Am I The Problem Or Is My Family Toxic? I

After Club Shay Shay I realized that I don’t have any relationship with a lot of my family?
#garyowen #garyowencomedy #getsome #getsomepodcast #clubshayshay #familymatters #family #toxic

[@WendyH10]

As a child of a dad who cheated on my mom, I never stopped loving or having a relationship with him. That’s their grown ppl business. He’s still my dad.

[@yvettegatewood1688]

Hm, thats right.

[@heartlights]

It's very common for victims to normalize parental abuse (which is what your dad was doing to you by cheating on your mom) because it's psychologically difficult to accept that someone you trusted would hurt you out of their own selfishness. Maybe you're excusing what your dad did because you're afraid of the consequences of his actions. But that isn't (and shouldn't be) on you.

[@mattk8810]

@@heartlights wtf are you even talking about. He should have stayed unhappy for your own happiness then? Wtf type of narcissist nonsense is that.

[@eezom1993]

​@@heartlights lmmfaao did you just say parents cheating is child abuse? LMAO EAST BLEACH PLEASE wt????

[@ginahouston9352]

keep letting your children know you are still there for them... give them time, they'll come around... much love to you 🥰

[@jenyjang6526]

Lol!! 😂 My family is toxic. So is all my friend’s family but we all hide it cos we fear judgment. Which is why we relate to truth when we see/hear in media content

[@kiaramurray832]

Sometimes your worst enemies are related to you. Sometimes the only thing you can do is love them from a distance and pray for them. But at this point your kids are adults and can and should make their own choices. They will miss you when you’re gone. They’ll regret the years they spent being angry. I know. Bc I did this to my father, and he’s gone. And I had to ask his dead body for forgiveness. I regret that every single day of my life and it’s been 6 years.

[@cheesun124]

It was a great interview. You did a good job Gary.

[@LandofTheTree]

Difference between you and them (minus your kids) is you own up to your mistakes. Your mother, father and stepfather do not

[@DavidB-1969]

Dude…the people who judge you for the way your life goes…they are losers and they have no value. Ignore that trash.

[@rebeccav7555]

When you’re the one in the family that stops going along with the BS, you get ostracized. You can’t rock the boat in a dysfunctional family. You’re better off living a life of truth than continuing to live in the lies of your family.

[@tonybryant2905]

I quit speaking to my dad 20 years ago and he died two years ago. It bothers me. He was a punk but it still bothers me. My son barely speaks to me after my divorce. Some women like to turn kids against parents. He’s 24 I hope it changes

[@joeschmoe5231]

Gary, thats awesome that a sibling reached out to you after the Shay Shay interview. It will get better.....keep yo head up.

[@MhMhMhM88]

No, it's not you. Some people do not need to be in your life.

[@DSANDSYADIGGG]

The relationship has nothing to do with the kids that shits always been crazy to me

[@Riles3152]

Keeping your kids away from their father, because of your own personal issue against him, is among the most unconscionably selfish things you could ever do to your children. And they most likely will grow up resenting you for it when they find out the truth, that dad actually wasn’t a deadbeat, but a victim of a vindictive, scorn woman.

[@stevenfrye7967]

BINGO!!

[@40GTV]

Plenty Much Love brother..... Trust your energy.... Your higher self knows what to do.

[@aryaastark9201]

I have no opinion on the rest of your family, but your kids are perfectly entitled to feel how they feel. You said it yourself, you traveled a lot, so understandingly they spent more time with their mother. Why wouldnt they be on the side of the person who was there every night?? Your daughter already said it, the onus is on you, yet you feel as if it's their responsibility to fix the relationship. If you want a relationship with your kids, start small. Send a card every week. Tell them how much you miss them. Aplogize. Stop talking about the divorce in public. Show them that you view your responsibility as more than just being a pay check.

[@fah232]

Right, thank you. You are the only other person that sees this. And people keep saying, his ex wife is keeping the children from him. They are grown and have their own opinion. But my thing is, ALL three (I konw one is a step child) of the children are not talking to him, usually at least one would still keep open communication. That tells me, his kids have seen more than their fair share of some wrong doing by him. It's for parents to make tnings right with their child/children if they have fractured the relationship.

