AMWDW Aramau/Thespio and "The Dark Side of Empathy"

"Every virtue can be taken to the extreme or warped into something unrecognizable and made into a burden. Trust turns into gullibility, self-confidence to hubris, loyalty into obsession… kindness into weakness..."
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[@enderpup9289]

We missed these moments with Drwolf, we need these since 2020 stinks

[@sadlobster1]

Agreed, 2020 has been murder on a lot of us; one way or another

[@davidcaldwell4916]

You got that right.

[@sadlobster1]

@@davidcaldwell4916 The virus, political nonsense, police brutality, fires, riots and social discord out there certainly haven't made things easier

[@gia_the_gamergirl4130]

Yes 2020 sorta stinks.

[@davidcaldwell4916]

@@sadlobster1 No they haven't.

[@StarryThey-os]

I can relate to this a lot. Empathy can really be a double edged sword. And this video describes the problems with empathy perfectly for me. If I'm not careful I can give too much to others and forget about myself. Or I'll absorb other's negative emotions until my mental state is a wreck. That's happened a few times before. I'm doing better now but it can still be a challenge. It's nice to hear this talked about. Thank you Doc.

[@matthewcenteno5515]

i can kinda relate, ive been trying to cut down negative people in my life, but there are some i simply cant cut because theyre damily or close friends, and whenever i recieve a phone call from them i legit let out a long sigh and prepare myself before answering. They can be great company, but it can be draining listening to them, their problems and their negativity, i dont mind at all helping and i am actually studying psychology since ive noticed im so good at listening to them, but it can be very tiresome sometimes when you just want to relax for the day and you hear your phone ringing

[@KororaPenguin]

In C. S. Lewis' book _The Great Divorce_ one of the Ghosts was a man who manipulated everyone around him passive-aggressively, and his passive-aggressive tendencies have manifested as a seedy third-rate Tragedian. The point of the scene is to show how destructive manipulating others' pity is in the long run, to oneself as well as others.

[@iceluvndiva21]

Oh trust me. There is one is huge in the tangled the series. Oooh boy. I myself have been told that I have a huge amount of empathy for both real and fictional.

[@MadMunchkin]

Interesting topic. :)

[@brentramsten249]

to me a kindness is always a pleasant surprise, because a kindness that is expected isnt a kindness at all.

[@PrinceApollo117]

Yay a new AMWDW! Just what I need to feel good!

[@dieselnick96]

This episode hit real close to home.

[@storytellermillermiller1931]

Same

[@cyrusnoble462]

I'm glad these videos are still being made. It's these videos that help me feel related to them with whatever problem I am dealing. To Dr Wolf: Thank you again for this video. You and everyone else have done an amazing job with these videos and I honestly hope that you all will take a lot into considerstion with doing them. Hope you are doing well Doctor, you're definitely the one that becomes a light that everyone deserves to have whenever they're sad and lonely. I won't forget that about you.

[@SirSqueakStir]

the last good doctor said it best. "I'm not doing this because I want to beat someone, or because I hate someone, or because, because I want to blame someone. It's not because it's fun and God knows it's not because it's easy. It's not even because it works, because it hardly ever does. I do what I do, because it's right! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind. It's just that. Just kind." I always try to do good and help others when I can because it feels good to do good and for those who attack, use, and abuse good people.... they need a reality check WHOOPING as well as being knock down a few pegs. i have been trying to keep my mental health from dropping so I can help and enjoy my hobbies.

[@darkblastoise9199]

I Love AMWDW, this is so true, kindness is a wonderful quality but can be a painful one Generosity is a virtue and a curse, good people are not responsible for others happiness, it doesn't make good people any less good 😊

[@Zodia195]

Oh yeah, as am Empath all of this is SOOO true. I've physically gotten sick because of people's emotions and almost got a heart attack once. Sadly I live in a situation where the people around me don't understand nor try to. That latter home scenario about the relationship between parents and child, sadly, that's what happened with me and as a result I don't want to do anything with my family. Any chance I got to get away from them, I'll take it. It's sad because they are good people, but I put my needs first and as a result I am the black sheep of the family (but I am fine with that). I once did vent art called The Price of Empathy to just describe how much I was hurting at the time because of my empathy. Heck, my last semester in college, for my advance painting class, I did nothing BUT vent art because I needed to get rid of all of the negative emotions I had built up over time as a result of my nature. It was very therapeutic let me tell you. I've learned to balance things so I can keep myself sane. It's another reason why my OC's cutiemark is the Yin/Yang symbol.

[@RealCoolstriker64]

That ending... validation for emotions is EXTREMELY important. “Emotions are always valid. Maybe not always *accurate,* but always valid.”

[@thephoenix2959]

They were so close to a daughter of Discord reference All he had to say was chocolate milk

[@Zodia195]

I am glad I am not the only one who thought that.

[@StarryThey-os]

I was thinking that too!

[@BlueHeartTattoo]

I can relate to this a lot. In my younger years, especially in middle school, I would have people my age or in my family take advantage of me because I was so nice and kind to them and I wanted to help. Even now it can take a strain on me as most of siblings/family are far away or left home that I'm the only one available to help my mom with my 2 younger siblings and her household or back in 2016 when I had to take care of my father as he went through his 2nd divorce. 2020 hasn't been easy for me because of it. I really appreciate Dr. Wolf, Aramau and Thespio bringing up this subject and go in depth with it, as it was something I needed to hear.

