed, scolded and punished. It created a deep distrust in basically everyone I meet. The most damaging part though is the distrust in myself. I want so badly to be able to trust and be vulnerable but I don't trust my own judgement due to choosing the wrong people to let into my life.

[@DocSnipes]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. It sounds incredibly challenging. Disorganized attachment can deeply affect relationships and self-trust, making it hard to feel secure and confident in your choices. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and the impact of your experiences. Please use my AI allceus.com/AskDocSnipes to find out how you can start exploring these feelings and develop healthier patterns. Please feel free to share what you found most useful from the video and remember, it’s a gradual process, seeking support is a significant and positive first step. You deserve to feel secure and confident in your relationships and choices.

[@linak1909]

Thank you for creating helpful comntent. There aren't many videos out there that explain what steps can be taken to overcome this. On a side note, to all people with disorganized attachemnt out there... hug and love. It's so hard for us, isn't it? Let's do our best to recover!

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?

[@shortiedeleon14]

this is so me. i’m trying so hard to heal this!! 😭

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. You can find videos on creating secure attachment at: kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@celestmcgonagill5288]

This explains so much! Thank you for this information! When I was six my sister, who was almost four, was killed in a beach accident. Based on stories I’ve heard from other relatives about what they heard my parents say to me after my sister’s death I’ve come to understand more of what that event did to me.

[@fringbabyross4718]

I was seeing an FA attached woman. It was so beautiful I’m the beginning. I thought she was one day going to be my wife. Then suddenly she was like a deer in the headlights. Wouldn’t hold hands, felt uncomfortable kissing, etc… stopped returning messages. Then when I’d go to walk away she’d come back around. Said I was the nicest guy she ever knew and I deserved better…and hurt everyone she cared about. She always seemed heartbroken about the last guy that disappeared on her whom she said was narcissistic. Pushes me away then I find her dating profile. Absolutely crushed and devastated. Was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in my life. I just never truly had her.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you watching the video. Here’s the video on Healing after a breakup: kzbin.info/www/bejne/boC9lYetm8dlg80

[@NoName-zb1gm]

I didn't go that far with the woman I liked from Church. I never would have bothered if I didn't see her on a dating site. Now I've invested a few years trying to win her over and now wonder if I should just give up. It's like they don't want the nice guy they want the thrill of the chase but they can't settle down into a loving relationship.

[@coco-051]

Thank you @fringbabyross4718 - this is just like my experience. Beautiful honeymoon stage only for him to flip a switch all of the sudden. My partner also got on the dating app, shortly after displaying affection. He was also an FA.

[@brittanygonda2217]

I am an anxious attached with avoidant tendencies, coming out of a short term relationship with someone who is primarily avoidant, displaying disorganized, diagnosed with BPD. The relationship ended suddenly and was initiated by my former partner while they were highly intoxicated. In the aftermath, and while researching my own attachment tendencies (because it always takes two), I came across this video. I knew about some of the specific, impactful childhood events from my former partner's life that molded their attachment style, and I certainly experienced my own. I believe both sets of parents were doing their best however this doesn't negate from the lasting pain it caused both of us, each near 40 in age. The knowledge shared here has created a lot more empathy for both my former partner and myself; yet the struggle to deviate from old conditioning is real, even with an awareness.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. I appreciate your kind words. It takes some time to heal and to build secure attachment. What steps will you take to start creating secure attachment with yourself and others?

[@SUNNofODIN]

This is it. I've been exploring the attachment styles and some of them fit in some ways but not another, nothing until now was a slam dunk as to "this is where you currently are in your attachment style." This was good to hear, I don't know how to describe it but I feel understood? At some level it feels easier to work on now, more energy in a way. Watching this video addressed much of the "no one understands the big picture of how I behave, I'm exhausted trying to understand it myself let alone explain it to others"

[@DocSnipes]

I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. Here are the videos on developing secure attachment: kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@edgreen8140]

As Diana Diamond states can not classify or combo preoccupied/ fearful avoidant. Often don't explain their needs but may use actions or various words to try to get needs met. Possible cognitive distortions. Emotional phobics who want attachment. Chaos which occured during childhood is sometimes acted out in adulthood. Attachment can be changed but one must put in the work. The individual if an adult can use interventions w a therapist.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=attachment

[@christyler8954]

Doctor all of your videos have really helped. Getting ready to take my CADC 2 test here in Oregon.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re welcome! Thanks for watching!

[@judeannethecandorchannel2153]

Very good! I don't my emotions swinging quite this wide. I don't go flat. And I don't *seriously* break up without a lot of reflection. But when I used to join my boyfriend to spend half the week with him, after a lot of preparation, and he'd kick me out 3 hours later, I'd say, "Okay then we have to break up. This is Intolerable. My mother is schizophrenic and goes off her meds and becomes aggressive, even violent. I specifically remember when I was probably 4 she slapped me while she was dissociated, then apologized. But you can't take that back. It creates a primal sense of uncertainty. (She may have BPD, as I've discussed with her psychiatrist.) So now I have social anxiety and the man I love and I have struggled tremendously to stay together in a healthy way. At present we're in contact but living apart, because there was escalating violence in the relationship. We're both extremely romantic, love to bond, until we come into conflict, then escalations and break ups. I now think we probably both have disorganized attachment. (In "How We Love" we would both be deemed too have a Vascilator love style. The same back and forth through opposites. I think we both have some capacity to feel stably, very happily attached and in love. But it breaks down, sometimes horribly. Once his home became my primary residence we fell back into our Toxic dynamic and I had to leave, which is a huge financial drain. All of which is just to say: When you grow up in chaotic circumstances, you also end up suffering through your own dysfunction. And then you have to take care of a mentally ill parent, when you never achieved emotional and financial stability yourself. It can be a nightmare. But knowing what's happening and why is very clarifying and that helps! Thank you. 🥰⚘️

[@Vikinka]

Thank you for putting the effort and time into such an educational video!

