Amy Chua/Tiger Mom, "Didn't Expect this Level of Intensity!" 1/26/2011

Juju Chang interviews Amy Chua on the value and controversy surrounding her book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother."

[@leolmondhol3600]

Asian mom: "You Doctor yet" Asian son: "paused" Asian mom: "Ok, talk to me when you doctor"

[@hydra_aa1753]

lolololololololololololololol

[@gracytoyschultz4416]

Leol Mondhol YOU COME OUT OF ROOM WHEN YOU DOCTOR

[@AnaMartinez-kx1wx]

I love that family guy skit...Asian child:dad I'm only 12yrs old...Asian dad: you talk to me when you doctor...LMAO

[@kimberlys8422]

You got that from Family Guy.

[@shaz3r786]

Their perception of children are more like trophies to them rather than a life form with emotions and feelings

[@thealchemist-hf8mj]

so spot on.

[@meowballz1]

truu

[@anewtrend]

Said the person whose kids didn’t get into Harvard. Do you think those kids feel bad now both going to Harvard? I don’t think so. They’re winning at life.

[@maylynbayani]

I always tell some of my western friends that Asian parenting is mostly living vicariously through your children. Hehehe but my mother put it this way, "what I couldnt have because of having less opportunities, I would make sure you can achieve. And once you have it, it's like I had it all along." i know, weird. But im thankful for all the sacrifices my parents had to make.

[@mbinghamworks146]

anewtrend actually, those kids (now adults) probably have serious depression and feel lonely.

[@jacobl.743]

Asian parents are very loving but what they lack is empathy. They do everything for you but do not really understand how you feel.

[@leanhquoc3109]

yeah, that's kind of sad cause in the modern world, children can notice what's wrong or right in the way the parents treat them by reading, watching movies, connecting... They can compare the affect of other culture's parenting and realize the weakness of their own parents. Sometime expect too much from their parent might lead to dissapointed because parents are hard to change.

[@SuperThunderBolt2]

If you mean ALL Asian parents, then you're racist. I've seen LOTS of Asian parents with empathy.

[@aliciayu6346]

Jacob L. If

[@jaskayy6590]

+Silvia R. I'm questioning how her daughters are doing psychologically. How traumatising is that?

[@maylynbayani]

Hmmm I dont think they lack empathy because they most have probably experienced the same with their parents. But having brought up the same, being strict and having high standards is the norm.

[@stevemean8682]

I am Asian parent, this lady is crazy.

[@LeoMes01]

Agreed she makes Ronald Reagan look like Mr Rogers

[@matiasdelgado7011]

@@LeoMes01 Who's mr. Roger?

[@blackspiderman1887]

There has to be a balance. You definitely don't want to be to lenient like a lot of western parents, but being overly strict may cause your child to resent you and they may go wild once they hit 18. My parents were strict and till this day I don't really have a loving relationship with them.

[@BillyButcher90]

That's called authoritative parenting.

[@PungiFungi]

Ultimately, the little tigers tiger moms raised turn out to be made of paper. Being smart and getting good grades are important. But too many Asians grew up socially awkward and totally lacking in interpersonal skills and in the world of big business out there, that is a skill that is indispensable and that is where their white counterparts will climb ahead of them.

[@casusbelli9225]

Climb? They will straight up step over them.

[@FunFilmFare]

Not just white, but anyone who’s not Asian

[@ciarabatulan7844]

The book was about her journey trying to implement tiger mom parenting to her kids and finally learning from it and learning how to humble herself and listen to her children. Most of the judgements about her being "abusive" or too strict referred to those times she had done in the past. It's much harder to judge now because she's probably changed by those experiences. And I too had ill judgements against her while first reading her book. But then I realized that she had no ill intentions and basing it from her perspective, she was trying her best. I'm just happy that towards the end, she learned something from her kids.

[@googleuser7454]

The West is notorious for sensationalism and take a piece here and there. I think the Tiger mom story is important on many levels (cultural, personal, a.commentary on society, parenting and education and a potential insight into culture clashes and the Bamboo ceiling).

[@saynotohookups]

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[@TheFamousMockingbird]

im not sure if I agree with that, especially considering her follow up books.

[@dominiquecharriere1285]

I lived a few years in Hong Kong and always felt sorry for the poor kids of my hkers colleagues. They were simply not having a proper childhood. At 50+ I still feel my childhood was the best period of my life (I was left free with little control, spending most of my time with friends or in the mountain).

[@yoleeisbored]

asian Americans also go through this bullshit too. Esmie tseng, charlie tan, jennifer pan, etc all snapped under extreme pressure. im asian american and im always screamed, hit, etc

[@gerjaison]

"I didn't expect this level of intensity" ....ummm really? As an educated person as herself, making an unscientific assertive subjective opinion didn't expected intensity? I'm glad she's not my mum, unfortunately my mum was like that!

[@ln-zshirokitsuneva2141]

So, I don't believe her perspective was unscientific. I feel like a lot of people are overreacting negatively to her because, 1. They haven't read her book. (You'd think you would reserve judgement till after like a scientific method instead of going off what others just tell you) and 2. She wasn't making a general conclusive statement. And as we all know not every parenting style is going to work for everyone. Plus, think back, the first person to say "Gods don't exist. Zeus doesn't throw the lightening...and then goes off into their own ideas...was probably seen as a heretic too.

