An Actually Autistic review of Ezra

[@yourgodismean4526]

Just btw, from an autistic horse girl, the way to greet a new horse(or any horse) is to blow into their nostrils. That’s how they say hello to each other. They get enormous info from this. No eye contact needed

[@Broken_robot1986]

I think a horse would bite my face if I blew into their nose!

[@myoldaimsnwastaken]

As a parent to an autistic child who suspects I may have some undiagnosed neurodivergences of my own, I'm so sick of the "it's so hard to parent an autistic kid" narrative. I've been focusing my research on listening to autistic people talk about their experiences so that I can help my child instead of them being brushed off as lazy and disrespectful like I was. This has resulted in me feeling incredibly lonely, however, because the spaces made for parents of neurotypical kids don't have information relevant to our situation, and spaces for parents of autistic kids are largely "woe is me" echo chambers. I hate it, but I would rather be isolated and lonely than associate with groups of people who would look at my bubbly, curious, wonderful child as inherently less than just because he flaps his arms and eats with his hands.

[@minglewit-AutismADHDcoach]

Very relatable @myoldaimsnwastaken! Feeling lonely too. I think it is always a struggle when kids don't get what they need to thrive. I think it's what went wrong with our capitalistic societies where we have to perform like soldiers, to support the more privileged, more influential and usually greedy rich.

[@Hannah-lo3gn]

The horse thing is infuriating. Can we have a film that does the opposite? An allistic character is arbitrarily put in situations with various excuses to make the character 'prove' that they are actually capable of adapting to autistic behaviours if they try. like a cat for them to NOT make eye contact with. words to take literally. information to share directly. and a bunch of scenarios for them to practice minding their own business and accept that not everyone or everything has to be just like them.

[@yourgodismean4526]

Ok, comment 2. I feel horrible about the early intervention classes I put my autistic son into from the ages of 2-3. (He was diagnosed b4 the age of 2, -now 23-I didn’t find out I was until 2 years ago.) We didn’t know any better back then! He got “better” in terms of his abilities w eye contact, playing w other children and affection. But I can’t help wondering now if that would have happened anyway? I’m very, very grateful that our community has come together to figure out our own healing and lives-Autism Speaks NOT needed. My son is doing great, btw. Healthy, happy. He has a gf, a job and he’s an amateur filmmaker thinking of going to film school. So incredibly proud

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

If, by “early intervention,” you mean ABA, unfortunately, few parents “know better” even today. ABA has metastasized to permeate every corner of an Autistic child’s existence in the United States. The cultists who practice and promote it have successfully convinced just about every state to mandate Medicaid and insurance coverage (often to the exclusion of legitimate therapies) and have convinced the medical establishment they provide the “gold standard” of treatment based on nothing but their own heavily biased and poorly conducted studies printed in the journals they themselves publish. An Autistic child born in the United States today has a near-zero chance of avoiding ABA if they’re diagnosed in early childhood. It’s sickening. Also, on a related note, any supposed medical professional who refers to support or accommodation of Autistic people as “intervention” doesn’t have our best interests at heart. “Support” implies collaboration. “Intervention” implies complete lack of autonomy on the individual’s part and that the autistic neurotype is something broken that requires “intervention” to correct.

[@peteracton2246]

@@GhostIntoTheFog Well said. I read ABA as the kind of click training they use in circuses or zoos (static circuses) to get animals to comply.

[@faeriesmak]

Hey. I just want to tell you that at the time you did what you thought was best for your son. You didn’t know. And if he is 23 now, there was not much information out there at the time about autism and how to help your autistic children. I have 2 sons, 23 and 17, and even just in the time space between them a lot of things changed. My younger son is getting more appropriate support than my older son got. My older son got support, pretty good support when he was very young, but not the best support as he got older. I think that in general attitudes about autistic traits are also changing. About 20 years ago the goal was to train kids to behave normally in society. Now I am finding that there are more accommodations being made and people are more willing to work with that instead of trying to change the child’s traits. You did the best that you could with what you knew at the time.