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching

[@NotInMYName_AntiZionistJew]

Thank you so much for this video. It actually brought tears to my eyes. I had no clue I had this, just couldn’t figure out if I was fearful avoidant or anxiously attached. But this really fits. My mother was a Jekyll/Hyde. I was both fearful of being emotionally hurt by her and alternately suffocated by her excessive neediness.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. I am sorry about your mother being Jelyll/Hyde

[@ozztenn]

Glad I found your videos. I watched a autoimmune/ mood disorder video and it was incredible. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us.

[@DocSnipes]

You are welcome! Thank you for watching!

[@ML-ku9bn]

Thank you so much for that video it turned out to be much more helpful and eye-opening than I thought. Now I am 100% sure of my partner's attachment style and it gives me tools to react in more appropriate ways. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What tips from the video will you use first to start building secure attachment.

[@ML-ku9bn]

@@DocSnipes for now I'm kind of considering how I try to get into a difficult conversation with him usually and understand why it's working out in such terrible ways. So for now I think I will take some extra time to process all the information and connect the dots somehow. And then listen one more time. But what struck me the most is how much suffering and insecurity there still are behind his behavior. So I think that will help me not taking it personally, and so now I see how my behavior of not talking anymore or ignoring him triggered his insecurities. That's not much yet, but hopefully, overtime I'll feel safer and better with that. And that's thanks to this video 🙏❤️

[@FirstNameLastName-oe9hi]

I am an anxious preoccupied and fearful-avoidant as well...when my anxious preoccupied attachment activates, I get over share, being very honest and open with that person from the start but the bad side is I get anxious, I get anxiety, I overthink, I vomit, I delete messages and the best part is that I know how to kill my attachment for that person and then my fearful-avoidant attachment activates and I become aloof, don't want a relationship with you, okay in casual dating you and don’t care if you are in my life or not and won’t get jealous at all, won’t get hurt I’m a mess!

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. For more information on how to create a secure attachment, to get answers from my videos, or to easily find them in the video library, please feel free to use AllCEUs.com/AskDocSnipes

[@EclecticCoach]

This was my childhood been doing lots of healing and growing around this Thank you for the video

[@mohibquadri4053]

Superb ! Doc how to tackle inaction habit which keeps us stuck in analysis paralysis..

[@AndrewFromNewHampshire]

This video described me perfectly, both the good and the bad. I had to cringe a bit as it felt like a mirror being held up to me, but I am going to rewatch it to let it all sink in. I think my growing up with ADHD and Dyslexia in a world that understood neither (I am 59) probably made connecting with others harder for me, but up until last year I assumed that my seemingly inconsistent attachment style was a character flaw, and not a legitimate MH concern. I still struggle with feelings that there is something inherently wrong with me, but I now think I might benefit from some sort of therapy. Thank you for your very clear explanation.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. Thanks for watching

[@fahima6186]

Thank you Doc we really need to understand all these stuff 👍

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching.

[@ticketforepic4429]

A word of advice: Resist the urge to become a recluse. It's easier in the short term, but you can absolutely forget how to socialize and connect. It's not like riding a bike.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for sharing that advice-it’s incredibly valuable. It’s true that isolating yourself can feel like a way to protect yourself from the pain and uncertainty that comes with disorganized attachment, but in the long term, it often deepens the sense of disconnection and loneliness. Socializing and connecting are skills, and like any skill, they can weaken if we don’t use them regularly. While it may feel safer to retreat, healing often happens in relationships and connections with others. Even small steps, like reaching out to a trusted friend or joining supportive communities, can make a big difference. It’s important to remember that we’re wired for connection, and with patience and effort, those social muscles can be strengthened again. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from it. Also, if you’re curious to learn more about this topic or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes.

[@luzianamejia5535]

What the heck. I literally cried while hearing this cause I felt so seen. Even though I never get sensitive while listening to facts. I couldn't stop seeing me in this one

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching my video. It sounds like hearing about disorganized attachment was a powerful experience for you. It's completely normal to feel emotional when something resonates deeply with your own experiences. Disorganized attachment can be a difficult topic, especially when it mirrors your own feelings and struggles. Feeling seen and understood can bring a lot of emotions to the surface. It's a sign that you're recognizing and validating your own experiences, which is an important step in healing and growth. Please feel free to use my AI to find out more about disorganized attachment and tips to cope with it allceus.com/AskDocSnipes. Also, if you feel comfortable, please share what information resonates with you the most. Additionally, consider reaching out to a therapist who can help you explore these feelings further.