[@李欣-w8s]

I so appreciate that I live a easy life. love my mom

[@TheMormonSorceress]

This should be considered abuse and the parents be punished

[@curtisgreen2097]

I hust read her book. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I'm an african american guy and I kindve like her parenting style. Because even though it's strict, her daughter's aren't out hanging in the streets and in a way you can say they have an occupation on the side. An extracurricular activity and a goal to strive for in that activity as well as school and she's pushing to be successful. Life isn't going to be all roses and fairy dust. This is why I think she gets praised by the African American community. She instills discipline and being humble, respectful as well as academics, starting kids off when they're young. I really enjoyed her book. Pple complain about about her parenting style, but not too long ago there was an article in the Wall Strt journal and there was a study done on cultural groups and found out that most top corp positions are help by Asians. Just saying lol. I think african americans we shld adopt this parenting style.

[@bluebeetle34]

CURTIS GREEN Her child rebelled big time as soon as she got to college and away from her mom.

[@haroldmcguire9552]

Curtis Green my wifes story might interest you. Her most vivid memory is fourth grade. She brought home a 4 A's and 2 B's Report Card. She was so HAPPY! She handed it over Proudly. Her Father expected straight A's. Told her she was STUPID & LAZY, Grounded her until the next Report Card. She NEVER Brought that HOME. It went Straight into the Trash. She NEVER even LOOKED at it. Her Father would NEVER be Happy about it so what was the POINT. She Decided F**K You! You think I'm Stupid I'll show you STUPID. She GRADUATED High School with a 3.98 grade average after completing her first year of COLLEGE in her last year of High School. She could have GRADUATED with HONORS, but Tanked on PURPOSE just to prove a point. Behavior Specialist say you BECOME your PARENTS. That Terrified her so much that she decided NEVER to have CHILDREN. What kind of F't up PERSON would have a Child Knowing She MIGHT become her Father. She lost her HOME in the Housing Market Crash and instead of turning to her family. She became HOMELESS. Sleeping in PARKS and Dumpster Stalls. I met her during this time. She is the HARDEST Working Person I Know. She is also the STRONGEST Person I have EVER met. She's one of my HEROES. Her Principles ment more than a roof. She became HOMELESS when she was in her mid 40's. Now she is over 50 and advocates and volunteers for thw HOMELESS. Her family hasn't seen her for 15 years.

[@bluebeetle34]

Harold Mcguire I’d say it is best to raise your child in a supportive environment that rewards good behavior and improvement. Instead of setting a a fixed bar that the child must meet or they are punished, the bar should be whatever their previous best is. If the child is rewarded for self improvement then they are less likely to rebel violently. Also they learn self discipline and how to improve character and skill without someone cracking a whip at them all the time. They will carry these qualities long after they leave their parents. It’s the way I was raised and the way I plan to raise my kids.

[@theartisthasarrived]

So calling your child pathetic and lazy, while withholding dinner is "good" parenting?

[@ln-zshirokitsuneva2141]

@@bluebeetle34 so do the Amish kids, but then half of them end up returning to their old way of life after their brief period on the outside. You can't predict how a child will respond when they get older. You could love your kids all you want and provide them with everything and yet they still turn into spoiled and egotistical weirdos who expect life to go well for them without any work. OR you could be the stricter parent and your kids may end up successful and humble. Or none of those outcomes could happen. We just don't know. Tiger Parenting is just one STYLE of parenting and it all depends on what a parent thinks is best for their child. It's like watching what happens on "Super nanny". A lot of those kids are HORRIBLE and the parents are sometimes spineless. So maybe being tougher would be best. Other times we see too strict of parents who need to tone down. there is no true good way to raise a child because essentially we are all flawed.

[@sunnydale22]

Just finished this memoir today! I really enjoyed reading it, but didn't appreciate her often-used over-generalizations of just how bad Western parenting was. In the end, though, she honestly seemed to be regretful of how extreme she was with her daughters and agrees with some aspects of Western parenting. I've always loved the Chinese culture and history, and one of my earliest best friends was raised by a mother similar to Amy. Interesting study and excellent memoir!

[@nimbusykz2288]

Sometimes, I really feel like the only reason my mom wants me to have good grades is so that I can buy her everything she wants when she's a helpless cranky lady.

[@theprince9254]

I like my dad's parenting style, he pushes me and makes sure I achieve but he knows when to stop, especially as I have a few mental illnesses I have to deal with. Without him I wouldn't have got into a selective school or got good grades. Intensive parenting works well tbh, just as long as you listen to your kids.

[@matiasdelgado7011]

Being tsundere with the own kids have some advantages.

[@lovery1373]

I was raised as a "free" child. I could do basically anything I wanted, go anywhere I wanted and I got everything I wanted. Now my grades aren't that good and I'm very disappointed in myself. I don't want that to my kids. I'm very strict with my nieces, who spend a lot of time with me and my mom and I always tell them to do their homework as soon as they get out of school and if they didn't know how to do them, I would help them, as long as it takes. I wanna raise my kids to respect their parents, to be good people and to do the right choices in life, but I also want to give them a loving home where you can have fun AND do hard work.

[@XiaoFeng895]

SeeNoEvilHearNoEvil There is area to be strict about friends. Many Westerners are not strict about friends and look at all the bad language, and drugs, and dirty music, the crime. In China the popular students are the intellectuals and the students want to be friends with the intellectuals. In USA many popular students are thieves, drug abusers. The nerds (intellectuals) are not popular nor desired as friends.