[@yourgodismean4526]

@@GhostIntoTheFog Sry, I dk exactly what the ABA is Edit: Though, reading further about this “click training” nonsense, I think that’s nearly what they did with my son. Do something right, get a gummy. Oh I’m so sorry, son. You were nvr an animal to be trained. Off the point, but we ALL thought the MMR vaccine caused autism bc of that STOOPID study. Scared the shit out of us. I didn’t end up vaccinating my kid til he was 16(and no, he didn’t grow another head or start twitching when I started again). Thing is, he’s a healthy cognitively gifted incredibly kind young man

[@yourgodismean4526]

@@faeriesmak Thank you! That’s very kind. It’s true- there were no autistics-run orgs out there(that I knew of) at the time. Ppl were so clueless-they would tell me he’d nvr read, or talk typically, or have a gf, or even be able to live independently!! He proved them all wrong, as amazing autistic n AuDHD folks do every single day

[@millersam07]

The metal spoon is actually a perfect example of the autistic person doing something for a REASON! So many people just assume the kid is being difficult, obstinate, stubborn, inflexible, a troublemaker, etc. but it makes perfect sense that the metal spoon would hurt his teeth. It's even something he might grow out of when his adult teeth come in, and assuming his gums/teeth are kept healthy. Just give the kid a set of plastic utensils to keep with him. Heck most outdoor stores like REI have them on key chains for easy portability. You could even do a fun day at school where the parent brings in different foods (that must be eaten with utensils) and all the kids are given their own plastic cutlery to eat with and an education about their classmate on why he eats with this (kid could even do the presentation himself if he wanted to) and then the class is invited to also eat with the plastic utensils. Make it fun and have them be blind folded and focus on the difference they feel with plastic, vs metal, vs wood, vs their hands.

[@hank_430]

Me, an autistic with a whole family of undiagnosed autistics with friends that are also autistic, can be ableist af because that’s the default. It’s the factory setting and I HATE it bc it’s just one more layer of programming (programming that ACTIVELY harms me and those I love) that I have to weed out and unlearn one line of code at a time. It’s waking from the borg but still hearing it every time you go to make a decision or a choice or just how you look at a person. It has been the hardest and most painful reprogramming but it’ll likely be the most rewarding from a humanity standpoint ♥️

[@mikko.g]

After 4 decades of the 'right' motivation I still haven't overcome being autistic... maybe I'm doing the motivation part wrong.

[@sarahsovereign4522]

My two cents @13:00, as an adult, I noted that ALL of my filters (incoming and outgoing) came down after the novel two-part one, making me behave drunk; and then after a subsequent 10year top-up (not using the b-word or the v-word), got electrical zingers radiating out from that point for a day. Really distracting and disconcerting, nothing else like it! I totally get how folks make that correlation- especially after the filter-down event!

[@arobinreads]

Exactly the thoughts I had. Thanks for the video

[@minglewit-AutismADHDcoach]

Thank you for noting that this is your own personal opinion, but I actually agree 100%.

[@blaome12]

While I definitely agree and see many of your points, I don't agree that Ezra's perspective is never shared. While this movie does share Dad's perspective for the majority of the movie, it could be argued that this reveals the common and problematic pitfalls parents fall into while parenting kids with Autism. I fail to see how, by sharing his narrative for most of the film that this makes his position or approach "right." Ezra, though not afforded much agency, does call his dad out for using him tokenizing-ly as his "good luck charm." There's absolutely a need for not only kids with Autism but for Autistic people across the lifespan to be depicted in film with more agency. While not glorifying Dad, it seems to honestly tell a story of a dad who has his own hang-ups with his dad, while struggling to support his kid in a more person-centered approach than his ex-wife. I think this shows the nuance of the conversation: people who parent can (even unintentionally) cause harm, but still can work to do better. It does obviously reinforce tropes of saviorism and that the character in the title of the movie isn't featured as much as should be, but I also think this brings to light the reality that each character around Ezra is capable of helping or harming, and often both. I very much see your plea for better stories to be told, but I also think stories that tell the truth about the co-dependent interpersonal relationships as well as the lack of real support from the systems in place do help educate the general public to challenges they otherwise may not be familiar.