[@LinkSanti]

It was great to see another AMWDW. It´s important help other people, but also helping yourself. I wish the best to Aramau, Thespio and of course you Doc to continue to spreading kindness, but taking all the time you need.

[@artc-the-brony1050]

Once again, your empathy to relate to others and to discuss each other's story until you find the right guidance, never fails to amuse us, Doc I can relate to them. As a carefree spirit, everyone, from my family & friends, viewed me as a ray of sunshine who can understand their issues and their emotions, and will be there to help. But, I've been falling out of my "role" as I grow into an older teen. It gets harder to act as the positive empath, when you begin to feel negative and stressed out yourself. Because of that, whenever I go out of my "goodness façade" to act different & negative, they see it as unnatural and not like me, having me try to go back as the happy-go-lucky peacemaker they know. And it gets worse, 'cause since I was so used to being kind and helpful, when I see the lack of a problem I can hope to fix or even a homework my classmates see me as good in, it makes me feel more useless than before.

[@TheCommenterDragon]

This vid was so awesome Doc, your therapy session vids never fail to entertain or fails to teach us things!

[@simsgirlgem]

*hugs thespio* I’m never letting go until the hurt is gone TT~TT

[@godzillajdo]

Honestly, with what's been going on with the world, I'm glad that I can use this to escape from it all and just relax. I've only started getting into these moments where Dr. Wolf helps out everyone else with their problems, but it really helps out to have a listening ear. I hope to see more videos like this, Doc. Stay safe and stay healthy.

[@arvithebrownwolf6075]

This reminds me of moments ..when I can't understand someone struggles for some odd reason I try to put myself through the same struggle just so I can understand how the person felt and make their life easier....

[@krystenmyers2753]

This is a sure fiery way to make my Birthday special today.

[@changeling27]

Omg I so needed this I was having a similar problem where I was helping some of my friends all I wanted to do is help them to see them smile to keep them safe but after having a few mental breakdowns I told them that I can't help right now and the say "fine... or okay..." and then I feel like I was letting them down I really needed to see this

[@meemietheeevee4400]

In the words of JaidenAnimations: "This is a hard pill you've got to just swallow...You ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for anyone's personal happiness!!!"

[@Flitterkriz]

Welcome to the club and great to see and hear a video about this, it's very hard but always learn to take time and privet energy to yourself❤️ This is something that is a lifelong thing that will be a big part of your life, you need to find out what you limit is and what helps you clam down and heal yourself when it happens❤️ some do hobbies, maditate or even drive a car for 5 hours! As far as I know both as a person and with my job, humens are feeling beings and kindness and understanding is something most people hunger for since they have not have enough in childhood or not feeling safe themself and when they see that you are not the kind 24/7 they feel that you suddenly are unstable/not how you showd before, they feel unsafe or betrays since many people take that thing very much to strongly and forget that nopony can be kind 24/7 Beacuse just like you said it exsauste. Its a lot more to it, but will not make a superlong comment. Big hugs to you all and stay safe❤️

[@slots777]

"It's not anyone's job to be kind and helpful" Have you ever worked retail, Thespio? I work for a Kroger store, and if I show how stressed I am, or my voice has a slight blunt tone, I'm thought of as rude or the spawn of Satan when I could have just had to deal with a major Karen sometime before the person who thinks me rude. I don't even think I'm that empathic, but I feel like what Thespio and Aramau are saying goes along well with how many of us retail workers feel especially given the current state of things in this pandemic.

[@rusticrails1812]

Oh and how! Totally feel for you, mate! I also work in retail and can relate... Though I’ve managed to avoid the worst of the Karens that come along every now and then, I’ve definitely dealt with plenty rude or cranky customers, especially these days. On top of all that we’ve also got a new system that has given us nothing but headaches. Thankfully most of the time our costumers are understanding, but not with everyone and some get pretty irate. It certainly takes a special breed of people with some steady nerves and patience to work in retail.

[@black97_0]

I have a different problem I also work in a retail, but my voice by default sounds like I couldn't care less. I have to actively try, to keep my voice sounding nice. During normal hours that's no problem, but come rush hour, like 3:00 pm, 4:00 pm, or 5:00 pm, I just can't focus on keeping my voice up, while rushing It's phisically impossible for me to do so. And by the time 6:00 pm rolls around, and I have only 2 hours before my shift ends, I'm too exhausted from rush hours, and rushing my 20 minutes of meal, to keep it up. My point is, that while you guys may appear rude, cuz you've just finished dealing with another Karen, and you still didn't manage to calm down from that, my voice makes me sound like I'm always fed up because apparently, according to my voice, everyone is Karen. And honestly, I don't like that. Sigh, why must I have been born with a voice that became literary 1 level higher than the lowest voice a man can have?

[@rusticrails1812]

​@@black97_0 Eh, I can't say I like my voice either. It has the habit of sounding too flat (some have said like a Minnesotan), so I also have to really try in giving it some flare as well. I've learned to work with it (retail has helped), but what I also don't like is that it's not deep enough for me. Instead of a nice rich professional voice, I sound higher pitched for my age. There's younger guys I know with a better voice than I do! >~< *Sigh*

[@princesscadance197]

I just choose to be emotionally-repressed at work. Not showing any emotion, really, with a completely dead-pan tone. Can’t get mad at me if I show no irritation... Nor happiness... Nor sadness. Completely neutral, the safe route.