[@Vixinaful]

Had a friend I suspect had this and he would be my best friend for a full year, we talked days and night to then turn in a second one day and attack and destroy for me. I understood it wasnt bc of me when I saw him doing the same to two other friends. Three different people, the same result so it's him. He grew up with a criminal cluster B father and a family in complete chaos. His two brothers also became criminals with violent relationships and he himself cant even have a relationship. He also seems asexual and uses drugs. Once I helped him get off drugs, he started drinking instead. I talked to his father once and I then saw how he was and that he had destroyed that whole family. I dont know how these people are helped, it doesnt seem possible..

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching. I am sorry about your friend. What tips from the video would you recommend to your friend to create secure attachment?

[@Vixinaful]

@@DocSnipes I honestly dont know.. He needs a father thats there for him, a safe kind manly rolemodel to take after but by now his personalitys developed so I wonder if its too late.

[@brittanycrawford6432]

Omg you’re right and I’m crying 😢

[@DocSnipes]

I am glad the video was meaningful for you. Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@meesh1002]

Probably the best explanation of this. Thank you!

[@DocSnipes]

You're very welcome!

[@pvnchdrvnk]

Yup. This is me.

[@rondacrozier440]

This is me also 😢

[@marryjane1684]

I've been listening to avoidant and anxious attachment theories and Im like I'm kinda both , this here u are explaining my whole personality it's creepy , except I don't think it's from my childhood because I had a very patient grandmother who never yelled !!!!

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching the video. I am sorry you’re struggling with disorganized attachment. How will you start developing secure attachment? Here are some videos to help out with that: kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@joanna538]

You’re the best therapist out there. Do you do individual sessions? I’m in the UK 🇬🇧

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching!

[@Lexi_Con]

Thanks Dr. Snipes! I think I'm an HSP... That considered: Idk if I suffered true abuse or neglect, but my parents both had dysfunctional childhoods (in very different ways) & seemed to adopt their own parents' child-rearing styles, as I presume most people naturally do. Could the old school "tough love" be considered rejection in some cases? Could the old fashioned "Do as I say" & "Because I said so" (combined with scolding, criticism, & lack of discussion or active listening/validation, etc) be factors in this attachment style or personality type? Dismissiveness, condescension & other NPD abuse existed, also. Understanding root causes helps, but I'm trying to figure out how to heal & get out of a bad rut & nothing seems to work, despite meds that help me function (for the most part). I have very little motivation... & ADD, depression/anxiety, financial & transportation issues make things worse. 50 yrs old & tired of life this way. Not really a life. Lack of decent Drs another problem.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re welcome. Sorry you are going through that. I appreciate you watching!

[@nathanmorgan3647]

Right there with you. 46, never had any sort of successful relationship. Live alone now. Parents from dysfunctional homes. Dad probably considered verbally abusive, passive and distant unless you got on his nerves. Do as I say cuz I said so was the parenting style for both. Your own emotions, thoughts and feelings never counted for anything, or was at least a far second place in importance. Just now finding this info and much of what you described sounds all too familiar. Right down to the wondering if it's even worth trying at this point heading into the downhill slope.

[@oc2538]

I have a feeling I was raised in this manner, I did go to therapy for 7 months but I couldn't connect with my therapist. I minimized things so I would not be am inconvenience and often felt like I was being a whiny brat. I have children and desperately want to get better cus I often behave the way my parents did. I always apologise when I am not regulated and don't want my children to be around me when I feel overwhelmed but that isn't obviously an option.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you're carrying a lot of awareness and responsibility for how you show up for your children, which is already a powerful step toward breaking old patterns. First, it's really common for people to minimize their experiences, especially if they’ve been raised in environments where their needs weren’t fully recognized or met. This can make it hard to connect in therapy, as you mentioned. It's important to remember that therapy should be a safe space where you're free to express your feelings without fear of being a burden. If you didn’t feel connected with your previous therapist, it might be worth considering trying again with someone who specializes in attachment issues and with whom you feel more comfortable. When it comes to parenting, apologizing and acknowledging when you’re not regulated is actually a really healthy step. It shows your children that it’s okay to be imperfect, and it models accountability and self-awareness. However, I understand the frustration when emotions become overwhelming and you're trying to protect your children from those moments. A key part of healing from attachment wounds is working on emotional regulation strategies-so you can manage those overwhelming moments in ways that feel more grounded. This could involve practices like mindfulness, grounding techniques, or even exploring different therapeutic approaches that help you work through those triggers in real-time. It can take time, but by doing this work, you're already creating a more secure environment for your children, even if it doesn’t feel perfect. Additionally, if you're interested in more tips on the topic or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. Reaching out for support, whether through therapy, parenting groups, or self-regulation resources, can be incredibly helpful as you continue your healing journey. It’s clear you care deeply for your children, and that dedication is already making a difference.