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

The problem is, when a martyr parent is the one telling the story (which, as Jeremy illustrated, seems to be the default in Hollywood), the story will never be respectful or a genuine display of allyship. It isn’t a coincidence that the producers consulted and cast other martyr parents (like Jason Katims and Robert De Niro) and brought on Alex Plank as co-producer and consultant (who, despite his recent insistence to Jeremy that he’s anti-ABA, has appeared as recently as 2021 on the ABA propaganda web show “Autism Live”).

[@jeremyandrewdavis]

Ezra calls out his dad once, then after that, how many times is his dad put in a situation where he has to demonstrate that he has changes? How many times do we see the dad after that telling Ezra he doesn't have to make eye contact, hug, or use metal utensils? Zero. So this communicates to the audience that those elements weren't part of the dad's arc and weren't necessary to show the dad's growth. Hence it endorses Ezra being coerced into sacrificing his boundaries.

[@minglewit-AutismADHDcoach]

Unfortunately it seems that these kind of movies focus too much on the entertainment factor and less on educating, advocacy and creating agency. Not many people can be as objecive as you @blaome12. Yes, it seems like a 'good story' (I haven't seen the movie yet, and may have to change my opinion around it once I've seen it. But somehow I think this is not going to happen.) Yes, maybe the movie reveals the "common and problematic pitfalls parents fall into while parenting kids with Autism" - as you say. I still think that at the end of the movie is the dollar sign. Usually there is more focus on how 'successful' the film is in terms of $$$ than actually clarifying the struggles and challenges of a neurodifferent person. I wish that thes kind of movies would create a path for equity, rather than creating a feeling of "Awwww, that is so 'heartwarming', and so interesting! Can we please have another entertaining movie like this?"

[@Green_Roc]

I havent seen Ezra. I pause at 0:37 of this video (I have seen many of your past videos. I am a level 1 autistic and I had a level 3 autistic friend. "yikes" huh? I may not be able to hold myself back as I watch your video. unpauses. 1:21 So far, I agree. "The system" really is terrible for me, a 47 year old autistic female (officially Dx'd). 1:48 I WANT AN ASH KETCHAM JACKET LIKE YOURS. Damn, I got distracted. 2:07 I was put into special ed most of my childhoold life. It was not specialized, it was ..... a living nghtmare of being bullied by super bullies, and not specialized for my way of learning. I'm only 2 minutes in on a 14 minute video. Welp, looks like I might be reviewing your review as part of shoring the world.... HOW I FEEL IN SOCIETY. 2:46 Oh crap. Welp, to spare myself from screaming at my computer, I think I may need to not finish. I had parents who never accepted me as I was, never stopped corecting me, and I am about to scream. My parents..... I cant.... they just.... never stopped trying to normalize me, I have PTSD so bad, that I have suffered two ..... shurtdowns this year which left me unconscious for several days. "The system" has threatened to put me into a group home. I am legit scared that the right kind of theme is what I need to save my autonomy. The cops, dont understand what I need. I do NOT need to be put in a group home. I NEED THE SYSTEM TO STOP PUSHING ME PAST OVERWHELM. I dont need a group home. I need to be treated WITHOUT traumatizing me. I'm about to cry. I like your shirts. Thank you for watching the movie I am afraid I cannot be "calm enough" to see "Ezra" myself. The System needs to stop threatening me with cops for not being "calm" enough for their damned NT needs. I hide. I hide, and have almost no outside life. Because I am too much for "The system" and "the system" is too much for me. Text helps me hide, text helps me share. Texting here gives me hope I can get a better life, someday, if someone reads. With text, You cant hear me sob. You cant hear me scream. But you can see my words. ----- I had to go to the DMV last week. I lost consciousness at the DMV. I PASSED OUT!!!!! Woke up in a hospital, having been injected with several funky meds making me dizzy and extra "crazy" (more/less crazy than my baseline). And I was threatened with a group home if I pass out again. Want to know more? Search words: "5150 California Hold" Notice.... I CANNOT REFUSE IT WITHOUT A LAWYER I CANT AFFORD HOLY **** (my heart palps) I passed out last week, because "The system" is too much. I'm trembling in fear. Will proper representation of what I need, ever be put into movies before I die? Only time will tell. (I will submit comment once I can get my fingers to stop shaking, after edits are made to correct my typos) ----- TO JEREMY: Jeremy, thank you for what you do. You are one of the best representations I have seen. Maybe you need to write a movie. but I am not the boss of you. ----- And society (the system) needs to stop being bossy to me. I've seen a group home. Seems like a place that would be worse than hell. (what is hell? LIFE under "THIS SYSTEM" is Hell on earth imo.) I dont know how to avoid passing out again... Because I could not get some of my needs met without a valid ID. I could not get a valid ID without going to the DMV. Summary: I passed out at the DMV. The environment was too much for "MY SYSTEM" (my body). I passed out. Sad. Terrified. Anyone think I should or should not watch the rest of this video? I'm open to kind replies. Thank you for reading whomever got this far. TL:DR; My comment is NOT a reading requirement. P.S. I am aware I am typing a public comment. Creative commons, feel free to use my words for free.