[@slots777]

@@princesscadance197 Easier said that done, honestly. I normally do that too, and people still give me a hard time. I guess some people just can't be pleased.

[@FrostTheHobidon]

This one is very helpful and I had some trouble with this topic, Thank You

[@sadlobster1]

I think I can totally relate to this, my family often calls ME rather empathetic. But because of this; whenever my parents feel upset, I can feel that pain and stress off of them. This later results in ME feeling stressed and rather down in the mouth, as a result. When my parents feel incredibly sad or stressed and I try to help them, feeling so much of their negative emotions can me feeling exhausted or distressed

[@gia_the_gamergirl4130]

Me too.

[@KororaPenguin]

And Doc himself knows what it's like to have a sense of urgency lead to mistakes that cause the attempt at helping to backfire.

[@CreativaArtly]

Also Thespio, I feel. As someone from a divorced family (grant it more recently), I was close with my dad (before he committed suicide) but yeah, I feel like I have to be the strong one to be an example to help my siblings and help mom. It’s all so hard. I totally feel. Totally feel.

[@joshuaallen3724]

I love this video.❤😊

[@Gojilion91]

Great video!

[@ianbrennan9635]

This video is not only relatable, as I am also empathic and have to deal with its shortcomings, but also something everyone needs to hear. Thank all three of you so much for everything you have done for this fandom. As a fan, I'm so glad to see people like you still around.

[@colbykong1325]

I was scared when I first came into the Brony D&D Discord server. When Eliyora told me to not worry, that the people in the VC were nice and kind, I went back in and she was right. She knew that I was scared, because I told from the start. So I need to thank Eliyora for that.

[@Juria316]

I can really relate to this. And having to take care of my father during his cancer treatments up to the point where both I and my mother no longer could and he's, temporarily, in a nursing home, I can relate to Thespio on some small level. As an empath, I often find myself wanting to absorb not only the emotional pain those around me feel, but the physical as well, and for a while I was able to, a bit, until I began to realize that not everyone can, or should, be allowed access to this, because they will take it for all it is worth. Thank you for this episode.

[@RealCoolstriker64]

18:37 Oh I will. (This episode looked fantastic!!!)

[@DinoTamer-22]

I love the inclusion of mlp episodes. It shows just how much mlp has taught us. Thanks for this it was very informative ^^

[@CreativaArtly]

Great one once again. I’d love to do one on suffering many losses, years of bullying, and the traumas that leaves behind sometime.

[@TimeTravelMaster]

I’ve missed this series so much. So good to see you at work again Doc.

[@allenstehmann2330]

Dr. Wolf, when are you going to do an AMWDW video with Sunset Shimmer and the human Twilight Sparkle? That, I would like to see.

[@callumhiggins2167]

Aramau thespio dr wolf Thank you for talking about this topic Everything you talked about in this video is Exactly How I felt This year When I was staying with my shared lives provider And this whole situation with the coronavirus Wasn’t helping either My situation was so bad That I had To stand aside and leave him completely but please Don’t feel bad for me Everything is ok now I’m staying with someone else Who appreciates what I do Until I move in to my new place But watching this video has Definitely helped me really that Trying to care for everyone’s feelings is not always easy And it’s definitely something I need to except from time to time And not let those feelings overwhelm me Thank you to the three of you for helping me realise that.

[@knightrostark3052]

I FELT this. My mom taught me a lot about empathy and it’s because of her that it’s a big part of who I am now. However, I also have Asperger’s Symdrome, meaning my very mind can sometimes be unsuited to pick Up on things that are bothering people. (Being an introvert kind of contributes too.) However, a by-product of that is that I feel my way at looking at things gives people a dose of cold hard reality. I use my logic to be empathetic. Unfortunately, that’s not how a lot of people operate, thus whenever I might try to contribute in my own way, some people don’t understand and think I’m the bad guy. In the end, all I really do is maintain a calm demeanor and give help in situations where I know I can make a difference, which is usually just things in my immediate vicinity and to those I trust. Thank you Thespio, Ari, and Doc!

[@mabelpines7629]

Thank you for this video, this actually helps me a lot, so thank you. ☺️

[@DRWolf001]

Glad to be of service :)

[@Naughtydogfan-dj7rf]

@@DRWolf001 good video but I miss kp 😢 😔 😕 😪 😞

[@Supershadow1501]

This moment I could especially relate to because I'm very compassionate to others and want to do what I can to see them happy! But, learning that it's also good to step aside from helping someone so that others can is very important as well. Thanks a bunch you guys, I really appreciated this Moment! Stay safe!

[@matthewcenteno5515]

i love AMWDW videos,theyre actually what inspired me to study psychology in college. Thanks for making such amazing content doc!

[@DRWolf001]

Glad to be of service :)

[@KororaPenguin]

@@DRWolf001 Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo would be very proud of you.

[@JaimeD.]

Thank you Dr. Wolf, Thespio and Aramau for this important topic being discussed in this video. Hope you're all staying safe and healthy.