[@Sweet-T-v2v]

I grew up in a home where my dad hit my mom... only recently my sister pointed out that i push all my partners away when things get tough... i thought i had a dismissive avoidant style... but i realize i have a disorganized attachment style... i recently ghosted my ex because i felt like he wasnt hearing me and i felt unsafe.. i went from flat to empulsive in a matter of hours... so i am trying to heal myself

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you've been through a lot, and recognizing these patterns in your relationships is a big step toward healing. Growing up in a home where there was violence can deeply affect how we relate to others, especially when it comes to trust and feeling safe. It’s understandable that you might push people away when things get tough, especially if your early experiences taught you that relationships can be unsafe. Realizing that you have a disorganized attachment style, rather than a dismissive avoidant one, can be both enlightening and challenging. Disorganized attachment often involves conflicting feelings-wanting closeness but also fearing it, which can lead to behaviors like pulling away or acting impulsively when you feel unsafe. It’s not uncommon to react quickly and intensely when those feelings of fear or not being heard come up. Healing from this can be a complex journey, but it’s possible. It might involve learning how to recognize and manage those intense emotions before they lead to impulsive actions, practicing self-compassion, and finding ways to communicate your needs and feelings in your relationships. Therapy can be incredibly helpful in working through these patterns, but if that’s not an option right now, feel free to use my Ai to learn more about your attachment style, to find tips and strategies to help you develop secure attachment allceus.com/AskDocSnipes, and support groups that can offer guidance. Remember, healing doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. The fact that you’re aware of these patterns and want to change them is a powerful starting point. I appreciate you watching the video and I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from it. Also, be patient with yourself, and know that it’s possible to build healthier, more secure relationships over time.

[@lanagustafson1700]

I just had an emotional meltdown and it was exactly how she described

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry you had an emotional meltdown and I appreciate you watching the video

[@GabbyF]

I was raised in violence, my mom used to hit me and I was humiliated everyday, I lived in fear, I never knew what to expect from my mom, one day she hit me, the other day she hugged me and promised to never hurt me again, but she hit me again the next day. I'm ruining the only relationship I currently have due to all of this I went through... It's hell... I hate myself for that...

[@DocSnipes]

That sounds awful and I am sorry it happened to you. Thank you for watching the video. Here are the videos on trauma: kzbin.infosearch?query=trauma

[@AriD2385]

Thanks!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks so much for the support! It is greatly appreciated! 😀😀

[@sarahtaylor8214]

I feel half like this and half secure? Like... I worry if someone's mood seems different that they don't like me anymore, but I try not to bother them with those feelings and once a relationship takes its course over time I feel more secure. I'm not clingy or controlling and I don't really have impulsive aggresive behaviors and rarely ever start a fight. I have amazing emotional regulation... But do feel like detaching when people's energy changes and I get anxious which causes that. I'm not sure what that would be defined by but I have very strong and secure relationships most of the time? Unless I can feel someone pulling away and I feel dysregulated. I'd never leave someone because I feel that way though I think?

[@pixiebomb28]

This is the worst of the attachment styles, it honestly feels so impossible to heal from or manage. Sometimes i think it would be easier to either avoidant or anxious but both?? hellish and i struggle so much with not self sabotaging and putting myself first in my life

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry you are struggling with Disorganised Anxious Avoidant Attachment and I appreciate you watching the video. I am sending you some videos that help develop secure attachment: kzbin.infosearch?query=secure Thank you for watching!

[@trez6465]

I wish I watched this a while ago

[@zinebelkouhen]

I have all the traits of this attachment style, but not exactly the same childhood as you're describing. Can trauma create this attachment style?

[@DocSnipes]

Yes, trauma can create this attachment style. I am grateful for you watching the video. How are you planning to build secure attachment? Also, other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@chitichalamuka3580]

This is the worst attachment style i have been trying to heal from this attachment style but some times i feel i am progressing then their are days like this when I can't let anyone get close me

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry you are struggling with disorganized anxious avoidant attachment and I appreciate you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=attachment

[@chitichalamuka3580]

@@DocSnipes thank you I have subscribed..

[@Qofkidwhrbd]

I think this is what I have

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that. What tips from the video will you use to build secure attachment?

[@igorsimoescorreia4680]

thanks

[@briannaknudson2284]

Is this why i feel cold pludges are so powerful!?

[@DocSnipes]

It may be. Thank you for watching the video

[@ladyb7327]

Is it possible to develope this later in life? Like after a situation ship with a dismissive avoidant. I think i may have started off more fearful avoidant earlier in life? But worked on my self for years and thought i was "healthier." But now I'm a WRECK after what i just went through. Now i guess I'm just plain "avoidant?"

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for sharing your experience and asking this important question. Yes, it is possible for attachment patterns to shift throughout life, especially after significant relationships or emotionally challenging experiences. Our attachment style is often shaped in childhood, but it can evolve based on later relationships, trauma, or personal growth. It sounds like you initially identified as more fearful avoidant, and after working on yourself, you felt healthier. However, after this recent situation, it makes sense that old attachment patterns or new ones might emerge, especially if the relationship was with someone who was dismissive avoidant. Being with a partner who struggles to connect emotionally can trigger anxiety, insecurity, or avoidance-even if you’ve made progress in healing. Feeling like a "wreck" after going through something difficult doesn't undo the progress you've made; it's more of a signal that your attachment system is responding to the emotional pain and uncertainty of this particular relationship. It's common to feel more avoidant as a defense mechanism to protect yourself from further hurt. The key now is to acknowledge what you're feeling without judgment and continue working on rebalancing yourself. Healing is not linear, and setbacks like this don't erase the growth you've achieved. With time and self-compassion, you can work through this and move forward.