[@soar1091]

Man, don't be hard on urself, u did a Great job on the show & thats all we can ask of u is to be honest in real time. U are a great man , not perfect but none of us are and the father that u have been to ur children should be respected & loved by ur child. I've seen women take out the angry on the man & pass it on to the children than once the children mature that hate the mother for it & come back to the dad. I hope it doesn't have to get that bad before they realize the mistake they are now making with u.

[@ctbt1832]

Gary, you are not the problem. And don’t worry about that gas Lol 😂

[@HH-gv8mx]

Shit Gary, I’m a woman and my advice to you is don’t quit those kids! Keep trying. Keep reaching out. Remember that you are the parent. And even though they may be adult children, they are still thinking through child glasses. They’re mad because they think you started a new family. They are mad because you cheated on their mother. They’re mad for a whole bunch of different shit. But that doesn’t matter. You just need to keep telling them that you love them and that you are there for them, and whenever they are ready, you will be there . I know it sounds corny, but you need to write them a letter. That gets the message across.

[@geneviawylie]

Agree!! I love what you said. No judgement - just straight up and focused on love for the chirrun. It is hard to face the pain you put your children through. Sometimes things go like this...price people pay for cheating, leaving family 1 to make family 2...etc, but I think forgiveness/grace is the least we owe each other.

[@cskibb67]

What up Gary!! NABPD 94-96 Saw you on Shay shay! Proud of you bro!! Skib Youngstown Ohio

[@TheLeadInLeadership88]

Simple enough, you were around for the big things not not always the important events for your kids. Wish you luck.

[@kellywilliams7318]

Just hang in there, Gary. My children's father cheated on me and treated me horribly. I never stopped my children from being with their dad after we separated. They love their dad and need their dad and I am thankful he is such a powerful force in their life. He's a wonderful father regardless of what he or me through and I thank God he's there for my children. Some times children and women are so disappointed by the actions of their super hero, their father... the man of the house... the pain is so great that they need time to heal. They will eventually heal. All of them. One thing my dad told me and I found it is true. Everything in life comes full circle. When it is time you will be able to talk with your children and have a relationship with them again.

[@jasonhurley2396]

Jay told you if you think everyone else is crazy you’re the who is insane. Three parts to every story, your side, her side, and the truth which probably is somewhere in the middle.

[@Portauprincess95]

I think it is possible to come from a horrible family. I know someone whose parents have been in court on and off for about 20 years, that isn’t normal. Sometimes poverty, drugs, wealth, etc. play a part in family division. I believe your interview. The only part that was weird was driving with the kids far away and stopping at a gas station. But ppl learn and grow. Congrats!

[@vinsanity3510]

Dude. I still hate my dad after cheating on my mom and he’s been dead for 9 years. He’s dead so he can’t do it, but you need to work to make amends with the mother of your children. She’s their mother. A good husband and a good dad are not the same thing but for most kids, it should be synonymous. You’re a dope dude and I don’t want your kids to view you how I see my dad. I love my dad to death and he made me awesome but I got some CRAZY toxic shit from him and they’re prolly scared to be like you or make cheating on their mother ok.

[@fah232]

So true, a lot of people don't see it that way..

[@shellyk5575]

Shit I always wondered this. Fuck off when you cheat you lose out!!! The people in my town alienated us! I’m the woman and i instigated it and I’m glad because after 4 years we are still so happy. How ever. I feel I am an issue. But no-you’re not. They have their own beef. You live your own recovery because they don’t understand unless they are addicts that have gotten clean themself. Life’s hard man ❤

[@MatadorCE]

At least some of it has to be on you, hopefully you're going to therapy/counseling to help you figure this out and continue healing.

[@vb2324]

Just speaking honestly with no judgement as a red blooded male who don't know if I had your popularity and opportunity traveling around the country if I would be able to resist temptation. Your kids are older and likely understand the circumstances of your breakup and empathize/sympathize with their mother translating to anger towards you. It seems you've done self reflection and honest with yourself and the situation. Don't stop trying to have that relationship with your kids. Time will heal the wounds and they will appreciate you trying and at the very least you can respect yourself for never giving up on them.

[@GreenBean3141]

Children hold their mothers close to their hearts and unfortunately she probably said things around the kids that she shouldn’t have that changed their opinions about you and they felt forced to choose a side. Maybe take a step back and just message the kids on the millstones they reach and wait for them to reach out to you.