[@CuttoffZero539]

I can relate a lot to this video in particular, as an empathetic and kind person myself, i try to help my friends whenever i can, weather their sad, pr just need help making something, and it sometimes wears me out. Plus i trust people too easily which led to someone using me to make their HD Minecraft skins, and i didn't realize it until my friend group broke off from that person after we found out how toxic they were... I appreciate the very existence of this video since it clears up the ties of the good and bad side of empathy.

[@marismcgarveyhenderson6328]

Dang.....I needed this. I can relate so much

[@sethcarlow8363]

this video hit me in the heart. i am with all 3 of you

[@renamon5658]

I can related to this my mom always say I'm to kind and that scares her. But i want to be like grandma everyone loved her and when she died 5 churchs were filled with people who she helped and showed kindness to

[@BrewingKoffree]

Thank you so much for making this vid it helped a lot❤

[@DRWolf001]

Glad to be of service :)

[@miwamad7115]

I love the animated bits they’re so amazing and just what this video needed 💕😊👍💕😊👍

[@jetflightneon8115]

Helping others is both a duty and an honor

[@shep4187]

Thank you doc, Ari, and Thespio. I really needed this today. It is the 11th day in a row I have worked in a row and this made my morning. This helped cheer me up and I appreciate the wonderful message you brought. It is actually why I have been working so much...

[@joeschmoeairassassin9539]

You know when someone says something close to home I relate, but if they say EXACTLY what your trying to work on, you relies what a small world this is. I’ve talked about this one with my therapist for years. I’m glad it’s being mentioned, I don’t think people ESPECIALLY Me understand self advocacy and self health. Love the vid guys keep it up! ❤️

[@Nephalem2002]

These videos hit hard and help me reflect on things. Im glad your all still making them🙂

[@BeesMeliss]

Such wise words.

[@calliethewolfcat2183]

Thank you! This helped me so much. I related to this. And now I want you all to give you all a hug!

[@eltsoldier]

Without going into too much detail, I can relate to this issue quite a lot. I know what 'compassion fatigue' feels like firsthand. It drained me to actual, painful tears, and left me feeling hopeless for quite some time. It hurt, but I'm grateful for the experience making me wiser about the limits of empathy and kindness. I know my own strength a lot better, now, and am careful to look out for those who might try to take advantage of me. By the same token, though, that's also given me much more appreciation for the values of trust, compassion, and generosity.

[@TheAnalyticalEngine]

And sometimes, the best way to help, is just to listen

[@benjaminfeld6388]

You know this message kind of spoke to me personally. I've actually been feeling pretty conflicted about my own sense of morality lately. A lot of it actually stems from some of the material I've been watching over the past few years, including MLP If you can believe it. I suppose one example can be found in the episode "Once upon a Zeppelin." Twilight chooses to selflessly sacrifice her own happiness by devoting pretty much the entire voyage to signing autographs and such, so that the rest of her family can enjoy their vacation in peace. But she ends up missing out on a lot of the activity she wanted to do with her family, including a very rare celestial event that she was especially looking forward to. And as a result, she ends up losing her temper and yelling at both her parents and a pony who admires her very much. Ever since I was a child. I've been taught to always put others first and myself second. But in Twilight's case, did she take it to the extreme? That is actually something I also tend to do a lot, especially on myself. If I don't live up to my own expectations, if I screw up, even by a narrow margin, I get really frustrated with myself. Do you suppose you could schedule an appointment for me Doc? LOL

[@agniepintero743]

I relate to this so much, thank you for talking about this. It helps

[@ZaESims123]

Listening to this is rather pleasant since it sounds like conversations I’ve had with fellow classmates in my master’s program for counseling. The way Dr. Wolf speaks is very in tune with effective ways to speak with a client. Being empathetic can be a challenge and people will begin to take advantage of that. But it’s always important to take a step back when necessary if the emotions become too much. It isn’t selfish to realize you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. When listening to these kinds of things I do have the urge to join in on those kinds of discussions and ask a diverse set of questions. Purely listening to venting would be hard for me because I do still feel as though a continuous back and forth are important to this kind of thing. It feels very “Person-Centered” when discussing topics. But hey I’m a changeling therapist in training ^^ even the Dr may need a Doctor or just a therapist to help them unwind and get something off their chest.

[@alphavonthraxus3739]

Arumau at the end when she said “doctor pupper” and that little squee at the end was SO CUUUUTTTEEEE

[@jjcat4086]

I got nothing, every bit of this is true. I am very glad this was brought up. Thank you all 3 of you for being courageous and willing to talk about this.

[@ADSarg41]

Thank you for this topic. Something, I let the negative side of empathy get in the way when sometimes I do not have the time, but then I let it get control of me and do it for the wrong reason for example people like me more. The negative side of empathy also leaves me of energy through emotions. that I can not deal with anymore. I like to help others when one has a real problem that can not be solved by oneself. I think this is the second time I watch one of your videos that tackle empathy. Thank you again!!!

[@Sacred_Sky_Heart]

It seems I can relate to Thespio and Aramau even more. I want to make everyone I see depressed be instead happy, but it can be overwhelming. At times I feel others problems are mine as well, when it doesn't even involve me. I can say I have been walked over a lot growing up due to my kindness also... But I do know that those who believe I'd be heartless if I deny helping them apparently could be greedy. I feel like a mix between Fluttershy, Rarity (I'm her generosity overboard point when I was younger), and even Rainbow Dash. On the note with Thespio and his mother... I have to say I can absolutely relate on that also. My mother passed from a stroke-into-brain hemorrhage in 2018, but I can relate to her by the compassion and kindness she expressed to all. I guess you could say I learned from the best on the role of being kind and compassionate... This video is a good eye opener, in my opinion. Thanks Doc. And thank you to Thespio and Aramau for opening up about this to the good Wolf.