[@XiaoFeng895]

SeeNoEvilHearNoEvil There is no instill creativity or curiosity. Creativity and curiosity is something we do, they are not something we are taught. Every human has the traits to be curious and to create.

[@junechoi7595]

I’m Asian and my three boys don’t play any instruments. They are in elementary school, and only thing I don’t let them do is watching tiktok and KZbin sort of things. Not all Asian parents are into academic and other stereotypical goals.

[@aduts1177]

Please let them play sports and motivate them to do physical activities. Boys need those for their proper physical and mental growth.Don't let them have mobile,ensure that they Don't become a victim of pornography

[@yoleeisbored]

Please let them go outside and socialize with their peers.. I wasn't allowed to go outside and now I'm socially awkward and lonely

[@franciskastevany620]

I thought I was raised normal. But then watching this and thought that My childhood was full about math, sempoa, tutoring here and there, piano, traditional dance, and my mom’s needs to have a good grade in class, me rebelled at 15-18 explain everything. Lol i was raised by a tiger mom.

[@hanna-pl9fx]

As a Filipino raised in that kind of household, sometimes I experienced too because my mom wants what's the best for me and my siblings.

[@justarandomgal2683]

This does not work for all kids. I have a math learning disability, Cerebral Palsy and OCD. My parents did push me, but they were NEVER this extreme. If my mom was, I probably would have killed myself because I would not be able to meet those expectations. I am already anxiety prone. I had meltdowns as a kid. and my parents spent a lot of time and money getting me help for both my mental and physical well being. My mom could be firm, but she realized that I would never go to an Ivy League College..

[@via-anghelmagahum2586]

I was raised by a Tiger not so tiger mother. My mother was an immigrant from the Philippines and education was something that was a high priority. I did grow up having extremely high expectations. I had my parents making me do schoolwork over summer. My dad making me do hard math without a calculator. No sleepovers. No non educational tv shows or video games. Practice tests made by my father. Little me was terrified of getting less than an A. My mother told me to treat a B like an F. I soon grew up thinking I wasn’t good enough until I had that grade. That I become a lawyer or a doctor. I had to get Honor roll and take all Honors and get straight As. I have to give my 200% for everything I do. But it wasn’t until my depression that my parents and I came to an understanding. I am in no ways bashing my parents or Amy Chua. I love my parents deeply and I am grateful to them everyday for all that they do for me. Like what Amy Chua said, what I thought was them saying I need to be the best, but really they intended it to be you do your best. That I am loved despite a grade. Sure my mother and father weren’t as harsh as Amy Chua was in her book at times. I read Amy Chua’s and there is a mix of agreeing and disagreeing with her parenting. I’m not a parent myself, but I think that every child is different. Some children might benefit from this parenting style, some like myself might end up being extremely insecure. Every child is different and responds differently to different parenting styles and I think communication between parent and child is key when it comes to this type of parenting. Letting them knows they are loved despite a bad grade. Sure the redoing Mother’s Day cards to me is insentive and completely uncalled for and my own mother wouldn’t do that, I think that every child needs to be handled differently so that your parenting and rearing can help them eventually become successful. My mother realized after therapy that her ways weren’t working the way she wanted like Amy Chua and her youngest daughter in the book. It’s the learning to evolve and getting to know your child and how they function and learn and comprehend things. If my mother was more straightforward in the beginning about what she meant and less harsh I probably would have understood better. I am in no way a parent and probably don’t know what I’m talking about but from a tiger cub, just please reassure them that they are loved regardless of GPA or honor roll lack of honor roll things. Take the time to learn how your child views your actions towards them and talk about your feelings and their feelings. So that way you can adjust and still push them to be the best they can be and take those honors classes and make top of the class or become a piano virtuoso. Yet balancing it out with validation instead of constant harsh criticism which is completely fine and helpful in increments and balanced out with positive comments. Not too much and not too little.

[@laviva123]

Growing up my mom had a lot of expectation for me. She sent me to piano lessons, violin lessons, ballet classes, art classes, etc etc But I hated them all. My piano teacher even said she had never seen a child who hated piano with vengeance. My mom was the authoritarian figure in the family (or tiger mom) and I was deathly afraid of her. But when I was 6th grade, I gathered all my courage and told her I didn’t want to play anymore and please don’t force me. She looked at me and didn’t utter a word. My mom passed away when I was 30. I am 50 now. A few years before she passed away, she apologized to me. I can’t help but think if she had tried a different way to motivate and get me interested in any of these things she wanted me to do, it might’ve been a totally different outcome. Instead of telling your kids what to do, foster an environment that helps them to figure out on their own and give them a sense of control of their own future and destiny. Each child also has their own personality. Some like more guidance than others. One method does not apply to all.

[@IKhanNot]

Working for Asian people is bad enough. We had one Asian manager (he was eventually fired) but he was hell to work with. About 13 people quit our team within 3 months because of him. If working for them sucks that bad I can't imagine being one of their kids.

[@AmazingEvie]

All parents want their children to be great, but even if I gave my mother a horrible card or present when I was that age I didn't even write in it I just stuck random things like pipe cleaners on a card and I couldn't even spell my name right, but my mum would never throw it back in my face, if your child wants to be great then help them by all means but let them be a child first and don't force them to do things.

