Almost Died... Glad I didn't

[@vampirica89]

This puts all of my depression about my broken irreplaceable motherboard since 2 weeks ago into perspective. I can't afford a replacement computer either and it sucks and triggered me not being able to eat or sleep for days, but I'm in a better place now. You've had it so much worse. I'm glad it was a wake-up call for you and that you won't attempt overdose again. Don't give up on yourself, you'll find a new job and everything will come into place this year. Glad you've got your purse.

[@DigitalOutcast]

Hey Cat, watched the entire video, and i want to say im so sorry to hear what has happened. After everything that happened already this shouldnt have been added to it, but i want to wish u the best. You deserve it, u have held in there for so long and no matter what has happened atleast now u can push past it. Im glad ur still here, im sorry i cant donate anything i really wish i could or i completely would. But just want to say ur awesome, and if anything i can admit in general, ur smarter than i am, have a future or at the very least have potential for one which i cant say for myself really. And im pretty sure and hope this is the worst its going to get. I think since u've gotten through this it means u can get through anything at this point lol

[@ThePassing101]

Keep on going Catherine! You're a great and wonderful person.

[@taxidoll3]

Happy you're still here. At the end of the video, you sound very hopeful and determined for your future, and that's awesome to hear. Best of luck to you :)

[@Bluestar-1969]

+jakthebomb - Me to, last year was intense! Goal this year is to take care of myself better, think more positively, learn to love myself.

[@RedRider756]

Very glad your still alive. Keep your head up high. Have you ever tried to look for IT jobs working for the Government?

[@Bluestar-1969]

It's late here now and I'm so tired but I stayed up to watch your whole video. I started watching your videos for about the last 3 weeks now and commented on a couple of them. A lot of the reason I would watch them Is because you remind me of me in a lot of ways. When I watched this video, It just hit so close to home being that I tried to end things once in the same way, Just with different pills. After several hours of being wired to the teeth waiting for my heart to explode, I handed my father a suicide letter which I will never be able to live down. I gave it to him because I felt I made the wrong decision and never been so scared in my life. He never thought of me the same way after that. I was a teen back then. And even till this day, I think about how that must of made him feel, that his child would do this. It is just extra guilt that I had to carry with me through my life. It's also another reason I never told him that i'm trans, because I don't want to hurt him anymore. Something that I realized out of it was that possessions, family, jobs, friends, and everything else means nothing to you if your dead. You test the waters and found that you have another chance to make things better as I have. Now i'm much older then that time and things still aren't all sunshine and roses, but i'm so grateful for the memories that i've had along the way and to have that second chance. Take care and I hope they catch the bastards who took your stuff!

[@NihilistSolitude]

well on the bright side 2016 can't possible be worst then 2015 was for you. I wish you the best of luck in the up coming year and hope as a fan you will be able to get your life in order and perhaps be able to make great KZbin videos once again.

[@MegaMacedonianboy]

If you are gone there will be a big hole in my heart because you have a lot of meaning to me you made me look at life in a different way with your tech videos etc. Thank you and remember that there is always someone thinking about you.

[@PSYLODV]

+QuarkyRatchet We'll never forget about Catherine! I too refuse to see crafty, innovative, smart people like her leave us when there is so much misconception and misinterpretations out there that will hurt and confuse people to the point of...

[@PSYLODV]

I...I'm really sorry to hear such terrible things. You're still one of my most favorite KZbinrs! I'd really hate to see someone like you go. I apologize but, I'm not really able to donate anything to you. I don't really work and really can't make any money. I did work before however, and I might be sounding a little drastic since the one job I've had was a two week summer job but...it sucks...It really sucks just to NOT work. Right? Right Catherine? I really wish you all the best of luck! Please keep pushing forward!

[@MrChrisbtacos]

Woooow. I watched the whole video and I don't know what to say other than I'm so sorry this all happened to you. Keep your head up girl.

[@clicb4]

Watched all 40 minutes. Glad you're alright. Good luck on pursuing legal action in the various ways you described. Hopefully you'll have some progress.

[@Chronas9.9]

Catherine look i know you've been going through so much lately i probably cant even comprehend it... but you are loved. yeah i know i know you hear that all the time at times like this but you have over 9,000 subscribers. those people have been sticking with you for who knows how long. including me. i know this may sound strange.... But you are beautiful. you look great! you making these videos helps other better understand how you feel rather then just keeping it to yourself. please keep making videos, keep your life going. Never give up on life. if you commit suicide.... it wont be the same. not just for me but a whole of other people.