[@matthewcenteno5515]

*hugs tightly*

[@bellaheartbreak8699]

Here's a quote that may help or not I'm not sure: "Here's a hard pill you gotta just swallow, you are not personally responsible for anyone happiness." -Jaiden Animations

[@Sacred_Sky_Heart]

@@matthewcenteno5515 *hug back*

[@Sacred_Sky_Heart]

@@bellaheartbreak8699 While it is "hard to swallow," it does hold truth.

[@bellaheartbreak8699]

@@Sacred_Sky_Heart Yeah I know some people need to hear it. Some people can feel obligated to help others when if your to busy fixing someone else mentally state your own crumbles. Here's the video I got the quote from: kzbin.info/www/bejne/anmcm4eHgNKFabM the video cover the topic of relationships. I hope this helps even if you have seen it before. (it's not a rickroll I promise, or stick bug, or distracted,.)

[@tsunsu]

This topic was relatable in ways i have yet to finde in my famliy and friends. The way it was spoke about was very good. These topics are not easy ones to tackel. You 3 do amazing work. Much respect to you guys. Have a good day!! /)(\ #BronyForever #BrodcastYourself

[@mikechicago6200]

Sorry to hear about your mom, I lost my grandparents in '09 and this year and they gave me a loving home and instill me the morals of being and good person, and though I make mistakes I take pride in myself for being thier child and that the lessons they taught me will move me into and bright future of kindess and compassion.

[@trustinnorman3698]

I've found that it's good to remember the lessons you've learned and, more specifically, how you learned them when helping others. If you had to be hard on yourself to learn a lesson then you may need to be hard on others if they're struggling with the same lesson. Usually, those lessons are accepting harsh truths, but it can be other things. Of course, even if you need to be harsh to teach a lesson, you don't have to be mean about it. I remember something written in D&C (Doctrine and Covenants) where the advice for this was given (I believe it was either God or Christ who gave the advice) but the advice was along the lines of, if you need to be harsh with someone, then show an increase of love afterward, or else they (the one that was reproved) will see you as an enemy. Anyway, I mention it because I believe it helped me to recognize who I could help, who I shouldn't, what I should say to help or to back out, among other things that I can't really remember at the moment...

[@astridvalkyrie8458]

It's been a long time since I've revisited this, but I remember finding the AMWDW very calming and the title caught my eye. Like many here and beyond I've been through that, and I've also felt that it's not worth trying to help people anymore, but after listening to this (and probably relistening to this again later with less background stuff going on), I'm thinking on things in my life like this and somehow feel a little less jaded, a little more heard, and want to thank you for doing this and others. I hope you continue to keep doing them if you can. They're very insightful and healing

[@DRWolf001]

Glad to be of service :)

[@Jason_animations]

The fact that he has to say " it's good to be helping " hurts my heart

[@figgysmezzo]

This is a good episode. Also, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who is relatively new to the fandom. Hope you guys are doing okay.

[@christopherjones7023]

Even the helpers need help sometimes. Brilliant session/video/whatever as always Doc.

[@eroraf8637]

Yeah, this hits close to home for me. My little brother is extremely empathetic, and he has severe anxiety. It hurts me to see him suffer like that.

[@raikouisawesome4074]

I know! :) It’s sad and I’m ready for the health care careers I dream of.

[@kendallonian9753]

What I usually do is try to find a way that I can help that was unexpected. Am I not feeling up to cleaning my room? Maybe I'll wash some dishes instead! or maybe I'll go around Pony Town asking to hear folks' OC backstories. I guess the long and short of it is that being helpful doesn't require you to do exactly what is expected of you. Of course, I don't socialize qutie as much as Thespio and Aramau do, so I don't suffer from the problems they have from their reputations; but in my experience sometimes doing something unexpected can be a good way to gather enough energy to push forward or just to put your foot down.

[@abigailorth6262]