[@xxwzaebd]

Education works by inducing fear and intimidation. Pestalozzi and Rousseau were wrong; Amy Chua and Mentius were right.

[@AmazingEvie]

What parent wants their child to fear them?

[@christinekwon1858]

It must be so hard for the tiger parents themselves.... Probably harder for them than the children. I have full respect for all tiger parents.

[@Twinkie989]

I stopped speaking to my parents because they were controlling narcissists, like this. I feel so bad for her children.

[@minim6981]

I love to see a STRONG Filipino woman. I'm a black native Filipino, she's a Filipino of Chinese-descent, but we're all strong women, and I'm proud of that.

[@dij7878]

I like Amy Chua and her book. I was raised by so-called "tiger parents" and although I am far from perfect, I think I turned out okay. I respect my authorities, I am self-confident, and I always strive to be the best, with an understanding that I can never be perfect.

[@fisherpeace560]

True love and strong belief on a child is the most important thing, that's the third point, which should be the only point

[@endless_galaxies3653]

My textbook included an excerpt of Amy China’s “The Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, but it cut off before the end, and it didn’t include where it says that she wasn’t a tiger mother all the way through and eventually soften.

[@lindalin5170]

My textbook also included an excerpt of Tiger Mother. It cut off paragraphs about dark side of Chinese parenting.

[@totallyrebel]

Yes, parents do influence their kids to an extent, but ultimately, it is all up to the kid to get through life on their own strong.

[@damselindiktat]

He is an IIT, IIM graduate and still the most loved writer in India! All I want to say is, its never too late to pursue what you really love! You can become a make up artist at ANY point of time in your life! You just need to hold onto it. Talent never dies out, it always stays.

[@jazsings]

For me she is combining the two styles in a positive way

[@ez2u1]

every thing in balance what I hear is she is trying to balance. to set standards is important with children balance with grace. American need more tiger mom's

[@mallorybennett637]

My brain hurts from watching this too many times. I have to write a repor for school on tiger parents!!! Ugh!

[@mallorybennett637]

typo, report

[@RyanVasquez6089]

Mallory Bennett maybe you need tiger parents jkjkjkjkj

[@Polarcupcheck]

Go write a report on Richard Feynman. Forget this Chinese con-artist.

[@legionguidry5256]

Probably the smartest post I've common across in youtube so far. Its Cultural viewpoints and guildlines than race.

[@danielhung3744]

Amy chua is lucky to have her children pulled through her, however if the child can't realize what tough love is, they will only keep living life feeling worthless despite their achievements. I personally believe that strict parenting can be good. But as with everything else, it needs to be balanced. And sometimes, kids need to experience things for themselves rather than being told constantly. How else will they learn and truly find their own path?

[@thisisrachels]

I agree with Amy Chua completely. My parents are some form of "tiger parents" and I'm grateful for them pushing me when I was younger.

[@tobyhorn9641]

I had a friend who moved out because his Asian stepmom threatened to kill his horses and his hounds over bad grades plus she had a complete hisse fit when his gall came up pregnant ,she was sico

[@andrewcho9779]

I am Asian and I would never raise my children like Amy Chua does. Tiger Moms are in my opinion an extreme of parenting. Treating a kid like a robot and making him or her more submissive is definitely something that would be more damaging to the kid in the future. Many of the most successful billionaires like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, etc. were not raised by Tiger Moms. They were raised by parents who put them in the right path, but also let them make their own decisions and loved them no matter what they did with their lives. I'd rather raise my kid to be more independent and work for his or her own future rather than force them to do what I want them to do in the future.

[@NateAzuelo]

I think people should stop insulting her and saying she is a milf and things. When i was young my parents never let me go to sleep overs and i was fine with that. Here is my question to all of you haters and people who are writing threats, would YOU rather be nice to your kid and let him/her flunk in school and say "That's okay, maybe next time" or would you rather be strict to your children and later on they play at friggin carnegie hall? I'm 11 and i just wrote this

[@EmilyA1984]

@Amy Chua--I read the original article you wrote, and I was just wondering, how old was Lulu at the time of the epic battle over learning to play Jacques Ibert's "The Little White Donkey" on the piano? I listened to that piece later on KZbin, and it sounds pretty difficult.

[@Magdalena287]

Yeah playdates and slumber parties dont give success in life, its teaching your kids grit and determination. And i love amys book ive read it a couple of times over the years and you can tell the majority of people that responding to it never actually read it

[@serenabailey2191]

Playdates are ok, don’t forget social aspect and having friends in life is important. I wonder how often to have a play date?

[@urbanprotestantstormtroope1149]

+Sophia J. Yeo Yeah right. They aren't going to do their best if they are threatned and bullied.

[@SwanPrncss]

Tiger mothers aren't mothers because they don't see their children as individuals, but investments. There's a reason why most Asian parents want their child to be a doctor or a lawyer because of the prestige AND income. You can argue that's not an issue because it insures the child's survival, but they're not really living if they aren't happy with their life. One can also argue having a child is expensive and isn't really an investment, but studies online estimate costs to be around $200k+ for one child, if he/she becomes a doctor, they can easily make that money back on top of paying for the vacations and elderly care for the parents in just a few years. The flaw in this thinking is that the law does not obligate the child to take care of their parents, but in China mainstream media and culture does. In fact, many children of tiger moms go no contact once they gain independence. It is sad because Asian Americans have one of the highest suicide and depression rates. No one wants to be born as a Lamborghini, home movie theater, or the next trip to Peru - because that's exactly what the child is; another wallet for the parents own personal gains.

