alone but not lonely in seoul 📖 life as an introvert in korea vlog (self confidence, solo dates)

Head to squarespace.com/caricakes to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code CARICAKES
as much as i love building community, i also think that spending time by yourself is so important for confidence, self love, and artistic inspiration. i hope this chatty vlog helps inspire some of you who are a little on the fence about spending time solo to give it a try - safely of course! love always!
3:30 - how to be alone in a public place
12:00 - have a friend or safe zone
19:23 - wanting to share your experiences
21:40 - what you gain from spending time alone
🍐 My second channel: @caricanread
🍜 My Skillshare class: skl.sh/3s3v0nD
💖NEW VIDEO Every Sunday 8am KST💖
Music from Artlist.io
Get 2 Months Free: bit.ly/2Rs7UCG
/ urbanation
/ bbabym
/ twenny1
🌼 Check out my photography shop!🌼
caricakes.darkroom.tech/
☕ Donate a coffee?
ko-fi.com/caricakes
💖 FAQ
What’s my job? - • a work week in seoul, ...
Where do I live? (Korean apartment tour) - • Apartment Hunting in S...
Where am I from? - • Cross Country Road Tri...
You can also find me here:
Instagram: / caricakez
Twitter: / caricakes
Website: www.caricakes.net/
Spotify: spoti.fi/2NsNdbY
how to be alone but not lonely 🪺 life as an introvert in seoul korea vlog

[@marta578]

“Even if you trip, in a couple of minutes you’ll be surrounded by people who never saw you trip” It’s such a simple sentence, but it changed so much in my mind…

[@caricakes]

Hahah yep just walk away fast 😂😂

[@alexhika]

A little tip from someone who loves travelling alone: places (especially cities for me) have a personality. I see them as living creatures, with their quirks and their uniqueness. So whenever the thought of exploring alone seems weird, remember you're not truly alone, you're hanging out with the city and getting to know them ❤ (100% agree, having writing tools is like having superpowers ✨)

[@christinejoymananita1573]

You aren’t being watched, they are the ones being watched by you because they’re too busy in conversations with their companions to observe other people 😆 You can do this guys!

[@caricakes]

👏

[@MK-iy4wt]

@@caricakes …are you ND? I feel that fear of being perceived WITH MY SOUL 😅

[@targetedinsanfrancisco9895]

I have v2k and synthetic telepathy, they watch our thoughts, feelings, and our soul hue!

[@julianalfarochacon3842]

Actually, one of my favourite things to do alone is going to a café haha. I always carry a book with me, have a drink, go take a look at the closest book store, wonder around a park (if there's any in the area), take photos, and go back home after a couple hours. It's like a ''me time'' where i do what i like, as long as i want, without having to follow someone's else schedule. Like a mini vacations for myself hahaha

[@caricakes]

Exactly!! My mind craves those moments hahha

[@seyiosinubi]

this is so interesting to me! im an introvert who also loves being alone in public spaces! honestly, the main thing that makes me anxious is my safety but otherwise I find it very healing. i also realised that I surprisingly love eating alone in restaurants, or at least have never felt conscious about it before lol

[@caricakes]

Eating alone anxiety hits me at the weirdest times! I think more casual places help (and i never feel weird eating in cafes??) but a sit down restaurant by myself? Im still working on that 😂😂

[@theskydeity]

as an only child and a big introvert who didn’t have a lot of friends growing up for numerous reasons i like doing things alone - from going to cafes, museums etc to solo travelling and queuing up early for concerts. sometimes my social anxiety tries to sabotage me and i need to keep persuading myself to leave the house, but i usually end up having fun and being glad i actually did it. there are still days when my social anxiety wins and i don’t go or i go and get really anxious, but i have learnt to accept that it’s ok to have these bad days and to try again next time.

[@caricakes]

🙏🙏🙏

[@kathleenm.5086]

“Every day the world gives you a gift.” I see things this way too. I think of it as looking for my “little moment of awe each day.”

[@rinnie2781]

a few years ago i felt uncomfortable even walking outside, constantly felt like i’m being watched. and i couldn’t imagine eating in a cafe alone or something like that. then step by step i gained confidence by putting myself in all kind of situations. i grabbed coffee to go, went to a bookstore, set in a cafe, went to the hospital, to job interview. and the more things i did alone more comfortable i got. now i’m comfortable in all the situations☺️ and i loveee to spend time just by myself

[@lauren.0731]

Something that I always remind myself about whenever I’m confronted with doing something alone is that I will likely regret missing out on amazing travels or concerts or movies because I was too scared or anxious to do let myself do it alone. It’s definitely not a skill that necessarily comes naturally, but eventually I just realized I’d rather do it alone then not do it at all - plus literally no one will judge you for being alone, if anything I get more comments about how brave I am than how it’s pathetic/sad/lonely. Don’t miss out on life because you’re waiting for someone to share it with - you can share it with yourself!