11:37-13:13:😔I’m so sorry you had to go through something like that. Even though I never went through such a thing like what you said. I can understand how you feel around that time.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Man, I can REALLY relate to this. Pretty much my whole life, I've tried my best to be as kind and helpful as I could possibly be. Heck, even as a kid and it was Christmas time, I never actually asked for gifts from Santa Clause. In my mind, he was this all powerful being who could grant any wish. I figured that if I was good enough, he could grant even big wishes like end of world hunger and wars, and grant world peace. I so rarely asked for anything for myself that my parents had no choice but to guess what to get me for my birthday/Christmas and ended up getting me things that I actually didn't really like but was popular among other girls. I'd actually pretended to like what they got me and hid my disappointment of not getting what I truly want just so I wouldn't hurt their feelings. It wasn't until I was about 10 to 11 years old that I finally opened up about my actual interests and letting them know what I would like to get. In recent years, I've had to really tone down my kindness quite a bit, especially in terms of who I meet on the internet. During my first year of college, someone on one of my favorite sites gave me this sob story that I completely fell for and began manipulating me. At first it was small things, but they gradually grew bigger over time. I finally began to realize just how dangerous this individual was when I didn't go on the site for just one day and that one day turned out to be their birthday. When I went back on the following day, they kept accusing me of being a terrible person and claiming that I didn't care for not wishing them a happy birthday. Even after I explained to them that I just simply wasn't on the site that particular day for personal reasons and apologized for being only a day late to wish them a happy birthday, they were still furious at me and continued to say horrible things to me. Note: I went out of my way to try and help this person as best as I could before all this and they KNEW that I was trying to help them beyond what was demanded of me, so they had no excuse to be so cruel to me for simply missing one day that just so happened to be their birthday. This person also happened to have created multiple accounts, claiming to be siblings and trying to get as much information out of me as they could. Once, they asked me what I thought of one of the "siblings", promising not to share whatever I said to the "sibling" they inquired about. After I gave my response of being worried and slightly annoyed of how clinging they were towards me, the "sibling" who was asked about replied to me and was very angry at what I had to say. I did try to be as polite as I could be when I said those things, but they were just mad. Things really took a turn for the worst when they started sending me messages of the "younger sibling" running away from home and going on a killing spree. This terrified me! I genuinely thought they were somehow going to track me down and kill me! I begged them to stop messaging me and to leave me alone. They just kept sending them and even gave me a kill count. I finally told my family about the situation and they called the cops, none of us having any ideas of how to deal with the situation and seeing that I was genuinely scared for my life and the lives of those I love. Sadly, the police weren't able to do anything as the person lived on the other side of the world, but did advice me to block them. Back then, I did not realize you could block someone, so I had to look that up. However, even after I blocked them, they kept harassing other people to talk to me about them and I had to share my side of the story with them so that they would understand just how dangerous this person was. Shortly after I blocked them, they made another account and claimed that the killing spree was just a "prank" and was just them deleting people's accounts or something like that. This made me so mad as I honestly thought they were actually killing people. Another account was made some time after by someone who claimed to be a friend of theirs, explaining that the "siblings" I was talking to was actually just one guy. Once again, I was furious by the news. I did thank them for being honest with me, but also blocked them just in case it was the same person just pretending to be a nice guy. Some time later, after having to deal with multiple people come to me after being harassed by this creep to unblock me and share my side of the story, someone informed me that someone claiming to be the account owner's "cousin" had posted that they committed suicide after "the horrible things I did to them" and spreading all those terrible lies about me. I was just done with this creep harassing for no reason and I refused to believe that it was actually a cousin talking or that the person who had been harassing me actually committed suicide. I had been nothing but kind to this induvial and they took full advantage of me and manipulated me into feeling guilty and trying to convince me that I was responsible for their actions. My dad explained to me that this person was most likely an emotional predator and was trying to manipulate me into feeing bad for things that I had nothing to do with. I moved to a new account after this as I could no longer bare the harassment this creep was forcing on me. They took complete advantage of my kindness and turned something born from kindness into something sick and twisted. Even after blocking the person, I was so freaked out by the whole situation that I had to carry my Pikachu plushie with me everywhere I went for over a week just to have some form of comfort and security (it was a security blanket situation). I even brought it to my college classes because I was so scared! When my friends asked me about why I was carrying a plushie around with me everywhere, I told them about the situation I had gotten myself into and they were horrified that anyone would do something like that to me. We were a group of friends and pretty much everyone agreed that I was the "Fluttershy" of the group (we were all fans of MLP). They could not believe that someone would be so cruel to me as I was one of the nicest people they knew and always did my best to help others. They did their best to help me through this dark time in my life make sure I was okay. I was a lot more careful of who I talked to and what I shared on the internet after that whole situation, but I still somehow managed to attract the attention of some creeps who wanted nothing more than to hurt me and spread terrible lies about me. Luckily for me, I learned how to better stand my ground and defend myself and others. Two creeps did manage to put me in a very emotional state, but I also managed to make some pretty good friends online who did not hesitate to help me and defend me from them. So many times when I felt really bad about myself or the situation I was in because of someone else, there was always someone who was willing to help me and cheer me up because I was willing to do the same for them. Even if I didn't know exactly how to help them through whatever situation they were in, I still took the time to try and cheer them up with encouraging words and possibly a funny video I found and decided to share with them. More people online know me as someone who is always willing to help and give whenever I can, but I've also learned that it's okay to take mandatory mental health breaks and not others know that I just can't help them with their situation. Because of the reputation I've gained and all the friends I made through my acts of kindness, people are very willing to let me take some time off for myself and even try to encourage me to take take breaks and are very thankful that I can be there to even just listen to their problems. There are times where I believe that I should do more to help, but I also know that there are times when I just have to be selfish and not put other people's needs and desires before my own. If I run into a misunderstanding with someone, I take the time to explain my side of the situation and try to hear them out, too. Hardly ever has this led to both of us both still being angry by the end and we turned out far more understanding of each other. Yes, too much kindness can be a bad thing. Even toxic and just downright dangerous. But kindness can also build powerful friendships that you can rely on. If I'm on the verge of falling because one person is being mean to me and trying to take advantage of my kindness, I still have those who will be my safety net and lift me back up because I have done the same for them. Just as I am willing to help them, they are willing to help me and make me stronger and braver than I am on my own. It's amazing what kindness can do when it's given to the right people in the right amounts. Also, I've developed a much "fiercer" side of myself that I am not as nervous to let out if I see someone I care about being hurt and I have shown this side of myself to others. Now, not only do my friends know how kind I am, but they also know just how scary I can be when I need to be. I'd like to think that it makes my online friends all the more happy to be on my good side when I unleash this part of myself on those who would dare try to hurt them.