[@wisalal-harthi4898]

I have each one of those signs 🤚🏼😂🥲

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that. Thank you for watching. How are you planning to start creating secure attachment?

[@wisalal-harthi4898]

@@DocSnipes thanks for your response thats very kind of you. Im not sure honestly i know therapy is the best option but its also expensive. Im trying to practice mindfulness, to notice how i can keep my nervous system regulated and know what exactly triggers me. I believe i started off as anxious and somehow became a little disorganised or avoidant I’m not sure, anyhow, hopefully i can get rid of the fear and be able to enjoy healthy relationships 🙏🏼❤️

[@kristy_GT7781]

Is Anxious Avoidant the same as Fearful Avoidant?

[@DocSnipes]

"Anxious-avoidant" and "fearful-avoidant" are terms often used interchangeably, but they do have slight differences in emphasis. Both refer to individuals who display a combination of anxious and avoidant attachment styles, which can lead to complex and sometimes contradictory behaviors in relationships. The main distinction is that "fearful-avoidant" highlights the fear of intimacy and emotional connection, whereas "anxious-avoidant" might emphasize the anxious desire for closeness alongside the avoidant tendencies. Overall, both terms describe people who struggle with maintaining healthy and secure relationships due to these mixed attachment patterns.

[@JJ-rp2df]

Inconsistent unmet needs imbues unworthiness and inferiority, driving dismissive, and avoidant detachment.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video

[@sorintudor6062]

Jesus Christ! There is not one thing out of those u mentioned that i did not experience as a child :( I am 36 now. If I were to tell how my love life went... it s just f***ing crazy

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video

[@jaemaxx]

6:31 interventions

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching

[@ratm3133]

How is this cured?

[@DocSnipes]

Check out some of my other videos on attachment and addressing abandonment. DocSnipes.com/DocSnipes-Ai

[@James-dq3jo]

Hi Doc, Can I PM you?

[@DocSnipes]

You can contact me by becoming a member of the channel at kzbin.info/door/AE3JJi8tX7gfhZEXCUGd_Ajoin and, in doing so, joining my telegram group where I answer questions for free.

[@sarrystylesofficial]

I’m so scared all the time

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@sofiasaviranta5640]

..oh..its me..

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video

[@Nando_lifts2021]

I have a girl ive been dating and we have had sex a number of times in 3 months. Things were good but now she wants to be celibant until marriage. It is very hard for me to have the good romantic intamcy and then have it taken away. Seems abusive to get me hooked in a sense then take it away and say marriage first. Granted marriage might take years to come to furition.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry that happened to you. Here are the videos on assertiveness to help you state your needs efficiently: kzbin.infosearch?query=assertive

[@Shiro1987]

06:42 - 06:55 to a T

[@leftalone9881]

I have bpd, I thought I related to disorganized attachment. I become very disregulated and the only “cure” is my loved one, but in childhood comfort gave me the thought process of “help comfort me! … wait no this is gonna backfire and when you stop comforting me you’re gonna discard me. NEVER MIND i don’t need u >:(“

[@deborah8788]

I cannot begin to explain how challenging it is living with disorganised attachment. It makes it almost impossible to have a romantic relationship because of the terror that comes with getting close to another person. When you’ve been abused by the people who are supposed to love and protect you, it’s so hard to feel safe when in close proximity of another person. It’s so unfair that the scars continue to hurt way beyond the childhood injury. I keep trying but it’s hard not to just give up :(

[@Naan795]

We need to rely more on the greater love, the source, and not depend on others to be loved. Self esteem, Self worth, Self validation, Self love, Self soothing

[@Naan795]

We need to rely more on the greater love, the source, and not depend on others to be loved. Self esteem, Self worth, Self validation, Self love, Self soothing. You can do this.

[@rosieleat6868]

I hear ya! I can’t believe how accurate this talk is . I wish I’d heard it years ago - I didn’t know what the hell was going on I just thought I was pathetic and over sensitive. I have always chosen men who are unavailable in one way or another. I only realised I was doing this a couple of years ago. I am going to stay single for a while - romantic relationships just mess me up too much .

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

I so feel you on this. You are not alone. Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for..but you must fight against the bad programming of your childhood.🙏🏻 I’m working on this, too. It’s not easy but I keep telling myself it’s better than staying where I am.💞

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry you are going through that. I appreciate you watching.

[@Iamjustvisitinghere]

Thanks!