[@moonmon77]

one interesting thing that came to me when You Cari mentioned "some people don't have a place where they can go to" (similar to that). That whenever eg. im in Türkiye I read much more as there are more cafes and book cafes in almost every corner, I always grab my books with me and finish more books there as when I am back in Germany as we don't have a lot of cafes where you can just solely sit for a cafe and a cake. Mostly you have restaurants for pizza and kebab shops or a bubble tea space without seating. So I realized, indeed having a place for just sitting with a book and a coffee (or cake) makes a lot of difference :)

[@nadabellamine5247]

I went to Malaga for 4 days solo and omg, it was the best trip I've ever been to. Having crepes for diner, booked a boat tour, explored castles on my own. It was so so special to me, eventhough i also enjoy trips with my partner. But, solo travel just hits different. In my town though, I'm terrified to taking cabs and it's the only way to get to my town's park or beach or cafes, but working on that. Thank you, Cari, for choosing to talk abt this topic ❤

[@lina_byoui]

we love the art of being alone but not lonely + people watching ✨✨

[@ytxx402]

I lived by myself for about five years from 17-22, I was uncomfortable at first going out to eat by myself, walking by myself, etc. But the first city I lived in was San Antonio, and what helped was how walkable that city was. I would walk all day and there were some days where I would walk almost 20 miles without even realizing it. I grew to really enjoy traveling and being by myself. I have a trip coming up in July where I'll be in Japan for four weeks for an internship, but after that, I'll be in Seoul and then Tokyo by myself and I'm actually really really excited to explore those places by myself. So much time to think and do whatever I please. I enjoy sitting in places and people watch for hours and just enjoying the moment. I don't know why but it's really soothing for me.

[@CrankingMyReading]

I think I stopped being anxious and awkward about going out alone once I started learning how to drive. Learning to drive was so hard that I don’t think there’s anything that can make feel more stressed, anxious, and panicky than that moment in time.

[@hanumaprilia]

This video seems like a sign from the universe for me! As an introvert, I usually find it no problem to go around by myself. But, I just moved to Korea this spring with a new mindset of wanting to change myself and be more social. Only 2 weeks in and I’m already feeling blue because I haven’t been able to connect with people on a deeper level (not just saying hi and chatting for a while). I feel like a failure and more lonely than ever. Everytime I have a meal alone or strolling by myself I feel like I’m pathetic. BUT this video makes me realize that there’s nothing wrong with small talks and finding comfort in being alone. There’s nothing wrong with my old self that enjoy her time alone reading in a cafe and people watching at the park. I have given an effort to create a friendship (initiating a conversation with strangers which I have never been able to do before) and it should be enough for me to feel proud. Also, it hasn’t been that long so as I’m writing this I realized that I can’t forced a friendship in such a limited time…. and If that doesn’t work in the ends, so be it. You are enough. You have yourself as a faithful friend.

[@carolpingel39]

The “one thing on my agenda” issue is a struggle for me as well 🤦🏻‍♀️. I have to be able to mentally prepare myself. Nothing puts a damper on my day faster than if the ONE store I’ve prepared myself to go to for the day doesn’t have something I needed. I envy the ppl who can easily go to a follow up store when necessary.

[@georgiaducharme6479]

I'm very good at being alone nowadays, and I definitely recommend cultivating a "cafe hobby," like knitting, writing, coloring books, sketching, that is easy to take with you and doesn't require a whole big setup. You can work a few hours on something you enjoy and it's nice to get out of the house and have a change of scenery. I'm also a BIG fan of going to the movies alone. Although it's nice to have somebody to make comments to throughout the movie, watching movies is a basically solitary activity and nobody is judging you for going alone. and you don't have to share your popcorn!

[@audreyarnold3004]

My marriage ended somewhat unexpectedly last year. This video means so much to me because I can say that I was PARALYZED from the fear of being alone all of the time. This video was both helpful and reassuring, as I've been on a journey of spending time alone and being okay with that.

[@annabellehelin7716]

i used to be scared of going places alone without my phone or without something to do (like my phone or an activity) because like being alone to me meant you had no one and that was a scary thought to me at the time. I think around a year ago was when this started to change because i was in a very emotionally heavy friendship that took so much of my life and mental space that i started to cherish my time alone when i can just think in my own head about my own thoughts without having to worry about the other person’s emotions. This morphed into me taking a lot more “quiet moments” like enjoying the time i spend driving in silence (i know, horrible) or just people watching when i’m walking between classes 😊

[@BlessedForever888]

I think it's about feeling confident in one's own skin, and I noticed this gets easier as I age (I am now 40). I bet by age 50 or 60 I am going to be super at ease x 100

[@missnaturalify]