[@SuperSaiyan2NahumKai]

It sucks that law markers gives the police and therapists and some other professionals in the mental health field the power to hospitalize people against their will even without no proof which is abuse of power. They hospitalize people not because they legitimately care about people who are suicidal' they only just care about earning paychecks. If we the people want to take our own life then we should be allowed to do so without being held in a hospital against our will if we fail the attempt since it's our body and not theirs.

[@babydactyl]

Hours before you posted this video, I started to worry where you were. I got scared. I just now finished the video. You are worth it, girl. Go kick life's ass.

[@MLJ5834]

I love you so much! I've been a subscriber since way back to the sony rants. I'll have to admit though, when you came out as trans, I felt like you and your channel weren't the same. I have always been a supporter for any LGBT people, but you were the first person that I had to accept as LGBT, more importantly, as trans. I love you even more now. I love who you've become. I'm glad you didn't die. I just hope you find happiness again and live your life as Catherine!

[@spanaker]

I have been in psych ward several times for suicide and mental health issues. was not fun not all. stay strong Catherine. hope you dont have go through that again

[@cksphotography]

*hugs* Glad you are still here. I hope it get's better for you soon. I can relate to the job thing. I'm unemployed since a year now and not even get invited for an interview. Life and being trans sometimes reay suck.

[@jtech87]

That's some real talk. Glad your still here

[@lucxlauren]

You should sue their ass for leaving the door unlocked. Seriously, what kind of police officers does that!? And I'm glad your ok,, I know it sucks being hospitalized but at the end the day it's better to be safe than sorry. I hope you have a great year

[@Coolio7802]

glad your alive still. Please don't do this again your awesome. no matter what videos you make there still great.

[@mechamind90]

Wow. Not such a happy new year to start off. Well, things should hopefully get much better over the next few months.

[@Monster33336]

Overdosing on pills is an unpleasant death. Carbon monoxide poisoning is painless. I thought about it a few times when I was severely depressed.. Yeah and hospitals just make the situation worse..

[@BootedTech]

wow. I have no words. ♥ - cuz you're still here. I have something you can do. MOVE to somewhere you know nobody. I did this, and I have never looked back at my horrible past since.

[@COLINJELY]

Very glad you are still with us. Hopefully when you get back on your feet a bit more a techno-nerd like yourself will have no trouble setting up a couple of surveillance cameras at home??!! Hope the job hunting is going well??!!

[@COLINJELY]

Bon Voyage Catherine, enjoy your trip! 😊

[@COLINJELY]

+jakthebomb Catherine are you off to Georgia to play the Southern Belle? Will we see the famous Red Ballgown? I realise the local Police are probably not on your Christmas Card list, but did you speak to them and report your loss? Have you checked your local Pawn Shops, crims are lazy people, else they wouldn't be crims, your stuff was probably pawned locally! I am sure that whatever you wear on your trip you will continue being a delightful young lady! :-)

[@ravenna9969]

omfg i hope u do not have these thoughts anymore baby .... i so want to give u a hug

[@SimplyPops]

keep your head up high

[@JDonahue79]

Would love this year to start Ultimate Gamer Podcast again as well as tech and gaming stuff. Just because your trans doesn't change my relationship with you. But who ever robbed you has no brains. So as people who discriminate against you because of your transgender status.

[@NEWCHANNEL-tc2nk]

glad your still alive Catherine :)

[@xPokemonPlayerx]

Please remain safe.

[@SuperSaiyan2NahumKai]

Also the police officers who left your door open are suppose to be accountable for leaving your door open and you should sue the crap out of those officers for every cent your stolen stuff is worth.

[@PurseLover23]

I'm here in Vegas too and the company I work for is hiring. Direct message me for info.

[@Chronas9.9]

you lost a job because you were hospitalized? thats a bit unfair

[@TheSoundsOfTheSTown1]

stay strong

[@ryumonhozukimaruful]

Don't ever Fucking do that again.

[@SimplyPops]

:(

[@MONKEYHARRISFILMS]

Your asking us to pay for your bad life choices, I have empathy for your down luck but come on the only one that can get you out you out of this hole is you, pls don't Beg from cash , keep you head up.

[@sherryraza2316]

dear you need to make certain changes in your life other wise these issues will become a nuances for you

[@Chickenboi4eva]

Did they allow you to take your hormones at the mental facility?

[@Chickenboi4eva]

You're lucky not needing to DIY/self med

[@sherryraza2316]

dear you need to make certain changes in your life other wise these issues will become a nuances for you

[@Kurokitty23]

:(