[@fiore4379]

Please make more videos! They really are incredible... I am praying for you DRWolf as I think we all need prayer no matter how well or not well our life is going, I hope you have good health and happiness ❤️

[@Kevin15047]

I never thought I would hear someone quote Jorgan VonStrangle

[@UnseelieFaelass]

I don't normally discuss what I'm about to share, as I'm not the best at handling confrontation. And I've grown up around religiously intolerant family members. But here goes anyway, as maybe it'll provide some insight. I am Wiccan/Christian, contradictory religions I know, but it is my faith and I make it work where I can. I don't need or necessarily want anyone to tell me what faith they feel I should follow because it works for them. I'm only mentioning my faith, because I have a metaphor for empathy that comes from that faith. As part of my faith, I practice Crystal Magic. In Crystal Magic, there is a VERY important thing to bare in mind. The stones you use are all beneficial in nature and are meant to heal you in some way or another. Just as an empathetic person can bring out the best in you and push down the negative, so can these stones. This brings me to the most important lesson I learned when using this craft. Always purify your stones after using what they have to offer. Just as the stones can heal negativity or suppress it, they also take it in. The more they take in, the more that will get shoved out towards you later on if you don't purify them. A friend of mine learned this the hard way when getting into the craft after seeing me using it in class. I was lucky that my small town school with five churches around it was full of tolerant folk. Anyways...he ended up losing the Quartz crystal I'd given him one day. And thus stopped purifying his other stones to the point that he was gaining prophetic dreams that actually came true. They weren't the good sort, and were even getting worse with time. I knew I had to do something but I couldn't get advice from elders in time. I have an elder in the family who is full on Wiccan, won't say who. Eventually though I figured out he lost the stone and we needed a new purification in the quartz' place. We had to be quick because the stones and my friend were in a place full of negativity. His parents were the VERY MUCH intolerant type of Christians. The ones that would set bad examples for others and even abuse their children. Won't go into too much detail on that, but the stones actually had their own reaction to his Father. They shook violently in his presence, and I believe they feared him as much as my friend used to. So yeah, definitely soaking up A LOT of bad energy. There was ONE good thing about the parents though. The church they forced their kids to go to actually seemed to make the stones happy from my friend's observations. I told to bring them with him to church for a while to purify them, as the Christian side of my faith believes churches should be a place of healing. Even if I myself don't feel comfortable in churches. Anyway...eventually my friend let me know he was fine after a while and that things had gone back to normal for him. I think the same lesson can be applied to empathetic people like myself and others. Let yourself breathe too, give yourself necessary breaks for however long you need it. If you focus too much on making others happy and helping them, you're gonna end up with a lot of negativity. Your own heart and mind can be your greatest gift and worst curse. I sometimes find myself turning the negativity I suck away from others onto myself. Attacking myself badly for my own shortcomings and wondering how anyone could possibly find good advice or gain good vibes from me. There's still things I cannot do despite being an adult, and I honestly hate myself for those failures. Yet at the same time I'm being pushed to do things that scare me due to traumatic experiences. Such as driving, which got ruined for me by my elder sis driving like a maniac and nearly wrecking with my younger sis and me in her car at least twice. As well as being dragged onto a rollercoaster by a so called friend who used my empathy against me. Even when I was having a silent panic attack at the end of it all because I'd been sliding and hopping around in my seat due to the operator not securing me tightly enough, she still used my empathy against me. Begging me not to tell on her or say a word of it because she didn't wanna get in trouble. I thank God to this day the rollercoaster in question was one without loops or going upside down in general. I may not be here today were that the case. I know I need to get over this fear, but it's made harder to do when my Dad tells me to 'you just need to get over it' constantly as if the fear will actually magically go away. Sometimes I wonder if he truly gets mental health and how it works. He's even called me a hypochondriac before, even when I have medical documents to prove I do have legit issues with my body. Either way....I'll quit rambling. Long story short, take care of yourselves fellow empaths. Don't be me and constantly beat yourself up, take those breaks. You deserve em too. I'm still working on this myself, clearly, but hopefully it's not for nothing. Hang in there folks, we all got this. Go help your loved ones and take five when needed. Also you don't gotta believe a word I said about my friend's story or my faith. I choose to believe it, and so I shall use it as an example until I'm dead. And again, do not go shoving your beliefs down my throat. I didn't share these things to receive indoctrination, hatred, or harassment. Please and thank you. Finally, to Dr. Wolf, if you see this. Keep on helping, as you do indeed help. More so than you think. Just remember to take breaks if you need em.

[@onealone-jt8oi]

Well, the old saying about taking care of yourself or you will be too sick, screwed up, or whatever else to help anyone else remains as true as ever. Nice moment, doc.