I lived alone for a year in Paris, of course I have some friends that like to hang out with me but I usually spend my day alone. Whether I went to a cafe or just sat on a bench in a park, I always bring my journal with me. At first I just done it for my weekly assignments as I was a creative writing student, but then it became a habit. I just wrote everything that I felt and I saw at that time. Sometimes if I forgot to bring my journal, I wrote it on the notes on my phone. When I looked back at it now, it really helped me to feel comfortable being alone. I think it is the greatest way of be alone without being lonely✨

[@DPheart]

I really identified with what you said about being a people pleaser and genuinely being happy with whatever as long as the others are happy, but then also learning more what you yourself like from being alone! I'm totally the same. And I think that's why hanging out with just myself gives me so much joy, cause then I feel truly free to just do and enjoy whatever I want :) You've really inspired me these last couple of years to really treasure my little adventures and also to dare to solo-travel! So thank you for showing the beauty of these things

[@caricakes]

Exactly! And 🥲💗🙏

[@IllegitimateIlliterate]

That's so true about travelling with others vs travelling alone. I make memories with others but I truly find peace by myself because I see so much value in just walking around. In London I did 40k steps and my feet were literally bleeding but I came home so relaxed and refreshed and all I did was walk and go to bakeries and go see hamilton at Kings theartre

[@Dat1person_]

omg i feel like i haven’t watched one of ur videos in forever😭 ur honestly one of the most relatable vloggers ever!!

[@caricakes]

welcome back :''') thank you!!

[@happyreadingwatching1597]

I have never been afraid of doing things alone except traveling. Honestly, I never had a desire to until I started following you. Now, in a few months, I'll be going to my 1st solo trip ❤

[@citydesk4527]

There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. I have felt lonely whilst being amongst lots of people because I felt I had nothing in common with them. I have been alone in big cities and not felt lonely because there seem to be lots of others who are on their own.

[@magdalena4153]

I like cooking and eating alone... shopping, walking and running alone. As a mother of two children, I appreciate the moments when I hear my thoughts :)

[@Tarmachan]

I was incredibly shy and awkward when I was a teen, but in my mid-20s during my PhD I got to travel to the USA for work, and I reeeally wanted to go see, like, Death Valley and Yosemite, and other nature places, but no one else was available. So I rented a car, and drove myself on a week long trip to a load of out-of-the-way national parks. It was incredible, and ever since then I've really grown in confidence travelling alone (it was awkward at first to ask "table for one" so much but it goes away with time). I'm female, so I make sure I'm aware of safety (especially at night), but I've had so many incredible adventures since. And actually, travelling out in the middle of nowhere has given me more confidence to be alone in the city at cafes and stuff lol (smaller adventures, but adventures nonetheless!). I still get anxious about it from time to time, especially in cities, but having had such great experiences gives me a push to get over it a lot of the time now. Great video, Cari!

[@shannonkirkpatrick6161]

As I watch this, I’m sitting at a cafe-alone, in a new city that I arrived to just yesterday-and I feel so supported and content 😌

[@azahrashn]

Comes from someone who really enjoy my own company up until highschool , Then college came around and moved out and lived in the university area which friends was lived close to one another and for the next 4 to 5 years i always had a company almost 24/7. Then life happened as we all knew, then back to being by my self, i was afraid and forget how to enjoy life by my self. And yes what u said was true, i just forced my self to go out alone, and now 2 years later i’m thriving that i already went everywhere including travel by my self, and i hoped you guys too will find it soon❤❤❤

[@cj-gunn]

how do people find out their likes, dislikes, values, opinions, icks, annoyances if they are never alone... you find yourself in solitude

[@caricakes]

💯🙏🤍

[@ottiannatrabertina]

This feels like a vlog ill come back to when i seek comfort

[@caricakes]

thank YOU always! ❤

[@ana_bigul]

omg, I second everything you said about being the people pleaser and figuring out my own favorite places, dishes, and activities! I noticed a change in my perception of going somewhere alone when I moved to a different country. I didn't have friends yet and still was interested in exploring the city, so I guess it's curiosity that made me do things alone?.. also, I was imagining that maybe for someone I would be that cool mysterious person in the corner reading her book/sketching and it gave me courage to do stuff I like :D

[@grarq9263]

I love doing Airbnb trips to new places with my dog. I think for me that's the happy medium, where I feel confident and like I have an "out" but I can be alone (kind of) and explore.