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for your support Alexandria

[@Gemisnotmyname]

i used to feel shame for my attachment style but now i see it with compassion. i see it as we are abused animals just scared things will go bad again. we need time to feel safe again

[@DocSnipes]

You are right. Here are some videos on creating secure attachment: kzbin.infosearch?query=secureattachment

[@themacocko6311]

Cool poem

[@athenafreya2509]

It’s also called Fearful avoidant

[@TheRockStar04261999]

As sad as it is, this describes me to a T especially the parenting styles with my parents having a very chaotic, dysfunctional marriage. Interestingly enough, while I have a bunch of the fears you describe (fear of abandonment, intimacy, rejection) I am grateful that I have been able to make good friends that I can open up to. Now to work on processing everything properly and healing so that I can move forward and become a better man for whoever my future girlfriend/wife will be, thank you

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching

[@sadie9386]

My mother drew a line around herself and her other children. I was not allowed to cross that line. My grandmother did the same. I have spent my life on the outside looking in, longing for what others have but terrified and angry and avoiding it all.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching

[@twillsJKZ]

Is there hope for this attachment style to ever have a healthy loving relationship? I’m 28 years old and wondering if there’s any point? It’s incredibly confusing for me and the person I’m in the relationship with. It’s like there’s 2 people living inside of me which can flip around at the turn of a switch, with an inability to understand how I actually feel about someone. It’s like; I really want to be with you but I also don’t want a relationship, but I crave intimacy, but get away from me you’re getting to close. Or I show affection and then get affection back, on one level It meets my needs of receiving love and on another level it gives me the ick. It’s fucked, I crave stability and a consistent consistency. I usually end the relationship because I don’t want to put the other person through it, it’s unfair in them. It’s grim

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching. Yes, there’s hope. I have many videos on the KZbin channel on creating secure attachment. The mnemonic for it is CRAVES: You can find the videos on creating secure attachment at: kzbin.infosearch?query=secure Please let me know what you think about it.

[@ieyona]

Anxious avoidant attachment style describes me so well. I hope I can work past these challenges and develop meaningful relationships. Getting close to someone scares me and triggers so many emotions that make me want to run and hide. 😓😔🥺

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching. You can find other videos that might help at: kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@CloverJ_Mermaid]

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

[@lupitaorta2716]

I think u will, I'm here cause a have met a great guy but lots of times I have almost ended things for fear of being rejected but he notice and lures me back in, I have expressed him how much times I feel so overwhelmed and how a can't deal with estres cause I feel the need to do something impulsive and just throw all away I also express how I think he will change any minute and not be kind to me, he got surprised and sad, I'm here cause I needed to know what was wrong with me, why I always have a neh overwhelming sensation, It hit hard I feel everything just make sense know that I know this I kind of feel stupid I always blame myself and I struggle to know who I am, but now I feel beter my parents abandoned us several time at age 6 and 8 and we stayed with a neighbor some months later on in middle school my mom was unstable my dad doesn't show his emotions or steps in to care for us and our emotions and just my sister has been more like a mom to me since little

[@QuilaGee]

❤

[@sawyerbass4661]

I think the reason this comes from chaotic households must be that, when someone else in the household flips from relatively nice to blackmail or insults, you'd have to react by doing the same, or practically begging for them to reconsider without guarantees. I remember when I was a kid, my brother would steal my teddy bear and use it as blackmail at random times. I remember doing both multiple times. I remember my mom hand-waving away concerns when she was on the phone, screaming at my siblings for the same thing other times, and not even noticing others. This makes a lot of sense.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching. What is your favorite tip from the video?

[@Photik]

It's learned behavior that you responded in the same way you were treated. Going forward, how do you resolve situations when people act out on you?

[@00ddub]

12 years of being called out and publicly humiliated as a failure on a weekly basis in the public school system due to my learning disability that no one knew how to deal with back in the 70’s and 80’s, and my own parents denial of my struggles, that was the biggest contributor to my Disorganized Attachment style.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@missvintage704]

omg,is it possible to get a disorganized attachment because of that? I got my adhd diagnosis only now in my 20s and I struggled A LOT during childhood and school years.I have a similar experience with my parents and the school system.I think i have a fearfull avoidant attachment style aka disorganized, symptoms and signs are there, my experience with friendships and romantic relationships are there ,but what is confusing me is that my family NEVER WAS disfunctional,i grew up with both parents, there was no phisical abuse, no addictions, no drugs, nothing like that. It just doesnt make sense. Even my therapist concluded that mayority of my trauma stems from school and bullying, not from the family. Does anyone have any idea?

[@HillbillyYEEHAA]

School should 💯 be tailored to every child and thier needs. I was treated horrifically in school too. The worst thing was they knew about my abusive homelife

[@JasminesRosesAndTulips]

I think I might be this cause I really wanna be in a relationship I love love! But like whenever I'm In a relationship I become very codependent and I also care so much about this person needs rather then my own and put on a facade to please them and I also never talk about my emotions cause I'm afraid to

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching

[@tinydanceryoutube]

I cared for 2 alcoholic parents who were functional by day and unpredictable by night. I had siblings to care for. The violence was awful. I never felt safe but couldn't let my siblings know. I went to extremes by hiding my brother in an upstairs bathroom while dad beat mom. Sometimes I had to call the police so mom could get medical attention. Dad always got out and threatened to kill whoever called the police. I haven't been able to identify a feeling let alone a thought want or need my whole life. I sucks at relationships. So I stopped trusting myself and don't go there. It's lonely and I dream of what heaven will be like. I hate myself & my life .