[@HeartOfTheTiles]

I'm an Asian but her method of parenting won't work on me. The more pressure I get, the more I won't be able to do well in studies and stuff. My mom tried that on me and it backfired completely, all my grades were dropping. Instead, I tend to well whenever I get enough encouragement. With encouragement, I can even get A+ just by paying attention in classes. Children need emotional support too.

[@darkpoison6250]

My parents where the over bearing type…….that along with other things that happened in my life pushed me into an opiate addiction for four years……..but have close to a year clean now

[@loveedigveggies1004]

i was raised by tiger parenting ....... i think there are some pros and cons... I have a child now and i feel that you need to have a balance. I feel when a parent is to controlling it can sometimes cause fear , self loathing and a fear of inadequacy.

[@arukakirigiri5055]

I remember as a highschooler my mom never let me have a girlfriend no matter what. Now as an adult, I do have a girlfriend and my mom knows. Even though she wanted to meet my girlfriend so bad, I do my best to prevent them from meeting. It's as if though I've built some sort of fear in a tarnished relationship.

[@yoleeisbored]

i think the crazy part is that so many asian parents dont let their kids socialize or talk to people of opposite gender then all of a sudden youre expected to get married now and have a kid... like what? then there are some asian parents who try to do "Arranged marriage" (pressure to marry their friend's kid) so many of us are extremely socially awkward and have no actual experience

[@phantompinoy]

Maybe this is an act of revenge since she won't let you have a girlfriend, she doesn't get to meet her!

[@JeremyJenner]

People don't need to get perfect grades in order to get a job. Any adult can get a job. No job is "better" than another, it all depends on what you personally want to do in life. More importantly allot of the necessary life skills you need to function in a work environment are sacrificed in Asian parenting in favor of pure academic focus. Yes grades matter but at the end of the day you need to be well rounded a person.

[@ptuutube]

seen both ends of the spectrum now that i am a parent of two girls with their classmates. the takeaway is helping kids realize their potential. giving up in life is just not an option in the real world. agree with the approach of acknowledging successes but at same time addressing shortcomings. it IS the parents' job to help kids realize potential and build self-confidence. certainly being a pushover when your kids say they dont want to do something is NOT the answer; that's lazy parenting in my book!!!! identify the objection(s) weigh legitimate value and help and emphasis on "help" get past the difficulty. After all...who is the parent here? seen too much of parents bending over backwards for kid for fear of being labeled the "mean" one. Guess what real world is unkind and unforgiving!!!! Darwinism in full effect. the ability to work through day-to-day short term struggles are all that being an contributing member of society is about. So for all those bleeding heart pushover parents out there, read Amy Chua's book from a truly objective position to appreciate the message being delivered.

[@9mler]

This video looks like damage control. She just didn't like the criticism so she keeps telling us to "listen to our children" so that she doesn't look so bad anymore

[@isaaccrawford1073]

She is not white-washed this is how Asians are. They are a sophisticated people, unlike others.

[@buyungadil1]

Who's an Asian? Pakistanis, Saudis, Indonesians, Koreans - they're all Asians & they parent differently ! You guys meant "East Asians".

[@vonfistenberg]

I am behind of Amy Chua on what she advocates. Every if not all Filipinos i know takes education very seriously. And no matter what, Education first before anything else. there is no wrong in achieving the full capacity of whatever; motivates, inspires and better once life. We should be inspired and be motivated to what Amy is pointing out here.. I thanked my parents for all the motivation, encouragement and support they gave me. "Bend the bamboo while it's still young".

[@haroroa3329]

Ahahahaha

[@cysa610]

@020stevenleu dude, her point wasn't actually rock music. I'm sure she doesn't have anything specific against rock music. She's saying that sometimes kids get fickle and honestly, that's not good for their musical skills or teaching them the ideal of perseverance. Rock music was just PART of the example (violin and clarinet anyone?)

[@CrimpyStryder5958]

@GreenRad2012 The parts of the book that the WSJ did not pulish put her views into context, hence showing that she is not some control freak parent. She is not a parent who is never satisfied - her anecdotes in the book (including the birthday card) are things she has SAID she regrets in various interviews, but also that her and her children laugh about them. The reason many people have freaked out is that they themselves feel that their way of bringing up kids is inadequate.

[@guapgueezee]

best post seen today.. total agree they value results over life

[@eriktruchinskas3747]

When i saw involved parents as a kid and even now I would wish my mom was more like that. When you have a kid who doesnt want to do homework you dont say "fine dont do it" and then yell at you the next day because of course you didnt do it.

[@Serra251]

First book I've ever happily burned. I might actually take a tour of all the libraries near me and raze every copy I find. 😇

[@startist2]

I have a tiger mom...and no one has ever made me want to kill myself other than my own mother...

[@elizabethmoore9018]

I don't know... I live in America in a place that has a high concentration of Asian students and in the time I've been in high school like 10 students have commit suicide. Two so far this year. I'm just not sure this sort of parenting is for the best. Also the generalizing of "western parents", what is she even saying?! My dad had a European parents and while they were strict they never forced him to do anything and he got into Harvard with a full scholarship. He was never forced to play the piano, or the violin, or made to take extra math tests, he learned to be passionate about a subject that he actually cared about and that helped him get into a good college and get a good job.