[@naomicorbet612]

I used to be very scared of doing things by myself but then I went to uni and there were so many things I wanted to do but no one to do them with. I didn’t want to miss out on doing things just because I would have to do them by myself so I started small and eventually worked my way up to going on solo trips. I still get anxious before sometimes but I know that the experience I will have it worth it 😊

[@anyaguinzbourg8609]

I found that Covid was great practice for me hanging out by myself and learning to love it. I learned that going for walks outside brought me peace, and I found great spots to sit outside and read. Also, if inner thoughts are an issue, I like to curate myself a playlist and just wear my AirPods/earphones outside and listen to music whenever I’m doing an activity alone 🥰

[@clevelandrocks8]

It's so intriguing to me that people worry about not having someone to "share" things with when it comes to solo travel. I'm so introverted that it's something that has never crossed my mind. Like if I'm traveling solo and visit a museum, I can take as much time as I want to look at a painting, exhibit, item, or whatever it may be. I can sit with my feelings, I'm analyzing it, I'm enjoying it's beauty, maybe it made me think about something in a new way. But I don't feel like I need someone with me in order for that to be a meaningful experience, or to validate the things that I'm feeling. Like you, if I'm traveling with a group I'm usually worrying about everyone else's experience, whether they're having a good time, whether they're bored, whether they want to do something else. I love my friends dearly and enjoy spending time with them, but I like being alone with my thoughts and feelings too. And if a painting is that mind-blowing and has changed my world, I'll share it with them after.

[@shannonkirkpatrick6161]

I used to feel so awkward being alone when solo traveling, or really doing anything alone. But I really do think that awkwardness fades (slowly at first) the more you push yourself to go to that cafe or bookstore just because that’s what you want to do. I feel like I’ve come so far-today, I’m in Denver for the first time, and I just finished talking to fellow graphic designers at a studio (that I reached out to cold-email style!) and had such a nice, flowing conversation. And now I’m sitting at a cafe, people watching and reading. And I’m considering wandering over to a nearby bookshop. I’m no longer aimless-I have a direction for these days that I find myself solo, and have come to love these moments.

[@mikacarrington819]

Very interesting! I found ways around anxiety after i got a dog - not because he got me outside more or anything, though he did, but because he was really anxious around people. I started opening with people who were interested in petting him: "go ahead, he loves people but he is really socially anxious so it might take him a minute" and literally EVERYONE has responded from a place of empathy having also felt that social anxiety. I now find ways to acknowledge when im feeling awkward in new places/situations, etc and people have always responded kindly

[@reeseosbornestudios]

"The gift" love that so much Cari! After my divorce I had to decide if I was going to allow that situation to rob me of my joy or not. So I had to learn to be happily alone, in a cafe etc. The benefits of traveling abroad alone is I can do whatever I want. I can be open to seeing the "gifts" in those moments. Lovely as always 💕 ⚘️

[@KillMahh]

It almost feels like this video was meant for me to see right now because I just got to Seoul a couple days ago for a solo trip. I have no issues being alone back home but being here is so different. This was the motivation I needed today to keep living freely and doing everything I want here even though I am alone. Thank you ❤

[@mbae123]

The song choices this vlog is nice. Its perfect for an alone but not lonely playlist

[@pendragon2012]

Yay! I was just sitting here thinking, "Cari, don't leave me hanging on Saturday night!" 🙂I too enjoy being alone. Hope your weekend is going well!

[@caricakes]

❤❤❤

[@thewingedbone9142]

this is very timely to me 😅 I’m currently on a 4-month long solo trip, and even though I have travelled extensively before alone, and I’m so used to it (and enjoy it) the one thing that makes me incredibly anxious is going out for dinner alone. I can do breakfast/lunch/cafes etc. But dining even makes me feel lonely at times, cause usually that’s the time you’re more likely to be surrounded by groups of friends/families, having a good time, etc. I also find I feel intimidated when the restaurant/cafe only has big tables, clearly meant for groups of people and it makes me feel bad that I’m occupying a space that could easily fit 4+ people. So I end up getting take out and eat back at my hotel room 🥹

[@caricakes]

Oh my gosh 4 months is a looong time!! I totally agree - something about dinner feels more intimidating. But i also love getting take out and eating in my room reading or journaling so 😂

[@Tarmachan]

yeah that's the hardest thing for me solo travelling- I think part of it is just the absolute social conditioning we've had from the media etc that dining alone means you're a lonely loser! But I've started to say to myself things like "a table for two is the same space taken" and "my money spends just the same!". I usually watch something on my phone or take a book, and I've been training myself out of the anxiety- it IS socially acceptable to take a book to dinner in a nice Italian restaurant, I will singlehandedly make it so! 😂 I hope your trip is going well!

[@Bratza100]

I used to love being on my own and doing stuff alone, until me and my partner broke up. Now it makes me actually feel alone to do things with myself. Hoping I will be able to find my way back to not feel so alone ❤ loved this video!