[@ania4683]

I feel so sorry to read your comment. Maybe try to get some therapy. It's so devastating to read you hate yourself while you're probably a pretty cool person in reality. Much love from me to you ❤

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry that happened to you and I truly appreciate you watching.

[@finsterthecat]

Sorry what you went through. My husband had 2 alcoholic parents and since I met him at 16 I witness the dysfunction. I too had a dysfunctional family as my mother was a narcissist and there was almost daily physical abuse. I get your anger. I hope you don’t give up on your on journey to healing and self love. I am 57 and still it is a daily chore to get beyond the abuse I received as a child. One of the reasons why I watched this video. To understand myself better. Anger can be healing especially if you were not allowed to express it as a child.

[@LC-ip5dy]

I am so sorry for what happened to you 💖 I hope you’re able to heal, therapy does wonders.

[@quentindaniels7460]

Im geniunely sorry, Victoria. It brings me to tears read it, namely the last two sentences, because I can relate so clearly to your pain.

[@JadeJaysen]

Not enough people talk about this attachment style, so I appreciate you taking the time to discuss it. Would love some info on how to deal with someone with this attachment style

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching, Jade! Awesome question, by the way. Here are the videos on building secure attachment: kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@asiaisreal7302]

Once I found out that my Mom didn’t love me, because she is a jealous hater who doesn’t want to see anyone thrive and my Dad is a drug addict who is completely self serving. Narcissist child father, Sibling abandonment because of Foster Care. It’s done for me. I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown when someone shows signs of liking me. I am so used to not being loved and supported it’s no point now.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching

[@melanierouge588]

I had that rude epiphany 2 years ago and I’m still “spiraling up and out” on the nervous breakdown, unfortunately my best friend 10 years left me bc of my raw nerves. I hope you get all the resources you need when you need them

[@cmc7507]

If someone looks at me lovingly, it scares the crap out of me. I immediately look the other way and get away from them. But I am comfortable with the fake psychos. 🙃 At least I have realized it.

[@Chelle_Vibes]

Since healed from this variety of attachment style, yet watching this video makes me incredibly angry at my parents. I'm doing my best not to blame them, but the fact they made me feel afraid and hated in my own home can't escape me.

[@vanessahidalgo3206]

Thank you for these videos! I always learn so much, and they even serve as a way to self regulate!

[@DocSnipes]

I am very grateful for your support

[@ripley7t429]

Imagine having this with CPTSD and being married to a BPD wife. I have been discarded for the last 7 years emotionally and physically. Just a wallet and a housekeeper. She will now move on to the next person and she has decided to live the lifestyle of BDSM. Good luck to the folks looking for a stable person that can consent to that, because they are in for a surprise. Just sad seeing 30 plus years disappear. Codependency is a real suck. Thing is the last 7 years seemed comfortable and familiar due to the childhood trauma. Sometimes things work out for the best. We both have our 50/50 blame in this. We have tried several times to fix things. One of us is in treatment, the other denial that they have any issues. I will at least get myself well.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you watching the video. If you’re interested in videos on cPTSD, you can find more of them at: kzbin.infosearch?query=cptsd

[@jamisonlamkin5576]

Yep I 100% have disorganized anxious avoidant attachment, how does one go about making friendships to help with this?

[@theunknown6034]

This question! I need the answer to!!! I absolutely understand how that feels

[@jamisonlamkin5576]

@@theunknown6034 I know right?! The struggle is real!

[@TheSwiftie467]

I have disorganized attachment, my mom was physically gone because she was always drunk. Somewhat emotionally there, but my father was physically there but emotionally absent.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that. What tips from the video will you use to create secure attachment? Video you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@ElainaMilkshake]

Just the title sounds like me. We'll see! 👍

[@kathyadair8552]

LOL Me, too.

[@nathaniel_pardue]

Basically if you re this way you're going to be alone.

[@carolyne8819]

Basically you are going to be alone not because no one can put up with you, but because your sense of self cannot exist in long term next to anyone. It is so complicated unless you get into a good therapy and have enough courage to go into the painful part. There are many people who are alone, but when you experience this kind of connection failure, I guess it s really hard to live with yourself and you will turn to different distractions instead.

[@lisak9308]

@@carolyne8819 I agree. I have been with someone for 1.5yr. I love and care for this person so much, I try to understand him, but no matter how much I try , something will set him off, even after I have walked on eggshells not to upset him. He got mad and gave me slient treatment for 3mths 2 weeks ago he called begging me back, of course I went back, and I tried so hard and put so much effort into making everything good, because of the pain I went through the 3mths apart. And I wanted to try extra hard so I wouldn't lose him again. 2 weeks later over the smallest thing he started a fight and left me again. I have learned no matter how much you love or show kindness to someone it will never be enough, its like he can only be around people for a certain amount of time and then he looks for a reason to get rid of you. And of course its never his fault. So they will end up alone do to their own actions, sometimes I think he just doesn't know how to love like no one else matters but himself.

[@carolyne8819]

@@lisak9308 sorry for your experience, I hope you move on as soon as possible. My avoidant partner’s words were exactly: I have felt so loved by you, but I sometimes wondered if I’d ever feel the same”. They just cannot acces those resources in themselves, due to fear of vulnerability and their own insecurities. Thats when the self sabotage mechanism comes in to ruin their attempt of connection. I am a secure person, but have felt so devalued in this type of relationship. His final intention was to stay friends (like he did with all his ex es) so he can reconnect when he feels safe again , for a short period of time of course. I said definetly no . He wanted space, so I ll give him the Universe, like someone was commenting earlier.