[@bella_daze3092]

I remember seeing this film at its premiere. I had to leave because I felt so uncomfortable watching Ezera. I don’t know what convinced me to actually look up what people thought of it after it came out, but I personally didn’t like it. Because it wasn’t about the kid who was autistic, he just felt like an afterthought… I’m a girl who’s autistic, and it told me that they didn’t even bother to see what the kid thought. They were deciding things for him and it really felt like the person that wrote the script and never never even met somebody with autism… it was very disheartening

[@melinnamba]

I saw a trailer for this movie a few days ago and it made me feel kinda icky. There was definitely a strong sense of "look, the autistic behaviors go away, we're fixing the autism!". It makes me sad to hear that I was right about that assumption. And it seems like there are a lot of missed opportunities as well. It would have been so great to have a movie about an autism parent, who learns to accept that they are actually an autistic parent. And while really unlikely, I think the dads need for hugs and eye contact could have been an example of unusual sensory needs, I mean if you have met one autistic person, you have met one of us. I for example absolutely to be surrounded by bright colours and intricate patterns. It would have been cool to see father and son navigate those clashing needs and find a middle ground that works for both of them.

[@CriminalDoenjangJjigae]

The horse eye contact scene was originally going to be him breathing into the horses nose, but it didn't happen because the actor for Ezra (who ks autistic himself) didn't want to breathe into thw horse, so they adjusted it. However it doesn't add to the themes of the movie

[@frankiestein8542]

The eye contact with the horse was not originally in the script, it was an accommodation they made for the actor (Willam Fitzgerald) who played Ezra. The way to actually bond with a horse is by blowing in their nostrils. This is what they had originally planned for Willaim to do. However, he did not want to do it, because he was afraid the horse would sneeze on him. To calm his fears, the director decided to demonstrate blowing in the nose, to show that the horse would not sneeze. However, when he did the horse sneezed all over the director, just as William had feared. William reacted by shouting "peace out!" and running away from the horse. To film that scene, they had to change the script, so that he made eye contact, instead. This was also because William did not want to touch the horse, due sensory issues. In this eye contact scene, William was also not really standing in front of the horse, and making eye contact. They actually filmed the shots of him and and horse separately. I still agree with you about your point on the eye contact though, and his father forcing a staring contest. That part made me cringe, too.

[@katzenbekloppt_mf]

Nooo😱 not Robert de Niro 😭😭😭 Another lost "hero". Damn. But Your review again was excellent, I think You should better be hired.

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

Yeah, De Niro is a special kind of trash. He invited Andrew Wakefield to screen an anti-vax propaganda film at the Tribeca Film Festival in 2017 and only withdrew the invitation under the threat of a filmmaker boycott (he later said on The Today Show he regretted withdrawing the invitation and that Wakefield was asking questions about vaccine safety that needed to be answered).