[@rosel2366]

Thank you for opening up the conversation about doing activities alone. A lot of people find it taboo or when people tell me “oh I could never do that”. It’s nice to hear your thoughts and ideas about this❤

[@Kokechii]

I am very lucky that I live in a place where I don't have to worry about safety that much, but I am deeply aware of it when I travel. Really loved what you said about "a gift a day", that's such a lovely way of looking at things. I'll add that if you are able take a picture of that gift so you can look back at it later on and smile :) As an introvert I consider going out by myself like taking myself to little dates. Going to a gallery or a museum, drinking new coffee, trying new food etc. It makes it easier! Sometimes the bigger problem is convincing myself to go out at all, because I love to stay inside, but I'm working on it.

[@sasviwijesinghe5197]

your videos are always so cinematic, and those little music filled montages are such a treat!! i revisit your videos all the time and you embody such a sense of home and ethereal love in these videos, so much love for you cari!!

[@caricakes]

oh my goodness thank you so much :') love back to you~

[@jelenaR5]

cari i swear to god you have helped me more then any psychologist or meds lol i have also started going out alone because of you, also filming and taking pictures of the scenery personally my biggest issue with going out alone is that wherever i go i feel like i need to spend money (specifically talking about ME time here), like coffee, food, clothes, books, i can find a good excuse why to get out of the house, but it always gets back to spending more money. And i don't mind that usually, but since i've realized the little mental health walks i have are something i need to do daily, as a student it kinda gives me even more anxiety knowing how much i've spent, even if its splurging on myself as a treat

[@PrincesaRei]

Surprisingly, you are my biggest reason I can be alone now! I moved from the desert in California to Pittsburgh and I have zero family here. I have used your videos as inspiration, I started taking books and my computer with me because I noticed you tend to bring something to do with you and the first time it was so scary but once I did it, It's all I want to do when I feel stressed. I definitely feel more in tune with myself because of it as well. I feel like spending time doing things I like without worrying about someone else is really what has helped me firmly plant myself in my own existence.

[@mayax1sdjfk77]

i made the mistake of drinking coffee on a day i was slightly anxious. and i’ll spend the rest of today by myself, and i’ll also be traveling, which is something that always gives me anxiety despite me doing this journey often. but i watched this video while eating my lunch, by myself in the library, and it really calmed me down. so than you :))

[@trivia-love]

i really resonate with all the tips you mentioned in this video. i have social anxiety and love being alone - i just hate going out to places where most people are with another person. the first thing that helped me was going to places i have already been with someone. I'll already know the environment, the process and what is available there (in a café or restaurant, for example) and that takes away some of the initial nervousness to even go there. now for checking out new places/travel i always ask myself: i really want to go there but i won't if i have nobody with me? and how i would miss out on things I enjoy, like going to a concert. i still have some things i can't do alone and i still feel very uncomfortable in some places, such as Restaurants/Cafes but there are also things i can and even enjoy on my own now! just yesterday i went to a nearby city all on my own, to an event at a book store. afterwards i got myself boba and then walked around the city. i got hungry and got something i've wanted to try for a long time: i got it for takeout because i was scared of sitting down but i still went - a small win!! in the evening i even went to the cinema alone, bought a ticket right there (not online) and sat down by myself, something i actually love doing now! i could not have done that 4 years ago. i've also been in therapy and on medication for some time now, but i still think doing things like this step by step can really help you out a lot, and watching your videos has also helped and inspired me a lot in the past years!!! :)

[@mari-ut6rb]

I really loved this video and the way you phrased everything 💖 It's nice to have spaces to share with people you enjoy spending your time with, even as an introvert sometimes doing all by myself was kind of sad, but as time goes by I'm so happy I'm so comfortable with my own company and don't limit the things I can't do because I'm afraid of doing them by myself. If I had been to scared, I wouldn't have traveled abroad, found amazing cafes, seen cool art exhibitions, been to concerts, tried new foods, etc. because at the time I either had no one to go with or simply didn't feel like my social battery could handle a companion.

[@meursaultscourtroom8886]

Best thing about going places by yourself is how friendly people will be. When you're with someone no one wants to interrupt you but when you're by yourself I find that people in shops and cafe will have a conversation with you.

[@brummel6053]

The people pleasing thing resonated so much with me. I just enjoy being with friends and am most of the time happy with them choosing what they feel like doing. I also tend to feel very anxious when I am going somewhere by myself. Like in one moment I am so happy to be alone and absorb the things around me and in the next my anxiety hits. What I learned so far is to not get disappointed in yourself. You cant control feelings but you can take actions. So if you practice it enough, you will feel more and more comfortable. Step by step :)

[@malishariboul]

I absolutely love having time to spend with just myself!!! in fact I schedule in a complete solo day almost weekly and I couldn't function as an introvert without them :") I'm also leveling up in the wole "doing things by myself" category as I booked myself a solo trip to nyc in april. I'm nervous as heck but since I've been to the city a couple of times before I'm pretty confident that I'll be just fine ❤ lovely video as always cari

[@thepetiteotaku]

the realisation that some people won't like me regardless of whether or not I am trying to fit in, made me just completely embrace my own uniqueness and personality. Consequently, it made me realise that I am usually more content being alone because I don't need to be questioned or be judged. I can just enjoy those moments in peace.