[@elaineen1]

Being Jewish Sandy Koufax's parents wanted him to be a doctor or lawyer. He did get a degree from Cornell. Yet he followed his dream and his talent, to become a baseball player. I am sure he would have been a fair doctor or lawyer. Instead he became one of the greatest baseball players ever. The best pitcher in history.

[@JeremyJenner]

I honestly think the Western style of parenting is far superior to strict Asian parenting. As a Western kid who grew up in Singapore, the kids in local schools weren't given the adequate room to develop personalities and opinions, rather just told that academic excellence was life's endgame. You're never going to get anywhere in life life if you don't have a childhood. Kids will be kids and I'm sincerely glad I was raised in a relaxed manner.

[@JeremyJenner]

Definitely agree about that- the restriction of free speech (irony is it's the debating capitol of the world), national service, allowance of prejudice (against migrant workers or gay people) and strict laws definitely have an authoritarian effect on people. I really enjoyed my 12 years in Singapore- it's a really safe and developed country. But that all comes at a very steep price.

[@Potterpiranha]

therefore you can't expect her to look as flawless as a television person in her 20s or 30s

[@timchang650]

I suspect half the commenters have not read the book... it's quite a humorous book of her journeying being a tiger mom and gradually bending or coming to terms... She uses herself as the target of that humor... hey the kids are not on the front page of any news article being arrested like Lindsay Lohan...

[@_mnl_]

She says that this is Asian culture, but is it really? Is this sort of parenting really prevalent in Asia? She really likes falling back on that excuse. I have trouble believing empathy doesn't exist in Asia, or that parents demand a ridiculous level of perfection. It feels like it might be more of a negative stereotype rather than a cultural point, so it doesn't really make that kind of parenting OK in my head when someone says "it's just Asian culture". Yeah, don't let your kids rule you and make every decision, but if you don't let your kids make any decisions at all, they'll grow up to be dependent on others for the rest of their lives.

[@aah3504]

@EinsteinUnderstudy How does demand for excellence and training children to thrive in hyper competitive environment crush individuality? On the contrary, it builds the discipline, tenacity, and courage to succeed at anything. Let the middling think they're individualistic and creative while living out their boring, conformist, and mediocre lives that will be forgotten the moment they die. You should check out Amy Chua's daughter's blog -- she ain't a robot.

[@Itstriciax]

I don’t like Chua’s parenting what so ever. Her being a “tiger mom” it almost seems controlling in my opinion.. it’s ridiculous how she didn’t accept her child’s Mother’s Day gift card because she thought her child could “do better”. Instead of being ungrateful she should’ve been proud because not very many kids care nowadays. You can tell she was lying when she said “I don’t care about the A.” About forcing her daughter or not letting her quit violin should not have been her choice it’s about her daughter. She’s also lying when she said she wouldn’t care about her child being a hairdresser... let’s say if her child didn’t want to go to college would she kick them out? Also it’s one thing to have certain restrictions but it’s another to force them into things and not even give them a chance to breathe. Let a kid be kid because it’s almost as if you’re ruining their childhood by trying to make them become “perfect”.

[@aliciathefatpenguin]

she doesn't seem that controlling to me. she seems more like a smart and fun-loving parent who chose to suppress certain activities, behaviors, and ideas from her children that she knew they weren't mature enough to understand. any parent regardless of race is capable of doing this, yet it only seems more prominent in asian and christian cultures. and i find it interesting how both women in the interview were asian with white husbands, yet had polar opposite styles of parenting, haha

[@CalifaJohn]

Every coin has two sides. Chinese culture is renowned for hard work, building wealth and empire, and high achievement in existing disciplines, however it does not have a strong history of rapid innovation. Much of China's success comes from what it gathers from the west. Rather than trying to make an argument that one culture is "better" than another, the real strength is the cultural hybrid that can be created in highly innovative places such as California where cultures are mixing.

[@urbanprotestantstormtroope1149]

Chinese culture is more renown for prostitution and drug abuse not to mention communism. After reading amy chua's book I think I can safely say we fought the wrong side in the Pacific during WW2.

[@littlegabriel5548]

She lives in the United States though so I really couldn't care less. That's like saying since I'm Irish I should learn to have a ton of kids. Come on, its the 21st century.

[@urbanprotestantstormtroope1149]

Little Gabriel She hasn't assimilated. She still views her children has property that can be disposed of in any way rather than as human children with developing minds. Now she's contaminating our country.

[@CalifaJohn]

Urbanprotestantstormtrooper I think that goes a bit far. Family obligation is stronger in Chinese culture, but I don't observe them considering their children as property.

[@urbanprotestantstormtroope1149]

John Francisco They treat their property better.

[@DaiZenKarl]

And in all of the schedule of her childs where it was the time for having a childhood and also they were thought to be always perfect then where are the space to learn about to accept frustration when something doesn-t go as you plan it to? those womans that she raised how are they gonna act when they comfront failure?

[@TigsNY]

Jennette McCurdy's mother Debra and Michael Jackson's father Joe are even worse than Amy. In my opinion, both of them pushed their kids to stardom the Tiger parenting way. According to Jennette, she said that her mother would put her on calorie restrictions and her mother would perform body exams on her. And for Joe, he was very strict, physically and emotionally abusive. According to Michael, he said that he would whoop the kids and call them mean names if they don't perform well. Tiger parenting not only happens in normal academic lives, but it also happens for a higher chance for children to succeed in the public eye as well.