[@lukemiller3230]

Need to watch the OG podcast with Gary. It was great. I could do 3 hours of those 3 a week If Shaq, Charles, and Kenny don’t go to NBC they definitely need to give those 3 a shot at halftime updates.

[@DollysParadise]

When you cheat you cheat on your entire family not just the mom, when you leave you leave the entire family. When you chased down their mom, you chased downed the entire family. Go to therapy do not get public opinion about this, you should be able to discuss this clearly.❤

[@sorealabama2992]

You wasn't supposed to go so easy when yall separated if they wasn't answering the phone pop up to take them out to eat or just to check on them

[@alexanderwhite7105]

A lot of this unfortunately is from Gary having some money and getting out of the situation he was in. His miserable ass family he grew up with just flat out seem jealous. His kids, I think have some legitimate beef with the way things went with their parents and it was likely they would take sides, but it sucks because it really does seem like his ex-wife is putting things in their ear about how things went down and he doesn't get to defend himself.

[@AdamKing-xv1iu]

Sorry to say.... But your ex is in your kids ears bud. I was my father's boy, but i realized my dad was💩 but my mom Never said it. You have a new family/life. You raised your other children to adulthood, they will realize They were wrong. Live Your Life

[@peterjaimes8776]

Ok a lot of stuff that people stand on that is not on standards can be shown by yanking the skirt on a situation that said I use to be on the road a lot and didn’t have control over my job situation so Garry I am not judging you just giving good options on you bringing family to better bonding situation and that is using and expanding you analytical situation knowledge to incorporate different aspect of your family in your business trips and so on by using your knowledge of the road and inviting and investing the person you feel would be most conducive or positively accessed in that trip or situations positive affects which would with the health of your family relationships even if not right away bringing them closer.no?

[@tannermikal2]

Both 🤣

[@tannermikal2]

PS Who Dey!! Schedule looks 👀

[@chriswashington1087]

I stop speaking to my mom about 3 years now it's not you it's them

[@HiMyNameIsMoses]

you should go on joe rogans podcast

[@Think4yourself8000]

No on the excuse! And Owrns is right if that was the standard kids wouldn’t have parent relationships- a precursor if we want the non humane brave new world. Can we submit you having relationship if it’s the highest order for all parties involved in prayer groups? (Going to unless you are against this). Even if it is in public places at first and god yes therapy and the children speak for themselves as much as possible and if it goes well back to more enriched and longer times. Sometimes it takes that whether there was any abuses of children or not..

[@paulwall9282]

You are the By the way your hat is on backwards

[@bluegreymtb3350]

Just me

[@alp852]

It comes off as self-absorbed constantly talking about this on the internet. I wonder if that’s driving them even further apart. Great comedian but damn.

[@ImThatHeat]

Women and gay men is the same people……😂

[@danmoats3947]

I am a big fan but dam bru Ur making it hard to continue!! I understand ur kids!!!

[@SemperFiNative]

Hhahahahhaahhaahhshshshshsshshyjbdgbhrtbjneb 0:11

[@sneakerkid10]

You definitely toxic but me too bro so you good

[@rachelderenoncourt3881]

I may be miserable and toxic but he is Yoko Ono!! He broke up the band!! He’s a lot like me though and it’s hurtful.

[@GatorPride7]

That was a hoooooorible transition‼️. I cringed at that part of the interview‼️

[@trainerpool8919]

I love you and love the show shipmate..... I think it's a combination of both I think you are the problem and your family is toxic... You need to listen to what Shannon Sharpe told you about forgiving your father set the timer for giving your father does not mean forgetting everything that he did that was stupid.... Deal with your dad from a distance... But with you calling Kendra your ex derogatory, they're never going to forgive you... Kids always have a different kind of respect for their mother than their father even if they love them the same... Just my two cents I have five kids with the same woman and I've been married to my high school sweetheart for 20 years...... I'm not perfect

[@richardjames1405]

Gary you are the problem. That many people against you?

[@RCartagena1]

Regardless of the past, be the father you always needed and wanted. Only you can make yourself happy and it’s obvious that you are doing what makes you happy. I always enjoy your comedy and personality.