[@Peachy_Fuzz]

I really needed the advice you offered on learning to find peace in being alone despite your anxieties. Its okay to be alone and to be comfortable with yourself, i feel like thats a really big step in self love too. finding solitude in yourself...thank you for that

[@Yelhsa0703]

Learning to enjoy time on my own was one of the biggest game changers in my anxiety recovery. I remember when I used to feel anxious to sit at a restaurant alone and so I started going to a restaurant nearby my work on my lunch breaks and becoming familiar with the staff. Once I felt more comfortable to do that, I branched out to restaurants in unfamiliar places. I found that smiling at strangers and saying hi to people and having a chat helps me feel more at home in a new situation. Thank you for the tip of the journal privacy! Apple can be so sneaky. I checked and mine was set to share and now I turned it off. 😮‍💨

[@shannon.a.smithh]

Oh i related to everything you said so much in this video!! I’ve kind of always been the kid that can play alone for hours and I still feel that way as an adult, but I definitely think that being alone in public is a practiced art! After many years of practicing by going to movies or cafes or restaurants alone (and also being forced to refigure out how to do things alone after my own best friend/roommate/attached-at-the-hip friend moved away), a couple years ago I went on a 10 day solo trip to Greece. The whole point was that I would get to craft the whole trip exactly as I wanted, with none of the compromising that is inevitable when you travel with others! It was an amazing experience (and I always had a book in hand, especially for eating at restaurants, which was the hardest for me too). But along the way I had lovely conversations with random locals and other solo travelers that I would have never had the chance to meet if I was with a group or another person! And I learned so much about myself and that I am capable enough to figure out any situation, like you were saying at the end of the video. Such an empowering experience!!

[@samanthamargason1295]

I watched this video a few days ago, and I finally got the courage to go out by myself to run errands and I ended up running into one of my best friends that I haven’t seen in a while!! Thank you for giving me the courage to go today! ❤️

[@SoulReaver]

I like the outside fluffy mic you used, gives more organic audio vibes w/ clear voice and a pinch of surround noise.

[@beyourownstyle_byheidi]

Last year was the first time in ages that I were traveling alone again. I went to one of my favorite places London. I don't know before it felt kind of scary but after I got there I felt really comfortable and had the feeling I am myself now again. It is like I were meeting myself and really enjoyed it. 😊

[@roseijas]

I've learned to love my own company over the years, and your video just solidified it! The idea that you could do a Skillshare class on this topic keeps coming back to me since watching this. Thank you for sharing your experiences!

[@rollindy]

I loved that you talked about the fact that we are more inspired when we are alone as we aren’t distracted by paying most of our attention to others. I’ve always felt that but I couldn’t put it into words, and it has prevented me for creating so much. I think it can actually help a lot of people who are hesitant to take a step into doing things alone! ❤ I know this will help me do even more things by myself so thank you again Cari, it was a wonderful video 🫰🏻

[@Madlikedasha]

As a formerly shy person, I love how you emphasise that u have to start with small things, and that in reality of course no one is really is looking at you or is thinking about you 🙌🏻 Understanding that might take time but starting doing simple things by yourself is really helpful 🖤

[@nitanata567]

i definitely agree, i feel i get more inspiration when i'm walking somewhere by myself. sitting in a cafe alone sometimes still makes me a bit anxious but listening to a podcast in my headphones distracts well

[@cricribaby]

Being on your own in a public space is big main character energy! ❤

[@janemuses3031]

I think being by yourself is easier for some personality types like INFPs or INFJs since they tend to live in their heads anyway. I enjoy people's company but also just as happy being by myself doing anything because then there is no intrusion or someone imposing their opinions on mine (basically I don't need to compromise on where I want to go, what I want to see, how long I want to stay or what I want to eat). And yes, having a book, notebook, headphones or sketchbook is a great way to while away the time and also signal that you don't want to be intruded. Also being alone really gives me an opportunity to watch others which I would not be able to if I had company as I would have/want to focus on them,

[@romywolfofficial]

I really want to travel to Seoul and I am trying to hype myself up to do it but I am so scared (hi anxiety) that I might run into communication issues and I'll end up sleeping on the streets because I can't find my hotel or something. I really admire your solo travels so much! On another note, inspired by your vlogs I started out looking for cafes etc and found out the local public library moved its location closer to me and had a complete overhaul. I went there to write last week and it was so nice! ☺️

[@hippie1325]