[@sophylin1989]

Asian parents usually love their children but are strict.They can try to learn from Tiger Mother 's education,be more patient with their children ,and let them grow up better.

[@Stinger522]

This is my advice on how to counter a tiger mom,walls,walls, and more walls. I know this is a recipe for family division but sometimes you have to fight something bad with something worse.

[@benn.5976]

Sorry for the grammatical errors.

[@smileyblair3321]

Don’t listen to those Karen’s. Go girl. Don’t apologize.

[@peishan555]

I'd like to confirm that not all asian parents are like this

[@totalglamourgirl]

I LOVE AMY

[@dattape2828]

why. she doesn't even represent the true asian family. no asian spouse. oh well. next

[@totalglamourgirl]

shes heaps smart and determined & her children are going to be soo smart!

[@urbanprotestantstormtroope1149]

Heidi Liu It wont make a difference if they break. Those kids are going to be like Craig Toomy from Langoliers.

[@bubbleman1081]

A very straightforward, conventional, and focused pathway to raise children.

[@Amblix]

parents have how many kids on average. what, maybe 2? 2 chances to raise a kid doesn't seem to qualify anyone to be an expert. All parents are in the same shoes. Everyone's a novice and all have to just make decisions and run with them for better or worse. Her books describes her personal journey. frankly, I think most people would agree that there are a lot 'worse' parents whose kids turn out to be nightmares. in that light, i don't see this warranting as much controversy as it has

[@hansgruber3045]

I think she is doing the right thing, maybe with a few exceptions. Childhood is the perfect time to shape a child. They learn so quickly. I learned english in a very short time at 8 years of age as a swede, so did the rest of my class. Now take us when we are 30 and make us learn a new language. Some will grab it fast, but most wont. I think its a parents duty to mold and teach their child to be as stable and functioning as they can be. If i had a son or a daughter, i would spend time with them, and tell them how to pay your taxes, how to read and pay bills etc, because they wil learn quickly and it will stay with them, and will be a beatiful gift.

[@doctor594]

People are just scapegoating this woman because they are too insecure to do anything about their own lack of ambition.

[@mariemartin7056]

When I told my mom about her at 13 , she flipped out

[@LeonardLuzon]

The disadvantage is that their children may not be independent enough when they're grown up. However, another disadvantage for lenient parents would let their children become spoiled or "junk"

[@JCSPELLS]

Backtrack much.. stand by what you say

[@Polarcupcheck]

She doesn't have shit on tennis parents.

[@xxwzaebd]

But she learned law books and became a member of the higher society. People are different based on their education level and their jobs.

[@boomibear82]

my mom insisted she wasn't a "tiger mother" but she freaked out when she found out I had been getting a B+ in math.

[@fridha2139]

advice: read the book before giving an opinion and dont make yourself look like a fool

[@earltan7067]

How long does she realize that kid's have feelings. I understand that you want to manifest your kid's destiny for a better future. It's fine if you make them study at least 2 hours to 4 hours. Doing 100 things at once and sleeping 6 hours a day is gonna kill you. If you want your kids to be versatile, make them learn 1 by 1 or 2-3 if they can cause no one can handle that pressure for months

[@obsday]

@jackbauer6543 i can't evn imagine growing up with that. i'm an adult and i couldn't take six minutes of her. can you imagine having to live with and be RAISED BY her as a five or six year old?

[@zcm007attack]

"Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." -Alejandro Jodorowsky

[@Jklsays101]

i like how the interviewer was lowkey throwing shade LMAOO and amy chua's like: I care about my kids :) i don't care about a's :) and the interviewer is like: .....really bitch :/

[@YourHeartIsTheKey]

lol would love to see both of them make out

[@Jklsays101]

+YourHeartIsTheKey shut up lmao

[@luckm8852]

My mum was everything this woman described in her book and a lot more. She administered a mandatory daily dose of beatings as well. I used to have bruises and cuts on parts of my body that could be hidden away under clothing like my torso and upper thighs. Once things got out of hand and I had cuts on my left forearm which festered. That was when my teacher had a talk with my mum. It was the 1980s so she was let off with a warning. From then on, she was extra careful not to leave any marks on parts of body not covered by clothing in public spaces. I grew up getting outstanding grades that made national headlines. I got degrees from top universities. I eventually ran away from my mum but I am forever damaged and suffer from severe PTSD and mental health problems as I grow older.

[@CFL-hh4gl]

Reminds me of my childhood. I guess they are few of us who are aware of this. Welcome

[@CreativeCreaturefx]

This makes me so sad to hear and read stories of childhood abuse.😢 I didn't go through that but I was forever traumatized when i witnessed a school friend getting whipped horribly by his dad because came home late. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and was so tempted to scream for help because I thought he was gonna kill him. Then I found out it was a regular occurrence and it made me depressed for awhile.

[@luckm8852]

@@CreativeCreaturefx I'm so glad for you that you were shocked and did not realise that such things could be a norm in a person's life, because this means that you weren't experiencing anything like that growing up.