[@ArisAzul]

Sounds like an aba promotional tool. Hollywood is utterly unwatchable

[@ArisAzul]

My daughter did the drastic switch up at two. My interpretation is that she was finally able to express herself. She was concerningly unbothered and unsettlingly silent most of the time. Although her eyes showed unlimited micro expressions.

[@ArisAzul]

I don't mean Silent people are weird, it was just that she wouldn't even cry when she was hurt

[@Green_Roc]

So like, The Twilight Zone with doctors saying "Something is wrong with you!" ? I'm a 47 year old autistic and I think I wont watch this video past 2:46, unless someone tells me this video wont upset me. So far, I dont think I want to watch Ezra. ----- I've seen Rainman, reminds me of my level 3 friend (I am level 1). I refuse to watch Sai's "Music". I LOATHE Tropical Thunder (never seen TT, but I been teased based on that "Comedy") Jeremy's videos are better representation than any movie I have seen that purposefully represents Autism. "Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs" felt like a good represenation, but "Autism" was not the focus in that Pixar movie. His Dad was horrible to him like my dad was to me, obsessed with his own interests like WORK. But for me, I didnt get a happy ending with my dad. I always try to not to go past three lines in a single comment on KZbin, but my feelings on this matter cant seem to fit into three lines of text.

[@68thornwood]

Well, if you'd like a better story you might like to take a look at "Dear Miss Landau" (Chaplin Books, 2012), an actual story of a real life road trip across the U. S., undertaken and written by a real Asperger. No one else has...

[@ArisAzul]

I'd love to tell DeNiro that I'm autistic as wasn't vaxed until fifteen.

[@peteracton2246]

Thanks for the heads-up on this one. I won't be watching. I haven't seen the rain person film either.

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

Ironically, even though the Dustin Hoffman character in Rain Main was portrayed as Autistic, the real person the character was based on wasn’t.

[@peteracton2246]

@@GhostIntoTheFog Cool fact I didn't know.

[@minglewit-AutismADHDcoach]

@@GhostIntoTheFog hahahahah... thank you for that comment, it made me laugh for a change...

[@NekoChanSenpai]

Never heard of this movie, but based on this discussion, wow this movie hates us. Why can't we have a movie with the autistic kid learning to get and use accomodations and manage sensory overload? Or a parent learning they are autistic and becoming better at living comfortably by understanding their kid and fighting for them? Or literally any movie that doesn't glorify forcibly changing kids to make them fit in??

[@minglewit-AutismADHDcoach]

💓

[@Green_Roc]

Or "Twilight zone" with masked faces (Spoiler: The masked people had pig faces), that seems to be a short representation of how I feel as a 47 year old autistic under this system people call "Society". "Something is wrong with you!" the doctors kept insisting.

[@Kwadratura]

Imagine If this film ended up as Max learning that special education actually helps Ezra develop better in Peace with himself and accteps it even tho he thought it will ruin his life at first

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

Thank you for mentioning the harm De Niro did and the staggeringly bad choice to cast him, although you left out the fact that he invited Andrew Wakefield (the father of the autism/vaccine zombie lie itself) to screen a “documentary” at the Tribeca Film Festival in 2017 and then went on The Today Show to repeat the zombie lie and whine about how he felt coerced into withdrawing Wakefield’s invitation by the threat of a filmmaker boycott. While I appreciate your openness to dialoguing with De Niro, I don’t think that would be productive and certainly don’t think he would be open to such dialogue. Turning a martyr parent like him into an ally is virtually impossible. You can’t change the minds of martyr parents with a warm hand and a smile. And, on a related note, for everyone creaming their pants over the big Taxi Driver anniversary this year, get a life and better taste in actors.

[@k.s.6568]

From an outside perspective, after reading the comments, here and in other related contexts, one could get the impression that a high percentage of the US population is or believes to be autistic. Are there any known reasons for that?

[@minglewit-AutismADHDcoach]

So that's what happens when the movie making is controlled by 'neurotypical' film makers.

[@Kevdog1920]

I enjoyed it