In 2023 I was in such a life slump because I had finished graduate school but wasn’t able to get a job and I spent the majority of the year at home. On top of that, I’ve found it hard to go do things on my own without a friend to join/accompany me. SO, for 2024 I gave myself the goal of doing a Solo Adventure once a month. Take a book, look up a coffee shop or cafe I’ve never been to, and go enjoy being on my own in the big, big world. ❤

[@lovenek0]

This and your video on flying anxiety are probably my two favourites of yours! Even if they don't do big in numbers I think these videos are so important because in addition to having a true talent for videography and talking about beautiful books and beautiful places, you have such a wonderful, empathetic way of providing amazing and actually useful advice on tricky everyday experiences :') xx

[@claudiaswords]

probably one of my favourite videos you've done Cari! What a beautiful week and great advice

[@Chloe_R]

My introversion has gotten to the point that going to the store nearly gives me a panic attack. I also feel like everyone is looking at me and I know they arent but it still feels like it

[@arteyte2303]

I have always enjoyed watching your volgs since I can relate a lot with you. I enjoy being by myself, as an artist most of my inspiration comes when I am out by myself, and also enjoy solo traveling. And actually some times I feel the need to go out and be alone, but also had times when have being anxious and socialy akward. Thankyou for validating all of our experiences.

[@iamsophie555]

I am always afraid to go out by myself but when I am already out alone I feel the happiest haha so I trick myself to go out and then I can enjoy it 😋

[@weronikalinda4917]

Another thing that has helped me a lot is that whenever I feel self-conscious about going somewhere (by myself or with other people), I always take time to get ready, do a bit of makeup, put on a cute outfit that makes me feel confident etc. Obviously, don't feel like you have to do this for other people's sake, but I find that I personally am more sure of myself when I feel put together on the outside

[@mac8697]

I didn't go to places like cafés or the movies alone because I thought those were "social activities", but after uni most of my friends moved away and I realized that it was either I do those things by myself or not at all. And now I love doing those things by myself when no one is available to do them with me :)

[@BrendaMichelleReads]

Loved all the advice Cari❤ I agree start off slowly. I started off by just going to walks alone then I would go to the library and read by myself and now I’ve been to coffee shops by myself. Little by little you can do it 😊

[@zoeamz]

I'm an introvert so I've always been pretty happy by myself and over the years I've gradually dialed it up to put myself out of my comfort zone (which imo is how you grow): walks, cafés, restaurants, taster sessions... I like travelling and now I try to plan at least one solo trip a year. It's very empowering, liberating and gives you the time to really reflect and be inspired. One of my favourite memories is from yeaaaaars ago. I was having a little picnic just outside the Acropolis in Athens as the sun was setting and I just felt so alive? This year's trip is in two weeks. I'm going to Prague and I'm very much looking forward to it!

[@elfonedge]

Loved this video! I actually relate to a lot of what you said (a people pleasure who learnt more about themselves through spending time alone as well as being totally immersed into what I'm reading while I'm outside lol) I love taking myself on silly little walks, especially on days where I feel stuffy, sometimes I even get lost and often times it's a fun experience. I usually just walk around or go to the nearest beach and sit down for a while, visit cafes and maybe sit at a park and read, I don't often get the urge to write while I'm outside but when I do it's completely at random (sometimes even while in transport haha) and I love meeting pets on the road, my gallery is full of pictures of them lol

[@thehatfrog]

I do a lot of activities alone, I do however think the lack of "third spaces" is a major issue. I wish there was someplace to go that doesn't require me to spend money. I found a library 30 minutes away from me and I'm trying to go once a week but even then its a bit of a gas expenditure. I also think though, the beauty of doing activities on your own is that there's someone to come back and chat to about who you saw and what you did. I spend, I think, entirely way too much time on my own and what should feel liberating just feels a bit sad sometimes. But maybe that's just me! I usually enjoy my time out doing things solitarily until there's something that I really want to share with someone and then it kind of hits. But 100% with you on alone-activities being important! Especially because the alternative would be to sit alone at home which wouldn't help anybody haha. Great vlog as usual! 💚💚

[@luvcalabria]

Hiii Cari ❤ this video and everything you said resonates with me so much, especially the chat at the end of the video. I just wanted to say that I love and appreciate who you are as a person. Have a lovely day!