[@nanaalmani4300]

My dad used to be a tiger parent but when his children go through bullying at school to the point of depression and also some of us started showing signs of rebelling and were like "bitch we won't hesitate to run away" he started to soften lol. For our own mental health, we started to forcefully eliminate any kind of fear we have towards him.

[@yoleeisbored]

a lot of tiger parents don't really care about their kids getting bullied.. im korean but born in america and they just laughed at me.. im so depressed...

[@Itszsmallpotato]

@@yoleeisbored I didn’t even tell my mum about what I’ve been through tbh I don’t expect anything from her

[@salomesandroshvili6711]

@@yoleeisbored :(

[@blueizumi]

@@yoleeisbored I hope things are better now

[@MoMo-rx4zr]

that’s nice…my dad destroyed my only real friendship and moved me around to whatever school would “help me get into a good college” and it burnt me out. Ironically, he used my cousins “failure” (she went to a state school) as a reasoning for not letting me go to the high school my friends went to, but now that “failure” cousin is the most successful person in this family and all my friends at that has went to competitive colleges, meanwhile i’m still burnt out

[@MsMondaymornings]

Growing up, I always did what my parents (especially my mom) wanted me to do. I played piano, I got good grades, I volunteered at the hospital. My mom told me what college I should go to, she picked out my major. And I blindly went along with it. She even applied for a job at her hospital on my "behalf", despite knowing that I wasn't sure I wanted to work. But I went for the interview and I got the job. By sophomore year I was burnt out. Between the 15 credit hrs and 40 hr work weeks I didn't have time to do much else. What was I even doing? I didn't want to be a doctor, I decided I was done listening to my mom. I changed my major and my job. I finally know what I want to do with my life, and when I think about my future, it's without the pit in my stomach. But sometimes she'll say things like "we need to start looking at graduate schools". No. This. Is. My. Life.

[@lenamaximoff5484]

Awww. It's good that you now decide what you want to do. Don't let anyone control you. You're not a robot. :)

[@Anthony_in_Bloomington_Indiana]

Well done, Serena! This reminds me of an interview I heard on Public Radio with Mel Brooks. He said, "It's my life. I'm going to spend it singing and dancing my heart out." Mel made some fabulous movies, including my favorite movie from the 1970s, Blazing Saddles. Freddie Mercury's mom wanted him to be an accountant. Obviously, he did much better singing with Queen. I was just reading quotations by P.T. Barnum. I like these 2. “Unless a man enters upon the vocation intended for him by nature, and best suited to his peculiar genius, he cannot succeed.” “WHATEVER YOU DO, DO IT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT. Work at it, if necessary, early and late, in season and out of season, not leaving a stone unturned, and never deferring for a single hour that which can be done just as well now. The old proverb is full of truth and meaning, "Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well." Many a man acquires a fortune by doing his business thoroughly, while his neighbor remains poor for life, because he only half does it. Ambition, energy, industry, perseverance, are indispensable requisites for success in business. Fortune always favors the brave, and never helps a man who does not help himself.”

[@SomethingSomethingg]

Are you Indian? I've been curious how parenting differs from different parts of Asia. When "tiger parenting" is discussed in Western societies it's almost always focused on only the mothers and only women from Oriental countries. I've been wondering if it's different in Indian or Arab countries. Because the attention is so heavily focused on Oriental mother's there's this fallacy that in these cultures the education is more of a woman's responsibility than a father's. In India I've noticed that it seems to be more patriarchal. In what little I've seen of Indian families the father is shown as the king of the house and it is he who makes the demands and does the scolding/punishing if they misbehave. I'm also curious how or if religion plays into parenting. For example, where I live there's a huge population of Irish Catholic families and how they are disciplined and taught both at home and in school is based on Catholic teachings. In Oriental countries like China, Japan, Taiwan, North and South Korea, etc. religion isn't important and rarely influences parenting. But in Indian and Arab countries religion is very important and I'm curious how it affects the parenting.

[@savannamoody4870]

How are you doing nowadays? Any update?

[@TisDansk]

Yeah I relate to this

[@cheriedeurope]

I will never forgive Amy Chua for wanting to burn the doll's house of her daughter just because she refused to practice piano THAT long

[@walterkuzak2008]

How about the time she ran over her daughter's ankle and made her go on a long car ride instead of seeking treatment

[@Shadowdoc26]

@@walterkuzak2008 did that actually happen? Because that’s clearly Child abuse and assaulting a minor.

[@michaellovely6601]

@@Shadowdoc26 I wonder what Amy Chua would say to the police if the neighbors got them involved. She would probably say that Sophia has a lack of situational awareness and she wasn't watching where she was going.

[@urosrakic6900]

I'm so happy that I didn't had tiger parents like Amy Chua. If Amy Chua were my mother, I would run away from house, go to police station and tell that she abused me, and after that I would cut every ties with her and repeatedly say:,,Amy Chua is not my mom anymore".

[@nyah1808]

@@walterkuzak2008 she did get treatment and she made her go on the car ride, she had a cast and everything

[@sintiaec9661]

"Dont assume your child is weak.." Totally agree with it.

[@matiasdelgado7011]

Being tsundere with the own kids have some advantages.

[@greengreengreen5132]

Says the one who tastes germX

[@primroseoak44]

My mom was not strict, but that forced me to hold myself responsible for planning my time and getting things done. Not having her breathing down my back while I did homework helped me get really good at motivating myself. I'm so grateful for my mom.