[@jerryeskridge4798]

You three sure have spoken so much truth Thank You❤️

[@DRWolf001]

Glad to be of service :)

[@TheoryWitch]

OH MY GOD. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE A VIDEO ON THIS. I'm not an empath (I think?), but I'm definitely sensitive to other people's emotions and to an extent, I've consciously repressed my empathy because I got tired of being hurt and used as an acquaintance when convenient. And I'm a bit of a gullible idiot at times because I'd give people the benefit of the doubt (my catchphrase is, "to be fair" and it even annoys my parents with how much I say it in conversation), so having empathy felt like a weakness rather than a gift.

[@mikechicago6200]

I enjoy your therapy sessions with characters Dr.Wolf, and I can't wait till the next one.

[@IDragon1930]

11:17 My Brony Seniors, My Brony Seniors Ah AH AHHHHHH MY BRONY SENIORS! Being serious it was very nice to hear of this becasue there are times were sometimes I try to have others keep my standers of empathy kindness, and understanding. But for them I might be imposing my ideas on them making them less likely to be that way. Thank you guys for bringing it up, I will try to uphold ideas, but not be overbearing in doing so. Love ya'll.

[@stephaniehewitt7483]

You're so lucky to have such good friends that you can talk to when you're stressed out because I don't have any friends who I can tell my stress to so I usually feel like self harming myself because I have so much wrong with me and no one to talk to about my problems

[@slothspeed954]

Iam very happy you keep making content from mlp even as the show ended

[@sweetdreams1028]

Wow, this was very deep and relatable for me. Keep up the good work doc. 😊

[@Peppermint88]

Wow this hits home for me i know in the past Ive been a solid rock to my friends that i help anyway possible that I can but I don't need anything in return as my life has its issues but are very minor and somethings i was able to handle stuff alone like walking out on my very first job that before than i did was always volunteer work and Doc because of your moment videos helped me to breath when the work enviroment became to toxic that i managed to have a second job to fall to where there even with my empathy and kindness its not taken for granted that when i felt i could do more at my job to be more flexibale and work in difrent areas i took courage to tell how i felt if i was bothered about something i wasnt ignored and got to be a better employee especiLy being more helpful to my coworkers and to the guest ( i work at a science and discovery musume) especially when my shift ends in the afternoon I'll see one of them swamped and instanly i tell the manager there needinding help so when i do leave i know there getting help i know with MLP i reflect to rainbow dash and rarity alot and a pinch of apple jack

[@lazlow8788]

I can most certainly relate to a lot of these things. People take advantage of my kindness a lot too.

[@razorsorku]

I need a therapy for what happened between last Saturday and Sunday and today Monday.

[@calliethewolfcat2183]

What happened?

[@razorsorku]

Well, from what happened on Saturday was really hard for me to explain. My dad yelled at me, because I made the appointment of mowing my grandparents lawn, and my mom told me to hang the shirts, but my mom yelled at me because the hangers are mixed up. I tried to untangle the hanger then mom yelled at me. I had the worst day of my life on Saturday. Monday, my dad told me on Sunday what time should he take me to my grandparents house, and today he told me to take out the trash, and for my disability of not listening to my dads instructions, he yelled at me because Idk what to do.

[@calliethewolfcat2183]

@@razorsorku I'm sorry that happened. Thank you for taking the time to tell me. I'm not sure if this is helpful or not, but, you could try talking to your parents, and try to work through this with them. Tell them how you feel, and try to remain understanding and kind about how you phrase it. This is just a suggestion, but it helps with my parents. I truly hope it works out with you and your parents. :)

[@razorsorku]

Thanks. I’ll try that.

[@agentnintendonate1thee2tan89]

Oh! Razor! Fancy meeting you here!

[@bubbleslot]

I am so thankful for these moments with doctor wolf. Even more this one. I get to learn that I'm not alone in these traits abd the gratefulness and d iui wnfalls of it.

[@charmed8933]

I agree with you doctor, I love to help people but sometimes it doesn’t always work because I’m not the right person to help them, but I try anyway to make them feel better and yes it can be overwhelming sometimes for me. But knowing that I helped them it makes me feel better that their are better

[@GCRavn42]

Yup, this hits close to home for me too. Thanks 🙏 for Uploading this video. Keep up the good work my friend. ❤️🍵🍰🌎♾✝️!

[@DRWolf001]

Glad to be of service :)

[@davidcaldwell4916]

I understand how Aramu and Thespio feel, I have been feeling that way lately and with how this year has been and the events that have been transpiring as well with all the political insanity that is going on, there are times I wish I wasn't so empathetic so the pain wouldn't be there.

[@lordsjaak]

man i did miss those videos this year :)

[@e_sshadowwolf4991]

there is good and bad in everything we can feel or do yes there are people who will take advantage of your kind personality but I'm not an empath or anything like that its comforting to know that there are people out there who will be nice because they want to help others i do to and its great to know that people get even more overwhelmed than people expect. thanks for reading and look out for those you care about. -Shadow Lavender

[@Zethrona]

You know..these videos is what keeps me sane at these times..

[@wolf241]

aww man bowling and pancakes sound Awesome right now, this message was a great one ^^

[@alexanderszivy4153]

You gave good advice on the dark side of empathy.

[@williamcrowe2576]

I know exactly how they feel. For example, I enjoy drawing for others, but I sometimes have other obligations to take care of. And I feel I have to explain why I can't draw anything when asked.

[@LucyLavender1111]

I’m so sorry to hear what you guys went through, but thank you for making this dr wolf! It’s really helped me with problems I have too

[@DRWolf001]

Glad to be of service :)