[@nissasbookcorner]

i love love love that idea of sharing things with yourself. for me, reading is such an introspective activity for me and i kind of love that conversation i can have with myself while i’m reading. also i often feel pressure to share even the small experiences with someone else especially on social media, i think it’s so important to intentionally have these small moments like yeah, i exist and even if no one else knows i saw this random little detail, it happened and i felt it myself

[@ashleyhaa]

your video was my gift today :) & a side note - i am FINALLY uploading my first youtube video this week! i've been so inspired by you and wanted to share my little piece of living daegu with the world :) i'm also hoping it makes me feel less lonely here too. thank you for the beautiful videos as always cari :)

[@meganobrien9520]

I love going to movies by myself! I usually work evenings, and so going to a Tuesday matinee by myself means I often have the whole theatre just for me! Things I don’t love doing by myself: live music or shows, and table-service restaurants… but I’m working on that last one this year! For me, the worst part of doing things by myself is the “getting there” portion. It takes so much effort to get the ball rolling for me, especially if I’m going to have to drive myself, but once I’m out I love the FREEDOM to do whatever I want without checking if someone else wants to!❤

[@TamilaSushkova]

I'm not super anxious to be alone in places, I'm more anxious to film myself in public but thank you for this video regardless

[@Aondes]

I've just been on my first solo trip - I went to Venice and had the time of my life - and I'd like you to know that you're my biggest inspiration, always awakening me to have a better relationship with myself! I want to say a huge thank you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@janasiajanasia8610]

Love love loveeee your videos!!

[@melyibarra809]

I got to travel alone for the first time this past month!!!!! It was amazing❣️I went to a small town and enjoyed myself, that’s something I would recommend, start being alone somewhere small so that you don’t feel watched the whole time

[@dvckduckgoose]

was so nice hearing you speaking korean, like obviously you live there so i assumed you spoke the language but actually hearing it was lovely

[@lauramatei8181]

I like being alone: going to the movies, to a cafe or to eat. I have a 6 1/2 yo daughter who always sticks to me and talks a lot. Whenever I have the chance to be alone, I take it. I have no issues with it. For me, these times are a blessing 😅

[@Lillyjoy]

I don’t mind going to the library or a bookstore by myself (I actually prefer it) but walking into a cafe full of people in groups and me being the only one by myself while they stare at me walk in always makes me feel lonely. But generally I like going places alone unless I’m anxious, then I just won’t go. And I like getting to share things like concerts or going to events with other people cause it feels more fun that way. I think part of it is going to a bookstore or library I’m on a mission to get something, but wandering around a new store or event makes me want someone there with me

[@mangafreak09081]

agree 100%. I like being on my own but sometimes I miss having someone to share the experience with

[@mac8697]

One thing that helped me with the "omg people are staring at me" feeling when I walked into a cafe alone was thinking that it's just human behavior: when we're somewhere and someone comes in, we check who that person is to see if we know them, if they seem friendly, if they look dangerous, etc. Then we make a quick 0.2 second assessment and move on. Obviously you still feel awkward at first, but if you can start rationalizing it, then little by little you stop feeling that way.

[@Lillyjoy]

@@mac8697thanks! That’s helpful to remember :)

[@thaisecairess]

Hi Cari... loved this topic :) funny thing is that I used to struggle w/ the opposite - too extroverted and people person I had hard time being alone (even though it is necessary). It´s been a year since I´ve restarted therapy and this was one of my first topics bc the pandemic drove me crazy even after the 'come back', I couldn´t get my life together and ended up having LOTS of time alone. It was affecting my mental health but I´ve learned I should try balancing, not trying to do things the same as before. Well, it took me a while but following similar things you shared in the video, I could do it and now (today, for example) I listen to my body and my emotions when it comes to "pls, give yourself some time alone and also, in silence" lol. Never thought I could be this kind of person. Anyway, the advice I like the most "no one is watching you", this changes things! I also encourage everyone to try new things alone, we get used to everything in life :)

[@eleanorcain5038]

I feel the exact same way as you Cari. I love hanging out with my friends but I value my alone time, where I can just sit in the park to read my book or go to a cafe, just as much. I also find that I need something to do wherever I am so I don't feel that awkwardness, but really spending that time with yourself is rejuvenating to me and so important!

[@yona9678]

My best Sunday morning mood 💖

[@elfhchan]

I adore how you captioned the shot with the adorable cat, "Gingers stick together." I always felt the same with black cats and when mine came for pats and scratches I would call her my 'Brunette Princess' 💖💖💖

[@NatokaS.]

I noticed that, for me at least, feeling anxiety about going out alone depends on who I'm living with and surrounding myself with at the moment. In my home country, where I live with family, I feel much more confortable going out by myself because I don't always have someone to come with me anyway. But when I was an exchange student is Japan and living in a dorm, I was constantly surrounded by people my age, and there was always at least one or two people who were free to do stuff. And while being out there I realized after a while that I felt so much more anxious going out by myself, even though I was comfortable in the foreign environment. But after coming home I fell back into my more comfortable headspace. I don't know if someone else experienced something similar or not.

[@ExpatNatt]

Love a Sunday Cari vlog ❤️

[@Lifeofmarcy]

Hi Hi cari, I once again want to Thankyou for being the little light in my dark days :) I am going trough a tough time with exams and personal stuff yet ur videos are like a breath of fresh air between all of it. I also love doing things alone and I was actually self conscious about it for the longest time. The older you get you honestly learn to let go.