[@lisak9308]

@@carolyne8819 I shake my head that so many of us go through this painful experience. The real sad part of the situation, like you mention, they DO know how much we love them, yet they don't feel the same and keep us around for their own selfish reasons. And we waste our time pouring love into these people just hoping to get love back from them. After this time for me, I know I went above and beyond to show this man how much I love him, Yet I paid attention to my efforts and his No effort. Honestly I was the only one in the relationship, I now see clear and kinda foolish to have thought he would change. I am forever done wasting my time with this ungrateful arrogant person. The whole relationship it has been all about him, not anymore it's time it's about me! The next time he trys to hoover me out of the dumpster he threw me in. It's not going to work.

[@sarahmiller662]

Can a longterm relationship with someone cause these issues within a person??

[@auntieb3621]

I would suggest that they could. long term neglect could absolutely do this. one year in a person's life changes the person simply because of experience. would you agree? I have watched many elderly people develop this as well because of elderly neglect.

[@sarahmiller662]

@@auntieb3621 thank you for your response. I absolutely agree with you. Exposed to what now is believed to a covert narcissistic relationship for 4 years I believe this is the outcome and end result of that. Just hearing the underlying causes is what made me ask the question to begin with.

[@auntieb3621]

@@sarahmiller662 is so ... relieving for me to see patterns in a way that make sense. I can work with things I can comprehend. And if you see this now then bravo! Because that 'old' saying is true, knowing is half the battle! I'm proud of ya. Well done

[@JR-dt9ie]

Thank you, Doc Snipes. Been me for over 55 yrs, just finding out what makes me tick. I've decided to learn, adapt & enjoy the journey 💝

[@DocSnipes]

So welcome. I appreciate you watching

[@grindsaur]

Boundary setting ≠ Rejection 😮 That’s a mind blower… obvious when said out loud, but not really until then.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching the video. If you’re interested in video on building secure attachment, you can find them at: kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@grindsaur]

@@DocSnipes Thanks, I’ll give it a look, and thank you for making good and clear content.

[@agr8cutr]

TWNs= Thoughts, Wants and Needs for those not familiar with the acronym

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?

[@nickandrews2255]

Thank you! I’ve been looking for a video on anxious and avoidance. Always find videos on one or the other but I get both symptoms was wondering if it was bpd

[@Hizsoo]

It's called fearful attachment elsewhere. It has like 3 names.

[@DocSnipes]

So welcome. I appreciate you watching.

[@summersalix]

Is this style more common in those whom are neuro divergent (asd, aspergers, adhd...)?

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching. Not in all cases. How are you planning to create secure attachment?

[@storysplinters9458]

Thank you for the video! Even though I already knew this is my attachment style, it's almost eerie how accurate the descriptions and causes are. I've never been in a relationship, I rarely develop romantic feelings and when I do, it's usually aimed at people who are unavailable which, considering these protective mechanisms, makes a lot of sense. I've been to therapy and I've been journaling a lot. I also struggle to make genuine friends but I'm making an effort. It's really frustrating to crave connection but not being able to achieve it.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. If you’re interested in longer videos on the subject, you can find more at: kzbin.infosearch?query=attachment

[@Katpotter3000]

This is so well done! Thank you for this content!!

[@DocSnipes]

I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@bigsistarot5505]

I am terrified about how relatable this is to my past.. oh my..

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching. What tips from the video will you use to create secure attachment?

[@RachelPetersen2372]

Do you believe there are some people that have too much damage to repair. I'm the proof of that I have tried. I want to be not too much. I want to be anyone else but me. . I can't handle the pain I feel. I'm debilitated. Your show helps me understand more specifically the cause and effect . How I expierience things and how others do is very different and I am perplexed. Anyways thanks

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching. You can find other videos on creating secure attachment at: kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@GriffinWulf]

I feel so lucky to have a spouse who was patient and spent years 'courting' me until I finally felt comfortable enough to open up and enjoy any kind of intimacy without becoming prickly

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching

[@candace72]

I've noticed I have an anxious attachment style until I'm met with another person with anxious attachment, and then it suddenly feels like too much and I start to withdraw. Does this fall into the anxious-avoidant category?? I've only ever attracted avoidant people, so when I'm faced with someone more similar to me I get a little freaked out, so to speak.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that. Here are the videos on developing secure attachment: kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@ljmotivate4u680]

Wow thanks for your teaching. Spot on 👌

[@DocSnipes]

So welcome. Thanks for watching.

[@ca4816]

Thanks!

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. How are you planning to address disorganized (anxious - avoidant) attachment and create secure attachment?

[@oscar610]

Just discovered your channel today, i feel the info very relatable to my feelings, really feel unmotivated to do important stuff, i hope things get better..

[@DocSnipes]

Welcome to the channel, Oscar. I am so glad you are here. I am grateful to be of help. Thank you so much for watching. What is your favorite tip from the video?